Heylo! Okay, this is a kind of weird, OOC chapter. Well, it's just… I dunno. Weird.

Me: I don't like the beginning of Kill Caustic. You're all spaced out from Prelude 12/21 then suddenly –REALLY LOUD GUITAR--. I like it once you get like 20 seconds into the song. I love the video to Miss Murder, though. Oh, at the end of Affliction, when they have like two minutes of weird random tunes… that's weird.

Um… sorry it took so long to update. My sister has been playing with my computer and installed this firewall ad blocker thing so that I can only go on like, four websites. She's like 'oh, it makes you so saffee' and I'm like 'yeah, just like my foot in your ass makes me safe'. So apparently I have to like add every website I want to go to onto a list and it really annoys me.

Ooh, my hair is a REALLY great shade of blue. I love it. It's like aquamariney…ish… the underside of it is black

I'm happy :)

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

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He watched her enter his room, shutting the door behind her. In one hand she held the book, and in the other she held a thing. He looked at it distastefully until she came closer and he saw that it was a patched, threadbare teddy bear.

Mahiru saw him staring and held out her bear so he could get a better look "Meet Mr. Perfect. Or Pear. Or Pear Bear. He was a present from my mom before she died." She squeezed it to her chest and plopped into the armchair, balling herself up against the cold. "It's freezing in here."

Akito stared at the ceiling. "I'm burning."

"Yeah, but if you don't bundle up you're gonna get sicker." 'I think… isn't that what Hatori said?'

Akito gave her a dirty look. She shrugged and began to read, and after about fifteen minutes gave up.

"I'm seriously freezing to death in here! Can I close the windows?"

"No!" Akito snapped.

"At least the shoji doors then?" When he didn't answer right away, Mahiru jumped up and slammed the doors shut. She then dropped back into the chair, still freezing. Akito rolled over on his bed until he was lying on his side, facing her, and only about a foot away.

He held out one hand. Mahiru caught herself from looking around to see who he was reaching for, and hesitantly put her hand in his. She jumped slightly. Akito hadn't been joking, he was burning. It felt nice after the freezing room, but she was almost afraid that her bones were going to crack.

After she got used to the heat, she came to like the warmth. The rest of her body felt even colder, though. She slid off the chair and kneeled by the side of Akito's bed. He still had one of her hands in his grasp, and he was holding it in both of his, and he looked to be sleeping.

Mahiru cautiously placed her other hand on his cheek. His eyes flew open for a second and then drooped again. Mahiru sighed.

"You're really warm."

He grunted.

"I'm really cold…"

"Then get a blanket." Mahiru stood and gently took her hands back. Akito groaned and curled up into a tiny ball. She started gathering the blankets from his bed, remaking it. She tucked Akito in. He opened his eyes and glared at her furiously, trying to push them off. Mahiru held them on with one hand. "Stop it." He commanded.

Mahiru ignored him. "But I'm still cold…" she mused to herself. She looked down at him, still struggling against the blankets "I could always leave."

"Witch." He spat.

"Alright." Mahiru grabbed her teddy bear and her book and started for the door. She turned around to see Akito throwing off the blankets. She went back to tuck him in again. "Keep them on." she told him sternly.

"No." he said, his command voice better. 'Well, he's had more practice…' Mahiru mused to herself.

"Yes." 'Wait, why do I care again?' Mahiru turned to leave again, and then resignedly turned around 'Ugh… I do care. And I know why. Ew' She pulled the blankets around him again.

"Get OUT!" Akito fought her until she smothered him in blankets. He was able to get one hand out and grabbed her arm. She took his hand in both of hers. He tried to tug it away from her "Let go." He snarled.

"Nope. Has that ever worked?" She smiled at him.

"You have to obey me." Akito growled at her.

"No. I don't. You're not my God. You can kick me out, and order my memories erased. I would be unhappy, but I would obey you then, because it's your house, and you're family." She sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand carefully but firmly, making sure he couldn't yank it away "I would be sad to forget you, Sohma-sama." She was fascinated by the translucent paleness of the skin of his face.

"…what are you doing?" Mahiru jumped. She had been stroking his cheek.

"Uh, sorry." She stood up, releasing her concrete grip on his hand. She was surprised when he didn't let go. She kneeled by the edge of his bed. He turned away from her, bringing her hand with him. Mahiru found herself in a very awkward position, half-lying across Akito's bed, one arm wrapped around him strangely. She felt him shudder, his breathing irregular.

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Akito held on to her hand as though his life depended on it. It still held wisps of the coolness he lacked. He was burning. Why didn't she understand that! He curled up tighter. Oh, God, it hurt…

He was supposed to be powerful. He was supposed to be strong.

But it hurt too much.

He shuddered again, desperately trying to breath. For some reason he felt that the air was escaping before it entered his lungs. He gasped, afraid of suffocation.

"Um… Aki- Sohma-sama?" The girl. He squeezed her hand. "This is… kind of uncomfortable. Could you… I dunno."

He squeezed her hand again and then flung it away from him. 'That's right. Just leave. Like all the rest of them.' He turned his face into the mattress 'Don't go…Please stay.' He begged her silently.

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The cold room made it feel as though Mahiru's hand had been turned inside out. She shook it to get rid of the feeling. She tried to stand, but she was too comfortable. She was almost warm lying on the bed. She curled up on it and yawned. It was late. She'd already missed one day of school. She shouldn't miss another. Again she tried to get up, but sunk back into the bed. She cursed whatever extremely amazing material Akito's mattress was made out of. She reached over and took Pear off of the chair he had been sitting on and hugged him. Akito breathed heavily behind her, making little gasping noises and shaking. She put a hand on his too thin shoulder.

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'She didn't leave…' Akito noticed with faint surprise. He rolled over to face her. He could feel the coolness rolling off of her skin.

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Mahiru gazed at Akito. He had turned around to face her, looking at her for a few minutes before his eyes closed. She didn't think he was asleep, but he definitely wasn't all there. "Do you want me to stay?" she whispered to him.

She was about to try again, thinking he hadn't heard her, when he nodded slowly.

She smiled a little "You yelled at me for staying before."

Akito sighed and shuddered, pushing against the blankets. She grabbed his wrists to stop him. He relaxed into her inelegant embrace. He snuggled closer to her.

"Um…Sohma-sama?" Mahiru was sure he was going to be mad when he woke up.

"What?" he muttered.

"Are you going to be mad later?"

He shook his head, pressing against her. "You're cold…" he observed sleepily.

"Yeah. I know." He pressed his forehead onto her shoulder, scalding her. "Ow" Mahiru bit her lip. If it was this painful for her, she imagined how it was for him.

Long after Akito passed out, Mahiru lay awake, stroking his hair and rubbing his back. Every time he showed discomfort, she would hush him. Slowly, his temperature went down during the night. Finally, she drifted off.

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Akito woke with the girl for the second time. He was cradled in her arms, one of her hands resting on his forehead. She had stayed. All night, even after he was asleep. He smiled to himself, and then coughed.

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Mahiru was again awakened by Akito's coughing. His head was pillowed on her stomach with one of her arms around his middle, and the other resting on his head. Slowly the coughs subsided and left him gasping for breath. She unconsciously stroked his cheek. Akito looked up at her. She met his gaze levelly, but didn't stop caressing him.

Akito looked away "Thank you." His voice was rough and breathless. He coughed again.

"You're welcome." Mahiru murmured, pressing her lips momentarily against his forehead in a soft kiss. His head wasn't as hot, but it was still way warmer than was normal. She then froze 'Holy shit. I didn't just do that. He's awake. Holy shit…' she forced herself to breathe normally. She had the urge to smack herself.

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Akito felt her stiffen. The Jyuunishi did that when they accidentally told him something. Usually something they didn't want him to know. Like they were in love. He wanted to laugh whenever one of them told him they were in love. Love. Like it even existed. Akito wanted to snort. For some reason, though, he felt himself unable to scoff at the notion as he had before. The idea of wanting to be with someone, to stay with them. Feeling that way about someone was one of Akito's main rules. It was a BIG no-no.

But he wanted to be with her.

He wanted to stay with her.

And he wanted her to feel that way about him, too. He knew he could order her to stay with him. If she disobeyed, he could threaten to kick her out. Akito knew she had nowhere to go. But he wanted her to come to him of her own free will. He didn't want to have to call her like he did the Jyuunishi. He would even settle for the psychotic love his mother had shared with his father, her want of him consuming her until she was unable to even think kindly of her only son. Her dying only son. Akito shuddered. Why would any girl want to stay with him? Out of pity or fear. No one would ever truly love him.

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Mahiru wanted to spit it out. She had an insane urge. She just wanted to stand up and say 'AKITO I LOVE YOU'. She had no idea where the thought came from. It was just a random urge. Like when she'd had her first kiss, and wanted to tell her mother so badly. Her mother who then grounded her for three months… She fought the words down.

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Akito decided he didn't care if she didn't love him back. He could fool himself. He was going to die soon anyway. He strained to raise himself on his elbows so he wasn't leaning on her. He looked at her fully. She looked confused with the intensity of his gaze, and he smirked sadly to himself. He reached one hand out and grasped her chin, forcing her face forward until their lips met. He crushed his mouth against hers until he had to let her go, unable to hold his position, and he flopped back onto the mattress, breathing heavily.

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Ohh, what now? Anyway… remember EXACTLY where this chapter ended for the last one. Lalalala…..

I told you it was a kind of bad chapter… but it had to happen. Akito's so hard to write! TT.TT

Review now!