The Tale of Years

by Namls

35 chapters up! Faramir returns from Gondor and is set to marry Goldilocks.

11. 1439

Author's Note: Sorry all Pippin fans, he's not in this chapter much either. I guess this chapter in a way marks the end of a trilogy for Merry and Estella, beginning with Lucky's birth and continuing with Merry's doubts in the last chapter. The way I wrote this story is new to me, but as you probably know by now I like to try new things and see if I can get away with it. This story is centered around something I've never experienced myself, which made it difficult to write, but if that shows then I hope you can look past it.

Disclaimer: All characters except for Merry's children belong to JRR Tolkien. The tale of Lúthien and Beren is more or less copied straight off from "the Fellowship of the Ring" (chapter "A Knife in the Dark", page 189 in my edition).

"Merry!"

Merry slowly and reluctantly opened his eyes and felt Estella shaking him gently. He groaned and felt how reluctant his body was to wake up.

"Merry!"

"What is it?" he mumbled and wondered what time it was. It felt as if he'd just gone to sleep, it couldn't possibly be morning so soon. "What time is it?"

"I'm not sure" Estella said. "It's almost midnight, I think."

"What is wrong?" Merry mumbled.

"We're having a baby."

"I know that" Merry said and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. "You've been expecting for months."

"No… We're having a baby tonight."

"What?" Merry exclaimed and turned to look at her.

Estella smiled nervously at him. She was sitting up in bed with one hand on his shoulder and the other on her very pregnant belly.

"Tonight?" he echoed.

"Yes. It started about half an hour ago, I didn't want to wake you right away in case I was wrong. But I'm sure now."

"It will be nine months almost to the date" Merry mumbled to himself and sat up as well, lighting a candle. "Sit back and relax, Estella. I will go wake Rose."

"No. I don't want Rose."

"Of course you do" Merry said. "I'll go wake her and then I'll find you a room to be in. Relax and take deep breaths, I'll be right back."

"I have had children before" Estella reminded him with a smile. "I know to relax and to breathe, don't worry." She grabbed his arm as he rose from the bed. "But Merry… I don't want you to get Rose!"

"Why?" Merry asked with a frown and sat back down.

"I don't want you to get anyone."

"Don't be absurd! You'll need someone!"

"Yes I know."

"Right. I'll go fetch Rose."

"I want you!"

"Me?"

"Yes… You know how to deliver a child. I want you to do it."

"I can't" Merry said and looked spooked.

"Sure you can."

"No" Merry said and shook his head emphatically. "Yes I know how to deliver babies, but it is different when it's your own wife!"

"How so?"

"I cannot be of any help to you, not when I am the one who's fathered the child."

"You would be of less help if it was someone else who had fathered the child I'm having" Estella teased.

"Don't tease" Merry said with a frown. "You don't understand, it's… It just won't work. I can't. It scares me enough when it's another woman, truth be told it's quite a gruesome experience even though it's amazing at the same time, and I don't think I would be able to stand being here when you give birth."

"Now you're being absurd" Estella said. "Listen to me, I want you to be here. I--"

"And not only that," Merry continued, cutting her off, "it would be very inappropriate! A lass' husband should not be present!"

"I don't see why that is" Estella said. "It is your child too. You do not know what it's like to hear your child take its very first breath and cry for the first time! You should get to experience that, I know you would cherish such an experience!"

"It is inappropriate."

"It shouldn't be. Who did even decide that it was? The more I think about it the less sense it makes."

"Not to me. I don't belong in the room with you when the child is born."

"Yes you do." Estella said firmly. "Isn't it odd to you too? When you get married you take a vow to love and support your spouse through good times and bad, sickness and health… There is no time when a lass needs support more than when she has a child. And it is considered inappropriate for her husband to be there for her at that time. Doesn't that seem odd to you? To me it does, I see no logic in it."

"I don't think a lot of lads would handle themselves very well if they were present during their wife's delivery" Merry said. "We don't like to see our beloved in pain, especially not when we are the cause of it."

"But the lass has to go through the birth" Estella pointed out. "Why shouldn't the lad be there too? No matter how uncomfortable he is it is a lot harder on her. But if she knew that he was there for her it would be easier. I would very much like your support, I want you to be here."

She paused when a contraction came and smiled nervously at her husband. Merry looked at her with eyes that were clearly pondering how to get her to stop talking crazy and realize that she needed a midwife.

"I don't want to fight you about this" she said as the contraction began to go away. "I want you here, I need you here. Please do this for me."

"Estella think about this for a moment!" Merry begged and grabbed her hand. "Why do you want a nervous, guilt-stricken husband here when you could have Rose, or some other lass, who's gone through the same thing and can help and comfort you?"

"Because nobody could support me like you can. I know you, I know you won't lose your cool, and I know that you can do this if you only set your mind to it."

"I need a better reason than that" Merry said. "I would be putting you and the baby in danger by trying to deliver it myself, I'm too emotionally involved! Not to mention that people would be able to hear what's going on soon enough anyway so we might as well move you now. I am going to go get Rose, I will not have you risk yourself or the child over a whim! We came close to losing Lucky, let's not do anything to endanger this child."

"It is not a whim" Estella said firmly. "It is something I have thought about for the past couple of days. I don't want to have lots of people here, I would much rather be alone with you tonight! Alone, you and I, just the two of us until our baby makes the third. Just like you and I were all alone at Crickhollow when we made this child."

"It is not the same."

"No. But that night is the reason we are here like this on this night. You and I were all alone that night, it seems only right that we shall be all alone this night too. I trust you completely to be able to see me through this, you have seen more births than I have!"

"Would it not be easier for you to have Rose here?" Merry asked.

"Not as easy for me as it would be if you were here. You make me feel safe, and I want to be able to lean on you when I go through this. Merry please!"

"What if I get Rose and still stay with you? You'll have me here and you'll be in Rose's very competent hands."

"You know Rose will never go for that arrangement. Breathe one word about you being here and she'll throw a fit. Please don't get her, please stay with me…"

With a sigh Merry gave in.

"If I see that it won't work I will go get Rose, and nothing you can say will stop me then" he said. "At least for a while I will stay. But I need to go now and find a room."

"We are already in a room" Estella pointed out. "I had Aramac in our bed at Crickhollow, I can have this child in this bed."

"As you wish" Merry said. He wasn't very pleased with that arrangement, but it was not the thing that bothered him most, and he didn't want to argue with her. "Let's get you comfortable here, then. And I will go get something else for you to lie on…"

Quickly but carefully he arranged the pillows and covers so that she could lie as comfortably as possible and then looked shocked when she rose from the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I feel better if I can walk around" she said. "Rose never let me, with Cordy there was hardly any time and when I had Lucky I was afraid to even move! I want to get to stand up and walk about this time."

"No you won't" Merry said and led her back to the bed. "This time I say no! And I can be just as firm as Rose, now you've promised me to listen to me when I tell you what to do! At least listen! And I say lie down again."

"But Merry…" Estella began to protest, but one look at him told her that he'd had enough unconventional ideas from her for one night. Obediently she got back into bed but soon found herself twisting and turning, unable to lie still.

"One would think you were lying on an ant hill…" Merry said. "You're even worse than Pippin! How bad is the pain?"

"Not so bad yet…" Estella said. "But… You can never really imagine how bad it gets. To tell you the truth I'm always a bit scared!"

"I could get you something…" Merry said and started going through his herbs in his mind. "Something to help you out a bit."

"Save it for later" Estella suggested. "I will need it more then." She sighed deeply. "Hopefully it won't take very long. I would have thought it would take less time with each child I had but Lucky took far longer than Cordy."

"I think most children do" Merry chuckled. "Comradoc was in a hurry. Always is. That child never walks he always runs, imagine what it's going to be like when he's older and gets up on a pony! He'll probably not even bother learning how to let the pony walk, he'll start with gallop and never try anything else."

"That sounds like Cordy, all right. He's so different from Théo it's hard to believe they're even family" Estella said. "Théo never seems to move unless he has to. Fatty was the same way when we were kids."

"Fatty still is like that" Merry laughed. "Who would have thought that someone as lazy as him would have a sister as active as you?"

"I wonder what this child will be like…" Estella said. "I always wonder when I'm having a child, and the first few weeks afterward. I wonder what he or she will be like and what life as in store for him or her."

"It seems to be mostly him" Merry said. "We haven't had an abundance of daughters. But I'm happy with the one we've got."

"She's growing up fast" Estella said. "This autumn will be ten years since her birth. And I know you're proud that she follows you around wherever you go, she always has. She seems more comfortable around you than me."

"That will change as she grows older" Merry said and smiled warmly. "But you are right, I am proud. My little Éowyn is perfect! My little helper, always there to give me a helping hand or to simply keep me company. Truth be told she's helped numb a lot of the emptiness I've felt since Pippin and I moved apart. Yes, she sure is perfect…"

He couldn't help but smile proudly whenever he thought of his daughter. She was the apple of his eye, the two shared a special bond that he didn't have with any of his sons. It was as if him and Éowyn understood each other on a deeper level and he couldn't help but feel that out of all his children she was the one who was the most like him.

Trying his best to hide a yawn Merry opened the bedroom door and found Estella trying to quickly dry tears that were on her cheeks. He closed the door and hurried over to her, putting the mug in his hand down on her nightstand.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing" she assured him. "I'm just being silly, that's all. I had two contractions while you were gone and I felt scared and alone." She smiled meekly. "I've never been alone at all during a birth before. I guess I just wasn't used to it…"

"I'm sorry" he said and sighed. "I didn't mean to be so long. Are you really sure you don't want me to get Rose?"

"Don't be silly!" Estella responded and quickly dried her tears. "I was just a bit overly dramatic, I'm fine now!"

"I hope so…" Merry said, not sounding the least bit convinced. "I won't leave you alone again unless I have to get someone. I promise. Here, I brought you something…" He handed her the mug. "Drink it. It's tea I made for you, I put some herbs in it to help speed things along a little and to help calm you."

"Thank you" Estella said and smiled. "I was thirsty."

She took the mug and took a few sips. Merry got up in the bed next to her and leaned against the headboard. He couldn't understand how he could be so tired, the circumstances should have him wide awake yet he was fighting to keep his eyes open. He'd only gotten about two hours of sleep and had a long night ahead of him, but then again Estella had slept less than he had and had a harder time in front of her yet she seemed wide awake.

"Estella…" he mumbled. "If I fall asleep, will you wake me?"

"Fall asleep?" she said and raised an eyebrow. "How could you fall asleep?"

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "I'm just… really tired."

She grabbed his arm and squeezed it tight as she felt the pain return. Merry was suddenly wide awake, shocked by how hard she was squeezing his arm. When she let go he stared at her in shock and rubbed his aching arm.

"Really, you didn't have to bruise me!"

"You wanted me to wake you up" she dryly replied.

"I was thinking of a less painful awakening…" he mumbled and rubbed his aching arm. "I'll sport a nice bruise tomorrow morning."

She gave him an annoyed look but didn't reply. He sat up straight and rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up. When he was younger he had gotten used to waking for long hours into the night, when he traveled with the Fellowship they had three guard shifts a night, meaning each person got to sleep two nights and then wake for a few hours during the third. For months afterward he had found himself unable to go to sleep every third night. But so many years had passed now, those old routines were long forgotten and he didn't wish to rekindle them. It was easy to wake when you were young, when you were getting on in years it was harder.

A smile formed on his lips as he thought back on all those nights with the Fellowship. No matter how hard the day had been or how tired they were, there had always seemed to be room for a story before they went to sleep. He had not understood all stories, he could only remember half of them now, but it had all been very interesting. Legolas had told them stories about Mirkwood and about his father Thrandúil that had almost seemed to hypnotize Sam, Boromir had told them old legends told in Gondor and Gimli had entertained them with old dwarf tales. Even Aragorn had from time to time told a story, and those had been Merry's favorite ones. It seemed like such a long time ago that they had all sat together, eating and sharing stories, resting from a long day's journey. Even though he had been petrified, tired, hungry, sleepy and every last inch of his body had ached from time to time, Merry could not help but think of it as the happiest time of his life. Looking back, he only seemed to remember the happy times, and none of the pain or weariness.

"Tell me what you're thinking of" Estella asked carefully, noticing the distant look on his face.

"Old times…" he said. "The good old times… How can so many years have passed, Estella? I haven't seen Gimli in over ten years! Nor Legolas for that matter! Or Éowyn…"

"You go on and on about Éowyn so often that you might make your wife jealous" Estella commented. "What is so special about her that makes you talk more of her than of those you call your brothers?"

"She is like me" Merry said. "If Pippin is the half that's missing in me then she is the duplicate of the half I've got. It's hard to explain. We connect. It's… as if I was her friend before we even met. Though I didn't know it at first…" He shook his head. "I can't explain it. I wish you could meet her. Then perhaps you would know."

"I don't think I'd want to meet her" Estella said.

"You'd love her."

"I met that Strider, and that's enough for me. You have far too many queer friends, if I could spend the rest of my life among only Hobbits I would be more than happy."

"I wouldn't" Merry mumbled so low that she couldn't hear. His heart ached worse with each passing month for the friends of old. He was beginning to doubt he would ever see them again.

"Beren, son of Barahir, was a mortal man, who met and fell in love with Lúthien Tinúviel" Merry said. "But Lúthien was no mortal woman, she was the daughter of Thingol, an Elven king who lived in Middle-Earth while the world was still young."

He grabbed his pipe and sucked on it for a moment, seeming lost in thought. It had been so many years since he had heard the story of Beren and Lúthien, Sam often sang the song of their first meeting but never continued to tell the rest of the story. But even though it had been such a long time Merry seemed to remember almost all of it.

"You know the song… Sam sings it often. Of how Beren and Lúthien met. Lúthien was the fairest maiden who has ever walked this earth, and Beren fell in love with her at once. As the stars above the mists in the Northern lands was her loveliness and in her face was a shining light. It is hard enough to describe how fair an Elf is to he who has never seen one, to describe or even imagine the one who was the fairest among the Elves is far beyond my imagination or ability to describe."

He paused again and eyed his wife for a second. He did not know how to continue telling the story, it was a story set in a whole other time that she knew nothing about. She had barely heard of Sauron, and the story of the Silmarils had only been told once in her presence, a long time ago. Perhaps he was starting in the wrong end.

"Do you remember when I told you of the Silmarils?" he asked her after a long pause. "And do you remember the rumors that once grew of a shadow in the East, a dark lord by the name of Sauron? Years ago, before my journey!"

"Need we talk of such things?" Estella asked.

"In the days of Beren Sauron was merely a servant to the Enemy" Merry said. "He dwelt somewhere in the north, I have forgotten where. He had stolen the Silmarils, and the Elves coming back from the West made war upon him to regain what had been stolen from them. They were aided by men like Beren… men who were forefathers to the men I know today. Great men. But the Elves did not win their war, and Barahir was slain. Beren escaped through great peril which I have heard of but since long forgotten. During his escape came to the hidden Kingdom of Thingol in the forest of Neldoreth. It was at this time he saw Lúthien dancing, she was dancing and singing in a glade beside an enchanted river of which I have forgotten the name the minute I heard it. He must have felt like he walked into a dream. It was he who gave her the name Tinúviel, which in the language of old meant nightingale. Tinúviel felt the same for Beren as he did for her, but their joy was not something they could take for granted."

He paused again. He sucked on his pipe in silence for a few minutes, in no particular hurry to continue with his story. The night was going to be long and there would be hours ahead of them where he could tell her stories. He had picked the story of Beren and Lúthien when she had asked him to tell her one since he knew it was a long story. He knew longer ones, but somehow this story seemed more fitting than ones of war and death. He never wanted to tell her such stories, he only wanted to tell her stories of love and happiness. Unfortunately he didn't know too many of those.

"They were parted for a long time" he continued. "Beren was prisoned by Sauron, Tinúviel saved him from the dungeons. Together they passed through great dangers of which I know very little, and succeeded where the Elven armies had failed. They cast the Great Enemy from his thrown and reclaimed one of the three Silmarils from his iron crown. The jewel was to be given to Thingol, as the bride-price for Lúthien who aimed to marry Beren. But alas, Beren was slain by the Wolf that came from the Enemy's lands, and his life ended in the arms of his Tinúviel."

He took another pause and his mind wandered a bit. He remembered very clearly this part of the story, possibly because it held many similarities to his own friend's life. He wondered what it was like to live forever, and have lived forever, and then give life up for someone you loved. Was it any different than the same action would be for someone like him, who was not immortal? He would never know the answer to that question but he had often wondered about it.

"When Lúthien lost Beren…" he said. "I think it was then that she started to feel like immortality was a curse. I have heard it said that mortality is a gift, though I have yet to see in what way. But Lúthien wished for this gift. She forsook her immortality, she chose to leave this world and to die, so that she could be reunited with Beren. It is said that they met again, beyond the Sundering Seas, and that they walked together again for a brief time in life, before they both passed. Lúthien Tinúviel, the one whom the Elves loved the most, is the one Elf who has died and left the world, died a mortal woman's death. The fair race has lost the one they cherished the most. Till this day she is the only Elf who has died from the world, or at least so I think, for I have heard talk of another Elf who forsook her immortality. Whether or not Lúthien is the only Elf who has died a mortal death, a lady who still walks on Middle-Earth has made the same sacrifice in our time. Arwen Undómiel, Queen of Gondor, was born an Elf but forsook her immortality for the one she loved."

"Arwen…" Estella said. "I know that name!"

"She is Aragorn's wife" Merry said with a smile. "And they say that in her face you can hint the beauty of Tinúviel. She is indeed fairer than one would have thought a lass could be. Arwen is a descendant of Lúthien, and so is her father, Elrond half-Elf."

"Those stories of yours…" Estella said. "They are so amazing that one wouldn't think they were real."

"Real they are" Merry said. "That I know, even though it can't be truly proven I suppose. Some stories you just know are true, you need no proof."

"Tell me one that I can know for sure is true" Estella said. "Tell me one of your own stories. I know you have many, though you never speak of them."

"None of my stories are very fitting" Merry said and put his pipe down on the nightstand. "Nor are they ones you should speak of during the night."

"All of your stories cannot be that terrible" Estella said. "There must be at least one story which has some hope and joy in it. You have so often spoken of your journey in loving terms, how can that be if all your stories are horrible?"

"All the stories are really just one" Merry said. "They all belong together, they're all tangled. And through them all runs the same fear, the same evil…" He shuddered. "No, I do not wish to speak of it, I'm sorry."

"Is there not one single story from a whole year of events that has a happy ending? How can that be?"

"In the end the story did end well… But frankly my dear, the stories I have from my journey are not the kind that should be told when a child is being born. What made that journey so cherished to me is the people I got to know and the feeling of victory when bad things turned good."

"Tell me something!" Estella urged. "Something to take my mind off it… Tell me more about Éowyn, you love to talk about her!"

"I think I've told you everything there is to say about her already" Merry said with a smile. "Everything and then some."

"No you haven't" Estella said. "All your stories begin long before you met her, or after the War was over."

"For a reason" Merry pointed out.

"Tell me about when you first met her!"

"When I first met Éowyn? I was travelling with Théoden king and his army… Strider was there too, and Legolas and Gimli. Pippin was gone."

"Where was he?"

"Gone…" Merry said, not wanting to go further into that part of the story. "And I was lonely without him. I was very lonely when I first met Éowyn, and truth be told I didn't connect with her from the first minute. I don't even remember much of my first meeting with her, what I remember most is the first time I saw her for who she really was… It was as if a veil was before my eyes when we first met, my despair of being parted from Pippin made me unable to see anything else. Even Éowyn. I don't think we ever spoke before…"

He trailed off and in his memory relived the moment on the battlefield when Dernhelm revealed his true identity. Whenever he thought of that moment it was as vivid as if it was happening right then and there, he could feel the stench in the air, sense the fear, hear the cries from the wounded and dying. He barely heard the muffled cries coming from Estella, in his head they blended in with the other cries of pain and fear at the Pelennor Fields. In his mind he saw the whole battle play out before him, how Éowyn had challenged the Witch King and how he had snuck closer and aided her in the battle. The horrible cry from the ringwraith filled his ears and with a shriek he returned to the present, almost as if waking from a nightmare.

"Merry?" Estella's voice said. "What's wrong?"

"Such things just shouldn't be talked about during the night" Merry mumbled and grabbed his pipe, sucking on it for comfort like a baby sucks on a pacifier. Estella looked at him and wondered what he was thinking about.

"Sometimes I think it would be better if you could just talk about it" she said. "Share your fears with me!"

"Don't you understand?" Merry asked. "If you knew even half of it you would not close your eyes in peace for months! And yet you would only have heard of it, not experienced it! And I'll be damned if you should be scarred from those things as well, what was the use of us going through all of that if you are not spared from it?"

"I just don't see what could be so bad as all that…" Estella said.

"Of course you don't" Merry said. "That's what's fortunate. That's how I want it to stay. You should never know those things. Anyone who cannot imagine that horror is lucky, and I wish for you to be so lucky."

"This horror, you connect it with your first meeting with Éowyn?"

"No!" Merry said, looking surprised. "No, of course not. But… it's a long story. The first time I saw her I had no clue what kind of person she was, or how alike she and I were. I remember that all I thought was that she had the longest and most beautiful hair I had ever seen. Humans, you see, don't have curly hair like we do. Hers was straight, blonde and hanging down her back… I had never seen hair like that before."

"I've never seen hair like yours before" Estella commented. "How did it ever get so curly? I don't remember it ever being that way when we were younger!"

"That's actually a story from my journey which is fairly safe to tell" Merry said with a smirk. "Pippin and I…" he sighed. "I cannot tell you how we ended up where we were at the time, or what we were doing there, you will have to get by without that information. We were in Fangorn Forest, Pip and me, in the care of an Ent named Treebeard. An Ent is… do you remember the stories about the Old Forest?"

"The Old Forest?" Estella shivered. "Don't talk of it, those stories frighten me! I don't want to hear about it at a time like this!"

Merry could barely keep from rolling his eyes. Those stories scared her, yet she wanted to hear of ringwraiths and orcs and battles.

"You know the stories, then. Of trees that would come alive and move and talk to each other. Most Hobbits in these areas were told horror stories of them when they were little, and they are indeed true those stories! I've experienced it far too well myself… But there is a whole other forest, far from here, which is like that. Fangorn Forest has been feared for years, even by the Elves! For the trees grew resentful toward other beings who came into their woods and chopped them down."

"Merry, trees aren't resentful" Estella said.

"Every tree has a voice" Merry said. "I've learned that. And they talk, we just don't know how to listen. Not even the Elves do anymore! But there are some creatures who are almost trees, yet they are not. Treeherders, one might call them. They care for the trees and keep them happy. They look much like trees themselves, one could easily be fooled by their appearances to think that they cannot move or talk. But they can. They are Ents."

He began to describe the nature of the Ents and what little he knew of their history to her, pausing every now and then when she was in pain. He told her the story of how he and Pippin had been wandering about in Fangorn Forest and encountered Treebeard. He told her as much as he saw fit, and eventually explained to her about the water they drank in Treebeard's home.

"I don't know whether or not to believe this" Estella said, shaking her head. "It seems so unbelievable. Yet I can see with my own two eyes that your hair is curlier than any other Hobbit's save Pippin, and you're taller than any Hobbit I have ever met before! So your story must be true. I can't think of any more reasonable story which would explain those curls of yours."

"It's as true as can be" Merry assured her. "Though I cannot blame you if you find it unbelievable. If I hadn't experienced it myself I would probably have discarded it as someone's overly active imagination."

"It makes me wonder what stories you're not telling me" Estella said. "Would I believe them if I heard them?"

"Some of them" Merry said. "But it doesn't matter. And let's not talk anymore of this tonight, the winter night is far too dark!"

"A Hobbit of your age and experience who is frightened by the dark" Estella teased.

"Don't jest" Merry said firmly. "There are stories who can make the brightest summer day seem dark as the night!"

Estella just shook her head at him and wondered what on earth he really meant by that. The only things that gave her nightmares were reckless things her sons did while playing or Merry trying to ride his unruly pony Snow White. She couldn't imagine any greater evil than what had sieged the Shire so long ago, she didn't know that to Merry the occupation of the Shire had been a walk in the park compared to his previous experiences.

"I don't think it will be much longer now" Merry said encouragingly to Estella, who managed to put a smile on her face through the pain. Merry stroke her cheek and gave her a sad look. "Not much that I can do for you… I'm sorry."

"You're here" Estella said as the pain faded for now. "That's enough."

"You're brave" Merry said with a smile.

"I've learned from you."

Merry placed a kiss on her forehead and gave her some water to drink. Dawn would break in a few hours, the question was whether or not the child would be born by then. He was quite convinced by now that Estella's condition would be found out quite soon, her complains were getting louder each time and people would be able to hear it soon. He was certain that someone would come and angrily shove him out in the hallway before long, while chewing him out for not having brought help sooner, but he didn't say anything to Estella about his suspicions. She wanted to be alone with him and he could afford to let her believe it would be just the two of them until the baby made three if that thought helped her.

"Is there anything I can get you?" he asked.

"No" she said. "Unless you have some herb that makes the pain go away…"

"I'm sorry but I don't."

"Ironic, since you mostly have herbs for everything!"

"Not for everything…" he said-

He grabbed a cloth and wiped her sweaty forehead, wishing there was something he could do for her. He was growing more and more certain by the minute, he would never put her in this position again. While he didn't know of any herbs that could easen her pain he did know of herbs which could prevent pregnancy. He had a strong feeling that she would never take any such herbs if he asked her to, but he hoped there was some way of getting her to take them anyway. He would feel much more at ease if she would not get pregnant again. Six children was enough for him, and she was getting older and shouldn't be having as many children anymore.

Absent-mindedly he grabbed his pipe and looked at it. As far back as he could remember he'd loved smoking his pipe, but since the war it hadn't been the same. He couldn't smoke a pipe anymore without thinking of king Théoden and feeling a sting of pain. It was odd how people left the world and others came into it, all leaving their own marks. It was odd how people who came from the same two parents could be so different from each other. He had no siblings of his own but growing up he'd clearly seen how different Pippin was from his giggling, airheaded sisters, and now he could see differences in his own children. The only ones who seemed much like him were Éowyn and Aramac, though Lucky was too young yet to be much like or unlike him.

Théodoc was the greatest mystery to him, his firstborn son and heir. Théo was eight years old now but still as shy and quiet as when he was three. He seemed almost scared of his father and only obedient of his mother, and his younger brothers only seemed to irritate him. The only one he trusted and seemed comfortable around was Éowyn. When his sister wasn't following Merry, Théo was following her. She was the only one he seemed to say much to at all, it was driving both Merry and Estella crazy that Théo wouldn't speak to them unless he was spoken to. He didn't resemble either of his parents' much by appearance either, they had been trying for eight years to figure out who he really looked like. He had Merry's eyes, the rest of his features looked more like Estella's though they weren't really hers either. The child was a mystery to most who knew him.

Aramac, who was now six, looked like his mother but behaved like his father. Merry's mother always said that Aramac was just like Merry had been when he was little, and it made Merry proud to hear. His six-year-old was responsible and mature beyond his years, one would think he was the eight year-old and Théo the six year-old. Merry found it charming that his son who looked so much like a male version of his mother, seemed to share a personality with his father.

Cordy, who would turn three this summer, had begun his life with a hurry and lived it in the same way. He never seemed to walk, he always ran, and he had been younger than any of his siblings when he'd taken his first steps. Speaking had took a while later though, it was as if he was in too big of a hurry to have time to speak. One had to pay close attention to hear what he said half the time since he spoke so fast. He was unusually curious even for a Hobbit and loved exploring new rooms in the Hall. He seemed to have inherited a lot from his grandmother, who was born a Took. He was very fond of his uncle Pippin, but even more fond of his second cousin Faramir. Faramir was the spitting image of Pippin as a child, both by looks and appearance, and just like Merry had gotten used to having a little relative follow him around when he was younger, Faramir was getting used to Cordy wanting to follow him around everywhere. Pippin had asked Merry with big eyes if he had been that way with Merry when they were younger and Merry had only laughed. Trust Pippin to have realisation hit him like a ton of bricks, and what was the use of being upset by how one had acted so long ago? Merry was glad Pippin had stuck like glue to him, if he hadn't their lives had been much different. Merry and Pippin both silently hoped that Faramir and Cordy would turn into as good friends as their fathers were.

Lucky, the fifth child in the litter, was a little more than a year and a half old. He had survived his premature birth as if by a miracle but it seemed as if he'd gotten a health condition because of it. He had had several colds during his short lifetime and he was weaker than his siblings had been when they were that young. He was a constant worry for Estella and her sorrow as she felt like she was to blame for his poor health. But Lucky Brandybuck was a good-natured child who rarely complained, and when he did one could always distract him with a story. He could sit for hours and listen to a story either told to him or read to him from one of the many books in the Brandy Hall library. And the luck that had saved him when he was born still seemed to protect him, the only thing troubling him seemed to be falling ill every now and then. He had not gotten a single bruise or scratch in his life, while his siblings constantly showed up with cuts and bruises from playing too roughly. The nickname Lucky seemed to be fitting and his parents only hoped it would be for the rest of his life. That child would have enough troubles anyway with his lacking health.

Merry's thoughts finally landed on the incoming baby, and on his mother. Esmeralda Brandybuck was only a month away from her 103rd birthday and in the past couple of years she had been ill. Merry knew she wouldn't live much longer, and even though he hadn't said anything to her he knew she knew it too. She had said to him a while ago that she only wished she could live long enough to see her sixth grandchild. Her wish was coming true, and while it pleased Merry that his mother would get what she wanted it also made him a bit afraid. He was worried she would give in to her illness and pass on once she'd gotten to see the latest, and as Merry had decided, last member to the family. Merry felt like he had lost his father just a short while ago and he was not ready to lose his mother too. He had hoped she'd be around at least until Éowyn turned twenty.

He looked over at Estella and with a strike of sadness he suddenly knew he was going to outlive her. He couldn't explain how he knew, he just knew. He hoped it would be very long until her dying day, for the children's sake and for his own. Reason told him she had at least another forty years ahead of her, but the fear of losing someone he loved was deeply rooted in him. He would have to take good care of her and keep her from getting worn-out or sick.

He reached out his hand and gently caressed her hot cheek. She looked up at him and smiled faintly.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"I would give anything for a moment of sleep" she mumbled.

"It won't be much longer now" he said. "You'll get to sleep as much as you want to before long. I promise."

"If I'll be able to. Sometimes after a birth I'm unable to sleep for hours!"

He nodded.

"Thirsty?"

"Yes."

He gave her some water to drink and gently wiped her sweaty forehead. He wished for the hundredth time that night that there was something he could do for her, but there wasn't. All he could do was try to comfort her.

"Merry?" she said after a while.

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking… About this spring."

"What about it?"

"About when Rosie had Ruby. And how Ruby…"

She trailed off and Merry gently shushed her.

"Don't think about that now."

"I can't help it. I'm scared. Ruby seemed perfectly healthy, her birth went relatively easy and she showed no signs of being ill or hurt at all. And yet she died!"

"Sometimes that happens" Merry said. "Children sometimes die after only a short time in this world. It can be for a million different reasons."

"But how can you know that it will happen?"

"You can't."

"How can we then know that this baby won't die just like Ruby did?"

"We can't" Merry said honestly. "But we can't let that knowledge get to us. None of our children have died, there's no reason to believe that this one will."

"None of Rosie's children died before Ruby."

"Rosie has ten living children. By all accounts that's a very lucky figure. Only one death among eleven children. We have five, soon six. If Sam and Rose could have eleven children before anything bad happened what's to say you and I can't have six?"

"I'm still scared" Estella whispered. "We came so close to losing Lucky…"

"But we didn't lose him. They're survivors, our little ones. You have taken good care of yourself this time around and I see no reason to worry, especially about things that are beyond our control anyway. Please, don't think about it anymore tonight…"

"I'll try not to" Estella promised. "But it's hard not to worry about your children."

"I know. I happen to have a few myself" Merry grinned. "But I want you to just try to relax now and focus on bringing this little one into the world. Whatever happens next we can worry about when daybreak comes."

"How your parents must have torn their hair when you left" Estella said with a sigh. "I would lose my mind of one of my boys just disappeared and wasn't heard from for more than a year, especially when foul creatures were lurking about."

"None of them would without good reason" Merry said. "Now cast those thoughts aside and focus. You're getting closer love, and I need you to save your energy and just rest. You will need all your strength soon, don't spend it on things that don't matter at the moment."

Estella nodded and gritted her teeth. Merry turned his head, unable to look at her right now. Why hadn't he fetched Rose? Estella would need Rose. Merry doubted that he would be able to see her through this.

Merry was surprised by how easily he slipped into the role of the medic when the baby finally decided that it was time to enter the world. The fact that the birthing mother was his own Estella seemed to give him an extra energy kick, and it was the first time in many years that he had brought a child into the world without any complications. He knew it would all be over for Estella soon and the anticipation for the baby pushed all worries out of his head. Firmly gripping Estella he calmly told her what to do, even though she knew just as well as he did.

Her face was pale and her eyes shut, but she didn't make a sound now. Merry had never seen her so concentrated before, and shivers ran through her body like during their most intimate moments. But they had never been intimate in this kind of way before, Merry had never been there to deliver one of their children.

"Come on now" he said gently but with force in his voice. "There's a good lass… Come on now love, you can do it."

Suddenly he saw a baby's head, and shortly thereafter he got a firm but gentle grip of the child. He glanced up at his wife and was struck by how beautiful she was at this moment. Her hair was hanging in sweaty wisps around her face and the rest of her was soaking as well. There was a look on her face which he had never seen before and he knew she was in a lot of pain. But there was something about her at this moment which made his eyes fill with tears at how beautiful she was.

"Relax now" he said softly. "There's my lass…"

Estella fell back on the pillows and gasped for air. She slowly opened her eyes when the cry of a newborn was heard. She saw Merry and what struck her as the most beautiful scene she had ever seen. He was a mess, just like her, and with his arms stained red with what she knew was her own blood. He had a few streaks of red on his face as well, where he had wiped his unruly curls out of the way, but he didn't seem to have noticed. He had a smile that seemed almost radiant on his lips and he was whispering something to the baby she couldn't see for his arms.

"You did well my love" he said to Estella without looking up at her. "Very well…" Then he looked up at her and chuckled slightly with a tear of joy falling down his cheek. "It's a lass. And with hair as golden as the sun, though ask me not where she got that from."

"A daughter?" Estella whispered. "We have a daughter?"

"We have a daughter! Finally Éowyn has a sister."

It seemed as a sign to him. This child would be their last. The first child born to them had been a daughter, then had followed four sons, and now came at last another daughter. It seemed like an ending, as the birth of their first daughter had been a beginning.

Both parents were completely exhausted when they settled down to rest a while later. The baby had been cleaned up, and Estella too to some degree. Merry was snuggled up next to her with his chin resting on her shoulder and even the baby seemed to think it had been a rough enough night and now it was time to go to sleep.

"Out of six children you have given names to four" Estella said softly. "Now it's my turn. I want to give her the most beautiful name I know of."

"Name her after yourself" Merry suggested and gently kissed his wife's shoulder.

"Rose already has a daughter named after me" Estella said.

"No she doesn't."

"Primrose. Her middle name is my first."

"That doesn't mean we can't name our baby after you."

"It's not the most beautiful name I know of" Estella said. "There's another name. I decided tonight, if it were a daughter I would give her this name."

"Well then tell me" Merry said. "What is the eighth family member's name?"

"Lúthien" Estella said as soft as a caress. "After Lúthien Tinúviel. Her story has always been my favourite."

"Lúthien…" Merry said with some hesitation. "It's not a Hobbit's name."

"It is now" Estella said with a loving chuckle. "For this Hobbit carries that name."

Merry couldn't argue with her when she used his own words of long ago.

"Lúthien it is then" he said and kissed the top of his wife's head. "Perhaps she will be able to sing like the nightingale."

"Perhaps" Estella said. "It's amazing… She's all ours. Nobody else has been involved at any point. We made her all alone together at Crickhollow, now we birthed her together, just the two of us. Never let it be said that we cannot accomplish great things together."

"Never let it be said" Merry agreed.

"We don't need anyone else…" Estella said, getting more emotional. "All we need is each other. The proof is right here in my arms. No midwifes, no people surrounding us, just you and I together. And the result is beautiful!"

"Rest now my sweet" Merry said gently. "You have well earned it. And you much need it. You are starting to muse! Close your eyes and go to sleep, I will stay awake."

She nodded slightly and leaned her head against him. Before long she was sleeping and Merry was the only one awake. He looked at Lúthien and smiled.

"My last child" he mumbled. "You will always be the youngest. Always be our baby. No younger sibling will come and take your mother's attention away, nobody will sleep in that crib after you until you are an aunt and the child in the crib is your brother's. We are finished now, your mother and me. We have come full circle. Now it's time to enjoy life and watch our children grow."

When the bomb dropped three hours later shocked Hobbits spread the scandalous news with the speed of light. Rose Gamgee had been furious when she had walked in to wake Estella up and found a happy mother, father and infant instead of a pair of expecting parents. She had yelled at Merry until her face turned red and then at Estella, all the while without raising her voice to wake the baby. Her anger had had no effect which had only angered her more, and she embarked on a long speech on how the baby's life had been jeopardized.

"I'm sorry Rose" Estella finally said, finally blushing with shame. "Please, I didn't mean any harm. I know you worry and I know why, but I had the best medic in all the Shire here with me! Nothing went wrong, and having my husband here was wonderful! Please don't be mad at him, it was I who insisted."

"Even so, you should know better" Rose growled at Merry. "Magnificent indeed, magnificently stupid!"

"Now wait just a minute!" Merry defended himself. "I knew what I was doing, I would have woken you up at the first sight of trouble."

Rose didn't answer, she took the baby from its mother and strode off to show the baby to the grandmother, while wondering how on earth she would explain this. As it turned out she didn't have to, everybody knew that she had just woken up yet came storming out of the master bedroom with a baby in her arms and soon everyone had put two and two together. The scandal was nothing like Brandy Hall had ever seen, sometimes their Master was just a bit too queer. After three days rumors went around that Merry had delivered the child with magic, others said that it was merely a trick. But either way it was shocking to think that a father had delivered his own child.

Merry and Estella were blissfully unaware of the scandal they had caused as they rested in each other's arms while waiting for Rose to bring the baby back. When Rose did return after thirty minutes she had calmed down and avoided Merry's eyes. She handed the baby back to Estella and then blushed.

"She is fine" she said. "No signs of any problem… She's beautiful. Perfect. I am so sorry Master, it was wrong for me to call you stupid. Can you ever forgive me? Sam will be mortified when he hears how I have acted!"

"And mortified when he hears how I have acted" Merry said. "There's nothing to forgive Rose, and Sam needs not know. It was stupid of me."

"No, you knew what you were doing" Rose said and felt really bad for having said such harsh things to someone she had been brought up to always treat with respect. "But I… I just… after Ruby I…"

"Say no more Rose" Merry said. "I know. I understand. Thank you for caring."

"Her name is Lúthien" Estella said, breaking the tension in the room.

"I've heard the tale of Beren and Lúthien" Rose said with a smile forming on her lips. "Trust you to find a special name for your child."

"For once I'm not to blame" Merry said. "It was Estella's choice."

"It's an odd name for a Hobbit" Rose said. "But among her siblings it is very fitting. I shall leave you two alone now. You both need your rest."

"All three of us do" Estella said with a loving smile as Lúthien yawned big and opened and clenched her little fists.

"I shall see you later" Rose said and bowed before leaving the room.

"I told you she would be angry" Merry said once they were alone again.

"I told you I don't care" Estella said lovingly. "And I told you we could do it. And we did. We did it together…"

Her voice slowly grew fainter as her eyes began to close. She was still exhausted. Merry gently shushed her and caressed her cheek with his lips.

"Go back to sleep" he said. "We both need sleep. I will get the children later, let them see their sister. But for now, we need our rest."

She nodded slightly and leaned against him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, completely exhausted. Before long they were both asleep, getting some well earned rest after their long night.

Merry woke up after only an hour and squinted, wondering what had woken him up. Estella was still sleeping and so was the baby. He looked around and saw Pippin standing by the door, clad in his Gondorian armor and with his Elf cape on, sporting a wide grin. Merry had woken up when he had closed the door.

"Pip?" Merry said quietly. "When did you..? How did you..? Who..?"

"Good news travels fast" Pippin grinned. "My scandalous older cousin, sometimes he surprises even me!"

"I should have known you would come."

"You've sure given folks something to talk about, father Meriadoc" his cousin grinned. "What's it like? To be there when your own child is born?"

"It's like magic" Merry said. "Come, have a look at her."

"Her?" Pippin said with wide eyes and hurried over. "I thought you only fathered lads nowadays, cousin dearest!"

"I decided to make an exception" Merry said with a smile.

"Oooh, she's adorable" Pippin grinned as he climbed on to the bed and crawled up next to his cousin to get a better look at the newborn. "Look at that hair! Look at her! Merry she looks just like you!"

"Poor child!" Merry chuckled. "Yes, her hair is remarkable, isn't it? Golden. It reminds me of Legolas…"

"What are you naming her?"

"Lúthien. It was Estella's choice."

"Lúthien. Little Lúthie Brandybuck! I've longed to have a little lassie around, Éowyn is growing up so fast!"

"Do you remember when she was born?" Merry asked. "How afraid you were! And the moment you met her you loved her."

"She's my daughter too" Pippin said. "Hopefully now that she's older she can come visit me at the Smials more often!"

"Surely she will. And in time, so will Lúthien."

Pippin nodded and gently caressed the newborn baby's head. The blonde curls were unusual, not too many Hobbits had that kind of hair, but it somehow fitted a lass with an Elvish name. Pippin had always pictured Lúthien being blonde, he pictured all Elves he had never met as blonde. The name chosen for the baby was perfect, an Elvish name for a lass with Elvish hair.

"She will be a heartbreaker when she grows older" Pippin predicted. "I hope she chooses her lad with care."

"Her lad? Peregrin Took, she's merely a few hours old! Would you let Lúthien be just my little daughter for a few years first, before you hand her away to the hoards of reckless, airheaded Hobbit lads luring out there?"

"Oh surely they won't all be that bad…" Pippin said.

"Well there will only be one son of yours to marry a daughter of mine" Merry said. "And I'm not so sure I'd trust any other lad than your Faramir with my girls!"

"That's unfortunate, for I'm not sure I trust your Éowyn or Lúthien with my boy" Pippin teased and nudged his cousin.

"Éowyn and Faramir will be an item some day" Merry said, ignoring Pippin's comment. "And they will unite our two families. We will have grandchildren together."

"Grandchildren, think not of such things now! We're still in the process of giving grandchildren to our parents!"

"No we're not, neither you nor me. Lúthien is the last, six is enough."

"Oh I'm not so sure about that" Pippin said. "You and Samwise both work hard to populate the Shire. And why shouldn't you? The more Hobbits descending from the Fellowship the better, that's the only way us Hobbits can live eternal life. Through children. And speaking of hoards of children, if Lúthien marries one of Sam's lads then the circle will be almost completed. And you wouldn't have to worry about your son-in-law being not worthy."

"I don't want to think about having son-in-laws" Merry said. "Éowyn is not even ten yet! Patience my dear Peregrin!"

"Who brought it up in the first place, I wonder?" Pippin said with a glare.

Merry yawned big and was overcome by how tired he was. Pippin's presence had kept him awake thus far but he realised he wouldn't be able to stay awake for much longer.

"You look exhausted" Pippin said gently. "Was tonight difficult for you?"

"It was the most amazing moment when I helped bring my own daughter into the world. But before that it was the most horrifying night! I shall never forget it, and I shall never have my wife in the birthing bed again. You're right, I am exhausted. If you don't mind I will just… drift off… for a while…"

Pippin gave his cousin a kiss on the cheek and rested his head against him. He would stay awake and keep an eye on the baby while the parents slept. Merry, squeezed in between Estella and Pippin, soon fell asleep. Pippin enjoyed the silence and looking at the parents and child felt like he was taking part in something very special.

"Meriadoc?" Estella's firm voice asked, waking Merry up two hours later. "What is Peregrin doing here?"

"What?" Merry mumbled and slowly got his eyes open. Estella was eyeing him with the baby still in her arms, and Merry remembered that Pippin was there.

"I asked you why Peregrin was here" Estella repeated.

"I'm welcoming the newest member of our family" Pippin said with a smile.

"I… would have hoped it would only be Merry and myself" Estella said.

"Yet here I am" Pippin said. "You know you won't get rid of me, Estella… Where there's Merry there's me. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter, and shame on you both for creating such a scandal with her birth."

Estella opened her mouth to testily reply, but Pippin's light hearted laugh cut her off. Merry just mumbled something and leaned back against his cousin, still exhausted. Estella couldn't be angry when she saw him like that, she realised that she had needed him to be there for her and be strong for her this night, and now he needed Pippin to pick up the pieces and recover his strength. It seemed natural somehow, even though they had for one wonderful night been only two in their marriage Pippin had now come as a silent reminder to her that she would rarely be only two in her marriage. Pippin was always there too, in one way or another. Unlike Diamond she didn't mind, it touched her heart to see her husband together with his cousin.

"Are you tired, Merry mine?" she asked her husband with a loving smile.

He mumbled something back and closed his eyes as if unable to keep them open. Pippin looked at Estella and grinned as if he found it all very amusing. Estella smiled back at him and leaned back down again. Pippin put an arm around her as well, or at least as much of an arm as he could stretch her way, and even though it was crazy she knew that he was right. This was their family, hers, Merry's and Pippin's. She should cherish the moments she had with Merry completely to herself for there would always be Pippin waiting to enter the scene. He and Merry somehow seemed to own everything together, including children, and while Lúthien's father went to sleep her other father cooed her gently and looked ready to burst with pride. It made Estella feel secure, she suddenly knew that her children would always have a father even if Merry was gone. Pippin would always love his cousin's children as if they were his own, as Merry would Faramir. Her children would never be alone or unprotected.

"Queerer family I have never seen" she whispered.

Pippin got a melancholy smile on his face. He had seen a much odder family, but the Fellowship was shattered now. Suddenly he longed for the southeast as much as Merry had for years.

This will be the last chapter before Christmas, most likely. The following two chapters are on my parents' computer as I wrote them in the end of summer and didn't bother to bring them to my college on a floppy disc since I didn't think I'd post enough chapters before Christmas. As promised the next chapter will have much less Estella and much more Pippin. Actually I'm pretty tired with Estella by now... What it's going to be about can be hinted in this chapter…

… Oh! And please leave a review =)