"We have reason to suspect that whoever killed your brother and his wife are out to harm you."

I looked at Cragen. I was already convinced that Cragen's statement was true, but hearing them spoken by someone else... I had heard those words many times over the course of the years, but they had never been directed at me. They were always said to another broken hearted man or woman, someone who was just a name associated to a dead body. But now, I truly knew that they were never just names. They were people, whole identities that were lying broken and bleeding from the blows to their loved one. People who were hurting and trying to move on, while at the same time holding on with all their might to the past and what once was.

To what was left of their loved one.

And now I was one of those people, one in that endless line of people. "Am I gonna get a protection detail or something?"

"Department's gotta protect it's own, and that includes you. A uniformed officer will be posted outside your apartment and will follow you wherever you go; store, work, Ben's school. Security will also be increased at Ben's school and he will be released to no one but you. Now, John, I don't wanna hear you complain about this."

"I wasn't planning on it," I said. "In fact, I think I'll enjoy it if it means Ben will be safe."

He nodded.

"Anything else?" I asked after a moment. He seemed as if he wanted to say more.

"How're you doin'?"

"Good, considering. Now that Ben's talking, makes things a hell of a lot easier. No more guessing at what he wants."

"That's good."

"I was thinking about coming back to work once Ben starts school."

"As long as you're ready. I'll try and let you work around Ben's schedule, if it helps."

"I don't think it'll need much changing, as long as I don't have to pull too many all nighters; I don't have anyone to watch him and I don't want him hangin' around the office. And if someone is out to get me, I don't want to put anyone else in danger, no matter who the hell is guarding my door."

He nodded. "Fair enough. We'll talk more about it when you get back. And I'm sure Fin'll be glad to have you back."

I smiled. "The way he tells it, Kearney is worse than I am, in all ways possible." After a moment, "Thanks, Don."

He nodded again and I took that as a dismissal and stood, leaving him to whatever he did in that office of his. Fin had Ben on his lap, looking at pictures of ex-cons on his computer. "Any luck?"

Fin looked up, along with Ben. Fin shook his head. "Still lookin'."

"How many more do I have to look at, Uncle John?" Ben queried, sounding tired. He was still waking up every night at least once.

"Well, you know that if you see the man we can find him and punish him, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm tired."

I looked at Fin. "You know what, we'll do some later. Why don't you take a break?" Fin answered for me.

Ben hopped off Fin's lap. "Go up to the crib. I'll be up in a minute," I told him. He trudged off, his feet dragging. "Nothing at all, huh?"

He shook his head. "I lost count of all the ugly mugs we looked at. We sent the sketch down to Baltimore; they're checking it against their files. Gonna be a couple days probably."

"They got their own cases to worry about. You know, I don't even know if anyone I know still works in the unit. Been outta touch for so long it's probably all rookies." I shook my head. "Now see, if someone down there remembers me, we might have a snowball's chance in hell of getting something by tomorrow."

Fin shrugged. "That's just how it is, man. You move away, lose touch with the old crowd, next thing you know, everyone's a stranger. Don't sweat it. We'll get him."

I snorted. "One thing I learned on this job is to never promise something you can't deliver." Turning, I went up to the crib, finding Ben laying on one of the beds, nearly asleep. "Hey, kiddo."

"Uncle John, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Uncle John," he said, annoyed. I smiled and he asked, "Why'd that man kill mom and dad?"

I had been waiting for him to ask me that since it had happened. Even when he wasn't talking, I was expecting it. And, even with four weeks' preparation, I still didn't know how to answer him. "Sometimes, people don't like other people, whether it be because of their skin color, their nationality, the kind of people they hang out with or just because of something that person did that upset them. There's not always a clear reason for why people hurt each other."

"But what did they do that the man didn't like?"

I looked at him, hard. "Elliot and Olivia... they think that someone may want to hurt me, so they went after my brother, because they thought it would hurt me."

His eyebrows scrunched together and he looked down, obviously trying to comprehend the information I had just given him. Looking up, he asked, "But why would someone want to hurt you? You're a cop."

"Exactly. I've arrested lots of people, both those who were guilty and those who were innocent. And most of the guilty people have gone to jail, but some innocent people have gone, too, even though I didn't think they were innocent when I arrested them. See, sometimes, the evidence we have points to the wrong person and there's no specific evidence saying that it can't be them. So we arrest them and then we prosecute them and if we win, if a jury finds them guilty, they go to jail. When they get out, they might want revenge on the people who sent them to jail, so they might try to hurt them. Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"You good now?"

He nodded again.

"Good, now, get some sleep. I'll be downstairs if you need me." He knew what I meant by this and laid down again. I smiled and got up after ruffling his hair once. Going back downstairs, I could hear Benson and Stabler arguing over something. When they saw me though, they stopped.

"Hey, John. How's Ben doing?" Olivia asked.

"He's up in the crib, taking a nap."

"Still not sleeping well?"

I shook my head. "No, and neither have I. I should be in the bed next to his."

"Whay aren't you?" Elliot asked.

I shrugged. "I can go longer without sleep than he can."

"You don't have to work, go ahead," Olivia pushed

I shook my head again, collapsing in my desk, which, for the time being, was Kearney's. "Where is he anyway?"

Fin looked up from a paper he was reading. "Kearney? Who cares?"

"I heard that." Kearney walked in then, throwing a file down on his, my, desk. "Outta my seat, Munch."

"Hey, respect your elders." I wagged a finger at him.

"Respect my space."

"This is only your desk temporarily. In case you haven't noticed, it's still my name plate there, still my pictures and still my stuff. And if I find even one paperclip missing, you are going to pay, my friend."

"But you're not back on duty yet, so out." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

"Why don't you go take a walk, Kearney?" Fin interjected. "Bother someone else."

"And what if I don't? What are you gonna do about it?"

Fin glared at him. "None of us are scared of you, no matter how much you want us to be. And none of us respect you. You want our respect, being rude isn't going to help your case. Now, take a walk, or shut the hell up."

I clapped, smiling. "Bravo, bravo." Looking up, I saw Kearney lose his smug smile and turn sour. I could have sworn that I heard him mutter, "Damn Narc," but it might have just been my imagination. I leaned back as all four of us watched him stalk out.

"So when are you coming back?" Elliot asked.

"Next week, once Ben starts school."

"Thank God," Fin said. "Be glad to be rid of that damn egotistical maniac. Even if I have to hear you rant about black helicopters."

"It's good to be loved," I remarked.

Fin looked up. "That ain't love, partner. That's respecting my elders."

"That hurts." I put my hand on my chest. "That really cuts deep."

"Detective Munch, your nephew wants you," a uniform shouted from the stairs. The smile that had been on my face disappeared as I stood and went back upstairs. I found Ben sitting up in the bed, hugging his knees.

"Hey, kiddo. It's all right. It's over." I sat down next to him and rubbed his back.

"It's never gonna be over, is it?"