I opened the door to find Fin and Olivia standing in the hallway. "What are you guys doin' here?"

"Giving you a night off. Have you had dinner yet?"

"No, why?"

"You're coming with me," Olivia said.

"Where?"

"To eat. Fin's gonna watch Ben. C'mon."

"I can't just leave," I protested.

"Sure you can, and you are," Fin said.

I rolled my eyes and turned my back on them, walking into the living room. "Hey, kiddo." I kneeled in front of him. "Fin's gonna stay with you for a while. I'll be back soon."

He looked up at me, silent. Fin walked over and sat next to him. "I brought a movie." He held it up. I was surprised he even knew what kind of movie to get. He held it out to Ben, and he took it in his small hands and looked at the back. I beckoned Fin over to the door with a finger.

"Listen, if he falls asleep and has any nightmares, you just gotta sit with him. Rubbing his back usually gets him to calm down."

"Hey, chill man. We'll be fine." He shook his head. "You sound like a regular mother."

"Yeah, well, sorry if I don't trust my partner with a ten-year old kid, especially one that just happens to be my nephew." I bent down to tie my shoes. Straightening, I added, "I'll be back soon."

"Don't worry. We'll be fine," he repeated. I glanced over at the couch where Ben was still examining the cover of the DVD Fin had brought. I eyed Fin for a moment before turning to Olivia.

"Let's go. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back."

"They'll be fine. Fin's right, you are turning into a regular mother hen."

I glared at her for a minute as we rode the elevator down. "So where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"I'm not a fan of surprises, I'll have you know."

"Oh well."

I sighed and followed her down the sidewalk. We were soon at a diner I stopped at every once in a while. "You dragged me out for this?" I motioned towards the building.

"Hey, they've got good food," she said, and I remembered the first time I had taken her there after an especially rough case we had caught. We sat in a booth in the back, away what few people were in there. A waitress came by and we ordered. Then we waited in silence.

"Casey told me that you mentioned Ben to her," I finally said.

"Yeah. I went over to get a warrant and one thing led to another. I didn't think you'd mind, what with it being an open investigation."

"No, it's fine. In fact, it probably made it easier."

"Made what easier?"

The waitress came by at that moment. "Anything else, dears?"

"No, thank you."

"Now, you enjoy your food." She left to go to another table where a couple of college students were sitting.

"I asked her if she knew any good adoption lawyers. She called me yesterday evening to tell me that her friend, some woman she went to law school with, said yes, she'd handle my case."

"So, you are gonna adopt Ben?"

"Well, yeah. Otherwise, I'm not technically his legal guardian. I don't want that to be thrown in my face later."

We ate in silence for a few minutes, but it wasn't at all awkward. "Fin mentioned you were looking for a bigger apartment."

"Ben's been sleeping on the couch for the past week. Wouldn't look good to have my nephew not even have his own room, and me trying to adopt him. I wouldn't look fit. Right now, I'm just waiting for Fin to tell me what his friend said." At her quizzical look, I elaborated, "He came over Wednesday night and when I mentioned it, he said a buddy of his back in Narcotics just got divorced and he's lookin' for a smaller place, and trying to get rid of his so..."

She nodded. "When you move, give me a call, I'll help out."

"Oh, I was gonna call all of you, whether you liked it or not."

"Figures." She took another bite of her food. After swallowing, she said, "Well, it seems like you've got everything figured out."

I snorted into my drink. "Seems like. Believe me, I'm running around blind here. I mean, suddenly asked to raise a ten-year old boy is not something I was expecting to happen to me. Not that I'm miserable doig it or anything. It's just... I'm fifty-six-years old. That's too old to be raising a kid as young as Ben. I thought if I ever had kids, I'd be young. Thirty, forty at the most, not nearly sixty. He should have a father that's young enough to run around, take him to the park to play catch or throw around a football. Not one who's idea of an exciting Friday night is a new special on the History Channel." I shook my head. "He should have his parents, not me."

"John, there's nothing you can do to get his parents back. Even catching their killer... it can't bring them back. You're going to have to just do your best. And just think, you've got me and Fin and Elliot. You'll do fine by him."

I looked up at her. "How can you say that? How can you say that with such conviction?"

A small smile graced her face. "I know you, John. That's how."

"Then you should know that I'm just a rotten old man, cynical as can be. I'm a burden on a kid, not helpful. I can't raise a kid. I shouldn't be allowed to."

"That's not all you are. You've got one of the biggest hearts I know. You're not a rotten old man, you're one that cares. Too much for his own good sometimes." She smiled again. "Just think of all the conspiracy theories you can teach him. He's young, he'll believe you."

I shook my head, wanting to believe her, but unable to. She sensed it and put her hand over mine. I closed my eyes. "I can't do this, Olivia. I can't."

"And if you give up now, where is that going to leave Ben?"

"With a shot at a new family. One with a mother and a father. Maybe even a brother. Or a sister. Not with his old uncle."

"No. It'll leave him alone and scared with no one who cares about him like you do. No matter what you say, no matter how old you are, you're what he has now. And you know what, I bet you he's a hell of a lot happier with you than with ACS or in a foster home."

I opened my eyes and looked at her, this weird pain in my chest and a stinging behind my eyes. "What if I fail?" I nearly whispered.

"You won't." Her voice was soft, and finally, a part of me, a very small part, was able to believe her. "You won't, John."

I squeezed her hand lightly and she smiled that small smile again and I couldn't help but let one of my own cross my face.