Author's note: Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a wonderful one! Here's the next chapter up, and I think the following will be up before New Year's Eve, or shortly thereafter. Uhm, I don't think I have much to say about it… It focuses mainly on the younger generation, which I hope is okay. I felt I wanted to build up Faramir and Goldilocks' relationship properly since this story gives me the opportunity to do so over a few years. Anyhoo enjoy!
Disclaimer: Same as always…
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"Here's to a wonderful spring following a long and cold winter!" Pippin said and placed four tankards of ale in front of the four young lads seated at the table. "Drink up, dance through the night and get up early to do your farming the day after tomorrow!"
Faramir grabbed one of the tankards and smiled at his father, who grinned and hurried off to dance with Diamond before they ate. Cordy and Théo grabbed a tankard each, as did Pippin Gamgee who had joined them in time for dinner to be served. They raised their tankards and drank a toast to the melted snow and the summer ahead.
"Where is the food, I'm starving" Théo said.
"You're not the only one" Faramir said. "I could eat an entire cow, all on my own!"
"Then fill up your stomach with some ale, and leave some food for the rest of us" Cordy said and patted his cousin on the shoulder.
"Dinner's on its way" Merry Gamgee declared and sat down next to his brother Pippin. "It smells wonderful! Who's been doing the cooking?"
"I have no idea, and I don't really care" Théo said.
Faramir smiled at Merry and wondered how he was doing. They hadn't seen each other since that October day, that was more than six months ago. Merry seemed to be doing quite alright. Faramir wondered how Goldilocks was, but he didn't dare to ask. Merry would only be worried that he might still feel something for his sister, and the others would be suspicious as to why he asked about Goldilocks specifically.
"So here you all are" Daisy Gamgee said and sat down next to Faramir. "They are serving dinner now, starting at the other end of the table, but unfortunately this was the only seat vacant. I guess I'll have to put up with you lads over a meal."
"Always a pleasure, sister" Pippin Gamgee said with a smile.
He looked over at the other end of the table to see how far away the food was. He had always preferred a buffet to dinner being served at larger parties, but there was not much to do about it now. Right now he could see Éowyn Brandybuck being served her meal, which meant there were only five more Hobbits in-between the food and their party. Éowyn looked up from the food and sent a wonderful smile their way, Pippin couldn't help but smile back at her. Little did he know the smile was meant for his brother, sitting next to him.
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Faramir walked away from the party area, for once not feeling like dancing and drinking ale with his friends. He was reminded of the year before, and it made him feel uncomfortable somehow. He had told his friends he would take a walk and get some air; they had sent him on his way with jesting pats on the back and instructions to stay away from the ale for a while.
He found himself walking down to the meadow where he been on Midsummer the year before. And he found Goldilocks there, sitting on the slopes with her eyes on the river and her skirts pulled tightly around her legs. He hadn't hoped to see her alone, but there she was and he couldn't turn back for she might hear him. Instead he walked up to her, and she turned and saw him approach. He sat down beside her and looked at the river in silence for a while.
"How was winter?" he asked.
"Lonely."
"How is spring?"
"Not so lonely."
They looked at each other for a moment. Goldilocks had a strain of hair falling down across her face and Faramir wished he could pull it aside and tuck it behind her ear. She lifted up her hand and let her fingers trace gently, barely even touching, against a scar on his cheek.
"This is new" she said.
"It will heal" he said. "I hurt myself out hunting with my father. Uncle Merry says the scar won't be visible in time."
She nodded.
"Should we talk?" she asked. "Is it better to talk about winter, or should we just sit? I don't want to make any mistakes."
"I haven't thought about you" Faramir lied. "Not until this morning… Last summer was wonderful, but I'm glad we are where we are now. Last summer was… something we thought of as love. But we both know it was nothing of the sort."
She didn't say anything. She looked out at the river and Faramir did the same. After a while they turned to look at each other again. The strain of hair was still in her face; Faramir gently leaned closer and tucked it in behind her ear. As he did their lips met in a kiss, short like their very first kiss but gentle as their very last.
"I'm glad you haven't been thinking about me" Goldilocks said. "And that you agree that we were never in love and never will be. Then it is safe for us to kiss now."
They kissed each other with hunger, and for a long time they did nothing else but kiss, making up for all the time they had lost during winter. When they finally parted Goldilocks touched his swollen lips with her hand and realized someone might be able to put two and two together when they returned to the party after being away for so long. She rose to her feet and walked down to the river, scooping up some cold water to chill her lips with.
"What now?" Faramir said.
"I don't know…" she sighed. "Let's just… go back to the party."
He got up and offered her his hand. She took it but then let go.
"We cannot walk in there hand in hand" she said. "You go first, I'll follow behind."
Without replying Faramir turned and walked back to the party. Goldilocks could tell he was upset. She didn't blame him, but there was nothing to do about the situation. She called his name after him but Faramir didn't turn to look at her. He was furious with himself, and with her, for what had happened. There was no point in all of this, getting to kiss her was not worth the heartache that would inescapably come. He was set on leaving Goldilocks behind, for good this time.
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"So here we are again" Merry Gamgee said and looked at his three companions.
His sister looked away, avoiding letting her eyes rest even for a second on Faramir. She was sitting next to her brother, opposite Faramir who had his arm around Éowyn. The foursome had decided to meet and talk, things had been very awkward between all four of them at the party and the situation had to be resolved in one way or another.
"Let me ask you all this…" Éowyn said. "Is there anyone here who hasn't spent all winter thinking of the person they spent last summer with?"
Nobody answered her. She looked at Merry who looked away when their eyes met. But his eyes soon returned and seeing conformation in his eyes that he had thought of her too made her smile. Merry smiled slightly in return, he couldn't help but to smile when she did. He couldn't believe that her feelings for him had survived the long winter. Éowyn was just too fair and too good to even be remotely interested in the likes of him. But whenever he said so she told him he was crazy and she should be lucky to have his affection.
"What are we supposed to do?" Goldilocks said. "I cannot have uncertainty; I need to know either way. And please don't get up and leave Faramir, not just yet! Can't we talk first?"
"There's nothing to talk about" Faramir said. "Nothing has changed! I'm not game for another summer. It's too painful when the end comes, and it will come."
Éowyn looked at Merry and wondered how he felt. She knew it was insane, but she couldn't help but toy with the idea of another summer. Just one more summer and then they could leave it behind as a lovely memory. But Faramir was showing proof that he was Diamond's son as well as Pippin's and thought ahead of what would lie before them. This winter had been lonely, and the next would be even worse if they spent another summer together. He wanted Goldilocks either for real or not at all, and since the former was not an option it would have to be the latter. He was determined to stick to the statement that he had no real feelings for her.
"Faramir we said a summer, didn't we?" Goldilocks said.
"I know we did" Éowyn said. "Merry and I said a summer, that was our arrangement."
"That was in early July" Goldilocks said. "Summer begins in June."
"What are you saying?" Faramir asked.
"I'm saying you promised me a summer… I want a summer. A full summer."
"I don't want to" Faramir said honestly. "I don't want to have to put you out of my mind again! I'm only interested if it can be for long, and it can't! I don't want to fall for you."
"Well I know what I want" Éowyn said and rose from her seat next to Faramir to sit in Merry's lap instead. "I want the full summer we planned for."
Goldilocks looked at Faramir who sighed and rubbed his temples. It was clear that Éowyn and Merry were set on spending another summer together, and Goldilocks desperately wanted another summer with Faramir. But he hesitated. She longed to look him in the eye and tell him that if he was unable to resist kissing her when her face was just centimeters from his own then he should spend this summer with her. But she knew that if he did prove unable to resist it he would only get up and leave, determined to keep physical distance from her if he couldn't keep an emotional one. She didn't know what to do.
She rose and walked over to him, kneeling right in front of him and leaning as close as she dared to. She looked him into the eye and whispered into his ear.
"It's just a game… Nothing to be taken seriously… I didn't think about you this winter and you didn't think about me… It's just kissing…"
Faramir groaned and pulled her close for a hug. She couldn't keep a smile off her face. She knew she had won him over.
XX
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Aramac sighed and told himself to hurry up and get this over with. He was down at the marketplace to get some fruit for an overnight hike in the woods he was taking with three of his friends. Going to the marketplace was no longer pleasant; it was the place where the HAMs usually gathered, since many of the Delverings earned their keep nowadays by selling what little surplus they produced. Aramac often found himself the target of the HAMs along with the group of friends he spent most of his time with. It angered him that his friends had to take the anger of these misguided Hobbits, but the HAMs seemed to think they were as bad as the Brandybucks because they were friends with them. It was all ridiculous, but it was getting harder and harder for Aramac to shake off.
At first Chet Delvering and his friends had delivered their vocal attacks to all four of the Brandybuck brothers, but lately Aramac felt he was getting the bigger load. Théodoc didn't go to the marketplace very often and since he mostly stayed at Brandy Hall he never ran into the HAMs. Cordy had earned what little respect came with fear since he had pushed Chet Delvering up against the wall, and as far as Lucky was concerned they didn't see him very often either. Lucky spent most of his time out walking or riding, or at Brandy Hall reading about the Elves and pestering their father with questions about them.
Aramac turned to his friend Deny Took and asked him how much fruit he thought they should bring. In the corner of his eye he could see Chet and his group, at the moment busy loading blankets off a cart.
"A whole sack of apples" Deny said. "And let's get some carrots as well! I love a good carrot to nibble on when I'm out riding. Let's get a move on, I can spot HAM and I'm not very keen on seeing them."
"We'll take our good time" Aramac said. "I'm not going to let them stop me from coming here. I just wish they would tire of persecuting my father and my family."
"Don't count on it happening anytime soon" Deny said. "Chet Delvering has gained a lot of new support for his group by riding around to the less fortunate Hobbits and explaining to them how all of their misfortune can be blamed on your father. Word is he's got a group of twenty now. Still only about seven in his inner circle, but maybe it's time for the Master to start worrying."
"Try telling that to my father" Aramac said. "He's fully convinced they will get tired of it all and move on."
"What do you think?"
"I think such things should be ended before they get a chance to really start" Aramac said. "But it's the Master's decision; I can't do anything unless he decides to disband the group."
Deny nodded, but secretly wished there was something they could do. He took it extremely personally when Chet and his group came with their insults and harsh words.
"All we can do right now is to ignore them" Aramac said. "Personally I want to show them that we cannot be driven from the marketplace by any of their cheap attacks. Come, let's walk right by them on our way out, and let them know how little we care about their comments."
"I don't think that's wise" Deny sighed, but he followed Aramac anyway.
"Hey Brandybuck, what brings you to our fine part of town?" Chet said as they passed by.
Aramac didn't acknowledge him with as much as a look. But he stopped when someone spit right in front of him, and turned to see who it had been.
"What are you looking at me like that for?" Chet asked. "I thought I was free to do as I pleased, isn't that so? Didn't your father save me from all evil and allow me to live freely?"
"If he is his father" one of the lasses in the group said and gave Aramac an evil grin.
"At least it's obvious he ain't yours" Aramac countered and walked off with Deny in tow. He could hear the lass shouting something less than flattering to him, but he didn't hear what it was. "Those Hobbits should really get themselves a hot bath and some good manners" he said to Deny. "I don't know what's worse, their smell or their talk. Even the lasses are getting smart in the mouth now. Just last week one of them said the rudest thing to Théo, I swear I have never seen my brother look so offended in all my life."
"Yes, they're getting worse alright" Deny sighed. "That lass who just spoke with you is new, apparently the new lasses in the group are smugger than the others were."
"Give me strength…" Aramac sighed.
XX
XX
"Would you hurry up, Lucky?" Aramac complained.
"Don't rush me" Lucky said and grabbed a pair of tweezers. "I can see the splinter, but if you don't keep still then I'll never get it out."
"Perhaps you should be more careful when you go balancing on logs" Estella said to her son and sat down by the stool her husband had his feet on and began rubbing them.
"Everybody gets splinters in their feet sooner or later" Aramac said. "I just want to get it out so I can walk on it again."
"I've never gotten a splinter" Lucky said. "Keep still now…"
"Splinter aside…" Théo said and eyed his brother's feet and legs. "Where did you get that bruise above your ankle?"
"It was a lass" Cordy said with a grin.
"Yes, but not the way my brother makes it sound" Aramac said and gave a cry of pain when Lucky pulled the splinter out.
"Big baby" Lucky teased and held the splinter up for his brother to see. "Do you wish to keep this as a reminder?"
"No" Aramac said. "Thanks Lucky."
"So who is this lass?" Éowyn asked and tied another ribbon into her sister's hair which she was braiding.
"Actually it was three lasses" Aramac said and rubbed his aching foot. "They are part of the HAM group."
"Haven't I told you to stay away from them?" Merry said.
"Yes but they won't stay away from us" Cordy complained. "Aramac, Faramir and I were out with the Banks brothers, in that little creek in the woods by the Brandywine. We were balancing across a log that's fallen right across the water sometime recently, and they just showed up out of nowhere and begun harassing us."
"Yes, and while I was balancing three of the lasses threw rocks at me" Aramac said. "I lost my balance, slipped and got this splinter stuck in my foot. And the bruise to go with it."
"Merry can't you do something about this?" Estella asked. "I don't like my sons getting hurt. Throwing rocks, my word!"
"You need to stop letting them know they bother you" Merry said. "If you don't get annoyed by them then annoying you loses all its charm to them."
"Easier said than done" Aramac muttered. "I don't like it when it's the lasses! Thank goodness none of my sisters have a mouth like Chet's pack! Especially the lass going with Tack Sacker, that Gemma Delvering. And that other one, the girlfriend Chet Delvering has, what's her name?"
"Daisy Bluebell" Lucky said.
"Such a sweet name for such a foul being" Aramac said.
"Aramac!" his mother exclaimed. "I will not have you saying such things about others!"
"She is a foul being" Cordy insisted. "They all are."
"Bluebell, that's an unusual name" Merry said. "I don't know of anyone named Bluebell."
"Be glad you don't know this Bluebell" Aramac said.
"I don't want to hear another word about any Bluebell" Estella said. "Théo won't you read us something instead? I would love to hear a story."
"How about the one about the fair named lass with the fowl tongue?" Lucky suggested, causing his brothers to laugh.
"Enough" Merry decided. "A story Théo, if you please."
Théo got up and chose a book from the shelf. He sat down in his favorite armchair, moved the candle on the table closer and opened the book. Merry leaned far back in his chair when his son began to read and allowed himself to relax for the first time this evening. Estella's hands kept rubbing his feet; it felt good to be a bit mollycoddled by her. His feet ached when he walked for too long, even though he refused to admit it to anyone, it was nice to have them taken care of for a while.
Éowyn continued to braid her sister's hair and tie blue ribbons at the end of each braid, admiring the contrast the color had to her sister's blonde hair. She couldn't concentrate on the story her brother was reading, tending to her sister's hair had made her think of Goldilocks whose curls had been the same color as Lúthien's at a younger age. Once she was reminded of Goldilocks the step was not far to Merry Gamgee. By now Éowyn was sure; she was in love with him. And he felt the same way about her; she could tell when they were together. What she would do with her feelings when winter came she didn't know, but she didn't care right now. They had all summer, and she was not going to waste a second of it by thinking of winter. She didn't even care anymore that her family thought she was going with Faramir. All she cared about was getting to see Merry.
XX
XX
Faramir looked over at his parents with curious eyes. The three of them were sitting in front of the fireplace, each one busy with his or her own task. Faramir's mother was mending her husband's favorite walking clothes while Faramir's father smoked his pipe and read some letters. In his lap Faramir had a pickaxe which needed a new handle and he was looking for a suiting piece of wood to replace it with. It was a normal evening at the Great Smials and Faramir was amazed at how quiet it was. His parents didn't talk much with each other, and Faramir rarely had much to say these days. Not too long ago he had always told his parents about his day when they sat by the fireplace, and they had shared the most interesting parts of theirs with him and with each other. Nowadays Faramir had nothing to tell. Nothing that his parents' ears could hear at least.
Pippin looked up from his letters and smiled when his eyes met his son's. He had been beaming with pride and joy ever since he had gotten convinced that Faramir was shyly courting Éowyn. Faramir never said a word about it, but Pippin had found out through Merry that the young Took came to Brandy Hall several times a week to go out riding with Éowyn. Adding that to the fact that Faramir seemed to spend most of his time lost in daydreams and that he was reluctant to share what he had been up to during the day with his parents made Pippin sure that there was a romance developing between the two. It was the best news Pippin or Merry could have hoped for, finally their children seemed to be finding their way into each other's arms, and without the assistance of their fathers.
Faramir looked away when he saw his father's smile. It made him feel a bit ashamed that his father was so happy about the unspoken relationship he thought Faramir had with Éowyn. But Faramir told himself that it was just for this summer and they weren't really lying anyway.
Pippin got up from his chair and went over to the desk in the corner of the room.
"There was something I was planning on giving you for my 70th birthday Faramir, only I never got a good opportunity this winter" he said.
"That was months ago" Faramir said. "You don't have to give anything to me now! You already got me something on your birthday."
"Nonsense" Pippin said. "If I want to give you something special then so I shall, even if it's a bit late."
Faramir looked at his mother, who shrugged her shoulders. She didn't have a clue what Pippin had in mind but once he had decided on something there was no stopping him. And right now he had decided to give something to his son.
"This was very special to me once…" he said and handed Faramir a soft parcel.
"It's an old cape" Faramir said, not really getting it.
"No, it's the cape I wore when I first left the Shire" Pippin said. "I loved this cape… It's seen a lot too. When I was far from home and I felt like there was only trouble in my heart, this cape helped bring me back home to the Shire, at least in my mind. Your grandmother made it for me when I was around twenty-six or so. I want you to have it now; I've been saving it for you ever since you were little."
"Father I don't know that I can accept this" Faramir said and looked at the cape.
"Really Peregrin, you shouldn't give him such old, moth eaten clothes!" Diamond said. "Sentimental value! Rubbish, I say!"
"Take it" Pippin said to Faramir, giving an icy glare to Diamond. "I saved it for you. Do as you wish with it, if you don't want it then save it for your children. Just don't let your mother get her hands on it, she would only burn it."
"I do appreciate the thought, Father…" Faramir said. "But I don't need another cape."
"It's your decision" Pippin said and walked back to his old seat.
Faramir sighed deeply and felt really bad. Obviously he had hurt his father's feelings, but he couldn't see what use he would have of an old, dirty cape. If his father really wanted to give him something special he could have given him the Elven cape.
"I was also going to give you my permission to move in to Crickhollow" Pippin said and stuck his pipe back in his mouth. "But now I've changed my mind."
"Crickhollow?" Faramir exclaimed and sat up straight. "Father I would love to go live there! Cordy is almost 24, we could live there together!"
"I said I changed my mind" Pippin said.
"Over an old cape?" Diamond said with an eyebrow raised.
"I'm not so sure it's a good idea" Pippin said. "Living there with Comradoc? He won't come of age for another ten years; he's far too young to move in there! At first I thought it would do you good Faramir to get to stand on your own two feet, but I don't want you living there on your own. And believe what you may, but this is not about the cape. It's just that I don't see any reason to entrust things dear to my heart to Faramir quite yet, for obviously he is not mature enough to appreciate them."
"Then it is about the cape" Diamond sighed.
Faramir didn't listen to their continued squabble. He was too excited at the idea of moving out to Crickhollow. Getting away from his parents would allow him more freedom, and more time to be with Goldilocks. They could even spend some time sitting in front of the fireplace together, or having a meal at a real table. Only problem would be Comradoc living there with them, but Faramir had longed to tell his best friend about the truth concerning his romance for quite some time now. Though his father was right, Cordy was perhaps a bit young. Even if Merry gave his okay Faramir knew Estella would object. There had to be some other way.
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"Live at Crickhollow with you?" Éowyn exclaimed, staring at Faramir with eyes wide open. "Faramir are you mad?"
"Just think of how wonderful it would be!" Faramir said. "We would have all the freedom in the world, you and Merry, me and Goldilocks…"
Éowyn wondered if the moment had finally come when her second-cousin had lost his mind completely. He had insisted on taking her out on this walk through the woods and she was thankful that they were too far away for anyone to overhear them. This was the most ridiculous idea she had heard in a long time.
"Faramir we cannot live together, what kind of impression would that make? Especially when people think we're infatuated!"
The smile finally left Faramir's face.
"You're right" Faramir said. "I didn't even think of that! I just don't see you that way, it made me forget that everyone else thinks I do."
"I do like the idea as such" Éowyn said. "If we had Crickhollow we would have more freedom. But you and I both know uncle Pippin won't let you live there on your own. And how would we be able to keep our secret from whichever brother of mine would be living there too?"
"I've been thinking about that, and I want to tell Cordy."
"Tell Cordy?" Éowyn exclaimed. "Out of the question! You are out of your mind! How are we going to be able to keep my brother quiet?"
"I don't like having secrets from my best friend."
"You made that choice a year ago; you have three other Hobbits who trust you not to bring this secret to someone else. I forbid you to tell Cordy! He would not understand!"
"But what if he does?"
"What if the snake had legs? Faramir it is hard enough keeping this secret between the four of us. Telling a fifth only makes it harder! And if you get to tell your best friend then why shouldn't the rest of us get to? And then all of a sudden we have eight Hobbits who know!"
"But we know we can trust your brother."
"Not as far as we can throw him, that lad speaks before he thinks. How long before he gives us away by accident?"
"No, not when it's important!" Faramir insisted. "He can keep it to himself if he has to."
"Faramir we don't even know that he would want to" Éowyn said. "He might very well tell us to come clean to our fathers or he will do it for us. We only have a few more months, why can't you keep your mouth shut?"
"Fine" Faramir said. "I won't tell him."
"Good" Éowyn said.
XX
XX
July that year came with good weather and a warm sun. A lot of Hobbits spent most their time outdoors, yet it was surprisingly easy for the four youngsters to find secluded areas to meet. There was a small meadow by the Brandywine River, ten kilometers from the Brandywine Bridge, where few people went. It was really more of a glade in the woods which led all the way down to the water, making it a bit difficult to get down there but well worth it in the end. Merry and Goldilocks would make their way through the woods while Éowyn and Faramir took a boat down the river. The meadow came right by a corner of the river, so the glade was not visible to anyone further up or down the river. It was the perfect place.
At first they preferred to meet up and then go their separate ways, one couple staying on the meadow and the other going for a walk in the woods. Merry and Goldilocks were not entirely comfortable at first with seeing their sibling together with their love interest, but by and by the four of them got more comfortable around each other. Every now and then they would spend a few minutes together all four of them before going their separate ways.
"Do you ever recall summer being this lovely?" Éowyn asked Merry with a content sigh and leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked together through the woods.
"I haven't noticed the summer yet" Merry answered. "I've had far more lovely things to occupy my mind with."
Éowyn smiled and gave him a kiss. He was so gentle, she loved that about him. Some of his father's poetic side had made its way into him, but he was a bit embarrassed whenever he tried to use it. She thought it was endearing, and she loved how sensible he was, so different from all the other lads who had tried to get her attention over the years. He was never bragging about himself, always primarily concerned with how she was doing, and when he spoke of his love for animals there was a passion in his eyes which Éowyn felt made him look more alive than any of the overly active wildheads she had known. And above all, he didn't treat her as a price to be won, or as a person consisting only of a fair exterior. He cared about her for who she was on the inside; no lad had ever even cared what her personality was like before. He made her feel like she would be worth the world to him even if her face was as ugly as a troll's, she had never believed in that before. It was good to know her beauty was trivial.
They walked back out in the glade and heard Faramir and Goldilocks before they saw them.
"See? Didn't I tell you?" Faramir's voice cried happily, and Goldilocks shrieked in response.
Merry came to a halt when he finally saw them, not on the meadow but in the Brandywine River. Goldilocks was doing her best to stay above water, trying to learn how to swim, while Faramir waited a few meters away to grab a hold of her when she had swam the distance.
"I can't believe it!" Merry gasped to Éowyn. "He got her in the water! Nobody has ever managed to get her in the water since Hamfast drowned!"
"Never underestimate the power of love" Éowyn smiled and wrapped her arms around Merry from behind. "I bet he was planning this too, look, he's in his swimsuit."
"She is not however" Merry said. "How are we ever going to be able to explain this?"
"Give her an hour and she'll be much dryer. And if not, just tell your mother she fell into the water."
"Mother will never believe that."
"It's true though" Éowyn said with a smile.
Merry doubted the excuse would work, but he didn't bother to think about it anymore right now. All the Gamgee children knew how to swim; Sam had insisted on it since Ham's death, Goldilocks was the only exception. She had seen her brother fall into the Brandywine and drown, nothing anybody had to say had ever been able to convince her to go into the water. She was scared of the river, and didn't even like Faramir traveling on it by boat, which was why he had decided to cure her of her fear.
"I don't think I will forget this sight for as long as I live" Merry said. "I'm glad my sister is finally learning how to swim. Even if it took this secret arrangement to make it happen."
XX
XX
"A picnic basket!" Faramir exclaimed. "Goldilocks you are by far the loveliest!"
Goldilocks smiled and received his thankful kiss with joy. She had gotten sick and tired of always being hungry when she met with him, nobody ever brought any food and they often spent a few hours together at a time. This time she had decided to bring a picnic basket, though it had been difficult to fill it with enough food for four without anybody raising an eyebrow.
"I only have one basket" she said to Éowyn. "We're going to have to meet up and eat together. Should we say in an hour?"
Éowyn nodded. The four of them had met up on a different spot than usual today, since the sky was filled with clouds and most Hobbits stayed indoors. As lovely as the glade was it took them a while to get there and meeting someplace closer to the main road saved them some time.
"Should we meet here?" Merry asked. "We can eat here by the edge of the cornfield. The Farmer Maggot doesn't come here a lot, right?"
"He usually doesn't" Faramir said. "A lot of young Hobbits around here come to this spot to have some time alone with their beau. Farmer Maggot knows this and mostly allows them some privacy. Goldilocks you take the basket, Merry and Éowyn we'll see you in an hour."
An hour later the four of them began working their way through the basket. Everybody ate with good appetite, save for Goldilocks who was concerned someone might see them together. Faramir's assurance that Farmer Maggot rarely came there didn't make her feel any better, the fact that it was commonly known that young lovers came to this spot made her look over her shoulder once a minute. If anybody did see them it would be hard to keep their secret, nobody would believe the four of them just came there to have a picnic.
"Would you relax?" Faramir said when she jumped three feet in the air when he put his arm around her shoulder. "Nothing is going to happen."
"Shh!" Merry said. "Do you hear something?"
The four of them sharpened their ears. Indeed it did sound like someone was coming. Goldilocks flew to her feet.
"Oh no!" she whispered. "What do we do now?"
"Get in to the cornfield!" Éowyn said. "We can hide there!"
"But what about the picnic?" Merry asked.
"Merry how can you be thinking about food right now?" his sister asked and hurried in amongst the corn.
"We can't just leave it here, whoever it is will wonder!"
"You're right" Faramir said. "You go hide with your sister, Éowyn and I stay here."
Quickly Merry fled into the cornfield. Éowyn brushed the crumbs off her skirt and hated herself for not daring to stand up for her affection. But in the end neither of them was willing to risk as much as they would be risking just for a summer's fling. None of them dared to admit even to themselves that it was unrealistic to label it a summer fling; it had lasted more than a year now. Éowyn looked at Faramir and knew he was thinking the same thing she was. Whoever saw them now would put more wood to the fire that was the rumor that the two of them were together. They didn't like this dishonesty but it was too late now.
"It's our fathers!" Éowyn gasped when she heard the approaching Hobbits' voices. "What are they doing here?"
"Relax" Faramir said. "Ouch, what did you pinch me for?"
"Goldilocks' hat!" Éowyn said and nodded to the left behind hat on the blanket. "Father knows that isn't mine! What do we do now?"
Faramir grabbed a hold of her.
"I'm going to kiss you" he said. "Just pretend I'm your beau."
She closed her eyes and pretended, while he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She kissed him back, hoping that it would look real enough and not like they were uncomfortable. A second later Pippin and Merry rounded the cornfield on their ponies and noticed the pair. The two shared a slightly startled look, but Pippin then smiled wide.
"Should we bother them?" he mouthed to his cousin.
"Lovely day for a picnic!" Merry said to Éowyn and Faramir.
The two broke their kiss and both of them looked away with blushing cheeks. Éowyn was thankful they would believe that their awkwardness came from having been seen by their fathers more than from having kissed with their beaus probably close enough to see them.
"I'm sorry" Faramir said and looked down at his hands while he let go of Éowyn.
"Just don't do anything you shouldn't" Pippin said. "And be home in time for dinner."
"Actually I'm glad we found you Faramir" Merry said. "We have decided to let you and Comradoc move in to Crickhollow. Though not until next spring, I still think Cordy's a little young. And just over summer."
"That sounds wonderful!" Faramir and lit up.
"But you won't be visiting at all hours of the day, young lady" Merry said to his daughter. "People might start to talk."
Éowyn nodded but didn't dare to look at her father. She grabbed Faramir's hands, feeling a bit better knowing that he was in the same situation she was.
"Have a good day now" Pippin said with a grin and rode off together with Merry.
Faramir and Éowyn looked at each other and held their breaths until their fathers were out of sight. Then Faramir whistled and the other two Hobbits came out from their hiding spot. Éowyn quickly let go of Faramir and clung to Merry instead. Faramir picked up Goldilocks hat and gave it back to her. At least their fathers had been so occupied with the sight of him and Éowyn kissing that they hadn't noticed the hat.
"I think we should go home now" he said. "I've had enough excitement for one day."
XX
XX
The next time they met up at the glade, feeling much safer there. When the sun began to set the four of them gathered on the meadow, all of them thinking about their picnic which could have led to them being discovered by Pippin and Merry.
Faramir stretched out in the grass and stared at the clouds, trying to forget about the talk he had had with his father when he came home that evening. Pippin had told him that he was much proud of him for his choice, the only request he had was that Faramir made sure to treat Éowyn appropriately. No more picnics at known romantic meeting points, they could meet at the Smials if they wanted to. Faramir certainly didn't want to.
Goldilocks gave him a pat on the knee to get his attention. She was sitting between his spread out legs on the ground, tugging up grass with the roots, and now she wanted to know what he was thinking. Merry and Éowyn, sitting close together next to them, were also interested in hearing what was on Faramir's mind. He seemed to be the most preoccupied one of them all.
"I want you to tell me what is on your mind, sweet cheeks" Goldilocks said.
"I'm thinking about the future" Faramir said. "I know we said we wouldn't, but I had a talk with my Father the other day and it made me realize something. They expect us now to be openly a pair at parties, gatherings or just whenever our families meet, Éowyn. When the next party comes they will expect to see us sitting together, dancing together, you know, being an item."
"I think you should tell them you don't feel that way about each other" Goldilocks said. "I know they think you do, but you could tell them those feelings ended. The longer you play that charade the harder it will be to put an end to it. And you don't want to be forced to act in love even when these romances are just a memory."
"My father wants me to get married" Faramir said. "I am almost 30 now, I am old enough. I fear we have complicated things by acting like we're smittened with each other Éowyn. Instead of our fathers arranging a marriage for us they will expect me to ask you to marry me. I don't want to have to go through life pretending to be in love with you when I'm not."
"You will marry each other?" Goldilocks said.
"Yes, most likely" Faramir said. "The people we were named after are married, our fathers have gotten it into their heads that we should marry too. Ever since my birth they have planned on arranging marriage between us if we don't find love elsewhere soon enough. And where does that leave you and me, Goldilocks?"
"I don't see how it makes a difference" Goldilocks said. "You will marry some Took or Brandybuck or Banks, this thing between us is just for now."
"I feel the four of us are friends" Faramir said. "I wonder what will happen to that friendship when you and Merry see Éowyn and I married."
"Maybe you won't be" Merry said. "If you tell your fathers you fell out of love they won't force you to marry."
"I believe otherwise" Faramir said. "I wonder, will you still be my friend Merry if you see Éowyn carrying my child?"
"Faramir!" Éowyn exclaimed. "That's going a bit too… personal!"
"I don't see why you have to marry out of an arrangement" Goldilocks said and tried to fight back the tears that she for some reason felt coming. "A marriage is something you enter out of love!"
"Don't be ridiculous" Faramir said. "Our families have married out of practical reasons rather than love for generations and generations. The romantic love you feel on your wedding day might be gone after a few years. That kind of love is fleeting. The love that grows after marriage lasts longer."
"How can you have arranged marriages?" Goldilocks said. "I understand that you cannot marry the first Delvering that comes your way but don't you want to find someone of the right status to love?"
"Some do" Éowyn said. "If I fall in love with someone from an acceptable family then we are more than welcome to get married. But our parents can also arrange a marriage for us; make sure we get a good party."
"That sounds terrible" Merry said.
"My parents were an arranged match" Faramir said. "At least I think so. They don't seem like they were young lovers at least."
"What do you mean?" Éowyn said. "I always thought they married because they fell in love."
"I used to think so when I was younger" Faramir said. "But looking at them now… They don't seem to have any romantic feelings for one another; they seem more like… like a pair of horses in front of the same cart. They belong together and shouldn't be parted. But love?"
"They're always so sweet with one another" Goldilocks said, unable to remember a single time she had seen Faramir's parents together and questioned that they were in love.
"They're very fond of each other" Faramir said. "But I have my doubts. For one thing I have no siblings! If they were in love you'd think they'd have a lot of children. But they had me, an heir, and then no other children."
"My parents have an arranged marriage" Éowyn said. "Mother was actually in love with someone else when the arrangement was made."
"Your poor mother!" Goldilocks gasped. "I mean, not that she's married to your father, but that she had to give up someone she loved!"
"I never knew that" Faramir said. "Who was he?"
"I don't know, nobody likes to talk about it" Éowyn said. "Father fell in love with Mother and made up his mind, he was going to have her. And he got his way."
"Without any regards to the other lad?" Merry asked.
"My mother cared for my father when they were married" Éowyn said. "She is practical. She knew she might fall out of love with the other lad someday and a marriage with my father was a great arrangement. And I know she loves him now, she misses him so much whenever he's gone. Arranged marriages can work out wonderfully, I'm not worried about that being my future."
"But do you think it will be with Faramir?" Goldilocks asked.
"I assume it will be" Éowyn said. "Unless our fathers change their minds, in which case I'm fairly certain my sister will take my place as Madam Took. But an arrangement between us Faramir might not be so bad. We'll both know where the other stands."
"Maybe" Faramir said. "But truth be told I'm not entirely comfortable with the thought of having children with you. That's my father's main concern right now, that I marry and have an heir. You feel like a sister to me Éowyn; I can't quite see you as the mother of my children."
"I'm cold" Goldilocks said and shivered in the quite warm evening.
Faramir sat up and put his arms around her, gently rubbing her arms to warm her up. He had a feeling it was not so much the temperature in the air but the subject at hand that made her feel cold. It must be hard for her hearing him speak with Éowyn about having children together. He knew he would be jealous if he heard talk about her having a family with some other lad. Although they kept playing their game of their whole affair being nothing but a physical attraction they both knew that it went deeper than that. When Faramir closed his eyes and pictured his future children the mother's face was always Goldilocks'.
Goldilocks couldn't bring herself to look at him right now. His protective arms were around her and his warm breath was in her ear, it felt comforting to be leaned back in his arms. But they were living on borrowed, or rather stolen time. He never had been hers and he never would be. Reality was much harder to deal with than she could have ever imagined.
XX
XX
"I don't know why your sister has become so secretive lately" Merry said to Théodoc while they were lifting blankets up on a cart. "She never used to have trouble talking to me. I guess there comes a point when daughters need rather turn to their mothers than their fathers."
"Has she talked to Mother?" Théo asked.
"Not that I know of" Merry admitted. "I was hoping she would have talked to you though. Not that I wish for you to betray her confidence, but I wouldn't mind getting some confirmation that this thing with Faramir is getting serious."
"She hasn't said anything to me about Faramir" Théo said and jumped up on the cart next to Merry. "I can tell that something is different about her but I honestly don't believe that it's Faramir. She would have told us if it were."
"She won't talk to me, or her mother, and she's not talking to you…" Merry said. "What is she so embarrassed about? She knows I love Faramir and would happily welcome him as a son-in-law."
"If this is about Faramir then perhaps the problem is that she doesn't want the pressure of you and uncle Pippin" Théo suggested. "But I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. There's nothing that really points to them being involved."
"Aside from kissing at that spot by Farmer Maggot's corn where all the infatuated youngsters go" Merry said with an eyebrow raised at his son.
"What?" Théo said. "Where did you get that idea?"
"Pippin and I saw them" Merry said.
Théo mulled over this for a moment. He had always been very close with his sister and thought she told him everything. But he hadn't heard this. It made him wonder why she would keep it from him when she knew that their father knew about it.
Merry halted the cart and leapt down to the ground. Théo took the reins while his father gathered some of the blankets and went inside the small house they had stopped by. Théo frowned and thanked his lucky star this was not his home. The house was small and needed to be repaired, and so did the small stables nearby. He thought he could sense a fowl smell in the air, but perhaps that was just his imagination.
His mind was back on his sister when Marco Delvering, one of Chet's friends, came out of the stables with his arms full of hay. Marco stopped and looked at Théo and then snorted.
"Too fine to even step down from the cart, are we?" he said.
Théo didn't answer. He was more comfortable up on the cart than having to stand next to the pony on the ground, but he refused to acknowledge to a HAM that he was uncomfortable too close to a pony's teeth.
Marco snorted again, spit on the ground and continued off with the hay. A lass came out from the stables, looking as in need of a freshening up as the surroundings, and she seized Théo with her eyes.
"Aren't you one of them Brandybuck brats?" she asked.
"What's it to you?" Théo asked.
"I don't want you here" she said. "You can just take that fancy cart of yours and head in another direction. Don't you have golden coins to count?"
"Don't be ridiculous" Théo said, wondering what he would say if she knew he had been helping the Brandy Hall blacksmith out when his father had asked him to go with him on this drive.
"Didn't you hear me?" she said and stepped closer, noticing how nervous Théo was around the pony and startling the animal intentionally. "I said get out of here!"
"I'm waiting for my father" Théo said, trying his best to keep the pony still. "I am not going until he gets back."
Before she could answer the door the house opened and Merry came out, this time without the blankets. He nodded a greeting to the lass, who was anything but glad to see him, and got up on the cart. While Théo was handing over the reins to Merry the lass took the opportunity to startle the pony again.
"Whoa!" Merry cried and halted the stirring pony. "Careful now miss, you're frightening the pony."
"I suggest you take your ponies and your charities and be gone!" she said acidly. "And let us decent Hobbits live our lives alone!"
Merry looked at Théo with sheer surprise in his eyes. None of the HAMs had ever talked to him that way before.
"Come on Daisy" Marco said, coming back from wherever he had left the hay. He grabbed her by the arm and led her inside, not quite ready to take on the Master himself just yet. "Go inside and milk the cow!"
Merry clicked his tongue at the pony and Théo kept in a sigh of relief as they headed off to the next house they were going to stop at. Merry shook his head at the whole thing and wondered what had gotten into this lass.
"She obviously woke up on the wrong side of her bed this morning" he said.
"Father I think she woke up on the wrong side of her bed this life" Théo said. "They're always like that, those HAMs… Though I've never heard any of them talk that way to you before. She seems angry, that lass."
"You'd think she'd show some gratitude that we brought them those blankets" Merry said. "Obviously she's got a lot of pride. That seems to be getting in her way."
"He called her Daisy… I wonder if that's the Daisy Bluebell Aramac and Cordy were talking about" Théo said.
"No, Delverings live in that house" Merry said.
Théo shuddered at the thought of there being yet another lass with a fowl mouth voicing her displeasure in public. If this lass was fowl even with Merry then Théo sure didn't want to see much of her.
XX
XX
That evening Théo went to find his sister, who was mending her favourite riding outfit. He wanted to ask her about what she had going on with Faramir and hoped she would open up to him. It hurt him that she didn't feel like she could talk to him, all their lives he had been there for her no matter what. She was still the only Hobbit he felt completely comfortable around, she and to some degree his uncle Fatty. He wanted to mean as much to her as she meant to him.
"Éowyn" he said. "I was wondering if we could talk."
"Certainly" she said and nodded at the stool next to her. "Have a seat. What do you want to talk to me about?"
"I was actually hoping you would talk to me" he said and sat down. "About what's really going on… with you and Faramir… You know that you can talk to me about anything. Father is hoping you will tell us you are engaged soon yet you have hardly said two words about it to anyone of us. Won't you tell me what is really happening? Are you really in love with Faramir?"
To his great surprise, and Éowyn's own, she began to cry. With a startled look on his face Théo moved closer and clumsily hugged his sister.
"Éomie…" he said, using his own private nickname for her. "What's the matter?"
"I don't know" she said. "I just feel so lost…"
He held her while she cried, but didn't get any information out of her. He couldn't understand why his favourite sister was closing up like this. But if all he could do for her right now was to hold her when she wept then he would do so.
XX
XX
"You are awfully quiet today" Goldilocks said and gently stroke Faramir's cheek. "Is there something the matter?"
"Goldie…" he said. "When winter is over and it's springtime again… I want to see you."
"Of course" she said. "We will always continue to meet, it would be hard to avoid with our families being so close."
"No, I meant that I want to see you the way I'm seeing you now."
Goldilocks shook her head.
"Faramir don't do this. We agreed, one summer!"
"That summer wasn't enough; we are here this summer again. What's to say we won't feel the same way next spring?"
"Last summer was not a full summer, this year--"
"Goldilocks come on, enough with the games" Faramir said. "Enough with pretending we're just testing our limits. No more pretending that we are just interested in a few stolen kisses. Enough with the excuses!"
Goldilocks swallowed hard. She was scared of where this conversation might lead.
"I felt strongly about you last year, even stronger now and probably I'll feel stronger still next year" Faramir said. "Should we ignore that? For what?"
"This cannot go on" Goldilocks said, stunned by the turn of events that she was now the reasonable one and he the one who disregarded consequence. "We both know that someday it will have to end."
"Someday but not in three weeks when summer is over."
"What do you suggest we do?" she asked. "Keep this secret romance? For how long? Until you stand there placing a wedding ring on Éowyn's finger?"
"All I'm saying is that we know our time is limited, why limit it even more? I don't want to look back at these years when I'm older, wondering why I didn't hold on to you for as long as I could! I don't want to have any regrets!"
"That's easy for you to say" she said. "I am not some toy you can just cast aside when a marriage is arranged."
"And I would never treat you as such!" Faramir said. "But our whole love affair has been a game of hide and seek, that much you knew as well as I did from the start. I am not saying you should be my entertainment until a better party is arranged, I am simply saying that I don't want to put an end to this before I have to!"
"You will make us both miserable" Goldilocks said.
"I know what you're thinking, I've been thinking that same thing for a long time" Faramir said. "Fear has told me not to give you too much of my heart, but somehow I did anyway. I can't forget that I love you just by sweeping it under the rug that is winter!"
Goldilocks didn't say anything. She had never heard him say that he loved her before. Neither of them had spoken such words, it had been part of a silent agreement that if their romance was going to work under the circumstances that were neither could get to admit that it was more than a casual fling.
"There is no future for us" he said bluntly. "You and I will never be together for real. I do wish that I could be there for you for as long as you'd let me, but I can't. But don't you think we will both regret it next summer if neither of us is attached to someone else yet we're not spending our time together?"
"I don't want to get too attached" Goldilocks said. "It hurts too much."
"It does hurt" Faramir said. "Darling I just fear it will hurt ten times more to know we've thrown away time that can be spent together. Who knows what time we do have? Will we only have time as long as seconds in eternity? Do we really want to waste what little time we have?"
"It's too risky" she said. "Look what this has done to us! We go behind our friends and families' back! We're putting a lot at stake in order to nurture feelings we will only have to crush someday! I look at my brother, he is in anxiety whenever he's parted from Éowyn for too long, I don't want to feel that strongly about you! I don't know that this passion is worth it."
"I cannot offer you anything" Faramir said. "Not even my unending love. All I have is right now and all you have to give me is next year."
"Perhaps we shouldn't talk about this now" Goldilocks said. "After all we have a long winter ahead of us first. Maybe we won't feel the same next year."
"Maybe not. But one winter was not enough to cure me of this love, why should one more do the trick?"
"I don't want you to say that you love me" she said. "Please, I can't forget about you if I think you love me."
"But I do" he said. "It's a cursed love for it will only bring me misery. But I can't look back on it knowing that it could have given me happiness for a longer time than it did."
"We should never have given in to our impulses and kissed in the first place" she said.
"I'm not sorry" he said. "Goldilocks… It does not matter to me now that things would have been so much easier if we'd never flirted with each other. None of that matters. We're in the waters we are in and although we cannot reach the shore together we could at least help each other swim."
"I don't even know what you mean by that" Goldilocks said. "Faramir I make no secret anymore of that I think about you all the time. I hear your name ringing in my head a thousand times a day, your kisses still burn me hours after you give me them, I--"
"Say that you love me" Faramir said.
"No."
"Say you do. And all the rest won't matter."
She looked at him with unhappy eyes. If she admitted to loving him then there would be no turning back. They could be blissfully happy for another summer if they were lucky but sooner or later she would have to watch him marry someone else. She didn't want to do that knowing that he loved her or she loved him. She wanted to see him only as an old flame when he got married. Anything else would be too painful. It was impossible to love someone she could never fully own. Her emotions felt like they were borrowed from whoever was going to be his wife, be it Éowyn or someone else. And above all she didn't want him to be too in love with her to be able to be happy with the lass he was wed to. He had always been out of reach and too good for her, the best she had to offer him was letting him be able to love someone else.
"I do not love you" she said. "You are nothing but a fling to me. I care for you, I do, but it's not love. It never was and it never will be."
"I see" he said and looked away with pain written all over his face. "I'm sorry to hear that. If it is the truth and you do not care for me then I shan't ask you to throw away your youth on me. I do have one condition though and that is that it all ends today."
Tears were burning, wanting to roll down her cheeks, but she held them back. She was not prepared to lose him today, she had her heart set on another few weeks with him before she said goodbye forever.
"There's something I want you to know though" he said. "I am no longer doubting that I've done the right thing being with you this summer. I would rather have been found out by my father that day by the cornfield than having lived my whole life without having held you close and heard the sound of your heartbeat."
The tears finally began to fall down Goldilocks' cheeks. She threw her arms around Faramir, unable to let him go.
"And I would rather break my heart in a hundred pieces then let you walk away from me before our summer is over" she finally admitted. "I cannot lie to you anymore… I do love you."
He held her tight and sighed with relief. The battle of strength was finally over. From this moment on they had no more worries and no more regrets. All they had was a moment at a time and they spent them as if their whole lives would be that way. When the time came they would know to part but that time was not there yet.
"If all of life is a journey…" Faramir said. "And love is a path you can choose to take… If so then this one thing is true, I shall never regret having followed that path with you, even if it's only for a few steps."
He held her until she finally had no more tears to cry. They might not have tomorrow but at least they had today.
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Thanks for reading!