(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 12 - Heaven Forbid
Buffy was day dreaming as she wandered through the graveyard, turning her stake over and over in her hands as she went, thinking mostly about William. She should be with him now at the Bronze, introducing him to her friends and having a good time. She hated to think of her guy being sick, but he really hadn't looked at all well before. She hoped he'd got home okay and was feeling better, though Buffy's mind wandered and a frown appeared on her face when she realised she didn't even know where William did live. He'd seen her house, walked her to her door twice in the past week and yet she had no idea whether he had a house or an apartment, whether he lived alone or with friends or anything. She hadn't met any of his friends either, he never really mentioned having any and Buffy was just starting to realise how weird that was. She was startled from her thoughts as she felt a presence behind her and jumped a little when a figure stepped out of the shadows.
"Angel" she sighed when she realised who it was.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he apologised.
"My mind was all kinda otherwhere" Buffy admitted as the walked together through the cemetery.
"Thinking about anything in particular?" he asked, guessing it would be something to do with Spike. She was a sixteen year old girl who fancied herself to be in love, what else would give her the dreamy look she'd had on her face as he'd watched her for the past half hour?
"Nothing important" she covered, not feeling entirely comfortable about talking to her former-crush about her current boyfriend, besides, she had more important things to be saying to the vampire with a soul, "So, you having a nice night?" she asked, casually as she could.
"It's okay so far" Angel nodded.
"You run into anybody else out here?" Buffy asked next, "Any old friends or... anyone really?"
"No" the vampire shook his head as they stopped walking near the cemetery gates. The Slayer frowned a little at that. She'd definitely seen him talking to a woman, and she couldn't understand why he would lie about it. Maybe he was up to something, maybe he wasn't the good guy he pretended to be, she thought. He was a vampire after all, soul or not, a demon still lived within him...
"Buffy" the sound of his voice saying her name, brought her out of her thoughts quickly, "I have something I need to tell you, and I don't think you're going to like it much" he said, trying not to smirk as he glanced over her shoulder and saw Spike hanging back in the shadows. Whether he'd tracked Buffy's scent or his own, Angel wasn't sure, but he did not look happy.
"Try me" Buffy urged him, hating the game playing, and very prepared to stake this guy if he came at her all of a sudden. He didn't flinch just looked the Slayer straight in the eye and said what he must.
"Buffy... it's about the guy you're dating" he said carefully, "I think... he might be a little old for you" he said instead of the truth about Spike, which was what he bleached blond had been expecting.
Buffy laughed.
"Too old for me?" she scoffed, "Says the two hundred and forty year old vampire who thought he should be my snuggle bunny last year?"
Spike seethed from his position hiding in the undergrowth and Angel bit his lip.
"You're right, it's none of my business" he sighed, "It's getting late, I can do a sweep of Weatherly Park on my way if you want to head home"
"Thanks" Buffy frowned slightly, wondering what was going on. Something was definitely up with Angel, but she didn't have time to worry about that now. He was right it was getting late, she was kinda tired and she was still worrying about William. She agreed to his plan and they went their separate ways. When she was out of sight, Spike stepped out from his hiding place and faced his grand-sire.
"You son of a bitch!" he yelled.
"Oh, yeah, cos I'm really the bad guy here, William" Angel snapped back, "I'm not the one seducing a sixteen year old girl just so he can use her and kill her"
"What's it to you, you git!" Spike asked angrily, "What, cos you didn't get in her pants, nobody's allowed to try?" he said with a smirk that was soon wiped off his face by the right hook Angel landed on him.
"I should dust you right now" the older vamp threatened as he pulled Spike up by his shirt.
"You couldn't if you wanted to, gramps" the bleached blond argued, pulling free from the strong grip Angel had on his clothes. He knew in reality he could probably die all too easily at his grand-sires hand, which made him wonder why Angel wasn't really trying to end him.
"Oh I could" Angel said, menacingly low, "but I am not going to be the one to explain to Buffy that she fell for another vampire"
"She never fell for you, you poof" Spike smirked, "If she did, she wouldn't be snogging me on a regular basis, she'd still be with you"
"She just prefers you cos she thinks you're human" Angel snapped back, "If she knew you were just a vicious animal, she'd stake you in a second"
"Oh you reckon do you?" Spike asked, trying to look all brave and uncaring. In truth he felt sick, he knew everything Angel was saying was true and he hated it.
"I know it" the brunette assured him, "but like I said, I'm not having her heart broken that way again, not unless it really has to be. There's a way that'll screw up her mind a little less, and that's the way you're gonna do it"
"Do what?" Spike frowned, "Not doing a soddin' thing that you tell me to, so forget it, Angelus" he said firmly. He turned to storm away but Angel's words halted his retreat.
"If you don't do what I tell you, I will tell her the truth" he called behind his grand-childe, looking all too serious as Spike glanced back at him, "And then I'll personally help her dust you"
"You're supposed to love her, but you'd do that to her, even when you just said it'd half kill her?" Spike checked, incredulously.
"I don't wanna do it" Angel shook his head, "but if you refuse to play it my way, let her down gently and leave town like you should, then yeah, I'll break her heart if I have to" he admitted, "Saving her life from an animal like you is more important"
Spike stood staring at his grand-sire for a long moment. He hated this, hated that his plans regarding the Slayer were getting more and more screwed up.
When he came to Sunnydale it was to kill the silly bint and use the Hellmouth to restore Drusilla. That'd all gone to the dogs when he realised Buffy wasn't going to be his third kill, but the first woman he'd truly fallen in love with. He felt things for her he couldn't begin to describe, and they were stronger in some ways than anything he'd ever felt for Dru.
So the plan had changed, turned on a dime from killing to kissing. It wasn't a great situation, and there were still times Spike thought he should just find the girl, snog her til she was dizzy and drain her dry before she had a chance to put up a fight. That was what he ought to do, what the plan had been before, but now he knew he was doomed. He loved her, was drowning in her, and there was no escape. All he'd had to do was keep their 'relationship' quiet, a secret from Dru and Angelus. It was impossible of course. Drusilla knew how it really was, though she sounded so simple and deranged, she saw things clearer than anybody, and knew Spike too well to doubt he was being unfaithful to their bed.
Angelus also knew the boy too well, and he still had his own interest in the Slayer. Now he had a way to get Spike out of the picture and Buffy back into his own arms, and he was taking the opportunity to do just that. Spike could leave, go now, save himself from a possible staking when Angel told Buffy the truth, but he couldn't just go, knowing he'd leave her heart broken. She felt as strongly for him as he did for her, he knew it and he didn't want to lose that. Seemed he was destined to either way as he considered Angel's ultimatum. He made his decision there and then, but said not a word, just turned and stormed out of the cemetery, long black duster swooshing out behind him as he cleared the gates.
"Make your decision fast, William!" Angel called behind him, "Or I'll make it for you" he said more quietly, before he too disappeared into the dark.
Spike felt ridiculously nervous as he stood in the front yard of 1630 Revello Drive. Up above him, Buffy was probably in her room, maybe in her bed asleep by now. He could imagine it, picture her in his mind, looking like a fallen angel, all beauty and innocence. Spike hated himself for being such an idiot, for falling so hard and fast for the young woman who should be his natural enemy, but he hated himself more when he thought of how he was going to have to hurt her right now.
Moving closer to the house, he easily climbed up the trellis that was fixed to the wall, hopping onto the low roof and sliding the slightly open window up til he could fit through. With cat like grace he hopped through, landing in her bedroom without making a sound. She stirred slightly but didn't wake as he watched over her.
"Why'd you do this to us, pet?" Spike sighed, reaching out hand to her hair but not quite touching her yet, "Why'd you make me fall for you like this?" he asked the sleeping girl, his fingers caressing her cheek and causing her to slowly wake from her light slumber.
"Mom?" she said groggily, not really aware of what was happening yet as her eyes flickered open.
"Not even close, luv" Spike smirked as he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.
"William?" her eyes went from closed to wide as plates in a second as she realised what was happening. William was in her room, on her bed, in the middle of the night, "Am I dreaming again?" she checked, sitting up and making a big deal of holding the covers to her chest as she did so, eyes flitting around the room.
"Dream about me often do you, Slayer?" he asked with a smirk as she blushed. Even in the dim light he saw it, but only because his eyes were attuned to the dark. As hers were not, Buffy flipped on the lamp by the bed.
"I... Why are you here?" she asked suddenly, "I mean, how did you even get in here?" she asked, a little worriedly. As much as she liked this guy, loved him even, he was getting a little stalkerish now and it bothered her. He could see she'd tensed up, noted the change in her scent, and he hated being reminded of the fact he had to hurt her now.
"I came in the window" he said as if it were perfectly normal, "I mean, come on Slayer, you tellin' me you never used that route to sneak past your Mum?" he asked with a tilt of his head and she sighed, knowing he was right, but also remembering how Angel had used her bedroom window to access her a few times at night.
"You could have used the front door" she told him, "My Mom is staying over at a friends tonight" she explained, "Although, I guess it is kinda romantic the whole window thing" she smiled shyly.
Spike so wanted to kiss her and gave in to the temptation as he reminded himself it might be his last chance to get this close. Her hands let go of the covers as her arms wound round his neck and pulled him closer, her soft warm body pressing against his own making him moan. God, he wanted her, and she wasn't pushing him away yet. Until she did, he didn't have the strength to be the one to back off.
Buffy knew this was wrong, she was only sixteen and she'd known William such a short time, and yet here he was in her bedroom kissing her like this, making her feel a hundred different things she couldn't even begin to describe. She loved him, she was pretty certain about that, and he'd said he loved her too. Would it be so wrong just to let this happen?
Spike's hands travelled further down her body, encountering bare flesh. As soon as his fingers touched her skin she yelped and pulled back a little.
"I'm sorry" she half-laughed at how over the top her reaction had been, "Your hand was cold" she told him and Spike felt sick. They couldn't do this, he couldn't let this happen between them when she still had no idea who he really was. If he didn't tell her the truth Angelus would and it'd break her more coming from someone else.
Knowing he couldn't control himself when he was so close to her, Spike disentangled himself from her arms and got up from the bed, walking over to the window and looking out. He ran a shaky hand back through his hair and tried to be calm, not an easy task after what had just been happening with him and Buffy.
"I'm sorry, I was just startled is all" she said from her place still in the bed, "You didn't have to stop..."
"Yes, I did" he told her, unable to look at her right now, "I had to Buffy, we can't..."
"I know" she sighed, "I know we shouldn't, and I know why"
Spike tensed at that comment. If she really knew what he was and she was still willing to kiss him like that there was some hope, but he couldn't believe it were true. As he'd expected, his one tiny hope was shattered when she continued to speak.
"I've never... and I guess you haven't either?" she said awkwardly, actually causing Spike to laugh.
"I'm sorry, pet, but that's not it at all" he shook his head as he finally manage to turn and look at her, immediately wishing he hadn't when he noticed her cute little embarrassed expression.
"Luv, it's not about that" he assured her, "For the record, I'm no beginner. Been there, done that, enough times over that the number would make your head spin" he admitted, "Not that it matters that you're... Buffy, this isn't about you" he told her and she looked away.
"Yeah, of course it's not" she said bitterly, "That's why you've been with all those other girls and you can't be with me, and I know I shouldn't even want you to, I hardly know you at all, but William... I know I love you. It's crazy, but it's true and..."
His lips on hers ended her sentence more abruptly than she'd meant too, but the kiss ended more quickly than she would've liked.
"Buffy" he said softly, his face still close to hers, foreheads touching, "You are the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing young woman, I have ever met" he promised her, "And that's what makes this so bloody difficult" he sighed, getting to his feet once again. He couldn't let her bewitch him anymore than she already had, couldn't let this mess get any bigger. The truth had to come out and it had to be now. Though a demon lie inside him, Spike felt like praying to anyone who might listen, that he and Buffy might come through all this and be together someday. He knew it was idiotic but it was what he wished for.
"William" she said behind him, "Is there something... Whatever it is you have to tell me I wish you just would, the waiting is driving me crazy here"
"'S a long time since I was afraid of anything" he said so quietly she almost couldn't hear, "but tellin' you this, knowing it could be the end for us, scares the hell out of me, Slayer"
"Whatever it is you have to say" she said as she got out of bed and moved to stand behind him, "It won't change the fact that I love you" she swore as they stood by her bedroom window in the moonlight. A scene flashed through her mind as she remembered standing here once before, kissing Angel, seconds before she found out what his secret was - he was a vampire. The poor girl never considered the same might be true of William, thought by now it probably should've done.
"I'd like to challenge your theory there, pet" Spike said as he allowed his demon visage to slip into place. The words wouldn't come, the only way to let her know the truth was to show her, "Please, don't hate me" he begged of her, knowing his chances were slim as he turned to face her. The moonlight caught the ridges on his forehead and shone off the fangs at his lips.
It was a full minute before Buffy could speak. Her hand covered her mouth as she backed up across the room til she hit the dresser.
"I'm sorry, luv" Spike said carefully, "I..."
"No" Buffy cut him off with her repetition of the negative word, "No, no, no, this isn't happening" she said more to herself than to him, "This is a... a trick, or a dream, yes, I'm having a nightmare, you're not real!" she cried, tears running down her face and frustrated anger and pain in her eyes.
"It's real, pet" Spike told her, "It's all true. I wish it wasn't but... I had to tell you"
"You bastard!" she screamed as he approached her, pushing him away as she spun and grabbed the stake from the her dresser drawer. She was battle-ready in a second and glaring at him with such anger, he was sure he'd be dust any second now.
"Buffy..." he began, pushing his demon face away, but she wouldn't hear it.
"No, William!" she protested, "My God, if that's even your name! I trusted you, I thought I loved you!" she cried, looking a little angry and a lot more upset, "You used me, probably came here to kill me... I can't believe I was so stupid" she cursed herself, crying a river as Spike took a step forward, "Don't think I won't use this!" she said, snapping back into a fighting stance as soon as he looked like he was going to move, "I don't want to" she admitted, "but I will"
Spike wasn't totally certain whether she meant it or not, but he wasn't about to risk being dust in the wind. Still, part of him wondered if it might not be preferable to knowing he'd caused his precious girl such terrible pain.
"I am sorry, luv" he said sincerely, turning to the window and climbing out.
A moment later he was gone and with a sound not dislike a wounded animal, Buffy sank to her knees, clutching her stake to her chest like a security blanket. She'd fallen for another vampire, and harder and faster for this one than she ever had for Angel. She hated William for being a monster, but more so for being the object of her affections, and she hated herself for loving him still.
To Be Continued...