Disclaimer: I do not own these peoples and the stories that were originally intended for them, I just like to mess with them.
P.S. Nor do I own the song "The Kill." That belongs to 30 seconds to Mars.
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do...
"The Kill" 30 Seconds to Mars
Break
It killed her, to watch them suffer.
Each one was slowly cracking underneath the pressure, subtle changes, things they wouldn't notice, the smallest inconsistencies passed off as flukes. Maybe they themselves didn't even know they were breaking, but she could see them, feel the dread that comes from knowing, that she too was changing without her consent.
Every death, all the memories, from this life and the previous ones pressed down upon each, confusing each swirling emotion, 'is it mine? Or is it hers?' she couldn't be sure anymore.
i.
The blue haired scout, Mercury (they were never thought of by name anymore) gave up her dreams that she once held so dear. Her grades, once so important, were slipping, but just barely. When questioned by her teachers or fellow scouts (therewere no friends in the end were there?) she gave us that smile; that smile that is so inexplicable her, slow and small, never quite reaching her eyes- that smile that's so sad it makes your heart break, that smile, and would pass it off as fatigue, that as soon as it was over she'd be alright.
Mercury, one who was once so kind and honest, was lying to herself.
Most nights, she was found in the control room alone, analyzing enemies and potential threats, any little thing that could harm their princess. She'd spend hours painstakingly going over every little detail, criticizing herself over every mistake made and storing the information away for next time (because there was always a next time.)
She'd never tell them what she was doing.
Because she was Obsessed.
She knew her future; she would spend her life protecting Serenity, as her former self spent it, as all the other scouts spent it. But she was going to prepare for it, to know what faced them, because they'd never know her quite like Mercury knew her, and she would give her life to save her friend. Because she was the first, and she would always be first.
So she cried quietly at nights knowing that nothing was ever going to be enough.
And Luna watched her break.
ii.
Mars withdrew.
Once she was so outspoken, but, when she regained her memory, another voice overtook hers. When Serena lost herself and Raye tried to show her error, her former's voice spoke in her head. 'She's the princess, do not try her, let her be.' And so Raye curbed her insults, unable to truly feel herself, only her.
Her responsibility weighed on her shoulders. She spent more and more time in front of the shrine's fire, praying to every god to protect their Serenity, to give her sight beyond sight to save her. Quietly though, in her heart of hearts she prayed just for this to stop - For fate to give up, and let her live…and love (because sailor scouts aren't allowed to love.) So she clung to Serena, whom she loved fiercely because Serena was all she could love.
Her grandfather worried.
His granddaughter was losing herself, and didn't seem to even try and stop it. She spent more time at the shrine lately, and while he loved her being there, she wasn't herself. Where as before coming to the shrine was almost a chore (home that it was,) now it seemed to be a sanctuary, where she ran to when everything was just too much. Even her crows Phobos and Deimos would hover worriedly around her. She would spend hours gazing out into the stars, both birds on beside her as she spoke quietly to them of things that she wouldn't tell him.
He would find her next to the shrine's fire, ashes on her face streaked by tears already dried, (Raye never cried) her face so much older then her years.
And He watched her become consumed.
iii.
Lita (she would never stand being called Jupiter, she was her own person and she would cling to her name) fought destiny's pull in the only way she knew how.
She rebelled. She became violent, and would instigate fights. She'd take hits just to taste the blood in her mouth because it made her feel alive. She was always in trouble when alone, so they tried to have someone with her at all times, and for awhile it worked.
Until she started fighting them. She began yelling at the other scouts, telling them to leave her alone! She was just fine she didn't need no damn babysitters. And when she was alone, she'd break. Vases filled with flowers once so properly taken care of would smash, their contents leaking on the floor, leaving a puddle. (she would clean it up later because Lita never left a mess.) She'd come to school with scratches on her arms, and snap at any person who inquired about them.
Because They didn't understand.
They didn't feel destiny's hand crushing them so hard that it hurt to breathe. They didn't watch as each person they loved succumb to the destiny that they didn't want. And she wasn't going to let Fate ruin her life; she was going to live how she wanted to. And she would scream at them for hours saying that they were losing themselves and that her friends shouldn't let fate control them! But, they would just smile at her like a child, and turn away, already puppets.
She was drenched when Serena opened the door that night. There was no quiet inquiries about her health, Serena just let her in, and took her to her bedroom and sit her down. There was momentary silence, charged with tension so thick Serena could almost taste it.
And then the dam burst.
Lita screamed at her, because it was all her damned fault! If she hadn't had come to them, they could have been, she could have been normal. Lita wished she'd never been born because then she'd have a life of her own. And why wasn't she saying anything? Serena was just watching her with those blue oceans, filled with so much caring, love…and still saying nothing. "Say something DAMMIT!"
And she struck out. All the rage, hatred, and fear she placed into that hit that slammed her best friend across the cheek, so full of emotion that it caused her friend to bleed.
And she still said nothing, merely taking Lita into her embrace and hugging her against her body. Lita didn't move. She was stilled for the moments in eternity where she was comforted. Tears leaked out of her eyes as she put her arms around her friend her only life line.
And Serena watched her fall.
iv.
In truth, Venus was the first to break.
For the longest time she was the princess, the destined savior of the world. Most would buckle under that kind of pressure but she relished it because she was someone important. She would get the attention and the love of a handsome prince.
But then she saw Serena and thought. She was Sailor Moon. A small shudder went through her system, a whisper of doubt…that this girl was the princess…that poor drab little Sailor V was merely a decoy for the Negaverse, that she could never be as important as that girl. She pushed her doubts to the back of her mind, with the confidence that she was the princess.
And then she remembered.
She was merely the protector of the princess, the leader of her ladies in waiting. Serenity stole her dreams. And yet Venus could not hate her. She could not hate her because she was Serena. The girl who she had come to care about in such a short time, who she'd always protect, until she died.
But still she was jealous.
Venus never got her prince, and every time she'd see Serena with the man who she thought she'd be with, a little more broke off. Artemis would worry about her, watch her out of the corner of his eye as she would daydream about the prince that was hers, where she was still the star player and Endymion would love her.
She began to live there, still there on the outside, still there when she was in costume (because they were really all just dolls weren't they?) but not there. Her world became better and evil was no problem. She sank slowly into her fantasy, walking around in a daze that Artemis tried so desperately to pull her out of. He tried so hard to make her Mina again, but in the end, all he could do was watch.
He could only watch as she destroyed herself.
v.
Serena watched as they fell to themselves and destiny because it was so damned hard. She was already a puppet, controlled by invisible strings. She wasn't even sure she loved him. If it was really her or just her previous self, because she had to try so hard to keep from calling him Endymion when he talked to her. She would cry at this fate that she was given.
Her heart bled as each of her friends became what they were before. She wanted to cry out 'Don't! NoNoNo! It wasn't supposed to be this way, You are not them!' but her throat stilled and she couldn't ever say it because she wasn't her. Every time her scouts (yes hers, because they were supposed to protect her) would call her Princess she felt dirty, like she needed a bath to scrub away that girl which wasn't her which she could never be.
She wanted to give up, to throw away that damn gem that made Serena her. Every time she used it she pushed all her being into it with just a little more and they can live again. And when she was almost there, in that warm dark state of nothing, she would hear them crying because she was all they had anymore.
And every time she'd come back, just a little slower, just for them.
Because in truth, they were all she had too.
So in the end she watched the worlds shatter.
Mercury Broke
Mars was consumed
Jupiter Fell
Venus destroyed herself
The Moon Became what she wasn't
And in the end they all lost.
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A/N: well o.O that was slightly depressing. it comes from listening to that song for...well...a really long time. I really don't know what brought it on...>.>; it was almost a character study...except it wasn't o.O. Italicized words are emphasized thoughts or such...you know thedrill. so please excuse the bad grammer bows humbly I was never very good at it anyway.
Remember to review! This one has very fragile self-esteem, and must be told about things if she is to improve, so critisism is always welcome.
Ta!