Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy. Joyce would be alive if I did, and well screw that.
Summary: It seems like everyone's forgotten her, but I never will. Buffy reflects about her mother's sudden death, the one person she couldn't stop from dying. Buffy's POV.
The Comfort of a Mother
I sat on the couch, the TV wasn't on or anything. Hell, I didn't even know how long I had been sitting there. My head was getting so hazy..God, I was gone. Somewhere else. I still don't know how a full week had gone by. Seven days, without her...
I could still feel her, sitting on the couch next to me. Her arm would be around me, her thumb stroking my shoulder, smiling, laughing maybe. Asking me what my plans were for tomorrow, asking if I was busy. Talking about Dawn, how much she'd grown this year. She'd ask how my friends were, how I was. It was just the little things that I loved about her. The way she'd smile when I told her how great everything was.
And suddenly that warmth was stripped away. More like ripped. I knew there would be a time where I couldn't "run to mommy" anymore, but not like this.
I adjusted myself on the couch, stretching my legs out and laying down, staring at the ceiling.
It's just.. It seems like everyone's forgotten about her. But I never will. I don't think I ever could, even if I want to some days. Maybe if I never knew what having a mother was like, I wouldn't care.
... I have no respect. That could never happen. I never want to forget her.
But I'm the Slayer. I don't understand how I can stop so many deaths, kill demons, powerful ones at that
and then a petty thing like cancer comes along and calls me out.
It cheated.
I am the cure. I save people everyday. People I don't know, and really don't even care about. And while I'm busy doing charity work, I don't even notice what I'm losing.
Maybe if I had been there none of this would've happened. Maybe this is what I get, for forgetting the ones who mattered most.
But I never did. I always, and always will love my mom.
Maybe there are some things you just can't take back. Some things that a stake and some almighty powers aren't good for. I could apologize for every fight we had, tell her how much I loved her, and it wouldn't have made it go away. Cancer was a force I had no control over. Had it be a vampire, my mom would be here now.
And now it's me who's been slain, by the work of fate.
And I'll never forget her, ever. My mom was an incredible woman, an Angel, I think. I wish I could have her back, I really do. But like most Angels, she belongs in heaven.