Disclaimer: I most definitely do not own anything from The Mediator

Regrets

Chapter two

I was starting to find it hard to keep Suze out of my head. The way she had ignored me was hard to forget about. It had hurt me so much. I know that Suze was hardly going to throw herself at me after what I'd done but if she had yelled at me then it would at least looked like she was becoming more like her old self. Because if there's one thing I know for certain it's that Suze isn't the same. Jesse leaving had changed her. And I didn't like it; I wanted the old Suze back.

So as I was doing my homework one night and the image of her face as she had ignored me came into my mind I decided that I wasn't going to let Suze live like this. I was going to help her get over Jesse. By getting her to like me instead.

Ok, so you may, at this point, be remembering the hundreds of other times I'd said this to my self –one of them being what got me into this mess in the first place- and be thinking 'yeah right like that's ever going to work'. But this time I was going to go about it differently. I'd leaned my lesson about kissing her and hoping for the best (I've noticed that Suze never really appreciated this). Instead I was going to win her affections by acting like a decent human being. She'd see that I'd changed and wouldn't be able to resist me.

There was one flaw to my plan though. To do this I'd have to spend time with her, something that was much, much easier said than done.

My first attempt was, I'll admit, pretty crappy. I just went over to where she was sitting at lunch and sat down next to her. Not one of my better ideas but then, what did I have to lose? This time Suze did look at me; she seemed pretty shocked that I'd had the nerve to join her and her friends. And she wasn't the only one.

"Er, what are you doing?" Cee Cee asked. I don't know how much Cee Cee knew about what was going on between Suze and me but it was pretty obvious that she (Suze) wasn't on the best of terms with me.

I smiled. "Oh, I just thought I'd join you," I told her casually.

Suze glared at me and said, "I don't think so."

I looked at her. "Suze I-" I began, only before I could say anything more she just stood up and walked off.

Adam and Cee Cee exchanged worried glances then quickly stood up and followed their friend. I just stayed where I was sat wondering what on earth I was supposed to do next.

"Nice one," I heard someone laugh from behind me. I didn't turn around, I knew it was just April, a girl who I'd started talking to after the events at Brad Ackerman's hot tub party made everyone else think I was a freak. Dissing Kelly Prescott the way I had hadn't helped my popularity much either. Not that I was particularly bothered by it all though. I had bigger things to worry about than whether or not Princess Kelly and her dumb friends worshipped me. It was actually a relief to get away from them.

April, however, didn't really care what other people thought and after congratulating me on the way I handled Kelly she soon became a much more likeable companion. Not that we were all that close, she was just some one that I could talk to without having to worry about my IQ suffering.

I glared at her as she sat down opposite me. She knew about my situation with Suze –not the whole thing, just that I liked her and she hated me- but was not very supportive about it.

"So what was that about?" She asked.

"Nothing," I grumbled in reply.

"Dude," April said, shaking her head, "that was so not nothing. You know Suze isn't going to start liking you if you stalk her."

I rolled my eyes, frustrated. "I sat down next to her so I could attempt to make conversation, it was hardly stalking."

April just shrugged and started eating her fries.

She was right though; I was going about this the wrong way. The thing was, though, that I didn't know what else was I could do. With Suze ignoring me the way she was how was I going to get her to notice me at all?

"What did you do to her anyway?" April asked suddenly.

I didn't say anything. It's not as if I could tell her the truth anyway. I suppose I could have made something up but I didn't see the point.

"Geez, was it that bad?" April looked intrigued now. I could tell that she wasn't planning on giving up till she knew what I had done. Well, she was wasting her breath asking. I wasn't saying a word.

"Come on I wanna know now," She pleaded.

Annoyed, I got up and walked away from her. Either April didn't realise that I wasn't exactly enjoying her company right then or she just didn't care (I'm guessing the latter) because she quickly caught up with me as I made my way through the courtyard and said, "Ok, I understand that you don't want to talk about it and all, but you're acting really weird. It was like one day you were perfectly normal and then the next you come in like a totally different person. And I know it's something to do with Suze so maybe if you told me what's up I could help you."

We stepped into the breezeway and I stopped and shook my head. "You wouldn't understand."

April looked at me, trying to figure out whether or not she should just give in. I could see the concern in her eyes quite clearly. It was weird to think that somebody was actually worried about me. It didn't happen all that often. Sure, gramps was always trying to warn me about the 'dangers' of shifting, but that was different. April was actually bothered about my feelings. It was kind of strange that April, of all people cared about how I felt. No one else cared about me. Even the one person I cared about hated me. So as she looked at me I was pretty shocked, at least until she shrugged and went, "Well if you're sure," then she walked off.

I stared after her thinking perhaps I should have told her something. Nothing about Jesse and him being dead of course, just something, so I could see if she really could help me. I doubt there was anything she could do but it would make me feel better at least. I wondered briefly if I should call her back but in the end decided against it. Maybe I'd tell her some day, just not right then.

I didn't see April again that day and I soon forgot about what had happened with her. I had more important things to worry about anyway, like what I was gong to do about Suze.

By last period I wasn't sure if I'd ever figure out a way to get Suze to give me a chance. As I walked into the class I wondered if I should just give up for now. That was until I noticed that there were only two empty places in the classroom. And it just so happened that one was next to Kelly and the other was next to Suze.

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A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews they were really encouraging. When I posted the first chapter I wasn't really sure whether I was going to just leave it as a one shot or not but as some of you asked for me to continue here I am!

I don't know how often I'm going to be able to update seeing as I'm writing another story as well as this it might not be too often. I've also got exams coming up soon, only two, but seeing as the result is going towards my GCSEs I'll have to revise for them as well. Not fun.

Oh well. Here are some review replies:

Teen princess: Yay. Thanks! The human side of Paul eh? I like the sound of that. It sounds dead impressive.

UnangelicHalo: That's the third time you've figured out I'm English you know. Thanks for the review it was so great to read something like that after I was convinced this was a load of rubbish. Thank you!!!

SandraRose: Aw thanks! I'm glad you liked it. It was hard to explain Paul's feelings the way I wanted to so I'm pleased that even though I couldn't get it quite right someone liked it anyway.

DancinSweethart: Bleh, I can't do make up for my life so most of the time I just stay away from the stuff. Thanks so much for the review.

Caitlin: I know, that's my fave Franz Ferdinand song. I love listening to songs that go with stories. Thanks for the review!!!!

Flonshoe: I never knew you had Eastenders in Canada. It's boss isn't it? Although I wouldn't say it was the best show, that has to go to Kim Possible (I LOVE Ron). Anyway, thanks for the review.