L'amour

Summary: The new student at South Park High is strangely familiar…
Fandom: South Park
Pairings: Christophe/Kyle, Stan/Wendy, Damien/Pip, Kenny/Various (He's such a slut)
Warnings: Slash, bad language
Disclaimer: I'd sell my soul to own them (Especially Christophe – damn that sexy French accent!). However, since no-one seems to want to buy my soul, I'll settle for slashing them. I do own Michelle and Caroline.
Author's Note: When your muse deserts you, turn to real life for inspiration. The Fire Alarm Incident really happened at my school, and we had about twelve within a week. The guys who did it was nearly expelled when they caught him.


Me:- Thank you to my wonderful reviewers. I love you all
Tweek:- All these people telling us to update, man! Gah! Way too much pressure!

Chapter 4 – L'Incident De Signal D'Incendie

"C'mon," Stan said wearily, "Bell's about to go – we'd better get to class." Reluctantly, the others got ready to leave. A bell rang shrilly in the distance…and kept on ringing.
"A fire alarm?" Wendy frowned.
"Sweet," Cartman grinned, high-five-ing Kenny.

Chattering excitedly, the student body made its way en masse to the car park as the fire alarms continued wailing. People took the opportunity to talk to their friends for a while longer, and bitch about how cold it was. At least it wasn't raining like the day before.

"Is that Bebe?" Kyle said, peering over the sea of heads; "She looks like she's been crying."
"What?" Wendy stood on tiptoe to see, and a look of worry passed over her face; "I'd better go see what's wrong." She slipped between two laughing sophomore girls and disappeared.
"Didn't you go out with Bebe?" Stan asked Kenny. Kenny nodded.
"Yeah, last month…before Michelle."
"Come on," Cartman snorted, "Name me five people in the school Kenny hasn't gone out with."
"Point taken," Kenny said cheerfully.
"I'm serious – pick any random person, and odds on they're one of Kenny's exes."

"Alright," Stan said, looking around the crowd and picking people out, "Red?"
"Yeah."
"Butters?"
Embarrassed cough: "Yeah."
"Damien?"
"Uh…kind of. Long story."
"Timmy?"
"Sick, dude! Hell no!"

"Seriously, though," Kyle broke in, "Apart from that, is there anyone out here you wouldn't do?"
"Freshers," Kenny said, "I'm not a total sicko. And probably not any of you guys – too awkward after, y'know?"
"Cartman, you look disappointed," Stan smirked.
"Dude," Cartman said, a pained expression on his face; "I'm the only straight one here. I mean, everyone knows about Kenny…and you'd be all over Jew-boy if your little girlfriend wouldn't kick your ass."
"Shut up fat boy!" Stan snapped, punching him on the arm. He looked around for support, but Kenny and Kyle were both laughing.
"Don't know why you're laughing," Cartman glowered at Kyle; "You're gayer than the rest of them put together."
"You wish," Kyle replied slyly, blowing him a kiss. Cartman looked murderous as Kenny and Stan howled with laughter.

"Ah, I've had enough of this faggot-fest. Screw you guys, I'm going home…" Of course, he wasn't really. But it was something of a catchphrase of his, and changing it would be unthinkable. So he wandered off to talk to Craig and Clyde.

It was at that moment Wendy reappeared. She grabbed Kenny and hissed; 'we need to talk' in his ear. He shrugged at the others and followed her away. Kyle and Stan stood in silence for a while before deciding to circulate. They wandered around, greeting assorted people in passing.

"'Ello, cheri." Christophe had taken the opportunity to light another cigarette, the smoke drifting a little in the light breeze.
"Hey," Kyle said casually, fighting the overpowering urge to blush or run away. By some feat of inhuman self control, he kept up the lazy amble he had previously been moving at. It wasn't until they had moved on a bit that he realised Stan was looking at him strangely.

"What?"
"Do you have a crush on him or something, man?"
"No!"
"It's not like it matters if you do," Stan shrugged, "Nobody cares. Damien and Pip don't get any hassle."
"Dude, that's cause everyone knows Damien would kill them. Literally."
"So?"

Kyle glared at his shoes, silently cursing the world in general. He had almost managed to convince himself he was normal when Christophe 'ze Mole' DeLorne had waltzed back into his life.

"WHAT!"

Everyone within twenty yards turned at the horrified cry, and saw Wendy talking very fast to Kenny, who had turned white as a sheet. Kyle and Stan exchanged puzzled glances, and elbowed their way through the crowd.

"C'mon, friends coming through."
"Hey Kenny, what's wrong?"

Kenny looked appealingly at Wendy, who shook her head. He shrugged helplessly at his friends and began gnawing on his knuckle, which he always did when he was nervous. Stan's eyes darted suspiciously between the two of them; Kyle and Wendy rolled their eyes in unison.

Apparently the fire had been a false alarm, so they filed grudgingly back inside for their next class. However, they had barely got back inside when it went off again. Delighted that they were missing more of their school-time, the chattering mass of students ambled happily back outside. The teachers, on the other hand, were less than pleased. They hurried about, questioning people apparently at random. Of course, everyone pleaded ignorance regardless of whether or not they knew anything, so it really was a waste of time.

"Damn, it's cold out here," Kyle muttered, shivering - he'd left his jacket inside. He smiled gratefully as Stan slung an arm around his shoulders.
Kenny sniggered; "You are such a closet case, Marsh."
"Shut up, Kenny."
"No chance."
"What did Wendy want to talk to you about?" Kyle asked curiously. As he had thought, Kenny instantly shut up.
"I'm going to talk to Cartman," he muttered and turned away, elbowing his way through the crowd. Stan and Kyle stood in silence for a while.
"He's never gonna tell us," Stan said.
"Let's go ask Wendy, then."

It took them a while to find Wendy, finally running across her completely by accident on their way back inside after the all-clear was given. They stepped into a side-corridor, out of the rush of people.

"What was it you told Kenny?" Stan said, cutting across any pleasantries.
Wendy bit her lip; "I don't think I should tell you."
"Come on," Kyle said, "We're his friends, and it's obviously really bothering him." There was a moment of silence.
"Okay," she said eventually; "But you have to swear you won't tell anyone."
"We swear," Kyle said. He elbowed Stan; "Don't we, Stan?"
"What? Oh…yeah. We swear."
"Okay," Wendy, about to impart the momentous news, took a deep breath:

"Bebe's pregnant…and Kenny's the father."

L'Incident de Signal D'Incendie - The fire alarm incident

So now the fic takes a soap-opera turn. I couldn't tell you why, so I'll invoke the tried and true excuse: It Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time. Bear in mind that reviews are the only payment I get for my hard work, so if you read without reviewing, you're nothing more than a thief! I was a little dubious about posting this one...was it okay?