Disclaimer: If I owned Final Fantasy VII, this fanfiction wouldn't be possible. Thank you, Square-Enix.

Notes: Look! I did something constructive. Aren't you proud of me?

Aerithism

Nine: Normal Day II

Yoshoko blinked at the head priestess. "You want me to clean the toilets… The toilets that have not been cleaned in two years…"

"Yes…" The grey haired woman smirked. "That is your punishment for having a weapon in your quarters."

Someone will die for this. "I didn't have a weapon! I've been framed!"

The elderly woman shook her head. "Using slang in a temple? What would the Maiden think?" That anything I say is better than the what comes outta Cid's mouth? "It is shameful... Now, you will have to clean the chocobo stables."

Why the hell does a temple have chocobos? That makes no sense… "… Yes, Ma'm… I will get started right away." As she left the main room, a smile broke across the brunette's face. I've missed stealing things…

She turned down the winding hallways, eventually reaching a golden door. Placing both hands on the covered wood, she pushed it open a crack. Sunlight spilled into the hallway, as the miko exited.

She walked down the marble steps and onto a stone path. She continued for a few paces before reaching a wooden shelter. She opened the small gate and examined the birds that pecked at their stalls. "Too skinny… Not a gold chocobo… Too small… That one's just evil… Ah, perfect!"

Yoshoko placed her hands on her hips and smiled at the bird. A plaque beside the golden bird read, 'Choco.'

The would-be ninja lifted the latch on the bird's stall and took hold of the straps about its neck. "You and me, Choco, are gonna go on a little trip, okay?"

She leapt onto the bird's back, and kicked its sides. Choco bolted out of the wooden stable and galloped through Wutai.

Meanwhile, Yoshoko was too distracted with her own screaming to note the chocobo's direction. "OHMYGOD!I'MGONNADIE!"

Heiress laughed at the Forgotten City's collection of statues. Cloud was wearing an elegant (presumably violet silk) dress and a wig. His name was also written as 'Claudia' for some reason. On the same pedestal, Zack seemed to be looking either drunk or in love…

A nearby one had a somewhat less brooding Vincent holding Yuffie in his arms. That's just wrong… Vincent wasn't that much of a pedophile.

And then there was 'The Maiden and the Demon.' Sephiroth had been turned from god-wannabe to some kind of cross between a reptile and a blind pigeon. "Azrael, this may be the only statue of Sephiroth and it's—"

The silver-haired girl crossed her arms. "—Don't even continue that thought… Besides, I'm still godlier than you; I know the secret of the universe."

The brunette scoffed at the girl beside her. Sarcastically, she asked, "Oh, Great Azrael, what pray tell is the secret of the universe?"

Rolling green eyes, Azrael shook her head. "… There's a man named Nomura—"

Azrael's father ran forward, glaring at the Cetra. "Azrael, I caught the living room on fire!"

"Not again… Ugh, I'll go deal with it." The silver-haired girl ran towards the home before stopping to look at the pair. "AND NO KILLING!"

Cirrus groaned at his reflection in the mirror. His hair lay flat against his face except for the tips that curled. "Why would a religion ban hair products? It makes no sense… And this damn skirt isn't helping matters… Guess I just have to deal with it."

Shrugging his shoulders, he left the miniscule bathroom and stopped in the kitchen. Smiling at his parents, he hugged his mother and left the tiny Nibelheim home. Leaning against a gate was a blonde girl in a pair of—slutty—red overalls. How overalls could be slutty, I don't know, but she still manages to do it!

"Come on Cirrus! You want to hear the devil's scream, don't ya?" She ran up the winding path into the Nibelheim mountains.

Holding his skirt down to stop it raising against the blowing wind, Cirrus pouted as he followed his friend. I wonder how many people fall for this stupid legend?

Sure I killed Sephiroth here, but I killed him lots of places… Why would his 'spirit' be tied to these mountains?

His companion stopped at a cliff, and kneeled down. She had her hand over one ear. Cirrus rolled his eyes before joining her. This is so stupid… Why'd I let her talk me into this?

"getmeoffthis#$'nrock…"

Funny… I suddenly feel like I forgot something…Cirrus looked down as he heard his stomach growl. "Oh, yeah… I forgot to eat breakfast."

Feel free to write a review. Or flame me, whatever.

For those wondering what the secret of the universe is, let's have Sephiroth continue his sentence: "There's a man named Nomura who controls everything we do… He's the reason why I always come back from the dead (for no apparent reason) only to beaten by a mental disturbed Chocobo-head."

Father figurine for Selunchen123, Amimegustamuchascosas, Wolven Falls lilalou, Spanner, and Great redwrym for reviewing. And bunny points to anyone who got that last joke.