OK this isn't as long as the last chapter, but it's not ridiculously sort either. I was going to keep the choice a secret until next week because I didn't know myself, until last night, who he was going to choose.
I watched Calleigh and Eric share a small laugh as Ryan left the garage to attend an autopsy.
"Head trauma?"
"Uh huh."
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"Alexx? This guy doesn't have a head!"
I could tell that Alexx was trying hard not to burst out laughing at the shocked look on Ryan's face.
She had been boiling a skull to get some clear tool marks, but Eric and Calleigh had sent Ryan to help her.
Ryan came close to throwing up, so Alexx had him deliver something she had found to trace.
As soon as he left, Alexx and I shared a laugh.
"Timmy, do you remember when you sent Eric to his first head trauma?"
"Yeah, I remember! He threw up didn't he?"
"Uh huh. And didn't Calleigh throw up on you?"
"Yeah but that wasn't funny!"
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It was good for me to remember and laugh at the past.
It distracted me from the impossible decision I was facing.
It had been twelve hours since I had been told what I had to do and I was still no closer to making my decision.
I had decided not to tell Alexx about it, that it would be unfair on her.
Now though… I was feeling that I couldn't make the decision without help.
"Alexx, I need to talk to you."
"Sure honey. What about?"
"Um… this is difficult. Do you believe in guardian angels Alexx? That every person has a spirit watching over them?"
She nodded.
"Someone came to see me yesterday. She told me that I could be the guardian of one of my friends. She said I had twenty-four hours to decide who."
Alexx nodded again. Nothing I had said seemed to faze her at all.
"I can't help you Timmy. It has to be your choice. I don't want to change how you truly feel. You have to do this."
"Alex, you don't think I haven't been trying? I can't choose between you. This team have been like a family to me. Horatio like a father, Eric and Calleigh like a brother and sister. You are like a mother. Asking me to choose one of you is like asking me which of my family I love most."
"I'm sorry Timmy."
She left the morgue, her eyes glistening with tears.
Now, I can ask no-one to help me with my choice and I am still no closer to making my decision.
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I spent the next few hours watching my team.
My friends.
My family.
I was so confused. The only person I am sure I'm not going to choose is Ryan.
Alexx. I owe her so much. Without her I don't think I would have survived. She helped me through the lows of my life, and death.
Horatio. He taught me everything I know. There is so much I have to thank him for, but never had the chance. This could be my way to repay him.
But he is so selfless that he wouldn't want me to choose him. He would want another person to have help.
Calleigh. I could just see her if she knew what I was thinking. I know she can look after herself, as she has proved countless times, but I can't help thinking about the unspoken pact. I feel that I should live up to it, even now. And she helped clear me with my gun. She made sure that I didn't have a bad name.
Eric. My best friend in the team. He stood by me my whole life. We were always side-by-side. Why should that change now?
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Horatio, Calleigh, Alexx or Eric?
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My time was nearly up. I would be visited in the next few minutes. Alexx was watching me struggle to decide.
"Timmy?" she called across the room, "You'll be alright. You made the right choice, whoever it is."
"Thanks Alexx."
Suddenly, white light filled the autopsy theatre and the air felt warm and heavy, as it had done the previous night.
I knew that the time had come.
Sure enough, I saw the beautiful black woman materialise nearby.
"Tim Speedle," she said. "Come with me."
She offered me her hand, which I took.
She led me out of the morgue and I suddenly found myself in a huge and beautiful garden. There was a huge blue lake stretched out in front of me, which shimmered in the low sunlight. She sat down on a bench and I had no choice but to follow her lead.
"Tim, have you made your decision?"
I hadn't. I was going to explain to her that I couldn't choose one person out of my friends.
"I'm sorry, but…"
I realised that I didn't know her name. I was about to ask, when she answered for me.
"I do not have a name, but if you wish, you may call me Eve."
I nodded my understanding.
"Eve. I'm sorry, but I need more time. I can't choose one of my friends from the others."
I blurted everything out very fast, and I wasn't totally sure that she understood. Obviously, she did.
"tim. This happens everytime a spirit is offered the chance to be a guardian angel. They cannot choose between their loved ones. You have to look deep down inside you and find the right answer. I can see that you have chosen, in your heart. Just let your head accept your choice."
I wasn't quite sure what was meant by this. She stood up to leave, to give me some time, but had an afterthought.
"Remember Tim. You will still see the whole team. You will guard and guide them all. The one you choose, needs you more, for one reason alone. When the reason is no longer important, you will leave them. You will continue to the garden and that is where you will meet them again, when they are ready to join you.
Choose wisely Tim Speedle."
She headed off around the great lake that was only a couple of metres from my feet. I knew I had to have an answer for her by the time she returned.
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I looked at the reasons why I should or shouldn't choose each person, but that didn't help, mainly because I had no reason to not choose any of them.
I just lay at the beach, remembering my life.
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One of my friend's name's popped into my head. It was like Eve had said. My heart had already made the choice. The more I thought about the name that flashed behind my eyes, the more it made sense that I picked them. I knew I had made the right decision.
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Eve was heading towards me now. I ran to meet her.
"I have made my choice."
"Why have you chosen this person over the others?"
"It helps me carry on what I started in life."
"Are you sure you have made the right choice?"
"Yes." I said it without any hesitation.
"What would the others think? Would they say that you have made the right choice?"
I hadn't thought of it that way.
I know Horatio and Eric would. So would Alexx. And Calleigh.
They would all think so.
"I have made the right choice."
"I can tell that you have chosen the person who needs it most. Now. Please tell me who you have chosen."
"I decided to choose…" I took a breath. I had not said the name out loud, even to myself. Now I had to admit it to Eve, who's face was expressionless.
"I chose Calleigh."
Eve smile. "Well done Tim Speedle."