A tense silence reigns over the room. It is always like this when she is alone with her Master. Her hands work a tad more clumsily than usual as she cleans and prepares her Halconnen, wiping streaks of caked blood and chunks of unidentifiable gore from the weapon. On the table between them lie the new bullets Walter brought her. Hellsing's first workable quicksilver mix. The bullets glow eerily, daring Seras to touch them without the thick gloves that lie ready beside them.
She risks a glance at her Master. Tonight the mission went a little strangely. Oh, there was a force of ghouls, as is the usual when dealing with Freaks, but killing them, and their keepers, did not bring a smile to her sire's face. 'How strange.'
She expects him to scold her for her thoughts, berating her, even injuring her as he does anytime he is near. His presence in her room after the mission just adds to the peculiarity of the entire evening. The fact that he has been sitting across from her for an hour whilst she cleans her gun, without a word, without so much as a chuckle, verges on the bizarre.
She allows her eyes to travel to his face, hands working mechanically across the dull surface of her weapon, and she realises that he is, well, deep in thought. His crimson eyes are fixed intently on the bullets on the table; there is a darkness in them that sends a shiver down her spine. Seras feels a twinge inside her and wonders suddenly, for the first time. Is the darkness really him, or is it something that he is drowning inside of?
Even now, it would seem, that her thoughts are not worth his time. The look in his eyes though; she cannot tear her gaze away. She has seen it before in battle-jaded soldiers, the time when they have seen so much, so much it would seem and no more. The look they get right before they…
His white-gloved hand comes slowly upwards, slender fingers, covered only by slight silk, reach for one of the bullets, like a puppet to a hypnotist he reaches for oblivion. "Master?" His hand pauses, hovering over the little silver pill, silk reflecting its venomous light. His eyes do not leave the bullet. "Yes Police Girl." His baritone is tired, weary of the world, or perhaps, himself.
"Master… I don't think…" His eyes flash up to hers and anger mars his handsome features. "You don't think what Police Girl?" Seras cowers before his anger and his eyes narrow as he scans her mind. A grin splits his jaw. "Am I not a monster Police Girl?" The malice in his tone clashes with the smirk on his face sending shivers down her back. "Surely the world would gladly be rid of one more monster?" Seras feels tears prick her eyes at his words. "But Master, I don't want…" He stands suddenly, rage written all over his features. "You don't want what Police Girl? You don't want to be here? You don't want to drink your blood? You don't want to kill, you don't want to die, you don't want to be the only one?" His voice storms in her sensitive ears. Seras is unable to cower back in her chair any more. A grin plays across his facade. "A creature that wants a monster to live," He toys with the words, rolling them off his tongue as if he is reaching an amazing conclusion, "surely that makes you as much a monster as I?" Seras shakes her head and his chuckle cuts through the cold air. "Or perhaps it is something else Police Girl? Perhaps it is something you do want?" His smirk holds a leering quality as he stands and moves to her side. He takes the arms of her wooden chair and swings her around to face him, trapping her between his limbs, he stands between her knees, leaning far closer than the norm. "Perhaps it is something you long for Police Girl?" He leans forward to inhale her scent, his eyes fixed on the mark of her sire.
Seras is frozen, her body rigid against his entrapment. He lifts a hand to caress her collarbone. "How fragile humanity is." His voice holds a void of longing. "The touch of a monster will always shatter it." She makes a small sound as his fingertips dip into the hollow of her neck. "Is that what you want Seras? Do you want my body Seras? Surely you, so very humane, cannot want a monster…" His voice catches and comprehension floods her assaulted senses. His taunting is not hers alone. "Is it that you do not wish to be alone?" He questions her without curiosity.
She lifts a small hand and haltingly, brings it to cup the plane of his cheek. "Master." His face rises to hers, their noses mere inches apart. His crimson orbs hold such loathing and in return, she smiles. "No monster could feel such guilt."
I guess this is becoming a series of oneshots of sorts. I apologise for the flavor, but it is reflective of the information I have gleaned about the manga. (first volume is due here in Aust in August) It would seem that the anime was never as in depth (as if they ever are) and I can't wait for the opportunity to explore the differences in characterization.