"The prince is waiting for you in the garden and will explain it all to you my Lady." Maehsos said coldly. He bowed, and she passed by wonderingly. She came to the rose garden and saw Fingon in deep conversation with the gardener. She waited patiently until they finished and than the two looked up and saw her. The prince came forward a hand out stretched in greeting.
"Good afternoon, and welcome home my Lady, it is good to see you again." he said. She took his hand and kissed it as she bowed slightly.
"My Lord, I hope I find you in good health of heart and mind?"
"Very well thank you. Was your journey difficult? I trust you not assaulted by any bandits." he motioned for her to be seated and sat himself.
"No the road was quiet and I went undisturbed until I returned here my Lord prince. I was run into by a girl of the Edain as I came into the garden. The steward said you would explain what an Edain girl was living here for?" she waited for a reply.
The Prince rose and looked out to the lake as it crashed against the shore carrying the sand and stones away to be washed against that of distant shores. Tension was high and he felt that he was facing a great difficulty as he turned, and told Lady Bethriel of finding the helpless girl on the edge of death.
How he needed to try and save her, how Maehsos was ready to give up her. And that he felt deep inside of him that to do so, would mean more than a little trouble to their people in the future. She was unable to know the joy that filled him as the life return to her body. He told her of the child's waking and her fear and the danger that had almost befallen her, but a few weeks ago.
He could not tell her how he knew that the Valar had brought her to them for a purpose, she would only scoff at the idea of the Valar caring what happened to a Edain girl. He told her everything she needed to know to understand why he kept the child there. Even of the near escape the girl had in the village.
"It would seem that this girl is more trouble then she is worth, if you don't mind my saying so my Lord." Bethriel said softly, she was uncomfortable with the feeling with which the Prince spoke of the girl.
"I do actually, and as long as she is in my house you may address her as Anna. I would prefer if you would make an effort to win her trust and learn more of her if you can. He paced closer.
"I need to believe that you can lay aside personally prejudice in this regard, Lady Bethriel. I am unsure of whether or not she should remain with us, or continue onto another Edain village. Or even live with Maehsos' mother, she has offered quite graciously to take her in."
"I hope you do not mistake me, my Lord, but are you sure it should even be a question of whether she goes or stays? Surely she could never be happy among us, and it may even be unwise." She stood and lifted her chin to meet his gaze.
His face was a blank mask as he studied her, and he said "The girl will stay with us at present. Whether she remains or goes is a matter for another day." He sighed a little and took the Lady's hand saying, "Bethriel, we have always been honest with each other have we not?"
"Of course Fingon." she answered.
"Then understand me when I say that I need your help, not your prejudice and self righteousness." His expression softened a little and he pleaded.
"I most need you to help me to care for her properly. If she should chose to stay with us, I would need someone to teach her the ways of our people."
At the words "should she chose to stay" the Lady caught her breath sharply and her eyes flashed a queer green light.
Than she composed herself. "You intend on giving her the choice to remain or leave? Surely she will stay since she can see only the good points of remaining. She knows nothing of what she loses by staying and for you, it would be selfish to hide it from her!"
Fingon had turned away and now looked up surprised at her words.
"Yes, My friend, selfish, you know she would never have the love of a husband or children, and she would also cause pain to all of us by her early death."
She walked to him a laid a hand gently on his tense arm her voice was careful and cautious as she spoke. "Of all the pain so many have already suffered, is it right to cause even more needlessly?"
He searched her face and saw the truth in her gaze, it was simply true and he could not deny it. He thought of the oath, the departure, and a vision of flaming ships filled his eyes. Than a frozen landscape with a small group stumbling across trying to reach the safety of Arda.
He shivered in the sunlight and realized he was gripping Lady Bethriel's hand in a tight grip. He released quickly and moved away muttering "Forgive me" as he went. She followed concerned. " Do the visions still plague you?"
"Yes, I cannot stop them, and I fear must live with it."
"You cannot want that for the girl, and all she may affect."
"It will be different, she is not a normal child I am sure of it. I will give her the choice. But before you speak, I will show to her what she will give up and what she will receive which ever way she will chose."
Bethriel knew what was going on in the mind of her prince. In this ay Fingon was once again trying to find a way to atone for the sins of the past. In this child he saw a way to redeem himself a little more.
And seeing that her Lord had made up his mind, she bowed her head in submission. The time to argue had come and gone. The decision lay with a girl of 15 years.
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Anna entered the same breakfast room that a few days ago had been the set of a happy scene. Now she felt as if the moment of her death sentencing had arrived, and she was going before the judge to hear her life signed away.
She thought back to the time two night ago when Fingon had told her what was going to happen. Her palms felt cold and clammy as she walked into the bright sunny chamber.
The room held only those with whom she was close, Fingon, Maehsos and a few of the maids who had cared for her. The only real stranger, Lady Bethriel. They sat in a half circle of chairs that faced the door, one lone chair was waiting for her. She came forward and waited for someone to speak. The tension of being looked at even by those you trust is hard to bear for a young girl.
"Anna, you know and understand why you were called here do you not?" asked Fingon quietly and gently.
"Yes" she answered very low.
"Do you understand that you have a free choice to stay or to find a home among your own people and race?" Maehsos said.
"I understand it clearly." she answered. She shifted slightly and fingered her sash before dropping it and folding her hands together.
"Do you see and understand that the way you chose today will be set for your life until your death how ever and where ever it may be?"
This from the Lady Bethriel. Anna swallowed a spoke her voice shaking a little. "I see and understand and agree such terms."
Maehsos spoke in a formal way, so unsuited to him that he seemed a stranger. "She has yet to chose; and I declare her unable to chose without the chance to know of what she rejects and what she receives."
"You speak truth, and the time has come for her to see the gifts that she may receive or reject." said Fingon. He held out his open palm to Anna, he nodded encouragingly to her. She noticed that even as she felt nervous about what was going to take place his hand was also shaking a bit.
She placed her own warm hand into his and felt the trembling still, it was the same cool hand she had held before.
Fingon turned her hand so that he could see the delicate web of veins across the back of it. He laid his other hand over it and asked "Are you afraid of what I will show you Anna?"
She looked into his clear grey eyes and felt calm." No, if you go slowly I think I'll be alright."
She stared down at their intertwined hands, and watched as he gently stroked the back of her hand. Than it was as if she no longer was in the close room of the castle. She stood in an open plain. The wind whipped across a wide plain and into a village, it was a village of Edain, her people. And as if in a dream she seemed to draw near to a single house.
A child played outside the house and a woman came to the door and called the child to her. The child ran up and threw its chubby arms around the woman's neck, and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. The woman looked up into Anna's eyes, and she saw it was herself, or what she would be in a few years.
The woman wasn't seeing Anna however, she was looking into the face of her husband who came to her and held her against him in a tender embrace. He bent and gathered the child into his arms, and putting a arm around his wife they disappeared into the house. The scene blurred, and she saw the same woman again this time surrendered by a group of friends and family that she mingled with and everyone had just seemed too happy for words.
Anna found herself feeling as though she was back at home with the cheerful confusion of family and friends. A lump came into her throat, and the moment came when a baby that looked just like Bramwell turned and smiled right at Anna. Than everything faded and she stood in a graveyard watching the woman and her family burying their father and husband. The children clustered around her and they wept together and shared the burden of grief.
She wept with them because every girl was one of her sisters, and the son, her brother Bramwell.
And she saw herself, old and gray-haired with the years. But surrounded by those who cared for her.
Suddenly she stood in a sunlit courtyard and saw a group of elves singing a laughing as they worked. They labored together and everyone was joyful as the gardens were tended and food prepared. In the midst of them a human girl worked and sang with them.
She followed them in all the work and pleasure and was the receiver of loving words and a affectionate glances. She also saw the girl watching a pair of young lovers in a wedding, only she stood on the fringes of the group. Her head was bowed in sorrowful submission to the fact that such a fate was not to be hers.
Only as the picture passed and seemed to age, only the girl's face showed the passage of years. It grew old and wrinkled and her hair whiten as her figure stooped and finally the image ended in the elves carrying the woman to a lonely grave. The elves buried her and mourned and faded away and went on with their lives. Yet they stopped once every year to lay fresh flowers on the grave and depart again.
Then she felt herself jerked through time and stood in the freezing landscape of a snowy wind swept land. No trees or shelter could be seen and her dress wrapped itself around her body the in the wind. She was freezing and no one could be seen., she was utterly alone.
Wait! Not totally for a figure came toward her and held out a pale hand. She grasped it frantically and held on in an icy death grip. Again the feeling of pulling through time and then she looked down and saw her hand tightly intertwined with Fingon's and she was once more in the castle surrounded by familiar faces, and in the warmth of spring.
She relaxed her hand, but Fingon cupped it in his own a sorrowful concern clouding his eyes. "Please Anna forgive me, I didn't mean for you to be lost in the wild of the Helcaraxë. It was a stray memory that I cannot control, are you all right?"
"Y..yes I think so. Was all of that what I saw what I would face in the future, the good and the bad of each choice?"
The Prince nodded and Lady Bethriel spoke "You have yet to chose, and now we may each advise you as to what we feel is the best course you may follow."
Maehsos spoke first and smiling said "Little Anna, I have been living in Arda, earth for a little longer than a hundred years and have seen much that makes my heartache. However I do not feel that, should you chose to remain with us, that it will cause any pain for anyone that we could not shoulder and gladly bear. However you would perhaps feel more joy in your own life if you went to your own people; and lived the kind of life you normally would. You would be with family and friends. I counsel you to go where you feel your greatest happiness lies."
Lady Bethriel went next in a flat unfeeling monotone "I believe that this is not a place where you will find any happiness in the long term. One day you will wish for a love and home of your own and you cannot hope to receive that kind of love from a elven man."
"You are Edain, and always will be, you will be living with creatures that are above you in everyway; and among whom you will be a stranger. I counsel you most strongly to return to your own people, and seek no home or happiness with the elves.".
Anna felt every blow of prejudice in the Lady's words and the contemptuous way in which she spoke of the Edain. Anna's chin rose, and she faced the woman without flinching even though her heart was thumping wildly against her side and tears threatened to break out. She would not cry for this woman, and let her gloat over the weakness of the men.
She turned instead to the Prince and saw that he looked away from her and the gaze of all concerned. His face was hard and unmoving and she felt for the first time a thrill of fear run through her. Would he send her away, did he want her to remain or go?
She cleared her throat and wished silently for a glass of water, her tongue felt thick and odd in her mouth.
"My Lord Fingon, do you have any counsel to give me?" she asked timidly. He faced her, every emotion seemed to vie for position, but his eyes…his eyes spoke volumes to her.
"I cannot say, for my heart will not allow me to give unbiased advise, chose then who you love best." he whispered.
She stood in the sunlight and pondered what she was about to do. She had the most difficult decision before that she had ever faced, and she must face it alone. She thought of all the visions that Fingon had shown her, the family and children that could be her own.
And she thought of the lonely life with no hope of husband or children and a lonely grave and death later on.
But his eyes, did Fingon need her? She remembered their clasped hands and going to Fingon she laid her hand in his and said, "I chose to stay and live my life, however short among the elves. I place all my fate and future in with their doom . Where they go, so will I go; and when I die, I die. I put myself under the rule and judgment of the Prince and beg he receive me as a faithful subject."
She knelt and bowed her head in submission, total and willing. He placed a hand on her head and addressed the other two in the room, bright tears of relief shone in his eyes.
"Here do I receive you, and call you my own, you will be my ward. And hence forth you shall be called Aeroniel for I drew you from the water. I will protect and guide you all the days of your life. Here are you elves witnesses to my pledge and oath to this girl, a daughter no more of the Edain, but the daughter of my adoption."
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Worlds passed, time went by; an age died while another was born in the minutes that ticked loudly from the doctor's wrist watch.
Ronald stared at the woman who calmly returned his gaze "It was you than." he finally said.
"Yes, it was me." Aeroniel answered " But Ronald, you already knew that."
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"Do you not miss your home Ann-Aeroniel?" Maehsos corrected himself. They were practicing, or rather supposed to be practicing their music for the day. Instead they spent most of their time talking. Maehsos in Westron, but Aeroniel had to reply in Quendi so her pronunciation would improve.
"Of course I do, but I try not to think about it too much because it's plain I can't get back And besides this is my home now, and so I won't go around crying for the old one. Now do I go up on this measure or is that you music?"
She busied herself squinting at the small type of the sheet music before her. She was trying to read the tiny notes that decorated the page.
"No, that's your part, now let's do it again I think your finally getting the hang of it." he encouraged.
He raised his flute to his lips and played the opening notes and nodded to her when her queue came to play. She plucked at the strings of the lute desperately and got lost some where along the way. The discordant notes made Maehsos wince slightly as he continued to play hoping Aeroniel would pick it up.
She paused and listened a bit and began again, this time however in the proper beat and rhythm with his flute. Her fingers remembered the chords she had worked on and soon they jumped to the correct position by themselves.
The sound of the flute soared and flew like the wind and light; while the lute filled the deep places that represented the earth. They finished with a flourish and breathed a satisfied sigh.
"I thought I would never get any of that, the beginning is still rocky but I know I can work on it." she began picking the chords out again, she smiled brightly.
"Slower Aeroniel, slower it is better to play it once through slowly and correctly then a million times and wrong." Maehsos commented. She slowed down and painstakingly worked on her fingering and the correct pressure of the strings. Little mistakes here and there were normal but they always made her stop and exclaim in frustration. Maehsos wordlessly took the instrument out of her hands and set it beside him.
"Why did you do that? I was just getting the hang if it!"
"No you weren't you were annoyed and ready to throw it through the window. That is not the purpose of music. Do you know how the world came into being?"
Aeroniel sighed wearily " Yes, it's been drummed into my head until I dream about it now! It was sung into being by the Ainur at the bidding of Eru."
"Correct, and so music is one of the most important gifts that were given to us by the Valar. It should be a thing of beauty and pleasure, not of frustration and distress." he looked out and said. "The day is fair enough, you may go out to the garden now if you wish."
"No, I mayn't, Lady Bethriel said that as soon as I finished with you I must go to her for deportment classes. I move too quickly and heavily, and must learn to move carefully and gracefully." Aeroniel spoke in a fair imitation of the great lady.
Maehsos tried to smother the smile tugging at his lips, but it wasn't working and when Aeroniel pranced around the room in the exaggerated walk of the lady in question, he burst out in merriment. The appearance of the Lady at the door ruined the moment in the terrible embarrassment Aeroniel felt as she faced her.
The worst thing about facing the lady was not, as one might think her anger, but the cold calm disapproval that emitted from her eyes as she looked at you. She never spoke harshly to Aeroniel or raised her voice, but her simple contempt was worse.
"Aeroniel come, your lesson is long over with Lord Maehsos and the time for you deportment lesson is now. Put your lute away and meet me in the gallery in few minutes time." She spoke low and unruffled.
With one last look around the room she was gone "Will I never have any sense? Honestly I could not have timed that any worse if I had tried." Aeroniel cried as she shamefacedly out her instrument into its case.
"You need to stop doing that kind of thing altogether Aeroniel, not simply do it when the lady is absent. For though she is hard on you she does do it for you good." Maehsos said smiling into his shoulder.
"I suppose never letting me outside is all for my good?"
"If you are always gone she cannot teach you anything can she?"
"No of course not, but..."
"There are no "buts" in this area Aeroniel. If you wish to learn to live as we do and work you need to follow the lady's rules. Fingon and I would be far too gentle to tame your stubborn spirit I fear." Maehsos pinched Aeroniel's cheek jokingly.
She swatted his hand away and smiling said "I'll try and like her for your sake and Prince Fingon's however don't ask me to like her."
"Fine, I won't, but I hope to see you learn to respect her position in this household. She the house keeper after all, and your foster mother in some ways."
Aeroniel said "She is the housekeeper okay, but not my foster mother in anyway. A foster mother actually cares about the child she is caring for and that makes a big difference."
And with that she left the room toting her lute. She ran to her room and left the case on her bed and went in search of the lady. Lady Bethriel was the most beautiful, yet cold hearted elven women Aeroniel had ever met. She had been distant in every way from the day that Fingon had adopted her except for being her teacher in every area that she thought Aeroniel needed help in.
The first day of deportment the Lady had made her pace the length of the gallery and watched her thump up and down and stumble over her own dress and feet countless times. Finally she made her stop and pointed out some of the things she was doing wrong.
"Your arms swing out too far as you stride, you are a young woman, not a bird in flight. Keep them close to your side and make the length of your stride shorter." The lady directed.
"Yes, that is the way, now as you do so, make sure your feet are pointed forward not jutting out to the sides. You need not walk as if you are a boat, you must learn that the way you walk shows if you are a lady or a common girl."
Oh! the orders were endless and she felt as if she would never get them all straight in her head. But even as she went through the memory of them she found herself walking in the delicate way the lady had shown her. " As if you were balancing a tray of priceless crystal on your head."
She sighed as the gallery came in view, and held her shoulders back further, and held her chin higher, as the Lady had instructed her. Hopefully this lesson would go better than the previous ones.
The Lady was embroidering in a little alcove in the gallery and said without looking up. "Your walk is becoming lighter and more gentle, excellent. You must have been working on it. That is quite good, and I am glad also to see you endeavoring to learn the music of our people so well."
"Thank you my lady, I love music and yes, I have been practicing on my walk."
"Very well than, go ahead and begin." she instructed as she put aside her embroidery hoop.
Aeroniel walked from the far end and back again and again in the most graceful way she could, trying to remember all the points of movement. The dim light sat upon the sills and didn't seem to have the heart to reach into the cool of the gallery. And so the familiar drill of each day went on. Everyday she ended in this gallery in lessons, and her spirits flagged.
An hour went by in the tedious round of orders.
"Shoulders back! Your letting them droop again!"
"Your chin is to be held at a perfect level, not jutting high to the ceiling."
As she walked she felt a kind of depression fall on her, the house was so dreary and gray today. If only she could be allowed out! However the evening came and pages were the only disturbance to light the lamps before the lady gathered her embroidery and said in a condescending tone.
"Excellent, we are finished for the day, you may go and have supper in the kitchen or if you choose you may dine with me in my chambers."
Aeroniel knew that she would never be able to eat under the eagle eye of the lady, she probably just wanted a chance to correct her dinner manners.
"No thank my Lady, I will go to the kitchen if you don't mind." was what she said.
"Just as you choose child, than go to bed. Your tired I can see. Good day."
She swept from the gallery and the gliding walk that Aeroniel fought to master was horribly easy for Lady Bethriel. She went to the window seat and curled up pressing her forehead against the glass. The grounds were quite and only the beacon lights lit the night sky.
Fingon had been gone for a month or more on a patrol of the land with his soldiers, so the time passed in a slow drag of days. She had her music lessons, but Lord Maehsos was steward and he had other more important responsibilities to look after. She sighed and her breath fogged the glass making the outside world a blurry black.
The kitchen was bright and cheery with the shining copper pots and gossipy air of the chatter from the maids and pages. In her corner where she had taken her supper Aeroniel watched them, she had made a mistake she was sure. This was not her world and these were not her people, but to leave would mean being thrust into a world of wandering strangers.
The village was breaking up and moving on to the west, searching, ever searching for the light that shone from thence. So the only humans were the rough, but noble men in the service of the prince, and they did not seem to notice her existence.
She went to bed early and in the cold little room that she called her own she buried her face in her pillow and cried for her home, her family and her desperate loneliness.