Please Don't Tell Her
Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.
Rating: Teen.
'Luke, I' Lorelai started but the doctor ran in and looked pleased. 'Mr. Danes, she's awake.' Suddenly both Luke and Lorelai ran towards the room, Luke of course was hoping that his daughter was ok, and that she remembered what happened and where Anna was. Lorelai was simply focusing on the fact that the little girl that everyone had been waiting for and watching for, was going to be ok.
'April, there's some people waiting for you.' The nurse that had been watching over her since she had been wheeled out of surgery spoke softly to her. Luke ran over and looked at his daughter, who looked little to him.
'Dad?' April's voice was scratchy but she smiled up at her father. 'What happened?' April asked and Luke blanched at telling her he didn't know. Lorelai stepped forward. 'Hey sweet pea, you were in an accident, but you got those strong Danes gene babe, and you'll be ok.'
April looked confused for a moment but then she smiled. 'Hi Lorelai.' April said brightly, and looked around for her mother. 'Where's Mom?' She asked and Luke looked flabbergasted again. But Lorelei stepped in. 'We don't know honey, do you remember how you got hurt?' April looked confused and she shook her head. 'No, can you find her Luke?' April asked and he just nodded dumbly. 'Sure kid, we'll find her for you.' Lorelei said and then April shut her eyes and fell asleep. Oblivious to the turmoil her simply request had caused.
Luke pulled Lorelei out of the room and looked at her like se was the first sign of water in a desert. 'Thanks.' He said and he looked at her. 'I can't believe this, if Anna did it, I couldn't imagine..' Lorelai began but she shook her head.
Luke pulled her into a hug, and she stood there dumbly, trying not to be pulled into something more than her emotions could handle. Inside her heart begged her to find solace in his arms, but her brain just kept replaying his confession that he had slept with someone else. She separated herself harshly from him and stepped back several feet.
'I need to go Luke. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.' She said and her heartbreaking all over again and she ran, leaving Luke looking confused. 'Lorelai' he called but she couldn't hear him.
Lorelai sat in her empty house, picking up Paul Anka from Miss Patty before driving home. She hadn't sat on her couch in what felt like months. Funny, that she felt more at home in a hospital than in her house that she had lived in for so long.
The walls held too many memories for her, happy, sad and long forgotten ones as well. The room upstairs was something that she never wanted to be in again. She should have gone to the apartment with Rory. She would have slept on any couch or any cot, hell her car was looking mighty tempting compared to sleeping in that room.
Instead she slept on Rory's bed, thinking of Luke, and even in her anger and pain, she wished he were ok. She laid her head on the pillowcase she made for Rory. Made of the softest jersey material she could find. She would sleep and then see where she was.
The blacked hair women lay silently in her hospital bed, in a darkened room, with no one around. She was still unconscious, but it wasn't the type where you weren't there. She was aware of her surroundings, she was aware of the beeping monitors, and the shuffling of the nurses and doctors. It was like she was awake, but just couldn't open her eyes.
She knew that something was wrong, and she could almost remember a name. It sounded like a month, but maybe all this time in the dark was driving her mad. She was trying to reach out and get herself to wake up but she was distracted by a man voice yelling 'Lorelai'. It seemed familiar, and she held onto it, hoping it was a clue on how to get her out of this weird state.
Luke tried to explain to April what he knew of the accident by himself. He felt like he was going to burst any moment from the stress and the emotions he was feeling. He was hurt that Lorelai had just ran out of the hospital, but felt like a jackass for doing so. He had been the one to cheat, to ruin the greatest thing to happen, but he would have withstood all the pain in the world, just to make sure Lorelai was ok.
He wished he had held onto her, so she wouldn't be able to walk away again. He wished he wouldn't have felt so hurt by her ultimatum, and he wished he hadn't felt the need to drink. He wished that Stars Hallow had a store that was open after nine thirty and he wished that Anna hadn't let him in.
He wished that he didn't hurt the four women in his lives, and he wished that his daughter wouldn't look at him in that way that told him she trusted him, when in reality she shouldn't.
'Dad, where's mom?' April asked again and it made his thoughts slip away as he stared at his daughter. 'We don't know. I was called because they found you in the street, they think you were ran over.' April's eyes clouded over and she nodded and fell asleep, holding her father's hand.
Rory came to check up on Luke, a few hours after her mother's hurried retreat. She had spoken to her mother, and felt that her mother was being to hard on herself. Her mother had asked to see if Luke was ok. 'He just needs someone, and I am not strong enough to be that person.' Lorelei had said and so Rory sat in the chair and watched Luke try not to break down.
'Where is she?' Luke asked Rory when she had been there for quite a while. Rory looked uncomfortable and shrugged. 'At home I think.' She said and avoided eye contact. April's eyes sprang open and she yelled 'Mom!' Rory instantly stood up and took her hand.
'Hey April, you remember me? I'm Rory.' April looked scared for a second but then she relaxed. 'Hi Rory.' She said and then Rory distracted April by talking about their favorite books.
Lorelai walked into the hospital corridor a mere seven hours after she left. She felt like she was being selfish, and she didn't want to hurt Luke, as much as she wanted to. Luke was pacing the space in front of April's room and when he saw her, he stopped. He looked confused and when he looked at the clock he almost smiled. Maybe she just needed to sleep.
'Your back.' Luke had stated rather matter of factly, and she shrugged. 'April shouldn't be alone. So I am here for her.' She said simply and slipped into the room, leaving a dumbfounded Luke.
April smiled when she saw Lorelai walk in, glad that a familiar face was there. Even if she had met her once or twice, she felt comfortable around her. She reminded her a lot like her mother, with her quirky fashion sense, and blue eyes. She saw why her father loved her so much, and she could tell that something was wrong.
April looked at Lorelei and gauged her reaction to her question. Every time someone mentioned her mother, or she would, a funny look passed on his or her faces. She just wanted the truth. She didn't remember much, bright lights and then something heavy. Something that should have crushed her.
'Lorelei, where is my mom really?' April asked her and Lorelei winced for the barest hint of a second, and then sighed. 'I think you should ask your dad that, but honestly kid, no one knows where she is.' April looked sad for a minute and then she focused on Lorelei again.
'I am glad you're here Lorelai, I think you're a little bit cooler than Dad is.' Lorelai smiles, while trying not to cry in front of this 13 yr old girl. 'Thanks April, I think your cooler than Luke too!'
April tried to ask her dad what happened, but he had mumbled something about insurance and high tailed it out of the room. She had asked her Uncle Danny, but he had run out there pretty much like everyone else she asked. She even asked Rory and she shrugged. 'You got me kid.' She said, mimicking her mother perfectly.
It was strange that there was no one but her Uncle Danny around that she knew before this year. An old babysitter had heard what had happened, and popped by to visit, but she really had nothing to say. Just some well wishes, and some mumbled collection of pitied concessions.
Finally she started to get frustrated. She was getting worried, no one knew what had really happened to her, and she kept on being asked if she remembered anything, was her mother there? She didn't know why they kept on asking these questions, while never answering any of hers, and she was in a lot of pain.
She felt like crying, but crying was for babies. Her mother taught her to be strong, and resilient. She was told stories of feminists who stood the test of adversity. Her mother taught her that nothing was too big to be in her way. If there was a wall, climb it or tear it down, Anna had told her when she was small. And now she was getting tired of people avoiding her questions
Finally she got Lorelai, and she begged her to tell her anything. 'Kid I don't know.. Your father doesn't want you to know.. They don't know anything for sure.' Lorelai had stumbled. 'If Rory was in the hospital bed, and asked questions, would you tell her?' April had asked and Lorelei just looked uncomfortable.
'It's not a pretty thing they think April, and your not my kid, it's not my call.' Lorelei had said, and she saw how sad April looked. 'Why don't I talk to your dad about it?' She offered and April smiled. 'Thanks Lorelai' said and Lorelai got up to go talk to Luke.
'Lorelai, I want you to marry my dad. You make him less frantic.' April had said and Lorelei smiled at her, not letting April know how much havoc her simple request had caused the adult.
Lorelai sat down next to Luke and Luke immediately grabbed her hand in comfort. 'She really wants to know Luke, and I think it should be you, or hell even me. But it's hurting her not knowing.' Lorelai said to Luke and he nodded. 'I just need to find the right words.' He said and just then a woman was rolled past them, that looked just like Anna. Lorelei looked at Luke and he shook his head. 'No, that couldn't be her, could it?'
TBC
Hope you guys like it. You can thank my horrible immune system for this new chapter. I got a) food poisoning or b) the stomach flu. I am stuck in the flat here, watching British television and yearning for a brief glimpse of Gilmore Girls. Thank god I brought season 5. I hope you like this.
p.s I am trying to update Were not going to take this, and maybe Am I Missing, since Dashboard Confessional's album is out in 3 days.
Thanks for all the support!
BYIE