Disclaimer: I do not own The Da Vinci Code or any character from the story; it all belongs to Dan Brown. The song featured in this short story is "Anywhere" by Evanescence. This story is done for fun, not for profit.

Author's Note: You can comment if you'd like, no flames please… constructive criticism always welcome.

Beginning To Heal

Silas sat down on the bed, his head in his hands. The blood trickling down his back, cutting down through the creases of his skin, creating rivers of his pain….the blood manifested to the world the suffering his pain caused him, but above all they showed his devout devotion to God.

Pain.

Oh, the pain felt so good. It was beyond the pleasure of lust and the physical aspects of life. To him the torture of the human soul brought more pleasure to him than any warm, succulent flesh of a woman could. Just feeling the wounds open up and hearing the whimpers and cries of desperation come one after another helped him understand how meaningless human fortunes were. None could withstand our fragility and weaknesses. God would always punish those he deemed unworthy of His presence.

Life was pain, God made life, so pain was good.

But, now, as he lay naked on the floor, he heard her breathing. It was as a song, one of the nightingales, calling her lover from his destruction, and bringing him towards truth rather than falsehood. Lord almighty, how he loved that sound. Any simple sound from her brought shivers running through his body and down into his very soul. The day she took him into her house, he could not get enough of her. She cleaned him, fed him, sang to him, and caressed his face when nightmares awoke him from the terrors of his sleep. There was no denying to himself that he wanted her, and the first night he thought of her like that, he found his cilice, and chastised himself before the Lord for his sinful thoughts. The pain he felt from his cilice was even worse the next day when she found out what he done. She sobbed on his wound and begged him to never do it again….and he just gazed into her eyes and felt a sharp pain stab through his body…and he promised. She touched his wounds and parts of him he never showed to any woman before…and he cried. The pain he realized was not form his cilice, but from his soul.

Her pain caused him pain and he never wanted to be her cause of pain again.

But, he had failed her.

Now, the same pain was coming through to him again. He saw her look at him through the door, her eyes now awakened to the horror that lay bleeding in front of her…

…and he cried, "I'm Sorry. Oh God, save your servant, deliver him, please!"

"Oh Silas, Silas! He has already delivered you! There is no need to punish yourself anymore! God would want his people to have peace, not pain."

"But the Bishop…"

"But, the Bishop was wrong," she reprimanded, "Jesus sacrificed himself so that we may know heaven and God and peace…not the hell you are living in. No, Jesus wanted to save us from all that He suffered on the cross. He forgives you Silas, He always forgives, and now there is only one thing left for you to do."

"What is that?"

"It is time for you to forgive yourself….let yourself heal."

Just as the words left her mouth she leaned down and kissed him, full and ripe on his lips. Their hands entwined and as they broke apart, she sang to him,

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

And with her tears cleaning his face, he kissed her back.

He was beginning to heal.