Akatsuki Days, a naruto fanfic

(I do not own Naruto, if I did; sadly enough disaster would happen about.)

(Oh yeah, Gaara is Akatsuked in this fic)

As our story lurks… I mean begins; we are in the quarters of the living room (SUPER DUPER LIVING ROOM that is). Kisame; Deidre, I mean Deidara; Gaara; and Itachi (well, he's kind of sleeping for his own reason, I think he's dreaming of dubs) lay back lazily on the couch which has demon bunny print all over it; they watched Shark week. They do not know why, it was probably because that Venus trap of a Zetsu has finally "fixed" the hidden satellite. The fact that Tobi hasn't appeared yet put fear in Deidre's poor heart that he won't be able to crush him today. Sasori, the orange puppet thing… person, just SEEMED to be a bit too close to the T.V.

"Hey, Sasori," asked Gaara, vexed, "why do you have to be that close to it?"

"What?"

"The TV?"

"I'm not close to the Tellitubies! They should all be burned!"

"The, T, V. You know the screen of… DOOOOOOO-"

"Because…"

"You'll burn you're eyes!"

Sasori turned around to show his eyes weren't burned, yet they were smoking.

"OH! If he dies again, may I take over?"

"Nu… Tuby…" Itachi murmured in his sleep.

"I'm not tubby! Oh Em GEE!" Tobi looked at his black suit; he did seem to be a bit fat, no more of the (yet invisible) fatty foods for our dear masked child.

Tobi proceeded to run around the living room, screaming (Itachi still slept) out things about what he should do, but saying no to them. Deidara tailed him with a skip in his step, singing… dot dot dot …

"Row row row your boat,

Violently down the stream,

Scarily, Scarily, Scarily, Scarily,

Life is all a SCREAM! Hn!"

Kisame finally got up, "CHILDREN" Everything slowed for some reason.

"YOUUUUU SHOOOOULDN'TTT YELLLLLL ARRRRROUND SCREAAAAAAMIng."

As speed returned, Deidara fell over Tobi, and his mask fell off.

"THE HORROR!" Cue Deidara copyrighted Hn and scream.

Tobi had absolutely no face, wait… No, it's just a wal-mart sticker, darn it! Anyways, as Deidara passed out, Tobi asked if he could have some help getting the gender confused lard off of him, of course they said no, but Zetsu had finally came down to take… HIM off.

"Tobi?"

"Yes, Zetsu?"

"I need to tell you…

ZETSU IS A GOOD BOY!"

"YEAH!"

"Hn!"

"Yea-…. Hn?"

It has seemed the lard has finally gotten up, but something was wrong (Like ALWAYS!) Deidara's clothing turned magically pink…

"The floofyness!"

Deidara ensued to strangle Tobi with his bare… hand things, but that didn't work, because two figures stood on his head, which no one else could see, so he began to attack his head until he knocked over Kisame, making them both sit on the couch, Deidara on Kisame's lap.

"U gud!" The muffled voice of a weasel like human was heard right under Kisame.

And Kisame's arse was on top of Itachi's head; the prince has been awakened, but now is fighting to live by flopping about the rest of his body like a fish. Kisame got a o.O face very quickly, and got up, sending Deidara flinging towards Sasori, BOOM, great, hm, I'm gonna have to put him back together hm, where's Tobi, hm.

"TOBI HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!" yelled Zetsu.

The wrinkled young adult sat up, gasping, it seemed like a game to Kisame, and so he joined. Obviously, Kisame won! Itachi sighed, and got up, "I need to make a call."

Itachi exited the room, cladded with warm sweat, as he walks to the phone.

"Dun dun."

"DUN dun."

"Du-"

"Kisame, go back to the living room."

"Okay."

Itachi picked up the phone, accidentally hitting himself on the head so he was knocked out for five seconds. He got back up, and dialed the number.

"This is Skip Sk-"

"You have seven days to quit Naruto. –Hang-up- -duuuuuuun-"

Itachi has found his worst fear; his dub voice is so raspy it sounded like he was going to make a baby cry, he wants to keep his deep voice, even though it still sounded 30. He walked back laggardly to the living room, to see if it was still there. Well let's see, Deidara just attached Sasori's head to his tail, Kisame smooched the shark that was on the T.V. romantically; the Akatsuki leaded was now on the couch, watching Kisame; finally Hidan and Kakuzu where out side playing Soap Opera in the distance. Yep, this is normal, thought Itachi.

"Hey… look what I can do now!" Sasori wagged his tail, and his head shook violently, everyone inside the room sweat dropped, but not the ones outside, Kakuzu was crying, and Hidan left the scene to play battleship with Tobi.

I almost forgot Gaara.

"Hey, Kisame!"

"What?" Cue embarrassed shark face thing.

"Have this sweater I made out of sand."

"COOOOL! –Shhh noise of putting it on- It's kinda itchy."

"You'll get used to it girl!"

Itachi's head popped at that, "Excuse me, but only I can call Kisame that, buzz off, little Goth!" Add in the immature tongue sticking out.

Gaara glared at him, he glared back, but Itachi wins. Itachi always wins that competition, unless if he wasn't actually staring at the person which is peculiar to do in a staring competition that involved staring, which would come from the root word stare. So, whatever, Gaara sobbed, saying something about how Itachi would pay for it.

And later that night there would be no chocolate ice cream.

Kisame scratched madly at the sweater until Deidara took it off, "He isn't here, hn!"

"And so, to conclude this story. You must have learned something, whether from dubs, to staring, to romance, to sitting on one's head, to stick out your tongue."

Orochimaru popped in, "I CAN-"

Me, "No."

"I have to finish this off at one thousand words, so I hope you had fun so far. This is my first humor fic, please review, but not harshly. Subway, eats flesh, and has a nice day!"

"Hey, Itachi?"

"What, Kisame?"

"Would you…"

"PICK MY NOSE! PLEASE, 'TACHI-SAMAAA!"

Itachi falls heavily on head, surprisingly not suffering from a head concussion after.

The end of the world, I mean.

THE END!

P.S: Elect Sasuke for dictator, you know you want to. Resistance. Is. Futile.