Author's Note: I've got a few things on my mind today before I'll let you get on with the next chapter =) First of all, as you might notice this chapter is uploaded Thursday instead of Friday, since I'm away Friday - Sunday. But that's a smaller issue... Here's something odd, the coding has changed in my latest chapters! I was browsing through them today and only the most basic of the basic coding remained! What's up with that? O_o That's the second thing on my mind. The third is, this chapter is longer than my chapters usually are. It's odd, I felt like I was just writing to get to the end point and it was really hard getting there, then when I reached the point I had been writing to I realised that I had aldready written a full-length chapter and I still had a lot left! After trying to re-write and adjust I decided to just go back to how it originally looked and let it be long. Next week's chapter will be shorter to make up for it. Fourth on my to-tell list today is more of a clarification. About Merry's back, it's causing him pain because of the accident with the pony. Trust me, no matter how young you are, if you hurt yourself badly enough you will feel that pain for a long while ahead. It has nothing to do with age. And that brings me to number five, in this chapter his back has gotten worse because of his travel to Gondor. Aragorn's treatment is some combination of something a chiropractor told me once and some old folklore, it's pretty weird but I decided to leave it as it was. Don't try it at home, kids! Okay, now I'm done! =)
Disclaimer: Characters and events from LotR are used without permission.
Dedication: I would like to dedicate this chapter to the memory of Jason Raize, a very talented young man who I just learned committed suicide in early February! Raize sang the song "Endless Night" which I used in the chapter where Merry and Pippin cancel their friendship and it is a very magical voice who has left us. A great tragedy =(
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"Up on that hilltop and then back?" Merry suggested.
Éowyn answered by driving her horse into a gallop with a cry. Merry answered the challenge at once and stormed after her on his pony. The two raced to the hilltop but Merry didn't stand a chance against the Lady on her mearas horse.
Laughing happily Éowyn held in her beast when she reached the hilltop and waited for Merry to catch up. She loved being out riding with him again, she had not expected to see him again for years. She only wished he were there under happier circumstances. His back was hurting him, she could tell even though he tried to hide it.
Merry felt a lot better being in Gondor again, breathing the air that seemed more free and being surrounded by friends of old. But it had been a long and difficult journey, he knew Pippin had had many difficulties with him during the two months it had taken them to travel. They both put their trust and hope to Strider now, if he couldn't heal Merry then no one could. They both hoped their long and difficult journey had not been in vain.
"And now back" Éowyn said with a laugh when Merry reached the hilltop as well. "King Elessar will hold me personally responsible if you are not safely tucked in at the Houses of Healing within the hour!"
"Then I'll tell him it was my fault I was late" Merry said. He didn't long to go back to the Houses, he preferred being out riding.
"You'd better be back when he tells you to be back, or he won't let you go out riding again for a long time! You had to nag a lot just to get two hours now!"
"I know…" Merry said. "I wish he would let me out more. Here I am, in my favourite place in all the world, and I don't get to enjoy it!"
"You will get to enjoy it" Éowyn promised. "I shall not let you return to the Shire without having ridden with you to my brother."
"How is Éomer King?" Merry asked as they began to ride back to Minas Tirith.
"He is well" Éowyn said. "Rohan is in it's prime. The lands have never been better. He rules in easy times."
"But was crowned during darker" Merry said. "He has well earned the peace in his lands, and so has his people."
"We all have."
They rode slowly back to Minas Tirith, taking the road that led to one of the side gates. Merry never rode across the Pelennor fields unless he had to. This time around he had felt the pain in his back and his arm even worse when he had taken that road into the city upon his arrival two months earlier. That place seemed cursed to him.
"I have good news" Éowyn said as they approached the White City. "Elboron will be arriving a week from today."
Merry's face lit up.
"Elboron! That is great news! For how long will the young lord stay?"
"I cannot say" Éowyn said. "He has some lass in Ithilien that he does not wish to be parted from for long, so I should not expect him to stay for more than a week."
"It will do my heart good to see him" Merry said.
"Nearly a quarter of a century has now passed since that spring when he came into the world" Éowyn said. "It makes me feel like I'm growing old."
Merry glanced at her. He didn't know her true age, he had never asked or wanted to know, but he had always assumed she was only a few years younger than him. He would guess her age to about sixty, though anyone who saw her would guess she was no older than forty. Her blonde hair had few strains of grey and her face was almost completely free of wrinkles. Merry guessed some grace had been put upon her at the Houses of Healing after the Pelennor fields, he hoped that whatever grace that might be it would prolong her life. Her race did not live as long as his, it pained him to know that she would die while he still had many years to linger in this world.
The guards at the gate let them in to the city and they rode in silence through the streets of Minas Tirith. People watched them on the sly as they rode by. They made a remarkable pair, the Lady and what people believed to be a Prince of the Perian. One was tall and fair with long hair put up in a bow, riding straddled instead of side-saddled on her brown mearas pony. The other was considerably shorter, with a more weather-beaten face and a mop of thick, curly hair on his head. He rode a rugged pony that looked like it mostly longed for the nearest meal, as did probably the rider. Together the lady and the perian were a remarkable pair who had accomplished extraordinary things together. It was said that they spoke without words and through great distances, a story that had originated after Éowyn's ride to the Shire a few years ago. Not too many people believed it, but it added extra flavour to an interesting tale.
Children gathered on the sides of the streets to see them ride by. All their lives they had heard of this pair in song and tale, but so long had passed since Merry's last visit to Minas Tirith that the children had begun to believe it was all just make-believe. Now they could see the perian riding with his lady and they whispered and pointed. Merry and Éowyn paid them no heed and continued toward the Houses of Healing.
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Pippin shifted his weight from one foot to the other and tried to stay awake. It was great to be back in Gondor, but being posted as a guard outside the citadel was not his favourite task in the world. He preferred being inside with Aragorn, especially now when he knew lunch was being served, but there was no use in complaining. He would get his lunch in an hour or so, Aragorn liked keeping him in circulation between different posts instead of always keeping him by his side. Pippin and the taller guard standing on the other side of the door would have someone take over from them just in time for the last lunch shift to start.
Pippin smiled slightly when a twelve-year-old boy came walking across the courtyard, whistling as he went. Whistling was not permitted in the surroundings of the citadel but Pippin didn't say anything to the boy. His fellow guard however told the child to be quiet.
The child came up to Pippin and without saying a word snuck an apple into his hand. Then he took off again with a grin and whistled on his way down the stairs. Pippin appreciated the gesture from the child, whose name was Tergoril son of Bergil, but put the apple aside for now. He was not permitted to eat or drink while he was on guard.
His stomach growled loudly and Pippin could see in the corner of his eye how the other guard tried to hide a grin. He and Merry were well known for their constant hunger and Pippin hated when the other soldiers found that funny. He wished his stomach would be quiet, but most of all he wished he could eat that apple.
Finally two citadel guards came to take over the posts by the door and Pippin bit down on his apple before he had even reached the White Tree. He hurried toward the dining hall used by the guards and ignored the looks and comments he got on the way. Mostly children whispered and pointed, the legendary Ernil i Pheriannath was among them and not just a figure in a story. Some adults as well stared at him as he passed them by, whispering to each other that this was the perian who had saved the life of Lord Faramir.
Pippin had been flattered at first by the attention given to him, and by people still remembering him after his long absence. But soon it had only gotten tiresome, he was not there to be praised and observed, he was there so that Merry could find help for his aching back.
It was a relief when he finally reached the dining hall and could shut the curious crowds out. Unfortunately there were a lot of curious minds among the soldiers dining with him as well. Many of them were under thirty and had little if any memories from the War. In their eyes Pippin was an exotic creature who had stepped right out of song and legend, and Pippin had soon learned to keep to himself and avoid the curious youngsters. The only soldier he ever talked much to was Bergil, his old friend from the War, who by now had a family of his own and three children. Pippin had trouble seeing him as a middle-aged man, in his mind he would always be the young boy who had been his companion and friend during some very lonely days during his first visit to the city.
Pippin took his time with his meal and ate as much as he was allowed to eat. At first many soldiers had complained that someone so small would get as much to eat as tall, strong men, but it had only taken them two days to realise that the Hobbit could easily have eaten for two of them. "Eating like a Perian" had become a joke between the soldiers, but they made sure the King did not overhear their new saying.
Once Pippin had eaten he hurried back to the citadel, where Aragorn would tell him where he was to be during the remainder of the day. The rest of the guards and soldiers had their appointed tasks and did the same thing almost every day, but in Pippin's case an exception had been made. The king liked having the halfling around, but also wanted him to do other duties. His assignments changed constantly, but so far he had not gotten to be at the Houses of Healing. He hoped he would get to go with Aragorn when he treated Merry, but knowing Strider he would probably only get to stand guard outside the door even if he was let into the Houses.
He was let into the citadel and found Aragorn and Arwen sitting on their thrones with the soon-to-be twenty-three-year-old prince on a smaller throne by their side. Pippin got down on his knee and bowed his head, as he knew he should, and was told for probably the hundredth time since his arrival in the city that he was not to bow before Strider.
"Pardon me" he mumbled and got up on his feet again.
"I have a special assignment for you, Peregrin Took" Strider said.
"For me?" Pippin said nervously, knowing very well that he was not always the best person to trust with important matters.
"The Lady Éowyn informed me today of young Lord Elboron's arrival a week from today. I need you to travel to Ithilien and bring him here. It is not wise for a young lord such as he to ride by himself such a distance."
Pippin's face lit up with a smile. If he was sent to Ithilien he would meet Faramir. He had not seen him yet since his arrival, the Lady Éowyn had arrived alone two days after the Hobbits, and Pippin had been disappointed.
"You will travel tomorrow morning" Aragorn continued. "You should reach Ithilien by luncheon time the day after that. Then you can assist Elboron in his preparations, make sure he only packs what he needs. When you're not with the young lord I believe I can trust that you will serve the Lord Faramir as well as only a devoted friend can. After three days time you will ride for Minas Tirith again and show Elboron to his rooms."
"Your wish is my command" Pippin said and bowed.
"My wish is for you to not bow to me."
"Nearly all your wishes are my command" Pippin said with a grin.
"As for this afternoon, you will be preparing for your journey tomorrow."
Pippin nodded and took that as a command to leave. He began walking down the hall when Aragorn's voice halted him.
"And Pippin! Make sure you only pack as much food as you'll need, and do not stop for unnecessary meals!"
"You have my word" Pippin said and continued down the hall. Once again Aragorn's voice stopped him.
"Second breakfast is not a necessary meal!"
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Pippin found himself whistling while he packed his things for the upcoming trip. He was excited about getting to see Ithilien again, but most of all getting to see lord Faramir again. Faramir had always represented the ideal person for Pippin, he was everything Pippin hoped his own son would be. He had often had that in mind over the years and raised his own Faramir accordingly. Diamond had not always approved but now she had nothing bad to say now about how their son had been raised. Faramir was a good lad.
Pippin was also looking forward to seeing Elboron. He had not seen him for years, and he loved the special relationship between them. Pippin had always seen himself as a servant to Elboron just as he was a servant to Elboron's father, at the same time Elboron had looked up to Pippin and seen him as a hero. They had a relationship that seemed indifferent to age differences, race differences and cultural differences.
Suddenly he realised that he had to write Diamond and Faramir today, or the letter would not be sent until the next shipment two months later. He began searching through his things to find something to write on, and then had to search long and hard to find a pencil. He had not found the time to sort out his things and create the order he was used to in his room, he had been busy almost every minute since his arrival in Minas Tirith.
Eventually he decided that he would put off the search for a pencil, the sooner he got his things packed the sooner there would be fewer things to search through. Packing for a trip like this was not hard in normal cases, but Pippin tried to make as much room as possible for extra food to sneak along.
By the time he was finished packing he was starving and headed off to Aragorn's private chambers to find something to eat. He knew he was more than welcome there, as long as he was off duty, and he also knew that there was always food around in Aragorn's private dining room.
He found his friend crouched over some books when he entered through the library. How anyone could bore themselves with books when there was food to be eaten Pippin couldn't quite understand, but then again Strider had never shown the respect for food that a Hobbit would.
Aragorn looked up at him and gave him a smile, then returned to his books. He was glad that it had been so simple to get Pippin to leave the city for a few days. Aragorn didn't want him present while he begun the more serious treatment of Merry's back. So far the Hobbit had not responded to the simpler treatments and Aragorn had decided to begin something a bit more serious.
He glanced at his books and wondered if perhaps Pippin was on the right track with choosing food above literature. It would be nice to share a meal with his friend before he left for a week. It felt like a loss to have him gone for a week when he was only in Gondor for as long as Merry's back would require it, but in this case it was for the better. It would probably be easier for Merry too, not having Pippin around right now.
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Merry stood by the window in his room at the Houses of Healing and looked out. He could see parts of the Pelennor Fields and it made him thoughtful. It was hard to believe that such a great battle had once stood on the now so peaceful fields, that many good men had died horrible deaths out on that field which had then been a battlefield. But even more difficult to believe was that he himself had taken part in that battle, that he had been out there among all the humans and orcs and mûmakil, fighting for freedom and the right to exist. He had been a true fool in his younger years, what had he thought getting into that battle? Some powerful might must have watched over him that day, by all rights he should be as dead as Théoden King.
The door opened behind him and he turned his head to see who it was. It could only be one of two people, everybody knocked save for Éowyn and Aragorn. It turned out to be the latter, there to tend to Merry's aching back.
"Good morning" Aragorn said.
"Good morning" Merry replied and turned his eyes back to the window. "I hear Pip left for Ithilien today."
"I sent him to accompany Elboron on his way here."
Merry nodded slowly and thoughtfully. Elboron, soon to be twenty-four years old, son of Faramir and Éowyn. Where had all the years gone? Merry couldn't believe he was going to turn sixty-five this summer, let alone that he had a daughter who would be eighteen. Close to thirty years had passed since the day when the Battle of the Pelennor Fields had stood. Thirty years ago he had felt young and invincible. Now he felt old and tired, even though he knew he probably had a good forty years ahead of him. He was ageing, and it was beginning to show. Not only in the grey strains in his curls, but in his physical condition. He doubted that his back would have troubled him so much had he been young and strong.
"I need you to lie down on the bed" Aragorn said and took off his cape.
Merry nodded and left the window. There was something about the Pelennor Fields which made his eyes land on it every time it was within sight, but it felt only good to take his eyes off those plains and momentarily try to forget that they even existed.
"I'm sorry" Aragorn said. "But the method of treatment I wish to try will probably cause you some pain."
"And that's why you sent Pippin away?" Merry asked and took his shirt off.
"Yes" Aragorn said as Merry climbed up on the bed and lied down. He walked up to his friend and gently began massaging his back in order to make the upcoming treatment a bit easier on the Hobbit. "Something isn't right between you, you are not acting around each other the way that you should. But I know that Peregrin will still be very protective of you if he finds out you're being hurt by my treatment. It's better for all of us if he's not here and does not know."
"I wish I could go to Ithilien…" Merry said. "But I'll have to wait until I'm more fit for travelling. The journey here was a real pain, literally!"
"What is the problem between you and Pippin?" Aragorn asked, mostly to get Merry to talk and keep his mind off his back for a moment. Aragorn was aware of what had happened between them and had an idea of what things were like now, but he had a feeling it would do Merry's back good if he got to talk about it. One thing both he and Merry knew very well was that if the heart was not feeling well the body would react.
"I don't know" Merry said. "I've spent a year trying to figure it out. It's like we're nothing. We're not best friends, we're not friends, we're not angry with each other… Sometimes I wonder if we're still cousins or if that's no longer valid either."
"What really happened that was so bad it made you two part ways? I would have thought death would be the thing to do that."
"I'm still trying to figure that out too" Merry said. "We just began to grow apart and Pip couldn't handle it. That's how it all started… In the end I don't even think we knew what we were fighting about when we broke from each other."
"If so then it can hardly have been anything that will last forever" Aragorn said. "If you don't know why you're fighting then chances are you're not fighting over anything at all. Once you realise that things will work out."
"Or maybe we were fighting over nothing just to be able to make that clean break" Merry said.
"Do you wish for it to remain like this?" Aragorn asked and began tracing down Merry's back to find the spot that was most sore. "With you not being as close as you were? It's an awful lot to lose, dear friend."
"I miss what we used to have" Merry said. "Nothing we have gained in freedom and ability to grow has been worth as much as the bond we shared. I've always loved him and I still do."
"Do you think Pippin feels that way?"
"I don't know."
"Pippin has always seemed like he values your bond more than anything in the world. Pardon me Merry but I've always believed he would be the one who kept you two together whatever life threw at you."
"Not anymore" Merry said.
"What changed?"
"Peregrin."
Aragorn nodded, deciding it wasn't worth pushing the subject any further. If Merry was ready to talk he would talk. But it was hard getting one of them to open up about negative things concerning the other, throughout everything that had happened they had still kept their defensive walls up. They defended one another from outer attacks still, and would probably consider it a betrayal to talk to someone else in the fellowship about the situation. There was a wall that the two put up against the rest of the world which seemed impossible to breach.
"I guess… things will just go on like they are now" Merry said. "We could probably still have a normal friendship, the kind normal people normally have. But it is a step back from where we used to be."
"You let me know if there's anything I can do. To help you or to help the situation." Aragorn said. "That goes for both you and Pippin. There's no use in having friends if you can't come to them when you need them."
"If I wasn't aware of that I wouldn't be here now" Merry said.
Aragorn nodded. Then he placed his fingers carefully yet firmly around the toughest spot on Merry's aching back. The first step in the treatment involved something that could unfortunately break the Hobbit's back if Aragorn wasn't careful. It was a good thing indeed that he had sent Pippin away, for the process would undoubtedly be quite painful for Meriadoc.
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That evening Aragorn was crouched over his books again when the doors were flung open and Éowyn stormed in, looking very upset. She had just come from the Houses of Healing and had heard about the treatment Aragorn had given Merry earlier in the day.
"Aragorn!" she said angrily, skipping all formalities. "I've just visited the Houses! Is it true what they say?"
"You've heard of Merry's treatment, I suspect" Aragorn said and put his book aside.
"Treatment? You call that treatment? He looks so worn and spent! The women said they could hear him scream out in the hallway! Is that how you treat those you claim to love?"
"Éowyn" Aragorn said and rose from his chair. "Not all treatments are herbs and bedrest. None of the things I have tried earlier have worked, Merry's back is no better now than it was when he first came here, I had to try some alternative methods!"
"And making him cry out with pain is a better method?" Éowyn asked.
"Merry understands the pain" Aragorn said. "He knows why I give him that treatment. I've explained the entire procedure to him. He is willing to try it."
"Probably fearing you'll hurt him worse if he doesn't comply!"
"My lady!" Aragorn said in a warning tone. "That is out of order. I would watch my tongue if I were you."
"I will watch my tongue" Éowyn said. "But I will watch over Holdwine first. Nobody else seems to."
"He has many friends" Aragorn said.
"Right" Éowyn said. "One who abandons him. One who hurts him. I fear what those other friends will do to him."
"Sometimes it has to hurt before it can heal!" Aragorn said. "You my lady have no training in medicine and know not of what you speak! Furthermore you know nothing of the bonds we share with Merry. I have travelled with him far longer than you, my Lady. Do you not trust me to try everything else before I try something that will hurt him?"
"I don't know if I trust any of his friends anymore" Éowyn said.
"Do you then not trust yourself?"
"I have not let him down. You have today."
"Perhaps it will be better for you if you went back to Ithilien" Aragorn said. "I sent Pippin away so that he wouldn't react the same way you have. Maybe you ought to join him."
"What would Pippin care?" Éowyn asked.
"He brought Merry here in the first place, did he not?"
"I will not be sent away" Éowyn said. "Someone has to stay and watch over him."
"He is a grown Hobbit" Aragorn objected. "He can watch over himself."
"He has probably had to learn."
"Bite your tongue before you say anything that you will long regret. Merry has agreed to keep up this treatment and you ought to act according to his wishes."
"I will not let you hurt him" Éowyn said and raised her index finger at Aragorn to emphasise her words. Then she turned around and stormed out.
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"Hurry, my lord Elboron" Pippin said and glanced at the sun in the sky. "We must reach our camp site before sunset and it's still quite a while to ride."
"I'm sorry, Master Pippin" Elboron said and drove his horse to a trot so that he could catch up with the Hobbit. He had gotten sidetracked by the sight of a wild deer and forgotten that he was riding toward Minas Tirith, not out joyriding. "It's just I don't get to ride here too often, I wish I could see more of the lands!"
"You have a lifetime to see the lands" Pippin said. "Our camp is far away still and my stomach is in the need for dinner now!" Elboron laughed and grabbed a fruit from a tree he rode by. He handed it to Pippin, who thankfully accepted and feasted on the unexpected treat. Pippin wished the ride would be over soon, he loved Ithilien and he loved Minas Tirith, but the road in-between was not as fun. It felt like a waste of time to be on the road.
"I cannot wait to see Minas Tirith again" Elboron said. "It's been such a while since I visited the city… Father is there every other week but I often have to stay at home."
"Someone has to manage your father's duties while he's away" Pippin said.
"Does your Faramir manage your duties while you're here?" Elboron asked, interested in anything that had to do with the Shire.
"Faramir is sixteen" Pippin said with a laugh. "And Hobbits do not come of age at twenty, as you do. We come of age at thirty-three, so in your ages it would probably be like letting a twelve-year-old handle things. When I'm gone my brother-in-law manages my duties."
Elboron pondered that for a moment.
"Sometimes I wish I could be a Hobbit, and be young and free much longer."
"Oh don't think my Faramir gets to run around doing whatever he chooses" Pippin said. "He has to help out around the Smials, with the farming in particular. The Thains have been farmers as far back as anyone can remember, there's not a lot of free time in that life."
Elboron nodded slowly. He was glad he didn't have to do any farming. He had never had that love for the earth and soil that the people of Rohan had, he felt more comfortable when his hands were clean.
They rode on in silence for a while. Both wished they were at Minas Tirith already, especially since the weather was not so good. It was winter still, and the winds were chilly. Pippin pulled his Elf cape around him and longed for a hot meal, a pint of ale and a nice fireplace.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Merry was sitting up on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him from the waist down. He was trying his best to read but didn't really feel up to it. It had been a long and trying week and he was glad to have a day's rest with the treatment. He hoped Aragorn knew what he was doing, for the treatment was painful and put a lot of stress on him. So far his back wasn't doing any better, but Aragorn said it was all part of the process.
Merry leaned forward and turned so that he could look out the window, which was located on his right on the same wall as the head of the bed. He could only see the sky from this angle, but it appeared to be a fine day. How he wished he could be out riding with Éowyn instead of being cooped up in this room. Though he knew that even if he got permission he wouldn't be able to go out riding today. His back needed rest, he needed rest.
Half-heartedly he turned his attention back to the book. One of the women working at the Houses had brought him a whole sack filled with books that he could read during his long lonely hours when Aragorn had duties to tend to and Éowyn was busy. Merry wasn't very interested in any of the books she had brought him but he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings.
What grieved Merry the most was that he felt like an old man, unable to go outside, chained to his bed by his ill back and a burden to all. It was a growing concern for him, the fact that he was growing older. He wanted to stay young and strong forever, even though he knew that wasn't possible. Having to slowly grow weaker and more tired was hard on him, and he felt it was all happening too soon. He was not at all very old for a Hobbit, but he constantly compared himself to how he had been during the great War. The strength and joy of life he had felt then was gone.
In his heart he knew he had many long years ahead of him. Unless something unforeseen happened, such as an accident or a disease, he would be a grandfather by the time he passed on, Théodoc would be well over forty when he became Master of Buckland. But now he worried that he would face all those years with a bad back. Most of all he worried that he would face the years on his own.
There was a soft knock on the door and Éowyn entered. She smiled slightly and Merry grinned. He was happy to see her, happy to have someone keeping him company.
"I thought you might be asleep…" Éowyn said, explaining her knock.
"I'm too bored to be asleep" Merry said. "Come in! Sit with me!"
"How do you feel?" Éowyn asked.
"Like Strider predicted I would. Like my back is going to split in two. But if the pain goes away for good in the end then it will be worth it. Sit!"
She sat down next to him and handed him an apple she had brought with her. He happily accepted it and began munching away.
"I have good news" she said. "Elboron should arrive shortly. He and Peregrin have been sighted not far from the city."
"I can't wait to see him again!" Merry said.
"Unfortunately, I won't be keeping you company for long" Éowyn said. "I promised the king I would take Elboron with me to the citadel after his arrival. But my son and I will both be seeing you as soon as possible."
"Why does Strider want him in the citadel?" Merry asked.
"He did not say and I did not ask. You look weary."
"Strange, isn't it?" Merry said. "That doing nothing can make you tired. I wish I could be up and about, my legs are itching to go out and walk through the parks!"
"You will get to do that" Éowyn promised him. "But right now you need your rest. Go to sleep, if you are tired. I will stay for as long as I can."
Merry nodded and finished his apple without saying anything else. Éowyn took the book from him and put it down on the nightstand. She watched him with worried eyes as he pulled another blanket around him and closed his eyes to get some sleep. She hated seeing him like this, Hobbits were supposed to be active and funloving beings, not fettered to sickbeds and weary with pain. But she knew that Merry was not quite as much Hobbit now as he had been before. She didn't even notice that she had said the last part out loud until Merry replied.
"You're right…" he said. "I've often thought so myself."
"Pardon" Éowyn said and blushed. "I, I didn't mean to…"
"You know what I've sometimes thought?" Merry asked and opened his eyes again.
"Shhhh… You should try to get some sleep!"'
"I think I gave up part of my Hobbitness, or lost it, when we killed the Witch King. In order to kill him I had to give up part of what makes a Hobbit a Hobbit. And that's why I'm not like the others in the Shire, I'm not as carefree as they are anymore and I'm not as light-hearted."
"Do not say that" Éowyn said. "Such a terrible price to pay! You hold on to those qualities Master Holdwine, they are very special. They are what make you different from all the men here, those who would never have done what you did."
"Perhaps I just think too much."
"Maybe so. Now I don't want you to think another thought right now, just close your eyes and go to sleep!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
When Merry woke up Éowyn was gone. Instead Pippin was parked in a chair looking through a book, seeming quite intrigued by the story. So they had arrived, finally. Merry smiled, hoping he would get to see Elboron soon.
He yawned and looked around the room. It was getting quite dark, the only light was the candle Pippin had with him while he read. His cousin was so into the plot of the book that he didn't notice that Merry had woken up, and Merry didn't alert him to the fact. He let his mind wonder and had gone through a number of topics in his head before Pippin finally looked up and noticed that the sleeping patient was no longer sleeping.
"Well good morning to you" he said and put his book aside. "Or should I say good evening? Do they not make you do anything else but sleep? Why can't I get to be a patient here for once?"
"Well if you're willing to trade…"
Pippin rose from his chair and walked over with the candle. He then slumped in the chair Éowyn had been sitting in and tried to find something suiting to say.
"Is your back any better?" he asked.
"Aragorn likes the 'darker before dawn' principle. So far it's getting darker… Dawn should arrive soon hopefully."
"And what does that mean?"
"It means it's not so good right now but Strider says it will be."
"Good!" Pippin said and grinned.
"How was Ithilien?"
"Great, as usual. It was very nice to see Faramir again, and my how Elboron has grown! My only worry is that I forgot to write to Diamond and my own Faramir before I left, now they're going to worry when they don't hear from me!"
"You're even less of a Hobbit than I am" Merry sighed. "Be not worried, they will probably think you're too busy to write them. When I wrote my letters earlier in the week I mentioned that you had ridden to Ithilien to bring the Lord Elboron to Minas Tirith, Diamond will understand that it is the reason why you didn't write."
"I will have to be very nice to her in my next letter" Pippin said with a smile.
"How I wish I could have gone with you" Merry said with a longing sigh. "Is Ithilien still as beautiful as ever?"
"Even in winter" Pippin said.
Merry nodded and had a dreaming look on his face. He hoped that one day he would find the time to write a book about Ithilien, Rohan and other foreign places he loved. If he could put the beauty of these places down on paper he could share it with other Hobbits in generations to come. But he didn't know if he was gifted enough to be able to do the lands any justice.
Pippin's mind wandered a bit. He wasn't sure what to say and it felt queer to share a silence with Merry that wasn't comfortable. "So you're really bored in this bed, huh?" he finally said.
"You wouldn't believe it" Merry said. "I don't want to be cooped up in here! I want to be out in the gardens, or riding across the plains, or walking the streets of the city! I envy you, I wish I could get to work at the citadel!"
"Do not envy me just yet" Pippin said. "Standing guard by doors is anything but fun!"
"But getting to see the city is! Not to mention you get to be around Strider and you get to see the citadel. Surely the good things outnumber the bad."
"That they do" Pippin admitted. "You will get your chance, Meriadoc."
"I've never served Aragorn" Merry said. "I feel bad that I won't be serving Éomer this time around. The last time I served him I after a few weeks got really queer looks from the other soldiers. They serve him all year round, I show up for a couple of months after having been gone for years, and I'm treated more like a member of the court than one of the soldiers. Do the others look at you that way here, Pip?"
"No" Pippin said. "They make fun of my eating habits!"
"Humans!" Merry said. "They just don't understand the importance of second breakfast! Or afternoon tea!"
"I know!" Pippin said with feeling. "Each time my stomach growls they smirk and laugh! I can't help that I'm hungry!"
"Do they stare at you when they think you're not looking?" Merry asked. "Because they do that in Rohan. Those who were in the War don't, though some of them patronise me, but the younger don't seem to be able to make sense out of me being in that War they have heard so much about. I've heard them crack jokes about how my sword must have been longer than I am for me to be able to kill any orcs!"
"I don't know if the soldiers stare, but everybody else does! I can't walk down the streets without whispers and pointing."
"For the young it must be like we stepped right out of a fairy tale."
"But shouldn't they have grown used to us by now?" Pippin said. "We've been here for quite some time!"
Merry nodded. It was strange how the humans seemed unable to get used to the sight of the two halflings who walked the streets of Minas Tirith. Many saw it as another proof of Elessar King's might, that the Princes of the Halflings served him as humbly as any of the other soldiers, others said they were the King's good luck bringers. Lately Pippin had noticed that it was a sport among the children to run up and touch him as he walked by. They thought it would bring good luck, but the children were all afraid of approaching him so it had become a sport. Pippin hated how he was unable to move around in the city in peace.
"Either way…" Merry said. "I envy you for getting to walk around in the city at your free will. While you're not on duty, I mean."
"You will be too in no time."
"As soon as I'm well again we're going back home" Merry pointed out.
"We are?" Pippin asked.
"Well then we've done what we came here to do, haven't we?"
"Yes, you're right" Pippin said and smiled. "The Shire. It will be nice to go back home, as much as I like it here."
"I must admit I wish I were home right now" Merry said. "Lucky's got a pneumonia, poor child. I wish I was there for him."
"Merry, you do realise that Estella wrote that letter probably a month ago, and that Lucky is fine now?"
"You're right" Merry said and smiled slightly.
"It will be a nicer ride home than the ride here was, I'm sure" Pippin said. "Perhaps we might even get to enjoy the scenery."
"Sorry for being so much trouble when we went here" Merry said. "I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll be nothing but nice on the way back."
Pippin laughed.
"Sure you'll be…"
Merry made a face at him and shifted in the bed. Then he grimaced with pain. He had to remind himself not to make any sudden movements or his back felt like it was being stabbed by a dozen knives.
"But before we can return…" Pippin said, "we have to fix that back of yours. Just keep your focus on that for now. As soon as you're well enough to travel without being bothered by your back, we'll leave."
"I don't know whether I wish for it to be soon or not" Merry said. "Leaving Gondor… But you're right, we must go back."
"We're not here on a social call" Pippin reminded him. "Nor to serve our lords. Little preparations were made in the Shire before we left, we cannot be gone longer than we necessarily have to. Fatty Bolger will have wrecked Buckland for sure!"
"I didn't leave Fatty in charge" Merry said. "My cousin Berilac is filling in as Master. It's a lot safer that way, he knows what he's doing more than my brother-in-law, plus Fatty didn't seem to enjoy being fill-in Master that much when last I was gone."
"Fredegar was not born for things like that" Pippin said.
"No, he wasn't… But we on the other hand were. I'll tell my back to hurry up and get better, so that we can return as soon as possible!"
"You do that" Pippin said and rose. "Now then… I shall go get something to eat, a second supper won't hurt anyone, and I'll have some food sent up to you as well. I'll see you in a few days, Merry. Take care of yourself, rest a lot and don't put any strains on your back! Remember, the sooner it is well the sooner we can go home!"
"Bye now Pip…" Merry said and waved.
"Bye."
Pippin left and closed the door carefully behind him. Heading for Aragorn's private dining hall he smiled to himself. He did indeed look forward to going home, as much as he loved being in Gondor. Spending time with Elboron had made him long for home and his child, and he had thought much about how grand it would be to go out riding with his own Faramir. In the end, that was better than Gondor.
He hoped Merry's back would improve soon, for both their sakes. He was a bit worried about his cousin, it had seemed like he had taken a step back when he had seen him this evening, he had been pale and seemed to have more pain in his back than before. Pippin told himself it was all in his head. Of course Merry was getting better. He was in Strider's hands, what could go wrong?
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Aragorn frowned and looked worriedly at Merry. The Hobbit was not responding half as well to the treatment as he should have, Aragorn had never seen a halfling responding worse than a human to any form of treatment at all. He was not willing to give up just yet, but if Merry didn't start showing signs of improvement soon he would have to think of something else. He was beginning to wonder if he'd be able to cure his friend at all. Perhaps a bad back was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life.
"Merry" he said. "You know I am doing everything I can."
"Yes" the Hobbit nodded.
"There is still only so much I can do" Aragorn said. "The rest has to come from you."
"I know" Merry said.
"A healthy back will only come to you if you're healthy in your heart. Personal problems or sorrows will make the healing process much more difficult."
"Things are better now than they used to be" Merry said. "It's a slow process. Though I'm beginning to adjust."
"Is that how it's going to be?" Aragorn asked. "Instead of trying to solve your problems you adjust to them?"
"Yes" Merry said casually with a shrug to the shoulder. "As time goes by, the emotional wounds will heal, and so will my back. Time has a way of fixing things." He turned his head as far as he could and looked at Aragorn. "Is this what I have to go through to be able to live a full life without Pip? This whole thing with my back, I mean?"
"It just might be" Aragorn said.
"Well if it is… then that's what it is. What can I do about it? I can do this, Strider, I can. Don't you worry about me. I'll get on with my life, live as completely as I used to."
"I wish you wouldn't" Aragorn said. "It breaks my heart to see you two, who were always so dear with one another, now acting almost like strangers."
"I think we need to" Merry said. "How are we to grow otherwise? Our friendship has never really nurtured the individual."
"That's where you're wrong" Aragorn said. "That was part of what was so special. You were individuals all along."
"Things will be fine Strider" Merry said, not sounding the least bit bothered with the problems at the moment. "I've accepted things for the way they are. Are you going to do that painful part yet? I'd rather you just did it instead of rubbing and talking."
"I have some good news" Aragorn said and as gently as he could began his cracking. "Tomorrow you're going to get out of here."
"Lovely" Merry whined in pain.
"You're going swimming" Aragorn said. "It will be good for your back. And it will get you out of this room."
"Lovely" Merry repeated.
Aragorn nodded and intensified the treatment. It would be nice for the both of them to not have to do this the next day.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Come here" Éowyn said and handed a towel to the shivering Merry. The towel was huge in comparison to him and he quickly managed to roll himself into it quite nicely. The weather was not the best for a swim, but Aragorn had insisted on them going out anyway. Éowyn worried Merry would catch a cold, but neither the king nor the Hobbit seemed concerned about that. They were both busy thinking about the treatment.
Merry looked up at Éowyn, shivering in the cold wind, and smiled at her with lips that were slightly blue.
"Lovely day for a swim, don't you agree?"
"Inside you go" Éowyn commanded. "You have a hot meal waiting for you! Go!"
Merry rushed off, still wrapped in the towel, and Éowyn followed him with concerned eyes. Aragorn walked up to her and smiled slightly.
"Blessed be the happy spirit of the perian" he said.
"He will need that happy spirit" Éowyn said. "For he is not responding well to treatment. In fact he is worse now than when you begun."
"But not as bad as he was when he arrived" Aragorn said. "The pain in his back will come and go. Right now it has come. And yes, it is thanks to my treatment. But I have every reason to believe that he will be all-right in the end."
"He had better be" Éowyn said and began to walk back up the path Merry had taken.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Merry soon got himself something warm to eat and some nice, dry clothes to change into. After his meal he began walking from the dining hall up to the Houses of Healing, ignoring the people looking at him as he passed them by. Pippin, who had joined him in the dining hall, gave evil glares to any child or adult who cast as much as a glance at Merry, but his cousin didn't mind if people looked. He was only glad to be out from his room for once.
Éowyn came up to them after a while and made sure Merry was warm and full, and was at once assured that he was. She smiled at him as he looked around and took a deep breath of Minas Tirith air.
"It feels lovely to be outdoors" he said. "I think my back has improved a lot today. I can't really tell from just one occasion, but it feels good."
"I'm glad" Pippin said with a smile. "Then we can go home soon. Here we part ways for now, I must go up to the citadel!"
With a casual wave Pippin hurried towards the citadel, late for once. Éowyn saw the look on Merry's face and put her hand on his shoulder.
"You don't have to leave as soon as you're better" she said. "Stay. Go with me to Rohan. Éomer would love seeing you. Or stay here in Minas Tirith, we can go out riding!"
"I would love that…" Merry said.
"Then let's call it decided" Éowyn said.
"Pippin wants to return."
"He can wait for a while, can't he?" Éowyn said. "You are here so seldom!"
"Indeed we are" Merry said. "Oh how I would wish to stay longer…"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"What are you doing sleeping at this hour of the day?" a growling voice said, waking Merry up with a start.
Merry stirred slightly and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. He had been resting peacefully, not expecting to be woken up in this brisk way. He was getting used to resting by now, for the past month Aragorn had only allowed him to go out swimming twice a week, the other five days he was kept inside. Most of the time he had nothing to do but to rest.
"I must say!" the voice went on. "You lazy young Hobbits sure haven't changed a bit!"
"Neither have you, Gimli" Merry said and smiled.
"And what about me?" Legolas asked. "Have I changed?"
"Not a bit" Merry said and examined his friend closely. "Not a day have you aged!"
"People say the same about me" Gimli claimed, although his beard was beginning to look more grey than brown.
"It's wonderful to see you" Merry grinned. "What brings you here?"
"We should have been here long ago" Legolas said. "We didn't receive word that you were in the city until just recently. We were told that you were ill. How is your back?"
"Much better" Merry said and got out of bed.
Gimli thought to himself that if this was "much better" he didn't want to know how it had been at first. He knew the Hobbit was most likely exaggerating, unwilling to admit that he was in pain, but it was clear that the back was troublesome. Merry had not jumped out of bed, as he normally would, but rather climbed.
Aragorn had spoken with Gimli and Legolas upon their arrival and told them everything they needed to know. Gimli knew very well that Merry hadn't responded to treatment the way that he should have, and that though Aragorn had done all he could Merry was not fully healed. The only way he could ever be was up to him now.
"Come here laddie!" he said and pulled the Hobbit close for a hug, deciding not let on that he saw his friend's back was hurting him.
Merry returned the hug and felt really happy for the first time in ages. He had not seen Gimli or Legolas since he and Pippin last visited, it had been far too long. Legolas kneeled down and hugged him as well, and Merry felt it was really true. The Elf had not aged a day since the War. He was the only one in the Fellowship who hadn't.
"Did Strider tell you that as of the day after tomorrow I am officially no longer a patient at the Houses of Healing?" Merry asked with a grin.
"He has, old friend" Legolas said. "He invited us both to the party. I hear King Éomer is coming in from Rohan tomorrow."
"Indeed he is" Merry said. "It will be nice to be Lord Holdwine again. Have you seen Pip yet, by the way?"
"Not yet" Gimli said. "Aragorn had him occupied with something when we arrived and we went straight here once Aragorn had finished talking. Good thing we did, or you would have slept the entire afternoon away."
"And you would have envied every hour" Merry said.
It was wonderful to see them again. Merry was happy that they had come together, at the same time. That was how he loved seeing them, as a duo. There was something so comforting about that sight and it brought back many fond memories. It didn't occur to him that Legolas and Gimli felt the same way about seeing him with Pippin, and neither of them were sure how to act around the two Hobbits now that they had gone their separate ways.
"I am so glad you are here!" Merry said and got back up on the bed to ease his back. "You have to tell me everything that has been going on for the past years. Your letters don't say as much as I wish to know."
"Shouldn't we wait for Pippin?" Gimli had to ask.
"Oh, you can tell him later" Merry said. "Please, I'm dying to hear all about your doings. I am still as bored as ever in this room!" "Very well then" Legolas said and sat down on the floor in a graceful movement. "Should I go first, or would you rather like to hear Master Dwarf tell his tales first?"
"Whichever" Merry said. "I have a million questions to ask the both of you! I even wrote them down!" He fished out a long piece of paper from his pocket. "Each of your letters spark more questions than I have room to write in my replies. So I wrote my questions down on this paper, in the chance of me getting to see you and ask you in person!"
Legolas and Gimli shared a look. No matter what Aragorn had said about how the two halflings had changed, Merry was still very much like Merry.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Two days later a party was held to celebrate the end of Merry's treatment. Aragorn had taken him aside just before the party and reminded him to take it easy, his back was still very bad even though Aragorn had done all he could. Merry had rolled his eyes and said that he planned on having as much fun as possible during the party, after all, that was what was supposed to heal his back.
Now Aragorn couldn't help but frown at how the Hobbit was dancing around on a table together with Pippin, singing yet another one of their drinking songs. The act was however much appreciated by the people around them, who asked for one more song.
Éomer came up to Aragorn and handed him a tankard.
"He seems to be doing well" he said.
"I hope he is" Aragorn said.
"I had to command him to go have a good time" Éomer said. "He quickly fell into the role of esquire."
"The Hobbits always do."
"Well tonight is their night" Éomer said. "They can be esquires in the morning."
Aragorn nodded and smiled as the Hobbits clinked their tankards together and downed what was in them. They both seemed to be fine right now.
Three songs and a lot of ale later, the two finally got down from the table. They bowed to each other and then headed off in their separate ways, Pippin to find more ale and Merry to sit down and rest for a while. He sat down next to the young Elboron, who was still working on his first pint for the evening.
"You're going about it wrong" Merry said. "You do not sip your ale, my lord, you drink it. This isn't wine."
"It gives me headaches in the morning when I do" Elboron confessed.
Merry grinned and knew he would probably have quite a nice headache the next morning as well. But what did he care? Tonight was party night.
Pippin got his tankard filled and held it up high above his head to balance his way through the crowds. He sat down next to Legolas and Gimli, who were in the middle of debating over who could first finish a pint of ale. Pippin put his money on Gimli.
"Are you enjoying yourself, Master Peregrin?" Gimli asked as the Hobbit sat down.
"Verily" Pippin said, slurring a little.
"I think our previous debate just became pointless" Legolas said as Pippin began working on his ale. "The one who first could empty a pint is surely Pippin."
Pippin slammed his tankard down on the table and grinned.
"And I am very proud of it!" he announced.
He looked over at Merry, who was talking to Elboron some tables away, and smiled. Aragorn had said Merry's back was as fine as he would ever be able to get it. They were going to go home now. Pippin loved Gondor, but this time around it had not been about enjoying oneself and spending time with friends. They had come for one purpose only and now that purpose had been fulfilled. It was time to go back home.
"A toast!" he said and turned his attention back to the Elf and Dwarf. "To the Fellowship of the Ring! May Sam, Frodo, Gandalf and Boromir all be drinking ale too, wherever they are!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Merry?" Pippin said a few days later as Merry came rushing into the dining hall where Pippin was working on a stake by himself.
"Yes?" Merry asked and shoved a carrot into his mouth as he stopped to look for something. He had been sent by his lord Éomer and did not want to delay.
"I was thinking…" Pippin said.
"Why are you eating all by yourself?" Merry asked and cast a glance at the steak. "Where is everyone?"
"Off somewhere. But Merry, I was thinking… It's been over a week now since the party… Strider says you won't get any better than this! And I thought it was time to go home."
"We will" Merry said assuringly and ate another carrot while he searched through some drawers for the vessel Éomer had asked for, the one which they usually brought when they went out for longer rides.
"We said we would leave as soon as you were well again" Pippin said carefully.
"A few more days is not going to hurt us" Merry said and found the container. "You got to do lots of fun things while I was at the Houses, now it is only fair that I get to have some fun before we set off for the Shire."
"How long do you wish to stay then?" Pippin asked.
"Just a while longer" Merry said. "A few weeks or so, maybe a month. I really have to run now Pip, Éomer and I are going out for a long ride and we won't return before morning!"
"Have fun" Pippin muttered and sighed to himself as Merry hurried off.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Just in time for elevenzies the next day Éomer and Holdwine returned to Minas Tirith. Éowyn greeted them in the stables, ready to help them with their beasts. Éomer quickly excused himself and headed up to his chambers to answer some letters that had arrived for him that day. Merry stayed behind with Éowyn and helped her with the animals.
"Did you have a good ride then?" Éowyn asked.
"It was great" Merry said happily. "I thought I had seen all of the surroundings of Minas Tirith there was to see, but I have never before been where my Lord took me."
"Gondor has many places of great beauty" Éowyn said and led Éomer's proud white horse into his stable booth. "I'm glad to hear you had a good ride. You must tell me all about it, I'm curious to find out where my brother took you."
"I'm glad you convinced me to stay" Merry said and patted his pony on the neck. "I shall tell you all about our ride tonight, when we're sitting in front of a warm fireplace with something hot to drink. Right now I must confess I long for a hot bath and something warm to eat. Though spring is in the air, it is still cold outside."
"Then run along and warm yourself" Éowyn said. "I will look after Dusky."
"Thank you for the offer my lady" Merry said and patted his pony once more. "I think I shall take you up on it. Dusky is in great hands."
He gave the pony a carrot and his eyes fell on the booth his pony occupied while in Gondor. He raised an eyebrow.
"Pippin's out riding, is he?" he said. "Crow is gone."
"No, he's not out riding" Éowyn said.
"Then where is Crow?" Merry asked, knowing that Pippin's pony wasn't let out in the pastures with the other horses since he had a bad habit of kicking anything larger than him. In this place, that meant he kicked all animals save for Crow.
"Holdwine…" Éowyn said. "Peregrin left."
"Left where?"
"He went home."
"Home?" Merry repeated. He turned his head and looked at Éowyn with near panic in his eyes. "The Shire?"
"He said it was time for him to return" Éowyn said.
"But… But we were supposed to leave together, him and I!"
"You wished to stay" Éowyn reminded him. "Peregrin longed for home. He left while you were away so that you wouldn't have to feel forced to come with him. You do not work as clockwork anymore dear Holdwine, you go your separate ways."
"But…" Merry stuttered. "But… But we were going to go home together!"
"I'm sorry."
"When did he leave?"
"Just this morning."
Éowyn felt terribly sorry for Merry when she saw his reaction. He seemed to be near tears, fighting back what seemed like panic. He didn't seem to know what foot to stand on. Éowyn had not realised it would mean so much to Merry to travel back home together with Pippin, but now she saw that he felt like he had lost something of great value. Their journey home was one of the few things they still had together and now Pippin had left on his own.
"What are you waiting for?" she asked, hesitating only for a second. "Go! Get back up in the saddle, ride after him, you should be able to catch up to him! I'll pack your things and follow you on my mearas as soon as it can be arranged."
Merry looked at her with bewildered eyes. He looked at the open stable doors, then at Éowyn, then at the open doors again.
"Go!" Éowyn said. "Off with you!"
Without further ado Merry swung back up in his saddle. He looked at Éowyn one last time.
"I love you, my lady!" he said.
Then he drove Dusky to a gallop, heading after Pippin. Éowyn watched him go with sadness in her heart. Aragorn came up to her, having overheard the last part of the conversation but not wanting to intrude.
"You let him go?" he said.
"I had to" Éowyn said. Aragorn could hear how upset she was.
"I thought you didn't like Peregrin" he said.
"I don't" Éowyn said. "I never liked nor disliked him, until my visit to the Shire. He is worth nothing to me, other than that he is worth something to Merry. He is egoistic, petty and cares not for Holdwine the way he should."
"You don't know him well enough to say that" Aragorn objected. "Pippin is a good lad. You owe your husband's life to him."
"One act of valour does not make up for too many acts causing hurt."
"He has been hurt too" Aragorn said. "Merry is just as much to blame as Pippin."
"He is not good for him" Éowyn said. "If it were up to me he would have nothing further to do with Merry."
"Then why did you let him go after him?"
"Because it is not up to me. Merry has to decide for himself who should be his friend or not, I as his friend can only accept the choices that he makes. If he needs Pippin for any reason then I will not hinder him."
"I'm glad" Aragorn said. "They are not bad for one another."
"It will take more than your words to convince me otherwise" Éowyn said. "Though it was out of jealousy of me that Pippin left in the first place, two years ago. I will not let myself be the reason Merry loses a friend or fails to make one. And if this is what he needs for his back to heal, then all I can do is pray that Pippin will not forsake him."
"It was Pippin who brought him here in the first place" Aragorn reminded her. "He went through a lot of trouble getting him here. It was not only Pippin who left two years ago. What happened was no more his fault than it was Merry's. Merry does not blame him, you shouldn't either!"
"I don't like Peregrin" Éowyn said. "No matter what you say."
"You are being unjust."
"I don't think Merry sees him clearly."
"It is you who do not see him clearly" Aragorn said, getting agitated. "They were friends long before you came into their lives, who are you to pass out judgement or claim that you are better than he who was Merry's friend since his birth?"
"At least I respect it" Éowyn said. "And I respect Holdwine. Enough to let him ride off after Peregrin, when his heart desires to do so."
"You should give them a chance."
"I just did."
"His heart is in pain" Aragorn said.
"So I've seen."
"His body cannot heal fully while his heart is pained."
"So I've heard."
"What he needs is to settle things with Pippin."
"So I've just gave him the chance to do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to gather Holdwine's things."
Éowyn turned and hurried out of the stables, not wanting to spend more time around Aragorn right now. She was sad and upset over Merry leaving, hating that he was riding to Pippin, but there was nothing she could do. She knew she could easily have held him back but she had chosen to support him. She had seen that his heart longed to ride home with Pippin and she had not had the heart to make him stay. Even though she deeply disliked Pippin it was not up to her to decide whether he should be Merry's friend or not. She was not willing to risk their friendship in the same manner that had cost Pippin the friendship.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Pippin!" Merry cried, finally spotting his cousin after a long gallop. Dusky was getting tired, it was fortunate that he had found his cousin now. "Pippin!"
Pippin frowned and turned his head. His jaw dropped from surprise when he saw his cousin approaching and he quickly halted Crow.
"Merry?" he asked.
"Pippin…" Merry said, out of breath as he finally caught up to him. "Thank goodness I caught up with you!"
"What are you doing here?" Pippin asked.
"We were going to leave for home together" Merry said. "Were we not?"
"But you wanted to stay!"
"I'd rather ride home with you today."
Pippin grinned. He was glad that his cousin had caught up with him, he had not expected him to at all.
Merry grinned back at him, overjoyed with having caught up with his cousin. At that moment he felt something he had hinted since Éowyn had told him Pippin had left. He felt his old need to be around his cousin, and all the love he had for his crazy relative. Suddenly his back didn't feel the least bit sore anymore.
Pippin in return was beginning to feel the same way too. He got Crow moving and Merry followed right next to him. Suddenly Pippin noticed something and frowned.
"Where's your pack? You haven't got a thing with you!"
"I left in such a hurry when I found out you had gone" Merry said. "Éowyn will pack my things and deliver them tomorrow. I will get to say a more proper goodbye to her then. Tonight I will have to share your food pack."
Pippin nodded. His heart was so light he could burst out singing. For without even knowing it, Merry had made his choice anew, this time with a different outcome. He had chosen Pippin above Éowyn, and the fact that he probably didn't realise it himself only made it more special for Pippin. It was like the old days, the two out riding together. It was as if nothing had changed or ever been wrong between them. Pippin prayed this feeling would last.
"Pip…" Merry said and reached out his hand for his cousin. "You know, you are my best friend in the whole world."
Pippin smiled and took Merry's hand in his.
"And you're mine too."
"And it will always be like that, won't it?" Merry said. "The two of us, friends forever!"
"Yes" Pippin said. "Forever."
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Thank you for reading! I hope Éowyn didn't come off even worse in this chapter! I guess what I'm trying to portray is that she's never know much about Pippin and the most contact she's had with him was when he and Merry fought, so that's why she's not fond of him. Hopefully she doesn't seem like a complete bitch or something!
Please review and give me your thoughts and opinions! Next chapter will be up on a Friday, as usual =)
Disclaimer: Characters and events from LotR are used without permission.
Dedication: I would like to dedicate this chapter to the memory of Jason Raize, a very talented young man who I just learned committed suicide in early February! Raize sang the song "Endless Night" which I used in the chapter where Merry and Pippin cancel their friendship and it is a very magical voice who has left us. A great tragedy =(
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Up on that hilltop and then back?" Merry suggested.
Éowyn answered by driving her horse into a gallop with a cry. Merry answered the challenge at once and stormed after her on his pony. The two raced to the hilltop but Merry didn't stand a chance against the Lady on her mearas horse.
Laughing happily Éowyn held in her beast when she reached the hilltop and waited for Merry to catch up. She loved being out riding with him again, she had not expected to see him again for years. She only wished he were there under happier circumstances. His back was hurting him, she could tell even though he tried to hide it.
Merry felt a lot better being in Gondor again, breathing the air that seemed more free and being surrounded by friends of old. But it had been a long and difficult journey, he knew Pippin had had many difficulties with him during the two months it had taken them to travel. They both put their trust and hope to Strider now, if he couldn't heal Merry then no one could. They both hoped their long and difficult journey had not been in vain.
"And now back" Éowyn said with a laugh when Merry reached the hilltop as well. "King Elessar will hold me personally responsible if you are not safely tucked in at the Houses of Healing within the hour!"
"Then I'll tell him it was my fault I was late" Merry said. He didn't long to go back to the Houses, he preferred being out riding.
"You'd better be back when he tells you to be back, or he won't let you go out riding again for a long time! You had to nag a lot just to get two hours now!"
"I know…" Merry said. "I wish he would let me out more. Here I am, in my favourite place in all the world, and I don't get to enjoy it!"
"You will get to enjoy it" Éowyn promised. "I shall not let you return to the Shire without having ridden with you to my brother."
"How is Éomer King?" Merry asked as they began to ride back to Minas Tirith.
"He is well" Éowyn said. "Rohan is in it's prime. The lands have never been better. He rules in easy times."
"But was crowned during darker" Merry said. "He has well earned the peace in his lands, and so has his people."
"We all have."
They rode slowly back to Minas Tirith, taking the road that led to one of the side gates. Merry never rode across the Pelennor fields unless he had to. This time around he had felt the pain in his back and his arm even worse when he had taken that road into the city upon his arrival two months earlier. That place seemed cursed to him.
"I have good news" Éowyn said as they approached the White City. "Elboron will be arriving a week from today."
Merry's face lit up.
"Elboron! That is great news! For how long will the young lord stay?"
"I cannot say" Éowyn said. "He has some lass in Ithilien that he does not wish to be parted from for long, so I should not expect him to stay for more than a week."
"It will do my heart good to see him" Merry said.
"Nearly a quarter of a century has now passed since that spring when he came into the world" Éowyn said. "It makes me feel like I'm growing old."
Merry glanced at her. He didn't know her true age, he had never asked or wanted to know, but he had always assumed she was only a few years younger than him. He would guess her age to about sixty, though anyone who saw her would guess she was no older than forty. Her blonde hair had few strains of grey and her face was almost completely free of wrinkles. Merry guessed some grace had been put upon her at the Houses of Healing after the Pelennor fields, he hoped that whatever grace that might be it would prolong her life. Her race did not live as long as his, it pained him to know that she would die while he still had many years to linger in this world.
The guards at the gate let them in to the city and they rode in silence through the streets of Minas Tirith. People watched them on the sly as they rode by. They made a remarkable pair, the Lady and what people believed to be a Prince of the Perian. One was tall and fair with long hair put up in a bow, riding straddled instead of side-saddled on her brown mearas pony. The other was considerably shorter, with a more weather-beaten face and a mop of thick, curly hair on his head. He rode a rugged pony that looked like it mostly longed for the nearest meal, as did probably the rider. Together the lady and the perian were a remarkable pair who had accomplished extraordinary things together. It was said that they spoke without words and through great distances, a story that had originated after Éowyn's ride to the Shire a few years ago. Not too many people believed it, but it added extra flavour to an interesting tale.
Children gathered on the sides of the streets to see them ride by. All their lives they had heard of this pair in song and tale, but so long had passed since Merry's last visit to Minas Tirith that the children had begun to believe it was all just make-believe. Now they could see the perian riding with his lady and they whispered and pointed. Merry and Éowyn paid them no heed and continued toward the Houses of Healing.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Pippin shifted his weight from one foot to the other and tried to stay awake. It was great to be back in Gondor, but being posted as a guard outside the citadel was not his favourite task in the world. He preferred being inside with Aragorn, especially now when he knew lunch was being served, but there was no use in complaining. He would get his lunch in an hour or so, Aragorn liked keeping him in circulation between different posts instead of always keeping him by his side. Pippin and the taller guard standing on the other side of the door would have someone take over from them just in time for the last lunch shift to start.
Pippin smiled slightly when a twelve-year-old boy came walking across the courtyard, whistling as he went. Whistling was not permitted in the surroundings of the citadel but Pippin didn't say anything to the boy. His fellow guard however told the child to be quiet.
The child came up to Pippin and without saying a word snuck an apple into his hand. Then he took off again with a grin and whistled on his way down the stairs. Pippin appreciated the gesture from the child, whose name was Tergoril son of Bergil, but put the apple aside for now. He was not permitted to eat or drink while he was on guard.
His stomach growled loudly and Pippin could see in the corner of his eye how the other guard tried to hide a grin. He and Merry were well known for their constant hunger and Pippin hated when the other soldiers found that funny. He wished his stomach would be quiet, but most of all he wished he could eat that apple.
Finally two citadel guards came to take over the posts by the door and Pippin bit down on his apple before he had even reached the White Tree. He hurried toward the dining hall used by the guards and ignored the looks and comments he got on the way. Mostly children whispered and pointed, the legendary Ernil i Pheriannath was among them and not just a figure in a story. Some adults as well stared at him as he passed them by, whispering to each other that this was the perian who had saved the life of Lord Faramir.
Pippin had been flattered at first by the attention given to him, and by people still remembering him after his long absence. But soon it had only gotten tiresome, he was not there to be praised and observed, he was there so that Merry could find help for his aching back.
It was a relief when he finally reached the dining hall and could shut the curious crowds out. Unfortunately there were a lot of curious minds among the soldiers dining with him as well. Many of them were under thirty and had little if any memories from the War. In their eyes Pippin was an exotic creature who had stepped right out of song and legend, and Pippin had soon learned to keep to himself and avoid the curious youngsters. The only soldier he ever talked much to was Bergil, his old friend from the War, who by now had a family of his own and three children. Pippin had trouble seeing him as a middle-aged man, in his mind he would always be the young boy who had been his companion and friend during some very lonely days during his first visit to the city.
Pippin took his time with his meal and ate as much as he was allowed to eat. At first many soldiers had complained that someone so small would get as much to eat as tall, strong men, but it had only taken them two days to realise that the Hobbit could easily have eaten for two of them. "Eating like a Perian" had become a joke between the soldiers, but they made sure the King did not overhear their new saying.
Once Pippin had eaten he hurried back to the citadel, where Aragorn would tell him where he was to be during the remainder of the day. The rest of the guards and soldiers had their appointed tasks and did the same thing almost every day, but in Pippin's case an exception had been made. The king liked having the halfling around, but also wanted him to do other duties. His assignments changed constantly, but so far he had not gotten to be at the Houses of Healing. He hoped he would get to go with Aragorn when he treated Merry, but knowing Strider he would probably only get to stand guard outside the door even if he was let into the Houses.
He was let into the citadel and found Aragorn and Arwen sitting on their thrones with the soon-to-be twenty-three-year-old prince on a smaller throne by their side. Pippin got down on his knee and bowed his head, as he knew he should, and was told for probably the hundredth time since his arrival in the city that he was not to bow before Strider.
"Pardon me" he mumbled and got up on his feet again.
"I have a special assignment for you, Peregrin Took" Strider said.
"For me?" Pippin said nervously, knowing very well that he was not always the best person to trust with important matters.
"The Lady Éowyn informed me today of young Lord Elboron's arrival a week from today. I need you to travel to Ithilien and bring him here. It is not wise for a young lord such as he to ride by himself such a distance."
Pippin's face lit up with a smile. If he was sent to Ithilien he would meet Faramir. He had not seen him yet since his arrival, the Lady Éowyn had arrived alone two days after the Hobbits, and Pippin had been disappointed.
"You will travel tomorrow morning" Aragorn continued. "You should reach Ithilien by luncheon time the day after that. Then you can assist Elboron in his preparations, make sure he only packs what he needs. When you're not with the young lord I believe I can trust that you will serve the Lord Faramir as well as only a devoted friend can. After three days time you will ride for Minas Tirith again and show Elboron to his rooms."
"Your wish is my command" Pippin said and bowed.
"My wish is for you to not bow to me."
"Nearly all your wishes are my command" Pippin said with a grin.
"As for this afternoon, you will be preparing for your journey tomorrow."
Pippin nodded and took that as a command to leave. He began walking down the hall when Aragorn's voice halted him.
"And Pippin! Make sure you only pack as much food as you'll need, and do not stop for unnecessary meals!"
"You have my word" Pippin said and continued down the hall. Once again Aragorn's voice stopped him.
"Second breakfast is not a necessary meal!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Pippin found himself whistling while he packed his things for the upcoming trip. He was excited about getting to see Ithilien again, but most of all getting to see lord Faramir again. Faramir had always represented the ideal person for Pippin, he was everything Pippin hoped his own son would be. He had often had that in mind over the years and raised his own Faramir accordingly. Diamond had not always approved but now she had nothing bad to say now about how their son had been raised. Faramir was a good lad.
Pippin was also looking forward to seeing Elboron. He had not seen him for years, and he loved the special relationship between them. Pippin had always seen himself as a servant to Elboron just as he was a servant to Elboron's father, at the same time Elboron had looked up to Pippin and seen him as a hero. They had a relationship that seemed indifferent to age differences, race differences and cultural differences.
Suddenly he realised that he had to write Diamond and Faramir today, or the letter would not be sent until the next shipment two months later. He began searching through his things to find something to write on, and then had to search long and hard to find a pencil. He had not found the time to sort out his things and create the order he was used to in his room, he had been busy almost every minute since his arrival in Minas Tirith.
Eventually he decided that he would put off the search for a pencil, the sooner he got his things packed the sooner there would be fewer things to search through. Packing for a trip like this was not hard in normal cases, but Pippin tried to make as much room as possible for extra food to sneak along.
By the time he was finished packing he was starving and headed off to Aragorn's private chambers to find something to eat. He knew he was more than welcome there, as long as he was off duty, and he also knew that there was always food around in Aragorn's private dining room.
He found his friend crouched over some books when he entered through the library. How anyone could bore themselves with books when there was food to be eaten Pippin couldn't quite understand, but then again Strider had never shown the respect for food that a Hobbit would.
Aragorn looked up at him and gave him a smile, then returned to his books. He was glad that it had been so simple to get Pippin to leave the city for a few days. Aragorn didn't want him present while he begun the more serious treatment of Merry's back. So far the Hobbit had not responded to the simpler treatments and Aragorn had decided to begin something a bit more serious.
He glanced at his books and wondered if perhaps Pippin was on the right track with choosing food above literature. It would be nice to share a meal with his friend before he left for a week. It felt like a loss to have him gone for a week when he was only in Gondor for as long as Merry's back would require it, but in this case it was for the better. It would probably be easier for Merry too, not having Pippin around right now.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Merry stood by the window in his room at the Houses of Healing and looked out. He could see parts of the Pelennor Fields and it made him thoughtful. It was hard to believe that such a great battle had once stood on the now so peaceful fields, that many good men had died horrible deaths out on that field which had then been a battlefield. But even more difficult to believe was that he himself had taken part in that battle, that he had been out there among all the humans and orcs and mûmakil, fighting for freedom and the right to exist. He had been a true fool in his younger years, what had he thought getting into that battle? Some powerful might must have watched over him that day, by all rights he should be as dead as Théoden King.
The door opened behind him and he turned his head to see who it was. It could only be one of two people, everybody knocked save for Éowyn and Aragorn. It turned out to be the latter, there to tend to Merry's aching back.
"Good morning" Aragorn said.
"Good morning" Merry replied and turned his eyes back to the window. "I hear Pip left for Ithilien today."
"I sent him to accompany Elboron on his way here."
Merry nodded slowly and thoughtfully. Elboron, soon to be twenty-four years old, son of Faramir and Éowyn. Where had all the years gone? Merry couldn't believe he was going to turn sixty-five this summer, let alone that he had a daughter who would be eighteen. Close to thirty years had passed since the day when the Battle of the Pelennor Fields had stood. Thirty years ago he had felt young and invincible. Now he felt old and tired, even though he knew he probably had a good forty years ahead of him. He was ageing, and it was beginning to show. Not only in the grey strains in his curls, but in his physical condition. He doubted that his back would have troubled him so much had he been young and strong.
"I need you to lie down on the bed" Aragorn said and took off his cape.
Merry nodded and left the window. There was something about the Pelennor Fields which made his eyes land on it every time it was within sight, but it felt only good to take his eyes off those plains and momentarily try to forget that they even existed.
"I'm sorry" Aragorn said. "But the method of treatment I wish to try will probably cause you some pain."
"And that's why you sent Pippin away?" Merry asked and took his shirt off.
"Yes" Aragorn said as Merry climbed up on the bed and lied down. He walked up to his friend and gently began massaging his back in order to make the upcoming treatment a bit easier on the Hobbit. "Something isn't right between you, you are not acting around each other the way that you should. But I know that Peregrin will still be very protective of you if he finds out you're being hurt by my treatment. It's better for all of us if he's not here and does not know."
"I wish I could go to Ithilien…" Merry said. "But I'll have to wait until I'm more fit for travelling. The journey here was a real pain, literally!"
"What is the problem between you and Pippin?" Aragorn asked, mostly to get Merry to talk and keep his mind off his back for a moment. Aragorn was aware of what had happened between them and had an idea of what things were like now, but he had a feeling it would do Merry's back good if he got to talk about it. One thing both he and Merry knew very well was that if the heart was not feeling well the body would react.
"I don't know" Merry said. "I've spent a year trying to figure it out. It's like we're nothing. We're not best friends, we're not friends, we're not angry with each other… Sometimes I wonder if we're still cousins or if that's no longer valid either."
"What really happened that was so bad it made you two part ways? I would have thought death would be the thing to do that."
"I'm still trying to figure that out too" Merry said. "We just began to grow apart and Pip couldn't handle it. That's how it all started… In the end I don't even think we knew what we were fighting about when we broke from each other."
"If so then it can hardly have been anything that will last forever" Aragorn said. "If you don't know why you're fighting then chances are you're not fighting over anything at all. Once you realise that things will work out."
"Or maybe we were fighting over nothing just to be able to make that clean break" Merry said.
"Do you wish for it to remain like this?" Aragorn asked and began tracing down Merry's back to find the spot that was most sore. "With you not being as close as you were? It's an awful lot to lose, dear friend."
"I miss what we used to have" Merry said. "Nothing we have gained in freedom and ability to grow has been worth as much as the bond we shared. I've always loved him and I still do."
"Do you think Pippin feels that way?"
"I don't know."
"Pippin has always seemed like he values your bond more than anything in the world. Pardon me Merry but I've always believed he would be the one who kept you two together whatever life threw at you."
"Not anymore" Merry said.
"What changed?"
"Peregrin."
Aragorn nodded, deciding it wasn't worth pushing the subject any further. If Merry was ready to talk he would talk. But it was hard getting one of them to open up about negative things concerning the other, throughout everything that had happened they had still kept their defensive walls up. They defended one another from outer attacks still, and would probably consider it a betrayal to talk to someone else in the fellowship about the situation. There was a wall that the two put up against the rest of the world which seemed impossible to breach.
"I guess… things will just go on like they are now" Merry said. "We could probably still have a normal friendship, the kind normal people normally have. But it is a step back from where we used to be."
"You let me know if there's anything I can do. To help you or to help the situation." Aragorn said. "That goes for both you and Pippin. There's no use in having friends if you can't come to them when you need them."
"If I wasn't aware of that I wouldn't be here now" Merry said.
Aragorn nodded. Then he placed his fingers carefully yet firmly around the toughest spot on Merry's aching back. The first step in the treatment involved something that could unfortunately break the Hobbit's back if Aragorn wasn't careful. It was a good thing indeed that he had sent Pippin away, for the process would undoubtedly be quite painful for Meriadoc.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
That evening Aragorn was crouched over his books again when the doors were flung open and Éowyn stormed in, looking very upset. She had just come from the Houses of Healing and had heard about the treatment Aragorn had given Merry earlier in the day.
"Aragorn!" she said angrily, skipping all formalities. "I've just visited the Houses! Is it true what they say?"
"You've heard of Merry's treatment, I suspect" Aragorn said and put his book aside.
"Treatment? You call that treatment? He looks so worn and spent! The women said they could hear him scream out in the hallway! Is that how you treat those you claim to love?"
"Éowyn" Aragorn said and rose from his chair. "Not all treatments are herbs and bedrest. None of the things I have tried earlier have worked, Merry's back is no better now than it was when he first came here, I had to try some alternative methods!"
"And making him cry out with pain is a better method?" Éowyn asked.
"Merry understands the pain" Aragorn said. "He knows why I give him that treatment. I've explained the entire procedure to him. He is willing to try it."
"Probably fearing you'll hurt him worse if he doesn't comply!"
"My lady!" Aragorn said in a warning tone. "That is out of order. I would watch my tongue if I were you."
"I will watch my tongue" Éowyn said. "But I will watch over Holdwine first. Nobody else seems to."
"He has many friends" Aragorn said.
"Right" Éowyn said. "One who abandons him. One who hurts him. I fear what those other friends will do to him."
"Sometimes it has to hurt before it can heal!" Aragorn said. "You my lady have no training in medicine and know not of what you speak! Furthermore you know nothing of the bonds we share with Merry. I have travelled with him far longer than you, my Lady. Do you not trust me to try everything else before I try something that will hurt him?"
"I don't know if I trust any of his friends anymore" Éowyn said.
"Do you then not trust yourself?"
"I have not let him down. You have today."
"Perhaps it will be better for you if you went back to Ithilien" Aragorn said. "I sent Pippin away so that he wouldn't react the same way you have. Maybe you ought to join him."
"What would Pippin care?" Éowyn asked.
"He brought Merry here in the first place, did he not?"
"I will not be sent away" Éowyn said. "Someone has to stay and watch over him."
"He is a grown Hobbit" Aragorn objected. "He can watch over himself."
"He has probably had to learn."
"Bite your tongue before you say anything that you will long regret. Merry has agreed to keep up this treatment and you ought to act according to his wishes."
"I will not let you hurt him" Éowyn said and raised her index finger at Aragorn to emphasise her words. Then she turned around and stormed out.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Hurry, my lord Elboron" Pippin said and glanced at the sun in the sky. "We must reach our camp site before sunset and it's still quite a while to ride."
"I'm sorry, Master Pippin" Elboron said and drove his horse to a trot so that he could catch up with the Hobbit. He had gotten sidetracked by the sight of a wild deer and forgotten that he was riding toward Minas Tirith, not out joyriding. "It's just I don't get to ride here too often, I wish I could see more of the lands!"
"You have a lifetime to see the lands" Pippin said. "Our camp is far away still and my stomach is in the need for dinner now!" Elboron laughed and grabbed a fruit from a tree he rode by. He handed it to Pippin, who thankfully accepted and feasted on the unexpected treat. Pippin wished the ride would be over soon, he loved Ithilien and he loved Minas Tirith, but the road in-between was not as fun. It felt like a waste of time to be on the road.
"I cannot wait to see Minas Tirith again" Elboron said. "It's been such a while since I visited the city… Father is there every other week but I often have to stay at home."
"Someone has to manage your father's duties while he's away" Pippin said.
"Does your Faramir manage your duties while you're here?" Elboron asked, interested in anything that had to do with the Shire.
"Faramir is sixteen" Pippin said with a laugh. "And Hobbits do not come of age at twenty, as you do. We come of age at thirty-three, so in your ages it would probably be like letting a twelve-year-old handle things. When I'm gone my brother-in-law manages my duties."
Elboron pondered that for a moment.
"Sometimes I wish I could be a Hobbit, and be young and free much longer."
"Oh don't think my Faramir gets to run around doing whatever he chooses" Pippin said. "He has to help out around the Smials, with the farming in particular. The Thains have been farmers as far back as anyone can remember, there's not a lot of free time in that life."
Elboron nodded slowly. He was glad he didn't have to do any farming. He had never had that love for the earth and soil that the people of Rohan had, he felt more comfortable when his hands were clean.
They rode on in silence for a while. Both wished they were at Minas Tirith already, especially since the weather was not so good. It was winter still, and the winds were chilly. Pippin pulled his Elf cape around him and longed for a hot meal, a pint of ale and a nice fireplace.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Merry was sitting up on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him from the waist down. He was trying his best to read but didn't really feel up to it. It had been a long and trying week and he was glad to have a day's rest with the treatment. He hoped Aragorn knew what he was doing, for the treatment was painful and put a lot of stress on him. So far his back wasn't doing any better, but Aragorn said it was all part of the process.
Merry leaned forward and turned so that he could look out the window, which was located on his right on the same wall as the head of the bed. He could only see the sky from this angle, but it appeared to be a fine day. How he wished he could be out riding with Éowyn instead of being cooped up in this room. Though he knew that even if he got permission he wouldn't be able to go out riding today. His back needed rest, he needed rest.
Half-heartedly he turned his attention back to the book. One of the women working at the Houses had brought him a whole sack filled with books that he could read during his long lonely hours when Aragorn had duties to tend to and Éowyn was busy. Merry wasn't very interested in any of the books she had brought him but he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings.
What grieved Merry the most was that he felt like an old man, unable to go outside, chained to his bed by his ill back and a burden to all. It was a growing concern for him, the fact that he was growing older. He wanted to stay young and strong forever, even though he knew that wasn't possible. Having to slowly grow weaker and more tired was hard on him, and he felt it was all happening too soon. He was not at all very old for a Hobbit, but he constantly compared himself to how he had been during the great War. The strength and joy of life he had felt then was gone.
In his heart he knew he had many long years ahead of him. Unless something unforeseen happened, such as an accident or a disease, he would be a grandfather by the time he passed on, Théodoc would be well over forty when he became Master of Buckland. But now he worried that he would face all those years with a bad back. Most of all he worried that he would face the years on his own.
There was a soft knock on the door and Éowyn entered. She smiled slightly and Merry grinned. He was happy to see her, happy to have someone keeping him company.
"I thought you might be asleep…" Éowyn said, explaining her knock.
"I'm too bored to be asleep" Merry said. "Come in! Sit with me!"
"How do you feel?" Éowyn asked.
"Like Strider predicted I would. Like my back is going to split in two. But if the pain goes away for good in the end then it will be worth it. Sit!"
She sat down next to him and handed him an apple she had brought with her. He happily accepted it and began munching away.
"I have good news" she said. "Elboron should arrive shortly. He and Peregrin have been sighted not far from the city."
"I can't wait to see him again!" Merry said.
"Unfortunately, I won't be keeping you company for long" Éowyn said. "I promised the king I would take Elboron with me to the citadel after his arrival. But my son and I will both be seeing you as soon as possible."
"Why does Strider want him in the citadel?" Merry asked.
"He did not say and I did not ask. You look weary."
"Strange, isn't it?" Merry said. "That doing nothing can make you tired. I wish I could be up and about, my legs are itching to go out and walk through the parks!"
"You will get to do that" Éowyn promised him. "But right now you need your rest. Go to sleep, if you are tired. I will stay for as long as I can."
Merry nodded and finished his apple without saying anything else. Éowyn took the book from him and put it down on the nightstand. She watched him with worried eyes as he pulled another blanket around him and closed his eyes to get some sleep. She hated seeing him like this, Hobbits were supposed to be active and funloving beings, not fettered to sickbeds and weary with pain. But she knew that Merry was not quite as much Hobbit now as he had been before. She didn't even notice that she had said the last part out loud until Merry replied.
"You're right…" he said. "I've often thought so myself."
"Pardon" Éowyn said and blushed. "I, I didn't mean to…"
"You know what I've sometimes thought?" Merry asked and opened his eyes again.
"Shhhh… You should try to get some sleep!"'
"I think I gave up part of my Hobbitness, or lost it, when we killed the Witch King. In order to kill him I had to give up part of what makes a Hobbit a Hobbit. And that's why I'm not like the others in the Shire, I'm not as carefree as they are anymore and I'm not as light-hearted."
"Do not say that" Éowyn said. "Such a terrible price to pay! You hold on to those qualities Master Holdwine, they are very special. They are what make you different from all the men here, those who would never have done what you did."
"Perhaps I just think too much."
"Maybe so. Now I don't want you to think another thought right now, just close your eyes and go to sleep!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
When Merry woke up Éowyn was gone. Instead Pippin was parked in a chair looking through a book, seeming quite intrigued by the story. So they had arrived, finally. Merry smiled, hoping he would get to see Elboron soon.
He yawned and looked around the room. It was getting quite dark, the only light was the candle Pippin had with him while he read. His cousin was so into the plot of the book that he didn't notice that Merry had woken up, and Merry didn't alert him to the fact. He let his mind wonder and had gone through a number of topics in his head before Pippin finally looked up and noticed that the sleeping patient was no longer sleeping.
"Well good morning to you" he said and put his book aside. "Or should I say good evening? Do they not make you do anything else but sleep? Why can't I get to be a patient here for once?"
"Well if you're willing to trade…"
Pippin rose from his chair and walked over with the candle. He then slumped in the chair Éowyn had been sitting in and tried to find something suiting to say.
"Is your back any better?" he asked.
"Aragorn likes the 'darker before dawn' principle. So far it's getting darker… Dawn should arrive soon hopefully."
"And what does that mean?"
"It means it's not so good right now but Strider says it will be."
"Good!" Pippin said and grinned.
"How was Ithilien?"
"Great, as usual. It was very nice to see Faramir again, and my how Elboron has grown! My only worry is that I forgot to write to Diamond and my own Faramir before I left, now they're going to worry when they don't hear from me!"
"You're even less of a Hobbit than I am" Merry sighed. "Be not worried, they will probably think you're too busy to write them. When I wrote my letters earlier in the week I mentioned that you had ridden to Ithilien to bring the Lord Elboron to Minas Tirith, Diamond will understand that it is the reason why you didn't write."
"I will have to be very nice to her in my next letter" Pippin said with a smile.
"How I wish I could have gone with you" Merry said with a longing sigh. "Is Ithilien still as beautiful as ever?"
"Even in winter" Pippin said.
Merry nodded and had a dreaming look on his face. He hoped that one day he would find the time to write a book about Ithilien, Rohan and other foreign places he loved. If he could put the beauty of these places down on paper he could share it with other Hobbits in generations to come. But he didn't know if he was gifted enough to be able to do the lands any justice.
Pippin's mind wandered a bit. He wasn't sure what to say and it felt queer to share a silence with Merry that wasn't comfortable. "So you're really bored in this bed, huh?" he finally said.
"You wouldn't believe it" Merry said. "I don't want to be cooped up in here! I want to be out in the gardens, or riding across the plains, or walking the streets of the city! I envy you, I wish I could get to work at the citadel!"
"Do not envy me just yet" Pippin said. "Standing guard by doors is anything but fun!"
"But getting to see the city is! Not to mention you get to be around Strider and you get to see the citadel. Surely the good things outnumber the bad."
"That they do" Pippin admitted. "You will get your chance, Meriadoc."
"I've never served Aragorn" Merry said. "I feel bad that I won't be serving Éomer this time around. The last time I served him I after a few weeks got really queer looks from the other soldiers. They serve him all year round, I show up for a couple of months after having been gone for years, and I'm treated more like a member of the court than one of the soldiers. Do the others look at you that way here, Pip?"
"No" Pippin said. "They make fun of my eating habits!"
"Humans!" Merry said. "They just don't understand the importance of second breakfast! Or afternoon tea!"
"I know!" Pippin said with feeling. "Each time my stomach growls they smirk and laugh! I can't help that I'm hungry!"
"Do they stare at you when they think you're not looking?" Merry asked. "Because they do that in Rohan. Those who were in the War don't, though some of them patronise me, but the younger don't seem to be able to make sense out of me being in that War they have heard so much about. I've heard them crack jokes about how my sword must have been longer than I am for me to be able to kill any orcs!"
"I don't know if the soldiers stare, but everybody else does! I can't walk down the streets without whispers and pointing."
"For the young it must be like we stepped right out of a fairy tale."
"But shouldn't they have grown used to us by now?" Pippin said. "We've been here for quite some time!"
Merry nodded. It was strange how the humans seemed unable to get used to the sight of the two halflings who walked the streets of Minas Tirith. Many saw it as another proof of Elessar King's might, that the Princes of the Halflings served him as humbly as any of the other soldiers, others said they were the King's good luck bringers. Lately Pippin had noticed that it was a sport among the children to run up and touch him as he walked by. They thought it would bring good luck, but the children were all afraid of approaching him so it had become a sport. Pippin hated how he was unable to move around in the city in peace.
"Either way…" Merry said. "I envy you for getting to walk around in the city at your free will. While you're not on duty, I mean."
"You will be too in no time."
"As soon as I'm well again we're going back home" Merry pointed out.
"We are?" Pippin asked.
"Well then we've done what we came here to do, haven't we?"
"Yes, you're right" Pippin said and smiled. "The Shire. It will be nice to go back home, as much as I like it here."
"I must admit I wish I were home right now" Merry said. "Lucky's got a pneumonia, poor child. I wish I was there for him."
"Merry, you do realise that Estella wrote that letter probably a month ago, and that Lucky is fine now?"
"You're right" Merry said and smiled slightly.
"It will be a nicer ride home than the ride here was, I'm sure" Pippin said. "Perhaps we might even get to enjoy the scenery."
"Sorry for being so much trouble when we went here" Merry said. "I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll be nothing but nice on the way back."
Pippin laughed.
"Sure you'll be…"
Merry made a face at him and shifted in the bed. Then he grimaced with pain. He had to remind himself not to make any sudden movements or his back felt like it was being stabbed by a dozen knives.
"But before we can return…" Pippin said, "we have to fix that back of yours. Just keep your focus on that for now. As soon as you're well enough to travel without being bothered by your back, we'll leave."
"I don't know whether I wish for it to be soon or not" Merry said. "Leaving Gondor… But you're right, we must go back."
"We're not here on a social call" Pippin reminded him. "Nor to serve our lords. Little preparations were made in the Shire before we left, we cannot be gone longer than we necessarily have to. Fatty Bolger will have wrecked Buckland for sure!"
"I didn't leave Fatty in charge" Merry said. "My cousin Berilac is filling in as Master. It's a lot safer that way, he knows what he's doing more than my brother-in-law, plus Fatty didn't seem to enjoy being fill-in Master that much when last I was gone."
"Fredegar was not born for things like that" Pippin said.
"No, he wasn't… But we on the other hand were. I'll tell my back to hurry up and get better, so that we can return as soon as possible!"
"You do that" Pippin said and rose. "Now then… I shall go get something to eat, a second supper won't hurt anyone, and I'll have some food sent up to you as well. I'll see you in a few days, Merry. Take care of yourself, rest a lot and don't put any strains on your back! Remember, the sooner it is well the sooner we can go home!"
"Bye now Pip…" Merry said and waved.
"Bye."
Pippin left and closed the door carefully behind him. Heading for Aragorn's private dining hall he smiled to himself. He did indeed look forward to going home, as much as he loved being in Gondor. Spending time with Elboron had made him long for home and his child, and he had thought much about how grand it would be to go out riding with his own Faramir. In the end, that was better than Gondor.
He hoped Merry's back would improve soon, for both their sakes. He was a bit worried about his cousin, it had seemed like he had taken a step back when he had seen him this evening, he had been pale and seemed to have more pain in his back than before. Pippin told himself it was all in his head. Of course Merry was getting better. He was in Strider's hands, what could go wrong?
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Aragorn frowned and looked worriedly at Merry. The Hobbit was not responding half as well to the treatment as he should have, Aragorn had never seen a halfling responding worse than a human to any form of treatment at all. He was not willing to give up just yet, but if Merry didn't start showing signs of improvement soon he would have to think of something else. He was beginning to wonder if he'd be able to cure his friend at all. Perhaps a bad back was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life.
"Merry" he said. "You know I am doing everything I can."
"Yes" the Hobbit nodded.
"There is still only so much I can do" Aragorn said. "The rest has to come from you."
"I know" Merry said.
"A healthy back will only come to you if you're healthy in your heart. Personal problems or sorrows will make the healing process much more difficult."
"Things are better now than they used to be" Merry said. "It's a slow process. Though I'm beginning to adjust."
"Is that how it's going to be?" Aragorn asked. "Instead of trying to solve your problems you adjust to them?"
"Yes" Merry said casually with a shrug to the shoulder. "As time goes by, the emotional wounds will heal, and so will my back. Time has a way of fixing things." He turned his head as far as he could and looked at Aragorn. "Is this what I have to go through to be able to live a full life without Pip? This whole thing with my back, I mean?"
"It just might be" Aragorn said.
"Well if it is… then that's what it is. What can I do about it? I can do this, Strider, I can. Don't you worry about me. I'll get on with my life, live as completely as I used to."
"I wish you wouldn't" Aragorn said. "It breaks my heart to see you two, who were always so dear with one another, now acting almost like strangers."
"I think we need to" Merry said. "How are we to grow otherwise? Our friendship has never really nurtured the individual."
"That's where you're wrong" Aragorn said. "That was part of what was so special. You were individuals all along."
"Things will be fine Strider" Merry said, not sounding the least bit bothered with the problems at the moment. "I've accepted things for the way they are. Are you going to do that painful part yet? I'd rather you just did it instead of rubbing and talking."
"I have some good news" Aragorn said and as gently as he could began his cracking. "Tomorrow you're going to get out of here."
"Lovely" Merry whined in pain.
"You're going swimming" Aragorn said. "It will be good for your back. And it will get you out of this room."
"Lovely" Merry repeated.
Aragorn nodded and intensified the treatment. It would be nice for the both of them to not have to do this the next day.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Come here" Éowyn said and handed a towel to the shivering Merry. The towel was huge in comparison to him and he quickly managed to roll himself into it quite nicely. The weather was not the best for a swim, but Aragorn had insisted on them going out anyway. Éowyn worried Merry would catch a cold, but neither the king nor the Hobbit seemed concerned about that. They were both busy thinking about the treatment.
Merry looked up at Éowyn, shivering in the cold wind, and smiled at her with lips that were slightly blue.
"Lovely day for a swim, don't you agree?"
"Inside you go" Éowyn commanded. "You have a hot meal waiting for you! Go!"
Merry rushed off, still wrapped in the towel, and Éowyn followed him with concerned eyes. Aragorn walked up to her and smiled slightly.
"Blessed be the happy spirit of the perian" he said.
"He will need that happy spirit" Éowyn said. "For he is not responding well to treatment. In fact he is worse now than when you begun."
"But not as bad as he was when he arrived" Aragorn said. "The pain in his back will come and go. Right now it has come. And yes, it is thanks to my treatment. But I have every reason to believe that he will be all-right in the end."
"He had better be" Éowyn said and began to walk back up the path Merry had taken.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Merry soon got himself something warm to eat and some nice, dry clothes to change into. After his meal he began walking from the dining hall up to the Houses of Healing, ignoring the people looking at him as he passed them by. Pippin, who had joined him in the dining hall, gave evil glares to any child or adult who cast as much as a glance at Merry, but his cousin didn't mind if people looked. He was only glad to be out from his room for once.
Éowyn came up to them after a while and made sure Merry was warm and full, and was at once assured that he was. She smiled at him as he looked around and took a deep breath of Minas Tirith air.
"It feels lovely to be outdoors" he said. "I think my back has improved a lot today. I can't really tell from just one occasion, but it feels good."
"I'm glad" Pippin said with a smile. "Then we can go home soon. Here we part ways for now, I must go up to the citadel!"
With a casual wave Pippin hurried towards the citadel, late for once. Éowyn saw the look on Merry's face and put her hand on his shoulder.
"You don't have to leave as soon as you're better" she said. "Stay. Go with me to Rohan. Éomer would love seeing you. Or stay here in Minas Tirith, we can go out riding!"
"I would love that…" Merry said.
"Then let's call it decided" Éowyn said.
"Pippin wants to return."
"He can wait for a while, can't he?" Éowyn said. "You are here so seldom!"
"Indeed we are" Merry said. "Oh how I would wish to stay longer…"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"What are you doing sleeping at this hour of the day?" a growling voice said, waking Merry up with a start.
Merry stirred slightly and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. He had been resting peacefully, not expecting to be woken up in this brisk way. He was getting used to resting by now, for the past month Aragorn had only allowed him to go out swimming twice a week, the other five days he was kept inside. Most of the time he had nothing to do but to rest.
"I must say!" the voice went on. "You lazy young Hobbits sure haven't changed a bit!"
"Neither have you, Gimli" Merry said and smiled.
"And what about me?" Legolas asked. "Have I changed?"
"Not a bit" Merry said and examined his friend closely. "Not a day have you aged!"
"People say the same about me" Gimli claimed, although his beard was beginning to look more grey than brown.
"It's wonderful to see you" Merry grinned. "What brings you here?"
"We should have been here long ago" Legolas said. "We didn't receive word that you were in the city until just recently. We were told that you were ill. How is your back?"
"Much better" Merry said and got out of bed.
Gimli thought to himself that if this was "much better" he didn't want to know how it had been at first. He knew the Hobbit was most likely exaggerating, unwilling to admit that he was in pain, but it was clear that the back was troublesome. Merry had not jumped out of bed, as he normally would, but rather climbed.
Aragorn had spoken with Gimli and Legolas upon their arrival and told them everything they needed to know. Gimli knew very well that Merry hadn't responded to treatment the way that he should have, and that though Aragorn had done all he could Merry was not fully healed. The only way he could ever be was up to him now.
"Come here laddie!" he said and pulled the Hobbit close for a hug, deciding not let on that he saw his friend's back was hurting him.
Merry returned the hug and felt really happy for the first time in ages. He had not seen Gimli or Legolas since he and Pippin last visited, it had been far too long. Legolas kneeled down and hugged him as well, and Merry felt it was really true. The Elf had not aged a day since the War. He was the only one in the Fellowship who hadn't.
"Did Strider tell you that as of the day after tomorrow I am officially no longer a patient at the Houses of Healing?" Merry asked with a grin.
"He has, old friend" Legolas said. "He invited us both to the party. I hear King Éomer is coming in from Rohan tomorrow."
"Indeed he is" Merry said. "It will be nice to be Lord Holdwine again. Have you seen Pip yet, by the way?"
"Not yet" Gimli said. "Aragorn had him occupied with something when we arrived and we went straight here once Aragorn had finished talking. Good thing we did, or you would have slept the entire afternoon away."
"And you would have envied every hour" Merry said.
It was wonderful to see them again. Merry was happy that they had come together, at the same time. That was how he loved seeing them, as a duo. There was something so comforting about that sight and it brought back many fond memories. It didn't occur to him that Legolas and Gimli felt the same way about seeing him with Pippin, and neither of them were sure how to act around the two Hobbits now that they had gone their separate ways.
"I am so glad you are here!" Merry said and got back up on the bed to ease his back. "You have to tell me everything that has been going on for the past years. Your letters don't say as much as I wish to know."
"Shouldn't we wait for Pippin?" Gimli had to ask.
"Oh, you can tell him later" Merry said. "Please, I'm dying to hear all about your doings. I am still as bored as ever in this room!" "Very well then" Legolas said and sat down on the floor in a graceful movement. "Should I go first, or would you rather like to hear Master Dwarf tell his tales first?"
"Whichever" Merry said. "I have a million questions to ask the both of you! I even wrote them down!" He fished out a long piece of paper from his pocket. "Each of your letters spark more questions than I have room to write in my replies. So I wrote my questions down on this paper, in the chance of me getting to see you and ask you in person!"
Legolas and Gimli shared a look. No matter what Aragorn had said about how the two halflings had changed, Merry was still very much like Merry.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Two days later a party was held to celebrate the end of Merry's treatment. Aragorn had taken him aside just before the party and reminded him to take it easy, his back was still very bad even though Aragorn had done all he could. Merry had rolled his eyes and said that he planned on having as much fun as possible during the party, after all, that was what was supposed to heal his back.
Now Aragorn couldn't help but frown at how the Hobbit was dancing around on a table together with Pippin, singing yet another one of their drinking songs. The act was however much appreciated by the people around them, who asked for one more song.
Éomer came up to Aragorn and handed him a tankard.
"He seems to be doing well" he said.
"I hope he is" Aragorn said.
"I had to command him to go have a good time" Éomer said. "He quickly fell into the role of esquire."
"The Hobbits always do."
"Well tonight is their night" Éomer said. "They can be esquires in the morning."
Aragorn nodded and smiled as the Hobbits clinked their tankards together and downed what was in them. They both seemed to be fine right now.
Three songs and a lot of ale later, the two finally got down from the table. They bowed to each other and then headed off in their separate ways, Pippin to find more ale and Merry to sit down and rest for a while. He sat down next to the young Elboron, who was still working on his first pint for the evening.
"You're going about it wrong" Merry said. "You do not sip your ale, my lord, you drink it. This isn't wine."
"It gives me headaches in the morning when I do" Elboron confessed.
Merry grinned and knew he would probably have quite a nice headache the next morning as well. But what did he care? Tonight was party night.
Pippin got his tankard filled and held it up high above his head to balance his way through the crowds. He sat down next to Legolas and Gimli, who were in the middle of debating over who could first finish a pint of ale. Pippin put his money on Gimli.
"Are you enjoying yourself, Master Peregrin?" Gimli asked as the Hobbit sat down.
"Verily" Pippin said, slurring a little.
"I think our previous debate just became pointless" Legolas said as Pippin began working on his ale. "The one who first could empty a pint is surely Pippin."
Pippin slammed his tankard down on the table and grinned.
"And I am very proud of it!" he announced.
He looked over at Merry, who was talking to Elboron some tables away, and smiled. Aragorn had said Merry's back was as fine as he would ever be able to get it. They were going to go home now. Pippin loved Gondor, but this time around it had not been about enjoying oneself and spending time with friends. They had come for one purpose only and now that purpose had been fulfilled. It was time to go back home.
"A toast!" he said and turned his attention back to the Elf and Dwarf. "To the Fellowship of the Ring! May Sam, Frodo, Gandalf and Boromir all be drinking ale too, wherever they are!"
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Merry?" Pippin said a few days later as Merry came rushing into the dining hall where Pippin was working on a stake by himself.
"Yes?" Merry asked and shoved a carrot into his mouth as he stopped to look for something. He had been sent by his lord Éomer and did not want to delay.
"I was thinking…" Pippin said.
"Why are you eating all by yourself?" Merry asked and cast a glance at the steak. "Where is everyone?"
"Off somewhere. But Merry, I was thinking… It's been over a week now since the party… Strider says you won't get any better than this! And I thought it was time to go home."
"We will" Merry said assuringly and ate another carrot while he searched through some drawers for the vessel Éomer had asked for, the one which they usually brought when they went out for longer rides.
"We said we would leave as soon as you were well again" Pippin said carefully.
"A few more days is not going to hurt us" Merry said and found the container. "You got to do lots of fun things while I was at the Houses, now it is only fair that I get to have some fun before we set off for the Shire."
"How long do you wish to stay then?" Pippin asked.
"Just a while longer" Merry said. "A few weeks or so, maybe a month. I really have to run now Pip, Éomer and I are going out for a long ride and we won't return before morning!"
"Have fun" Pippin muttered and sighed to himself as Merry hurried off.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Just in time for elevenzies the next day Éomer and Holdwine returned to Minas Tirith. Éowyn greeted them in the stables, ready to help them with their beasts. Éomer quickly excused himself and headed up to his chambers to answer some letters that had arrived for him that day. Merry stayed behind with Éowyn and helped her with the animals.
"Did you have a good ride then?" Éowyn asked.
"It was great" Merry said happily. "I thought I had seen all of the surroundings of Minas Tirith there was to see, but I have never before been where my Lord took me."
"Gondor has many places of great beauty" Éowyn said and led Éomer's proud white horse into his stable booth. "I'm glad to hear you had a good ride. You must tell me all about it, I'm curious to find out where my brother took you."
"I'm glad you convinced me to stay" Merry said and patted his pony on the neck. "I shall tell you all about our ride tonight, when we're sitting in front of a warm fireplace with something hot to drink. Right now I must confess I long for a hot bath and something warm to eat. Though spring is in the air, it is still cold outside."
"Then run along and warm yourself" Éowyn said. "I will look after Dusky."
"Thank you for the offer my lady" Merry said and patted his pony once more. "I think I shall take you up on it. Dusky is in great hands."
He gave the pony a carrot and his eyes fell on the booth his pony occupied while in Gondor. He raised an eyebrow.
"Pippin's out riding, is he?" he said. "Crow is gone."
"No, he's not out riding" Éowyn said.
"Then where is Crow?" Merry asked, knowing that Pippin's pony wasn't let out in the pastures with the other horses since he had a bad habit of kicking anything larger than him. In this place, that meant he kicked all animals save for Crow.
"Holdwine…" Éowyn said. "Peregrin left."
"Left where?"
"He went home."
"Home?" Merry repeated. He turned his head and looked at Éowyn with near panic in his eyes. "The Shire?"
"He said it was time for him to return" Éowyn said.
"But… But we were supposed to leave together, him and I!"
"You wished to stay" Éowyn reminded him. "Peregrin longed for home. He left while you were away so that you wouldn't have to feel forced to come with him. You do not work as clockwork anymore dear Holdwine, you go your separate ways."
"But…" Merry stuttered. "But… But we were going to go home together!"
"I'm sorry."
"When did he leave?"
"Just this morning."
Éowyn felt terribly sorry for Merry when she saw his reaction. He seemed to be near tears, fighting back what seemed like panic. He didn't seem to know what foot to stand on. Éowyn had not realised it would mean so much to Merry to travel back home together with Pippin, but now she saw that he felt like he had lost something of great value. Their journey home was one of the few things they still had together and now Pippin had left on his own.
"What are you waiting for?" she asked, hesitating only for a second. "Go! Get back up in the saddle, ride after him, you should be able to catch up to him! I'll pack your things and follow you on my mearas as soon as it can be arranged."
Merry looked at her with bewildered eyes. He looked at the open stable doors, then at Éowyn, then at the open doors again.
"Go!" Éowyn said. "Off with you!"
Without further ado Merry swung back up in his saddle. He looked at Éowyn one last time.
"I love you, my lady!" he said.
Then he drove Dusky to a gallop, heading after Pippin. Éowyn watched him go with sadness in her heart. Aragorn came up to her, having overheard the last part of the conversation but not wanting to intrude.
"You let him go?" he said.
"I had to" Éowyn said. Aragorn could hear how upset she was.
"I thought you didn't like Peregrin" he said.
"I don't" Éowyn said. "I never liked nor disliked him, until my visit to the Shire. He is worth nothing to me, other than that he is worth something to Merry. He is egoistic, petty and cares not for Holdwine the way he should."
"You don't know him well enough to say that" Aragorn objected. "Pippin is a good lad. You owe your husband's life to him."
"One act of valour does not make up for too many acts causing hurt."
"He has been hurt too" Aragorn said. "Merry is just as much to blame as Pippin."
"He is not good for him" Éowyn said. "If it were up to me he would have nothing further to do with Merry."
"Then why did you let him go after him?"
"Because it is not up to me. Merry has to decide for himself who should be his friend or not, I as his friend can only accept the choices that he makes. If he needs Pippin for any reason then I will not hinder him."
"I'm glad" Aragorn said. "They are not bad for one another."
"It will take more than your words to convince me otherwise" Éowyn said. "Though it was out of jealousy of me that Pippin left in the first place, two years ago. I will not let myself be the reason Merry loses a friend or fails to make one. And if this is what he needs for his back to heal, then all I can do is pray that Pippin will not forsake him."
"It was Pippin who brought him here in the first place" Aragorn reminded her. "He went through a lot of trouble getting him here. It was not only Pippin who left two years ago. What happened was no more his fault than it was Merry's. Merry does not blame him, you shouldn't either!"
"I don't like Peregrin" Éowyn said. "No matter what you say."
"You are being unjust."
"I don't think Merry sees him clearly."
"It is you who do not see him clearly" Aragorn said, getting agitated. "They were friends long before you came into their lives, who are you to pass out judgement or claim that you are better than he who was Merry's friend since his birth?"
"At least I respect it" Éowyn said. "And I respect Holdwine. Enough to let him ride off after Peregrin, when his heart desires to do so."
"You should give them a chance."
"I just did."
"His heart is in pain" Aragorn said.
"So I've seen."
"His body cannot heal fully while his heart is pained."
"So I've heard."
"What he needs is to settle things with Pippin."
"So I've just gave him the chance to do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to gather Holdwine's things."
Éowyn turned and hurried out of the stables, not wanting to spend more time around Aragorn right now. She was sad and upset over Merry leaving, hating that he was riding to Pippin, but there was nothing she could do. She knew she could easily have held him back but she had chosen to support him. She had seen that his heart longed to ride home with Pippin and she had not had the heart to make him stay. Even though she deeply disliked Pippin it was not up to her to decide whether he should be Merry's friend or not. She was not willing to risk their friendship in the same manner that had cost Pippin the friendship.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Pippin!" Merry cried, finally spotting his cousin after a long gallop. Dusky was getting tired, it was fortunate that he had found his cousin now. "Pippin!"
Pippin frowned and turned his head. His jaw dropped from surprise when he saw his cousin approaching and he quickly halted Crow.
"Merry?" he asked.
"Pippin…" Merry said, out of breath as he finally caught up to him. "Thank goodness I caught up with you!"
"What are you doing here?" Pippin asked.
"We were going to leave for home together" Merry said. "Were we not?"
"But you wanted to stay!"
"I'd rather ride home with you today."
Pippin grinned. He was glad that his cousin had caught up with him, he had not expected him to at all.
Merry grinned back at him, overjoyed with having caught up with his cousin. At that moment he felt something he had hinted since Éowyn had told him Pippin had left. He felt his old need to be around his cousin, and all the love he had for his crazy relative. Suddenly his back didn't feel the least bit sore anymore.
Pippin in return was beginning to feel the same way too. He got Crow moving and Merry followed right next to him. Suddenly Pippin noticed something and frowned.
"Where's your pack? You haven't got a thing with you!"
"I left in such a hurry when I found out you had gone" Merry said. "Éowyn will pack my things and deliver them tomorrow. I will get to say a more proper goodbye to her then. Tonight I will have to share your food pack."
Pippin nodded. His heart was so light he could burst out singing. For without even knowing it, Merry had made his choice anew, this time with a different outcome. He had chosen Pippin above Éowyn, and the fact that he probably didn't realise it himself only made it more special for Pippin. It was like the old days, the two out riding together. It was as if nothing had changed or ever been wrong between them. Pippin prayed this feeling would last.
"Pip…" Merry said and reached out his hand for his cousin. "You know, you are my best friend in the whole world."
Pippin smiled and took Merry's hand in his.
"And you're mine too."
"And it will always be like that, won't it?" Merry said. "The two of us, friends forever!"
"Yes" Pippin said. "Forever."
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Thank you for reading! I hope Éowyn didn't come off even worse in this chapter! I guess what I'm trying to portray is that she's never know much about Pippin and the most contact she's had with him was when he and Merry fought, so that's why she's not fond of him. Hopefully she doesn't seem like a complete bitch or something!
Please review and give me your thoughts and opinions! Next chapter will be up on a Friday, as usual =)