Summary: Because every girl should have her guilty pleasure. Presenting for the first time in history...Rory/Tristan/Dean/Jess/Logan! Tada!
A/N: Complete nonsense. That's all I have to say.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't hurt me.
Hallelujah, It's Raining Men!
"Mary." a familiar voice purred at her ear, and she whirled around, face to face with who else but Tristin DuGrey, who was gazing at her with a predatory gleam in his cool blue eyes. "It's been too long."
"Not long enough." was the sarcastic retort, even as she felt her stomache flutter. What the hell is wrong with me? she thought disgustedly. How can I still be attracted to that sleazy, womanizing jerk?
Without warning, he suddenly pressed his lips hungrily upon hers, crushing her close against him. Her protest was muffled against his mouth, and the furious retorts that she planned on using were utterly lost in the delicious sensation of his hands, which were sliding down her back and...suddenly, he pulled away, leaving her flushed and breathless.
"Mmrph!" she protested, unable to help herself.
"Mmrph?" he smirked. "Nice to see how your vocabulary's improved, Mary."
Out of nowhere, Dean materialized, completely enraged, nostrils flaring wildly, attired in a flannel lumberjack-esque shirt.
"Rory. Mine." he grunted. Flailing his arms, he prepared to pulverize Tristan.
"Look, over there!" Tristan pointed in a far off direction. "I don't believe it! I think I see...could it be? Dean, quick- it's Joe Louis!"
Dean stared blankly in the direction Tristan was pointing. Slowly, an eager expression formed on his face and he bumbled off, grabbing a scrap of paper and a pen, Tristan completely forgotten.
"Joe Louis is dead." Rory commented quietly.
Tristan grinned wolfishly. "He'll be gone for a while." he said suggestively, leering at her. "It's just you and me now, Mary..."
"Tristan, we shouldn't." she started, and he began to langorously kiss her neck.
"Oh, what the hell." she muttered, and began tothoroughly make out with him with unbrindled enthusiasm, sanity flying straight out the window. Tristan, henceforth referred to as the Delicious Seducer in her mind instead of Devil Spawn, proceeded by backing her into the table-the only inanimate object in the room-and pushed her on top of it. He had only managed to scramble on top of her (very seductively, mind you) when he was abruptly pushed off, leaving him in a heap on the floor, lint bespeckling his favourite Abercrombie sweater.
"Who said blondes had more fun?" said a low voice, and Rory looked up to see Jess, smiling coolly and smelling faintly of cigarettes. He was, naturally, wearing his lust-worthy leather jacket in the heat of August, and Rory's heart began to pound. It was like James Dean re-incarnated. It was Keg! Mex! all over again, and this time, Rory was not at all inclined to stop him.
"Tristin, how are you holding up down there?" she asked breezily, as Jess aka the Smooth Operator, began to unfasten her belt on top of the table, kissing her all the while.
"Pretty good, thanks." he said nonchalantly. "I've got a pretty good view from here. But, tell him not to take to long, will you? I didn't get to finish my turn yet."
Rory didn't bother to question the insanity of the situation, as a low, guttural moan erupted from Jess. The leather jacket was coming off, now.
"Oh, god, Hemingway." the dark haired sex god uttered. "Rand. Dickens. Kipling. BrontePoeWolfeMurphyTwainVoltaireLocke...HAWTHORNE!"
"Oh, please." a voice scoffed from the doorway. "I can do better than that."
All three turned around to see Logan Huntzberger, leaning against the frame of the door, resplendent in an Armani suit. "Ace, these kids have nothing on me."
"But Logan..." she whined. "I'm so used to you...I want a change for once, and they adore me!"
"We love you, Rory!" chorused Jess and Tristin together.
"See?" she pouted.
"Oh, c'mon, Ace." he pleaded. "I don't want to miss out on all the fun!"
BAM...BAM! The building shook, and a tile fell from the ceiling.
"Oh." Jess said unconcernedly. "Dean's here."
Dean lumbered in, his boot-encased feet crushing the ground with each step he took, eyes menacing.
Then, he unexpected began to bawl.
"Want...Rory..." he sobbed. "Me want my turn!"
"Don't worry." Rory said soothingly to her four adoring slaves. "You'll all get your turn..."
"Rory!" they chanted.
"Rory!"
"Rory!"
"RORY!"
"RORY!" her husband yelled in her ear. "Get up!"
Rory woke up with a start, and hit Logan with a pillow.
Hurt and bewildered, he left her, rubbing the sore spot on his head.
"What did she mean, that I was ruining the best moment of her life?"
Fin
A/N: (grins wickedly) I was bursting to get that out. Now, everyone here knows reviews are love, right? Thank you thank you, darling.