12. Epilogue

--

"Hiei," Kurama said quietly.

"Hn," Hiei grunted in acknowledgement. He looked sidelong at Kurama.

After safely crossing the lake and re-entering Ningenkai, Kurama had woken up in Hiei's arms. Hiei had torn up his cloak to use the strips of fabric as bandages, so that he could carry Kurama even though his hands were still bleeding. Despite the comfort of traveling in the cradle of Hiei's arms, Kurama had insisted on walking himself, out of concern for Hiei's injuries. Then, for about twenty minutes on the road to Kurama's house, they traveled in companionable silence.

Kurama's mind had been so full that he hadn't known what to say first, and he was weighed down by exhaustion despite his nap during their trip across Makai. For Hiei's part, fatigue only increased his usual taciturnity, and he felt that anything he might have to say would pale in comparison to whatever Kurama chose to share—which he was eager to hear. At the same time, he would not badger Kurama with questions or conversation so soon after what had passed.

Now, however, Kurama seemed to want—and even need—to talk.

"Thank you for being so tireless in your efforts to find me. I heard rumors of what you had to do to track us down, and I'm sure there is much more that I don't know about."

Kurama was obliquely referring to the deaths of those who had stood in Hiei's way. While he didn't quite mourn Takeo and Takara, or the others, they had been (for the most part) innocent bystanders. He could not shake off the thought that they needn't have died if Karasu had not entangled them in his wretched attempts to manifest an absurd fantasy.

"I'm guessing that you suffered more than I did, helpless though I was in Karasu's clutches."

Kurama's self-deprecating grin evinced a miraculous capacity for recovery. His ability to joke about a predicament which had almost cost him his memory and his free will, only two hours after escaping, inspired tremendous hope in Hiei—as much as had the sight of his giant strawberries, the first sign of Kurama's returning ki.

"Don't argue," Kurama said in a mock-stern voice, holding his hand up when Hiei opened his mouth.

Hiei remembered his own helplessness in the face of Yusuke and Kuwabara's murders, and wondered if the horror of that experience could really be compared to being raped by Karasu. Still, he would not dispute it with Kurama.

"I won't ever forget your perseverance or your gallantry."

A smile ghosted over Kurama's lips again, and Hiei recalled bitterly how he had vowed to never let Kurama forget that he'd had to "rescue him like a knight storming the locked tower of some feckless princess."

The smile rapidly fading, Kurama continued, "I'm sorry that I interfered so much back there, on Bui's behalf. I didn't mean to get in your way, when you'd come so far…"

"No," Hiei said quickly. "You said Bui had been good to you. I'm sure that—that is, if you ever feel like it—I'd like to know what he did for you."

Kurama recognized Hiei's implicit request for the details of his captivity, and he didn't mind; he was equally keen on hearing Hiei's side to the story. Hiei's stumbling speech was a sound foreign to his ears, and he correctly interpreted his uncharacteristic faltering as delicacy and restraint.

To show Hiei that he didn't need to be treated like glass, that Karasu hadn't broken him, he said without hesitating, "You'll hear everything that happened to me after the Dark Tournament when we talk to the girls; we should meet them tomorrow. And if I choose to withhold anything from them—I'll tell you the rest in private."

This proof of confidence honored Hiei more than he could say, and he blustered loudly, "I just wanted to know if I was wrong to leave them alive. If you tell me something that proves my leniency was a mistake, I'll go back and finish them off!"

Kurama laughed softly, easily seeing through Hiei's false bravado to the embarrassment that he was trying to cover. "No. It's over. This whole incident… is something that I'd like to leave behind as soon as possible."

A silence fell as they continued walking, and Hiei hated to break it to contradict him, though he knew that Kurama's wish would be impossible to fulfill until they took care of unfinished business. He certainly didn't want to dwell on the past few weeks obsessively, especially for Kurama's sake, but they couldn't forget.

"It's not done yet."

"What do you mean?"

"We need to track down Toguro and avenge Yusuke and Kuwabara."

Kurama inhaled sharply. Hiei held his own breath, watching Kurama closely.

"Yes," Kurama agreed heavily. "I didn't mean to forget them," he murmured, almost to himself.

Hiei winced. Guilt was a debilitating emotion, and he had enough for the both of them without Kurama wallowing in his own cesspool of it as well.

"Yusuke came to me in my dreams," said Kurama. "To tell me you were coming."

"Kuwabara came to me." Hiei scowled, not without affection. "Bastard mocked me about Yukina and—and other things," he finished lamely.

Kurama grinned slightly, shaking off the melancholy that guilt had thrown over him. The discovery that Kuwabara had teased Hiei over the same thing that Yusuke had him lightened Kurama's heart considerably.

"Well, Yusuke wasn't the most comforting dream visitor either—although I'm willing to concede that his taunts about us probably weren't as cutting as Kuwabara's. And some of what Yusuke said was reassuring."

Hiei reddened faintly at the word "us" as he came to the same revelation Kurama had just arrived at. Kurama tried to keep his grin from growing wider.

"At any rate, you're right. Toguro—and perhaps Mukuro and Shigure also—they all have a bit of well-deserved revenge coming to them. And we should talk to Koenma about the possibility of arranging resurrections for Yusuke and Kuwabara." Kurama gave a little sigh, out of tiredness rather than despair, and rubbed his eyes.

Hiei was about to say that he had incinerated Kuwabara's body, and Yusuke's corpse was equally unlikely to be fit to house his soul again. But he thought better of it. They would be able to find a way around this obstacle, he was sure. Better not to make Kurama worry unnecessarily.

"We can speak of this later," he urged, simultaneously worried for Kurama's health and pleased by his can-do attitude. "You're tired." And so am I, he added mentally. "I'll go contact Yukina, Keiko, and the other girls after we get to your house."

Kurama nodded to show that he had heard. A part of him was still fixed on what Yusuke and Kuwabara had said to him and Hiei in their dreams. He decided that now was as good a time as any to speak to him directly. He stopped walking, and turned to face Hiei.

"Hiei, before we get there..."

Hiei halted as well, and looked up at him.

"Yes?"

Night was falling, and the setting sun's rays cast his face into a chiaroscuro of light and shadow that was difficult to read. But Kurama thought he could see hopeful anticipation in Hiei's eyes, and he prayed that his own desire wasn't misleading him.

"Yes" instead of "hn" was reassuring, at any rate.

"I don't know exactly what Kuwabara told you," Kurama started, "but if it was along the same lines as what Yusuke said to me—"

Hiei took a deep breath. This was it. He leaned close and raised his finger to Kurama's lips in a shushing gesture.

"Don't disillusion me. I ate up every word that fool said and he's probably laughing at me right now."

A brilliant, lopsided smile broke out across Kurama's face, one which Hiei matched after what Kurama said next:

"No… every word of it was true."

His heart swelling, Kurama wrapped his hands around Hiei's and drew it away from his mouth. He clasped it in midair for a second, then brought it back to his lips to brush the lightest of kisses over Hiei's knuckles.

"Thank you," he said for the second time that evening. What he was thanking Hiei for, he wasn't quite sure. It might have been simply for the reciprocation of his feelings, or for the entire precious gift of his presence in Kurama's life.

Hiei didn't offer a response; he was too busy trying to smother his wild elation, which was threatening to express itself in a very unseemly fashion for someone with the self-control that he'd cultivated.

But when they reached Kurama's house, in the moment between Kurama ringing the bell and Shiori opening the door, Hiei pulled Kurama down and gave him his "you're welcome" on the lips. They shared a brief but significant parting smile, and Hiei darted away to find the girls, but not without first whispering his assurance that he would be back that night to check on Kurama.

When Shiori found her son on the doorstep, finally back from his "biotechnology seminar," she thought him not quite the same boy who had left several weeks ago. Her maternal instincts, which had long before told her that Shuiichi was different in a way she didn't understand detected the difference now emanating from him in tidal waves. He looked a little pale and rattled, as if he somehow was not whole at the moment, but the way he was smiling indicated that he would be soon. As she had always done, Shiori ignored his difference and embraced him tightly, telling him how happy she was now that he had come home.

Kurama was absolutely sincere in saying "I'm happy to be back, Mother," when he returned the hug with equal feeling. Shiori was the one person he would have wanted to see immediately after Hiei, and the affections of two of the people he loved most were the most potent remedies for the ills he had suffered, whether he knew it or not.

Kurama couldn't be blamed if, while Shiori continued to cluck over him, his thoughts wandered once or twice to the prospect of seeing Hiei again that night. After all, Shiori did not know what Kurama had undergone. Hiei was the only one who could really understand his current frame of mind, and whom Kurama could discuss his experiences with—not that he wanted to, right now. Their stories could wait; he anticipated happier conversation tonight.

Kurama might not ever truly forget Karasu, but for the time being, Shiori and Hiei had effectively wiped the crow from his mind. At the same time, a world away, Bui was distracting Karasu from his pain by single-handedly nursing him with a tender instinct like a mother's, and protecting him with an ardent jealousy very like a lover's: what Shiori and Hiei combined were doing for Kurama.

"Bui," Karasu murmured weakly as the other mopped up what was left of his wounds. Shigure had agreed to heal the worst of Karasu's injuries before leaving to report to Mukuro, and after a night's rest, Karasu would be fit to travel back to his primary house (the only one Kurama had seen). But his physical pain, even at its height, had been nothing to his inner turmoil.

"Yes?" replied Bui, intently wiping dried blood from Karasu's cheek with a wet cloth. He wished that Karasu wouldn't talk; he was only going to get worked up and tire himself even more. If he wanted to talk, though, let him: Bui could not deny Karasu anything when he was in this condition.

"I made a series of spectacularly bad decisions where Kurama was concerned. I wasn't thinking clearly." Karasu touched Bui's wrist lightly. "And I did this without any thought for you, while you… thought of everything."

Karasu never said sorry or expressed gratitude directly, but that little speech served as both an apology and a thank you. Bui required nothing more. He forgave Karasu instantly, and saw no reason to discuss Kurama any further. Though Bui would always tread sensitively around this topic when it resurfaced (and he was sure it would: Karasu had invested too much into the damned kitsune to ever fully recover) the entire fiasco was a closed chapter as far as he was concerned. His wonderfully practical mind was already looking ahead. He realized that work would be the best healer for Karasu's ills.

"You needn't think of me. Think of the Shikaku. We may have missed a crucial part of the fighting for the head position, but I am confident that you can depose whoever is currently in power with ease. You must have been Hiroshi-sama's first choice of a successor, but he was probably forced to choose Takeo when we were pressed into Toguro's service. Now, though… you are free to take what is rightfully yours and restore order." He gently removed his arm from Karasu's touch, and wrung out the blood-stained cloth over a bowl of water.

Karasu smiled wanly. He hadn't thought of the Shikaku in such a long time. Another one of the many sacrifices he had futilely made for Kurama.

"I know I can accomplish all of that with you at my side. I'm not worried."

Bui bowed his head. A moment of silence and perfect understanding hung between them.

Back in Ningenkai, Kurama smiled brilliantly at his mother as they finished dinner together. She had asked him interested questions about the purported seminar, and he had replied with elaborate lies, but their actual conversation was clearly less important to either of them than the simple joy of being in each other's presence again.

"I won't keep you up any longer," Shiori said. "You must be tired, Shuiichi. Wash up and go to bed."

"I would like to rest," Kurama admitted. He rose and kissed his mother on the cheek. "Goodnight, Mother. I'll see you tomorrow."

Of course you will, you aren't going anywhere, she thought. And she wanted to deny him permission to go on any more "biotech seminars" which were mysteriously extended and never allowed her to contact Shuiichi. She may not have known how close she had come to losing her son forever, but a mother's instinct always senses such dangers. Still, she knew, with a pang in her heart, that she would not say no the next time Shuiichi came to her speaking of a field trip. Nevertheless, no matter what other strange camps or seminars arose in the future, she was content that this time, he had come home safe.

Kurama went upstairs, and sensed a familiar ki waiting for him in his room. Smiling, he opened the door.

"Hello, Hiei."

"Hn." Hiei scrutinized him, satisfied that Shiori had done a world of good for Kurama in a relatively short time. He returned Kurama's smile from his seat on the windowsill. Kurama took a seat on the bed.

They talked about Hiei's meeting with the girls at first, but they soon digressed onto other topics—the happier conversation that Kurama had anticipated. He hadn't expected a goodnight kiss, though. The only thing that made him happier than the kiss itself was the fact that the horrid goodnight routines of the past few weeks had not turned him off the act of kissing.

Somewhere inside Kurama's mind, Youko laughed. You are resilient, my little human half.

We're going be just fine.

--

For the first time, Karasu and Kurama were perfectly aligned in spirit. Both were vulnerable and battered, and neither would ever forget the other. But at the moment, they were enjoying a temporary exorcism of each other's ghost, thanks to their respective caretakers.

And for now—no matter how short the respite—they were content.

--

A/N: Whew! This is the longest fic that I've ever written, and it's dedicated to Funara, whose lovely story Opium Dream is dedicated in turn to me.

Certain chapter titles were nicked from T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men." The story title itself was taken from one of my favorite poems, reproduced below in its entirety.

"Blessing the Boats" by Lucille Clifton

(at St. Mary's)

may the tide
that is entering even now
the lip of our understanding
carry you out
beyond the face of fear
may you kiss
the wind then turn from it
certain that it will
love your back may you
open your eyes to water
water waving forever
and may you in your innocence
sail through this to that

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! Even if I haven't made many KxK converts, I hope that at least some of you see Bui in a new light. He is the character that I admire the most in the entire story.

I didn't quite realize how much this ending set up for a sequel until after I wrote it, but I've already got plenty of ideas. Mukuro and Toguro must be taken care of, as do the sadly neglected Yusuke and Kuwabara, and I'd like to explore Karasu and Bui's return to the Shikaku. Unfortunately, I don't have enough time right now to write a sequel. But that doesn't mean I won't eventually, especially as I'm having a hard time letting this story go. I'd dearly love to write Karasu again.

Till next time!