Yoshi and Raichu sat in the corner, merrily munching apple turnovers, Mr. Game & Watch constantly running back to the kitchen to replace the tray. They were the lucky ones; all they really had to do was wait around for the action to start. Meanwhile, Luigi sighed to himself as he examined the list of reserves as Young Link, Samus, and Kit looked on.
"Y'see, the thing is…" Luigi remarked.
"Arf! Arf!" Luigi looked down and saw Shigeru the Nintendog looking up at him, his tiny fangs tugging on Luigi's pant leg. Shigeru had become the Super Smash Brothers' unofficial mascot over the years.
"Not now, boy." Luigi replied, scratching the puppy behind the ears. "You go and play with Yoshi and Raichu, okay?" The puppy yapped in the affirmative and ran off. Luigi straightened his pant leg.
"As I was saying," he continued, "the trouble with this list is that it was made 20 years ago, and we never really bothered keeping it up-to-date – my fault, I know – and now I've already crossed off more than half the names already." He shook his head and sighed. "The guy at the top of the list… I'll talk to him. I… know him personally."
"He is a friend of yours?" Young Link asked.
"Well, let's just say that I know him personally." Luigi replied. "Now, I'm not sure about the characters in the Rare section. Since we're… not exactly on speaking terms with them anymore." He looked at the blue-furred fox. "Kit, do you know what happened to any of them?"
"Try me." Kit replied. "Dad hears from some of them from time to time."
"Okay…" Luigi murmured as he looked through the list. "Joanna Dark?"
"Last I heard she had radical plastic surgery and went underground." Kit replied. "We couldn't track her down if we tried."
"The Battletoads?" Luigi asked.
"Crashed into a stone wall on those bikes of theirs." Kit grimaced. "I don't blame them, really. That was almost impossible to…"
"Conker the Squirrel?" Luigi asked.
"Living in a hollowed-out oak tree shooting passers-by with a shotgun, and is currently on his eighth liver." Kit shrugged.
"Disgusting!" Young Link replied. "How could a woodland creature be corrupted so?"
"Jet Force Gemini?" Luigi asked.
"Oh, please." Kit snorted. "Those amateurs bit the big one years ago. They couldn't shoot straight to save their lives, and the smartest one on the team was the dog."
"Sabreman?" Luigi asked.
"He's like 110 years old now." Kit replied. "Last I heard he was trying to ride a dolphin…"
"The Killer Instinct crew?" Luigi asked.
"Uh… half of them live either a thousand years ago or a thousand years from now." Kit muttered. "Some of them are dead, and most of them are retired. Tusk married Maya and started his own letter column, and last I heard Spinal was eaten by puppies. And as for Fulgore…"
"Say no more." Luigi grimaced. "Hey, wait. There's a name written here in pencil. Who the heck is Mr. Pants?"
BOING! A horridly drawn fat man wearing nothing but a derby and a pair of large red skivvies sprang into the room. "Right, right. Salutations and all that puffery." He prattled. "Pants is the name, "Mister" is the formal title, and collecting surveys from all you sots is what I do. Other than snogging Mrs. Pie, what? Eh? Hm? Wink wink, nudge nudge and say no more, right?"
Everybody stared blankly.
"I'd utterly adore to stay and bend your ears for a tic, but sadly I have a previous engagement. So terribly sorry I can't join your lovely little troupe, but duty calls and all that. Pip pip, cheerio, and other such sayings." Mr. Pants declared as he ran out the door. "Nice moustache, ma'am." He added as he passed Luigi. "If I weren't spoken for, we'd definitely have a few go-arounds of la danse interdite together, what?"
Nobody said a word until Mr. Pants was out the door.
"That was… Mr. Pants." Kit said at last.
"Great Naryu." Young Link gaped.
"Let's… never speak about this again." Luigi shuddered.
Samus didn't even say anything. She just clenched an ironbound fist and glared at the door.
"Well… um…" Luigi stammered. "Other than that there's just two more names left on the list. And I think you know who they are."
"Do I ever." Kit replied. "Last I heard they were still around. I'll give them a call."
"Good." Luigi nodded. "I guess I'll make my call." He murmured, steeling himself. He and Kit pulled out their Game & Watch units and began keying in the access codes.
A heavy rain crashed down on Spiral Mountain that night, but it was all but unnoticed by the little group huddled inside the little hut at the mountain's foot. Despite the ghastly weather outside, the small assortment of bizarre creatures had much more on their minds.
"Okay. This theory is a good one." Sniffled the bespectacled mole as he idly scratched himself. "I know I've said this before, but this time I've really got it."
"All you're going to get is my beak up your worthless behind if you don't shut your gob and play your hand already!" snapped the red-crested breegull sitting across from him. She was perched inside the backpack of the third member of the poker game, a good-natured honey bear.
"Bottles, not 'Stop 'n Swop' again." The bear sighed, idly tapping the table with a large paw. "Does it even matter anymore?"
"Just hear me out, mate." Bottles insisted. "Okay. Think about this. There's a theme here. Work with me on this, okay? On your first adventure, there was this puzzle where you'd raise the eyes on a drawing of Gruntilda on the floor, right? And you had to solve the puzzle by smashing the eyes back down, right, Banjo?"
"Yeah, but…" Banjo replied.
"And after that, you ended up having to get a Jiggy by smashing out the eye of a statue of Gruntilda, right? See the connection?" Bottles continued. "And then you played a quiz show, and one of the prizes was a doll in Gruntilda's likeness… that was missing an eye! See how it all comes together?"
"I'll demonstrate how we smashed out those eyes on you if you don't get to the point!" Kazooie sneered.
"But then… in your second adventure, when the earthquake shook this place up, the statue of Gruntilda that forms the entrance to her lair lost an eye, right?" Bottles continued. "And then, when she was defeated at the end and you were all kicking her head around, her eye fell out! And that brings me to my main point… when she was summoning that massive spell to kill you, she ended up telling you that her last name was 'Winkybunion' for no apparent reason! You see?"
"Uh… she likes to wink because her eye keeps coming out?" Banjo guessed. "And she got a bunion because she keeps bending down to pick it up?"
"No!" Bottles replied. "Everything has something to do with spelling! She wouldn't tell you her last name if it weren't a clue! And obviously, all this eye-gouging nonsense is a clue to remove the eye, or rather the "I" from her name! So we just need to go to the sandcastle in Treasure Trove Cove, spell "GRUNTLDA WNKYBUNON", and we'll…"
"Ho ho ho!" Laughed the fourth at the table, the skull-visaged shaman Mumbo Jumbo. "That theory older than Mumbo's loincloth and has almost as bad smell! Now play before Mumbo transform silly mole into washing machine and make him wash!"
"Fine, fine." Bottles sighed. "I'm in already. I'm wasting my best conspiracy theories on you guys…"
"Eh, doesn't matter since we don't adventure anymore." Banjo murmured, reaching for a sip of Honeybrew, which he pulled out of a cup holder nailed to the table, which, upon closer examination, was a hideous witch skull.
"You'll be sorry, this I swear! Ugly bird and stupid b… GLK!" the skull screeched, interrupted when Banjo stuck his mug back in its mouth.
"And don't even start postulating on those two doubloons that Captain Blackeye gave us." Kazooie huffed. "Unless you want to start a career as a hairless mole." She ruffled her feathers. "You realize this is all your fault, Bonebrain." She spat at Mumbo. "If it weren't for you and your lousy 'secret pictures', we wouldn't have all this rubbish to deal with!"
"Hey, no blame Mumbo for being creative with PhotoShop one day." Mumbo shrugged.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"What's that?" Banjo asked.
"No look at Mumbo. He no make noise." Mumbo replied.
"Oh, wait a minute." Banjo muttered, rustling through his dresser. "I bet it's that… that square game thing that Mario fellow gave me all those years ago."
"That's funny. I thought that I sold that thing years ago for birdseed money." Kazooie mused. "Oh, wait. It was your Pipsy the Mouse y-fronts!"
"Kazooie!" Banjo scolded the cackling bird as he finally fished out the device and turned it on. "Guh-huh?" he asked as Kit McCloud's face appeared on the screen.
"Hi, Banjo!" Kit replied. "You remember me? Fox's kid?"
"Hmf." Kazooie snorted. "Looks like that pansy McCloud had a few drops of testosterone in him after all."
"Kazooie!" Banjo scolded. "So, uh, what's up, Kit?"
"Quite a bit, actually." Kit replied. "You remember the Super Smash Brothers?"
"I remember that we outsold them!" Kazooie screeched.
"Uh, just ignore her." Banjo sighed. "Yeah, I remember the Smash Brothers from way back. Why are they calling us now?"
"Well… there's this big nasty beast named Giga Bowser, and he wants a battle with the Smash Brothers, and since some of the original Smashers aren't with us anymore, we were wondering if you could join us."
"Hm." Banjo stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, ten years ago I'd have jumped at the chance. But now, well… I'm just gettin' too old for all this runnin' around."
"You're getting too old?" Kazooie squawked, pecking Banjo across the head. "Don't act like it's your decision, Beehive Breath! I was the one who had to vomit up eggs, run up sheer walls, and somehow fly while carrying your lead-heavy bottom around! All you did was act as transportation, you twit! They only mentioned you first in the title because they did it alphabetically! And before you say anything, I'm not 'too old', either! I'm comfortably retired!"
"Uh… yeah. What she said." Banjo sighed, rubbing his head. "And besides, we…"
Suddenly an odd little creature hopped onto the table, scattering cards and chips everywhere. Its head was that of a bear, and its body was that of a breegull.
"Junior! Get off the table!" Banjo scolded.
"Don't make me cuff you again!" Kazooie warned.
"Guh-bree!" the bear-gull hooted as it fluttered off the table.
Kit stared agape. "I think that's even more wrong than Mr. Pants." He muttered.
"So, uh… thanks but no thanks, I guess." Banjo concluded.
"Understood." Kit nodded. "Talk to you guys later."
"Say hi to your Dad for me!" Banjo said.
"And tell him to get a paternity test!" Kazooie jeered, finally getting a swat across the head from Banjo as Kit's face vanished from the device.
"That's abuse, you know, Banjo!" Kazooie warbled, rubbing her head. "I ought to have you sacked for that!"
"Yeah, yeah. I've heard that song before." Banjo muttered, sitting back down in his chair.
"Okay, Banjo. One more question." Bottles piped up.
"Okay, Bottles." Banjo sighed. "What's the question?"
"Whatever happened to Tooty?" Bottles asked.
"Who?" Banjo replied.
"You know, your sister?" Bottles insisted. "The one you spent all that time in Gruntilda's lair rescuing? The reason you went on your first adventure in the first place, nearly 25 years ago?"
"Oh, right! Her!" Banjo replied. "Uh… gee, what did happen to her, anyway?"
A crash, and suddenly a large green ogre in a lab coat stormed in the door.
"Oh, hi, Klungo." Banjo replied.
"Erm… Klungo hassss ssssomething to ssssay to friend bear…" Klungo stammered, sheepishly. "Err… bear'ssss toilet wassss already broken when Klungo got there… Klungo sssswearssss it…"
"Fer cryin' out loud!" Banjo moaned. "We finally get a bathroom and the toilet's already broken!"
"Hmm. Poor Loggo." Mumbo muttered. "He was fine commode. Mumbo mourn his death very much sad."
"You'd better mourn him." Kazooie spat. "He had more fans than you ever had!"
"Kazooie!" Banjo scolded.
Meanwhile, Luigi made his call to an old rival. He sighed. This was not going to be much fun.
The screen flickered a minute, and suddenly text appeared. "PLEASE STAND BY AS YOUR CALL IS REDIRECTED" read the message as pleasant music played in the background. Suddenly the music ceased and Luigi found himself looking into the face of a pretty young secretary.
"Wario Ware Mega Microgames Unlimited! We make games for you to give us money for!" She crooned in a merry tone. "Are you the party to whom I am currently speaking?"
"Uh… I guess so." Luigi stuttered.
"What is the purpose of your call, plee-uz?" the secretary asked.
"I'd like to speak to Mr. Wario, please." Luigi replied.
"You may have to wait, sir. Mr. Wario is very busy, as you can hear." The secretary replied. In the background, Wario's voice could be heard. "Buy! Buy! Buy!" his rough bass voice thundered in his thick Italian accent.
"Is he speaking to his stockbroker?" Luigi asked.
"No, he's ordering his lunch." The secretary replied. "Oh! Mr. Wario will speak to you now! Hold the line, plee-uz!"
"Uh... thanks." Luigi replied as the secretary's face vanished.
High in his opulent office building (you'd recognize it – it's the one with the huge "WW" crest on top), the President and CEO of Wario Ware Mega Microgames Unlimited sat in his Corinthian leather chair, his corpulent form barely constrained in a fancy suit. Wiping the fried chicken grease off of his hands – by using it to smooth his toupee – he reached down and turned on the viewscreen. "Whaddya want?" he barked, as was his traditional greeting.
"Hi, Wario." Luigi greeted his old rival. "It's me… Luigi."
"Luigi!" Wario boomed. "Luigi, boy! Howza me boy! Here… have a cigar!" he grinned, holding a cigar up to the screen before realizing that he had no way of handing it to Luigi. "Oh, well. More-a for me! Bwahahahahahah!" he cackled, chomping the cigar himself.
"You've got a pretty nice set-up here." Luigi was genuinely impressed. "How'd you do it?"
"Eh, what can I say, me boy?" Wario gestured grandiosely. "It'sa all business! You make-a the game, you sell-a the game, you use the money to make-a more games… sell more… make more… and next you know, you're on the 300th floor chomping on a Havana! Bwahahahahahahah!" he roared with laughter. "With this, I make-a a hundred times more than I did running around with a bull hat looking for treasure chests! Screw-a that! From now on, I only get my hands dirty from caviar and champagne! Bwahahahahah!" he turned and spat a glob of something black into a nearby spittoon. "But enough about how great I am. Whaddya call me for? I'm-a very busy man, you know. I swear I'm-a gonna go blind counting my billions!"
"Uh… the Super Smash Brothers are looking for help fighting Giga Bowser a bit under two weeks from now." Luigi replied. "Can you make it?"
"Luigi!" Wario cackled. "Luigi, Luigi, Luigi! Let-a me explain somethin' to ya! I don't-a do the fighting thing anymore! I'm a businessman! If I want to beat-a somebody up, I just pay somebody to do it! I haven't-a knocked out a single tooth with my own fist in 10 years! Bwahahahahah!"
"I see." Luigi said. "Well, I won't bother you if you don't…"
"Hey! One-a more thing." Wario interrupted. "How are you holding up after what happened to your brother?"
"Well, it's been hard, but we've all learned to adjust." Luigi replied. "He's been gone for fifteen years and… wait a minute. Why do you care about Mario?"
"Hey, come on!" Wario replied, blotting out his cigar in a stack of papers. "Good ol' Wario always cares about the little-a people! Your brother, he was a very good friend of-a Wario when we were boys! It wasn't his-a fault everybody loved him for no reason! I was very sad when I heard-a what happened. I took down the dartboard with his face on it… I even had onions for dinner just so I could say that I cried!" Wario almost seemed sentimental. "Besides, Mario made Wario what he is today, you know?"
"What do you mean?" Luigi asked.
"Well, Wario looks at Mario, who everybody loves for no reason. And Wario says to himself, 'I'm a gonna be better than that Mario!'. And how do you get people to love-a you? Money, Luigi! Money, money, money! So Wario, he gets-a alla the money in-a the world, and now everybody loves-a him! And Wario didn't even have to be a goody-two-shoes like Mario either! He's-a just lovable old Wario!" he paused to manually remove something from his nostrils and throw it over his shoulder.
"Well… thanks, anyway, Wario." Luigi found himself smiling. "Good luck with your business."
"Hey, Luigi! Haven't you always been a brother to me?" Wario asked. "Not a brother I'd ever lend money too, of course, but I don't lend money to anybody! Bwahahahahah! You give-a that Giga Bowser the fight of his life, you hear?"
"Okay." Luigi smiled.
"Heck, I'm feeling generous today! I'm having my secretary send you our latest software package!" Wario boomed. "You'll love-a it, I guarantee you!"
"Well, thanks!" Luigi replied.
"You can mail me a cheque for $169.99! Bwahahahahah!" Wario laughed. Luigi's face fell and he switched off.
Wario took another sip of champagne, belching elegantly. Luigi was a good kid, he really was. There were far more annoying people he could think to name…
"Hey! Wario!" a spindly character in purple and black snivelled as he burst through the door. "I gotta business preposition for-a ya!"
"For the third time-a this week, get outta my office!" Wario yelled.
"Aw, gimme a chance, Wario!" Waluigi replied. "My latest invention willa make you look like a pauper the way you are now! Now… everybody needs a spring-loaded bedpan, am I right?"
Wario pressed a buzzer on his desk. "Dribble!" he shouted.
"Yeah, boss?" the hulking dog asked, lumbering into the room, decked out in pinstripes.
"Deal with-a this pest." Wario dismissed.
Waluigi spun around. "Hey there, big fella! You could use a good bedpan…"
CRASH! Dribble gingerly tossed Waluigi out the nearest window, sending him plummeting all 300 stories to the ground below.
"ARGGGH! For the last-a time, Dribble!" Wario snarled. "That is not how we get rid of pests at Wario Ware!"
"What'd I do wrong this time?" Dribble asked.
"You OPEN the window BEFORE you throw the guy out of it!" Wario snapped, picking up a piece of glass. "This pane is coming outta your salary! Don't you realize how expensive it is to have all the window glass made out of…" he took a bite out of the glass – "Garlic salt?"
Waluigi crashed to the sidewalk far below. "Stupido fat cat." He snarled, dusting himself off.
"Things are tough all over, brother." Remarked a ratty and unshaven Jimmy T, sitting on the sidewalk as he was with a cup and a sign that read "WILL SHAKE BOOTY/GROOVE THANG FOR FOOD". "Hey, babe!" he remarked to a passing woman. "I've got some games in the back alley if you're interested!"
"Pervert!" she shrieked, clubbing him across the face with her pocketbag.
"Why does everybody freak out when I say that?" Jimmy asked himself.
"No dice." Luigi sighed, turning off his Game & Watch. "Any luck, Kit?"
"Nope, sorry." Kit replied.
"Okay." Luigi declared. "I guess that's it from our reserve list. We can start contacting the existing Smash Brothers now." He looked around. "I'll be back soon."
"Where are you going?" Samus asked.
"Oh, I won't be long. I need to speak to somebody in… the basement." Luigi dismissed as he exited the room.
"The basement?" Young Link mused. "Who would…"
Tictictictictictictictic.
"Oh, hello, Sir Game & Watch. What is…" Young Link asked.
Mr. Game & Watch said nothing, only handing them a small plastic device and scurrying off again.
"What strange mechanism is this?" Young Link asked, examining it closely.
"Looks like a Nintendo 64 Disk Drive." Samus mused. "What good is this?"
Suddenly the Disk Drive began to shake. A brilliant beam of light shot forth. Tribal chanting filled the air.
Kyojin no Doshin -- Kaihou Sensen Chibikko Chikko Daishuugou!
Young Link and Samus blinked as the light level in the room returned to normal. They suddenly reared back when they found themselves staring face-to-knee with a 20-foot-tall yellow giant. The giant looked down on them with a cheery smile.
"What is that?" Samus demanded.
"It appears to be some sort of legendary gargantuan…" Young Link gasped as the jaundiced colossus grinned down at them.
The giant approached them, his enormous footsteps echoing as he walked.
DOH! SHIN!
Samus was debating whether or not to open fire, when the giant bent over and expressed his friendliness in a way that only he could.
When it was over, the two Smashers looked at each other awkwardly. "Link, please tell me that this thing didn't just urinate pink hearts in our direction." Samus muttered.
"I… believe it was intended as a gesture of friendship." Young Link replied, somewhat overwhelmed.
The friendly giant then gently bent down and placed a flower in Samus' hand. "Oh. Uh… thanks." Samus grumbled.
"Well, it seems that we have a powerful new ally." Young Link shrugged. "Welcome to the Super Smash Brothers, friend."
"Fine." Samus snapped. "We could use a big guy on our side. But if that thing pees one more heart at me, I swear he'll be eating plasmic thermite for breakfast."
The giant grinned even wider, bent over, and scooped up his two new friends in a loving bear hug.
"Er… mind my ribs, large one." Young Link grunted.
"I think I'm going to be ill." Samus grumbled.
Luigi felt a chill as he entered the basement. Once this place was a containment area for troublemakers, but since most of the villains ended up purged, most of the cells had been empty for the longest time. Now, only one prisoner remained, and had somehow survived Giga Bowser's assault on the complex. Despite the fact that it was almost unanimous that this prisoner was insane, they were loath to allow him to walk free. But these were desperate times, and Luigi knew in his heart that they needed his aid.
He squinted in the dark. After the attack, there was no electricity down here, and what little light remained only allowed for a very limited view of the room. Making his way towards the cell, he entered his access code and opened the door. Peering in, all he saw were two round, spiralled eyes staring back at him from a dark corner. "Hello?" Luigi tentatively asked.
"Helloooo!" a singsong voice replied. "Who did I just say hello to? I said hello to someone who is not me! That is the first time that has happened since the last time it happened, which was time ago!"
Luigi grimaced. This guy hadn't changed at all.
"Who is it that enters my room like the smell of chicken enters my nose at the big barbecue of life?" the prisoner asked.
"Well, uh… it's like this." Luigi said. "We'll be willing to set you free if you help us fight Giga Bowser. We need the edge that your weapons and inventions can give us. What do you say?"
"What do I say?" the prisoner replied. "I say I will tell you what I say. And what I say I tell you what I say is this… I say YES!"
"Ah, good!" Luigi replied. "Come with me. I have somebody I'd like you to meet…"
"And now I help you so I can be free." The prisoner interrupted, slowly getting up and approaching Luigi. "I want to be free, like the hamster who cannot find his way out of his plastic ball of life. But more than that, I want to crush Giga Bowser like a paper clip that is stepped on! I want to stop him because he kills people, as though he is a stomach and they are tasty roast beef sandwiches! Well, I shall be the avenging antacid of vengeance! I will throw myself in the glass of water of helping you, and my righteous gas bubbles will make him belch in horror!"
He now was in Luigi's face, grinning like a madman.
"I HAVE FURY!"
Now alone in the break room, Kit sat in a chair, looked to see if anybody was watching, and then punched in the code on his Game & Watch unit to open communications with Fox.
A galaxy away, aboard the Great Fox, two old friends sat in the lounge, drinking a pint of Cornerian ale and celebrating another successful peace summit.
Fox McCloud sat back in the comfortable leather chair as he listened to another of his comrade's reminisces. Falco Lombardi, said companion, had one leg slung casually over the chair's arm as he spoke.
"And by then there's lasers coming at me from all directions… up, down, backwards… everywhere. So you know what I do?" he asked.
"You called me to save your pinfeathers as usual?" Fox replied as he took another sip.
"Very funny, Fox." Falco huffed. "Nah, I just cut my g-diffuser and gunned it straight down! The guy below me never knew what hit him 'cuz he thought he was out of my firing range. The rest of the punks either shot each other by mistake or smashed into the ground when they tried to follow me! Yeah, that sweet little manoeuvre got me out of a jam that day, I'll tell ya. I call it "the Swooping Falcon"."
"I call it "the Lame Bird"." Fox quipped.
"Hey! Don't forget who pulled your tail outta the wringer on Zoness, fur-face." Falco grumbled. "Among other times. Don't think I'm not keeping a tally of who owes who, you know."
"I'd forget about it if I were you." Fox replied with a smile. "When you travel as a team as much as we did back in the day, everybody ends up owing everybody so much you just have to take it as a given. Besides…" he added, wryly, "you didn't have to babysit Slippy most of the time."
Falco chuckled despite himself. "Those were the times I wasn't jealous about you being the leader." He began to speak in a squeaky voice. "Oh, save me, Fox! There is one fighter behind me and I can't avoid it by flying in a straight line! Help!"
"Emergency, Fox!" Fox added in his own squeaky voice. "My shoelaces are untied!" Both Fox and Falco burst into fits of laughter.
When the laughing subsided, Falco's eyes suddenly lit up. "And you remember what old Peppy would say in times like that?"
"How could I forget?" Fox smiled. He turned his eyes towards the ceiling. "Nothing personal, Peppy. You were my second father for most of my life and we all love you, but…" he began to snicker.
"Keep yer eyes sharp, ace! Three bogeys at six o'clock!" Falco rasped in a passable imitation of Peppy's voice and accent. "Hit the Z button!"
"What the heck did he mean by the 'Z button' anyway?" Fox asked.
"You got me." Falco snorted.
"This reminds me of the time me and your dad almost got crushed by giant rocks!" Fox burst out in his own imitation. Falco nearly choked on his drink.
"DO A BARREL ROLL!" Falco yelled. He and Fox burst into howls of shared laughter.
Finally they calmed down. Falco sat up and smiled thoughtfully. "Things sure were different during the war, weren't they?" he mused.
"It was like another lifetime." Fox replied.
"And don't get me wrong, I'm glad that the galaxy is living in peace and all, but… I really miss those days." Falco remarked conspiratorially. "Back then there was never a dull moment."
"Yeah…" Fox murmured. Taking the bottle, he topped up his glass and Falco's. "To old friends since departed." He toasted, clinking the glasses together.
"I'll drink to that." Falco nodded, taking a sip. "We have a lot of those, that's for sure…"
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Falco's reflexes kicked in and he jumped, spilling his glass all over his jacket. "Argh! I just had this thing washed!" he fumed, grabbing a cloth and wiping himself off. "What's that, anyway?"
Fox pulled his Game & Watch unit off of his belt. "Hey! It must be news from Kit! Now we'll find out what happened back at Smash Central. All Krystal told me was that it was some kind of emergency."
"Smash Central. There's another place we haven't seen any action at for a long time." Falco commented, peering over Fox's shoulder at the screen.
Kit's face appeared on the tiny screen. "Hi, Dad! Hi, Uncle Falco!" he greeted.
"Hey, Kitster!" Falco replied.
"Hi, son. Any news?" Fox asked.
"Quite a lot." The younger fox replied. "Giga Bowser came back two days ago, and he basically toasted the Avenging Smash Squad without any trouble, and then left us a message saying he wants to fight the REAL Super Smash Brothers. If we're not waiting for him when he returns in 12 days, he'll start killing innocent people."
"Giga Bowser killed those shills?" Falco asked. "I guess he's good for something."
"Falco!" Fox scolded. "Okay, son. Do they want us?"
"Do they ever." Kit replied. "I can tell they're pretty desperate. We got pretty much nowhere on the reserve Smashers list, and now we're contacting all of the original Smashers and their surviving friends and relatives. Since you guys are neither dead nor in charge of a kingdom, they'd really, really appreciate it if you could come."
"Count the bird in!" Falco replied. "I've been just itching to kick some Giga Bowser butt!"
Fox turned to a small communicator on his wrist. "ROB, how long until we reach Corneria?"
"Arrival time estimated at 07:00 hours." A mechanical voice droned in response.
"Great." Fox replied. "We'll tell Slippy to fuel up the Arwings and we can warp to Smash Central from there. We should arrive by tomorrow morning."
"Oh, good. Luigi will be glad to hear that." Kit nodded. "Uhh… Dad?" he added, looking around.
"Yeah, Kit?" Fox replied.
"Exactly what's the deal with Samus Aran?" Kit asked, lowering his voice. "Has she always been this bitter and mean? She barely even says two words to me about anything."
"I guess the kid never was told." Falco remarked.
"Nope." Fox replied. "Well, son, she always wasn't like that. She was always very serious, but she only started being like that since the incident last year. That was when a friend of hers died. That was also what broke up the Super Smash Brothers for the last year."
"What happened, exactly?" Kit asked.
Fox sighed. "Here's the story as far as I heard it…"