After making sure Ben had left with Olivia, I turned to Fin and Elliot. "Anything new?" It had become the norm; I brought in Ben, he left with Benson or Stabler, I asked whoever was left if there were any new leads in the case.
Elliot shrugged. "Talked to the hotel again. They don't have anyone suspicious on the cameras, anywhere. We checked and rechecked all the employees. We looked over the guest list, but no one had priors in Baltimore."
"So he changed his name," I said.
He shrugged again and Fin said, "Yeah, but what to? And even if you were to look at a picture of him, would you remember him if you had arrested him back in Baltimore?"
"You think I'm incompetent? Can't recognize a guy I collared? Even if it was a few years ago?"
"Look, John, no one's saying that," Elliot tried.
"Let me look at the tapes. You guys never see anything useful anyway." I stood up and looked expectantly from Elliot to Fin and back again. "Well?"
Elliot sighed and looked sidelong at Fin.
"Don't look at him, he can't answer for you," I said.
"Hey, don't talk to me like I'm some perp. I know you're grieving and trying to take care of your nephew, but chill." Elliot stood up. Snapping out his hand, he pointed to the room next to Cragen's office. "Have fun."
I looked at him for a moment and remembered the last time I had really gotten angry with him, and protective over Amy, and we had wound up holding onto each other's jackets as he tried to calm me down. Without thinking on it anymore, I followed the direction of his finger and went into the room, slamming the door shut behind me. I threw around some equipment, not hard, but enough for Fin to come in.
"Hey, man, he's right. Calm down."
I glared at my partner for a minute before going back to setting up the tape. I pulled out a chair and sat down, hard, pressing the 'play' button on the remote.
"We've been over these a hundred times. If there was something there, we would've caught it."
I ignored him and finally he left. Hours passed as I went through the tapes, but I didn't notice. I was so intent on the faces and actions of the people in the security tapes that days might have passed by and I wouldn't have noticed. I heard the quiet creak of the door and the outside noise get louder, and then another creak and the noise was
dimmed. "Any luck?" a soft voice asked.
"Not yet. You?" I hadn't looked up.
She sighed. "No."
I continued to watch the television and the slightly blurry people moving across it.
"Fin told me that you seem a bit stressed out. You all right?" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that her hands were in her pockets.
"Fine." It came out sharply and I hit the 'pause' button as I sighed myself and closed my eyes.
"You don't look like it," she said, quietly. "You look like you could use some sleep."
"I never knew raising a kid would be so hard. I mean, I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't know it would be this hard. I mean... I don't know what I mean." I pushed up my glasses and pinched the bridge of my nose. "You're right," I finally ceded. "I could use some sleep."
"Why don't you go up to the crib? I'll watch Ben."
I shook my head. "I don't want him to be around here more than necessary. He's seen too much already."
"John, it's not a sure thing that he saw what happened."
"Like hell it isn't. Look, I know he saw it happen. Trust me?"
She was quiet for a moment before a small, "Okay."
"I've got about an hour left on this tape. I'll come out when I finish." I looked up at her and she nodded. "I promise." She nodded again. I turned back to the television and punched the 'play' button as I heard the noise increase, then decrease again as she left.
"Hey, John... c'mon, go up to the crib," I heard someone say.
I looked up, glasses crooked, the picture of exhaustion, and the first thing I saw was the paused security tape staring at me. "Him," I mumbled.
"C'mon, man. Up to the crib," the voice persisted.
"Nah, that's him." I adjusted my glasses, the sleepy feeling quickly wearing off. "That's him." I pointed at the television.
Fin finally looked at the screen.
"That's him. I arrested him back in Baltimore for murdering his brother. He got convicted. Twenty to life." I ran my hand through my hair. "He must have appealed. No way he got out on parole." I stared at the screen for a moment more before getting up, pushing my chair back harder than needed. "I gotta call somebody." I left him standing looking after me as I went into the squad room.
Time to get in touch with someone from murder police, about fifteen years ago.
Better than going nowhere.