Please Don't Tell Her
Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.
Rating: Teen.
Author's Note: I am dedicating this chapter to Magical Princess. because she likes Rilo Kiley and since my obsessiveness of them keeps me writing this, so this is for you.
Luke backed up and left the doorway before anyone would catch him. He had heard the words coming from his daughters own mouth right? He now could see disjointed versions of events in his head. Anna hurting his child?
He wanted to go to her room and shake her and yell at her and rage at her and make her explain to him why and how it had happened. Why she would do such a thing, and Lorelai had to be there and listen to April's painful confession.
He had no idea what to do. This whole time he had been running on adrenaline. Probably since he watched Lorelai walk away from him when he rejected her idea to elope, he had that feeling. His heart beating almost painfully, the blood flowing too fast, his brain working at hyper drive and his senses going haywire.
He had heard that the side effect for Asthma Inhalers was the painful adrenaline rush that you would get. And he felt like he was using them all the time. He knew that your heart could pump only so much before it would stop. And he was almost at that point.
He had yet to break down. He had been almost stoic when it came to his daughter's accident, and just how serious it had been. The doctors really didn't know how she would be when she woke up, and they pretty much had the same theory about Anna. Only her injuries were much more serious.
The doctor had explained that her ribs were all broken, and had massive internal bleeding and had cranial bleeds. The doctor remarked that her injuries supported the idea that she had been literally crushed.
He had stopped trying to guess what had happened. He didn't want to hear the theories the police had, nor did he want them to continually ask April about it. Now that he had heard the very words he had heard from her mouth, he didn't want to know anything else.
He wanted to make sure that Anna was taken care of, he didn't want her to simply fade into the hospital, and he wanted to make April apart of his life, and that life meant Lorelei too.
He had a lot to do. He needed Lorelei to forgive him. He needed to find a sure fire way to make it that his past mistakes were forgotten. Or at least forgiven.
He saw Lorelai try to sneak out of the hospital room but she stopped. She turned around and saw Luke standing there. He could see, even if they were far from each other that her eyes were filled with tears. He stepped forward and Lorelai all but ran to him. She began to sob while he held her. Trying to soothe her. 'How could she do that to her?' Lorelai whispered. He continued to rub her back. 'I don't know.' He said and he held her while she cried.
He pushed down every need to cry himself, and he simply rubbed her back as she cried. Lorelai separated herself after a few minutes of crying and looked up at Luke.
'What are you going to do now?' Lorelai managed to ask him and Luke tried to think on why he hated that question so much. Hadn't he been beating hi mself up about it since the discovered Anna. 'they think that Anna will be in a permanent coma. ' Luke answered.
But that didn't answer her question. She wanted to know would April be in Stars hallow. What about all of her friends, and her school? Would he even consider her going to Chilton? Or any other pretigious private schools in the area. Would April like Stars hallow? And no matter how she felt, Lorelei wondered, if there was exactly a place for her in his plans?
'I need to wrap my head around..' Luke began and Lorelai nodded. She knew what he meant. He didn't need her anyhmore. So she got up.
'I told April that I am going to go away for awhile, so..' she said and then leaned in to hug him. 'You are a great father Luke, just like I knew you would be.' Lorelai said and she kissed him on the cheek and got up to go, while Luke tried not to call out for her.
Lorelai couldn't manage to leave the hospital, so instead she went and stood in front of the nursery and smiled at the innocent new faces. She found Jess standing there, and for the second time that day, she thought how strange that he was there when she needed saving.
'I never thought you would be here.' Lorelai told Jess and he shrugged. 'Most men doubt they will ever stand here, but they always do.' He remarked and they both chuckled at that thought.
'My daughter tells me that you own a bookstore?' Lorelai mentioned gently. She knew that Jess was very much there in her daughter's life, but Rory was still with Logan.
'Yeah it's in Philly. I part own it with my partners though.' HE said and it sounded to Lorelai that he was downgrading what he had accomplished.
'If I had my own Inn at your age, I would have been over the moon. That's great Jess. You are a great kid.' She said and Jess looked at her funny.
'I know that I was hard on you, hell everyone who ever met you was hard on you, but you had my Rory, and i wanted to make sure that she was ok. I should have realized that you were one of the best.'
Jess didn't say anything to that. 'I love her, I always have. I was an idiot then, and now I think it's too late.' Jess said more to himself than to Lorelai and she chuckled. He was offended that she would laugh at him but she shook her head.
'Logan is convenient, something easy for her. He is just what my parents want, and what she think is good for her. She loves you Jess. If she had mentioned you to me like she had as of late, trust me she loves you. She just doesn't know it yet.'
They are both silent, and Lorelai thinks back when she had been looking at Rory behind a glass window like this. She had her whole strange life ahead of her, and now it felt like it was over. Her prime over, and she suddenly felt very sad.
She felt like she could go now. 'Take care of him please.' She whispered to Jess and he nodded. 'He's an idiot for what he did. We are both idiots.' He said to her and she smiled. It was sweet of him to say it.
'well now it's too late.' She muttered and left without a second glance, and she didn't dare breath until she was on the highway, fara way from the hospital.
Lorelai didn't see Luke or speak to him for four days before she saw him again. Rory had come home from London with a few tears and explained that she broke up with Logan. She had been told by Honor that Logan was having 'some fun' with one of his father's assistants, and after that, she knew it was over.
Rory had been bitter when she had come home, and for the first time, both mother and daughter could wallow together, without some reservation. When watching Kate and Leopold, Rory had thrown a whole bowl of popcorn at the screen screaming 'Liar.'
It was sad that the Gilmore women had been used and abused by men while the Danes men were in turmoil over tragic events.
'Want to hear something odd?' Lorelai had asked Rory as they dug into Al's surprise bag they had picked up earlier. 'Mom, everything out of your mouth is odd.' And they both gave each other a look and smiled. 'Dirty!'
'Jess tried to help me at the hospital. He helped me say goodbye April, without Luke finding me. And he tried to make me feel better after a run in with Luke.'
Both Mother and daughter was silent. 'Logan was supposed to be the one I could depend on. Jess wasn't supposed to be the one I dream about.' Rory confessed to her mother and they both start to feel awkward.
'Let's eat.' Lorelai said trying to rescue her daughter from feeling worse than she already did.
The woman who lay still and unmoving, started to fade. She knew now her name was Anna. She had heard a woman gasp that name, and instinctively she knew that it was her name. She had heard a man, his voice drenched in pain curse her very name and presence, and she heard a woman's voice ask her questions she didn't understand.
Doctor's and researchers alike, always say that postive thinking always heals the body much quicker than negativity. But could a betrayal lead to a woman just to fade.
No longer did she try to scream out, begging someone to hear her, her struggles to break free from the fog had ceased. She simply just floated in the darkness, waiting for her to fade. She knew it was coming. It was instinctual.
She wished she could remember why the name April was so important. Why she felt a deep body numbing ache at the thought of leaving without this April. Instead she tried to forget and soak in the quiet, that had become her atmosphere.
A male voice entered her universe. 'Why would you do that to her Anna? Why would you become some hateful. I hate you. I hate you!' The voice cut through the darkness. Anna felt tired, and worn and guilty, but she didn' tknow why.
'I wish I could say that this is all your fault, but I can say that you are responsible for why she in that bed Anna. I really hope you never wake up, maybe that will help my daughter.'
The door slammed and the incessant beeping began to slow down. She knew that beeping was important, but she just stopped caring. She welcomed the silencing haze that was suddenly overcoming her.
Luke slammed the hospital door and came face to face with a nurse. He had to explain why he had been yelling at a unconscious women, without sounding crazy. The nurse looked at him sympathetically, as Luke told this women, a stranger, all that had gone wrong in his life.
Luke hadn't heard or seen Lorelai in days, and he felt that every minute that she was gone, meant the more time that he would be shut out of her life. He heard that she was seen around the town, so she wasn't in London, she was reachable, and yet he could do nothing.
Anna had simply slipped away during the night, the doctor's had informed him, and he had to explain to April what happened. She had been strangely stoic, and accepted it and had not said another word to him since. He needed Lorelai, but would not call her. His nephew, the one that everyone deemed a lost cause, had given him a talk about letting her go.
Jess had been the one to tell him how raggard Lorelai had looked to him. How defeated she looked, and that was something that Luke never wnted to be accused of. Breaking a woman like Lorelai.
And next night, after having to track down Anna's relatives and trying to explain to them what had happened, and finding Anna's brother, Lorelai just appears. She looks calmer, her hair shiny and back form her face and she even tried to smile at him. She was something that suddenly made Luke just lose it.
He saw her and all he wanted to do was break down and cry, and he managed to wait until she was there. A few tears managed to escape and then the dam broke. He cried for every injustice that he had witnessed in the last week. He cried for the death of his parents, and the pain he had had over the years was finally released.
Lorelai just held him as he cried. How appropriate Lorelai thought, he had held her as she cried, and now she held him. The problem was, with each sob that escaped, it made Lorelai love him more.
'I don't know what iam going to do, Anna is dead, and you are gone.' Luke whispered muffled by Lorelai's hair. Lorelai had used her mothering skills hoping that she could comfort him. 'It will be alright Luke, it will be alright. You have to be there for April.' Lorelai said gently, and it caused him to shake even more.
'I love you Lorelai' Luke cried and she felt her shoulder become wet with his tears. 'I know you do.' Lorelai replied, and all the while, begging herself to be able to tell Luke just how she felt.
TBC
So here is the next part, as it was demanded to be updated, so for all of those who are inpatient like me, here it is.
And if this is a little harlequin for everybody, blame it on London's theatre. I guess the melodramatic diva in me is coming out. Look out fanfiction, here I come.
Hehe.. wow this heatwave is getting to me.
Loves and cuddles!
HOPE YOU LIKE IT!
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL THE US IANS!
The song list that I forgot about before is.. HERE
Chapter 7: Trouble by Coldplay… one of their best songs.. yay!
Chapter 8: Sea of Doubts by Azure Ray. Also a cool and great band. Le sigh.
Chapter 9: These Walls by Teddy Geiger. Good things about him have been said. To be honest, this is a fake chapter name. My sister played the Mama Mia cd over and over and over for three days straight, and there is no song on Mama Mia that matched the chapter.. so I lied. So sue me… or don't, cause I don't like to be sued. It's not fun!
Chapter 10: Mercy by Pilate. This was my theme song for the first month of my miserable semester at school. Pilate is the music of my soul at times.
And this chapter is Sentimental Journey by Sandra Dee. This awesome song was on the greatest compliation I have ever found. You want great depressing song on a collection, go to England.
Well I have blathered on for a long time, it's kinda sad. So … ta ta for now..