"Did you see anything, Ben?" It must have been the millionth time he had been asked, and yet we kept asking, hoping he'd answer someday.
This time, instead of staring blankly at Olivia, there was a slight movement of his head, which both Olivia and I saw; I could tell by the way she kind of perked up, almost like a dog hearing it's name.
"What did you see, Ben?"
His mouth opened, but he must have whispered it because from where I was, on the other side of the window, I couldn't hear him.
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Could you say that again, Ben?"
His mouth stayed shut.
"Ben, it's okay. I need to know. Then I can find out who did this and punish them. Do you understand?"
Again, the almost imperceptible nod of his head. Then, his mouth moved and I heard, "He killed them." I was clenching my hands in fists on the ledge before the window. He had talked. Finally, four weeks, a whole damn month later, he had talked. If I hadn't known any better, I might have burst into the room and scooped him up in a hug, I was so happy.
"Who?"
"The man."
"What did the man look like?" Upon being met with silence, she tried, "What color was his hair?"
He tugged on his own locks.
"Brown? Like yours?" He nodded. "How about his eyes? What color were they?" Silence again. "Did you see his eyes?" He shook his head. "That's okay. Did he have a beard, like Fin? Or was his face smooth, like Uncle John's?"
"A beard."
"Like Fin's?" He shook his head. "Okay, show me on your face where his beard was."
Ben touched his face, near his ear and went down to his chin, around his mouth and then up to the other ear.
"All over, then?" He nodded. "Was it the same color as the rest of his hair? Brown?" Ben shook his head again. "No? Then was it lighter? Or darker?"
"Lighter."
"Was it gray, or more blonde?"
"Gray."
"What was the man wearing?"
"Jeans. They had holes."
"Where were the holes?"
"On his knees."
"What else was he wearing?"
"A t-shirt. And a shirt with buttons."
"Like one Uncle John wears?" He shook his head. "What color was it?"
"Red and black."
"Did it look like this?" She grabbed a piece of paper and a couple of crayons from a nearby box. On it, she drew a few red squares and a few black ones, imitating a plaid pattern. Holding it up, she asked again, "Like this?" Ben nodded. "And what color was his t-shirt?"
"White..." It seemed as though he was going to say more and Olivia noticed this as well.
"What is it, Ben?"
"When he left... it was red."
It took all of my self restraint, and Cragen's hand on my arm, to keep me from going into that room and taking him away. At that point, Olivia looked up at us through the window and I saw the pain in her eyes, on her face. I wanted to go in and hug Ben, and then her, for being so great with kids, hell, just for being her. But Cragen's presence made me stop, once again.
"Did the man wear glasses?" Ben shook his head. "Did he say anything?" He didn't move or answer. Just stared at Olivia. "What did he say, Ben?" Still nothing. Olivia was looking at Ben when Cragen put his hand on my shoulder.
"Go in. That's enough for today." I met his eyes for a moment before entering the room and finally picking up and hugging Ben. Olivia followed Ben's movement with her eyes before standing.
"You did good, Ben. You did good." He buried his head in the crook of my neck and I held him as he started to cry. Glancing at Olivia, she nodded slowly, as if in agreement, then left, patting me on the back as she left me standing alone in the room with Ben. I closed my eyes and rubbed his back. "Shh... you did good."
He turned his head and said into my neck, "Do I have to do that again?"
And there was one question I couldn't answer.