Author's Note: Not much to say here, I guess. Enjoy the read.
Disclaimer: Same as always.
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"Make haste Faramir!" Pippin ordered and hurried through the streets of Minas Tirith with Faramir running to keep up with his pace.
Faramir stared with wide eyes at the city around him. It was huge, the buildings were so tall, the people were tall as well and everything seemed all in all large. It smelled differently, the white color was new to him and the whole place was frightening. It made him sick to his stomach that they were going so high up, he could feel his vertigo affecting him and he wished they would stop soon. He was exhausted from running up these hills, but his father didn't seem affected. Pippin was heading with determination to some specific place and Faramir prayed it would be on one of the lower levels of the city.
Pippin however marched through every city gate and eventually brought them to a grassy area in front of a large citadel. The height made Faramir nauseous; he kept his eyes away from the view of Gondor. He gasped when he noticed a white tree standing on the courtyard, he had heard about that tree when he was younger. It was incredible to see it in real life, to know that it actually existed. In the midst of his confusion and longing to be someplace else Faramir felt like part of a fairy tale was coming to life.
When they went up the stairs to the door the guards nodded a greeting to Pippin. Pippin took the time to stop and nod back and Faramir ceased the opportunity to catch his breath. How his seventy-something year-old father could keep that pace in uphill and not lose his breath was beyond him.
"We're going in to see the king" Pippin told him. "Speak when spoken to."
They went inside and Faramir experienced the large room the way his father had for the first time, so many years ago. He was overwhelmed, and somewhat frightened, by the massive statues, the large pillars, the grandeur of the hall. Pippin wandered through the hall as if he'd never done anything else his whole life and stopped to kneel before the thrones. Faramir followed his father's example.
"You are here!" Aragorn said. "At last! Rise Peregrin son of Paladin, and Faramir son of Peregrin."
Faramir took a good look at the king as he rose again. It was a very noble man, with a grey beard and a face that could be fifty, seventy or a hundred. He was clad in the finest clothes Faramir had ever seen and wore a golden grown on his head. The other two thrones in the room were empty, one usually occupied by the queen and the other by the prince.
"I am here to deliver Faramir son of Peregrin in your service, my lord" Pippin said.
"Very well" Aragorn said. "If he has got half the endurance of his father we shall have much use for him."
"I also deliver him to you, Elessar King, as a student to learn from a master. This lad needs schooling."
The formulation sounded offending to Faramir's ears. He had schooling, he could read and write and recite Hobbit history. He wasn't keen on getting any human schooling, what use would a Hobbit have for something like that?
"He will be in good hands" Aragorn said and rose from his throne. "You must be weary and hungry from your journey. Come."
Faramir had to run again to keep up with the other two. He could tell he would be well exercised on this trip. Then again this wasn't the first time he ran to a meal. He hoped he would like human cooking but at the time being he was not too picky. Anything edible would be wolfed down at this point, he had not had a meal for several hours.
XX
XX
"You will be serving Elessar King not as a Guard of the Citadel like I do, but simply do whatever he tells you to do" Pippin informed Faramir later that night when they were getting ready to go to bed. "Do everything he asks you to do, tell him everything he asks you to, say everything he tells you to. Listen carefully and pay close attention when he holds lessons with you. Aside from the specific schooling I've asked him to further educate you in math and in the art of combat."
"Why would I need to know the art of combat?"
"What would you do if Tuckburough was attacked and you had no combat training? Your grandfather had none, look what happened when he was Thain! What little you've learned from the shriffs is not enough, you should be teaching them not the other way around. Now when you are serving the king you will not be wearing your normal clothes, pay your proper respects to the king by dressing properly. A more formal set of clothes have been prepared for you, they are in the chest over by the wall there. Do not address the king common, and do absolutely not address the queen so!"
Faramir turned his head back to overlook the view, trying to slowly get used to it, while his father went on. He hated being here. He felt lonely and frightened, Minas Tirith was so big and everybody was so formal and worldly. He didn't know a soul save for his father, who was anything but comforting. Faramir wondered if Pippin could be any colder towards him than right now, he never received a friendly word, only orders barked at him.
The view out the window made Faramir realize how small a Hobbit was and how secluded the Shire had been for all these years. The city was probably very pretty for being a city, but there was little grass, few trees, no animal life. The absence of these things made Faramir feel depressed. How anyone could want to live here was beyond him.
"And wipe that gloomy look off your face" Pippin said. "It is not very becoming to wallow in self pity. You think you're having it hard? This is a picnic compared to when I first arrived in Minas Tirith."
Faramir didn't bother to listen anymore. He longed to go back home, he had never known one could be so homesick. Far off in the northwest was the Shire. His mother was there, his friends, his aunts who had all been so sad to hear he was leaving. Even in January the Shire was a lot prettier than he could ever imagine this place being. And in the Shire there was Goldilocks. He had not seen a single head with curly hair since his arrival and the straight hair was odd to him and not very pretty. He longed for Goldilocks' golden curls.
Pippin toyed with the idea of joining Faramir by the window and telling him a story of his own first visit to Minas Tirith. But it was getting late and they had to get up early the morning before. He told Faramir to get into bed and then closed the curtains. They had seen enough of Gondor for one day.
XX
XX
"There are a lot of restrictions you want me to put on him" Aragorn noted the next day when he sat down with Pippin for a meeting concerning Faramir.
"I need someone to keep an eye on him, I do not trust his own judgment" Pippin said. "Let him have his spare time and explore the city, I wouldn't mind him getting to know it as well as I do, just keep his number of privileges down. He is not to receive any special treatments on account of being my son. Everything he gets he has to earn for himself. He is also to write letters only to me and his mother, nobody else. He is also not to receive letters from anyone but me or Diamond."
"I will keep that in mind."
"And if he mopes around, reprimand him. Hobbits normally don't frown for very long but he's been set on doing so lately. Keep him on a tight leash."
"Pippin…" Aragorn said gently. "Aren't you being a bit hard on him? He is young; he must be allowed to still act young. And make mistakes. You've always worshipped your son, why do you feel the need to act as coldly towards him now as you once showered him with affection?"
"He broke my heart, Aragorn" Pippin said. "Everything I believed him to be turned out to be a lie. Instead of joy and pride I feel only disappointment and shame when I look at him now. I am paying for the mistakes I've made in parenting, he is not going to get off the hook easily either. Besides, he is not here to have fun. He is here to learn."
"Don't push him too far away, you might regret it."
"I'd rather have him turn into someone he can be proud of, even if it means he never cares much for me again. He is out of my reach, he's not the boy I've always known, and I haven't sacrificed all that I have for him to be the kind of Hobbit he is now. You know what he did… Would you accept it if your son did that?"
"No" Aragorn admitted.
"Nobody has ever hurt me more than he" Pippin said. "I am not overreacting."
"What if he were to do the same thing again, even after spending time here?"
"Then I would disown him" Pippin said frankly. "There's a limit to what I can tolerate."
"As long as you are sure" Aragorn said. "You should be on your way. I will call upon my new recruit and make sure he is kept busy."
"Thank you Strider."
"If you cannot rely on your friends in times of trouble, get rid of those friends" Aragorn said and gave Pippin a hug. "Everything will be fine. I promise. When have I ever let you down before?"
XX
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Faramir wondered what had possessed his father to get to know this human better. Aragorn was grave, composed and hardly ever letting a smile cross his lips. He didn't seem to care much for Faramir, so far this morning he had been given a long lecture on Gondorian customs and how to behave in the city. Now he was striding off to the courtyard without giving much thought to Faramir's considerably shorter legs.
"I shall put you to proper work this afternoon" the king told him. "Now you must come see your father off."
"Where is he going?"
"Back to the Shire of course."
"Back to the Shire?" Faramir echoed.
They stepped outside and there was indeed Pippin, already up on his pony and with all his things packed. The shock was almost too much for Faramir, he had thought his father would be there with him all the way. In spite of his father's anger and coldness he was the only familiar thing Faramir had, and he was still a comfort. With him gone Faramir would be at the mercy of these tall figures who seemed to dislike him, probably well informed of what he had done to be sent here. He wanted his father's companionship more than anything right now.
"You're leaving?" was all he could manage to say.
"Of course I am. You didn't think I would be staying here the whole time, did you?"
It almost made Pippin weaken when he saw the look on Faramir's face. He sat down from his pony and gave Faramir a hug.
"You do as you're told now. There's no point in you being here to learn if I am here with you. Be good."
Then he gave Aragorn a hug and got up on his pony before he could start to wonder if he was doing the right thing. He jammed his heels into the pony's side, urgent to get out of Minas Tirith as soon as he could. When he began to ride Faramir turned on the spot and ran back into the palace.
"Faramir!" Aragorn cried and hurried after him.
It was surprisingly difficult to keep up with the running Hobbit. Faramir stopped by a window from where he could see his father riding across the plains, trying to keep him in sight for as long as he could. He felt a hand placed on his shoulder but didn't care if he was going to be reprimanded for running off the way he had.
"I'll make him care again, I swear" he said to no one in particular. "He is so angry with me… but I will make him proud of his son. I've done some bad things but someday he won't care about that! I will give him every reason not to. I will turn a corner no matter how hard. I'll make him proud of his lad. I will! I will just have to fight… but I'll do whatever it takes. I will work hard, I will have to, I wasn't born perfect as he was…"
His words surprised Aragorn. He had forgotten how outspoken Hobbits could be. And the last words had been said with true sincerity, Faramir had not been sarcastic.
"Peregrin is not perfect" he felt the need to object. "He has made mistakes, far more numbering and far worse than you know. It's what you learn from mistakes which defines whether or not you are worthy of respect. I have no doubt in my mind that you will make him proud; he so desperately wants to be proud of you again."
"He has turned his back at me" Faramir said. "Not even at this cold unfriendly place has he offered me any warmth or consideration."
"You are better off than he was when he first came here. He arrived together with a wizard, and wizards are not the comforting type. He had been pulled away from Merry, from me, from friends he had just been reunited with after a long parting. The only person he knew here was Gandalf, the wizard. He had a steward gone mad to serve, a war drawing near and shadows all around."
"At least he knew Uncle Merry would be glad to reunite with him" Faramir said. "As for my own best friend… I don't know that he will want to be my friend again when I return. I let him down too, just like everyone else."
Cordy had been furious to find out Faramir had kept such a secret for him, and on top of it all acted like he was romantically interested in Cordy's own sister. They had only had one chance to talk since August and Cordy had not made a secret out of that he felt hurt and betrayed.
"This whole thing has already made me grow up" Faramir said. "I used to think Cordy and I were like my father and Merry. Friends to the end, the kind you can't pull apart. Now I don't even know that we would speak if we met. It was not hard to drive a wedge between us. I've come to realize we were never like our fathers. We just wanted to be."
"Each person is defined in their own way" Aragorn said. "Pippin and Merry defined themselves through one another. That has been the base for their whole being, friendships like that don't come around often. Most friendships are wonderful and should be cherished, even though they're not like theirs. They have a bond that cannot be broken. Pippin shares a bond with you that cannot be broken either."
"I used to be his pride and joy…" Faramir said. "Now I only make him feel ashamed. I acted out of love, and it cost me his love."
"Nothing you can do could cost you his love."
"There is no love in his eyes when he looks at me anymore" Faramir said. "I will change that. Being here is the worst punishment I could have imagined. I don't mind Gondor per se, but being parted from everything that I care about…"
"Sometimes acting out of love means staying away from that which you love" Aragorn said. "Better love something with dignity at a distance than love something near when you can't look yourself in the mirror. Come with me now Faramir son of Peregrin. We have work to do."
Faramir followed Aragorn with a heavy heart. He didn't find the king very comforting; he didn't find anyone at all particularly comforting. But he knew work had a way of keeping your mind off things and for that reason he welcomed the busy schedule Aragorn had set up for him this day.
But when he retreated to his chambers that evening the loneliness surrounded him like a thick quilt. He found something on the bed, something left behind for him. The old cape his father had wanted to give him two years before. Faramir crawled up on the bed and hugged the cape like he had his security blanket when he was little, and wept. The cape was as clean as it would ever be again yet still dirty, it was well-worn and rugged, and it was so much a part of Pippin. After all these years it still smelled of Pippin's pipe, and it had the mixed smell of dirt, grass and sweat which had always made his mother wrinkle her nose but to Faramir had been the smell of his father.
Faramir wept, remembering all the things he had lost in the past year. He had never expected to lose his father this way; even Pippin's death would have been easier to take. Knowing that his father was alive but didn't care for him anymore hurt more than any other way he could lose him. Memories filled his mind, one after the other, leaving him no peace. He remembered falling asleep in Pippin's safe arms by the fireplace when he was little, he remembered how much time Pippin had devoted to teaching him things, he remembered how they had gone out hunting together, riding together, having a pint of ale together. He remembered how concerned his father had been the time he broke his leg, he remembered his father's unending patience with sitting by his bedside when he was ill, and he remembered the sense of security, love and strength he had always gotten around his father. None of that would ever come again. He remembered so vividly what it was like when Pippin returned from Gondor after a long absence, how happy those first days were and how he was showered with his father's affection. This time when they would be reunited, all Faramir could hope for was that his father would think his actions and progress to be enough, and that he would be proud once more.
He had always wanted to be like his father. Now he was all alone in Minas Tirith, following in his father's footsteps, serving the king. Not even the thought of Goldilocks waiting for him in the Shire could dry his tears at this moment. He had always expected that when he walked in his father's footsteps his father would be still in sight in front of him on the path. All Faramir could see now was an empty road, leading to nowhere.
XX
XX
"I'm going away for a few days" Merry announced at the dinner table.
"A few days?" Estella said. "Just make sure you're home in time to be at hand for the hunt, the clumsy Hobbits living in this hall will break at least seven legs for sure."
"Aramac can handle that, should the situation arise" Merry said. "I'm going to Hobbiton. I don't expect to be gone longer than till Thursday, the lads can handle things here while I'm gone, they're old enough."
"Me too?" Lucky asked with perked eyebrows.
"Théo and Aramac" Merry said.
"What about me?" Cordy complained.
"You aren't even old enough to eat your peas" Estella said and nodded at his plate which was completely cleaned of all contents save the peas.
"I don't like them and that's just that!"
"Neither do I but at least I eat them" Théo said.
"Why are you going to Hobbiton, Da?" Lúthien asked.
"I'm old enough not to say Da" Cordy grumpily muttered.
"Enough bickering at the dinner table" Estella said.
"I'm going to visit Sam" Merry said. "And Frodo. Frodo had a son just a few days ago."
"That's wonderful news" Estella said with a smile. "Sam must be so proud!"
"Another tender to the flowers born into the world" Cordy said.
"Don't talk about gardeners that way" Éowyn objected.
Cordy was about to reply that she was just annoyed he said something bad about Merry Gamgee's father and brother when his three brothers, knowing what he was about to say, gave him a kick underneath the table. Cordy shrieked.
"Can we have no peace at the table?" Merry asked. "Cordy what is it now?"
"Nothing" Cordy whimpered and gave his brothers a death glare.
"Faramir should be arriving in Gondor any day now, perhaps that will interest you" Merry said and eyed his son.
"Not particularly" Cordy said icily.
"Poor Diamond" Estella said and rose to start clearing the table. "Having both her husband and her son away in Gondor! It must be a nightmare for her! I hope for her sake Faramir won't become as attached to Gondor as his father is."
"Pippin did what he had to do" Merry said and rose to help her out. "Those who are innocent always end up having to pay part of the price. Perhaps we should invite Diamond over more often, it might cure her loneliness."
Éowyn glared at her empty plate and tried to ignore the conversation. She hated any talk that had anything to do with what had happened last summer. It was far too painful still, in a way she envied Faramir who was someplace far away where he didn't get reminded of bittersweet memories everywhere he looked and where he didn't have to face the accusing looks from those he loved.
Her relationship with her father was icy at best. He didn't pay her much attention at all; when he did he was frosty. Her mother had lectured her several times on what she had done, and from now on Estella was determined to change the wrongs in Éowyn's behavior. She had her working much harder than before, all the chores she had once been able to get around were suddenly inescapable. Estella was set on making sure her daughter learned everything a lass should know, her days of being her father's shadow were over. Théo was still feeling deeply hurt by her, and Cordy was devastated over what he had found out about Faramir and blamed Éowyn for her part in the whole thing. Aramac had made it clear to her that he thought she had acted very wrong. Lúthien and Lucky were the only two who seemed to have gotten over what she had done, but Lucky had never paid her much attention before anyway. He was always off on his own doings; she didn't see much of him.
"I wish I could go with you to Bag End" Estella said. "To think my little Frodo, the lad I used to nanny, is a father!"
Merry nodded. He had figured she would want to go. But she had to stay and care for the household, Lúthien was not old enough and neither of them trusted Éowyn with the job. However it was better not to bring it up, it would only upset Éowyn and no matter how hard it was for Merry to forgive her he still didn't see any reason to embarrass her in front of her siblings.
"I'll tell you what" he said. "I'll be back on Thursday and then you can go and stay until Monday. How does that sound?"
"It sounds lovely" Estella said and smiled at him. "I haven't been to Bag End in a long time!"
"May I be excused" Éowyn muttered and left the table without waiting for an answer.
"What's wrong with her?" Lucky asked, looking like a living question mark.
"What do you think?" Cordy muttered. "Going to Bag End?"
"Ooohh…" Lucky said.
"Don't bother your sister about it" Merry said. "Let her pout if she wishes to. Hurry up and help clear this table, I'm planning to go out and find some herbs before I leave. Whoever helps with the dishes can come along."
Aramac and Lucky volunteered at once while Théo quickly escaped. Cordy claimed herbs were silly and left to fetch his pony and go for a ride. Merry wondered if mentioning the whole debacle had upset Cordy as well. The mentioning of Faramir hadn't brought on a good response; Merry hoped his son would come around in that regard. Faramir was not around for him to talk to; Merry hoped they would be able to get their friendship back on track when they were together again. Cordy was hasty in everything he did, he had been hasty in tossing Faramir aside but he might be just as hasty to forgive and forget once his second cousin returned.
"What herbs will we be looking for?" Lucky asked and handed a dried plate to Merry.
"Nothing in particular, I just felt like going out for a little scout" Merry said.
"I'm making my own medicine pouch" Lucky said. "Out of the skin from that fox I caught a few months back. I'm hoping to start filling it soon!"
"How about inspiring your brother to do the same?" Merry said. "Théo should have one."
"Théo doesn't even hunt, where would he get the skin from a fox?" Aramac said.
"Perhaps I'll just make him one" Merry said. "My 80th birthday is coming up this summer; a medicine bag might be a great gift."
"Éowyn will be 33 this fall" Estella said. "How are we going to go about her birthday celebration without all Gamgees being present?"
"I'll talk to Sam" Merry said.
"I hate that everything is so troublesome now" Lucky said. "Not even a birthday party can be planned without last summer's events causing trouble."
"Éowyn is learning her lesson the hard way" Aramac said. "Don't feel sorry for her."
"I don't. I just hate the situation, that's all."
"No more talking of that" Estella said firmly. It was driving her crazy that her daughter's romance seemed to be working its way into every part of everyday life. This had to stop; they couldn't keep going on like this.
XX
XX
Faramir was beginning to regret having gone out for a walk. But he would go mad cooped up in his chambers. He had to get out and see the sun, escape from the loneliness he felt whenever he was alone in his room. Though he hadn't counted on people staring at him, pointing and whispering when he passed by. He was wearing Gondorian clothes and his finest cape, yet he did not fit in at all. He was as short as the children but no one seemed to be fooled that he was one. He wondered how his father could ever choose to go to this place out of own free will.
A group of soldiers were gathered outside a barber shop, waiting for their turn to get a clean shave and a fresh haircut. Faramir had seen them around the king's halls before but didn't know any of their names. He decided to go over to them and talk; at least soldiers wouldn't treat him like an ogre from a fairy tale when he spoke with them.
"Good afternoon, Master Hobbit!" one of the soldiers said.
"Good afternoon" Faramir said.
"Here to get a fresh shave? You don't look like you need one anymore than these youngsters here, but the king sends everyone here anyways."
Faramir glanced at the three younger soldiers who did look old enough to shave in Faramir's opinion. But what did he know; he had never had to shave a day in his life.
"The king has spared me that bit" he said. "Hobbits do not grow beards, although perhaps I should have my feet shaven to fit in a bit better."
The older soldier laughed and Faramir felt a bit better. At least he was not completely alone; it was nice to just small talk with someone.
"They say you are the Perian who saved Lord Faramir from the fires!" a young soldier said with reverence.
"I am a Faramir of my own!" Faramir objected. "Many years have passed since the War." He wasn't sure exactly when Lord Faramir had been saved and what he had been saved from, but it was safe to assume it had happened during the war. "I am far too young to have been present during that occasion."
"They say that the Perian never grow old" the young soldier said.
"Though it is flattering to be confused for an Elf," Faramir said, "my father, the one who saved your Lord, has reached an honourable age of seventy-two."
"Don't you remember seeing Master Peregrin when last he visited?" the older soldier said to the younger. "Though he might resemble this young Hobbit the one who saved our Lord Faramir has grey streaks in his hair and a more weathered face."
The soldiers began discussing the differences of Pippin and Faramir back and forth, a topic which bored Faramir from the start. He was not interested in hearing in what further ways he was unlike his father, not to mention it was unsettling to listen to all the things they thought of his father, things people would expect Faramir to be. He excused himself and wondered off.
After a while he came to a town square and stopped to admire the statue in the centre. He walked slowly around it, getting a look from every angle. The statue frightened him, yet intrigued him. The largest part of it was made out of a horrid beast, a creature in armor and a helmet which seemed to have been made from pure evil. The creature was threatening a young soldier with long hair visible beneath the helmet. Faramir knew it must be showing a scene from the Great War. He had been informed that the city of Minas Tirith had been the scene of the largest siege during the war, and that a bloody battle had been fought out on the Pelennor Fields.
As he passed around the statue he suddenly noticed a figure which had not been visible from the other angle. A small soldier crawling up to the threatening creature, holding his tiny sword up as if to strike the much larger enemy. He stared at the figure and at the whole statue, feeling frightened by it in ways he could not explain. There was just something about it which made him very uneasy.
"That's me in that statue" a woman's voice suddenly said.
Faramir spun around and found himself face to face with a lady dressed in white, bearing no resemblance to either of the soldiers in the statue save for the long hair falling down her back. The lady before him was of an older age, though time seemed to have treated her nicely. Faramir could not tell whether she was forty or sixty.
"I am the soldier with the long hair" the woman said. "The creature threatening me is the Witch King of Angmar. And the small soldier on the ground is your Uncle Merry."
"Uncle Merry?" Faramir said and turned once more to look at the figure.
"How much do you know of the Battle of the Pelennor fields?"
"Just that it took place" Faramir said. "They're so strict in that regard, they won't let anybody know anything…"
"Now you know one thing" Éowyn said. "I am Éowyn, the White Princess of Ithilien. During the war I fought as Dernhelm, with the Halfling Merry at my side."
"Uncle Merry fought in the war?" Faramir said. He turned to look at her.
"Yes. And he saved me. Our paths collided at a time when everything was chaos, and it became the rescue for us both. In the midst of all the commotion and ruined lives I found someone who was real… In spite of the situation and the knowledge that mankind was on the brink of destruction I started to believe again. I believed in him."
"He really did serve in the war…" Faramir said in amazement. "What about my father?"
"He was in the besieged city."
"Serving Lord Faramir? I am Faramir son of Peregrin!"
"Yes I know. We have met before, don't you remember?"
"No not really… And you're a friend of my father?"
"A friend of your uncle's" she said. "Your father and I have never connected. We don't see eye to eye on things. Though seeing you here looking lost and lonely you remind me of Merry. I know what loneliness is like. Perhaps you would like to accompany me for a walk through the gardens at the House of Healing; there is nothing better to cure loneliness with than a stroll with a new acquaintance."
Faramir accepted her offer and followed her to the gardens. He was getting one surprise after the other, now he could remember that he had met this lady before and who her husband was, but he could not picture her being so close to his uncle. And yet she was the woman Éowyn Brandybuck was named for. What surprised him the most was that she claimed not to get along with his father. He had thought everybody in Gondor loved Peregrin, but this woman did not.
He walked with her through the gardens and asked her a lot of questions. She answered them all patiently, and asked him a few in return. Faramir found he liked her company and sought it out whenever he had a few hours to spare. She would be in Minas Tirith for seven weeks; Faramir looked forward to getting to spend time with her for a while. He didn't have to start from square one with her; it was like half a friendship was already there.
After three weeks had passed he found himself talking to her about Goldilocks and the reason why his father sent him away. Éowyn listened to his story, she didn't approve of what he had done but she knew what it was like when it was hard to be in love.
"Every day that passes without her during winter is manageable" Faramir told her. "We've never shared a winter together. But whenever I think of summer… That we are not together anymore, and won't be this summer… Then it hurts. A lot. But then I think about the summer after this one and it makes me smile again. We will be together that summer."
"Are you sure about that?" Éowyn asked. "Love either thrives at a distance or dies."
"I'm sure" Faramir said. "Something in her eyes… when last we spoke… She cares for me, that won't change."
"Maybe your father sent you here because he hopes it will. For the both of you."
"No, he sent me here to pay for my mistakes and make good on them. It took me by surprise when he left me here alone but I assume he feels I should learn to be on my own sometimes."
"Faramir…" Éowyn said gently. "It is possible that Peregrin wants you to get over your feelings for her."
"No! That's not it! He said that he didn't mind me loving Goldilocks, he only objected to going behind his back! He wouldn't expect me to just forget about her! I won't forget about her! I keep holding on, I can't let go of how I feel. And I don't want to, especially now that I don't have to. There's hope for Goldilocks and me where there's never been hope before."
He paused and Éowyn didn't say anything. He hadn't known it would be this hard to talk to her; Uncle Merry never seemed to have any problems with it. But they were separated by age, race and gender, whole generations parted the two. Éowyn would never understand Faramir as she understood Merry. Faramir suddenly felt sad. She was his only friend here in Gondor yet she would never truly be his friend. But he had to talk to someone. The feelings he had inside were eating him alive.
"Éowyn I only wish someone would have told me love is not always a pretty thing" he said. "Why does it hurt? Isn't love supposed to be the one thing in your life which can never cause you pain? It used to make me feel like I could do anything, like I could fly, it made me not care of who I hurt or what lie I told. Now it just hurts me… Not just the love I have for Goldilocks but loving my father. It hurts to love a parent who no longer loves you. I can't stop loving him any more than I can stop loving Goldilocks! It's like the skies have turned dark and it rains and never stops. Why does it cloud up Éowyn?"
"When you feel this way it is often an indication that you're not loving who you should" Éowyn said. "I loved once too, before I loved my husband, and that love hurt. It brought me thorns but not a rose. I loved with all my heart, I truly did, and I never saw myself loving anyone else. I do now though. And you will too, Faramir. Someday you will meet another lass and you will forget about Goldilocks Gamgee."
"No I won't" Faramir said. "I can't! She is too special! And she loves me still! My father might not but Goldilocks does. I cannot give up on the one whose love I can have. I was surrounded with love growing up but now those days are gone and if I traded my father's love for Goldilocks' then I shall not cast her aside! No one ever told me it would be this hard to be in love but I won't give up! Somehow this year will go by and I will return. I hate this place; I won't stay a minute longer than I have to! I am going back to Goldilocks the second I have fulfilled my duties here and I will marry her!"
Éowyn followed him with her eyes as he stormed off to his private chambers. He was full of conflict, but fighting this battle with himself would never lead him anywhere. Although she wasn't very fond of Peregrin she knew he would never stop loving his son. He needed to tell Faramir that, Éowyn was worried he would commit himself to Goldilocks for all the wrong reasons if he didn't.
XX
XX
Estella sat down on a stool in front of Merry's armchair and let him rub her aching shoulders. She was tired; it was getting harder to always be up and about. Her shoulders would start to hurt if she spent more than an hour bent over her sewing.
"You need to relax more, my sweet" Merry said and kissed her on the top of her head. "I don't want you working yourself to exhaustion every day."
"I'm happier when I'm doing something, you know I don't like to rest."
"Let the girls do more of the work" Merry said. "Let others here at the Hall help you. You don't have to do everything alone."
"Neither do you" she remarked. "You ought to let Théo have more responsibilities."
"He has all the rest of his life to be Master" Merry said. "Let him have his freedom. All the lads work around the Hall; they don't need any further duties at the time."
The door opened and Éowyn came in, looking determined. Her parents looked at her and wondered what she wanted. She rarely sought out their company these days unless she had a specific errand.
"I have decided how I want to spend my 33rd birthday" she said.
"Let's hear it" Estella said.
"I want to go to Ithilien and spend it with the Lady Éowyn."
Merry's hands stopped rubbing Estella's shoulders for a moment. At first neither parent thought they had heard her correctly.
"Out of the question!" Estella said.
"You can't go to Ithilien Éowyn" Merry said and resumed working on his wife's shoulders.
"I will be 33!" Éowyn said. "I'm not a child any longer. It is not up to you to decide what I can and cannot do!"
"Your own sense of judgment has not gotten you very far" Estella said. "If you think I am going to let my little girl ride out to some place she's never been, on paths she's never taken, all on her own then you are mistaken. The very thought of it terrifies me!"
"You cannot decide for yourself that you want to travel to Ithilien" Merry said. "You have to ask the Lady if she will receive you."
"No doubt she will! I am going! I refuse to spend summer here, and to celebrate my birthday here knowing that everything is so awkward!"
"Part of being an adult is accepting the consequences of your actions" Merry pointed out.
"Faramir got to travel! Maybe that is what I need as well?"
"This discussion ends here and now" Estella said. "Your father might give in to your pleads if you beg him long enough but I won't have my child out there, putting her life at risk! I love you too much for that!"
Éowyn looked from one parent to the other, then let out an angry cry and fled to her room. Estella turned and looked at Merry.
"You won't let her go, do you hear me? I won't risk losing her out on the roads!"
"Don't be silly, of course I wouldn't let her go" Merry said and pulled her close.
XX
XX
"Oh no" Deny Took sighed and halted his pony. "HAMs ahead. There, in the glade."
"They don't look too happy" Aramac said and frowned. "I wonder what is going on!"
"When have you ever seen any of them looking happy?" Deny asked.
"You have a point" Aramac said but rode up to the party of four Hobbits in the glade.
At first none of them noticed him. One of the lasses, Gemma Delvering, was sitting on a log crying. Tack Sacker was looking at something on her leg; it didn't take much for Aramac to realize she had somehow hurt herself. He wasn't fond of the HAMs but he didn't like to see lasses cry, and he was being trained by his father to be a medic. Deny followed him hesitantly, wishing they could leave the wounded Delvering in the care of her friends.
Chet Delvering looked up and spotted them. He angrily snarled at them to go away.
"Is she injured?" Aramac asked with a nod to Gemma.
"None of your concern!" Daisy Bluebell said.
"I know my way around herbs, if she is hurt and there's something I can do then it is my concern."
"Aramac let's just ride back home" Deny said. "It's no use my friend; they won't let you help her!"
"We can take care of our own, we don't need a Brandybuck telling us what to do" Tack said angrily.
"Miss Delvering…" Aramac said to Gemma. "You wouldn't cry like that for nothing. Did you cut yourself?"
"It's nothing" Gemma said and tried to try her tears. "A bee stung me, that's all."
"All this fuss over a bee?" Deny sighed.
"Bee stings can be painful sometimes" Aramac said.
"Save your sympathy Brandybuck" Daisy snarled.
"Listen, I know how to ease the pain" Aramac said to Gemma, ignoring the rest. "Won't you let me help you?"
"She doesn't need your help" Tack said.
"That's for her to decide, I'm talking to Gemma."
Gemma said nothing. Deny sighed and wished Aramac would realize it was no use so they could go.
"Look Aramac, they're too proud to accept your help" he said. "Let's just be on our way."
"Fine" Aramac said, not too happy about the situation. "But put some frogbit on that. That will help, I assure you."
They rode off towards a nearby meadow and Deny eyed his friend suspiciously.
"What was that all about?"
"I know they hate my family and all that, but maybe if we show them some kindness when they need it they will come to realize we're not bad Hobbits."
"Listen Aramac, nothing you say or do is going to make them change their minds. They have made up their minds that you are mean and they're really stubborn."
"Maybe you're right" Aramac said. "But it never hurts to try."
They rode out on the meadow and waved at Diamond and Pippin who were out taking a walk. The Tooks waved back and turned to start heading home to the Smials. Diamond was reluctant to return, the Smials were so empty now that Faramir was gone.
"Cheer up" Pippin said to her as they walked across the meadow. "He lived at Crickhollow last summer; we've been without him before."
"Not for this long" Diamond complained. "And not this far apart! He has never been so far away from me that I haven't been able to reach him within a day. Pippin what if something happens to him?"
"He's got the king of Gondor looking after him" Pippin said. "He will be fine."
"What about you?" Diamond asked. "Will you be fine?"
"I truly believe I did the right thing" Pippin said. "But it was not easy. I just hope he won't forget that everything I do I do out of love for him."
"He knows that" Diamond said. "But please Pippin, stop being so angry around him. It won't do anybody any good. What's done is done and your anger won't change a minute of it."
"Perhaps not" Pippin agreed. "One thing is for sure… He won't ever do anything like that again. Now that he knows how difficult it can be to pay the price."
"I just don't see why you put on that angry face around him instead of showing him how sad you are. For you are sad, more than you are angry."
"What good does sad do?" Pippin asked. "I could never have left him behind in Minas Tirith if he knew how sad I was about it. It was easier if he thought I was angry."
"I don't understand you lads…" Diamond sighed.
"He will be back in about a year" Pippin said. "When he returns I'm going to make sure to tell him how much I've missed him."
"I'm glad" Diamond said and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on now Master Took, let's go home to our empty Smials and have dinner, just the two of us. I was so lonely I could cry when you both were gone, at least now I have you. I'll make you your favorite dinner."
Pippin smiled at her and thought perhaps a few months without Faramir might be good for him and Diamond. They could use a rekindling of their marriage; some time for just the two of them might be just what they needed. At least they had each other, Faramir was alone. It made Pippin sad just thinking about it but he knew he had made the right choice. This year would do Faramir good; Pippin only hoped someday he would realize it.
XX
XX
"I have an announcement to make" Merry said as the Brandybucks and Tooks were sitting down to eat. "Éomer King of Rohan has sent for me. I am to travel to Rohan right away where I--"
"You're leaving for Rohan?" Éowyn interrupted.
"Don't interrupt your father" Pippin said. "What is so urgent, Merry?"
"Has something happened?" Aramac asked.
"As I was about to tell you, before I got interrupted, the king has sent word for me to travel to the city of Edoras where I am to be lorded."
Nobody said a word for a few minutes. Merry eyed them, wondering if he had actually spoken out loud. Nobody seemed to have heard him. Finally Théo spoke up.
"Lorded? What does that mean? I thought you were Lord Holdwine already!"
"They call me that but I am not officially lorded" Merry said. "However since I'm turning 80 the king figured he won't have all that much time ahead to actually make me a lord. He wants the ceremony to be on my birthday."
"I was hoping you would spend it here, with us!" Estella objected.
"Estella I can't say no" Merry said. "It is more than a fabulous honor, it is my duty."
"About time he lorded you" Pippin said. "Aragorn lorded me decades ago!"
"Do we have to call you Lord Merry now?" Diamond asked.
"Only if you're in Rohan."
"Does that mean Théo will be Lord Théodoc when you die?" Lucky asked.
"Lucky!" Estella exclaimed. "How can you even think about something like that?"
"I'll have to ask the king, but I do believe my bloodline will inherit the lordship, yes. But it's mainly a formality; I don't think it comes with any duties."
"I hope not!" Théo said. "I don't want to have to serve a king so far from home!"
Éowyn immediately noticed an opportunity arising for her. As soon as she could get her father aside she asked him when he would be leaving.
"I told you, as soon as possible" he said. "By the end of the week."
"Take me with you" Éowyn urged.
"Out of the question."
"Let me celebrate my 33rd birthday in Rohan if not Ithilien. You should have a family member present when you're lorded."
"We both know that's not the reason you wish to come" Merry said. "I promised your mother I wouldn't give in to you; a no is a no Éowyn."
"I am going to Ithilien whether you permit it or not" Éowyn said and crossed her arms. "You cannot keep me here. Uncle Pippin was younger than me when he left! Now I can either travel on my own, with good chance of getting lost and running out of food, or I can go with you and be safe."
"That sounds like blackmail."
"Like I said, I'm going. On my own if I have to."
Merry sighed heavily.
"Your mother's going to kill me."
XX
XX
Faramir opened the heavy doors and stepped inside the mighty halls. He had been in Gondor for months now yet never been in these halls before. It was late at night and he could not sleep. He had brought a candle with him and gone for a walk through the citadel, eager to explore. The halls interested him, even if they did not seem welcoming or friendly. He could not understand how one could choose to build great halls of stone to live in when one could dig a lovely tunnel through the thick, rich ground instead.
He held up his candle and let the light fall on the walls. Great paintings covered the entire right wall of the hall, statues guarded the left. The paintings were of great kings in Gondor's past and of pivotal events in the history of the kingdom. Faramir walked slowly through the hall, looking at every painting and wondering what the history was behind it. Elves lived forever but men had found a different way of granting themselves immortality. Some of the kings had hung up on the wall long before the war at the end of the second age; that was so long ago that Faramir could not even begin to grasp it.
His footsteps were barely audible as he slowly made his way down the hall. Hobbit feet knew how to walk in silence. He didn't want to wake anybody up; he knew they would frown upon him being awake at this hour when he had duties in the morning.
Faramir was finally beginning to settle in. He felt he was learning something from Aragorn and part of him had begun to feel excitement over someday getting to use what he learned in real life. For the first time in his life he felt a true desire to do his very best as Thain. He had finally come to realize that his father would not live forever and that the thainship really would be his someday.
He had walked forever it seemed when he came across a painting of someone familiar. The painting showed a Hobbit, turned slightly to the right, clad in human clothes but doubtlessly a Hobbit. A Hobbit Faramir knew well. A golden sign on the frame of the painting said "Meriadoc, Ernil i Periannath". Faramir looked at the painting for a long time, unable to tear his eyes from it. He had never seen a painting of a person he knew before, and he wondered what his uncle had done to deserve being up on this wall among the kings and stewards of Gondor. Merry had a serious look on his face and his left hand held on the handle of a sword without a blade. A shiver ran down Faramir's spine and he quickly walked on to the next painting.
He nearly dropped his candle on the ground. The next painting showed not only Merry but also Pippin, standing behind a green divan upon which a third Hobbit sat. Merry and Pippin each had a protective hand held on the sitting Hobbit's shoulders. All three of them wore ceremonial clothes and Elven capes. Even though his own father was in the painting Faramir's eyes were drawn to the one who sat on the divan. He held his hands in his laps, forming a ring between his two thumbs and index fingers. But one hand had only four fingers.
"Frodo of the nine fingers…" Faramir whispered and read the golden sign on the frame. "Periannath. Peregrin, Meriadoc and Frodo." He stepped closer. "Frodo… The great Frodo… So this is Frodo."
A feeling he could not define came over him. It was scarier than he could ever have imagined to be given proof that legends he had heard were real, and people he had been told of had lived. Frodo Baggins had only been a name to him, someone who had one finger missing and lived at Bag End once, a close friend of his father's. But now that Faramir saw him on the painting Frodo became real for the first time. This was what Frodo Baggins had looked like, and he had been very real.
Faramir backed away from the painting, haven gotten enough history for one day. He continued on to the next painting, which showed his own father. It seemed like a companion piece to the one of Merry, it had Pippin turned slightly to the left, clad in ceremonial Gondorian clothes and holding a helmet in his hands. The golden sign read "Peregrin, Ernil I Periannath". Faramir had no idea what the bit after the name meant, he assumed it was a title in Elvish but could only guess its meaning. He took a closer look on his father on the painting, guessing his age to be around Faramir's own and was struck with how similar they were. No wonder people took him for his father, Faramir had not been given many features from his mother.
"What did you accomplish to be honored with a painting in this hall?" he whispered in the night. "Two paintings even! No wonder you are so ashamed of me… The son of such a great Hobbit sinking so low! I promise you Father, I may never hang up on this wall with you but I will be the best Hobbit I can be!"
He straightened his back and took on a proud face. With as much dignity and determination as he had in him he turned and strode back to his own chambers. He had made up his mind once and for all; he was not going to allow his father to be ashamed of him anymore. He was going to rise above that and make everybody proud. And make Samwise able to forgive him and allow him his daughter's hand in marriage. For the first time Faramir truly understood what his father had been talking about when he said that there could be no love without honor. Goldilocks deserved better than the Faramir he was now, she deserved someone people looked at with respect and pride. He was going to be that Hobbit.
XX
XX
Éowyn had never felt so small in all of her life. The Golden Hall was larger than she had imagined any place being, the humans were taller than she remembered tall folk being and everything around her was a larger size that she was used to. She reckoned this was what a child must feel like, always too small to reach.
People had not given her as many questioning looks as her father had prepared her for. They looked at him with great interest and curiosity but few of them seemed to realise that she was a grown-up and not a child. She was addressed as a child and someone had even offered her toys when she first arrived. It was making her quite uncomfortable, it felt like her father had been speaking literally when he said to her that she was nothing more than a child still. She hated that. She didn't want to be seen as a child even though she might have acted like one. She wanted the chance to prove that she had grown up.
She knew that in this environment though she would never blend in with the adults. Her own father could not quite manage it, and he was taller than Éowyn and held in high regards. She would be thought of as a child in Rohan even if she stayed for decades, she could see that much. Still she felt at home here, nobody here knew about her past and judged her for it, she was just another child in the crowd and in that aspect it was nice to be treated as one of the children.
Another thing that had struck her was the beauty of the people around her, and the wealth. She came from one of the wealthiest families in the Shire yet her clothes seemed simple compared to those worn by the queen and her entourage. Her curly hair was unruly and refused to be arranged in the lovely hairdos that surrounded her, and she wore no jewels while the women of Rohan wore pretty necklaces and bracelets. The queen had lent her a necklace to wear for this occasion but it was too big for her and only looked silly around her neck so she had given it back.
Her father blended in better than she did. He was at the moment kneeling before the king by his throne, wearing a ceremonial outfit Éowyn had never seen before. He looked small compared to the king who was standing in front of him; the scene could almost look comedic if it wasn't such a solemn occasion. Éowyn felt full of pride at the sight, she would never have believed she would get to take part in such a happening. No other Hobbits were present, it was only she, her father and more humans than she could count.
Merry was on his knees swearing his loyalty to the king of Rohan once again, overlooked by as many people as had been able to fit inside the Golden Hall. Éomer King listened carefully to each word he said, accompanied by his wife and son on one side and his sister and nephew on the other. When Merry had sworn his oath Éomer dubbed him Lord of Rohan and told him to arise.
Éowyn could not keep herself from clapping her hands when her father rose, she was very excited by the whole event and felt privileged to have gotten to witness the occasion. The king looked a bit startled at first when he heard the clapping, but it only took seconds before the farmers and peasants in the hall began to clap as well, believing it was the custom, and soon everyone else joined in. Éomer resisted the urge to smile and handed a brand new sword to his brand new duke. Merry took it and bowed deeply.
Éowyn turned her head when a hand was placed on her shoulder. A nobleman smiled at her and bowed.
"Allow me to escort you to your father, Lady Éowyn" he said.
Éowyn took his outreached arm while trying to hide her surprise at the title he had just addressed her with. Lady Éowyn, that was not her name! She was just an ordinary Hobbit, the lady was the woman clad in white following her father to a back room.
The nobleman led her through a hall she had never been down before and into a room where a small group of noblemen had gathered along with the royal family. Éowyn bowed to her guide when he released her arm and then took a step towards her father. He turned to her with a smile on his face; it was the first real smile he had given her in a long time. She felt a lump in her throat and her eyes filling with tears.
"Why are there tears in your eyes, Lady Éowyn?" her father asked her.
"You are a Lord" she said and curtsied. "But I am no Lady! There is no Lady Éowyn save for the White Lady of Ithilien!"
"The daughter of a duke is titled lady" Éomer said. "I admit it will be a bit confusing for a while but we will get used to it. I hope you will both stay long enough for us to get accustomed to having two ladies go by the same name."
"We shall stay for at least another month" Merry said. "Until shortly before my daughter's birthday. Then we will be traveling to Ithilien together with the Lady Éowyn. The White Lady that is."
"We shall have to call you Young Lady Éowyn" Éomer's wife Lothiriel said to the Hobbit with a smile.
"I prefer just Éowyn" Éowyn said and bowed to the queen.
Merry shook his head but didn't say anything. Éowyn wondered if she had done something wrong, perhaps it was considered highly disrespectful to ask to be addressed common. But she didn't feel entitled to the same addressing as the White Lady. She had not earned the title as her father had done; she was just born as his daughter. She wondered what the HAMs would say if they knew she was addressed Lady Éowyn in Rohan.
XX
XX
After a month the two Hobbits left Rohan together with the White Lady and her entourage. Both Merry and his daughter were sad to leave Rohan behind but Merry knew he would be returning some day. Éowyn was deeply saddened by the knowledge that she never would. This would be her only journey to the lands of the men, and it had been far too brief. She had loved being in Edoras, among all the friendly people, all the pretty horses and all the open spaces. She had never seen lands like this before; they had no such plains in the Shire.
She looked over at her father and felt a bit sad that he would not be called by his new title in the Shire. Duke sounded so impressive, far better than a simple Master. Perhaps using the title would gain him some more respect. He was a lord now, and that had to mean something even to Chet Delvering and his party. Merry didn't seem interested however; he felt the title belonged to who he was when he was in Rohan, the soldier and the esquire. He didn't mind that people called him Lord Little behind his back or that he would go years between using the title. To him it was mainly a ceremonial title anyways.
When they entered the realm of Gondor Éowyn suddenly remembered that Faramir was in the capital city. She wondered if they would stop by Minas Tirith and see him. Judging by what a sore spot their relationships with the Gamgee siblings still was with their parents Éowyn didn't count on her father letting the two of them meet again, but she would much like to see him. It had been a long time since they last met; a year ago they had seen each other several times a week. It was strange to think they were supposed to have gotten married. Éowyn wondered if that would still be their future.
She wondered what would become of the two of them now. She knew what her own heart was set on. As a child she had often said that she would never get married until she found someone like her father, now she knew she would never want to marry anyone else than someone who shared her father's name. If she could not marry Merry Gamgee she would rather not marry at all. Only time would tell whether he would gather the courage to ask her father.
She glanced over at him as they rode across the plains of Gondor. He had said to her that he would have been able to accept the Gamgee lad as the mate for her, the Master's daughter. But would he be able to accept Merry Gamgee as the husband of a duke's daughter, she wondered.
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I would love a review to let me know what you think! Any suggestions? I have most of the series mapped up already, but if you have any suggestions for storylines then I would love to hear them. Thanks for reading, see you next time.