DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing. Things I own: ________!!! Got it?
Nothing! Own no characters, places, histories, anything that you recognize
belongs to the great J. K. Rowling! (although after the fifth book some
people are worried.)
AN: Don't worry, this story will NOT become slash *shivers involuntarily * And I know I only waited for four reviews but I couldn't wait any longer (plus one of my friends is anxious)
AN2: Guess what? I just found my dad's Latin translation dictionary, so I can look up words! (I now know what Draco, Severus, Nemo, and various other interesting things based on Latin mean in English. If you're curious ask and I'll leave the answer in an AN some time.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was cold when Remus started out for Azkaban that morning. He hadn't slept enough the past three days while he had been thinking about Sirius Black, the Betrayer.
Remus had been wondering for the longest time how he was going to ask the traitor why. It seemed such a simple question: Why?
Remus' journey on the boat was a short one. The shore of the island holding Azkaban drew near too quickly for comfort.
Remus reached the shore. There was a guard standing by the gate, who held out his hand when Remus approached. Remus handed him a small bronze key and a larger silver one (wrapped in cloth to protect Remus' hand). The man nodded and unlocked the large gate with one of his own keys and then led Remus into a long dark passageway. When they made it to the end of the longest hallway, the man took out the small bronze key and placed it into the lock. He turned it left, opened the door, closed the door, turned it right, opened the door again, then handed the silver key back to Remus.
"I have to go back to my post," the man said, "but the dementors know why you're here. They'll take you to your- er- friend."
Remus blinked. A dementor. The werewolf shivered just thinking about them.
"Alright," the man continued, "you'll just have to turn left here, walk until you reach a door with a red handprint on it, turn the silver key left, then right, and then go in. There'll be a dementor waiting for you there. Follow him until he stops. That's where Black's cell is."
Remus nodded mutely. Without looking back, he set off to find the dementor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Remus entered the door with the red handprint, he found a dementor waiting for him, as promised.
The dementor led the werewolf down another stone hallway until finally it slowed down, then stopped. Remus had hardly noticed, for the dementor had been smothering him in cold, dark thoughts of betrayal and lies.
Finally Remus realized his guide had stopped and he stopped too. He cautiously stepped over to another door. This one had a small window in the top, it's bars evenly spaced, not even big enough to let an entire hand through. Remus wished he had thought to bring a torch or candle or something. Remus let his eyes adjust (he noticed they were adjusting rather slower than usual).
Stepping closer to the cell, Remus could see a thin figure sitting cross- legged on the floor, facing the wall to the left of the door. His eyes were closed tightly, but his ears seemed to be pricked up, waiting for the slightest sound to come his way. Remus waited. The thin figure didn't move.
Remus opened his ears for any sound coming from the person in the cell. He could barely hear it, but the man was mumbling something. The werewolf's enhanced hearing deciphered the word 'innocent'. Remus was repulsed. He strained to hear more.
'wasn't me, dementor, go away. I'm innocent.'
Remus began to count. Eight. Nine. Ten. Remus could tell why so many people had wasted away in Azkaban- that cell was tiny it couldn't have been five feet across. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. At last, the figure stirred.
Staring at Sirius Black, Remus realized that he had changed more than he had thought possible. As the convict stood and turned to look at Remus, he could see a haunted, deadened look in his eyes. His hair, just below the shoulders, was tangled to the point of being matted.
The man who didn't look like Sirius Black stood up slowly and extended his hand, clasping it partially around one of the cold metal bars. Before Remus could say anything, Sirius turned to the wall and set his head against it, silently. Stunned, Remus stood and stared blankly at the wasted figure before him. Wouldn't a mad-man be begging to be set free? Shouldn't Sirius be trying to force his hand through the bars to strangle him?
Remus just stood there at the door of the cell, staring at the back of the exhausted man's head.
Finally, Sirius turned back around and made a strangely strangled, coughing noise in his throat. Remus couldn't tell whether he was simply trying to be acknowledged or if he was trying to say something.
Remus kept his face unreadable. "I want to know,"
The hateful betrayer made another noise in the back of his throat, and then formed a word Remus could barely distinguish, "What?"
Sirius looked confused and stunned, Remus thought.
"Why did you do it?" Remus persisted.
Sirius turned his eyes so they bore into Remus'. Remus resisted the urge to back away.
"You think I betrayed them," the murderer stated.
"You did," Remus growled.
Sirius' eyes remained on Remus, but now they seemed full of sadness, rather than emptiness.
"I didn't betray them." He said simply.
"What?!" Remus screamed, "You killed them, you instrument of malevolence, you deserve this cell!"
"I know I killed them, I know I deserve this cell," the convict said, his voice raspy and broken, "but I didn't betray them. I would never betray James and Lily."
"You killed them, but you didn't betray them.." Remus said sourly, "I find that hard to believe, Black."
The convict winced, "Sorry, Remus," he said, "I'm so sorry."
Disgusted, Remus turned to go- he had had enough! The man wasn't going to tell him anything.
"Wait," called the man in the cell. Remus turned back frowning and the criminal continued, "I know you don't believe me, but please.. just answer me one thing."
"Fine," Remus snapped angrily.
"Did they ever find Peter?"
Remus' breath caught in his throat. What kind of question was that? Black had blown him to bits- how could they find him?!
"Did they ever find Peter," Remus repeated slowly. Sirius nodded. "How the Hell could anyone find Peter? You killed the innocent boy- blew him to bits! Yes I know all about that! Well, yes they did find Peter. The biggest bit of him you left? A FINGER!"
Remus was panting by the end of his speech.
"Damn," the convict muttered, running his hand through his hair, "damn."
"You didn't think we would find out?" Remus yelled, "Did you think you had blown him apart nicely, efficiently?"
"No," said the man in the cell, "Remus, will you promise me th-"
"I'm not gonna promise you anything you lying, deceiving-"
"Remus!" the prisoner interrupted, "I swear I didn't do it. I swear I wouldn't hurt them! It was the Rat!"
"You were their secret-keeper!" Remus screeched at the top of his voice.
Sirius Black shook his head sadly and turned away again, "It was the Rat," he repeated, his voice reverberating off the walls of his small cell.
"I can't believe you! Killed James and Lily and Peter, and then you blame it on PETER! How in Merlin's name can you do that? Had a lot of practice lying outright to your friends, did you? You'd been planning to kill them for-"
Again Sirius cut him off, whirling around to face Remus again, his eyes blazing with unseen fire, "You must find the Rat, Remus. Kill the Rat. The Rat killed James. The Rat killed Lily. The Rat put me in this-" Sirius walked to the wall and slammed his hand against it roughly, "locked me in here with those bloody dementors!"
Remus noted that the convict's voice was slowly becoming weaker again from his wearing it out, but Sirius didn't seem to want to stop.
"I'm innocent! I didn't do anything but believe the bloody Rat! He lied to us, Remus! Lied to James and Lily and me! Lied to Dumbledore! Only person he didn't lie to was bloody Voldemort!"
Remus flinched at the name.
"Remember what Dumbledore said, Remus?" Sirius continued, his voice threatening to die, "'Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself.' Don't fear Voldemort's name. Peter still did last I knew. He flinched when I mentioned his master in the street that day, before he killed the muggles."
'Sirius' story is crazy, Peter couldn't have been James and Lily's secret keeper- someone would have told me.' Remus thought, 'unless. ..'
"If you changed secret keepers, why didn't you tell me?" Remus demanded.
Sirius hung his head. Had he been Padfoot, his tail would have been between his legs. "I- I thought it was you, Remus. I don't know why I couldn't see it was Peter! How could I blame you?! I thought. . ." there Sirius' voice finally did die. His mouth continued to move and he tried to clear his throat a number of times.
"I don't believe you, Black." Remus said, sadly, "I want to believe you, but I can't. Peter always was the innocent one, I don't know why you tried blaming it on him. You should have known I wouldn't buy that."
The man behind the cell door inched as close as he could get to the door without touching the bars and whispered hoarsely, "No, Remus, it wasn't me. It was Peter."
Remus was startled to see Sirius' eyes were brimming with tears. The convict turned away and tried not to let Remus see him as he wiped the tears away on his sleeve.
Remus was debating whether to believe Sirius was really crying, or whether those were forced tears. The werewolf couldn't remember Sirius ever crying at school, real or fake. If he was pretending, he was doing it very well considering his being surrounded by the dementors so long.
The convict suddenly whirled around and put his nose between the bars, whispering, "Remus, believe me. You have to believe me. I would never betray James and Lily and- and Harry. I'm his godfather!"
"You're his godfather," Remus repeated, more to himself than to Sirius, "little Harry Potter- he's almost eleven now, he'll be starting Hogwarts soon."
Suddenly, the convict let out a moaning sound from the back of his throat and collapsed onto the floor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Review if you want to.
AN: Don't worry, this story will NOT become slash *shivers involuntarily * And I know I only waited for four reviews but I couldn't wait any longer (plus one of my friends is anxious)
AN2: Guess what? I just found my dad's Latin translation dictionary, so I can look up words! (I now know what Draco, Severus, Nemo, and various other interesting things based on Latin mean in English. If you're curious ask and I'll leave the answer in an AN some time.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was cold when Remus started out for Azkaban that morning. He hadn't slept enough the past three days while he had been thinking about Sirius Black, the Betrayer.
Remus had been wondering for the longest time how he was going to ask the traitor why. It seemed such a simple question: Why?
Remus' journey on the boat was a short one. The shore of the island holding Azkaban drew near too quickly for comfort.
Remus reached the shore. There was a guard standing by the gate, who held out his hand when Remus approached. Remus handed him a small bronze key and a larger silver one (wrapped in cloth to protect Remus' hand). The man nodded and unlocked the large gate with one of his own keys and then led Remus into a long dark passageway. When they made it to the end of the longest hallway, the man took out the small bronze key and placed it into the lock. He turned it left, opened the door, closed the door, turned it right, opened the door again, then handed the silver key back to Remus.
"I have to go back to my post," the man said, "but the dementors know why you're here. They'll take you to your- er- friend."
Remus blinked. A dementor. The werewolf shivered just thinking about them.
"Alright," the man continued, "you'll just have to turn left here, walk until you reach a door with a red handprint on it, turn the silver key left, then right, and then go in. There'll be a dementor waiting for you there. Follow him until he stops. That's where Black's cell is."
Remus nodded mutely. Without looking back, he set off to find the dementor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Remus entered the door with the red handprint, he found a dementor waiting for him, as promised.
The dementor led the werewolf down another stone hallway until finally it slowed down, then stopped. Remus had hardly noticed, for the dementor had been smothering him in cold, dark thoughts of betrayal and lies.
Finally Remus realized his guide had stopped and he stopped too. He cautiously stepped over to another door. This one had a small window in the top, it's bars evenly spaced, not even big enough to let an entire hand through. Remus wished he had thought to bring a torch or candle or something. Remus let his eyes adjust (he noticed they were adjusting rather slower than usual).
Stepping closer to the cell, Remus could see a thin figure sitting cross- legged on the floor, facing the wall to the left of the door. His eyes were closed tightly, but his ears seemed to be pricked up, waiting for the slightest sound to come his way. Remus waited. The thin figure didn't move.
Remus opened his ears for any sound coming from the person in the cell. He could barely hear it, but the man was mumbling something. The werewolf's enhanced hearing deciphered the word 'innocent'. Remus was repulsed. He strained to hear more.
'wasn't me, dementor, go away. I'm innocent.'
Remus began to count. Eight. Nine. Ten. Remus could tell why so many people had wasted away in Azkaban- that cell was tiny it couldn't have been five feet across. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. At last, the figure stirred.
Staring at Sirius Black, Remus realized that he had changed more than he had thought possible. As the convict stood and turned to look at Remus, he could see a haunted, deadened look in his eyes. His hair, just below the shoulders, was tangled to the point of being matted.
The man who didn't look like Sirius Black stood up slowly and extended his hand, clasping it partially around one of the cold metal bars. Before Remus could say anything, Sirius turned to the wall and set his head against it, silently. Stunned, Remus stood and stared blankly at the wasted figure before him. Wouldn't a mad-man be begging to be set free? Shouldn't Sirius be trying to force his hand through the bars to strangle him?
Remus just stood there at the door of the cell, staring at the back of the exhausted man's head.
Finally, Sirius turned back around and made a strangely strangled, coughing noise in his throat. Remus couldn't tell whether he was simply trying to be acknowledged or if he was trying to say something.
Remus kept his face unreadable. "I want to know,"
The hateful betrayer made another noise in the back of his throat, and then formed a word Remus could barely distinguish, "What?"
Sirius looked confused and stunned, Remus thought.
"Why did you do it?" Remus persisted.
Sirius turned his eyes so they bore into Remus'. Remus resisted the urge to back away.
"You think I betrayed them," the murderer stated.
"You did," Remus growled.
Sirius' eyes remained on Remus, but now they seemed full of sadness, rather than emptiness.
"I didn't betray them." He said simply.
"What?!" Remus screamed, "You killed them, you instrument of malevolence, you deserve this cell!"
"I know I killed them, I know I deserve this cell," the convict said, his voice raspy and broken, "but I didn't betray them. I would never betray James and Lily."
"You killed them, but you didn't betray them.." Remus said sourly, "I find that hard to believe, Black."
The convict winced, "Sorry, Remus," he said, "I'm so sorry."
Disgusted, Remus turned to go- he had had enough! The man wasn't going to tell him anything.
"Wait," called the man in the cell. Remus turned back frowning and the criminal continued, "I know you don't believe me, but please.. just answer me one thing."
"Fine," Remus snapped angrily.
"Did they ever find Peter?"
Remus' breath caught in his throat. What kind of question was that? Black had blown him to bits- how could they find him?!
"Did they ever find Peter," Remus repeated slowly. Sirius nodded. "How the Hell could anyone find Peter? You killed the innocent boy- blew him to bits! Yes I know all about that! Well, yes they did find Peter. The biggest bit of him you left? A FINGER!"
Remus was panting by the end of his speech.
"Damn," the convict muttered, running his hand through his hair, "damn."
"You didn't think we would find out?" Remus yelled, "Did you think you had blown him apart nicely, efficiently?"
"No," said the man in the cell, "Remus, will you promise me th-"
"I'm not gonna promise you anything you lying, deceiving-"
"Remus!" the prisoner interrupted, "I swear I didn't do it. I swear I wouldn't hurt them! It was the Rat!"
"You were their secret-keeper!" Remus screeched at the top of his voice.
Sirius Black shook his head sadly and turned away again, "It was the Rat," he repeated, his voice reverberating off the walls of his small cell.
"I can't believe you! Killed James and Lily and Peter, and then you blame it on PETER! How in Merlin's name can you do that? Had a lot of practice lying outright to your friends, did you? You'd been planning to kill them for-"
Again Sirius cut him off, whirling around to face Remus again, his eyes blazing with unseen fire, "You must find the Rat, Remus. Kill the Rat. The Rat killed James. The Rat killed Lily. The Rat put me in this-" Sirius walked to the wall and slammed his hand against it roughly, "locked me in here with those bloody dementors!"
Remus noted that the convict's voice was slowly becoming weaker again from his wearing it out, but Sirius didn't seem to want to stop.
"I'm innocent! I didn't do anything but believe the bloody Rat! He lied to us, Remus! Lied to James and Lily and me! Lied to Dumbledore! Only person he didn't lie to was bloody Voldemort!"
Remus flinched at the name.
"Remember what Dumbledore said, Remus?" Sirius continued, his voice threatening to die, "'Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself.' Don't fear Voldemort's name. Peter still did last I knew. He flinched when I mentioned his master in the street that day, before he killed the muggles."
'Sirius' story is crazy, Peter couldn't have been James and Lily's secret keeper- someone would have told me.' Remus thought, 'unless. ..'
"If you changed secret keepers, why didn't you tell me?" Remus demanded.
Sirius hung his head. Had he been Padfoot, his tail would have been between his legs. "I- I thought it was you, Remus. I don't know why I couldn't see it was Peter! How could I blame you?! I thought. . ." there Sirius' voice finally did die. His mouth continued to move and he tried to clear his throat a number of times.
"I don't believe you, Black." Remus said, sadly, "I want to believe you, but I can't. Peter always was the innocent one, I don't know why you tried blaming it on him. You should have known I wouldn't buy that."
The man behind the cell door inched as close as he could get to the door without touching the bars and whispered hoarsely, "No, Remus, it wasn't me. It was Peter."
Remus was startled to see Sirius' eyes were brimming with tears. The convict turned away and tried not to let Remus see him as he wiped the tears away on his sleeve.
Remus was debating whether to believe Sirius was really crying, or whether those were forced tears. The werewolf couldn't remember Sirius ever crying at school, real or fake. If he was pretending, he was doing it very well considering his being surrounded by the dementors so long.
The convict suddenly whirled around and put his nose between the bars, whispering, "Remus, believe me. You have to believe me. I would never betray James and Lily and- and Harry. I'm his godfather!"
"You're his godfather," Remus repeated, more to himself than to Sirius, "little Harry Potter- he's almost eleven now, he'll be starting Hogwarts soon."
Suddenly, the convict let out a moaning sound from the back of his throat and collapsed onto the floor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Review if you want to.