Well kthanx for all the reveiws. This chapter starts humor, a few introductions, and a rather crude Deku Tree joke...Heh heh.
But He Has the Eternal Stick Up His Ass!
When Jamie finally got ahold herself, she heard some mixed and descrete voices through the door (Or hanging thingy to be percise.), and rushed to her bed, and pulled the covers over herself.
"Why do they have to come? It's my job not their's!" A midget boy said stomping into the room glaring out the door.
"Link," said a girl with wicked green hair, "It's a mystery,"she said in a rather paranoid voice, "They're magic." she said with wide eyes.
Jamie couldn't help but snort at this girl's stupidness.
The girl and Link looked around in alarm. Then shrugged it off.
"Look, the Deku Tree needs you!" said an annoying tinkling voice emitting from a blue orb, "So wake the to lazy girls up!"
Jamie knew that annoying ass voice from anywhere.
(A/N: Tch! Who doesn't?)
It was Navi from Zelda! Then it hit her like am obese woman falling off a bike; she was in the Zelda game.
"Uhhh..." Link started nervously as he walked over and began to poke Jamie, "Wake up?"
Jamie smacked him out of instinct and Link jumped back.
"Don't fucking poke me..." Jamie grumbled, doing a perfect imitation on how she was when she woke up.
Saria, Link, and Navi sweatdropped.
Jamie crawled out of bed and smoothed her dress down.
I hate fucking green and dresses...she grumbled in her thoughts.
Then Saria walked over to Erica on the other bed and woke her up. When Erica woke up she didn't freak out-
(A/N: Erica's weird like that...)
On the contary, she could careless, when she saw Jamie...till she saw the mirror.
-Insert yelling, smashing, pissed off Erica-
"-WHAT THE FUCK! GREEN! WHO THE-"
Jamie winced, and Link and Saria stared on wide-eyed.
"I take it she doesn't like the color green-" Saria started, but was cut off.
"AND A FUCKING DRESS! WHAT THE HELL! I'M GOING TO BUST A CAP UP SOMEONE'S ASS IF THERE NOTHING ELSE TO CHANGE INT-"
"-Or dresses for that matter." Saria finished.
"CALM DOWN!" Navi screamed.
"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? LITTLE PIXIE BITCH! DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I'LL STICK MY STEEL-TOED BOOT UP YOUR TINKER BELL ASS-"
"I knew it was a good idea to take away her steel-toed boots.." Link muttered.
"-AND THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'LL BE CHANTING 'FAITH, DUST, AND PIXIE DUST!'" Erica snapped finishing her rant.
"Done mate?" Jamie asked in a little bit of a concerned tone, as the other three still stared at the two wide-eyed.
Erica nodded curtly still seething a bit.
"Look..." Navi started a bit warily, "You four-"
"Four?" Jamie started, "Hun you fairies need to learn how to count! There's only two of us."
Navi for some reason glared at Link.
"Dammit Link!" Navi snapped, "I told you not to lock them in a jar!"
"Heh," Link said, "They were saying rude things to me!"
"So will Erica and Jamie eventually! Will you lock them in a jar!" Navi snapped like Link was a 5 year old.
Link complated it in his head. The nodded.
"I'd like to see your midget-ass try." Jamie said.
"Ummm Jamie?" Erica said, now controling her anger, "We're kinda short now to..."
"Dammit."
"Link! Release them!" Navi snapped, fluttering around the cramped lodgings, "We really need to get your equitment and see the Deku Tree!"
Link sighed and pulled a sound-proof jar from his tunic.
(A/N: -Wide-eyes- Where the Hell did he pull it from!)
Inside were to faries; one was black, but its center was neon purple, the other was the same except its center was a dark blue.
Link popped the lid and released them.
The Black Purple one spoke first, "What the fuck is your problem midget! I'm going to set a bear on your ass!" it said fluttering by his ear madly like a pissed off bee.
"Mikey!" Jamie yelled victoriously, as she ran over to the Fairy and attempted to hug him.
"Jamie!" Mikey said, tone from mad to happy, and fluttered to her shoulder.
"Where the Hell am I?" The other muttered.
"Andi!" Jamie said suprised.
"Jamie?"
"ERICA!"
Everyone looked at Erica.
"Meh. I felt left out."
"Let's go!" Navi snapped.
(A/N: Saria disapeared...)
The six of them left the house-
(A/N: We've all played Zelda so yeah..)
-and listened to Navi ramble. Well Link was at any rate.
"What are we supposed to do?" Andi asked as he flew happily around Erica and Jamie, ignoring Navi as he played tag with Mikey.
"Erm..walk and follow?" Jamie suggested as they walke; rain pelting them.
"Yeah, well-" Mikey started, but then Erica cut him off.
"Rain..." she moaned, "Dead people in the sky cry... now for whom do they cry? For me? For God? For ... mankind? That we are all doomed to die? It is our destiny. We live, grow old, and die. Everybody dies. It is life. Life is death. He gave us life. We live for him. God. God sent his only son down to earth, to live as a man would. Jesus loves everybody. It was fate. Fate. FATE!" Erica began to cry, "I belive in Jesus..."
"Is she pissed about the dress still-" Mikey began, shocked by his friend's neew found religon.
"Ok, it's finally official. Erica has lost it." Jamie said, "Heheheh."
"Jesus wept. And I too weep. I weep for mankind." Erica stated.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight," Jamie said with a raised eyebrow; Link and Navi still oblivious.
Erica stomped the ground with her feet still crying, "I weep for the clouds. I weep for the birds. I weep for the ants, and the bees, and the flowers, and the mooses, and the butterflies-"
"And your sanity, which has deserted you." Jamie added, as they stopped in some bushes, Link digging for rupees, Mikey and Andi sitting on Jamie's shoulder looking on in interest.
"You do not know how I SUFFER!" Erica snapped.
"..."
And yet Link still digs for those darn rupees...
"I live a lie. I am always in torment. My life is shit. Nobody likes me. I have ZERO friends." Erica straightened up and addressed the 'crowd'. "I have ZERO friends! Hear that? ZERO! NONE! AUGHHH!" She flung herself down and wailed.
This caught Link's attention...
"O...kay" he mumbled, then continued his search for rupees.
"That's very unfortunate." Jamie said as she picked at her nails and Mikey and Andi resumed tag.
Erica stood up, "It is NOT unfortunate. I CHOSE my life! I CHOSE to live in exile! This is my fate, my sad cruel fate! I accept it! I do not deny it! I am…
-Insert dramatic pause-
Jamie held her bated breath...
"ERICA!"
"Damn! I thought you would be Darth Vader..." Jamie muttered, "Or atleast Harry Potter..."
Erica glared.
"Err! That's nice Erica!" Jamie added quickly.
"And I want YOU to join my side. Will you join? Will you be one with the devil?" Erica questioned.
"..."
"ANSWER ME! I DEMAND AN ANSWER!" she snapped
"Look Erica, weren't you banging on about Jesus before...?" Jamie asked her questioningly.
"WITCHCRAFT PROMOTES SATAN!"
"..."
"THAT'S WHAT GOT US HERE! IN GREEN AND DRESSES! WITCHCRAFT!" Erica snapped.
"Uh-huh..." Jamie said.
"Ya Allah! Insh'Allah! La ilaha il'Mohammed rasul Allah!" Erica babbled
"Mmmmmmmmkay..To the men in white coats for you!" Jamie said.
Erica suddenly bored with being dramatic began to throw rocks at Link out of sheer amusement which took longer for him to collect rupees, "Oh come on Link!" Erica said, "Stop acting like a damn Jew! and then she pelted more rocks.
(A/N: I'm not racist..)
Soon Jamie joined in (To Link's fustration) and even Andi and Mikey threw tiny pebbles.
-10 Minutes Later-
"To the sword!" Navi directed. Link threw the other four a quick glare and joined Navi.
"Uh..guys?" Andi said slowly looking over his friends Erica, Mikey, and Jamie as he rested on Erica's shoulder.
"Mhhhm Mikey?" Erica asked ass they walked up that big ass hill towards the sword alclove.
"Don't you think we should be nice to Link? I mean, we will be relying on each other for a while..." Andi said in pacifist ways, as they walked by the Know-It-All Brothers' house.
"Ehhh." Jamie replied as she hopped a fence through the Training Ground.
"Jamie I'm serious!" Andi said.
"No! Sirius is Sirius!" Jamie said.
Andi rolled his eyes, "Jamie that joke's a tad old.."
Jamie shrugged as she skipped to the hole they had to go through avoiding the question.
After Link and Navie, Jamie and Mikey went in, followed by Erica and Andi.
After escaping the Whopper of doom, they saw a chest perched on an old stump.
"Open it and stop staring at it Link!" Jamie snapped impatiently.
Erica and Mikey snickered, and Andi threw Jamie a reapproachable look.
"Fine!" Jamie snapped, she fluttered her eyelsahes a little, and in a sickening sweet tone she asked, "Link sweet pea, could you be a dear and open the chest? I'm becoming ever-so impatient!"
Erica and Mikey roared with laughter, and Andi rolled his eyes.
Link glared and opened the chest. He pulled out a smallish sword, he reached back in but pulled back as if he was scorched.
"What is it?" Erica asked concerned, which made Link look suprised-
(A/N: We're not complete bitches Link! We have hearts!)
-and shook his head.
"I can't get the rest." he muttered not knowing if he could trust the other four or not.
"Rest?" Jamie said with a raised brow as she walked to the chest.
She peered down and reached for two glowing swords, as if she was drawn to them.
She pulled them out. The were twin swords her size. The were stainless steel blades that were curved. The hilts were black, and straps to tie a sword to each wrist.
Erica looked in and pulled out a Bow and and some Arows. The Bow was Onyx Black, and the bows looked indestructable.
"Yeah! Fun with weapons!" Jamie said happily examining her swords.
As they exited that Training Grounds, and after they bought Link's sheild they headed to the Deku Tree.
As they passed Mido and random enemies Jamie started to talk about the Deku Tree.
"I never liked that damn tree! He talked to much like he had and eternal stick up his ass-"
Link and Navi glared at that.
"-I think he sounded like Dumbledore on crack myself.." Jamie finished.
"Jamie!" Navi snapped, "Hush!"
And as she said that they had arrived.
You know the drill, reveiw for update. Hope you enjoy.
Oh yeah, in real life, Erica DOESN'T go on like that over stuff, but this IS a humor people.
Ciao