Author's Note: I have a question! When I was browsing through fic.net and came across my own story, it said I had six reviews. I have received e-mail notifications for five, and only four actually show up when I click to see what the sixth review was! Does anyone know what is up with that? As for this chapter, I don't have much of an introduction. I have found it a bit peculiar that so far I haven't come across a fic which seems to deal with Merry becoming Master of the Hall and moving out of Crickhollow, so this is my own take of what Merry and Pippin (mainly Pippin) thought of it all.
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I own nothing except for Merry's kids =)
"I just cannot believe that that day will soon be at hand" Pippin said and avoided Merry's eyes. "After all these years…"
"It wasn't likely to happen much sooner, was it?" Merry said and kept his eyes on the field. They were preparing the fields for sowing the hay. "Actually I wouldn't have been surprised if it hadn't happened yet for several years!"
"That's what I'm talking about" Pippin said, unable to focus on his chore. "I cannot believe it is going to happen so soon."
"Father thinks it's perfect" Merry said. "I will be fifty this year, quite young for taking over the mastership of Buckland, but I think father is longing to step back."
"I think he knows you've got the potential to be the best master Buckland has ever had" Pippin said and pulled his cape around him in the cold, misty morning. "He probably would have kept the title himself for another decade or so if you hadn't turned into a warrior and a local hero, not to mention greatly respected by two great human kings."
"Mayhaps" Merry said. "If father thinks I'm ready to take on his title then I trust his judgement. It will be as he wishes."
"But it is so soon" Pippin complained. "June is just around the corner!"
"Not quite, Pippin" Merry said with a chuckle. "And don't just stand there with your cape wrapped around you, there's work that needs to be done! A little physical labour will warm you up better than that cape."
"I should have worn my Elf cape."
"In this mist I wouldn't have been able to spot you at all" Merry commented. "Now start working, the fields won't do the farming themselves!"
Pippin half-heartedly continued the work which he had always found pleasant in the past, especially at Crickhollow. But this year there was no joy in it, Pippin hadn't found joy in many things at all during the short days which had passed since his uncle Saradoc had announced that Merry would be made the new Master of Buckland on Midsummer's Eve. For Pippin the titles he and Merry would one day come to inherit were merely fancy things to add to your name when you were introduced to someone, it hadn't occurred to him until this early spring that he would actually one day be the Thain, as Merry would be the Master of Buckland. But now it was suddenly so real, on Midsummer's Eve Merry would become the Master. It was no longer a distant future, it was lurking just around the corner.
And with that realisation had come one which had hit Pippin like a ton of bricks. Merry would be moving. The Master of Brandy Hall could not be living at Crickhollow, Merry would have to move to the Hall when the title fell upon him. Pippin had pictured himself and Merry living at Crickhollow with their wives and growing families for the rest of their lives, Crickhollow was the place Pippin saw their children being born and grow up, and the place where he saw himself and Merry growing old. Suddenly his whole image of the future had been shattered, Merry was leaving Crickhollow and Pippin realised he would be doing the same in a matter of years. The thought filled Pippin with sadness and made him wish he could freeze time forever.
When Merry left, Pippin knew that home would leave as well. Crickhollow had been his home from the day he had first settled there, but now it would no longer be. It was not a home without his cousin. Pippin felt he would never find home again, for he would be growing old at the Great Smials, even further away from Merry, and even though the Smials was where he had grown up it would never be his home again. Home was where Merry was, he could not picture spending as much as a day without him, the mere thought of it made Pippin want to throw his hack on the fields and just sit down on the ground and bury his face in his hands. But he knew it was no use, it wouldn't change anything.
He continued working on the fields, feeling none of the joy he had done before. What was the fun in sowing the hay when Merry wouldn't be there to reap it with him? What was the point? What was the point in growing crops to feed the animals over the winter when Merry wouldn't be there to help him take care of the animals and go out to the stables with him every day? And how empty would the winter nights be when Merry was gone? Never again would Pippin sit by the fireside each winter night together with Merry, talking to Estella and Diamond and drinking Merry's hot cider. Never again would he get to sing Éowyn to sleep, compare Faramir's growth to Théodoc's or even fall asleep by the fireside with his head resting on Merry's shoulder. The winter, and the future, seemed so dark and empty to Pippin now.
It didn't matter much to Pippin that Merry wouldn't be very far away. Brandy Hall might as well have been on the other side of Mount Doom. Pippin knew he would still get to see Merry, but it wouldn't be the same. Pippin would miss the early morning breakfasts, the work on the fields and in the orchards together, the evenings by the fireside, the everyday life. And more than anything else he would miss being able to talk to Merry, listen to Merry, see Merry at any time he wanted. Merry was as much a part of Pippin's life as the air he breathed, and if he could have chosen he would have rather had the air move to Brandy Hall.
Midsummer's Eve seemed way too soon, no matter what Merry said. Merry had taken his father's news with much more calmness than Pippin, having half expected it ever since his father's comment six months earlier that Merry was well worthy of being the Master. And Merry had known all along that life at Crickhollow wouldn't last forever, sooner or later he and Pippin would be forced by the law of heritage to go back to their childhood homes and take on the responsibilities that had been waiting for them since the day they were born. Unlike Pippin, Merry always planned realistically ahead, and had been fully aware that Crickhollow would only be a temporary home.
Merry looked up from his task and glanced at Pippin. Pippin really made out a sad figure on this cold, grey morning, standing there in the mist with his old cape wrapped around him and the saddest look on his face imaginable. Somewhere deep down Merry knew what was bothering his cousin, but it was as if he wouldn't realise it or acknowledge the fact that Pippin most likely hadn't thought of either one of them having to leave Crickhollow other than to their graves. Merry's mind at the time only told him that it was the weather which had such an affect on Pippin, and with a laugh he told him to go back inside and play with Faramir instead of just standing out there in the fields, looking at the earth as if it were a treasure that would soon be taken from him.
"No" Pippin said. "I will stay. I'm sorry I'm not helping you out much." He lifted his hack and started to mechanically work again. "I'll stay out here and work with you… We should be doing this together."
June came far too quickly for Pippin's taste. The Shire was in it's finest, everywhere you looked the grass was green, the flowers were blooming and the sky seemed to be shining blue almost every day. But Pippin saw none of that, it might as well have been grey and foggy every day, as it had been the morning out in the fields when he and Merry had discussed Merry's upcoming title.
Crickhollow was already starting to feel less like a home, Estella was busy packing down everything she thought she might need at Brandy Hall, running back and forth down every hall as filled with energy as ever. Merry had laughingly told her that she only needed to bring her clothes and personal belongings, there would most likely be spatulas, frying pans and sowing needles at Brandy Hall.
Pippin made sure to stay out of the way when Estella was packing. He hated seeing her pack things down, things like the wooden horse Merry had carved for her or Merry's winter clothes. All the things she packed felt as much Pippin's as the things Diamond owned, for they had been in Pippin's home for years now and was such a big part of it. Crickhollow had been more than the shared home of two married couples, it had been the home of four friends who shared everyday life and worked together. Now it would be just Pippin, Diamond and Faramir, and Crickhollow was far too big for just the three of them. Funny, since it hadn't felt a bit too big when it was only himself and Merry.
Soon preparations were being made for the great party that would be held at Brandy Hall on Midsummer's Eve. Merry was often away now, his father was going through his upcoming responsibilities with him at Brandy Hall for a few hours each day. Pippin didn't complain out loud, but he wished they could have their little talks at Crickhollow instead of Brandy Hall, or better yet wait until Merry had moved. Saradoc would be having him around all the time pretty soon anyway, Pippin wished he could just let Merry stay where Pippin felt he belonged and enjoy the short time that was left.
He didn't breathe as much as a word about what he was feeling to Merry, he didn't want their last time together at Crickhollow to be sad. He wanted them to laugh and have fun, not talk about sad things. And more importantly, Pippin didn't want Merry to think he wasn't happy for him, because he was indeed happy that his friend would be the Master of Buckland. Merry deserved every title he could get, and there wasn't a doubt in Pippin's mind that Merry wouldn't do a fabulous job with his new responsibilities. He couldn't allow himself to bring Merry down by being selfish, he knew he would talk to Merry sooner or later but he was determined to wait for a month or so and allow Merry to settle in at Brandy Hall. He knew that the move wasn't easy for his cousin, he loved Crickhollow as much as Pippin did and Pippin knew Merry hated when they were parted as well. No, Pippin was not going to voice any of his worries or sorrows to Merry.
Only two days before Midsummer's Eve Pippin was alone in the stables, grooming his pony Fox. The stable doors were open, letting the warm summer breeze in, but Pippin felt like it was as cold as winter.
"Well Foxie…" he said. "Looks like Midsummer's going to come after all. Apparently you can't wish for days not to come and have your wish come true…"
He gave the pony a pat on the neck and then his eyes fell on Raven. Raven was Merry's riding pony, a well-tempered black animal who was as dear to Merry as the chestnut pony Fox was to Pippin. The two ponies had their stalls next to each other and when they were out in the enclosed pastures they always stood right next to each other. It suddenly dawned on Pippin that when his master left, Raven would leave as well. There was no way Merry would leave his beloved pony at Crickhollow when he left, and Pippin found himself tearing up. He leaned against Fox and glared at Merry's pony.
"So you'll be leaving soon, huh Raven?" he said. "I'll miss you… The stable won't be the same without you. So empty… I've gotten so used to seeing you here, or out in the pastures, it's going to be weird having you gone. Empty, that's what it will be. Empty coming in here every morning and only finding Fox, not you."
"Don't tell me you're going to cry over the pony" Merry said, startling Pippin who hadn't heard him enter.
Merry entered Raven's stall and gave him some sugar. The pony's soft muzzle against his hand was a well known feeling, Raven knew he could often find some goodies in his master's hand, and Merry gently stroke the horse's face while talking.
"As much as Raven likes you, I don't think he will shed any tears for you. So don't bother shedding any for him."
"It will be hard on Fox when Raven leaves" Pippin mumbled and looked at his own pony instead of Merry's, afraid of looking into his cousin's eyes. "Fox is used to having him around… He will be lonely without Raven in the next stall."
"I think he'll manage" Merry said. "Fox is stronger than you might give him credit for being… He will be just fine."
"Will he?" Pippin asked, no longer talking about the pony but completely unaware that Merry knew it. "They're old friends, they've hardly ever been apart."
"They will still see each other" Merry said. "Raven and I will ride over and visit all the time, or try to lure you two out on a long gallop over the lands."
"You say that now, but you know it won't be that way" Pippin said. "You will be busy, you won't have time to ride over all the time."
"I will make time" Merry said. "And while I go inside to join you for a third breakfast Raven and Fox can graze together. And when we ride to the inn to have ourselves a few mugs of ale, the ponies can enjoy each other's company at the stables there. It will be fine…"
"But not the same" Pippin said.
"Do you remember the night Éowyn was born?" Merry asked.
"Yes."
"We were in these stables for most parts of that night."
"We had a calf being born" Pippin said. "I remember."
"We talked that night about things not being the same once the baby was born. Do you remember that?"
"Yes I do."
"I remember we talked about change. Change is not always a bad thing. Just because things aren't the same it doesn't mean they will be bad. Things aren't the same now as they were before Éowyn was born, but they're definitely better. It won't be the same for Fox when Raven leaves, but things won't have to be bad just because of it. And Fox still has King and Strong and Diamond's pony."
"What about Raven?" Pippin asked. "Won't he be lonely without Fox?"
"He will never find a better friend than Fox" Merry said. "But I think he will do just fine anyway. He's not losing Fox, he's just not going to be in the same stable anymore."
Pippin didn't reply and Merry didn't say anything else. Pippin wished he could talk openly with Merry about what was really bothering him, but nothing had changed, he was still determined to keep his sadness to himself for the nearest future. Merry gave Pippin some room to ponder his thoughts for a while and then spoke up again.
"What do you say we take these lads out for a ride, huh Pip?"
A grin slowly appeared on Pippin's face. Merry and he hadn't been out riding much lately, Pippin had missed that more than he had realised until now. Going out for a ride sounded like the best idea he had heard in a long time, and he told Merry so.
"Ah, when are my ideas ever bad ideas Pip?" Merry laughed. "Let's go get the reins and then we can be out of here. What do you say we ride to the meadow by the Brandywine bridge?"
"Splendid idea" Pippin said and followed Merry to get the reins and saddles. "That meadow is perfect for a good gallop."
"Perhaps we can find some wild flowers to pick for our wives" Merry suggested.
"Or some wild cherries to eat!"
"There are no cherries yet, Pip" Merry laughed. "But if you want to look for them then go ahead, I shall help you out. Speaking of food, shall we go inside and get a packed lunch, or should we just stop by the nearest inn?"
"Nearest inn" Pippin decided with a huge grin. If Merry had food on his mind they were going to be out riding for quite a while, and the longer the better as far as Pippin was concerned.
"Okay then" Merry said. "Nearest inn it is. I tell you what, once we get out on that meadow I will race you to the Brandywine. The loser has to buy the winner a half-pint."
"You're going to lose, dearest cousin" Pippin said. "Nobody can win over me when ale is at stake!"
They quickly got the ponies ready and led them out the stables into the summer day, which suddenly seemed so warm and green to Pippin. He mounted his pony and let out a happy sigh as he gazed over the lands, for the first time this summer enjoying the surroundings. Merry sat up on his pony as well, and took the lead off toward the meadow. Pippin didn't know it, but Merry had been very well aware that it wasn't the ponies that was bothering Pippin. However he had decided it was better to let Pippin talk in metaphors and act along with it, since Pippin probably had a reason for not speaking his worries openly. However maybe a long ride on the meadow and some good food and ale would change his mind and make him open up a little.
Midsummer's Eve eventually came, much to Pippin's dismay. It was with a lump in his throat that he road to Brandy Hall next to Merry who was driving the carriage with his, Estella's and the children's things. Estella was sitting on the carriage with Merry and Diamond rode side by side with Pippin, having left Faramir in Estella's care on the carriage. Pippin didn't look back at Crickhollow when they left, but he noticed that Merry did. For Merry it was goodbye to a home, for Pippin it was too, the only difference being that he would return there the next day. Return to the hole, but never again to the home.
The company was unusually silent on their way to Brandy Hall, all four adults knowing that this short trip was their last together as a family. No one seemed to have any words fitting for the occasion, neither one of them wanted to be sad but they all knew that it was no time for jests and laughs.
Brandy Hall came into view far too quickly, and Pippin was surprised to see all the preparations that had been made for the party. It was like a smaller version of Bilbo's 111th birthday celebration, a party which was only vague in Pippin's memory. It was clear that the Brandybucks planned to celebrate their hero's return to the Hall and becoming Master. The children, who had been asleep on the way over, were woken by the sound of Hobbits running around everywhere making party preparations. All three children stared with eyes as round as plates at the party in the making, they had never seen anything like it before.
"Is all this just for you, da?" Théodoc asked in amazement.
"It's for all of us" Merry said. "They're happy to have us move back to the Hall."
"We've never lived at the Hall" Éowyn said. "Grama and Grapa live at the Hall."
"We do too now" Estella reminded her. "From now on this is going to be our home, and they are happy that we're going to be living with them."
They halted in front of the main entrance to Brandy Hall, immediately greeted by not only family members but all different sorts of Hobbits wanting to wish Merry welcome home. Before Merry had been able to breathe as much as a syllable the things on the cart were being carried inside by Hobbits living at Brandy Hall, and other Hobbits were rushing up to take care of the ponies.
"Let me, Master Pippin!" one said and grabbed Fox' reins. Pippin ignored him and dismounted, immediately spotting his parents and sisters in the crowd.
"I haven't seen so many Hobbits in one place in far too long" Diamond said and handed her reins over to a helpful Hobbit lad.
Pippin mumbled something incoherent for an answer, but Diamond didn't care. She had gotten used to his odd behaviour lately, she knew what was bothering him and knew it was best to let it be. Sooner or later he would turn to her, until he did she would let him ignore her and act strange, she knew he didn't mean anything by it.
Pippin saw his mother and sisters reach the cart and immediately begin to argue over who got to fuss over Faramir more. Faramir didn't have time for the attention, he was far too curious of what was going on around him to have the time to be fussed over by his grandmother and aunts. If it hadn't been for the sorrow in his heart, Pippin would have laughed at his son's efforts to get away from the four lasses to have a closer look at the party area.
Through the crowd of Hobbits Pippin saw Merry helping Estella down from the cart, and Pippin's father talking to Merry's mother while taking Éowyn and Théodoc inside the Hall. It seemed as if everybody was busy doing something except for Pippin. His world was standing still and everybody else's seemed to be moving. And that was the problem, he had let his world stand still while the rest of the world kept on moving. It had left him completely unprepared for this moment which he should have realised was bound to come sooner or later.
Soon he was scuffed inside for second breakfast, which he ate without knowing what he was eating. Hobbits were running around everywhere, and it was starting to annoy him. He had gotten used to the peace and quiet at Crickhollow where they hadn't even had any hired help living with them. Brandy Hall was so different with its many Hobbits living there and many guests running around everywhere. It was giving Pippin a headache, and he realised with a sigh that from now on he wouldn't be able to turn to Merry for something to cure an aching head.
"Master Pippin!" a voice addressed him. Pippin recognised the Hobbit as one of the guards at the boarders of the Shire. "A letter has come for you."
Pippin took the letter and mumbled a thanks. He opened it and eyed through it, then put it in his pocket. He gave up on trying to eat his second breakfast and decided to go rescue his son from the currently way too huge dose of womanly love from his family members. Maybe taking Faramir for a tour of the party area would help put his mind at ease a bit. He wanted to get acquainted with the surroundings before the party started, that way he would always know exactly where he was and it would be easier keeping track of Diamond, Merry and Estella. Normally the four always kept track of where the others were at parties, making it easier to make a quick exit when they decided to leave. Sadness filled Pippin's heart once again, he knew he would never again leave a party with Merry and Estella and ride home in the night, singing songs and laughingly talking about the night's events.
Pippin tried to listen to what his uncle was saying, but as much as he wanted to he somehow couldn't. Saradoc was in the middle of a long speech, in which he resigned from the position as Master of Buckland and introduced Merry as the new Master, and Pippin knew that this moment was important to Merry and that he should be listening carefully to every word. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it, to his ears it felt like the speech of doom. And uncle Saradoc was seemingly going on forever with his speech, Pippin made a silent vow to himself to keep Merry from giving an equally long speech when the time came for Théodoc to take over Buckland.
Finally Saradoc seemed to be nearing an end to his speech, or at least the part that was about him resigning. One could never be sure if he intended to speak as long about Merry taking over as of himself resigning. Pippin hoped he wouldn't, surely not even the most interested Hobbit would be able to stay focused for that much longer.
"… It is my honour and privilege to appoint the new Master of Buckland!" Saradoc said. "Especially to such a fine Hobbit! You all probably think I say that just because he is my son, but I can assure you that that is only part of my motivation for such a statement!"
Pippin absent-mindedly played with the brooch to his cape, which would ever so often fall from its place. It would probably have been as immovable as Merry's or Sam's was if it hadn't been for Pippin once ripping it off his cape to leave behind as a sign for Strider, but now that it had once been torn off and not sowed back on by an Elf it would fall off every once in a while. Pippin found the brooch to be a good distraction for his hands while his uncle went on and on about the responsibilities of the Master of Buckland and other things which Pippin honestly didn't care about. Whatever the responsibilities were, Merry would be able to handle it, Pippin saw no point in boring everybody with details. He glanced over at Merry, who was seated to his father's left and Estella's right, and saw that his cousin seemed to be listening carefully to every word. Once again Pippin reminded himself that this was important to Merry, so he would pay attention. But it only took a minute before he was bored again.
Estella, seated to Pippin's right, reached out her hand and grabbed the brooch Pippin was playing with without taking her eyes off her father-in-law. She had seen Pippin entertain himself with the brooch in the corner of her eye and it was starting to annoy her. Behind Pippin's back she reached out the brooch to Diamond, sitting on the other side of Pippin, who took the brooch for safe keeping until she could sow it back on the cape. Now that Pippin was without something to play with he tried once more to focus on his uncle's speech, which oddly enough seemed to be very interesting to everybody else.
"… I know that you will be able to turn to your new Master with everything you've turned to me for…" Saradoc went on, making Pippin unsure of whether he was bragging about himself or Merry. Either way it was annoying.
"Peregrin!" Diamond hissed in his ear. "Stop squirming! People are looking at you!"
Pippin obediently sat as still as he could. He hadn't even noticed that he was squirming in his seat, but Diamond was right. People were probably looking at him, expecting to see a proud and happy look on his face, and he should give them what they wanted. He managed to smile, but he didn't know if it looked as fake as it felt or not.
"… I shan't go on much longer" Saradoc said, to which Pippin had to keep himself from sighing with relief. "It is time for me to retire now, to sit down in my chair and let someone else stand up and make his voice heard."
Pippin glanced over at Merry again, and he could have sworn his cousin was looking a bit nervous. At least he wouldn't have to worry about following his father's speech, Pippin thought. Anything shorter than ten minutes would top his father's eternity speech, no matter what Merry actually said in his.
"It is an old tradition, dating back to when old Gormadoc became the first Master of Buckland and Brandy Hall, that the Master is known not only by his name but by an addition to that name. An addition which tells you something about the Hobbit in question."
"Well said, Saradoc Scattergold" a voice was heard in the crowd, causing several guests to laugh.
"I thank you" Saradoc said with a smile and bowed gracefully, earning more laughs from the crowd.
"This speech is never going to come to an end, is it?" Pippin muttered, angrily shushed by Diamond and Estella.
"The tradition lives on!" Saradoc said, continuing with his speech. "My son Meriadoc is not an exception. He too will be known not only by the name given to him at birth but by the name given to him by the Hobbits of Buckland! My dear Hobbits, it is an honour and a privilege to hereby announce that Saradoc Scattergold is no longer the Master of Buckland, but that the Master now goes by the name Meriadoc the Magnificent!"
With that Saradoc made a last bow, this time directed to his stunned son, and sat down. Merry slowly rose, cheered by the Hobbits at the party, with a suiting blush on his face. He had known they would give him a name to go with his birth one, but it had been a surprise to him that the name was Magnificent. A surprise to him – but not to everybody else. He had been called by that name behind his back for well over two years now, and it had been only fitting that it would be the name to be written into his family tree.
As he stood in front of what seemed to be the entire population of Buckland and waited for the cheering to end, he looked over at Pippin, meeting his cousin's eyes. This time the smile on Pippin's face was genuine and so were the cheers. The blush on Merry's cheeks disappeared and some of the pride with which Pippin saw his cousin came upon his face. He then glanced over at Estella and the blush returned, causing all who saw it to laugh.
"I thank you" he finally said and bowed deeply, calling for silence and getting it. "I thank you all… My father and predecessor, Saradoc Scattergold, especially. Him and Peregrin Took, the old fool who is more magnificent than I could ever hope to be. I shan't make my speech as long as my father's, I have decades ahead of me to say all that I wish to say to you! At this time I only wish to thank you all, and to name my son, Théodoc Brandybuck, my heir to the mastership! He is unfortunately unable to be present, sleeping like a log somewhere inside no doubt, but I shall hope that you will embrace him like you have me! I thank you for the trust you put into me, and I hope I shan't let you down! My wife Estella and I would also like to thank all of you for giving us such a warm welcome back to Brandy Hall!"
With one last bow, Merry lifted his half-pint and a huge "cheers" was heard from all around, then he took a drink from his mug and then sat down again. As soon as he was seated Pippin rose and bowed to him.
"My dearest Master of the Hall, Master of Buckland or Master Meriadoc if you wish, I have been entrusted with something special for this occasion which I shan't delay! Much" he began. "Before I carry out my assigned duty this evening I would like to congratulate you on this joyous occasion. As all here know I have been known to be in your company from time to time--" A huge roar of laughter cut Pippin off, and he good-naturedly smiled and waited for the laughter to quiet down before he continued. "I have been known to spend time with you on occasion, some might even call me a friend of yours, and as such I wish to be the first to congratulate you! You shall be the finest Master Buckland has ever seen, for one who can talk with trees and stand up against an evil greater than anyone here could imagine can certainly handle a crowd of ever demanding Hobbits! Or at least so I've been told, as we all know I do not know you very well." He bowed once again and grinned, noticing Merry's laughter at his jesting words. "Now I shall take care of the task appointed to me this evening. I received a letter earlier today," he said and fished the letter from his pocket, "entrusting me with delivering the information I'm about to give you during this evening of celebration. It is a letter from the hand of the White Lady of Rohan herself, and her king, your king as you have sworn him your allegiance and thainship! A certain king of Gondor and Anor, or was it a mysterious ranger called Strider, also sent a letter which is for your eyes only, and mine once I get my hands on it again!"
"Get on with it, Master Peregrin" Merry laughed, seeing how amused Pippin was at the moment and knowing that it was best to urge him on.
"The White Lady, and the King of Rohan, wishes for you to know that they are saddened that they cannot be here tonight, and that it is only the law passed by Elessar King that keeps them. They have sent you gifts to be delivered tomorrow at high noon, and Éomer King says for you to know that he will not call upon your service for at least one more passing year, allowing you to focus on Buckland."
With that Pippin bowed again and sat down. His part in the celebration was over.
"So…" Estella said late that night, standing in the doorway of hers and Merry's new bedroom. "This is home."
"I must admit," Merry said, "that it is odd to suddenly be sleeping in the master bedroom. Seems like it should be my parents who sleep here."
"I am so tired I could sleep in any room tonight" Estella said.
"I hope you're not too tired" Merry said with a smile.
"I guess it will take a few days…" Estella mumbled, not having heard Merry's comment. "To feel at home, I mean."
"Come here… I'll make you feel at home!"
She walked into his open arms and leaned her head against his chest. She was feeling so strange, both happy and sad, tired and awake… The laughter and cheers from the party were still ringing in her ears, her nose still felt the smoke from dozens of pipes and the wine she'd had to drink had made her a little tipsy. She could feel Merry's arms around her and soon his lips on her face, moving down toward her neck and shoulder.
"Indeed it is strange…" she said. "This should feel like home."
"One cannot simply move from one place to the other and feel like home instantly" Merry tried to comfort her.
"When I left my parents' home to live with you at Crickhollow when we were married, I felt at home instantly."
"You will feel at home here too, I promise you that you will! It's not at all like Crickhollow, but home it shall be for us. For as long as we live."
Estella nodded thoughtfully. She knew he was right, it would feel like home sooner or later. Wherever he was, she was certain she would be able to feel at home. It was indeed strange how her life had changed since she'd met him on the night he last came back from Rohan. She smiled at the memory.
"Did you know that there wasn't a lass out there who didn't envy me tonight?"
"I'm quite sure Diamond didn't" Merry teased.
"You know what I'm talking about… You were the most coveted bachelor in all of Buckland before we were married. There wasn't an unmarried lass who didn't wish to be the one to win your heart. Not only the master-to-be, but the one who liberated the Shire from its tyrants. You and Pippin had far more lasses lusting for you than you ever knew."
"And Estella Bolger won them both over" Merry said. "Pippin first, and when Merry returned you quickly worked your charms at him."
"Oh Merry, I was never intending for things to be that way" Estella said and looked at him. "Neither one of you were ever a trophy for me! I cared deeply about Pippin, but there was something different with you…"
"I didn't mean it as an accusation" Merry said. "And the situation with you, me and Pip is solved, has been for a long time. But if Pip and I were as popular among the lasses as you claim, then you must have been held for some kind of heroine for charming us both!"
"You obviously don't know much about lasses" Estella pointed out. Merry chuckled and went back to kissing her neck. Estella wrapped her arms around his and smiled. "Master of the Hall you are… How does it feel to be Meriadoc the Magnificent?"
Merry's lips left her neck and he looked away with a blush on his face.
"It feels as if I shouldn't be" he said.
"Why?"
"Magnificent… That's a very strong word! I have known magnificence! If they had seen all the things I've seen and known all the people I know they wouldn't hold me as magnificent. Compared to Gandalf, Strider, Frodo, dozens of others I am far from magnificent."
"You have such disbelief in yourself" Estella said. "Magnificent you are, and bear the name with pride!"
"I shall do my best to live up to it" Merry said. "People seem to think that Master of Buckland is just a title, something fancy to call yourself and which allows you to think highly of yourself and command others. But it is a huge responsibility and comes with a lot of work. And a lot of sacrifice…"
"Worry not tonight" Estella said and stroke his cheek. "You will do fine, just as your father and cousin said! You have your father to help you if you need it, your uncle Palladin to consult with and your friend Samwise to share the responsibility with."
"Sam is mayor of the Shire" Merry pointed out. "Buckland was not part of the Shire when that job was stated. Buckland is out of his territory."
"Does that mean the two of you cannot help each other out?"
"You're right…"
"Of course I am. Now come to bed and put your worries aside for the night. There will be plenty of time for you to worry, you do not have to do so on this night, tonight is for your celebration."
"Again you're right. I shouldn't worry so much… And I'll come to bed, if you will celebrate with me."
The next day things were chaotic at Brandy Hall. Everything that had been put up for the party was to be taken down, but there was some leftover food and ale which distracted most of the Hobbits. Quarrels could be heard all over the party area over who would get the steak and who would get the ale, and to whom did the pipe-weed really belong? It didn't take Merry long to realise that it was no use trying to get anything cleaned up during the treasure hunt for leftovers so he chose to leave it for the time being.
Together with Pippin and Sam he took a stroll around the areas, keeping a watchful eye at the quarrelling Hobbits to make sure no debate got out of hand. Sam did most of the talking, going on and on about how the previous night had been and making comparisons to Bilbo's 111th birthday party. Pippin hardly spoke a word, walking around with a melancholy look on his face and his Elf cape folded over his arms as the brooch was still in Diamond's pocket.
"It's not much longer until noon, Master Merry!" Sam said, taking a break from talking about the party.
"Sam…" Merry said with a sigh. "Don't tell me we're back on the master thing again! I thought you'd learned by now that you should just call me Merry!"
"With all due respect Master Merry, it ain't fitting!"
"Why not?" Merry asked.
"You know as well as I do, Master Merry! Me old Gaffer always said that you should treat those higher in status than you with respect. And you are the Master of Buckland now, it ain't fitting for a gardener to address you common!"
"Don't be a fool, Sam" Merry said, slightly irritated. "You know as well as I do that I am no better than you just because I was born to a higher social status. Last night changes nothing, I refuse to be Master Merry with you because in contrary of what you say, that ain't fitting! I could be the king of the world and still be your friend, friends do not address each other with titles when talking to each other in private!"
"It still ain't right."
"For the last time, don't call me Master Merry to my face. It sounds horrible to hear you say it, I ask you not to title me!"
"All right then" Sam said with a pout. "If that is your wish… But you know as well as I do that it's not fitting. Don't you agree, Pippin?"
Pippin didn't reply, he hadn't even heard the discussion. Sam looked at him in surprise and gave him a nudge.
"What?" Pippin mumbled.
"Don't you agree with me?"
"On what?"
"Never mind Pippin, Sam" Merry said. "He's tired from last night's party. I know that he agrees with me on the matter anyway. And don't think I noticed that you didn't put a master in front of his name! And don't you ever start putting one there either, do you hear Samwise Gamgee? You agree with me, don't you Pip?"
Pippin nodded, but didn't say anything else during the rest of their walk, no matter how hard Sam tried to get him to speak. Merry finally told Sam to leave Pippin alone, sensing that Pippin had no interest whatsoever in taking part of the discussion. Merry was worried about Pippin, he was acting more different than Merry would have expected. He knew it was going to be hard on his cousin, but he hadn't expected him to react this strongly.
Right before noon the three friends had made their way back to Brandy Hall's main entrance, and they sat down on a bench to await the gifts Pippin had been told Merry was going to receive. Even Sam fell silent as they started puffing on their pipes, and they seemed oblivious to the commotion around them as they sat back and enjoyed the sunlight.
Shortly after they had lit their pipes, a party of five ponies and as many Hobbits approached Brandy Hall. Each pony carried a large amount of gifts except for the one in the front, who was only carrying his saddle and reins. Each pony was being led by a Hobbit, even the one who still had room on his back for a rider.
Merry, Pippin and Sam rose from their seats and their families came outside to see what was going on. The commotion seemed to stop entirely around them, everybody was busy staring at the ponies carrying such valuable gifts. The ponies reached the Hall and stopped, and the Hobbit leading the front pony took a step forward and bowed. He and his four companions all worked by the borders of Buckland to keep it safe from intruders, but had abandoned their posts for the time being.
"These gifts have been sent to the Master of the Hall" the bowing Hobbit said. "We were instructed to load the gifts onto our own ponies and bring them to you at noon."
Merry walked up to the party with amazement in his eyes, and to everybody's surprise seemed oblivious to the four beasts carrying such valuable gifts. He stopped in front of the lead pony, an animal who was clearly not a Shire pony but of a more noble breed. Merry stared at the animal with amazement and gently ran his hand up the pony's face.
"Oh blessed Éowyn…" he said. "You remembered… All hail the White Lady of Rohan, never let it be said of her that she knows not what things are important. Oh Éowyn, I cannot believe that you sent me this gift, I didn't even know that you remembered what beast carried me before I rode on yours!"
Estella looked at Pippin for an explanation, but Pippin was as surprised as all the others. He had never met the pony Merry rode on while in king Théoden's company.
"Stybba…" Merry said. "Out of all the gifts she could have sent me, none could mean more than you!"
"We were instructed not to load anything on this pony" the Hobbit who had been leading Stybba said. "We had trouble finding room for everything on our own ponies, but as you can see the pony sent to you as a gift carried only his saddle and reins."
"You asked me once Estella what a mearas pony was." Merry said. "Now you are looking upon one. This is the pony Stybba, on Stybba's back I rode side by side with Théoden, king of Rohan. It surprises me that the lady Éowyn knew this, but it does not surprise me that she knew what kind of gift I would appreciate the most."
"Speaking of gifts" Pippin said. "They weren't jesting when they said they would send great ones… Look at all of this!"
"Stybba would be enough on my part," Merry said, "if it hadn't been for how I cherish anything that Éowyn took the time to send to me."
"It wasn't just Éowyn" Pippin pointed out and walked up to the pony. "Éomer made sure his esquire received gifts worthy of a king!"
"Would you and Sam mind bringing the gifts inside?" Merry asked. "Put them in my bedroom, would you please? I shall have a look at them later. I am busy at the moment saying hi to an old friend of mine!"
"As you wish, Merry" Pippin said and together with Sam began to bring the quite heavy gifts inside.
Merry took the opportunity given to him when all the Hobbits around him were watching him to make an effort with the party area.
"The meadow behind us needs to be cleared up" he said. "Stybba is looking forward to galloping across it. If we get started now, things might be cleared up by tomorrow."
"Let me handle this, Meriadoc" Saradoc said. "You go for a ride on your new pony, the finest pony I have ever seen I might add."
"And yet for a mearas he is quite shabby" Pippin commented, grabbing another pack from the back of one of the ponies.
"Peregrin" his father said angrily, but Merry just laughed.
"Shabby he might be, but that is all in order. I myself am pretty shabby in comparison to the masters he has left behind in Rohan. I shall gladly take your offer father, and go for a ride with Stybba. A nice gallop along the Brandywine could do us both good."
"Very well then" Saradoc said.
Merry grabbed the reins and sat up in the saddle, barely noticing how fine the quality of it was, and leaned forward to give Stybba a pat on the neck. Estella looked at the pony nervously, not finding it nearly as wonderful as Merry did. A horse bred and trained by humans made her nervous, she had never thought of the big people as good horsemen.
"Be careful, Merry" she said.
"Do not worry, Estella" he replied with a smile. "The people of Rohan are the finest horsemen I have ever come across! They breed and train their animals well, you can be assured that I am safe on Stybba's back."
Estella didn't look convinced, but she didn't say anything else. Merry turned the pony around and rode in the direction of his favourite meadow, enjoying the feeling of being back in Stybba's saddle. He had grown more attached to the pony than he'd even realised during the War, but it was not only the pony itself which mattered to him. Stybba was a gift from Éowyn which felt as much as a gift from Théoden, and that meant more to Merry than he could even say. He had a strong suspicion that Éowyn had known this, and known that no matter what she sent in gold or valuables, there was nothing that could top a gift like Stybba.
When he reached the meadow Merry quickened the pace and soon he and Stybba were galloping over the lands, faster than Merry ever had with Raven, and if he closed his eyes he could let himself believe that he was riding over the fields of Rohan together with Éowyn, as he had the last time he had gone to serve Éomer. He could feel tears falling down his cheeks, whether they were of joy or caused by the wind he didn't know. It didn't matter.
When he came to the end of the meadow he sat up straight in the saddle and Stybba slowed down to a trot. Merry turned the pony around and halted, looking out over the meadow, the Brandywine and everything else in Buckland that was in his sight. His chest swelled with pride over the lands, lands that were his now, the lands that had always been his home and that he had fought for in the War of the Ring. It was an amazing sight, and it could not have been experienced better on the back of any other pony than Stybba.
Merry sat on the back of his pony and looked out over Buckland for a long time. Then he slowly began to ride back to Brandy Hall.
Pippin tied Diamond's pony to the back of the cart. It would not be needed for riding back to Crickhollow, Diamond would be sitting up on the cart with Pippin and Faramir. He knew he was handling the pony rather briskly but he didn't care, as long as the animal wasn't hurt it didn't make a difference to Pippin at the moment. He wondered for the umpteenth time where on earth Merry was.
It was no more than a few hours past noon, but Diamond wanted to get back to Crickhollow in good time so she could take her time with dinner, now that she was cooking alone. Pippin didn't bother pointing out to her that she was now only cooking for three, out of which one was a two year-old child, and that wouldn't take as long as cooking for seven. But he hadn't argued with her, if she wanted to go back to Crickhollow then okay. It didn't matter to him at the moment, he wasn't seeing much of Merry at the time anyway. He just wished his cousin would hurry up and get back to the Hall before they left.
When he was done tying up Diamond's pony he walked up to Fox, who was in front of the cart. He put his arm around the pony's neck and kept in a sigh while he hoped Diamond would take her time saying goodbye to Estella. The longer Diamond took, the better the chances were that Merry would get back to the Hall on time.
"Don't worry, Pippin" Sam said, coming up to him. "He'll get here in time for you to leave, I'm sure he will."
"How can you be sure, he doesn't even know that we're leaving" Pippin said.
"No, but he's got an intuition when it comes to you" Sam said. "He probably knew you were leaving before you did!"
"Sam don't tell me you're starting to believe all those stories they tell about Merry and I being able to read each other's mind, and other crazy things like that! You know none of the stories are true."
"He may not be able to read your mind, but he does know how to read your mood."
"Right now who can't?"
"It will be all right, Pippin" Sam said reassuringly. "I know what it feels like. Mister Frodo left, remember?"
"With all do respect, Sam…" Pippin said. "You were never as close with Frodo as I am with Merry. My whole life, Sam… For as long as I can remember! Those bonds are the strongest in the world!"
"Then don't worry about losing them" Sam said.
"That's not what I'm worried about" Pippin mumbled.
"I'm ready to leave now" Diamond said, giving Estella one last hug and walking up to the cart. "Let us leave, Pippin."
Pippin helped her up in the cart, wanting to stall but noticing that she had the opposite intention. Diamond wanted to leave before Merry returned, sparing Pippin of a goodbye scene. She had a feeling Merry might have the same intentions with keeping away for so long, but she wasn't sure and she wanted to leave as soon as possible.
Pippin got up on the cart next to her and smacked his lips at Fox, urging the pony to start to move. Sam said something to him but he didn't hear what it was and he didn't care. Whatever Sam had to say it wasn't important.
"Pippin!" another voice called, causing Pippin to halt the carriage. It was Merry.
Pippin turned and saw Merry sitting on Stybba's back, holding Raven by the reins. So he had made it back in time then. Merry made no move to dismount his horse, and Pippin wondered if maybe he was planning on riding with them a bit along the road.
"Planning on leaving without saying goodbye?" Merry asked. "Where are your manners, master Took?"
"You've been out riding for a long time" Pippin said and jumped off the cart, completely forgetting about Fox' reins which Diamond managed to grab right before the pony made a move. "We waited but you took so long…"
"I didn't know I needed to be back in such a hurry" Merry said. "I hadn't been informed that the Tooks of Crickhollow were leaving so soon."
Sam glared at Merry, then Pippin, then back at Merry again. They were speaking far too formally to each other, it was the first time he'd seen them do so in the Shire without it being in jest. The situation was a little too tense for Sam, who wished they would just sit down and talk things through before Pippin left.
"I'm glad I came back in time to see you off" Merry said. "I have a parting gift for you, Pippin. I'm glad I can give it to you before you leave."
"I'm glad as well" Pippin said. "I'm glad I got to say farewell before I left."
"Come closer, Pip" Merry said, and Pippin did as ordered. "Here."
Pippin stared at the leather handed to him.
"Merry…"
"I wish to give you Raven as a parting gift" Merry said and urged Pippin to take the reins he was offered. "Go on. Take the reins."
"I cannot take Raven…" Pippin said. "He's your pony!"
"Indeed he is" Merry said. "But I trust you to take good care of him. I think Fox will be lonely without his friend, don't you? It's a shame to part two best friends when you do not have to. Take Raven, Pippin!"
Pippin hesitantly took the reins and patted Raven. He looked up at Merry with unsure eyes.
"He is your pony, Merry. I know how attached you are to him! He's for you to ride, not me, I cannot take him."
"You already have" Merry said. "You're right, Raven has been a good friend and a trusty companion to me. That is why I wish for you to have him. Perhaps he can be a reminder to you that real friends never part, or at least help cure the loneliness. I would hate for you to feel lonely each time you went into the stables because Raven isn't there."
Pippin and Merry looked at each other for the longest time, and then Pippin nodded and led Raven to the cart. Raven was indeed Merry's, but he would serve as a reminder to Pippin that him and Merry were still together, at least Merry hoped he would. Either way he knew the pony would make it a bit easier on Pippin, and that was the most important thing.
Evening came to Crickhollow on that Midsummer's Day, just like it had all other days and would do all days to come. This evening was different though, all three left at the hole knew it. Every hall seemed empty, every room as well, dinner had been so quiet and now that dusk fell they wouldn't sit with their best friends and chat and joke. Life had changed and would never be the same, and no matter what Merry had said Pippin knew that this time it would not be for the better.
He spent as much time as he could taking care of the ponies in the stable, especially Raven, but he could not hide out in the stables forever. Sooner or later he would have to go inside, and he knew that he wasn't all alone after all. Diamond and Faramir were there, and he loved them more than he could say, but they would not be able to heal the numbness he felt.
They ate their supper in silence, even little Faramir knowing far too well that something was missing. Diamond wished to assure Pippin that it would get better, the first few days were of course going to be tough, if they weren't then it wasn't as it should be. But they would grow accustomed to life without the Brandybucks, and they would be happy again before long. But Diamond realised that her words would not be of any help tonight, Pippin wouldn't listen to them. So she let him sit quietly and grieve, knowing that he would come to her when he felt ready.
After supper Diamond went to put Faramir to bed, and Pippin went outside to sit on the steps by the door and watch the sun that took hours to set. He lit his pipe and practiced smoke rings for a while, but soon that bored him and he smoked without caring what the smoke looked like on the way out. How many nights had he not sat here with Merry, blowing smoke rings and pondering the day's events? Not many after Merry had married Estella, but before that they had spent almost every summer night like this.
Pippin had lived through many changes in his life, some for the better and some not. Fifteen years ago he had been just a normal young Hobbit, not a care in the world, never having seen anything worse than his mother grinding beef. And now he had more memories, changes and horrors behind him than he could count. Yet out of all the changes in his life this one seemed to be the most difficult one to come to terms with.
Diamond found him sitting there when Faramir had fallen asleep, and she sat down next to him, wishing she could do or say something to ease his sorrow. She came to think of something Estella had said to her before they left, and put her hand on Pippin's knee to get his attention.
"Estella said something to me before we left" she said. "Something that Merry had said to her. He said to her that you shouldn't be so sad, Pippin."
"Diamond…" Pippin said with a sigh. "I can't help it."
"I wasn't finished."
"It's easy to say that I shouldn't be sad" Pippin said, not listening to her. "But not as easy to live by it. I… I don't know what to do."
"Pippin, won't you listen to me?"
"Will you listen to me?" he said, looking at her with begging eyes.
"Of course."
"I know it might seem as if I'm overreacting! I know one might say that it's not a big deal, he's not far away, it will be fine. But it is a big deal! They don't understand, you don't understand, I don't even know if Merry and I understand! It's just…" He sighed and put his pipe away. "I don't know what to do or say, how to explain… I've lost Merry! The one person I never thought I could lose."
"But dearest Pippin, you haven't lost him!" Diamond said.
"He's not here anymore! He's not within my reach! I don't know how I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow knowing that he's not here! I know it sounds crazy, but we're talking about my entire life Diamond! As far back as I can remember, there's been Merry."
"But you've lived at separate places most of your lives" Diamond said.
"Not after the War" Pippin said. "And I've grown even more dependant on him than before. I cannot be Pippin without him! All my life it's been Merry and Pippin! Always Merry and Pippin, never Pippin on its own! And when you take away Merry, then what is left?"
"Pippin's left."
"But not the Pippin you know. When you take away Meriadoc you take away what's merry with Peregrin."
"Life goes on without Merry" Diamond said.
"Did you know that he nearly died in the War?" The look on Diamond's face told him she didn't. "He was really close… We had been parted a few days before that, I was looking forward to seeing him again, and when I did I find him wounded, nearly dead. If you could only understand what that felt like…" Pippin paused for a long time and Diamond wished she could try the tears falling down his cheeks. "Oh Dimesy…" he said. "It was the most horrible thing I have ever had to live through. And when we were together again, and he was okay, I knew I never wanted to be parted from him again. On that moment when I realised that Merry might die, I also realised what life would be like for me without him. And it would be nothing, Diamond. Nothing."
"Peregrin, listen to me!" Diamond said. "You cannot build your entire life around Merry! It doesn't work that way! You can love him, with all your heart and soul if you like, but you cannot depend on him the way that you do! You will be able to smile again, I promise you that, with or without your cousin. And you have not lost him, Brandy Hall is not far away at all. Ride over there tomorrow and see him! For your sake I wish you both could hide away here at Crickhollow for the rest of your lives, but in reality that isn't possible. You both have responsibilities in life that you must take care of. And with a friendship as strong as yours there is no way it can end."
"I can indeed see him again tomorrow if I wish…" Pippin said. "But still it wouldn't be the same. It will never be the same again. The best years of my life have come to a sudden end. Everywhere I look there is a never again. Never again will we work in the stables, sit by the fire, live here together…"
"Do you remember that I had something to tell you, that Estella had told me?"
"You already told me what she had to say."
"No, you never let me finish."
Diamond gently wiped his wet cheek and turned his head so that he was looking into her eyes. She smiled slightly and stroke his lips with her thumb.
"Merry told her this… so she could tell me and I could tell you… They will return to Crickhollow. When the spring comes back to us, they will too. Merry is going to begin breeding his ponies here next spring, and he and Estella will be living here every June, July and August. So until you and I move to Tuckburough, never again has not yet come."
"Really?" Pippin said and managed to laugh a little. "Merry said that?"
"He did. He said it to Estella, knowing it would reach you this way, because he knows exactly how you feel and he knows you've been hiding it from him. And he knows why you've hidden it. He let you keep up your charade, but he wanted you to know this. So he sent the word by Estella."
Pippin laughed again, and a genuine smile formed on his lips. He looked up at the sky and then back at Diamond.
"Sam was right… He always knows exactly what I'm feeling and the reason why I do things, often before I know it myself!"
"Yes, you are extraordinary friends" Diamond agreed. "And I will bet you anything that he misses you as much as you miss him."
"Yes, but why am I sitting here crying?" Pippin asked with another laugh. "Merry will return, he'll be back in June! June is a year from today, but I have lived without him for a year once before. And this time I will be able to see him at Brandy Hall while I wait for him to return. There is no reason to grieve, for he is not lost to me yet!"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you" Diamond said.
Pippin pulled her close and kissed her hard, overwhelmed by his sudden mood swing from sadness to joy. All it had taken was the knowledge that Merry would come to live with him again, now Pippin could make it through the long winter ahead of him. Diamond couldn't help but laugh at his happy reaction, and she put up with his a bit too hard kisses until they softened and became more to her liking. She no longer felt as lonely as she had earlier, Pippin was with her and then she could lose all the friends in the world and still smile. Unlike Pippin, all she needed was right there with her. Her boy sleeping inside and her husband sitting outside with her, kissing her until they both lost their breath completely.
To be quite honest I don't have a clue whether or not Stybba was a mearas pony, I can't remember! But it seemed logical to me that he would be…
Please leave a review, any comments or suggestions would be helpful! I am also a bit curious as to what kind of happenings people would like to see, I do have quite a few things planned ahead but I could definitely use some helpful suggestions =)