Disclaimer: Is it me or do you not have common sense?
dreamcaster555 - What did you say!? You said "is not allowed at You'll." What was between that?! Eek. I'm afraid.
mylifeismine – well, you did answer one question. But, yeah.
If I never knew you – suit yourself, dude! You're missing a great opportunity!
LoveLEErnie – you go take a nap! I like naps. Makes you tall… I think.
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Higaksjdf;ks;dfk ;lkj I'm lazy. HSM: AUDITIONS BABY!
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OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Okay! Welcome to the auditions! Here's-
DARBUS: (cuts off OH SHIZL GZNGAHR) And who made you the director of this auditon?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: I am, considering I am the authoress.
DARBUS: Well, I'm older than you!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: If I say that I'm the director, than I say that I'm the director!
DARBUS: Prove it!
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR has magically become the director of the auditions.)
DARBUS: That's lollygacks!
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR is mad.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: I can make you say whatever I want you to say!
DARBUS: Oh really?
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR is making DARBUS say something.)
DARBUS: (controlled by the script) I am an old hag and maybe you should all die because you suck.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Nyahhh!
DARBUS: I can't believe you made me say that!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Who cares!?
EVERYONE: (yells out annoyed) WE DO!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Oh… You're here?
EVERYONE: Yes!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Well, let's do this my way!
DARBUS: No! You are not the director!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: And you aren't either. You're the judge along with "So You Think You Can Dance" judge Nigel Lythgoe and "American Idol's" Simon Cowell!
(DARBUS finds herself magically poofing out and poofing back in on a chair next to NIGEL LYTHGOE and SIMON COWELL. She is somewhat flattered. But still annoyed.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Now. Let us begin with our auditions! (takes out a little paper and reads from it) You will each perform two talents: singing and dancing. Singing because you might get a part with singing and a;slkdjf;kjsdzj;kljfzsdf;ks. (rips the little paper and throws it at the back of the auditorium even though she's on the stage) Let's just say that you sing and dance something of your choice! A'IGHT?
(Takes out a clipboard and takes off her emo-looking glasses.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (calls out) Savvy the Kid!
(SAVVY THE KID runs onstage, clad in a pirate looking t-shirt. Because she loves pirates. So anyways, she stands center stage and looks at the judges with a big smile. AWWWWW!)
SAVVY THE KID: (speaks gruffly like a pirate) I will be singing "Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life For Me!" Okay!
(She then starts dancing to… nothing actually. She just sways and dances and she looks like a pirate.)
SAVVY THE KID: Yo, ho, yo, ho! A pirate's life for me!
We pillage we plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties yo ho!
(And by now, everybody is basically cowering in fear because of the lyrics. Some people are really afraid that they might be kidnapped. But some girls sigh because it's EVERY girl's dream to be kidnapped by a pirate! And then the pirate calls her love! But OH SHIZL GZNGAHR never really had that dream. And neither did millions of other girls.)
SAVVY THE KID: Hey! I'm trying to sing here!
(Oh. Well, SAVVY THE KID seems to be on the third verse because the whole dialogue before was as long as the second verse.)
SAVVY THE KID: Ahem. (starts singing) Yo, ho, yo, ho!
RANDOM GIRL: Oh, she did not just call me a ho!
RANDOM GAY GUY: Oh, I think she did, honey.
SAVVY THE KID: (screams in exasperation) DAH-BAH-YEW TEE EHF! I'M TRYING TO SING A DAMN SONG, YOU IDIOTS!
(Well, she seemed to skip to the last verse! But then poor SAVVY THE KID was stopped by SIMON.)
SIMON: Well, you seem to have a good voice. Just choose a better song because people are terribly intimidated.
SAVVY THE KID: Well, that's the song. Live with it!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: And what will you be dancing, Savs?
SAVVY THE KID: It's Savvy the Kid. Not Savs. What the heck kind of name IS Savs?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: A pretty one!
SAVVY THE KID: (ignores OH SHIZL GZNGAHR) I'll be dancing… the "MACARENA!"
NIGEL: No, you won't.
SAVVY THE KID: Yes, I will! Watch me, biscuit!
(And the… "Electric Slide" comes on.)
CSIMEL: (calls out angrily) HEY! THAT'S MY SONG!
SAVVY THE KID: (to OH SHIZL GZNGAHR) What the heck happened?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (to DUDE WHO'S RETARDED AND DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK A CD PLAYER) What the heck happened?
DUDE WHO'S RETARDED AND DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK A CD PLAYER: Uh, I don't know. I just pressed this button and this song came on!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Do you know how to read?
DUDE WHO'S RETARDED AND DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK A CD PLAYER: Yesh.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Are you blind?
SAVVY THE KID: (is mad) DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE MENTALLY RETARDED?!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Hey, calm down. The dude is only four years old.
SAVVY THE KID: FOUR YEARS OLD?!
DUDE WHO'S RETARDED AND DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK A CD PLAYER: (goes all monk like) In spirit, I am four years old. I'm really seventeen!
SAVVY THE KID: Four years old, my butt! Move!
(SAVVY THE KID went all pirate on DUDE WHO'S RETARDED AND DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK A CD PLAYER and changed the CD's. It was now her song playing, which was the "Macarena!" Yay! SAVVY THE KID went center stage and was smiling her biggest smile. She put… the wrong arm out… Her arm went the wrong way, she turned the wrong way, and she fell.)
NIGEL: You're like a person who never even saw dancing before. I'm sorry to say.
SAVVY THE KID: You should rot in Davy Jones's Locker!
(And with that, SAVVY THE KID ran off the stage muttering about a vendetta on NIGEL. Well, OH SHIZL GZNGAHR got onstage and was again reading from the clipboard.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (calls out) Venezuela Enrique Rashwala Yolanda Hannah Oleander Tiscuits?
(Let's abbreviate her name, shall we? VERY HOT ran up onstage. One person would say that after reading the name, you can say that the person was very hot. But in fact, she was quite opposite. Poor girl had braces and was slobbing all over the place.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (backs away subtly) So… what are you going to be singing?)
VERY HOT: (with a lisp) Oh. I'm not thinging! I'm lip-thynching!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (gulps) To what?
VERY HOT: Juthtin Timberlake'th new thong of courthe!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (wipes off spit and starts laughing) Wait… his what?
VERY HOT: Thong! You know, "Thexthy Back?"
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Uhm… okay. You go girl!
VERY HOT: Okay!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (mutters) and don't come back.
(VERY HOT was upstage facing away from the audience. And then "Sexy Back" was playing. She started moving her hips. And then she turned. And it was really ugly. She was lip-syncing and tried to dirty dance. She TRIED, TRIED, and really TRIED to do a pirouette, but she was hopping all over the place, had no control whatsoever, and her spit had the volume of a bucket so basically, most of the people in the audience got hit by her spit.)
RANDOM GIRL: Holy crap! My new shirt!
RANDOM GUY: My eye!
RANDOM GIRL: THIS SHIRT COSTS ME LIKE ONE HUNDRED BUCKS!
RANDOM GUY: MY EYE COSTS ME TWO THOUSAND BUCKS!
RANDOM SKATER: Why would you have an eye that costs two thousand bucks?
RANDOM DUDETTE: And why would you have a shirt that costs one hundred bucks? That's just utterly ridiculous!
NIGEL and SIMON: This is utterly ridiculous!
SIMON: Seeing that you were lip-syncing, I'd like to say that you obviously cannot sing.
NIGEL: I would like to say that you should stop watching music videos and get some lessons.
(And with that VERY HOT ran off the stage bawling her mouth out. Yes. She was crying from the mouth. Spit was falling like a waterfall. Her mouth was crying, not her eyes. OH SHIZL GZNGAHR came back on stage with a mop and clipboard. Multitasking, baby!)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (while mopping the stage) KARLI!
(KARLI came onstage and she clearly looked like a pacifist. Well, she did put in her review that the sky was on illusion and OH SHIZL GZNGAHR thought that had feeling in it and thinks that she was a peaceful person. So, KARLI is now a pacifist.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: And what will you be singing?
KARLI: "Best of Both Worlds!" It's just sooo… true to life for popstars!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Uhm. I don't think you will be singing that.
KARLI: And why is that?
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR pointed. KARLI looked to where she pointed and saw Hannah Montana haters.)
KARLI: Uhm…what song should I sing?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: "Sexy Back?"
KARLI: No! After VERY HOT, no!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Oh, come on! It's very smexy song!
KARLI: No!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Uhm… how about… uh…Ooh! "Ramalama Bang Bang!" You should totally sing that!
KARLI: What kind of song is that!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Another smexy song!
KARLI: Uh…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (takes out instant lyrics and gives it to KARLI) Here! These are the words!
KARLI: Who the heck is this by?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Roisin Murphy!
KARLI: Uh… What the juicy fruit?! "Stitch a seam across the eye?" That sounds painful!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Sure.
KARLI: "Unzip my body and take my heart out?" Eeeh!
(Without to KARLI's acknowledgment, OH SHIZL GZNGAHR slipped away and press the play button and so the music was playing. It sounded quite… voo doo ish. And then there was like a bunch of banging.)
KARLI: (hesitant) Could the body close the mind out?
Stitch a seam across the eye?
If you can be good, you'll live forever
If you're bad, you'll die when you die
Hearing only the one true note
On the one and only sound
Unzip my body
Take my heart out
'Cause I need a beat to give this tune
(And by now, some people were scared, some people were dancing, some people who knew this song were lip-syncing. This song is just too sexy. OH SHIZL GZNGAHR was bouncing along to the beat because she has musicology! And then she started to dance around like a monkey. And then the whole place become like a scene in Africa with the animals. People were screeching, roaring, monkeying around, it was like… watching Mean Girls all over again.)
KARLI: (starts to get into it) Ramalama Bang Bang!
Flash Bang Big Bang!
Bing Bong!
Ding Dong!
DUM DUM DO DUM DUM!
(DUDE WHO'S RETARDED AND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK A CD PLAYER was being a cheetah and was running around back stage and accidentally bumped into the CD player, making it skip all the way to the end. Most of the people did the silent scream because they fell madly in love with it.)
SIMON: Well, that was pretty amazing.
DARBUS: Amazing!? I thought it was horrid! Now I'll have nightmares about Michael Jackson's video with the zombies!
NIGEL: I remember this song. The top ten danced to this. Ah. Good song.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Hence, why I picked it! (turns to KARLI) And what will you be dancing?
KARLI: But, I can't dance!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Oh nonsense! Everybody can dance!
KARLI: But, what about Savvy the Kid!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: She had confidence that she can dance! Now just go and dance dammit!
KARLI: Why don't you dance?!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Because I'm the director and because I'm sore! My calves and my thighs hurt!
KARLI: What the heck should I dance!?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Do you know "Todo Todo?"
KARLI: No.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: "Chilly Cha Cha?"
KARLI: No…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: "September?"
KARLI: No!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Please tell me you know "Cotton Eyed Joe…"
KARLI: I know that! My friends and I dance to that all the time!
(Well, that's not a true fact. OH SHIZL GZNGAHR does not really know what KARLI dances to and if she dances to the song all the time with her friends.)
KARLI: Well, you're the author. Make yourself know that I do it all the time with my friends!
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR knows that KARLI does the "Cotton Eyed Joe" dance all the time with her friends.)
KARLI: And front! And back and front back and side and kick up!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Isn't that "September?"
KARLI: Your mom.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Tu madre.
KARLI: Uhm…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: HAH! You don't know any language!
NIGEL: Okay. Thank you for trying.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: You two Brits! DISAPPEAR!
(And NIGEL and SIMON disappeared.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Yeah… Just leave. We just wasted time.
KARLI: …
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Have my twenty bucks!
(OH SHIZL GZNGZNGAHR sadly gives away her twenty bucks to KARLI, who takes it happily. They stare at each other until KARLI starts dancing.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (roars) DON'T ENCOURAGE IT!
(And with that, the girl ran away. OH SHIZL GZNGAHR roars and rips her wig off. Well, imaginary. It doesn't exist. What the hell. Mother crackers.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Who the frick is next? WHAT THE FRIDGEEEEES? OK Go?! No way…
OK GO: Yes way!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: As much as I like your dances, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE ILLEGAL IN THIS HIGH SCHOOL! YOU OOOOOOOOLD!
OK GO: Not that old.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: How come all of you are speaking together?
OK GO: That's because you don't know our names.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Of course… WELL GET THE FRICK OUT OF HERE, YOU BOZOS! OR ELSE I'LL BE LIKE "JUGGERNAUT, BISCUIT!"
OK GO: …
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Bring the boot!
RANDOM STAGE CREW: Get the boot!
(A huge boot is brought out and kicks OK GO out of the high school magically.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Man. Now I have to open a new window and look at the reviews. I should remember these things. Garrrgh.
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR opens a new window anaskdfja;klsdjf;lzdxvuyhwnefrkjasdf. You know how to look at your reviews. Otherwise, you suck. Well, wahasdflkdj;flzdvndfv. DDASDADFVZKJSDFL. I hate life? SIMMS! KAJSD;FLD;VNKLDSFV.)
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We're sorry for the terrible intrusion. After OH SHIZL GZNGAHR gets back to normal, she will continue on with the story. It's 11:48 PM. The story must go on! Isn't that from a movie? Instead it's "The show must go on?" What the heck? Play sudoku. Do something. Go on youtube and watch your mom dying her hair. HAH! Aw, what the hell.
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OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: I'm tired.
TROY: What the hell? You just started this like in the summer and it's like September already.
TAYLOR: Yeah!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Shut up! You're old, Monique.
TAYLOR: Who the heck is Monique?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Oooh. I forgot. You don't know her. (turns around and shouts) MONIQUE!
MONIQUE: Yeah?
(MONIQUE and TAYLOR look at each other.)
TAYLOR: This is freaky.
MONIQUE: I happen to see myself on television all the time, you know.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Anyways, you're like twenty-six years old. And you don't look twenty-one. You're like Kristen Bell. Except she looks older than you. FREEZE!
MONIQUE: Uhm…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: You know… Instead of burn? And good luck with that "Dancing With the Stars." I didn't see you dance but… OH WELL!
GABRIELLA: I can dance!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: I just saw your video today?
GABRIELLA: Video?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: DAMMIT! (turns around and shouts) VANESSA!
(VANESSA comes around.)
VANESSA: Yo, pappi's.
TROY: You're hot.
VANESSA: What?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Yeah, I just saw your video.
VANESSA: Get with the program! You're slowing the story down!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Bah. Hum. Freaking. Bug.
VANESSA: It's not Christmas.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Well, I'm practicing! It IS coming, you know? STUPID!
VANESSA: What'chu call me?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: I'd like to see you beat me up!
VANESSA: Oh hell yeah, I will!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: But I'm the freaking Juggernaut, biscuit!
VANESSA: And I'm Oogie Boogie.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Dammit! ICICLE! GET YOUR FREAKING ICEY BUTT OVER HERE THIS FREAKING INSTANT!
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR hears ice cream truck.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Iggy! Freaking ice cream! Hell yeah!
(She whacks VANESSA with her clipboard in the nose. VANESSA becomes unconscious and OH SHIZL GZNGAHR drops the clipboard and runs outside. MONIQUE picks up the board but then…)
SHNITZI: Oh hell no!
(MONIQUE is booted by the boot and becomes unconscious in arm. SHNITZI takes the clipboard and hands it back to OH SHIZL GZNGAHR who came back from the ice cream truck.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Hell yeah! Freaking Shots! This shiz is good, dammit.
SHNITZI: Dude…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Right-o! Icicle?
ICICLE: …WHAT?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Why are you in caps-lock?
ICICLE: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: A'ight, man. So, uhm… Britney Spears, eh?
ICICLE: Yesh.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: What the heck is "Boys?"
ICICLE: A song by Britney Spears.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: I have never heard that song.
ICICLE: Well, too bad! I'm singing it!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: What if I made you sing "Girls?"
ICICLE: That's a song?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: HAH! I made you think it's a song!
ICICLE: What the haskdfj;akldf?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Dawww… Whatever. Go sing your song.
ICICLE: (sings) For whatever reason,
I feel like I've been wanting you all my life!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Okay! That's enough!
ICICLE: Tch. Why?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Fine! Make the little children cry!
ICICLE: There are no children…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Fine! Do what you want! You made me cry!
ICICLE: You don't look like it.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: That's because my tears are invincible!
ICICLE: Don't you mean invisible?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: JUST SING!
ICICLE: (sings) What would it take for you to just leave with me?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: And what will you be dancing?
ICICLE: But…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: You didn't finish. I know. But don't you think that song… a little bit over PG?
ICICLE: Uh…
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: This is freaking Disney!
ICICLE: I like Disney.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Me, too! I love The Lion King!
ICICLE: Omigosh! Me, too! And he was like, "MUFASA!"
(And the two of the started laughing while everybody is just like, "wtf.")
EVERYBODY: (shouts) SHOW US THE DAMN DANCE!
ICICLE: YO! STOP PMSING!
EVERYBODY: But we're guys!
ICICLE: What?
EVERYBODY: Your mom!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Yeah. Just show us the dance.
(And that… music… comes on… It's like… "Duhn… Dohn… Dohn… Dohn… Duhn duhn!" It gets higher every time or something. And then ICICLE turns around and does the running man! And somehow, is moving offstage…)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Ookay… Uhm… EVAN!
EVAN: It's freaking Eve-on! What the hell!? I even told you in my review!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Whoa… calm down there…
EVAN: But you can call me Evie for short!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: That name reminds me of… Uhm… No… What… That's Edie… I think…
EVIE: Whatever.
EVAN: Who are you?
EVIE: I'm you.
EVAN: Who?
EVIE: You.
EVAN: You?
EVIE: No! You!
EVAN: Me?
EVIE: Yesh!
EVAN: No, way!
EVIE: Totally!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: This has got to stop. Well, just do your dance thing. Oh crap. I lost the window. Now I have to find it again.
EVIE: Not only do you suck at Sims…
EVAN: But you suck at life!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: If I suck at life… Then how come you're all still living?
(Silence pursues the audience. And then is broken with a cough.)
EVIE: That was the corniest joke I have ever heard.
EVAN: I concur.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: At least I'm not like the person who came up with Cody and Rebecca.
EVAN: Who?
EVIE: Remember in one of the chapters? She was telling the readers and Troy and Gabriella that her friend made it up.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: He's not my friend!
EVIE: Fine. Your acquaintance.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Actually, I don't really want to be acquainted to him. He's the one that comes up with the worse jokes ever. Like if you're against the wall, he'll say, "Ooh. Getting a little close with that wall."
EVAN: Right. Look I'm going to sing.
EVIE: I'm singing with you!
EVAN: No, you're not.
EVIE: What?
EVAN: Go away, my alter-ego.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Hey! This reminds me of Heroes! The mom in Las Vegas or something.
EVAN: Omigosh! I love the cheerleader!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: So do I! It's so awesome because she never DIES!
EVIE: Huh?
EVAN: I said go away.
EVIE: Well, I can't. You are looking at your reflection.
(Everyone now seems to notice random mirror on the stage.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Who the hell put a mirror? I remember specifically not to put any mirrors here! We're all going to die if someone cracks a mirror!
EVIE: Dude… It's the mirror from Harry Potter.
EVAN: Oh! That mirror that shows what you want?
EVIE: Yeah! So, I'm guessing that you want an alter-ego?
EVAN: Yeah, but one that doesn't exist.
EVIE: Yes, you do. I'm still here.
SHNITZI: Shut the hell up, you two, and start performing.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Good girl, Shnitzi!
EVAN: Who the heck is Shnitzi?
SHNITZI: I'm her apprentice. Who else?
EVIE: Gay.
SHNITZI: PERFORM, DAMMIT!
EVAN: What was I performing again?
SHNITZI: Oh shizl gzngahr! She does not know!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: What do you mean she doesn't know?
SHNITZI: She doesn't know!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Dammit! Now I have to go look!
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OH SHIZL GZNGAHR goes to the… ACCOUNT LAIR!
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OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: It says… What the heck happened to Amanduh?
EVAN: I changed it. DUH!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: It's weird. 'Cause every time I put your name in my fic, it always changes. You're so odd. It's so cool.
EVAN: Totally. Anyways…
(EVAN reads the review.)
EVAN: Yeah… To make life easier, I'll sing AND dance, "Jump On It!"
(A duck quacks.)
DARBUS: (angry) Was that a cell phone?
KELSI: No ma'am. It was Donald.
EVAN: Idiot! It was Daffy!
KELSI: NOOOO! He's white!
EVAN: R-tard! Can't you see he's black!
KELSI: HE'S WHITE!
EVAN: HE'S BLACK! MY GOSH!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: What is this? A racist issue?
KELSI: Uh…
EVAN: Oh… I just realized Kelsi just came into the fic. Wowowowowowowowowowowow.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: And 'sides, it's neither Donald nor Daffy. It's a Psyduck.
EVAN: What?
KELSI: It's the Pokemon, loser.
EVAN: But it quacked! It did not say Psyduck!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Can't you see it's yellow and it has its hands to its head?
(KELSI and EVAN look at the PSYDUCK.)
PSYDUCK: I'm really a psychologist.
KELSI: But… dude. You like… suck.
PSYDUCK: Noooo! The Psyduck that Misty has sucks! I can't believe I'm his 2847th cousin!
EVAN: You are?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Obviously. They look so much alike.
EVAN: Anyways… DUHN! DOHN, DOHN, DOHN, DUHN, DUHN, JUMP ON IT! JUMP ON IT! JUMP ON IT! JUMP ON IT!
(EVAN movies her hips either front, back, or to the sides. OH SHIZL GZNGAHR has no clue which way it goes first. And then EVAN starts twirling and crashes to the horse.)
RANDOM: COUGHCAMELCOUGH!
(And crashes to the coughcamelcough.)
RANDOM: IT'S JUST CAMEL!
(To the camel.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: So…Alexandra?
ALEXANDRA: Ready to perform!
(OH SHIZL GZNGAHR reads the review. And is silent.)
ALEXANDRA: Oh shizl gzngahr?
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Not to be mean… but… LOOK! ZAC EFRON AND DANIEL RADCLIFFE!
ALEXANDRA: …
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Huh?
ALEXANDRA: Dude… I'm one of those evil smart people.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: Oh. I'm one of those stupid smart people. I want to be evil smart!
ALEXANDRA: Too bad. ANYWAYS! I'll do "Bop to the Top!"
EVIE: Gasp! You stole Lucas and Ashley's song!
VERONICA MARS AND TSL FANS: KELLY AND MADDIE!
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: (sighs and shakes head) Idiots these days.
(Long pause.)
(Another long pause.)
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: It's already November! Omigosh! And at the beginning it says like September!
EVIE: You mean in the middle.
OH SHIZL GZNGAHR: ;AKSDF;ALKSJ;DFLKJAD;F!
EVIE: Uhm… I think this chapter just ended because Oh shizl gzngahr just dropped to the floor… Sucking… a…
(pause)
EVIE: Lollipop?! Where'd you get that?
(Everybody starts to sing that Barbie commercial song.)
RANDOM READER: Omigosh. I thought Evie was going to say the other thing.
EVIE: You disgusting pervert!
-------------------
Actually, I don't have a lollipop.