A/N : Hope you all like this new chapter :-)
(For disclaimer, etc.- see chapter 1)
Chapter 19 - To Love You
Buffy could barely see where she was going as tears streamed down her face, her feet pounding the pavement as she ran and ran. What had she done? She couldn't take it in. She'd come home from seeing Spike, climbed in through the bedroom window and there was Ted. He'd started threatening her, he'd read her diary and assured her he'd be showing the writings to Joyce if Buffy didn't fall into line and do as he said. Of course the Slayer had refused and that was when he'd hit her.
Any normal girl would've dropped to the floor and probably stayed there, face turning purple almost immediately, but not Buffy. She was different, she was the Slayer. She ought to have remembered how different the rules were for someone like her, but she was incensed. She'd hit back at Ted, twice, three times, kicked him through the door and across the landing. He'd made a grab at her, she'd pushed him away, he'd tripped and then... Buffy shook her head as she ran, trying to dislodge the image of the man rolling over and over as he'd plummeted down the staircase, landing at the bottom with a sickening crunch. Her mother had screamed as she ran and found her boyfriend, apparently unconscious. A moment later, when she realised she could neither rouse him or find a pulse, she declared that Buffy had killed him.
That was when the Slayer had started running. Back to her room, back out the window, moving as fast as her legs would take her, away from her home and towards someplace else, anywhere that wasn't her house, the place where she'd committed her heinous crime.
She was a murderess, she could go to jail. After all she had little or no defence. Yes, Ted hit her first but she couldn't prove that, she doubted very much that any hit he'd landed on her would leave any kind of mark, she was too resilient for that.
Crossing the street and running on, lungs burning and legs screaming with pain from being forced into a sprint so suddenly and for so long, she yelped when she hit an obstacle, and fought to disentangle herself from it.
"Buffy?" Angel frowned as he tried to stop her flailing limbs from inadvertently striking him, "Hey, what's the matter?" he asked her, looking worried. Buffy didn't notice, just attempted to bat his hands away as she screamed.
"Get off of me! Let me go!" she yelled, clearly very angry and upset.
"Not until you tell me what's going on" the vampire said firmly, "Does this have to do with Spike?" he asked and that seemed to cut through her hysteria and bring her back to reality somewhat. She pulled herself free from his grasp but stayed a couple of feet in front of him, not actually looking at the souled vamp as she wiped tears from her face with her hands.
"Spike is dead" she lied, not wanting to have to explain to Angel or anyone else why she'd saved the bleached blond, especially not right now with everything else going on.
"He may be dead" Angel said in a low voice, "But he's not dust, and you know it. I can smell him on you, Buffy" he said, looking both disappointed and a little angry.
If his unruly grandchild had not been defeated at the church last week he must at least be badly injured. A body, even a vampire's body, could only take so much before things broke, maybe even beyond repair. If Buffy had been with Spike it must be because she was caring for him, nursing him back to health, or the undead equivalent at least. The very idea of it made Angel's stomach turn over and made his demon want to come out and play Kick the Spike.
"I don't care what you know or what you think!" Buffy yelled, still somewhat hysterical, Angel realised, "You don't know me, you don't know anything about my life, so leave me alone!" she told him loudly, before turning to hurry away.
"If that's your attitude maybe I should just leave!" he called after her, causing her to turn back and stare at him, "The Hellmouth only needs so many heroes, Buffy. If you don't want me around..."
"If you want to go, then go" she interrupted, "Don't wait for me to tell you either way" she said simply before turning around and running off into the distance.
Spike felt a little ridiculous as he gingerly put his weight onto his feet and pulled himself to standing position by grabbing onto the crates that were a make-shift nightstand beside his make-shift bed. No sooner was he up than he fell back down to seated position on the edge of the less than comfortable surface he'd been lying on for days. Still it hadn't hurt too much to be upright he noted and so tried again. On the third attempt he remained standing and managed a couple of shaky steps as he reminded his muscles what they usually did. Walking felt a little foreign even though it was just over a week since he'd last been on his feet. Spike was comforted to find that at least the lower half of his body functioned. He had been a little scared that his legs may no longer work at all.
A little sound by the door, like a gasp of surprise caught his attention, and Spike swivelled around on his slightly steadier feet to see Buffy in the doorway with her hand over her mouth. Her eyes were watery and he knew he couldn't take all the credit for her tears. This was not the slight dampness of happiness on her face, she'd been crying for a while and had clearly been terribly distressed about something.
"Buffy, luv, what's happened to you?" he asked her with a frown and he was glad to have been standing by the bed as she came hurtling towards him and flew into his arms, knocking them both back onto the bed. Her face buried in his chest, she cried even harder as if she'd never stop and Spike hugged her close, feeling dreadful just because she was in pain.
"Ssh now, pet, it'll be alright" he told her, rubbing her back soothingly, not really knowing what he was talking about since he had no idea what her problem was, but just needing to bring her some comfort if he could. The last time she'd been in such a state was when he'd confessed to her that he was a vampire, and even then he wasn't sure she'd been quite this bad.
"I didn't mean to do it, William, I swear" she bawled into his T-shirt, soaking it with her tears, "I just got angry and I hit back and he fell and... oh my God, what have I done!" she wailed.
"Sure you didn't do anything, luv" he said, though of course he couldn't be certain. He didn't really believe she was capable of doing anything bad or wrong, she was as far opposite of evil as a person could be, and he should know given what he was. Buffy was a veritable saint, and not just because she was the Slayer either. He told her as much as he held her close and rocked her gently in his arms.
"You're like no other woman I ever met" he told her, "Stronger, and better, and more beautiful than any other, and I don't believe for a second that you did anything wrong" he said as she lifted her head up and looked at him through blood-shot eyes, "And even if you did, whatever awful thing you think you've done, Buffy, sweetheart, nothing's going to change the fact I love you"
The look on her face then was somewhere between shock, exhilaration, and pain. Much was the mixture of emotions that washed around inside her at that moment.
"You... you can't" she said shakily, though she wanted it to be true, despite what he was, despite how inappropriate and wrong it was, she longed for this to be real.
"Yes, I bloody can" Spike said firmly, almost angry at the implication, "Slayer, I love you" he repeated, taking her face in his hands, "I shouldn't, don't understand how I do really, but you've stolen my heart and in spite of everything you mean the bleedin' world to me"
"William, I..." her sentence stopped too soon after it had begun and wasn't given a chance to start again as laughter from the doorway interrupted the couples tender moment.
"Isn't that just so touching" said Ted with a bright smile, as fake as could be, "But y'know little lady, I don't think this young man is exactly the type of person your mother would want you socialising with"
Buffy's eyes were wide as the Grand Canyon as she stared at the man she was sure she'd killed.
"You, no, you were..." she gabbled incoherently as she stared at him approaching.
"Dead?" he filled in for her, "That's right, sweetheart, you killed me"
Spike frowned as he glanced between the man and Buffy, his nose picking up something wrong about this guy and his ears not registering another heartbeat despite the fact two humans were now present.
"No, she didn't" he said, pulling himself to his feet, "You didn't do him any harm, luv, couldn't possibly" he smirked as he looked Ted up and down, despite the fact he was actually talking to Buffy.
"This is between me and her, young man" Ted said smoothly, but Spike blocked his way.
"Guess again, Robocop!" the vampire declared, summoning all the energy he could find and punching Ted across the face. Whirs and clicks emitted from the man Buffy thought she had previously killed as his head turned around too far for a human and then came back into place.
"Argh, bugger!" Spike cursed as he fell back down to sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching his barely healed hand to him as it stung like he'd re-broken a few bones, "He's a soddin' robot, Buffy!" he told the Slayer, "You didn't kill him, you couldn't"
Relief and anger hit the young blonde at full force and at the same time as she leapt to her feet and hit out at the robot man. He took a small wooden crate to the head without too much trouble and a few kicks to the abdomen without even wincing, but when Buffy laid her hands on a steel bar and began pounding on Ted with that, his true nature was all too soon revealed. Circuitry and metal spewed out from his arm, his face, his back, until finally he hit system overload and fell to the ground. It was over.
"Well, that's somethin' I wouldn't want to have to explain to your mother" Spike sighed as he looked down at the mangled metal mess that had once been Joyce's boyfriend.
Buffy didn't answer, just walked back over to the bed and stood before Spike in silence. He was about to ask what she was doing when her hands went to his face and she crushed her lips to his in a passionate kiss that lasted as long as she could bear it til she had to breathe. By that time she was pretty much sitting in Spike's lap, his arms tight around her body and hers locked around his neck.
"I love you too" she declared breathlessly, forehead resting against his own, "I know it's wrong, I tried so hard not to, but I can't help it" she explained, "You lied to me, and I hate that, but I can't make myself believe you're this monster everybody says you are"
"Maybe you should, pet" Spike told her regretfully, though he was in all honesty thrilled to hear her words, "I'm no saint, not even soddin' close"
"Nobody is" she shook her head, "All I know for sure is that I love you, and I can't bear the thought of having you walk out of my life anytime soon. My Mom has the worst luck with guys" she sighed, glancing briefly at the robotic corpse across the room, "I hate that she's alone almost as much as she does. I don't want to end up like that"
"Then you won't" Spike promised her, claiming her lips with his. This was an insane situation but neither of them could find the strength to walk away from the other. Love wouldn't let them give up.
To Be Continued...