Please Don't Tell Her
Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.
Rating: Teen.
Author's Note: see look how good I am being. Updating faster and faster. Bad news is that I am going to be in London England for three weeks, and I can't guarantee how much I can update. I am taking good ole blinky Oberon (my power book) and I will write as much as I can, but my mother is an Internet hog, so who knows. And I hope you guys like it, since I had to majorly depress myself by listening to the most depressing song to let me write it. RnR
Lorelei Gilmore had never really thought about where her life was going that much. She knew of a general direction she would like to be in, but other than that, she tried not to have long intense self-examining thoughts. But now she had to.
She had thought when Luke began to distance himself, that maybe he was just being very considerate, and give her time with her daughter. Let them go to Atlantic City, let her sleep over at Yale and have long movie fests and shopping trips. But then time went by, and things went back to normal for the mother-daughter combo, but not Luke.
He then started sleeping at the apartment for more than the early delivery days. At first Lorelai thought it was all in her head. Her body was just trying to fool her into thinking that she had a reason to run. So she ignored that itching inside her, saying something wasn't right.
And then she had walked into the diner, just like she had done a million times before, and there she was. A smaller, female version of Luke, and he had never really apologized about keeping it a secret, and once that happened, she was stuck in a prison of self-doubts and never truly believing what he said.
He never lied, but there was always an air of something that made her not trust him completely, and then when she had come to the point of no return, she knew that she had managed to end the greatest relationship she ever had. It didn't matter that everything wasn't coffee and roses; she just knew that Luke was the man for her, flaws and everything. And then it happened.
The ever predictable, comet crashing to earth moment, and she looked at her fiancée as he lied about where he was the night before, and something in her died. She should have seen this coming. She knew that nothing was ever easy for a Gilmore. She just didn't understand it. She knew that she was pretty. She had everything, brains, humor and she was one hell of a kisser.
But somehow everything came down to her not being 'the one' for any of the guys she was with. And if she was the one, the men weren't certainly her one. And the way Luke had looked at her when he saw that he didn't know how it happened, something in her started to scream.
Luke was supposed to be her lobster, her soul mate, he was supposed to be there until there was nothing left. She saw it all disappear, and all she wanted to do was scream and rip his head off or just fade. She didn't know what to do, she was shaking and all she wanted to do was escape. How could he do that? If she closed her eyes, she could almost picture it. And what hurt the most was that he had gone to Anna. The woman who hid his child. Who really only gave him a role in her daughter's life, because April had taken away that control.
Sure Lorelai had felt pain in her life. The pain of disappointing her family, and the pain of being laughed at, mocked and pitied. That poor pregnant teen they had said. She had felt the pain of childbirth and the pain of loneliness. And she felt the pain of coming to the realization that she had to walk away from her parents for her sanity and for her Childs.
She felt the dull ache with every step her daughter took, knowing it would eventually lead to her daughter growing up and walking away from her, just like she had done. She had felt pain at Christopher's actions, at each set back and she had felt pain when she had to hurt Max to make sure they weren't making a huge mistake.
But never in her life, had she felt this kind of pain. The pain of betrayal and loss and love at the same time. She still loved him and she hated herself for it. She could rationalize it; deny that it was there. She could do the approach her family had done for years. If it wasn't right in front of her face, it didn't exist. But every time she even attempted to do that, his face, his goddamn guilty face came into view, and she felt nauseous once more.
Even in the shower, she knew he was there. She hoped it killed him to know that he could never touch her again. She would never let him in her life. She would never let him speak to her, or laugh with her. He would never see a patented Gilmore Girl smile, and the family he had been wishing for, waiting for, was gone forever. And it was his entire fault.
She looked down at her keychain of the week, and there it was. A picture she made him buy when they had visited a carnival when things weren't so complicated. There were identical happy smiles from the couple. You couldn't even tell that mere months later, things would be obliterated.
She glared at the picture, and felt like it was mocking her. 'Damn you.' She muttered and then threw it across the room in her daughter's apartment. 'I hate you Luke Danes. I hate you.' She screamed to the silence of the apartment, and most importantly, to her breaking heart.
p.s the title of the chapter is not alluding to the future of this. It fits somehow, and thanks to all the reviews. You all said what I wanted to do anyways, and so here it is for you!