Author's Note: Happy New Year everyone! Just a few short notes before this chapter begins! I can happily announce that this one is more centered on Pippin! Getting kinda' sick of Merry now to be honest… ;) In this chapter I use the word mathoms but I cannot remember if that is the correct word or not. I sure hope it's what the Hobbits called their fancy items, but my memory isn't always the best. And also, I would give this chapter a slightly higher rating, for a part which is slightly more detailed that what I usually write. Just a heads up.
Disclaimer: You know the drill… I own oh so little!
I would also like to thank those who have stayed with me in this story and reviewed most chapters! I cannot tell you how much I value your opinions!
Hai – I'm sorry, but there won't be any stories from Gondor or Rohan in this chapter. But I can promise you, there will be later on. Any suggestions of what you'd like to see happen when they visit their old friends?
Xena - thank you for your always encouraging words. I'm glad you see the details in the chapters as something positive!
Sakura123 – of course I remember you =) Glad to see you're back! I would pronounce Lúthien [Luuuhthiehn] (some phonetics, huh? lol) with the u sound like in flute. I don't know if that pronunciation is the correct one though!
On with the chapter…
"Faramir!"
A gentle hand shook Faramir awake and he slowly rubbed his eyes before opening them.
"Wake up! Faramir!"
Suddenly it dawned on Faramir whose voice it was. He opened his eyes and looked into his father's. He was back! Faramir threw his arms around his father's neck and clung to him, near tears with joy.
"Father" he gasped. "Father!"
"Faramir" the beloved voice gently said and rocked him back and forth. "Faramir…"
"Is it morrow already?"
"No, it's late at night" his father said. "Merry stayed behind in Bree, but I didn't want to waste another day. I just arrived a few minutes ago and I had to see you and hear your treasured voice, my son."
"I was worried you had forgotten me!"
His father laughed.
"Fool of a Took! Not in a million years, you hear? You've been on my mind every minute!"
"I'm so glad you're home… And I know this will please mother!"
"I'm glad to be home too" the gentle voice said and gently stroke the back of Faramir's head. "Though I haven't been bored a day nothing has been able to cure my longing for my beloved ones. Now that I have returned I couldn't wait until morning to hear your voice and look into your eyes again, Faramir."
"Is mother woken too?"
"Nay. I'll let her sleep and surprise her in the morning. But I had to see my son."
"I'm glad you woke me! Will you stay with me until I go back to sleep?"
"Indeed I will."
Gently his father laid him down and then laid down beside him on the bed which had been too small for him a year ago and was even smaller now. Faramir breathed in the familiar, comforting scent of his father and closed his eyes with a content smile on his face. How he had longed for this! His father was his favourite person in the whole world and all he wanted was to be just like him. It hadn't been the same for this long year that had passed and Faramir could not count the endless nights he had lied awake wondering about his father and longing for him.
Peregrin gently caressed his boy's head, running his hand through the curls in Faramir's fringe, and humming gently a tune he had often sung his son to sleep with when he was younger. It never ceased to amaze him to look upon the child's face which was the spitting image of his own at a younger age. It was the greatest mystery of all to him, how there could be a young person looking exactly like him, his own son. The only thing which marked a different between the features of father and son was the hair. Faramir had his mother's hair and Pippin loved running his hands through it. He wished that he could have had a daughter who looked as much like Diamond as their son looked like Pippin.
The comfort of his father's presence soon lulled Faramir back to sleep, but Pippin was not sleepy even though he had traveled since early morning. The past days he had been filled with such a strong longing for home which had only gotten worse with each meter they got closer to the Shire. It was almost three in the morning but Pippin could stay awake for hours yet, content with just watching his son sleep. But when the cuckoo in the study across the hall announced that three hours had passed since midnight Pippin left his son with a gentle kiss on the forehead, and wandered down the hall to his own bedroom.
He paused in the doorway for a minute, drawing in the special smell that always seemed to fill the room where he and Diamond slept. He realised how in need of a bath he was, his clothes had been worn day in and day out for nearly two months and though it felt natural to him Diamond would wrinkle her nose and demand them being washed immediately. He hadn't washed up properly for three weeks and probably smelled like horse, road, dirt, sweat and a thousand other things. It almost made him hesitate for a minute before getting out of his clothes and into the warm, clean bed.
Diamond looked peaceful in her sleep, except for a small frown which Pippin had to resist the urge to kiss. His eyes filled with tears as he finally looked upon her precious face again and drew in her sweet scent. How he had longed for her, each day had seemed empty without her laughter and each night had seemed cold without her warm body pressed to his. Ever so carefully he leaned close and lightly brushed his lips against hers. He would let her sleep and have her be surprised in the morning. He had waited this long, he could wait another three hours. At least he got to be near her. He wrapped her long hair around him and fell asleep within minutes.
Diamond woke up at six, as she always did. From force of a habit which was still firmly rooted in her even though it had been a year, she reached out her hand for Pippin. She had always done so in the mornings, and rarely had she not found him there. She had always woken up before he did, he loved sleeping in, the few times when she hadn't found him there had been exceptions to the rule. But that seemed so long ago, for a year now she had reached out her hand and only found an empty bedside, cold without her husband's body there to warm it.
This morning her hand fell on a shoulder. Faramir. Sometimes her son would go to sleep in his father's bed at night, feeling closer to Peregrin when he slept in his bed, and other nights he would wake up and come crawling into the master bed when dreams or thoughts made it hard for him to sleep alone. She had not heard him come this night, mostly he would wake her up by mistake or will but every now and then she woke up in the morning to find her son on the half of the bed which had been empty when last she closed her eyes. The first times that had happened she had for a thrilling moment believed that it was her husband who had come back to her, only to find their son there instead. Nowadays she knew it was Faramir, a whole long year had passed and she was beginning to wonder if her love was ever coming home. A day apart was long as a year when you were in love, the thirteen months that had now passed were like a lifetime.
In a way it was a blessing that she felt this way. In her wildest dreams she would never have imagined that she would fall in love and after thirteen years of marriage still be head over heels in love with her husband, grieving for every hour they spent apart. She had been blessed with love and knew to appreciate it. But sometimes blessings could seem like curses, and that was what she had experienced during this long, empty year. By now she had stopped looking to the Southeast hoping to see her husband coming riding over the crest, and she hadn't read any of his letters in a while. It was too difficult, she would have gotten to the point where she thought she would be fine and then a letter would arrive for her by his pen. And all of her love and longing would be brought back with full force by his tender words, for nights she would lay awake unable to sleep alone. She had put the letters aside, they did her more pain than good. She still spoke to him sometimes in the long hours of the nights, telling him about Faramir and how he was growing, and about how their land was doing, and of her longing for him. It was a comfort, but it could not replace saying the words to his face.
With a sigh she drew back her hand and sat up. She had best go tell the cook to prepare breakfast, Faramir was every bit as skilled in the art of eating has is father and breakfast was all her son could think about when he woke up. Pancakes, eggs and fried tomatoes, just like his father.
She cast a glance at the lad in her bed and for a second wondered how on earth Faramir had gotten so dirty during the night. Then she gasped, seeing that not only was her bedmate dirty but he was also considerably larger than Faramir, a grown Hobbit. And his hair was not the same color as her own but darker and filled with the curliest curls she had ever known. She could not believe her eyes.
"Peregrin!" she gasped. "Oh Peregrin!"
Her loud gasps woke him, and her favorite eyes in the whole world were suddenly looking at her again, and the beloved mouth formed a smile of joy. He sat up next to her.
"Oh Peregrin!"
"Diamond of mine…" he gently said and reached out his hand to gently caress her cheek. How she wished he would continue to speak, let her hear his voice.
"You're back! It cannot be!" Still gasping she reached out her hand and placed on is bare shoulder, caressing the rough skin which carried month-old dirt and sweat. She didn't care. The sheets in the bed would have to be changed, but what did she care? He was here. "Oh Peregrin… When did you arrive?"
"Merely hours ago" he said, barely able to speak. He was so overwhelmed by her reaction and getting to be near her again, hear her again.
"Why did you not wake me?"
"We're both awake now, aren't we?" he said. "You slept so peacefully… So beautiful… All I needed was to see you."
With another loud gasp she threw her arms around him and pressed him as close to her as she could. She couldn't believe that she was actually feeling him again, that he was real and not just a wonderful dream which she would soon wake from, as she so often had done during the year now in the past.
"My Dimesy…" he gently said. "Oh to get to hold you in my arms again…"
She held him tight and he gently rocked her sideways while they both silently savored the moment. They were two lovers reuniting after far too long time apart, holding each other like they were each other's lifelines. Neither one ever wanted to let go.
Finally Pippin pulled back from the embrace and let his hand caress his wife's cheek and dry the tear that had fallen down it. He smiled tenderly at her.
"Dry your tears, Diamond Took" he said. "There is nothing to cry over. We are together again and our time apart is now merely a memory."
"There is much reason to cry" Diamond said. "But they are all tears of joy, these tears that fall down my cheeks."
Pippin's lips met hers and she felt a shiver run through her body. Moving as one they lay back down on the bed, Pippin's upper body on top of Diamond's, and their passionate kiss deepened with each passing second. Diamond let her hands run down his bare back and when she felt the fabric of his trousers her hands followed his sides back up to the strong shoulders. He was slimmer and more muscular now than when he had left, a year of traveling and serving his lords had improved his chubbying physics. She loved feeling his muscles move under his skin as he let his right arm move up and down her side, caressing her.
They broke from their kiss, both gasping for air and stared into each other's eyes for one crazy, passionate moment before Pippin's head lowered and began placing kisses down her chest and belly which was still in its nightgown. His hands found the hem of her gown and as she arched her back he lifted it up to reveal her skin. Instead of closing her eyes as she normally would she let her eyes follow him, unwilling to let him out of her sight for a second even. His mouth reached her chest and for the first time in her life she allowed herself to audibly react. During all their years together she had never let herself show just how much she liked him coming to her bed even though she suspected that sometimes little noises would pass from her lips and reach his ears. This morning she didn't care that a good lass should avoid letting her husband know of her pleasure, she had ached for his return for so long now and that he was there with her was all that mattered.
Her moans seemed to urge him on and she thought she had never experienced anything better than this. How could she have carried on for a whole long year without him? She would never let him out of her sight again.
She helped him out of his trousers and while mumbling her name in her ear, it was funny how he always seemed to have something to say when they were together in bed, he united with her in perfect bliss.
They were curled up next to each other, arms and legs still so tangled that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. Pippin held his hand on the back of her head and gently pressed it close, her lips pressing against his chest as if giving him the longest kiss of her life. Neither had spoken since Pippin had finally gone from words to just sounds, and in their silence they both rested while trying to figure out how to put what they were feeling into words. They didn't have to, they had expressed everything with their bodies already, but there was so much they had both longed to say for so long that they know felt a need to hear themselves say it. Only language seemed to have too few words to describe what they wanted to say.
Diamond could feel the beating of Pippin's heart, now slowing down and becoming calmer. She felt as if that heart was beating only for her and she hoped this moment, this morning, would never end. Pippin was in serious need of a bath and a good meal, and she should really get out of her soaked nightgown, but neither seemed to be aware of that. This time belonged only to the two of them, once it was found out that the Thain had returned there would be a hustle and bustle not seen in the Smials since last Peregrin returned from far away lands. In the eyes of Tuckburough the Thain belonged to them, and hoards of Hobbits would want to come and welcome their master back home. Those who he really belonged to, his wife and son, would have to accept sharing him.
"I wish…" Diamond said. "Wish this could last forever."
"It can" Pippin said. "And it will. I will be with you tonight again. And tomorrow morning we shall wake up together. Our time is what we make out of it, and I know I shall make the very most out of every minute with you."
"Please…" she said. "Stay here at the Smials for a few days. Don't go rushing off to Buckland at once, let us take care of you for a while, Faramir and I."
"I have no plans on going to Buckland" Pippin assured her. "There is nothing for me there as urgent as being with my two loves."
Diamond closed her eyes and smiled contently. She had for a moment worried that he would head off to Buckland and his cousin before she knew it, but for once it seemed as if he had had enough of his cousin for a while and could manage a few days parted.
"I love you, wanderer of strange places…" she whispered.
"And I love you, my gemstone…"
A soft knock on the door broke their solitude. Diamond reluctantly lifted her head from his chest and he broke the embrace to pull his trousers back on. It was well past the time when Diamond usually got out of bed, by now they must have figured she was ill and come to check on her. As soon as the door opened their secret would be out and Pippin would be whiskered away for everyone to greet him and fuss over him. The precious moment was over.
Pippin got out of bed and opened the door. Diamond relaxed with a sigh when she saw that it was only Faramir. She noticed that even though Faramir had grown during the past year he didn't seem to reach as far up on his father as he had before, but she realised she must be imagining things. Pippin kneeled down and grinned at his son.
"Has mother been surprised?" Faramir whispered.
"Yes" Pippin said, eyes glittering with joy. "She was much surprised."
"Can I come in now?"
Pippin let the boy in and closed the door. Faramir had a tray with food in his hands which he set down on his mother's nightstand. He had told his uncle, who was taking care of Pippin's duties while the Thain was absent, that his mother had requested breakfast in bed and was not to be disturbed. He too knew very well that the moment his father's return was known they would not get a moment together for a long time.
"Faramir you are a good lad" Pippin grinned. "I'm starving!"
"Faramir Took, is this any way to properly greet your father after his long absence?" Diamond asked her son firmly. "Not sending as much as a 'hullo' his way!"
"I already greeted father when he came home in the night" Faramir told her in an excusing tone and climbed up to her in the bed. "He woke me and I greeted him then. How did you think I knew to bring us all breakfast?"
Diamond's jaw dropped and she gave her husband an insulted look.
"You woke him up but not me?"
"Father wanted to surprise you" Faramir told her and crept down under the covers next to her. "You look warm mother" he added and placed a hand on her still sweaty forehead.
"I am nothing of the sort" Diamond snarled.
"Don't look so insulted, Dimesy" Pippin said with a loving smile. "Can you blame me for having to see our son the minute I got home? And keep in mind that I was with you for hours before we greeted each other."
"Peregrin Took!" she exclaimed, not knowing what to say to that and for once wishing Merry was there to help her out.
Pippin grabbed the tray and sat it down on the bed, right next to Diamond. He placed himself on the floor and began to examine what food had been brought to him this morning.
"Tomatoes… sausages… and pancakes! Son, you did well!"
"I would tell you not to eat in bed…" Diamond said. "But we need to have the sheets washed anyway."
Pippin smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her while working on a mouthful of tomatoes. She laughed at him and stole a tomato from the plate. All three then ate in silence, and even though it was a small breakfast it seemed to them like a great feast. It had been a long time since they had shared a breakfast together.
When every last bit had been eaten Pippin put the tray back on the nightstand and got up in the bed. He was beginning to feel how exhausted he was, but he didn't want to go to sleep now. He and Diamond put their arms around each other, with Faramir in the middle as they had done when their son was still a baby. They didn't say much, for not much was needed to say.
As long as he lived, Faramir would always remember that morning as one of the best in his life. The family together enjoying the moment, all three overjoyed with how they were finally together again, the three of them. Faramir had his mother's loving arms on one side and his father's strong, protective ones on the other, and the two adults each had one arm reached over to the other. As if a bar protecting him from what evil there was in the world he had his parents' arms resting over him and he could feel the love between the two of them. It made him feel special, he knew that he had forefathers who had been born out of duty and for the sake of the bloodline but Faramir knew that it was not those things that had brought him into the world. He was a product of love, and he had been surrounded by love all of his life.
An hour later Diamond had to get up, and near tears with love looked at her husband sleeping with their son still in his arms. Peregrin had come home, he really had come back to them. They were a small family, but this morning three seemed to be the perfect number. Just husband, wife and a child, together again at last. This was all she would ever wish for.
"Be sure to scrub good!" Diamond said to Pippin and kneeled by his tub. She leaned close and whispered teasingly in his ear. "Or else I might have to come and help you scrub."
Pippin grinned at her with longing in his eyes and with a laugh Diamond emptied the bucket in her hand over his head. Pippin spat water and shook his head with frustration.
"I'm sorry!" she laughed. "But darling all you need right now is to get cleaned up! I have never seen such a dirty Hobbit before in all of my days! You and Merry sure have lived as bachelors during your trip!"
"There weren't a lot of tubs standing by on the side of the road" Pippin commented and tried to get water out of his left ear. "Look at you Diamond, you're enjoying your little trick like a young mischievous lass!"
"It was too tempting to resist" Diamond smiled and ran her hand through his curls. "Look at you, you look like you've rolled around in the pig sty! I'm already filling up a second tub, this one shall have pitch black water before long!"
"You know that's an exaggeration" Pippin said, even though the water was already considerably more brown than it had been before he had gotten into the tub. "Though I shan't deny that a bath was exactly what I needed. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be clean!"
"And to smell good" Diamond said and teasingly wrinkled her nose.
"You didn't mind me smelling this morning" Pippin teased back and stuck out his tongue at her.
"And truth be told I don't mind it now either" she said and gently kissed him.
In fact she was quite pleased with him being so dirty and smelly. It gave her the chance to be all alone with him for a while, while he took his bath. Or baths, as it would most likely turn out to be. Pippin was enjoying the quiet moment together as mush as Diamond, he was still exhausted and weary and there was just a little too much commotion at the Smials at the moment.
"How does it feel to be back, then?" she asked him and grabbed a sponge. "Have you missed all these crazy Hobbits and the pile of work waiting for you at your desk?"
"Don't talk like that" Pippin said with a sigh and closed his eyes as she began to rub his chest with the sponge. "Don't remind me… That was a very nice change when I was away… While Merry was off with Éowyn I served lord Faramir. And while in Gondor I did my old shifts and duties and all I had to worry about was serving Strider and doing my appointed duties. Being Thain requires a lot of me making decisions which affect a lot of people and keeping an eye on all that goes on around here. Serving under Aragorn and Faramir all I had to do was what I was told to do. Mostly I served close to them, but a few times I had watch duties at the citadel or other tasks away from their sides. It was wonderful, it brought back memories and it made me feel young again." He grinned at his wife. "And I got to see Legolas and Gimli again. Fifteen years and more had passed since last we were together, but now I could see their beloved faces again! Legolas hasn't changed at all, though I believe I saw a few strains of gray in old Gimli's beard… He is after all well over 100, close to 150 I believe!"
"Sounds to me like you had a wonderful journey" Diamond said.
"Oh it was Dimesy, it was! I don't regret a second of it, even though I constantly longed for you and our Faramir. If only I wasn't torn between two worlds…"
"At least now you have new memories to cherish until the next time you meet them" Diamond said. "Get out of this tub now and move to the next, let me just fetch the last of the water. I cannot believe I let you sleep in our bed in this filthy state!"
Pippin obediently rose and waited for her to finish filling the next tub. He flinched at the hot temperature of the water in the second tub but managed to sit down and continue to wash himself. He looked up at Diamond as she kneeled beside him to continue giving him a sponge bath.
"It's funny though…" he mused. "When you're out on the road… you don't realize that it's been a while since your last bath and that all of your clothes are dirty."
"Dirty is a soft word… I'm thinking about having them burned!"
"Maybe it's because those you travel with are just as unclean as you are…" Pippin continued, ignoring her comment. "But you just don't think about it. Somehow it would feel wrong to walk around in clean clothes and be freshly bathed every single day."
"But now you're back home" Diamond said gently. "And the bachelor lifestyle has ended for now. Back to soap and water! Didn't your mother ever tell you that you'll never catch a lass unless you're clean and proper?"
"I already did catch a lass" Pippin smiled. He leaned closer to her and kissed her lovingly, putting his arms around her.
"Pippin" she complained, even though she much enjoyed the kiss. "You're getting my dress dirty! Keep your hands off!"
"But never did fountain sound so sweet," Pippin sang and obediently removed his hands from her clean white dress, "than splashing Hot Water with my feet!"
Accompanying the song he used his hands to splash up water on Diamond who gave a loud cry and found herself considerably more wet within seconds.
"Peregrin!"
"Now you have to take those wet clothes off anyway" Pippin said calmly and pulled her close for another kiss.
"Hopeless you are!" Diamond cried and squeezed the water out of the sponge over Pippin's head in revenge.
"Would you stop doing that?" Pippin cried and let go of her to move his wet curls away from his face. He couldn't see a thing with them sticking to his face like that.
"Sweet is vengeance" Diamond said sweetly and rose to her feet with a perky smile. But before she could walk over and grab a towel to dry herself Pippin managed to grip her arm and pull her down into the tub with a huge splash.
Within seconds the door opened and a wide-eyed maid stuck her head in to see what all the commotion was about. She gaped at how the Thain was roaring with laughter while his wife tried her best to get on her feet in the small tub. Her hair and clothes were as soaking wet as the rest of her and now it was her turn to not be able to see a thing.
"Madam Took!" the maid exclaimed. "Are you all right?"
"I am going to wring my husband's neck!" Diamond cried.
But Pippin only laughed harder and waved for the maid to leave them. With as much dignity as she could muster Diamond gathered her soaked skirts in one hand and tried to find balance as she lifted one foot out of the tub. Pippin grabbed her arm.
"Oh no you don't, my sweet!" he said. "You promised me a good scrubbing, remember?"
"I shall scrub you with a rock!" came the answer.
"No you shan't" Pippin said and tugged at her arm, causing her to lose balance again and fall down on top of him. "Be nice to your husband."
"He is not nice to me" she said.
"Oh I can be very nice…"
"This tub is not nearly big enough for both of us."
"It is if you sit in my lap."
With a sigh she gave in and let him have his way. She could not be mad at him for long anyway, she had longed far too much for his return. She grabbed the sponge and proceeded to get him as clean as possible while he worked on getting her wet clothes out of the way. She wondered how she would explain to Marigold, who was in charge of cleaning clothes, why her newly cleaned dress suddenly had to be cleaned again.
The next day Diamond and Peregrin took a long walk around the Smials, each with an arm around the other's waist. Pippin was eager to inspect the lands and Diamond unwilling to let him out of her sight for long. The grass they walked on was dry now, though it had been raining quite heavily the day before. Only in the ninth hour of the day had the raining ceased and a rainbow had adorned the sky before the sun began to end its daily journey.
This day the sun was shining, occasionally hiding behind the clouds, and the temperature was just right for a long walk. When they had only a mile left to walk they caught a glimpse of Faramir playing on the meadow with Diamond's sister Crystal's two sons. Pippin let out a content sigh but Diamond had a frown on her face.
"While you were gone…" she said, "my cousin Melco married Chanterelle Boffin."
"I didn't know that" Pippin said, only paying half attention. He was more focused on his son at the moment than who had married and who hadn't, he had yet to go through all the marriage licenses and other documents which tradition required that he looked at before they could be archived.
"Two months ago she died at childbirth" Diamond continued.
"Oh dear!" Pippin said, now giving his wife his full attention. "What a tragedy! My heart goes out to your poor cousin."
Without realizing it he pulled his Diamond closer to him. He had come so close to losing her at childbirth, he could imagine nothing worse for a husband.
"Melco has had his eye on Chanterelle for years" Diamond said. "Had you been here you would have much approved of their marriage. There was a lot of love there."
"I must go to Melco and offer my condolences" Pippin said. "Poor chap…"
"He's broken-hearted" Diamond said.
"No wonder! One day he had everything, and the next…"
"I have seen him a few times since it happened. And it breaks my heart… Melco has to wake up each morning and know that he is facing a whole long day without her. A lifetime without her in fact, but it is too hard to think about so he has to take it just a day at a time. And after spending a long, lonely day without her he goes to bed alone in a room where two ought to have slept. As he lays his head down on the pillow he knows that he will wake up alone again tomorrow and have to face yet another hard day alone."
"Blessed be that it was not our fate."
"I felt this year like it was" Diamond said. "Each morning I woke up alone, knowing that my love would not be there to share my day. Each night I went to sleep alone without the familiarity of your body next to mine. I've felt like a widow this year, Pippin dearest. It is something I would never have thought to have to feel with a husband alive and well!"
"Be glad that he is alive and well" Pippin said. "Each day you have known that someday I will be back."
"No matter when that day would be it would still be far from soon enough! Oh Peregrin, this year has been the emptiest of my life! I never want to feel like a widow with a living husband again! I should not have to feel that emptiness when my husband is very much alive and has his health! You must promise me, please, I beg you, don't leave again! Stay here in the Shire all of our days, and let my love be all you need. We are husband and wife, two people meant to spend their days together, not apart! What could you possibly need that you cannot find with Faramir and me? Let Meriadoc go, let him travel all around the world if he'd like! Your place is here with us!" She knew that she was starting to sound desperate, but she had to convince him to stay. "You must promise me, Peregrin! Promise me that you will stay!"
"I cannot make any such promise so don't ask me to" Pippin said and looked away.
"Why?" Diamond asked.
"For I belong not only to you and Faramir but to the fellowship! I need to see them, I must in order to keep from going out of my mind! Fifteen years I lasted, I cannot imagine how I did it! I cannot do fifteen more. And don't forget that I've sworn my duty to Denethor of Gondor and I am bound to that promise under Aragorn and Faramir. When they call I must leave. And as for Merry…" He sighed. "Where he goes, I go as well. I cannot promise you that I will stay in the Shire for all my days. I would become restless and unhappy and drive you out of your mind! However I will promise you this, that I shan't leave only because Merry might want to. When I leave it will either be by the summoning of my lords or by my own desire."
"Will you at least promise that you won't leave for a long time yet?" Diamond asked, not bothering to hide the tears of sadness and disappointment that fell down her cheeks.
"You have my word" Pippin said and stopped walking. He reached out his hand and dried some of her tears. "Dry your tears, Diamond Took" he said. "There is nothing to cry over. We are together."
"There is much reason to cry" Diamond said.
They walked in silence the rest of the way, this time with their arms to themselves. Diamond was disappointed and Pippin thoughtful. His thoughts were interrupted by a whinny and he looked up to see one of the Brandybucks approaching the Smials. The Hobbit was riding a pony and had Raven on a rope. This meant that Merry was home.
"Thain Peregrin!" the Hobbit called out when he saw Pippin. "Your things have arrived! And your pony."
"Diamond, I'll see you later" Pippin said and hurried over to the rider, reaching the stables at the same time.
Diamond looked at Pippin with sad eyes and stood as frozen for a minute. She had hoped he would be home to stay, but she now knew that he would never be home for good. She would always have to live with the knowledge that he could up and away within only a few weeks notice and be gone for a year or more at a time. He was a knight of Gondor, guard of the citadel, serving under Elessar King and Steward Faramir, bound to them by a promise he had made long ago, before he had a wife and a child, a promise made to repay a debt Diamond knew nothing about. But even if he had never sworn his service to Gondor he would still be leaving every once in a while. He had friends he needed to see. Diamond hated having to share him with Merry, she hated even more having to share him with people he hadn't even seen in years. How could he still be so bound to them?
She sighed and slowly walked back inside. She could only hope he would be home for at least a year or two before he left again. She looked out the window and saw him lift a giant pack of Raven's back. At least this time he was unpacking.
Pippin lifted the last pack from the pony's back and looked up at the Hobbit still holding the rope tied to the halter.
"So the Master's back?" he asked, knowing very well that if the Master wasn't back Raven wouldn't be back either.
"He's back…" the other Hobbit said. "He came with the rainbow. I thought Madam Estella would faint, he came riding on the Ice Queen! I mean…" The Hobbit slapped his hand over his mouth, embarrassed over having used the nickname in front of the Thain.
"She's not an ice queen anymore" Pippin said. "He rode her all the way to Rohan and back. Though she would never let me ride her."
"If I were you, Thain, I'd be glad" the Hobbit said.
"Go back to Brandy Hall with you" Pippin said and took Raven's rope. "Give the Master word from me, tell him all is well and I shall see him before long."
"He gave me word to you as well" the Hobbit said. "To tell you that all was well and you would see each other soon. We'll meet again at Brandy Hall, Thain!"
"Bye now" Pippin said and led Raven to the pastures.
That night Pippin couldn't sleep. Diamond was fast asleep next to him, but for months now Pippin had slept alone. He was always most comfortable without someone sleeping next to him, he wanted his sleeping space. The first night back had been an exception, he hadn't wanted to let Diamond out of his grasp, but now his mind was troubled and he needed space.
He carefully got out of bed and quietly put some clothes on. The room was dark but he didn't light any candles. He still knew every inch of the room even though it had been several months, and he could easily move around without any light.
He stopped at the door and looked at Diamond for a second. She had been very upset all afternoon, until Pippin had shown her and Faramir what he had brought from Gondor. He had a pack full of presents, gifts from him and from his friends, and it seemed as if Diamond had liked his friends from far away a bit more. They had sent great gifts to her and Faramir, and Legolas and Gimli had sent message that they hoped to meet Pippin's family sometime.
Flung over a chair were three Gondorian dresses which Pippin had had sown up in Diamond's size, one green, one red and one white. They were his gifts to her, along with some cooking gear which Rohirric craftsmen had carved beautiful patterns into. Resting on her nightstand were two beautiful bracelets made by Gimli, which he had sent together with a hair band made by Legolas. The Lady Éowyn had given Diamond a cup which Lord Faramir had drank from as a child, the cup was perfect size for a Hobbit and Éowyn had thought Diamond might enjoy owning something which had belonged to the man her son was named after.
Faramir had received lots of toys carved by Rohirric- and Gondorian craftsmen, and a ring made by Gimli. Legolas had sent an Elvish flute of his own making, and Pippin had brought his son assorted knickknacks he knew would please the child. Lord Faramir had sent several gifts as well to his namesake. Pippin's sister Pearl, who still lived at the Smials, had sighed and said she had never seen so much mathoms in one place, though Pippin had known she was in secret jealous that she didn't get any gifts.
Flung over Pippin and Diamond's bed was a quilt, so soft that one barely felt that it touched you at all. It was a gift from Aragorn and Arwen, woven by Arwen herself. Pippin felt pain in his heart knowing how long it would be before he would see his dearest friends again. At this moment he felt lonely, even though he was back at home where he had longed so much to be. For a year he had been surrounded by friends day and night, there had always been a member of the fellowship near him and he had always felt content. Now he felt lonely. There was something about the fellowship members which made them able to chase away any loneliness he felt.
Overcome with a sense of depression that he couldn't explain he walked through the halls of the Smials, feeling like he belonged nowhere. When he had been away he had longed for the Smials, at the Smials he longed for Gondor. He felt uprooted, he had no home. He had felt the same way all those years ago when he had returned from the War, but then Merry and he had settled at Crickhollow and it had become their home. Now Crickhollow was merely a distant memory of the best Shire days in Pippin's life, not even Fatty stayed there anymore since he knew the Masters of the house would not come back for summer. What had once been a warm home was now a cold, empty house filled with dust and above all memory.
Stepping outside into the chilly, drizzly night he pulled his cape around him. He hadn't even noticed putting it on, but it was such a habit to him since his journey. Arwen had sowed his brooch back on and now nothing could tug it loose save for the kind of necessity which had once torn it from it's place in the past. Clad in his normal Shire clothing Pippin missed his Gondorian armor, and his travel clothes. Diamond had burned them, she claimed nothing could get the dirt out of them, and perhaps she was right. But Pippin longed to put them on.
What was wrong with him? He was back home, he had his wife and his son, what more could he want? But he knew that family life was not for him, not in the way it could have been. There would always be a part of him that longed for more. Such a fool of a Took he was.
The year he had spent away from the Shire as a youngster had made him grow from boy to man, it had shaped who he had become and his entire life. He would never be the Hobbit that had left Bag End on September 23rd so many years ago, but he had spent nearly two decades of his life trying to pretend that he could. The year in the East with Merry had proven him wrong. He could not escape it, he would always be Peregrin, Knight of Gondor and member of the Fellowship of the Ring. It was a strange thought that one year could be impossible to forget or move on from even in two decades time.
He longed for Merry, longed for the comfort of his dear cousin. But more than that, in this moment he longed for Sam. Of the people he cherished from his journey, only Sam and Merry were within his reach, and he had not seen Sam in more than a year. He wished to see him, hear his voice and share memories with him. It would be lovely to sit down with Sam by the fireplace at Bag End, a pint of the Gaffer's old brew in one hand, talking about dear memories until the fire died out. But that was not to be, not this night. He wouldn't get to Bag End until morning, and even if he did ride out now he would be too tired when he arrived. Sam would lecture him on his irrational behavior and the reunion wouldn't be very pleasant. Not to mention Diamond would be furious with him for leaving in the middle of the night.
The days when Pippin could up and leave at heart's will were long over. He was bound now by love, he had forsaken his freedom to come and go as he pleased to marry the lass dearest to his heart. Sometimes he longed for his old freedom, even if he wouldn't forsake Diamond or Faramir for it. It was all part of growing older and accepting responsibilities, young people could come and go as they wished but as they grew older they got more duties which tied them down. It was the way of life, the energy of youth was gifted to those who were still in that phase of life where they could enjoy it. Only Pippin felt like that energy had not yet left him.
He walked up to the pastures and whistled softly. Raven came walking up to him and Pippin placed a hand on the pony's muzzle. It felt bittersweet to stand here with the pony who had gone with him to Rohan and Gondor and been a companion on the journey.
"Will the memories never give me any peace, Raven?" he asked the pony. "Am I bound to always look back in sorrow of the days I no longer have? Those days now in the past… The best of all the years have gone by, why can't I accept it?"
The pony snorted and puffed his master. Pippin leaned closer to the beast who had once been Merry's favorite pony, comforted by the animal. Perhaps he should just jump up on Raven's back, ride to Brandy Hall and talk to Merry. And then ride back again at daybreak, just in time for Diamond to get up, so that she wouldn't worry from finding him gone.
"No, I can't…" he told the pony. "Merry's asleep. And I don't want to bother him with my demons right now. If he's doing all right then I should let him be. I think this is how he felt before we left, Raven. For him the journey cured his longing for a time, for me it gave new fuel to the fire. A fire that I thought was slumbering… I had thought the once burning fire was now only an ember… Fool of a Took, I know. Some fires cannot be put out, no matter how much time passes. When I was young I used to talk a lot about forever, and my father would tell me that forever is such a long time. And time always changes things. But forever isn't long enough to put out the fire that is my longing for my friends. Just as I know that Legolas won't forget us, even though he will live until the end of time, I know that I will love my friends as long as I live. And there will be no cure for the longing save for seeing them." He paused for a few minutes. "But I still have the Shire. I have my office and I have a son, a son I love more than the earth and sky, and he is going to take over after me someday. I have to prepare him, have to raise him, and I'll raise him to be a good Thain. And I have his mother, who has got a piece of my heart and every day parted from her that part of my heart aches. I am torn Raven, there are two worlds but only one of me. What should I do?"
Raven offered no answer. There were no answers. It was his destiny to always stand between two lives, that was his deepest scar from the War. He had heard it said that those who returned from war without physical scars were those whose scars were the deepest and hardest to cure. And their wounds did not show on the surface, they were hidden but very real. For twenty years they had cast a shadow over Pippin's life, and they would continue to do so forever. Time could not change that.
"Thank you for listening Raven" Pippin said and patted the pony. "You've been a real good sport. Tomorrow I shall ride to Sam and talk memories until my throat goes dry! And then I shall try my best to give Diamond as much of me as possible. She deserves more than half a husband. While I'm in the Shire I owe it to her to give her all of me, for when I go to Gondor it is all of me that I take with me. All save for the part of my heart which belongs to her, and the part of me which lives in my son."
Earlier on the day before Pippin had walked with Diamond around the Smials, an unusually tall Hobbit had arrived through the Main Gates of Buckland, riding a horse which was known as impossible to tame and with another pony carrying a lot of packing, led by a rope.
Merry was let through the Gates, even though the gatekeeper at first had been hesitant. The Master had always been tall, but the person arriving at the gates was taller than the Master had been. The pony carrying the person, the infamous Snow White, stood calmly and waited while the gatekeeper talked with her rider, though the Master had tried for years to tame this pony with little progress. The rain was falling and the figure on the untamable horse was wrapped in a cloak and the hood darkened the face making it difficult to see the features of the face. He was chillingly similar to the Black Riders who had once terrorized the world. The gatekeeper had first wondered if it was an attempt to trick him, that someone had stolen the Master's horses and now disguised himself to get into the Shire.
But he had been told when he had arrived earlier in the morning that Thain Peregrin had past through the gates in a hurry late last night, and if the Thain had come home the Master was sure to follow within hours. Finally the figure on the pony had spoken, growing weary of the gatekeeper's suspicious eyes.
"What are you just standing there for? The rain is chilly, I do not long to be out in this weather anymore than you do, and neither do the ponies! Let me through! Don't you recognize your own Master Magnifico?"
"The Master never refers to himself that way" the gatekeeper pointed out.
"He just did" came the reply. "Now let me through you foolish Hobbit, or I shall have a pneumonia by the time I get home!"
"You're too tall" the gatekeeper said. "And that pony can't be tamed!"
"Obviously it can" Merry replied. "And when I first came back from the East I was taller than when I left, why is it so difficult to believe that I could grow taller once more after a visit to the East? I am Meriadoc Brandybuck, son of Saradoc Scattergold, and though I appreciate your careful guard over who gets let in and who does not I am also very wet and cold. Ride back with me to Brandy Hall if you must, let my wife and children identify me for you if you do not trust your own eyes, but let me through now or you will be demoted to cleaning the pig sty."
Finally the gatekeeper let him through and Merry continued toward Brandy Hall. After a few minutes the rain stopped and the sun came through the clouds. Merry pulled back his hood and smiled at the sight of a rainbow welcoming him home. He was close now, soon he would be back home. Pippin hadn't been able to wait, and right now Merry didn't want to wait either. Home never seemed further away then when it was just beyond reach.
As he got closer to Brandy Hall he noticed a small figure running on the meadows, head in the sky, trying to catch up to the rainbow and find where it touched ground. A huge smile appeared on Merry's face.
"Oh, Lucky!"
The child stopped when he heard his name and looked up at the tall figure on the horse. A wrinkle appeared on his forehead but after a few seconds he turned his frown upside down and ran over to the pony and rider. Merry swung from Snow White's back and lifted his youngest son up for a hug.
"Lucimac… How dear it is to see your face!"
"Good afternoon, father!"
Merry laughed and lifted the boy up on the saddle, in front of where Merry himself would sit. He was surprised that the boy had recognized him, he had only been three years old when his father had left. Merry could see that the child had grown during the year that had passed. It was good to be home.
"Éowyn mind your sowing!" Estella exhorted with a glance at her daughter. Éowyn was never going to finish her quilt if she kept looking out the window more than at her sowing. "You must learn to mend and sow, you have been avoiding it for years. Now keep your eyes on your sowing and away from the window."
"Mother I can see…" Éowyn began and squinted her eyes. "I can see something!"
"If it's your brother chasing the rainbow then send Théo to get him! He's going to catch another cold going on this way!"
"A pony and rider… Two riders! And two ponies!" Éowyn squinted more and tried to see who was coming. Then she threw her sowing to the floor and ran off.
"Éowyn!" Estella exclaimed. "What in the world?"
"Father's home!" Éowyn cried and hurried towards the door.
Estella rushed over to the window and looked out. With a gasp she dropped her own sowing and then followed Éowyn.
Outside, Merry had just gotten off Snow White's back when the round front door of Brandy Hall flung open and Éowyn came rushing out. She cried out for her father and with a laugh he opened his arms to hug her. Éowyn nearly knocked him to the ground with the force in her hug, she was thrilled that he was finally home again. She had missed him terribly, probably more than anyone else had, even her mother.
Merry looked up and saw Estella standing in the doorway, with Aramac and Théodoc next to her. The lads had heard Éowyn's cries and rushed to the door, but neither made a move as long as their mother stood as frozen. Merry gently let go of Éowyn and smiled nervously at Estella.
"Madam Brandybuck!" he said. "Lady Holdwine! Do you not have a hug and a kiss to greet me?"
"What is Lucky doing on the back of that pony?" Estella said, eyes wide with shock.
"She's tame now, I tamed her" Lucky said, happily taking the credit for the pony's behavior. Unbeknownst to him, the people around who overheard thought he was telling the truth and that he actually had tamed the wild pony. His comment that morning set of a chain of rumors and events which would lead to the later claim that Lucky Brandybuck was magical.
"It's all right Estella" Merry said and lifted Lucky, who protested, from the pony's back. "Snowy carried me to Edoras and back. She's a whole different pony. Now where is that hug and kiss, pray?"
Slowly Estella stepped down to the path leading up to the door, and even more slowly she approached Merry. For a minute she looked at him as if determining whether or not it was actually him, then the two embraced and shared a passionate kiss.
"You're home" Estella whispered with tears in her eyes. "You're home!"
"Have another ale, Fatty!" Merry said at the inn two weeks later. "On me!"
Fatty happily accepted and began working on his third tankard for the evening. He had met up with Merry and Pippin at the inn earlier in the evening to celebrate that the two travelers were back home.
"I think you owe him more than just a half-pint of ale for taking care of Buckland for a year" Pippin said. "Order us some pie!"
"I'll order Fatty a pie" Merry said and laughed.
After the first commotion had settled when they had reached the inn, the three friends had retreated to a quiet booth in a corner. It was the perfect place to talk without having to share the conversation with the entire room.
"It is good to be home" Pippin said with feeling and took another sip of ale. "Gosh, I have missed Dimesy and Faramir so much that I think I almost went mad."
"Take it from me, you did go mad" Merry grinned. "Those last few days before we got home I thought you would throw a fit! Though I must agree with you cousin, it is absolutely great to be home. To see wife and children again. The smallest ones have grown so much! I couldn't believe my eyes!"
"The two of you have grown as well" Fatty remarked.
"Here, here! To the Entwash!" Pippin said and clinked his tankard with Merry's. Then he frowned slightly and looked at Fatty. "Hey Fredegar, you've never married, don't you miss it? Having a wife and children, I mean."
"No" Fatty said. "I am past my prime, I shan't marry."
"Now don't say that" Merry said.
"I don't want to marry either" Fatty said. "It's not for me, anyhow."
"But don't you miss it?" Pippin asked, not understanding how anyone could say no to a family of their own. "Don't you long for a wife to love you, and children?"
"How can I miss what I've never known?" Fatty asked. "What I've never longed to know! I see Hobbits in love and how they act ridiculous and sometimes forget all about things that used to matter to them. All they care about is their beau. I don't want that to happen to me. And how can I miss a loving wife when I've never had one? I've never known the pleasures of the marital bed and I won't have to compromise with someone about everything."
"But what about children?" Pippin asked, with eyes that were by now big as plates.
"But I have children" Fatty said. "Six little Hobbits who are related to me by blood. I've followed my nieces and nephews from first smile and will continue to follow them until they're grown."
"But that's not the same" Pippin said. "They're not yours, only your sister's. Hers and Merry's. It's not the same. I love those children as if they were my own, but there's still something special about Faramir."
"Don't you miss being a father?" Merry asked. "To look at a child and see yourself in him or her? To hear them call you father?"
"No" Fatty said, and looked away. He didn't want to tell Merry that Lúthien had called him 'dada' during the past year. "I don't miss it. The way I see it, I get all of the great things but none of the bad things. I don't have to take responsibility for their well-being like you do, and I don't have to tell them off when they've been bad. Nor do I have to sit with them when they're ill or put them to bed when they're kicking and screaming."
"… But you'll never be their dada" Pippin said.
Fatty drank his ale and avoided to answer or to look at his brother-in-law. Pippin and Merry shared a look and then shrugged their shoulders. They felt sorry for Fatty who didn't know what he was missing out on, but if he didn't wish to marry then that was up to him.
Late that evening Merry and Pippin rode home together, slowly crossing the plains of Buckland. They had taken a detour and were headed for one of their favorite spots, a hill which overlooked the Brandywine. They rode in silence for a while, both feeling a little tipsy and hoping that the unusually cool summer air would clear their heads a bit.
"Have you realized…" Pippin said after a while. "It has been two weeks since we've seen each other. And we've been just fine."
"Hm?" Merry said and looked up. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say?"
"I wonder why Fatty doesn't want to take a wife" Pippin said, moving on to the next subject. "How can anyone say no to that?"
"It's not for everyone" Merry said. "Some see love and marriage as a prison. Others simply don't have the ability to love. Fatty has chosen not to marry and we can only accept it."
"But he will be awfully lonely when he gets older."
"He'll have his friends" Merry said. "Perhaps for him that's enough. In any case, it is wiser not to marry at all than to settle for less than love."
"I hope Faramir will marry…" Pippin said.
"Faramir will have to. He has to carry on your bloodline."
"Sounds like a heavy responsibility" Pippin said.
"The same as you once had" Merry pointed out. "And I."
"I hope he'll marry Éowyn" Pippin said. "My Faramir and your Éowyn. They would make a lovely match."
"Indeed they would" Merry agreed.
"It is so good to be home" Pippin sighed. "And to know right now that I am riding home to a wife's loving arms. Dimesy and I have been like newlyweds since my return." He blushed. "It has been very nice indeed."
"I'm happy for you, Pip" Merry said.
Merry's return hadn't been quite so romantic. It hadn't been at all what he had expected. He and Estella hadn't gotten to be alone at all for three days, as Éowyn had insisted on sleeping in their bed to be near her father. When they finally had the third night to themselves Lúthien had walked in on them and screamed at the top of her lungs, thinking that her mother was being hurt. Estella had sat with her for a long time and calmed her down, but Merry had painfully realized that his youngest child had forgotten him. Lúthien didn't remember her father, she had only been fifteen months old when he had left, and now she was afraid of him. He was tall, strong and a huge authority figure and in Lúthien's eyes he was frightening.
Nearly a week after his return Merry and Estella had finally gotten to spend a night together with no interruptions, but the next morning Lucky had woken up with a cold which demanded Estella's full attention. It had been two strange weeks, and Merry was glad that they were behind him. Things had finally started to calm down at Brandy Hall, people weren't fussing about him as much anymore and he had finally managed to sort out the worst of the mess created by Fatty in his absence. Luckily Sam had sorted out most of it while Merry was still gone, but all of the papers and documents were in one big mess and it had taken hours to sort everything out.
They reached the hilltop and halted their beasts. The sun was setting and the Brandywine was reflecting the reds and yellows and pinks of the setting sun. The trees were leafy and some still in bloom, the grass was green and the evening fair. It was a perfect night in the Shire.
"Do you recall the sun setting over Ithilien?" Merry asked.
"Aye. It's been less than six months."
"I used to think I would never lay eyes upon a fairer sunset than that of the sun setting over this hilltop in spring and summer. But that was the past of an ignorant youth."
"Once you've seen the world from the citadel of Minas Tirith or the lands of Ithilien it's never quite the same, is it?" Pippin said and sighed deeply. "Oh how I long to walk those lands again. But we must stay here now, at least for a few years. I thought I was going to go mad the day after my return, the Shire seems so small compared to the lands in the south. I was going to visit Sam and talk memories until my throat went dry, but I didn't. Now I wish I had."
"Mayhaps it is you and I who should never have married, and not Fatty" Merry said. "For we belong to Gondor and Rohan as much as to the Shire. What are we offering our wives, Peregrin? A few years with us, then long times apart?"
"It is better to give them all we can when we can" Pippin said. "For they would rather share half our upcoming years with us than spend all of someone else's upcoming years with that person. Love works that way, and love demands so little and so much. It is a need which will never go away, yet it takes nearly nothing to satisfy that need. So let's satisfy it while we can, and believe in love that survives all time and distance while we're apart."
"Wise words" Merry said. "Let us hope they're easy live by."
"They're not. But the price is worth paying."
"Always torn between two needs…" Merry sighed. "Wife and family on one hand… Éowyn and Rohan on the other. What do you say Pip, should we move to the south with our families? Make it easier."
"That's not something to even jest about, it only makes the longing to do so worse" Pippin said. "You and I both know that the lands of men aren't for our wives. Nor our children."
"I shouldn't worry about my friendship with Éowyn" Merry said. "I know for sure now that it can outlast any time and distance. Life is brief for man and Hobbit, yet when it is spent friendship will continue to live forever."
"The very special friendships do" Pippin said softly.
"It's a good thing we're carefree Hobbits" Merry said. "Able to put sadness aside and smile. Life has not been the same for us since the War, and it never will be. Not ever will it be the same again. We just have to live as Hobbits as much as we can. Do you remember what Frodo Baggins said? That the Shire had been saved, but not for all? At the time I thought he meant for all but him, but we all saved it for all but ourselves. Neither you nor me can be completely happy in the Shire."
"Let's go south again" Pippin said. "Not this year but next! Let us spend every other year in Gondor and Rohan!"
"No" Merry said. "We can't."
They both sat in silence for a while and watched the sun shine it's final minutes of the day. The evening seemed chillier now.
"Two weeks…" Pippin mused. "Two weeks apart and I haven't felt compelled to ride and see you. Strange it is, once I couldn't go by a day without wanting to see you."
Merry nodded slowly. It was indeed strange. His friendship with Éowyn was strong and ever in bloom, though sixteen years had parted them before. Now the friendship which he who had always been within his reach seemed to have outrun its course.
"We've grown apart" he mumbled quietly to himself as the sun disappeared from sight, quiet enough that Pippin wouldn't hear.
But Pippin did hear. And all the world seemed to have gone dark at that moment. He looked at his cousin with fear like a lump in his throat. Had Merry meant what he said? Suddenly Pippin felt he was shuddering, and not even the cape around his shoulders could warm him.
I'm going back to college mayhem, so I don't know when the next chapter will be up. It's written, but I think I've screwed up my timeline a bit and I need to sort it out and possibly re-write half! But stay tuned, and please keep reviewing… =)