a/n- Sorry again for the wait guys, but I started posting this story on another site and I wanted to get them caught up. Anyway, unfortunately the updates will continue to be on the slow side. I'm very big on making things as perfect as they can be, which takes time. But in the meantime, please keep the reviews coming! They really do keep me going!
Chapter Six: Planning and Paining
After dinner was served and cleaned up, everyone other than Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Jack, and Lily, headed up upstairs to either go to sleep or to put away their presents. The six of them sat there, drank coffee, and talked.
"Harry and I have decided that we want t get married sooner rather than later," Ginny informed them.
"I'd say you've waited long enough," Ron rationalized.
Harry couldn't help but laugh. "That's what Gin said. I'm going to work it out. I don't want the press to get a hold of this. So I'm going to try and keep it all under wraps. We'll let you know what we decide."
"You'd better," Hermione warned with a stern look.
Harry and Ginny exchanged a meaningful look, each nodding at the other. "We couldn't have a wedding without the maid of honor and best man present now could we?" Harry asked rhetorically. Ron and Hermione caught the implication and smiled in acceptance.
Hermione turned to Jack and Lily who had been silent for the last few minutes. "So do you guys want to talk about a date for the wedding? What kind of wedding do you want to have," she asked eagerly.
Lily and Jack exchanged a look similar to Harry and Ginny's before Jack answered his mother. "We have always said we wanted to get married the summer after graduation. But it seems so far away right now. With everything happening, we are not sure whether waiting is the best way to go."
"So you talked about getting married before you graduate?" Harry asked with a grin. He knew how much they loved each other and to him it didn't matter when they got married. He thought their idea about getting married sooner was a good idea actually. He knew what it feels like to regret a decision to wait on something that was really important.
"We talked about it briefly today. But we wanted to run our ideas by you guys first," Lily stated looking from Harry to her Aunt and Uncle.
"Well, you both are consenting adults. There is nothing we can do to stop you," Ron's voice held the impression that even if they were not consenting adults he still wouldn't have stopped them from getting married early.
"That's true, but we don't want to do anything you don't approve of. It's your blessing we seek, not your permission," Lily said, impressing Harry once more by acting wise beyond her years.
"When where you thinking," Hermione said leaning forward with a gleam in her eyes.
"Easter," Jack spoke up after a long silence with a grin on his face.
"Your father and I got married when we were your age. We were engaged on Easter. Weren't we, dear," Hermione reminded him glancing back at her husband and taking his hand. Ron nodded his head and smiled back at her lovingly.
"We know, but we're going to need your help," Jack stated.
"We'll do all we can to help you," Hermione said looking over at Harry who shook his head in agreement.
"What kind of wedding do you want?" Harry asked.
"Something small with only family and close friends," Lily stated, "We don't want to make to big a deal of it.
"Where do you think you'd like to have the ceremony and the reception?" Ginny said excitedly.
Lily and Jack exchanged puzzled looks and shrugged their shoulders. Lily spoke for the both of them, "We haven't thought about that. I guess it would make sense to have it at Hogwarts because no one will be there during the holidays. What do you guys think?"
"I think that would be a lovely place to have a wedding. Now we need to talk about what kind of wedding dress you want to have. Both of you" Hermione stated leaning even further in her seat and nodding towards Ginny and Lily.
"I think that's our signal to get the heck out of here," Ron said as he stood up and walked toward the kitchen with Harry and Jack following in his wake.
The men entered the kitchen and shut the swinging door behind them. "I didn't think you'd want to hear your mother go on about all that girl stuff, Jack," Ron said walking over to the refrigerator and retrieving three butterbeers. "You know Lily is basically our daughter already, so this is the closest your mother will ever get to being able to do all that stuff mothers and daughters do for weddings. We'd better let her live it up a little! And as for Ginny, she's just as much Hermione's sister as she is mine. We'd better let them have fun."
"She thinks of mum as her mother," Jack said taking the beer from his father and sitting down at the table across from Harry and Ron.
"And Lily thinks of Hermione as a mother too," Harry piped in.
"All the more reason to leave them alone," Ron said laughing. "Trust me…I know all about weddings."
"Do you remember how nervous you were on your wedding day, Ron?" Harry mused chuckling to himself.
Ron also laughed at the memory. "I was a basket case that day. It's a good thing you were there to keep me cool, Harry, or I may have lost it all together. I still can't believe my son is getting married!"
Jack blushed a little bit. "I know I can't believe it. When Lily and I were outside I thought I was going to lose my nerve."
"Harry, did you ever ask Melissa to marry you," Ron asked. Harry had been sitting there for the past few moments staring off into space and clearly not paying any attention to their conversation.
Harry's body was jerked out of its daydream. "Yes I did. I asked her to marry me about three months before we found out she was pregnant with Lily. We were planning on getting married that summer, but then things got a little crazy and it just never seemed to work out. Then before we knew it Lily was born and everything went to hell from there, so we never go the chance."
"I still can't believe you never told me you had met someone until that letter," Ron said shaking his head.
"I wanted to tell you. But it never seemed the right time. You all would have liked her, and she would have loved you. She never met anyone she didn't like," Harry said reflectively.
"Is Lily a lot like her mother?" Jack asked.
"In some ways she is, but I'm afraid she's more like me. Melissa was hotheaded and could have a nasty temper at times. But she was kindhearted as well," Harry said honestly.
"Lily is the exact replica of you, Harry," Ron said laughing. "If you had been born a girl you would have been exactly alike in every way. She has a knack for getting herself into impossible situations and then somehow getting herself out of them always with a smile on her face."
Harry changed the subject, "What are you planning on doing once you're married? Will you buy a house somewhere? Are you both going to stay on with the auror department?" He had heard enough about all of Lily's adventures and frankly they always made him nervous. He didn't like to think of his daughter in those situations.
"Lily doesn't want to work as an auror once we have kids, and frankly neither do I. But to be honest, things are heating up and I'm not seeing a way out of the department in the near future. They're not just going to let us go with out a fight. Even if we give notice, they'll find someway to keep up around. The only exception for Lily would be if she found out she was pregnant, you know they don't let pregnant woman work the field," Jack said nervously. "They don't really like to have mothers out in the field at all, even after they've given birth."
Ron could see that Jack looked uncomfortable in his own skin and he didn't think it was just from talking about impregnating his future wife either. Something else was up. "What is it, Jack? Not another mission," he asked warily.
"Well, I guess you were going to hear about this sooner or later," Jack began uncertainly. "We're training for another mission that will begin next fall."
"Where to this time?" Harry asked.
"Actually we will be joining up with a group of people that are working to protect these children in America. Their parents were killed three years ago by some band of death eaters, and now they want the children dead too. The department has been supplying aurors to protect them in shifts. A new group of aurors is cycled in ever twelve months and the location is changed to cover their tracks. It looks like they're going to be keeping this up until the kids are of age, or we catch the people who are after them. So, unless something happens between now and then that's where we'll be going. Now, this is classified, so I'm not even supposed to be talking to you about this. But I just figured-"
"For a year? How often will you be able to come home," Ron asked, cutting Jack off and looking at Harry with a worried expression.
Jack took a deep breath. "We won't be able to come back until the mission is over."
"So you'll be gone for a full year," Harry repeated.
"With absolutely no contact with anyone, not even the auror department directly," said Jack honestly.
"So you'd be completely on your own?" Harry asked looking at Jack as if he had lost his mind. "How will we know that you're alright?"
"You won't, or at least not until the time when we are supposed to return. You'll know when we don't come back that something happened," Jack said gravely.
"That's crazy Jack! Why would you volunteer for a mission like that?" Ron said looking angry.
"We didn't volunteer. All the aurors have to do their tour of duty, and it'll our turn. I'm sure everything is going to be fine. But that is one of the reasons we wanted to get this wedding thing out of the way before we got too far into the training. They told us if something goes wrong we may be sent out early," Jack paused to take a sip of his butterbeer which he had nearly forgotten about until then. "I'm only telling you this because you both were once aurors and still technically speaking have department clearance. This is top secret information. I'd feel better if you didn't even tell Mum all the details of where we are until we get back. In all honesty, if I can find a way to get Lily out of the department before the time of this mission then I'm going to do it. And to be brutally honest, I don't really care if that means I have to get her pregnant. I'd rather her be a young mother than a dead auror," Jack said looking at Harry with nothing but earnestness in his eyes.
"You're worried about her, aren't you?" Harry asked in response.
Jack took a moment to gather his thoughts before he responded. "Being an auror has changed Lily. It's made her hard and distant. I know Mum and Dad have noticed it too," he looked to his father who nodded his head in agreement. "I want to get her out of there before there is nothing left of the girl I fell in love with."
"What about you?" Harry asked. He was just as worried about Jack as he was about Lily.
"I'm out just as soon as I catch Malfoy," Jack assured him.
The three of them sat in the kitchen looking out the window at the brilliant winter sky for nearly twenty minutes. Ron announced he was going to bed and Harry and Jack decided that they would follow him. They walked up the stairs and saw that Lily, Ginny, Hermione were still sitting in the living room talking. They told the girls they were going to bed and continued on up the stairs.
Jack lie in his bed staring up at the ceiling blankly waiting for Lily to come to bed. She never slept in her own room these days, even when they were at school. Most of her cloths were in Jack's room now as well. At eleven thirty he heard the door creak open and saw Lily walk across the room as quietly as possible across the floor. He let her think he was asleep and watched her open a draw and get out a night shirt and a pair of boxers. She had her back to him as she removed her top and bra to slip the shirt over her head. In the faint light coming through the window drapes he saw the faint white scars on her back and shoulders. Every time he saw them he was reminded of how close he came to losing her. The memories were almost too much to bear.
"Hey," he said as she finished pulling the boxers up over her hips.
"Hey yourself," she said walking over to the edge of the bed and sitting down facing Jack who was still on his back.
"What were you and my mother and Aunt Gin talking about all that time? You couldn't have spent the whole time talking about wedding dresses," he joked with her and took her hand in his.
"No, we just talked about things," she said mysteriously.
He smiled at her sly facial expression and pulled her over his body to the other side of the bed. He turned over to face her propped up by his elbow. "What kind of talk?"
"Your mom was just telling me what it is like to be married to a Weasley," she answered bringing her hand to his forehead and brushing the hair off of it.
"Oh really, and what exactly did she say?"
"That's for me to know. It was all girl stuff you wouldn't understand. What did you guys talk about?"
"I told them about the mission next fall," he said flatly.
"And how did they take it?"
"As well as we thought they would."
"It's going to be so hard to leave everything behind," she said looking up at him with eyes that revealed the fear present in her mind.
"I know," he said holding her a little tighter. "At least this time we'll be together," he said trying to bring up the bright side of the situation. "Your dad asked me if we were going to continue working with the auror department for very much longer."
She searched his eyes trying to discover what he was thinking. "Do you think we should do something else? The hospital has asked me to stay on after the school year is over. What else would you want to do?"
"I don't know really," he said contemplatively. "You've always said that you didn't want to keep this up once we have kids."
"Yes, but that's because I don't want them to grow up without a mother like I did," she admitted.
"You told me it was because you wanted to see them grow up rather than always having to leave them with babysitters while you went to work," he said shocked at her comment.
"Yeah well, I guess my secrets out. I'm scared to death of leaving my children orphans. I don't want them to grow up the way I had to," she looked away from him in shame. It was a stupid thing to think about really, but still she couldn't get the thoughts out of her mind.
Jack looked down at her and realized how afraid she really was. He didn't really know what to say to make her feel any better. "You are going to be such a great mother someday," he finally said cupping the side of her face with his free hand.
She turned back to him with a faint smile on her lips. "Really and just how do you know that?"
"Because I know you. You're great at everything you do," he said lovingly. "I can't believe you're actually mine," he added in a very low voice full of emotion.
"I've always have been yours Jack. I always will be," she said gazing up at him.
"Promise?"
"I promise"
He brought himself down to her and covered her mouth with his. After a few seconds he pulled away laughing. "What is so funny, Weasley?" she asked smiling in that way that drove him crazy.
"You better watch it," he said tickling her side. "You're going to be a Weasley very soon!"
"Good point, but you're avoiding the question," she accused.
"I was just thinking about the look on your dad's face when I asked him for his blessing. You really should have seen it Lil! It was priceless!"
"You asked for his permission?"
"Of course I did."
"What did he say?" she wondered twirling a strand of his hair around her finger at the base of his neck.
"He said he couldn't think of anyone else he would want you to end up with."
"I couldn't agree more," she said bringing her lips to his this time and kissing him suggestively.
"I can't believe my baby girl is getting married," Harry sighed, lying on his back staring up at the ceiling of the room he and Ginny were sharing. They'd decided they were going to tell Jack and Lily about the house in a few days, so they were staying at Ron and Hermione's house for a while.
"They're young," Ginny said, as she sat down on the edge of the bed brushing her hair.
"I'm happy for them. Hopefully they'll settle down once they're married."
"What do you mean, settle down? Isn't marriage in and of itself settling down?" She asked playfully.
"I jut want them away from the auror department," he clarified.
"What do they want?"
He looked up at her with a serious expression before answering. "Jack wants to get Lily out. But…um…he wants to stay until we catch Malfoy."
"And by 'we' you mean you and him and other aurors from the department?" She asked putting the pieces together. He opened his mouth to say something with an apologetic look on his face, but she raised her hand to stop him. "No, Harry don't. I understand. She's your daughter and he hurt her. You have every right to be mad as hell about what happened. I wouldn't blame you if you killed him the moment you laid eyes on him. Just…you know, don't take any extra chances. Okay?"
Harry took one of her hands in his and pulled her toward him. "Come here," he said, as she put down her brush on the nightstand and rested her head on his chest. He draped an arm protectively around her waist and she slipped a leg over his to bring herself closer to him. "Ginny, I love you. I'm not going to do anything stupid."
"I love you too," Ginny responded.
"I would like us to be married by the time I leave to go after him," he said calmly.
"Is that so," she replied, smiling against his chest. "And just how soon are you going to have to leave?"
"Any day now," he explained softly. "Aurors all over the globe are keeping their eyes out for him. Malfoy isn't stupid but he's not a brilliant criminal either. He'll slip up. When he does, the department will send out a team to take him down. I only hope we'll be able to get Luis too. But what I'm saying is that I don't know when I'm going to have to leave."
"So when you said we should get married soon…you meant really soon," Ginny surmised.
"Actually, that's exactly what I meant. I was thinking, we could just have a small ceremony before the start of term. You know that way no one would know and we wouldn't have to worry about any unwanted publicity. We could even do it at the Burrow if you want," he suggested.
Ginny sat up to lean her back against the headboard. Harry followed suit somewhat worried about her silence until he saw the smile on her lips. "I've always wanted to get married there. With all the family. Something small and intimate."
"I know," he said with a grin. "We used to talk about it."
"A wedding at the Burrow, huh? Before term starts?"
"I think we could pull it off. If that's what you want. I understand if you want to wait and plan something bigger…"
Ginny shock her head and silenced him with a finger to his lips. "Harry, I couldn't care less if we got married in the middle of a dingy alleyway in London. All I care about is spending the rest of my life with you."
"Well I'd never marry you there," Harry said, going along with her joke.
"And why is that?" Ginny wondered as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.
"Because your father not to mention your brothers would kill me."
Ginny couldn't help but laugh at the completely serious look on his face. "You've got a point there, Potter. But you know, if we're going to do this so soon why don't we just keep it a secret until the day of the wedding. Might be a good way to get back at my brothers for years of torment," she thought out loud with a funny grin.
"You're terrible," he said laughing.
"No, Harry I'm serious! I can talk to mom, tell her that we all want to have a Saturday at the Burrow to celebrate the new year and all that. We can plan it for the Saturday before term starts. I'll get all my brothers there and their wives and children. We can just conveniently forget to tell them that we're getting married."
"We'll have to tell your parents, Gin. I need to ask their permission," he reminded her.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said waving her hand dismissively. "I'll have to tell Hermione so she can come with me to find a dress and all that. But you can't tell Ron. We both know he can't keep a secret."
"So this is what you want?" Harry asked seriously.
"Yes, this is what I want," Ginny said nodding her head.
"I'll talk to you're parents tomorrow," he said yawning.
"Sounds like a plan, Potter," she said kissing his cheek.
"Okay, Potter," he said before kissing her properly, waving his hand to cast a silencing charm over the room, and snapping his fingers to snuff out the candles.
Lily sat on the cushion by the bay window reading late into the night the following day. Jack had gone to bed early because they had training the next morning. Her father had just gotten back from being away from the house most of the day. He wouldn't tell anyone where he'd been. Ginny and Aunt Hermione had been gone all afternoon as well. Everyone came back together for dinner. Uncle Ron seemed completely clueless about what was going on and he kept asking questions in hopes that someone would slip up and let him in on what was going on.
Closing her book, Lily stretched and yawned before standing up ready to head upstairs. She walked into the kitchen where her father, Ginny, and Jack's parents were up talking. She was about to bid them goodnight when there was a knock at the door.
"Who could that be at this hour," Hermione said getting up and walking out of the room. They heard her answer the and second later she emerged with Lily and Jack's friend Dylan.
"Hey Lil," Dylan said with his hands deep in his pockets looking a little bit on edge.
Lily looked more than a little surprised to see him. "What's up Dylan? Is everything alright?" She asked as they all walked into the living room to sit and talk.
"I need to talk to you about something," Dylan said as he took a seat next to Harry on the sofa and across from Ron, Ginny, and Lily. Hermione left saying she was going to go to bed.
"Would you like us to leave you two alone?" Harry asked glancing over at Ron looking uncomfortable.
"No, I would actually like to hear what you guys think about what I have to say," Dylan said, again looking very out of place.
"What is this about?" Lily pressed with a worried expression.
"It's about Robbie," Dylan confessed.
"Who's Robbie?" Harry asked.
"He's my brother," Dylan answered forgetting that Harry doesn't know him as well as Lily does. "You know he's in school in America, right Lil?"
"Yeah, you told me you sent him there after…" Lily didn't finish her thought after she saw the look on her friend's face.
"Well, his headmaster contacted me and I went to see him today. It seems Robbie has excelled in all his classes and the American auror department wants to take him into some early training program they have going on over there," Dylan explained.
"I see," Lily said reflectively. "What does Robbie want to do?"
"He wants to go more than anything," Dylan replied regretfully.
"And what do you want him to do?" Lily asked. Everyone could tell she'd struck the cord.
Even though it was pretty obvious how Dylan felt about the situation, he still seemed reluctant to put it into words. He took a cleansing breath and went on. "You know in order for him to enter the training he'd have to be emancipated from me as his legal guardian. Like Jack was when you started working with them the summer before last."
Lily nodded her head and glanced at her father. He was also looking at her with many questions in his head. He wasn't all together sure he knew what was going on. "What do your parents say?" Harry asked dumbly.
Dylan looked down to the floor and didn't answer. It didn't look like he was angry; it just looked like he couldn't find the right words to say. "Dylan's parents were killed at the beginning of last year," Lily told him. "He and his brother were placed under the care of his aunt who was killed a few months later. Dylan was made Robbie's guardian because by that time he was seventeen. But if Robbie wants to work for the auror department he must be emancipated as an adult because his parents are no longer alive to give consent. Jack had to be emancipated from Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. But I didn't have to go through the emancipation process before I could start working with them officially. No parents meant there was one to claim responsibility for me, other than myself. I suppose if I had still be living at the orphanage it would have been different, but since I wasn't and the Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron aren't my guardians by law, there was no one to argue with."
Harry nodded in at his daughter in understanding and patted the scared looking teenager beside him on the back. "I'm sorry…I didn't realize you'd lost your parents."
"You wouldn't have known," Dylan said looking him in the eye for a second before returning his gaze to Lily. "I don't want him to do it. I know he's the same age that you and Jack were when you started but…I still don't want him to go through with it."
"Can I ask why?" Lily asked in a compassionate voice.
"I don't want his life to be as hard as…" Dylan started to explain but when he looked into Lily's eyes, he no longer had the heart to tell her the truth.
Lily got his point and finished the thought for him, "You don't want his life to be as hard as mine has been. Is that right?"
"Yes," Dylan admitted looking ashamed. Lily looked down at the floor for a few seconds trying to gather her thoughts. Dylan saw he had upset her and continued talking before she had the opportunity to respond. "Lil, I'm only saying this because I've seen first hand what the auror department has done to you, and I've seen what it's done to Jack. I've witnessed the life you guys lead and it scares the living hell out of me. You two are my best friends and I don't want to see that happen to my little brother. I honestly don't know how you do it! I know I'm being selfish because Robbie could be real asset to the department. He's smart and he's got a good sense about him. The fact that our parents died at the hands of the people he'd be fighting against also fuels his need to do this."
"I understand," Lily said looking up at him. Harry noticed her eyes where glazed over but he could also see how hard she was trying to keep from letting her tears be known.
"Just answer me one thing," Dylan said in a determined voice. "If you had it all to do over again…would you have worked with the auror department as a fifteen year old, or would you have waited until you were of age to make that decision?"
Lily thought about his question for a long time. She looked over at both her father and godfather and took several deep breaths before answering. "I would have waited if I had really been given the choice, but unfortunately that wasn't really the case. Being an auror was my destiny. There was nothing I could do to change that. Innocent people are dying because of what Malfoy and others were doing, and they need my help. All I can think about was more children loosing their mothers like I did. I just wanted to stop it. But you're right, Dylan. If I had known then what I know now, I would not have started working with the auror department that young."
"What should I do?" Dylan pleaded, this time sounding desperate.
"I'll talk to him if you want me to," Lily offered. "I'm not sure he really realizes what he'd be giving up by going through with this. Perhaps talking to someone whose been there will make him want to wait until he's older and more informed to make this discussion."
"You'd do that?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes, I would," Lily answered with certainty.
"Thanks Lil, you don't know how much this means to me," Dylan said standing up and walking around the coffee table to give her a hug.
"I can apparate over there and talk to him during my lunch one of the days Jack and I are training or after I'm done at the hospital one weekend soon."
"That would be great! But I'll leave now so you all can go to bed," Dylan said as he and Lily walked toward the door.
"I guess I'll see you when term starts," Lily said when they reached the door.
"Yeah, you and Jack and I have to hang out again. Like we used to," Dylan said, "We don't do that as much as we should."
"I know…Jack and I will try to fix that problem," she told him awkwardly.
The door closed softly behind Dylan and Lily returned to the living room where Harry, Ginny, and Ron where still sitting. "I'm going to bed," she announced turning around to walk up the stairs.
"Don't you want to talk about what that was all about?" Harry asked bringing her attention back to the issue at hand.
Lily turned around with tears in her eyes. "What is there to talk about? I have the life a good friend of mine will stop at nothing to keep his little brother from having."
Harry stood up and took Lily by the shoulders. "I don't think that's what he meant, Lily."
She completely ignored his sentiment. "I personally can't believe he's still talking to me! I'm the reason he's parents are dead!" Lily said perhaps louder than she may have wanted.
"I think I'll leave you guys alone to talk about this," Ron said as he got up and kissed Lily goodnight before walking up the stairs.
"I'll got on up too," Ginny said following her brother and giving Harry a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder before she disappeared up the stairs.
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked once they were gone.
"Dylan's parents were killed because Malfoy knew he was my friend. He went to their house trying to get information from them about what I was doing working with the auror department. When Dylan wouldn't give them any information they killed his parents and they probably would have moved on to him and his brother if Magical Law Enforcement hadn't shown up with they did. So if it hadn't been for me, he's parents would still be alive and he wouldn't be having this problem because his parents would never have let Robbie even think about doing this."
"It is not your fault Malfoy or anyone else has a vendetta against you," Harry said forcibly. "Did you mean what you said about not working with the auror department if you had it to do over again?"
"Yes, I did mean it," Lily said looking at him squarely, "I hate what we do! I hate the constant state of panic! I hate what it's done to me, and I hate what it's done to Jack! Neither of us are the same people we were before we started this mess!"
"Why do you do it then?"
"Because I feel like it's my duty to try and help keep these people off the streets. I know what we're doing is making a difference somehow."
"You shouldn't do anything at the expense of your own happiness. Life is too short," Harry said with sadness. "Please trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about."
"I don't really think I'm ready to talk about this. There's nothing I can do to change the way things are. As much as I don't like what we do, I know it's necessary to keep another Tom Riddle from rising out of the ashes." She stood up clearly bringing an end to the conversation, "I'm going to bed, Daddy. I love you." She kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked up the stairs quickly, leaving Harry very confused in her wake.
He didn't linger in the living room alone for long after Lily left to go to bed. He walked back up the stairs and headed to the room he and Ginny were sharing. It was the room closest to the master bedroom on the left hand side. He opened the door and found his fiancé sleeping peacefully. Harry took off all his clothes, save his boxers, and climbed into bed next to her, allowing sleep to take him away from the upset this sudden development had caused.
Lily stopped just outside Jack's door to whip the tears from her face before she entered and changed into her night cloths. Jack was sound asleep on his side of the bed, lying on his stomach with his arms up under his pillow and his head facing the nightstand on his side of the bed. Lily climbed into bed as softly as she could and faced away from him. She knew if he woke up he'd be able to tell she'd been crying, and she didn't want to upset him. She closed her eyes and drifted into an uneasy sleep.
When Lily opened her eyes she was back in the cell at Malfoy Manor. She could feel all the pain coming back to her, just as it had so many times before in so many dreams just like this one. This must have been near the end, days before Jack came to rescue her. She knew this because she could feel her body dying slowly. At this point she hadn't eaten in two weeks and had only minuscule amounts of water. She looked around the room and saw all the familiar sights; the puddles of blood all around, the jagged rocks lining the walls and protruding out at all angles, the rusted bars that kept her captive in this hellish nightmare. They were all the same as they always had been.
"Look who's awake," a voice called from the other side of the bars. Lily knew it was Malfoy and she didn't respond. She remained motionless, partially because she was too weak to move, and partially because she was tied to the wall with ropes above her head.
"And how is our little angel today?" Malfoy said this time from a closer distance. Looking down, Lily could see his shoes come into her line of vision. She didn't avert her eyes to look up at him. She simply stared at the shoes. They were dress shoes. Shiny and perfect against their rough surroundings and they looked strikingly out of place. "I asked you a question Potter," Malfoy said this time right in her ear. She could feel him removing the ropes from her hands and feet. She knew what was coming next. She knew all too well. Malfoy smacked her across the face so hard that it sent her flying down to the ground hard. He turned her over violently and for the first time she looked into his eyes. Those cold grey eyes that she had not been able to get out of her mind since she was eleven years old.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked him with little emotion.
"Does it matter," he said hatefully as he slapped the other side of her face, but this time he held her body in place so she didn't roll onto her stomach with the force of the blow.
"I think I deserve to know," she pressed once she recovered from the pain of his slap.
Malfoy stood up and kicked her hard in the ribcage, this time causing her to roll over on her side trying to avoid any further kicks to that area of her body which was already covered in deep bruises.
"You don't deserve the air you breath, Potter!" Malfoy screamed as he kicked her over and over again until the dark cell became blurry. She tried her hardest to remain strong. This was only a dream. She was really still in bed with Jack, and any minute she would wake up and it would all be over. She would be safe again if she could just force her body to wake up and leave the dream. But for how long? How much longer could she live like this? Everything became completely black in a matter of seconds and she felt herself slip back into sweet unconsciousness.
Lily opened her eyes to find herself back in Jack's room with him shaking her shoulders and looking down at her with worry and tears in his eyes. She shook her head to try and get rid of the cobwebs the dream had left her with. It always amazed her how real the dreams seemed. She could feel the pain of everything. She knew the hunger in her stomach from lack of food. She felt the thrust in her throat from not drinking anything in ages. It was like reliving the whole thing over and over again.
Looking up at Jack now she knew exactly what was going through his mind. She could tell just from the look on his face. "You saw it too…didn't you?" She asked him warily.
"You never really told me what it was like. You never told me he said things like that to you," Jack said cupping the side of her face with his hand, and brushing over a bruise that was beginning to appear on her cheek from where she had been slapped. "Why didn't you tell me they were that vivid?"
"I didn't want to scare you," Lily said looking away.
"What about how scared you were, Lily! I saw the whole thing! I was standing right there. I know you knew it wasn't real. I've never seen you with that look in your eye. Like you'd just given up!"
Lily didn't say anything. She just continued to look the other way until Jack cursed in frustration and rolled over onto his back, pulling her along with him into his arms. He didn't say anything for several minutes, yet she knew he hadn't fallen asleep.
Jack could feel Lily batting her eyelashes ever couple of minutes which felt like butterfly kisses on his bear chest. He ran the tips of his fingers across her back, trying in vain to ease her tense body. "Lily, you need to be honest with me about these dreams," he said finally breaking the silence. "I know they scare you and I know you don't want to seem weak or helpless to everyone else. But I'm not just everyone else! I care about you. I never want to see that look in your eye again. I thought you'd close your eyes any minute and just let go and die."
"Why fight them? The dreams are always the same and they always come back. There is no point in fighting the things you can't change."
"There is always a reason to fight!" Jack said crushing her body against his chest trying to get her to understand his point. "You can't give up living just because you're tired of fighting. I'll fight for you if I have to, but I'm not letting you give in to all this!"
"I'm just sick of fighting," she whispered.
"I know you are. I am too. But you've got to talk to me. I know something's up with you. I can feel you're keeping something from me and I can't for the life of me figure out what it is."
"I'm fine, Jack," she lied. She knew she should have told him about the incident with Dylan, but for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew she should also tell him how much she hates working for the department. How much she really does want to give up. But most of all, she knew she should tell him that she doesn't deserve him. Jack deserves someone who has as much heart as he does. She knew she used to have that at one time in the past, but she'd lost it along the way and didn't think she could ever get it back.
"I think its more than that. You just don't want to tell me," he pressured further and breaking into her train of thought.
"Can we just agree to disagree on this one," she pleaded.
"No, but we can agree to go to sleep and talk about it later," he told her.
"Goodnight then," she said snuggling into his chest and falling back to sleep restlessly.
a/n- Ok, please review!