Author's Note: This is really an uneven chapter. The first half (roughly) is devoted to one storyline while the other half is devoted to another. The second storyline is pretty much just setting the stage for a plotline which won't be introduced for a long time yet, and will probably seem irrelevant right now. So bear with me, if you get through the second half you'll get a pretty big clue to what next week's chapter will be about!
I also want to say a huge thanks for all the response I got on last week's chapter! Thank you all for reviewing, your comments helped me a lot! Though I must have done something wrong, for you weren't supposed to dislike Éowyn. I was actually worried that Pippin would come off as self-absorbed! Goes to show you can never really judge your own writing… =)
Disclaimer: The same, JRR Tolkien owns most of the characters and all of the places.
"I found an apple left over from last harvest" Diamond said and held a large red apple up in front of Pippin. "I'll trade it for a smile."
Pippin smiled slightly and reached for the apple. Diamond pulled back her hand so that he couldn't reach it.
"A real smile, Pip."
A slightly wider smile appeared on his face.
"You're a tough salesman" he said. "We could use you at the market."
Diamond wasn't as amused. She was very concerned for him and had been for months now. With a sigh she put the apple down on his desk.
"Don't you think it's time to smile now, Peregrin? Six months have gone by…"
It was February, unusually gloomy both outside and inside the Smials. Pippin had tried hard to live as he had promised himself he would but he was failing. He had not the heart to sing, laugh or jest and winter had never seemed so cold and dark before. He hadn't seen much of Merry since August, he avoided him when he could. He was sure that his cousin was doing just fine, and that thought made Pippin bitter.
He hadn't truly realised how strange and empty even his social life would be after the break with Merry. Suddenly they only attended the same parties when duty called for it, and when they were there they tried their best to ignore one another. They never visited Bag End at the same time, which meant that they couldn't celebrate all the birthdays that took place there. It put a restriction on their lives that neither felt comfortable with.
"How are you feeling?" Diamond asked with a worried glance and sat down on Pippin's desk next to the apple. "You look even more down in the dumps that normally."
"It's Lúthien's birthday soon" Pippin said after some hesitation. "I don't think I will be going to congratulate her. I want to, I want to so much, but I know that me being there will only make things odd and ruin her birthday. I never thought I'd lose the children when I lost Merry."
"Visit her in the evening then" Diamond suggested. "I'm sure she wants a visit from her favorite uncle on her seventh birthday."
"Fatty's her favorite uncle" Pippin pointed out. "He's actually her only uncle. I'm her cousin once removed. Though I like the sound of 'uncle' better."
Diamond handed him the apple and tousled his curls. He rewarded her with the closest he would get to a genuine smile and she rose to leave him alone with his work. He had a lot to do, as usual. Spring and fall were crops season, winter and summer paperwork season. He always had something he had to do.
If only he would cheer up a bit. But Diamond knew he wouldn't, not for a long while yet. She was making up her mind more and more, things could not go on this way. Pippin was depressed and she knew Merry was not much happier. She had spoken to Estella at the last party they had been to, and her former friend had confirmed her suspicions. Diamond found it very foolish that both of them would walk around feeling low, it was time someone did something about it.
She still hated Pippin's friendship with Merry, more for each year that went by, because she knew there was no way around it. Either they were together and she barely saw Pippin or they were apart and he was sad. After all the two had meant to each other she couldn't believe that their problem was unfixable. She knew both were trying to move on with their lives and stand on their own, but both she and Estella had seen that it just wasn't working.
It grieved Diamond that the split between Pippin and Merry affected other people so much. She and Pippin had been great ever since the night at Crickhollow when she had heard him sing again, from that night on it was like their marriage had been revived. She had begun to hope that he would be okay on his own, he hadn't seemed so down over his problems with Merry anymore. But then the definite break had come and after that Pippin had drawn into his shell and was impossible to reach the way she had reached him before. She missed him, she wanted her husband back.
"Diamond this was a bad idea" Pippin moaned and hung his wet coat up to dry.
"Nonsense" Diamond said. "Would you rather be out there in the rain, dear? It was either Crickhollow or Brandy Hall. And remember that we can stop by there on our way back to the Smials, and you can congratulate Lúthien."
"If the weather will be good enough for travelling" Pippin sighed and looked out the window. "It's only getting worse by the minute. It's a storm by now! Dimesy why did we have to come here? Why did we have to leave the Smials, we had a nice warm fireplace there, not to mention we were dry!"
Diamond didn't answer. She hung her own coat up to dry next to Pippin's and went ahead to light a few fires. Pippin groaned and sat down by the kitchen table. He had not been to Crickhollow for well over a year and didn't like spending damp and chilly winter days there for no apparent reason. But Diamond had wanted to go out for a while and for some reason they had ended up at their old home when she began to freeze in what had by now become a storm.
Pippin remembered the last time he had been at Crickhollow very clearly. It had been for the celebration of September 22nd a year and a half earlier. That time they had had a good time together, the Tooks, Brandybucks and Gamgees. Last year had been quite different.
Two days before the annual celebration Merry had gotten ill again, not as bad as before but bad enough to put him into bed. Estella had complained that the only reason for his illness was that he didn't look forward to spending a family night together with Pippin, but nothing she said had helped. Sam, who at this point hadn't known what was going on, had suggested that they celebrate at Brandy Hall so that Merry could take part in the festivities anyway. Estella had helped Merry out by saying that it wasn't a good idea, he needed to rest, and so she ended up sending the children to Bag End and stayed home with Merry that night. She hadn't wanted to cover for him but she had realised it was the best thing to do at that time. He was still weak from his illness and she didn't want him upset. She had told him however that she thought he was being very silly, to which he had only replied that staying home would be better for him than going anywhere, and he did indeed need his rest.
When Diamond returned to the kitchen Pippin was still sitting by the table, twirling his hat around his finger. He looked bored. She tried desperately to come up with something to say, but suddenly the door opened and helped her out.
"Who in all the world?" Pippin wondered and rose to see who it was that came in such lousy weather.
In came Merry, shaking his head so that water flew in all directions from his curls. He looked up and saw Pippin and Diamond and looked just as shocked as Pippin. Then he bowed slightly and hung off his coat.
"What in the world was so important that I had to ride out here in this weather, on my daughter's seventh birthday?" he asked Diamond.
"Diamond?" Pippin asked, sounding very unpleased.
Diamond took a firm grip of Merry's arm, then did the same with Pippin and strode off with them toward Pippin's old study.
"I am sick and tired of how you two are bickering" she said.
"We're not" Pippin objected.
"You have barely spoken in six months!"
"I believe bicker is a form of speaking" Pippin said in a cheeky tone.
"You two are going to sit down and talk, and you are going to work this mess out" Diamond said. "Stop acting like children and stop running!"
"Do we have to do this now?" Merry asked. "Estella's expecting me back!"
"No she isn't. I've already talked to her about this, Estella is just as sick as I am of you two moping around."
"I do not mope!" Merry objected.
"Oh yes you do. You need him just as much as I do, we both know so. And when you're not with him you mope."
Pippin rolled his eyes and wondered where she was going to drag them. Right now he was quite angry with her, he did not like having something like this sprung on him. This would in no way be helpful.
"What is the meaning of this, might I ask?" he wondered.
"To stop this madness" Diamond answered. "You are both acting like immature children and I have had quite enough of it."
"It is not your problem" Pippin objected.
"That's where you're wrong Peregrin, it is my problem. It has always been my problem. The two of you come as a set, and right now everyone is suffering because of your silly behavior. So fix it and give the rest of us some peace!"
"Diamond I really don't have time for this" Merry objected. "It's Lúthien's birthday today. I have to get back to the Hall."
"Well then you'd better start talking" Diamond said and let go of Pippin to open the door to his study. Then she shoved Merry inside and Pippin after him. "You are not leaving this room until you are friends again. Is that clear?"
"Diamond it doesn't work that way!" Pippin complained as she slammed the door shut. He took a deep sigh and plunged down in his chair.
"You married a tedious one, didn't you?" Merry muttered.
"That was low" Pippin grumpily replied.
"I don't have time for this nonsense" Merry said and grabbed the door handle. However he couldn't get the door open. "She locked the door! I cannot believe her!" He banged angrily on the door. "Diamond!"
"Why do you bother?" Pippin asked. "She's already halfway to the kitchen."
Merry replied something quite less than polite and angrily banged his fist on the door. Pippin ignored him and curled up in his chair. He had a feeling he would be stuck in it for quite some time, it was only good sense to get comfortable. Merry however had no intention of sitting down and getting comfortable.
"Does she think this is a way to solve anything?" he growled and began pacing back and forth by the door.
"Apparently so" Pippin said indifferently and began filing his nails.
"All that is going to happen is that we're going to be stuck in here all day long, hungry and thirsty and still not speaking when we get out of here!"
"Perhaps she is hoping we'll start speaking of how we hate being stuck here" Pippin suggested without caring too much.
"Will you stop being so indifferent and get off your bum and help me?" Merry snarled.
"Help you do what?" Pippin asked. "Growl the door open? You might as well realise it Merry, we're stuck here until she changes her mind."
"Can't you win her over when she comes by?"
"Try sneaking out the window instead, it's much simpler."
"Oh you're a funny one, aren't you?" Merry rebuffed, knowing very well that the window in Pippin's study didn't open.
"She won't let us out in her current state of mind, so what's the use in getting all worked up about it?" Pippin asked.
"I'll tell you what the use is!" Merry said. "I have a birthday party to attend! I can't be stuck here all day with you!"
"Thank you" Pippin said, hurt by the last comment.
Merry moaned in frustration once more and continued pacing. Pippin ignored his further comments, not in the mood for even small talk. Merry continued to growl and gruff and bang the door every now and then, after fifteen minutes Pippin was ready to strangle him. But he didn't move from his chair and he didn't speak. Merry would eventually realise that Diamond was not going to come and open the door just because he was angry. When she had her mind set on something it was not easy to change it.
Three long hours passed. It was time for elevenzies and Diamond prepared some sandwiches for the two lads, figuring they would be hungry. She hadn't heard Merry for two hours now and she hoped that would be a good sign.
She fished out her key and unlocked the door. Pippin and Merry looked up when they heard her coming. Pippin was still curled up in his chair, filing his feet in lack of better entertainment. Merry had parked in a chair with a high back, which happened to be turned so that the back was facing Pippin. He sat in that chair with his arms crossed and an unusually grumpy look on his face, but brightened slightly when he heard Diamond come.
Diamond entered with her tray and Merry flew to his feet, ready to make a break for it. Diamond saw what he was up to in the corner of her eye and gave him an icy look.
"Sit down again!" she commanded.
Out of sheer surprise at her command Merry halted and obediently sat down in his chair again. Diamond put the tray down on the desk in front of Pippin and looked from one Hobbit to the other. It was obvious that no improvements had occurred. Keeping in a sad sigh she left and locked the door behind her again.
"You sure made the most out of that opportunity to escape" Pippin said maliciously and grabbed a sandwich.
"Be quiet" Merry sighed and went over to get some food and one of the tankards. "Seriously Pippin, how long will she keep us here?"
"Why are you asking me, I don't know!" Pippin said.
Merry angrily sat down again and began to eat his food. Right now Diamond was on his list of people he didn't like. He couldn't stop thinking about his daughter and the birthday party he was missing out on. He could only hope Diamond would come to her senses soon and let him go back home.
"Oh what a day to be stuck here…" he sighed. "Lúthien's birthday, I should be at home! I promised I would be there and I don't go back on my promises."
"Congratulations, that makes me so proud" Pippin snided from his chair, having his own bitter memories of when Merry had indeed gone back on his promises.
"Oh would you like to be stuck here on Faramir's birthday?"
"I wouldn't leave home to go to Crickhollow to meet someone else's wife on my son's birthday, thus I wouldn't end up in a situation like this."
"You make it sound like I came out here for a rendezvous!" Merry objected.
"Oh Diamond would never" Pippin said calmly and grabbed another sandwich.
"But I would?"
Pippin shrugged his shoulders. Merry growled once more and ignored his cousin to focus on his meal.
Another two hours passed. Once more Diamond came with food, this time meat and potatoes. This time Merry tried a different approach to getting to leave.
"Dimesy…" he said. "Won't you let me leave? What good is going to come of me missing Lúthien's birthday party?"
"Don't call her Dimesy" Pippin said. That was his nickname for her, he didn't want Merry to use it.
"The best thing you can do for your daughter is to work out your problems with her uncle" Diamond said to Merry and put the tray down on Pippin's desk.
"She has only one uncle" Merry pointed out.
"By blood perhaps. But you know she loves Pippin as an uncle. Not strange, considering that you two have been brothers most of your life."
"What do you want from us?" Merry wondered.
"I want you to open your eyes and realise what you're doing! I want you to talk to one another! How can you be so cold toward each other after all that you once meant to one another? How can you be so blind as not to see?"
Pippin looked up from his food and gave her a sad look. She wanted everything to be fixable nice and easy but things just didn't happen that way. He felt very bad for how he had let her take the hit for what had happened between he and Merry but at the moment there was nothing he could do more than promise not to let it affect her from this point on.
"Ever since I met you I have been told how your bond is special" Diamond continued, sounding frustrated. "And you have always been right about that, you know it! You are like one, that is your destiny and you can't escape it no matter how hard you try."
"Things are different now" Merry said. "We have been here for five hours and not the slightest progress. We just can't get along anymore Diamond! It is my daughter's birthday today and I really don't want to miss it, especially not for something this futile!"
"It's not futile!" Diamond objected.
"For five hours have we been locked up in here and we haven't said as much as two kind words to one another" Merry said, desperate to get her to see that he needed to leave. "It's not going to happen Diamond, so you might as well just let me go!"
Diamond looked at him with sad eyes and saw how much he wanted to go. She had thought that forcing them together on Lúthien's birthday would be effective, that Merry would be in a hurry to go and thus not want to drag anything out. But she had been wrong, the gap was indeed much greater than she had thought.
Turning on her heel she stormed out and slammed the door behind her, filled with disappointment. Merry groaned when he heard the door lock again. It was hopeless, he would never get out of this old study.
"That last part was unnecessary" Pippin said in a low voice, sounding sad.
"What would you have had me say then?"
"I just feel so sorry for her" Pippin said. "Did you not see the look on her face? I have failed her in far too many ways and even now I can't deliver. I'm really lousy at returning all the love she gives me…"
Merry didn't comment. He remained seated in his chair as Pippin ate in silence. After a few minutes the smell of the warm food became irresistible to Merry's Hobbit stomach and he got up and walked over to the desk. He pulled up a chair and sat opposite Pippin, and they both ate in silence.
Once the meal was finished Merry threw his napkin down and leaned back in his chair, determined to get to go home.
"Let's get this over with then" he said. "Let's talk and make her happy and then we can all go home."
"It's not that easy" Pippin said. "She doesn't want us just to talk, she wants us to be friends again. She's always had a thing for wanting the impossible…"
"But if talk we must then let's talk!" Merry said and shrugged his shoulders as if it didn't matter what they would talk about. "Do you have anything you want to say to me?"
"Other than that you've slobbered all over my desk?"
"I'll take that as a no" Merry said and rose. "And I don't have anything I want to say either. We're off to a great start."
Pippin ignored him and cleaned up as well as he could on the desk after his cousin. Merry paced back and forth and Pippin understood why Estella hated when he did that. It was in truth very annoying.
"Come on now Pippin" Merry eventually said. "She's your wife! You must know some way we can get her to let us out of here!"
"She's sick and tired of us" Pippin said. "Don't you get it? Through me her happiness has always been dependant of you! She doesn't want to have a bad home life anymore because her husband suddenly had a major change in his life and hasn't quite adjusted yet! She wants everything to be fixed neatly and nicely by simply going back to the way things were before!"
"But it can't, can it?"
"You always were the bright one" Pippin sarcastically replied.
Merry sighed deeply and sunk back down in the chair he had spent several hours in already. The situation was not only very annoying but also seeming more and more hopeless.
"Let's not beat around the bush anymore then" he said. "If she wants us to talk about what happened this fall then let's do just that. We can't go back, but perhaps we could at least clean the wound so that it doesn't get infected again."
"What happened this fall was pretty plain" Pippin said. "You went back on all you've ever promised me and you forsook me."
"Why am only I to blame?" Merry asked. "You're the one who made the ultimatum!"
"Because I couldn't keep having half a friendship! I needed to know!"
"And did it feel better when you stormed out on me before I got to answer you?"
"You did answer. Before our last trip to Gondor you would have chosen me in a heartbeat and we both know it. Your hesitation was answer enough."
"Why couldn't you accept that we had grown apart?" Merry asked. "It didn't have to be this way Pippin!"
"Maybe not…" Pippin said. "I thought a lot about what you said the night we had our argument, that growing apart was not the same as ending the friendship. And you were right. But understand that I can't settle for less than a full friendship. I can't be only grown-apart friends with you, to me that's a mockery of how close we were all my life!"
Merry was quiet for a moment. Pippin saying that he agreed with something Merry had said during their big fight had taken him by surprise and for a moment he didn't know what to say.
"But what did you want from me?" he asked after a few minutes. "I couldn't help what had happened anymore than you could."
"Yes you could" Pippin said. "Because you were the one who put words to the situation. I would never have thought we were grown apart unless you had said so! And that planted a seed of doubt in me which led us eventually to that fight we had."
"But it wasn't meant like that" Merry said. "I only said it once, and you weren't meant to hear it! You should have said something then and there, that way all of this could have been avoided. Instead you had to drag it out until it became a huge problem and it killed our friendship."
"Love may come and go, some relatives die others are born… But true friendship, that is forever. Come what may" Pippin said and glanced at Merry. "Words of a poet that I used to know."
"What the heck did I know really?"
"You know what?" Pippin snickered. "Maybe you were right about something else. Maybe we need to be apart. Maybe all we ever did the last ten years was hold each other back. Make that twenty years."
"What makes you so sure all of a sudden?"
"Because although we claimed we had such a healthy friendship we both knew it wasn't so. We were both too scared of losing the other that we set aside problems and things that upset us, and let them grow inside of us."
"What are you talking about?" Merry asked, thinking his cousin had gone mad.
"Do you have any idea how hurt I was when you took Estella?" Pippin asked. "Good lord Meriadoc, I loved her! And then you came and stole her away from me, and all I could do was accept it. I was so scared of losing you that I never even lashed out at you for that betrayal. You did a very ugly thing Merry, and I let you. Did you ever stop to think how I felt through that ordeal? Do you think it was easy for me to see her with you? Do you think it was easy for me to see you wed? How would you have felt if she had suddenly left you for me?"
"That's ancient history" Merry said. "You couldn't possibly be upset about that still! You have Diamond now!"
"Of course I can still be upset about it!" Pippin objected. "I loved her and I lost her to you. And I let it happen because I didn't want to lose you. I never allowed myself to be mad at you no matter what you did to me. What a sissy I was, I completely let you run over me. But yes, I have Diamond now. And I love her more than I loved Estella, much more!"
"You make it sound as if I hurt you and you never did anything to hurt me" Merry objected and got on his feet again. He began pacing back and forth once more. "You kissed my wife. She was the mother of three of my children and you kissed her! But I forgave you, did I not? I didn't yell at you, I let it pass! I forgave you just as you've forgive me."
"And we've both been wrong in doing so. We haven't been completely honest with each other for decades, not since Estella Bolger came into our lives! She was the beginning of our end. For we couldn't let a lass come between us, we were the Inseparable Two! If you looked for Meriadoc you could count on finding Peregrin as well, and vice versa. We were so scared of falling out with each other that we forgave and pretended that we forgot. But the truth is we haven't forgotten. And it's eaten away at our friendship with each passing year. We cannot be friends for we are not honest with one another. That's what the problem is."
Merry didn't say anything. He grabbed the chair he had been sitting in and turned it around so that it faced Pippin. Then instead of sitting down in it he began to pace again.
"So that's it then?" he asked. "We can't be friends anymore for that reason?"
"It all started with Estella" Pippin sighed. "You know, I'm glad I ended up with Diamond. I loved Estella very much but Diamond is even more special. She's got a personal energy instead of Estella's physical energy. Estella is quite dull compared to Diamond."
"Watch what you say!" Merry warned. "Whatever you say about my wife you say about me!"
"Merry, you're dull" Pippin said.
"No I'm not!"
"You have been dull for as long as I've known you. Where's your fire? Where's your passion? If it were up to you you would have spent your entire youth staying home and behaving nicely. You never wanted to do anything fun unless I suggested it."
"That is not true" Merry objected. "The most un-dull things I ever did in my life I did without you being there!"
"You mean war? Merry, that was not about being dull or not, that was about fighting for what you believe in. It's different. It was forced upon you not initiated by you."
Merry sunk down in his chair.
"Hey Pip… I have to ask… During these six months, have you missed me?" He waited for an answer but didn't get one. "You've seemed like you've been fine, like even though you're upset over our breaking you've been more relieved than anything else."
"I am relieved" Pippin said. "Relieved that there's no more tiptoeing around things. To tell you the truth, as horrible as it was it felt good to fight with you. I needed to fight with you. I needed to feel that I could be mad at you, nearly hate you even."
"So you haven't missed me?" Merry asked. He sighed. "For lord knows I have missed you." There was a long pause. "I have been mad at you too, of course. But at the end of the day I still missed being part of Merry and Pippin."
"I did miss that" Pippin admitted.
Merry thought about it more and more and slowly came to realise what he really felt. It had taken him months, but now he finally felt like he knew.
"I just don't think we can ever be truly apart" he said. "No matter how angry we are. We are one you and I, we belong together, we're as… as two trees that share their roots! It's like a jigsaw puzzle with only two pieces. And I am forever your friend. When apart we miss each other, for we are one."
Pippin nodded slowly.
"Yes, I guess we are, on some level. But I can't go back to the way things were, I can't! I will suffocate! I need to be able to yell at you when I'm mad, turn my back at you for a while when I'm hurt and try to stand on my own two feet once in a while. For fifty-five years I've based my whole identity on you and never stood on my own without you. Only once, during the War, and do you know something? I have never grown more than during those days! And frankly I have never felt such a rush of independence. I was out there, on my own, only Gandalf to lean on and frankly he's not the most supportive person in the world. I was terrified, had had never been more scared in my life, yet it felt great because I did it! On my own! I need to be on my own now too every once in a while, or I will get stuck and never evolve. I need to not be with you as much. I've tasted independence and I cannot go back to being chained to you!"
"Perhaps you can have too much of a good thing" Merry nodded.
"So if you want to still be friends, let's be friends. But I will not go back to the way things were. I want to be able to be angry with you from time to time."
"How about a fresh start over?" Merry suggested. "The old friendship of Merry and Pippin, that's the past. From now on we're friends, not best friends, just friends. And we'll see where we go from there. You will have your space to grow."
"I don't know if I can" Pippin said. "I don't know how to be anything other than your best friend. Being 'just a friend' is impossible."
"Then let's not put a label on things. Let's just do what we feel like and see what happens. That's how we ended up best friends to begin with. If that's not acceptable to you, then I don't know what you want!"
Pippin nodded slowly and rose from his chair. He had been sitting down for more than five hours straight, his legs were asleep and he needed to move around a bit. He looked out the window and raised an eyebrow.
"It's stopped raining" he said. "Looks like the storm is over."
Diamond braced herself before she unlocked the door to bring the lads their afternoon tea. She wondered how long she would have to keep them locked up like this. She was determined to keep them there for as long as it would take, but she longed to leave and go back home. She had absolutely nothing to do while she waited for the two to make friends again.
To her surprise she found Merry and Pippin huddled in the chair Merry had been sitting in earlier, both silent but looking calm and at peace. Pippin had his head leaned against Merry's shoulder and seemed to be close to drifting off to sleep. Diamond nearly dropped her tray but managed to set it down on the desk without spilling.
"Can I go home now?" Merry asked.
"I see you two are nicer to each other now" Diamond noted.
"Yeah…" Pippin said. "But Diamond, things aren't back to the way they were. You're not looking at inseparable friends."
"Just bored friends" Merry sighed.
"I'm not following…" Diamond said.
"You were right about one thing, we do belong together" Merry said. "Like birds of a feather, or sun and moon."
"But things are too complicated for us to just start over" Pippin said. "No amount of time locked up in here is going to change that. Time heals all wounds, all we can do is wait and see."
Diamond nodded slowly.
"All right then… Merry if you have somewhere to go, go."
"Thank you!" Merry grinned and flew to his feet. He was out the door before Diamond could say another word.
Diamond looked at Pippin and wondered what he was feeling now. He was emotionally exhausted, that much was obvious, both he and Merry were. But he looked lonely even though he and Merry said they had buried the hatchet.
She walked up to him and sat down in the chair, taking the spot Merry had vacated. Pippin leaned his head against her shoulder and she gently kissed the top of his head.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"I'm not sure. I've never felt this way before. But I will be okay. The relationship he and I once had is gone, I need to accept that now. I'm not out of the woods yet. It will take just a little longer, but I promise I won't be a pain. It's time that I start to live for myself and through myself, instead of through him."
"I'm sorry things had to be this way" Diamond said.
"Me too."
He sighed deeply and buried his face in her neck. She put her arms around him and pulled him close, holding him like she had held Faramir when he was younger and had fallen and hurt himself. There was something even more lonesome about Pippin now, but she had to believe that he would be fine again. She knew she would be to support him every step of the way. Merry might have left, but she never would.
It was almost time for Lúthien to go to bed, but she was resisting as much as she possibly could. She didn't want to go to bed so early on her birthday of all days, and Estella dreaded when she would have to get her ready for bed.
Merry had returned a few hours ago, without saying anything about how things had gone during the day. Estella had figured out that it was Diamond's plan that had kept him away for so long, now she wondered if it had failed. She couldn't tell what her husband was feeling, she had expected either great joy or sadness but he seemed indifferent.
There was a knock on the door to the sitting room, and Fatty went to open the door. He seemed very surprised and slightly nervous to see that the surprise guests were Pippin and Diamond, on their way back to the Smials, and glanced nervously at Merry to see how he would react.
Merry didn't react at all. He had more or less expected it. The rest however seemed very surprised, they hadn't expected visitors from the Smials. Lúthien quickly got over the surprise and ran into Pippin's arms for a birthday hug.
"Uncle Pippin!" she exclaimed. "I knew you would be here! I wished it!"
"You didn't think I would miss your birthday, did you?" Pippin smiled.
Lucky quickly followed his sister's example but went to hug Diamond instead. He had not seen her for months. Diamond lifted him up and jokingly complained that he had gotten so much heavier since the last time they saw each other.
Estella tried to get eye contact with Diamond to get an answer to how the day had gone, but Diamond only had eyes for Lucky at the moment. Estella looked over at Pippin and caught a look and a smile he exchanged with Merry. She relaxed and smiled slightly. Though things were obviously not as they should at least the worst was over.
Pippin grinned at Lúthien and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. It felt good to be there, good to be her uncle again.
"We have to do something about this" Pippin complained three months later when he, Merry and three of the children reached Bag End. Rain had surprised them on their way and they were all soaked. "The road between here and home is too long whenever bad weather decides to surprise you!"
"And what do you suggest we do then?" Merry asked. "Bring umbrellas?"
"No…" Pippin whined. "Something better than that. There really ought to be an inn somewhere on the road, where one could stop, have something to eat and drink and dry up!"
"Who would want to build and manage an inn that would only be used by us once or twice a year?" Merry asked.
"I don't know, perhaps someone with your positive attitude" Pippin snided.
"Pippin's right" Sam said and hung up Faramir's coat to dry. "Somewhere along the road there ought to be some place with a little shelter."
"Where?" Merry asked. "There's no good spot to build an inn."
"Does it have to be an inn then?" Sam asked.
"Anything with walls and a roof would do for me" Pippin said.
"So you're suggesting we build a cottage there, so we can use it when bad weather surprises us?" Merry said sarcastically.
"Precisely!" Pippin said and snapped his fingers. "Splendid idea, old friend! A cottage is exactly what we need!"
"Where could one possibly--"
"There's that glade ten yards into the woods, about halfway between here and the Smials" Aramac pointed out.
"That's perfect!" Pippin said. "A cottage there, where we could keep some food, a fireplace, and perhaps a small stable for whatever animal you're riding!"
"Pippin…" Merry sighed.
"It's a good idea, Merry" Sam said. "Wouldn't it be nice to have someplace to find shelter in case of bad weather? It only sounds like good sense to me!"
"We've been fine without a cottage in the middle of nowhere for fifty years" Merry pointed out.
"Maybe" Sam said. "But when was the last time you brought Lucimac with you here, save for on September 22nds? You don't bring him in case the weather would change and he'd come down with something."
"Perhaps, but--"
"Great!" Pippin said. "It's settled then! A cottage there, we can build it this summer!"
"That sounds like a great idea" Sam agreed. "We could all use a little time outdoors. And it would be a great opportunity for the lads to practice the fine art of house building."
"I won't be needing it!" Aramac quickly said. "I'm going to be living at Crickhollow."
"So will I!" Faramir said. "So I don't have to build!"
"And I'll be living with them!" Cordy said.
"Now wait just a minute" Sam said. "Everybody is going to help."
"Look what you've done" Merry moaned to Pippin.
"Cheer up" Pippin grinned. "A little hard work will be nice for a change. I haven't lifted a finger outdoors for two years, other than supervising."
Merry groaned once more. He didn't want to build a cottage and he most definitely didn't want to have to spend most of summer doing it. But Pippin and Sam had already hurried off to Sam's study to plan the build. Sometimes there was just no stopping them.
A month later the work on the cottage was far advanced. Sam and Merry's daughters, all except Lúthien and Primrose, had cleared the glade of roots, bushes and other things that would be in the way for the build. Then Sam, Pippin and a reluctant Merry had begun working on the cottage. By Midsummer's Eve they had gotten roughly one third of the way with the exterior.
Up until then they had worked on their own, but on Midsummer they decided to get the children more involved. Soon Merry's two oldest sons as well as all but Sam's two youngest were hard at work. Toward the evening Rose, Estella and Diamond came out with picnic baskets and the rest of the children. Pippin, who was seemingly practising the fine art of balance on what would become the stable roof, saw them first.
"Lovely!" he cried. "Here comes food, ale and some great company!"
"And above all, a chance to get some rest" Merry sighed.
"Now don't be crabby, Meriadoc!" Pippin said and began to wave happily with both arms to the approaching carriages.
"Pippin!" they could hear Diamond shouting. "You get down from there right now or you'll slip and fall!"
"What?" Pippin said and pretended not to be able to hear. "I can't hear you!"
"Merry get him down from there!" Diamond shouted.
Pippin grinned and began balancing his way across the two beams that were going to be the foundations of the roof.
"You're going to give Mother a heart attack" Faramir said.
"Just so long as she doesn't find out you want to get up here too she should be fine" Pippin said and wobbled a bit.
"Pippin!" Diamond shouted once more.
"You'd better come on down from there" Sam said. "She'll get mighty mad if you don't!"
The carriages stopped by the side of the road and Merry Gamgee hurried off to tend to the horses. Éowyn however only let him take care of the pony driving Rose's cart, she preferred taking care of the Buckland pony herself.
"Careful!" Merry said as Lúthien and Robin Gamgee came running into the glade. "There might be nails on the ground. Keep over there, by the rucksacks, for now, until we've made sure the ground is safe."
"You don't want to step on something sharp" Théodoc told his younger sister and lifted her up. "Do as Father says."
"Peregrin Took!" Diamond angrily said as she strode into the glade with a picnic basket in one hand and Bilbo in the other. "Don't make me come up there and get you!"
"By all means do" Pippin said and continued his balancing act.
"Pippin please" Estella sighed and came into the glade, also with a picnic basket in one hand and a child in the other.
"Just let him stay up there" Merry said. "That only means more food for us."
"We're eating now?" Pippin said. "In that case I'll be down in a minute!"
He sat down on the pole and in a very lithe way swung around so that he was hanging with by his knees with his head down. He grinned at Diamond's upset cries and as pliable as an Elf he got down on the ground.
"I suppose you think that was very funny" Diamond said grumpily when he walked up to her.
"Indeed it was" Pippin said and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Now what goodies did you bring us Dimesy?"
"None for you" Diamond said. "You don't deserve any food after that stunt!"
"Mother, it's not that dangerous" Faramir said. "The worst thing that can happen is that you fall down."
"Faramir remember that you're a Hobbit" Diamond said. "Hobbits and heights do not go well together."
"So don't you go climbing up there again!" Lúthien said and shook her finger at Pippin.
"If you ask me sweetheart, then I won't" Pippin said and sat down next to her on a blanket.
"Great!" Lúthien said and handed him a tiny goat made out of rocks and sticks. "Here, I made this for you."
Sam and Frodo went back to the carriages to get the last baskets with food, both hungry enough to eat the ponies as well. The build was going well, but it was work that woke an appetite. They were both glad to get a chance to eat without having to ride back to the Smials or Bag End.
"Look at this, this is a feast!" Pippin Gamgee exclaimed and began to investigate what was in the basket his brother handed him. "Pies, cakes… Mushrooms!"
"Those are for dessert!" Rose said. "Leave them alone, young lad!"
Pippin obediently left the basket alone and scooted over slightly to make room for Éowyn who had just secured the pony by a tree in the edge of the glade. Young Merry came right behind her and sat down as well.
"Let's see now…" Pippin Took said and begun searching through another basket. "Now this is what I call a proper meal out in the woods! I only wish we had a fire so we could roast this corn! But the fireplace in the cottage is not even half-built yet."
"You've made fires out in the open before" Sam pointed out. "Stop getting your hands all over the corn and come help me build a fire."
"This is a lovely surprise" Merry said to the lasses. "I didn't expect to see you out here!"
"Well it is Midsummer's Eve" Rose said. "We thought you could use a feast."
"We've earned it" Aramac said with feeling.
"You, young lad, have worked for a day" Estella said. "Think of your father, he has worked for over two weeks. How is your back, dear?"
"It's fine" Merry said. Ever since his fall from the pony his back had been bothering him in bad weather and when he worked too hard. Estella worried that working on the cottage would put too big a strain on him. She knew his back caused him pain almost every day even though he didn't let it on.
"I can tell you what isn't fine!" Faramir said. "My stomach! I'm starving!"
"Faramir, you're always starving" Éowyn said.
Faramir grinned at her and she tossed him an apple from one of the baskets. Eventually they managed to unpack most of the food and begin their feast. Pippin and Sam got a fire going and before long they were roasting popcorn and some of the meat over an open fire. While they ate the sun slowly began to set. By the time they were done it was not long until dusk, which came late in summertime.
"This would be a good time for a story…" Cordy said with a glance at his father.
"Yes! A story!" most of the children agreed.
"I love storytelling by a fire out in the wild" Merry said with a smile. Lúthien crept up in his lap and pulled his hair.
"Well then tell us one, Father!"
"Okay then" Merry said. "How about a story of the Midsummer Rides in Rohan? You see, in Rohan, where the Horse Lords live, they each Midsummer have lots of races with their horses."
"Yes, that will do" Lúthien decided.
Merry laughed and ruffled her blonde curls.
"I'm glad that it suits you, my legolass" he said, using the nickname he sometimes called her because of her blonde hair.
"On with the story" Éowyn urged on, knowing how easily her sister could sidetrack people.
Merry told them of the annual races held in Rohan, and then Rose told them one of her favourite stories. When she was finished Estella took over, followed by Diamond and Sam. By the time Sam had finished his story of how the eagles saved Bilbo, Gandalf and the dwarves the sun had almost set completely. It was only two hours until midnight.
"Now it's your turn, Peregrin" Diamond said. "What story do you have?"
"It's getting late actually" Estella said and looked at the setting sun. "Perhaps we should be getting back to the Hall."
"No!" all the children complained. "Just one more story!"
Pippin glanced at the setting sun and ignored young Robin who was sitting in his lap and tugging his arm to make him tell a story. Faramir followed his father's glance and wondered what was so special about the setting sun all of a sudden.
"What happens when you die?" Lucky suddenly asked, and everyone went quiet.
"Must we talk about such things?" Rose asked after a minute and pulled her scarf around her as if she suddenly was cold.
"But I want to know what happens" Lucky said.
"Nobody knows" Sam said. "If you're an Elf you go to Valinor. But not even Gandalf knows what happens to us."
Pippin kept looking at the setting sun and remembered something Gandalf had once said to him about what happened after life. Not knowing why he did it he sang a few lines.
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass
"What does that mean?" Cordy asked, only to be shushed by his father.
"Well that was Pippin's story" Rose said and rose to her feet. "Now all children under the age of fifteen are coming with us, either to Bag end or the Smials. It's time for bed."
"That was not a story!" Bilbo objected.
"It is tonight. And now it's off to bed" Rose said.
"But it's not even midnight yet!" Daisy complained.
"It will be by the time we get home. Now hurry Daisy! Take Robin with you."
"No fair" Daisy sulked.
"Mother can I stay longer?" Aramac asked.
"No, you ought to get into bed soon so that you've got lots of strength for tomorrow" Estella said. "The cottage still needs to be built then!"
"Okay…" Aramac sighed.
Rose, Estella and Diamond quickly rounded up the younger children as well as the blankets and baskets while Éowyn and Merry Gamgee went for the ponies. Before long they were off in their carriages, only Éowyn, Faramir, Frodo, young Pippin and Goldilocks remained with their fathers. Sam, Frodo and Pippin Took went and got a log for them all to sit on by the fire and together they watched the sun set.
"Does the setting sun look the same in all lands?" Faramir asked.
"You haven't really seen the sun set until you've seen it set over Minas Tirith" Pippin said sentimentally. "It is like seeing it set over ivory mountains… The sight is remarkable! Compared to that, sunset here is nearly boring."
"I wouldn't say that…" Merry objected. "And personally I think I prefer seeing the sun set in Fangorn Forest. The lighting is incredible."
"No, the best sunset is the one in Ithilien" Sam objected. "When you're by the Forbidden Pool and watch the sun set… That is the most beautiful sight!"
"We could argue about this all night" Pippin said with a smile. "I guess the truth is that sunset is different at each place you go to. And we all have our own favorites."
"Sing something more, father" Faramir prayed.
Pippin was quiet for a long while trying to decide what to sing. He couldn't think of anything that fitted on this night. Eventually he sang the first thing that came to mind, a song Legolas had taught him a long time ago.
An Elven-maid there was of old,
A shining star by day;
Her mantle white was hemmed with gold,
Her shoes of silver-grey.
A star was bound upon her brows,
A light was on her hair
A sun upon the golden boughs
In Lórien the fair.
Her hair was long, her limbs were white,
And fair she was and free;
And in the wind she went as light,
As leaf of linden-tree
As Pippin continued to sing, the youngsters one by one were rocked to sleep by his voice. When Pippin's song had reached its end only himself, Merry and Sam were still awake. They shared a look and together began to quietly sing the song Sam had written ten years before in honour of Frodo. The children slept peacefully, not knowing that they were missing out on tales more exciting than anything they had ever heard before.
When the sun began to rise again, two hours after midnight, Pippin, Sam and Merry woke the young and got them up on the carriage they had taken there early in the morning. Then they got up on their own ponies and quietly headed back to the Great Smials to spend the night.
Merry sat down by the breakfast table with a gloomy look on his face. It was early one August morning. Estella walked in, in a hurry as usual, and got as far as filling the kettle with water and placing it on the stove before she noticed the look on his face.
"What's the matter, dear?" she asked.
"It's Stybba" Merry said sadly. "He died sometime during the night. I just found him out in the pastures…"
"Oh darling…" Estella said with sympathy. "I'm so sorry! Unfortunately, I've got some other bad news."
"Do I want to hear it?" Merry sighed.
"Lucky and Lúthien both have fevers" Estella said. "And Théo seems to be coming down with something too."
"Great" Merry said with another sigh. "How bad is it?"
"You know Lucky…" Estella sighed. "If something's going around, he catches it. But Lúthien has not been sick a day in her life, I hope that isn't a sign of something serious."
"Is anything particular going around?" Merry asked and rose from his seat.
"Rose said that Bilbo and Robin were ill."
"They probably caught it from them, then" Merry said. "I'll go see how they are doing."
He hoped it was nothing serious. He wanted to fix a proper burial for Stybba, as were the customs in Rohan. His pony had served him faithfully for more than twenty-five years and deserved a good final rest. With any luck, it would be a simple case of cold that his children had.
It turned out to be worse than a simple cold. After an hour Estella spotted tiny red spots on Lucky, Lúthien and by the end of the day also Théodoc. They had come down with chicken pox, something which most Hobbits had when they were young. Unfortunately, none of the Brandybuck children had had chickenpox before, so now all six of them fell ill. It seemed to be hardest on Éowyn and Théo, who were the oldest, and Estella eventually tied potholders to their hands to keep them from scratching their itching spots.
Pippin and Sam came over after two days to help with Stybba's burial, which resulted in Faramir catching the pox as well. Sam's younger children already had it, the older ones had had it the winter before Hamfast was born. Chicken pox spread through Brandy Hall and the Great Smials and before long everyone under ten had it.
Pippin spent most of his days sleeping and most of his nights with Faramir. The sixteen years old lad had it in as bad a way as Éowyn and Théodoc and for a while Diamond was very concerned that he would die. Pippin told her she was being silly, he had never heard of anyone older than two years who had died from chicken pox, but he had agreed on having Faramir watched over at all times. He didn't mind getting to baby his son a bit, it scared him how fast the youngster was growing.
"Father…" Faramir asked one night when he was beginning to feel a bit better. "You and Uncle Merry… Are you friends again?"
Pippin raised an eyebrow at the question.
"I'm sorry" Faramir said. "I didn't mean to be intrusive."
"That's okay" Pippin said. "Honestly Faramir, I don't know what Merry and I are anymore. We're… we're not fighting, but we're not really friends either. It's all very confusing."
"I miss having him around."
"So do I…" Pippin said. "So do I."
"It's hard for be to believe that there is such an age difference between you" Faramir said, half-rambling from his fever. "Cordy follows me around whenever he gets the chance, but to me he's just a persistent child. Yet he's closer to my age than you are to Uncle Merry's…"
"I know" Pippin said with a slight smile. "Frodo Baggins was my good friend too. He was twenty-two, or rather turned twenty-two, the year I was born. Can you imagine that? One of your best friends not being born for another six years!"
"Frodo Baggins must have been a very special Hobbit" Faramir said.
"He was indeed. The most special Hobbit of us all. But don't trouble yourself with friendships that might come and go, Faramir. Nobody can say what friends they will have in life, friendship just happens, sometimes when you least expect it. All you should worry about right now is to get better. I much want to see you up and about again."
"I will…" Faramir said and closed his eyes to go to sleep. "And I shall dream that you and Merry are friends again."
"Faramir…" Pippin said. "Take some advice from your Father. Never become too dependent on a friend like I've been of Merry. For if something happens to that friend or that friendship, you lose far more than you'd like."
Faramir nodded, more asleep than awake. Pippin didn't know if he had heard the advice or not. He could only hope his son would never end up needing one of his friends as much as Pippin had needed Merry.
"Just lay still" Estella said and placed a pitcher of water on Merry's nightstand.
Merry groaned with pain and closed his eyes. He didn't know if he would be able to move even if he wanted to. His back was aching very badly, he had spent far too many hours in the past week crouched over sick children.
"Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?" Estella asked. "Some brew I can make perhaps?"
"No…" Merry said. "Nothing other than willow bark tea."
"Then I'll make some for you. You really need to rest more than you do, darling."
"Thanks for the advice" Merry said and rolled his eyes.
Estella smirked at him and left to make the tea. After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and Pippin entered.
"Hey…" he said. "Rumour has it you are ill."
"It's just my back" Merry said.
"No it's not 'just' your back" Pippin said. "You only have one and you need to take better care of it. You're sixty-four years old, you shouldn't be going about as you do."
"I thought you said my life was dull" Merry said with a smile.
"I've written Strider" Pippin said. "We're going to get this back of yours fixed."
"I think that would require Elvish medicine" Merry said. "And none of the Elves who are still in Middle-Earth are skilled in medicine."
"Well Strider is going to give it a shot" Pippin said just as Estella entered with the tea. "We're leaving for Minas Tirith as soon as you can ride."
"Have you lost your mind?" Estella exclaimed.
"Hello Estella" Pippin said without turning around.
"Are you mad?" Estella said. "He cannot travel! His back is bad, he needs to be kept warm and not put any strain on it! He cannot travel in this time of year, especially not on horseback!"
"He is right here" Merry pointed out, not liking that she was referring to him in third person in his presence.
"And he is not going" Estella said.
"We've travelled to Gondor in fall and winter before" Pippin said. "The sooner he gets to the Houses of Healing the better."
"Estella, Pippin is right" Merry said. "I don't know if Strider can do anything, but if anyone can it is him."
"You had better look after him!" Estella said firmly to Pippin, realising that it was a no-win battle on her part.
"I will" Pippin said. Then he turned his attention back to Merry. "You get your behind out of that bed mighty quick, Master Meriadoc. We are going to Gondor."
Next week is Gondor week! Sorta… =) Merry in Pippin will be in Gondor, hoping to cure Merry's bad back. Please review, I would love to hear any comments you might have!