AN: Okay, this Chapter was pretty good I think. I won't babble, but thank you to my reviewers, this story exists because of you!

Disclaimer: All characters and most settings belong to Eoin Colfer. The rest of the unclaimed genius belongs to me :D

------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Four

A Superior Monkey

A dark alleyway, Lower Elements

Artemis and Holly stared at the… thing. Artemis would usually give the things he saw a clearer description, but that was all he could do at the time. The colour, he couldn't describe too well either. It was like a colour light at the end of a dark tunnel: very faint, and you can just make it out by squinting a little. This light though, whenever you thought you saw the colour, it would change, and you would have to start with the guessing all over again. It had two black eyes, like a black diamond, twinkling in a menacing way amidst the floating haze.

The shape was just like a droplet of water. Round-ish and wobbling slightly as it hovered at Artemis' head height (which meant Holly was bending her head a little to gape at it). The two were thinking about two things. Artemis' mind was furiously analyzing the… blob's movements and what he thought it would be made out of and the texture and its mental capability, while Holly's head was just repeating the same thing over and over again. Something she so kindly voiced out loud for Artemis.

"What the hell is that?"

Artemis was about to reply, when the blob answered for him.

"I would rather it if you did not use such improper language in front of me, thank you. I am not a 'that', I am a superior being. Superior to you, fairies, and also, obviously, superior to you, human…"

Artemis looked at the blob with amusement, not really surprised by the fact that it could speak. If it could kidnap a fairy armed to the teeth with deluxe fairy technology, a complexion that could practically burn and with an attitude to boot, than it could at least communicate properly… "Then why don't you have a superior form?"

The blob revolved, laying its glittering black eyes on Artemis, whose deep blue eyes contrasted with the black as the two started at each other unflinchingly. It would be hard for a floating blob to flinch though.

"If you spared one second to stop think, Fowl, you would see that there is more to the mind than the outer image."

"Now it sounds like you." Holly snickered.

The blob revolved again.

"As I said, miss, I am not an 'it'. I am a-"

"Superior being, yes, we heard all that." Artemis said impatiently. "Do you have a name?"

"I do not sink to the petty level of needing someone to call me through speech." The blob said haughtily.

"Well, sorry, I cannot use telepathy." Artemis replied blandly.

"That is why I referred to myself as superior to humans." The blob continued to say, still haughtily. If it had arms it would've crossed them.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Okay, I changed my mind. I like you better." She paused after she said those words, thinking that maybe he would take it too literally.

Artemis was silent for a moment, wondering how he should react to such a comment, but spoke to the blob instead. "So since you are so superior to us, then you should be able to accept the fact that we need something to think of you as, unless you just want to be called 'blob'?"

The blob seemed to think about it for a minute. Its monotone voice had stopping vibrating the air around them, and Holly fidgeted. Artemis watched her, amused. She did act her size then. Holly found those blue eyes staring at her, and she grew slightly uncomfortable as the silence stretched on. At this moment though, the to-be-named blob spoke.

"You may call me Rafiki."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Rafiki? Are you serious? Is that really what such a superior being would be chosen to be named?"

"I liked the Lion King! Besides, all those animals are so stupid. Rafiki was the only one with sense."

Artemis rolled his eyes. The all-knowing, superior blob wants to name himself after a child's cartoon show. Great. Just great. If he was supposed to be superior to everyone, Artemis shuddered to think what the rest of the world would act like.

"Okay then, Rafiki." Holly said, obviously trying to smother a smirk. "What do you want? Why are you here?"

"I very much doubt, Holly, that he would tell us so straight forwardly." Artemis commented.

"Oh, and asking would be so wrong, wouldn't it?" she snapped back.

The self-named blob called Rafiki sighed. "Will you two take a break from harassing each other for one second, so I can answer the red head's question?"

Holly set her mouth, folding her arms. Artemis was so annoying. Rafiki continued.

"I have been watching you all," he began. Artemis cut him off.

"Us all? You mean, you've been the one watching me? And Juliet?"

The black eyes stared at him coldly. "I thought that you were supposed to be a genius?"

Artemis crossed his arms. Now he and Holly had the same posture. "I am a genius. I'm just confirming a new fact." He shot back.

The black eyes turned amused. It was hard to describe, but Holly thought it was the look that Root got when he was about to punish someone, or like Mulch when he had been told to lie on his stomach during an arrest.

"Oh, sure then, it is confirmed. Shall I continue to talk like a computer now, shall I?"

"Sure. You'll probably manage it too, since you're so superior." Artemis smirked.

Holly couldn't help smiling. It was annoying when you were the one being annoyed by Artemis, but it was another thing to be the one watching Artemis annoy someone. The black eyes were now cold, but so were Artemis' blue ones. She stared at the two. More specifically though, she stared at Artemis. He had his don't-try-to-prove-me-wrong stance, and the blob… was just a blob. The black eyes flickered to her for a moment. Then it spoke again.

"You do know, elf, you are the first fairy in the entire history to ever fall in love with a Mud Man that the fairy population at large still thinks of as an enemy. Actually, Mud Boy; he's about one-fifth your age you know. Compared to human status, you should be extremely wrinkly and have white hair right about now and sitting in your rocking chair, not parading about with public enemy number one in such a daring adventure."

"I am not in love with him." She muttered, too shocked by what it had said to react normally. Artemis turned his head slightly at her murmured words, but he didn't seem to make out what they were. Alternatively, perhaps that he thought he was being delusional.

"Course you are. I can tell, especially the way you two are always fighting. Then he'll say something, you'll stop, and you two gaze at each other for about an eternity. Romantic, don't you think?" Rafiki said.

Holly gaped. She turned quickly to gauge Artemis' reaction to these words, but he was still staring at the blob, his expression blank as ever, arms still crossed. Holly was confused, but the blob spoke again.

"Honestly fairy, you are so thick."

"Excuse me!"

Artemis turned to look at her, his blank expression flickering. Holly quickly conjured up a very complex story.

"I wasn't talking to you."

"I do hope that you're not about to go deranged on me Holly." Artemis commented lightly, the corners of his lips tilting upwards.

Holly opened her mouth to snap back, but the voice spoke.

"Here you two go again."

Artemis didn't seem to hear.

You're using telepathy, aren't you? Holly thought.

"Oh, you're very good, aren't you? So quick on the uptake…" Rafiki said sarcastically.

You get better at showing your emotions every second. It's so nice to see that you're opening up, Rafiki, Holly thought, equally sarcastic.

Artemis on the other hand, had no idea that Rafiki was conversing with Holly, even though his own mind was now filled with Rafiki's monotone voice.

"So, Mud Boy, what do you really think of the Captain over here?"

If you're more superior to a fairy, it means you're not a fairy, so why are you still calling me Mud Boy? Artemis thought, irritated.

"Because, I think it's a title you deserve more than human."

Oh, that's nice, he thought.

"No, I am not nice, especially towards mud like you. I am merely stating the truth, and you know it. You feel like that too, especially around this Miss here showing you what an honorable person would do."

You have no idea what you're on about. Artemis thought coldly.

"Of course I do. That's why I call myself superior. I can analyze people even without seeing their thoughts."

Well, good for you. Call yourself anything you want you'll still be blob to me. Artemis thought snidely.

"See, this is why I call you mud. That fairy over there isn't calling me names. She's actually talking to me about my emotions. Now, isn't that nice?"

Yeah, that's Holly all right. Artemis thought dryly. Talking emotions to a blob… She was out of her mind.

At that moment, Rafiki withdrew.

"You both are quite interesting." Rafiki commented.

Artemis glowered. Holly saw his face and knew that Rafiki had been talking… ah, thinking to Artemis as well. The sour expression on the Mud Boy's face lifted her mood by quite a lot. She was quiet though, trying not to think about what Rafiki had just said to her. She did not even like Fowl, much less love him! It didn't matter how superior Rafiki said he was; he was wrong about that. Holly knew that she didn't love him. She knew her emotions, and when she thought about Fowl, 'love' wasn't even in sight on the list. 'Like' was slowly making its way there. Rafiki was just insane…

"Holly?"

She snapped out of her thoughts, and found Artemis staring at her, a rather cautious expression on his face, but his eyes were amused.

"What?"

"Are you sure that you haven't signed up for any psychiatrist sessions lately?"

"You know very well that I don't need them." She snapped.

Artemis still stared at her, and she felt herself growing oddly embarrassed under his blue gaze. Rafiki spoke up.

"Hem, hem. Are you two quite done there?"

Artemis jerked, turned his eyes away. Holly did so too, but a light blush appeared on her cheeks. Artemis appeared as indifferent as ever, but he was a little shaken inside.

What was that?

"You are discovering the power of emotions." Rafiki told him tonelessly.

Artemis looked up, outraged, but saw that Holly wasn't even looking at him. That was okay then. He fumed quietly.

"Oh, this is funny. Artemis Fowl, cold, pitiless Artemis Fowl, is falling in love!"

"No I'm not." Artemis snapped.

This time Holly looked at him. "I don't think that it's me that needs those psychiatrist sessions." She jibed.

Artemis scowled. "So, Rafiki, what do you want with us?"

"I want you two to rescue the world, once again. You do it so well." Rafiki said cheerfully.

Holly didn't like the sound of this. "What do you mean, rescue the world?" she replied, her voice brittle.

"Well, perhaps not his world." Rafiki said, tilting his (or its?) eyes at Artemis. "More yours,"

Holly was in shock. Artemis took over the interrogation. "Why only hers and not mine?"

The black eyes turned to Artemis. "You sound like you'd like to wipe out your race, Mud Boy."

"I don't. I need to clarify why Holly's world and not mine too."

Holly thought she heard a protective note in his voice, but she got rid of that thought quickly. Artemis, protective? No way.

"Well, I don't think that I want to give you that piece of information right now." Rafiki said briskly. "I'd rather you start perspiring over the fact that the fate of – Holly, did you say? – Holly's world."

Holly wasn't exactly perspiring, but she was more than a little worried. Artemis turned his nose up at the word. He never perspired. The only time was when Juliet and Butler ganged up on him, forcing him onto one of those… treadmills. Those stupid things fall apart so easily, Artemis thought critically. On the other hand, maybe it was because Butler was attempting a sprint on it…

"Now, as you both know, the infamous Julius Root is missing. I happen to know where he is- "

"Yeah, maybe because you were the one to make him go missing," Holly hissed.

"– And if I were a nice person -"

"Yeah, sure, you're a person. A very nice one, too," Artemis muttered. His voice was layered with sarcasm.

"– I would tell you where he is right now -"

"Because that would be so nice of you, wouldn't it? Kidnapping him and then give him back again. Sure, I'll consider you doing that." Holly griped.

"– but since you two are uttering insults at me with every sentence I speak, I'd rather you do something for me first."

"Are you done now? I'm going to be late for a check in." Artemis said in a bored tone.

"No I am not finished." Rafiki snapped. "You two are going to go through a series of places, and when you complete the tasks I set you then I may tell you where Commander Root is."

"What tasks?"

"Wait, Holly. I'm not going on some psychotic game if we may get Root back. It's a yes or no, not maybe, not perhaps." Artemis scowled.

"Very good Mud Boy. You're lucky that Artemis was here to help you, fairy." If the blob had a mouth, Artemis would've sworn he was smirking.

Holly didn't reply. Her face darkened. Artemis smothered a smirk himself. Then Rafiki spoke.

"I swear that if you complete my tasks then I will reveal Root's location to you."

Holly had started to nod her head, but Artemis still shook his head. "Please be more precise. You will give Root back to us, not show us his location. The Commander must also be in perfect condition, original, alive, and not harmed or altered in any way."

Rafiki evidently scowled. "Quite precise, aren't you Mud Boy?"

Artemis knew by that that he had covered everything.

"What do you mean 'original'?" Holly asked.

"Well, cloning technology hasn't developed much on earth and below it, but I'm guessing that Rafiki here is so superior, that we may have been given a duplicate. Or even worse, perhaps even an imposter." Artemis said, his voice growing smugger as he watched the black eyes glitter darkly.

"So, Rafiki, do you swear that we will get Root back? Under all my conditions?"

"I swear that you will get Root back, under all your stupid conditions." The monotone voice said, but Artemis detected a faint edge of frustration.

"Fantastic." Holly said, feeling a bit left out. "Now what?"

"You begin."

"But you haven't told us what we are to do!" Artemis protested.

Holly swore those eyes were smiling at her. "Well that's too bad then."

The world around them blurred, like swirling paint, and Holly felt a sudden wild wind begin tearing at her elfin frame.

"Artemis!"

The wind snatched at her words, but Artemis heard them. He was human enough to feel surprised at Holly's panicky voice, but he called back without commenting.

"I'm here Holly, right here…"

Artemis tried to sound calm. Holly sounded a bit too stressed to take on that particular role right now. Then the corners of Artemis' eyes were going black. Their surroundings were now bleak; swirling so fast that it seemed like a total grey. The black bits at the edges of his sight grew, but Artemis reached out blindly.

Holly was having a lot more trouble standing upright, her frame being smaller than Artemis' was. She thought about being blown away. She tried pushing down her rising panic. She drew in air with ragged breaths.

"Artemis! Where are you?"

Artemis was now genuinely surprised especially when he started to panic at her voice. Holly sounded like she was pleading. Artemis stumbled as he tried to take a step, so he decided to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground. Well, as firm as he could manage. Holly wasn't standing that far away from him, surely?

"Right here Holly, calm down!" The words might've been soothing if he weren't shouting them.

Calm? Holly thought hysterically. She was about to be lifted off her bloody feet and he wanted her to be calm? He had to be kidding. She tried moving her feet, but as soon as the sole of her foot rose an inch, she felt herself fluttering into the wind. That wasn't a good idea. She tried shuffling her feet. Slow progress, but she stayed earthbound. Just as the wind picked up, she felt another pair of hands reaching for her. This better be that Mud Boy, she thought grimly, holding on tightly. The wind buffeted her, and Holly felt her legs give way as she got pushed sideways, hitting someone. She saw the navy blue material. Her last thought was 'So it is Artemis' before her mind shut down.

---

The wind picked up, and Artemis felt himself growing faint. It was getting harder to draw breath. His hands were still held in mid air and starting to feel stiff, but the blackness was now covering his sight. Artemis thought he felt a pair of hands wrap themselves around his own, he thought he saw and a flash of auburn, but the next minute he felt nothing.

------------------------------------------------------------

Limbo, Nowhere

When Artemis came to, he felt a thudding pain in his head. It was like a particularly rough headache, only this time it was more persistent and he didn't have any medicine nearby to soothe the pain. He glanced around blearily. It seemed like that they were in some kind of hut. Clay walls, crumbling, dirt floor, straw roof, and one bed with a patchwork quilt that already had many holes in it and about ten centimeters from the floor. A wooden table crudely crafted, with a little mirror on a stand and a wax candle that had about a five-minute's use left and a little wooden stool that probably Holly wouldn't even be able to sit on comfortably. Artemis tried moving, but pain shot up his arm.

"Ow."

Artemis tried moving his body without the use of his arm. That wasn't too easy either. His watering eyes fell on the still unconscious form of Holly, lying across his lap and effectively pinning him down. Unless he wanted to move her of course… Artemis blinked the water out of his eyes, raising one hand.

"Holly. Holly, are you okay?"

Nothing... Her heart was beating, breathing even. She just wasn't opening her eyes. If Artemis didn't know better, he'd think that she was sleeping. Her eyes moved under her eyelids. Dreaming too, he thought dryly. He let his hand fall, and it slid through her hair. He had never realized how long it had grown. The fast fading sunlight touched it, beams of orange and pink highlighting the dust motes in the air, sending soft streaks of yellow through the auburn locks. She looked so peaceful… Then her eyes snapped open.

"What?"

Holly sat bolt upright, and unfortunately, Artemis' head was still bent over her. No need to say, it was quickly withdrawn. Holly looked up into Artemis' eyes, that were watering again, and he had a disgruntled expression on his face.

"You know Holly, you generally don't hurt people when you're pinning them down at the same time."

Holly looked down. She was still sitting in his lap. The normal Holly would've leapt out immediately, and perhaps she would even punched him to make herself feel better, but the current Holly tried leaping and immediately felt light headed again. She prevented herself from falling over by flopping onto the small bed, which moaned, even under her slight weight.

"What was that!" she groaned, rotating her shoulders.

Artemis shrugged, even though Holly was staring at the ceiling and she wouldn't see the gesture. He got gingerly to his feet, knowing that he wasn't about to try any leaping anytime soon. He just happened to look out the window. His mind tried and rejected any logical explanation to what he was seeing. Holly's voice shook him out of his sudden confusion.

"So?"

"So what?" Artemis said bitterly. He tore his eyes away from the window and eyed the chair apprehensively. It looked barely stable enough to hold up a pillow, much less an actual person.

Holly looked up from her position. "So, genius, where are we?"

"Take a look." Artemis said in a patronizing voice, waving his hand at the window.

"What's wrong with you telling me?"

"Because you'll assume that I'm lying."

"And you know that because…"

"You know Holly, if you went to see what was out the window, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

Holly glared at him, before getting to her feet and hobbling over to the window. That Rafiki never mentioned actual bodily harm… However, all thought of harm flew out the window (not literally) when Holly saw what was outside.

Actually, what she didn't see outside.

"Yes, I thought so too." Artemis drawled. "I mean, if we're going to be placed in limbo, why does it have to be this uncomfortable? I doubt that I have anywhere to sit but the floor. For all his superiority Rafiki does not know the meaning of comfort."

"And comfort is so important, isn't it," Holly said, her voice controlled, but still an octave higher, "When you're floating in mid air?"

"Well, Rafiki might've thought that we wanted to know how he feels when he floats in mid air." Artemis said, his tone still bored.

Holly squinted at him. "You seem extremely calm, Mud Boy."

Artemis shrugged, sitting back down on the floor. "Well, what's there to gain from throwing a fit? No thanks, I'd rather keep my head in times like these."

Holly crossed her arms; her eyes gazed out the window. It was as beautiful as it was scary. It was like the night sky, almost like they were floating in space. It was just blackness, total blackness, but with millions of small lights, twinkling, so close that you think that you can touch it but every time you step forwards the light steps back. It felt like being inside a rainbow. All these lights surrounded you, but none of them were touchable. Multi coloured, each one winked at her when she laid eyes on them for more than five seconds. Holly reached out a hand, but of course, felt nothing. She turned back to Artemis, who was watching her carefully.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Artemis turned away, and went to light the candle on the table without burning the table itself. He was thinking that how different Holly looked. Yes, she was still in her LEP uniform, but she looked like a little child just then, discovering the wonders of a new toy that had capabilities beyond her wildest imagination. All the florescent lights twinkling around her like a million fireworks that refused to go out, what little light there was reflecting in her hazel eyes. If Holly really were a child, he would probably say it looked 'cute'. However, Holly, being her age, she just looked… magical. Artemis shook these thoughts out of his mind.

"So, Rafiki, what do you want with us?" he called out.

Holly spun around. "What? Where is he?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "Well, don't you think that since he was the one that placed us in… this, he would be able to hear us?"

Holly didn't reply. Her eyes widened. Artemis turned to see what she was looking at. The mirror was fogging up, and words were slowly being traced onto it. He rolled his eyes. He guessed that Rafiki had seen one too many human movies and it was going to his head.

"You know, speech would be a lot quicker, seeing how small that mirror is." He commented.

Nevertheless, the words didn't stop, even though Artemis saw the writing hesitate a little. He smirked, but read it anyway.

Fairy and Mud Boy…

Since you both seem to have given up fighting each other, I have decided to set you your task. There was one thing that I forgot to mention, and that was how long that my tasks were going to take.

Artemis groaned. Holly would've been happy if it didn't mean that she would probably be stuck in limbo for eternity.

However, the rules say that I must play fair. So I will give you each seven tasks, the next one will be revealed to you as soon as you succeed the first. However, if you fail and you are still not dead, you will have to stay here forever. It's a pretty good offer, since if you didn't accept you'd be dead anyway. So, first task. I would like you to get me a pea. You have three wishes that you can use for all seven tasks. If I were you, I'd choose carefully…

Artemis shook his head. Three wishes? It should at least be seven. However, it was hard to argue with someone that you couldn't see. He thought about it. What would be needed? Also, the slightly less analytic part of his mind was amazed that someone could fit so much writing in such a small space.

"Must we use all our wishes now? Are they rule-free wishes? Is it three each or three to share between us?" He asked the room at random.

The mirror fogged up again.

Yes, three rules free wishes for each of you. Rule free and you must use them all now.

Artemis smirked. All he needed to know was if it was rule free. He saw Holly thinking deeply. He already knew what he was going to wish for.

Holly on the other hand, was wondering exactly what she should wish for. She didn't even know the tasks set ahead for her.

"What kind of tasks will we face?" she asked.

I cannot tell you that.

Holly scowled. Then Artemis spoke up.

"I suggest that you wish for a human appearance."

"What, and stay that way forever? No thanks." She snapped.

Artemis stared at her. "I have an idea."

Holly didn't want to, but she couldn't help but believe him. She bit her lip, but nodded. Well, that was one wish. How about the other two though? She'd need Foaly's gadgets, that's for sure. That was two. One more then… An unlimited, and an inconspicuous supply of acorns. She smirked. There was no way that she'd be going anywhere without her magic.

"Okay, I have three."

Artemis turned to the mirror.

Speak it out loud.

Artemis gestured to Holly that she should start first. Holly tried to make her speech sound loophole proof.

"One, I wish for an attractive human form." She smirked at Artemis. "Two, I wish for my choice of all of Foaly's gadgets, and they work properly. Three, I wish for an unlimited, and an inconspicuous supply of acorns."

So be it.

About ten dozen small pockets appeared, each one carrying an acorn shaped bulge. Also, a wide selection of Foaly's gadgets beeped, whirred and hummed. Artemis then turned his head, and stared at the rapidly transforming Holly. First, her skin grew paler, until she had a creamy complexion. Her hair grew longer, sleeker, and she grew larger in general, and about Artemis' size. Holly smiled at her reflection, but she walked across the room and placed her hand over the burning candle. Artemis stared, but saw the blue sparks playing across her now human sized hand.

"Just a test." She murmured. Her voice didn't change, at least.

Artemis cleared his throat, his stare replaced with an even wider smirk on his face. Holly peered at him suspiciously. The Mud Boy had something planned, all right.

"One. I wish for us to go into each new task completely refreshed and healthy and whole." Holly looked at him, stunned. He'd actually thought of their wellbeing? "Two. I wish that I can use my wishes whenever I want, even during the tasks, and when we get back to the real world."

Clever, Holly thought. But then again, when wasn't he? She also noted that he had said when, not if.

"Three, I wish for ten more wishes."

There was silence for a whole minute. Holly stared at the mirror. She was scared that his wishes would be rejected, but also hopeful, because then they'd have no trouble with the tasks whatsoever if he was able to make those wishes. When the writing came, it was jagged.

So be it.

Artemis smirked. Holly laughed, finally feeling as if something was going right that day. Well, being trapped in limbo wasn't exactly her idea of a good day, but if Artemis had ten extra wishes and could also wish for more anytime he wanted, it wouldn't turn out that bad. She walked over to the pile of beeping machines, and started strapping things on, and threw a couple of things at Artemis, who caught them. Barely.

Holly looked at Artemis, who, in return was looking at her. She tried to hide her smile. "So, shows to see that you can do at least one thing right, doesn't it?" she jibed.

"Only one thing?" he protested, strapping the something that looked like a bracelet on his arm.

"Well, if you're expecting more praise then don't hold your breath."

At that, Artemis actually smiled. Not the I-just-outsmarted-you-and-I'm-going-to-take-over-the-world smile, but the smile that Holly never knew he was capable of doing. A more kind of we'll-get-through-this smile. Hmm. It just goes to show that you actually do learn something new everyday.

Suddenly, a door appeared. Artemis and Holly both turned to the mirror. It said two words.

Good luck.

Holly went, reaching out for the doorknob. She opened it and a blaring white light exploded, blinding them both effectively. Artemis reflexively shot up his hands to protect his eyes from the glare, and another wind shot through the door. What is it with that thing and wind? Artemis thought resentfully, before he was dragged out of the door as easily as if the wind had hands and Butler's strength. The last feeling he had was of leaping into nothingness, with Holly at his side.

------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Weee! Plot is starting:) You'll probably notice as well that I'm writing about Artemis… older than an 16-year-old-Artemis would act.I just think that him being a little older right now will suit the story. So he is now officially 17 :-P let's just say he spent his 17th birthday unconcious in limbo. LoL.

Please review, I'll post faster if you do ;) Next chapter up when I get reviews… -evil laugh-

xx Athemia