A/N- Okay guys, this is the one most of you have been waiting for. You will finally learn a thing or two about Harry. There is actually very little Lily/Jack in this chapter. Most of it is Harry and Ginny. Please tell me what you think!
Chapter Eight: Coming Clean
"I thought she was dead when we saw that heap of robes," Harry said as he lay on his back with Ginny leaning on his chest.
"So did I," she said, running a hand over his stomach and grasping his hand. "I think my heart stopped there for a second."
"Jack was brilliant. He just ran over to her without any fear at all. All I could do was stand there."
"You're her father. People deal with stress in different ways, love. You can't compare apples and oranges," she reassured him.
"She never should have gone out there alone. That was a stupid thing to do," he said almost angrily.
"It's what you would have done," she reminded him.
"Whose side are you on anyway?" he joked. It was a wonder he could find anything to smile about at all with what had happened. But that was just Ginny's gift: she could always make him laugh.
"I'm not claiming sides in this. I'm just stating the truth as it stands. You've got a reputation, Potter."
"Tart," he jabbed, with good humor.
"Git," she retorted.
"All that matters is that she's okay," he proclaimed.
"Indeed," Ginny agreed, and asked warily, "Do you think we should postpone the wedding?"
"No, definitely not," Harry said confidently. "I think this will lift everyone's spirits a little."
"Do you think she'll be strong enough?" She wondered with concern. "I don't want to overload her emotionally."
"Lil is a tough kid. She'll have tomorrow to rest and I'll just keep an eye on her. Besides we've already got everything planned for Saturday. Did you get a dress today with 'Mione?"
Ginny pulled up from her place on his chest to prop herself up on her elbow so she could look him in the eye. "Maybe…maybe not. I guess you'll just have to wait and see," she answered vaguely with a malicious grin on her face.
Harry shrugged as if it meant nothing. "Well, the dress really doesn't matter anyway. I'm just going to take it off anyway," he said cheekily.
Her jaw dropped in mock horror and she swatted him on the shoulder for good measure. "Harry James Potter! That was crude!"
"Oh, you love it," he said, kissing her soundly on the lips. He stopped the kiss just short of crossing the line where it would have lead to something much more. Ginny looked somewhat confused when he sat up and walked over to the window, leaving her alone on the bed.
"I know that look, Harry," she said warily. "What's on your mind?"
Harry looked back at her and smiled. She looked worried—beautiful and worried. He took a deep breath, sat down in the chair by the window and spoke up. "I was just thinking about seeing Lily like that tonight. It just made me think about some things. Lily and Jack have got such a history together. I was wondering that if she had died there tonight, if they would have regretted keeping any secrets from each other. And that got me thinking about you and me."
Ginny stayed where she was on the bed. Somehow she seemed to know he needed some space. "You think there are things we haven't said to each other?" She asked, gently encouraging him to continue.
And continue he did. "You've never really asked me about what I did when I was in America. Why I faked my death and left Lily the way I did? What I did while I was in hiding? Haven't you been curious?"
Nodding her head, Ginny answered, "I just figured you'd tell me what you were ready to tell me. I didn't want to push you into revealing things you weren't ready to."
"Thank you for giving me time. But I think I'm ready to tell you now. I think I need to tell you." A dark look crossed Harry's face as he added, "I need to tell you things I haven't even told Lily. Things I need to tell her about. I don't think I can keep all this to myself anymore."
"I'm here, Harry," she said, sitting up further on the pillows. "I'll help in whatever way I can."
"Where do you want me to start?" he asked.
"The beginning is always a good place," she rationalized. "Start with when you left."
Throwing caution to the wind, Harry took another breath and launched into what was sure to be a long story. "I arrived in New York city, where I was assigned to the top group of aurors in the country. They were working mostly on trying to track down all the people who had committed war crimes in Voldemort's name."
"That's when you met Melissa?"
"Yes, she was with them. We connected right away. Like I've said before, she had no one. She was living by herself in the city and she was an emotional wreck, though I can't say I was much better. She was a workaholic, she didn't take care of herself; she hardly slept. She was like me, you know. Plagued and self-sacrificing, as you might call it. Anyway, things moved pretty quickly with us."
"Self- sacrificing, yes. Plagued, no. But go on," Ginny teased.
He nodded, "She knew that I was running away from something. At first she tried like hell to convince me to go back home. She said I belonged with the people who loved me. But after awhile I think I had her convinced just like everyone else that I belonged as far away from you all as possible. We started dating and moved in together into a house in upstate New York away from the city."
"And then she found out she was pregnant," Ginny surmised.
"Yes, it was a few months later. She hadn't been feeling well and I came home to find some implicating potions on the counter. I knew what they meant and I was scared to death. I took it out on her and we had a huge row. We usually made it a point to never fight, we did enough of that on the job, but this was different. I made a complete ass of myself.
"Lucky for me, she forgave me. She couldn't work for the department anymore so she spent most of her time at home getting ready for the baby to be born. It was around that time when things really started to spiral out of control with the department."
"What do you mean?"
"Just before I found out Melissa was pregnant, I was approached about a mission. It was a long-term, top-secret mission that would have meant I would be undercover for years. There were, and still are for that matter, death eater organizations out there plotting to make a comeback. They don't care what the cost is in human life, they want their revenge.
"This group of aurors was being assembled to take as many of them down as possible. I was all set to take it. I knew I'd hurt Mel by doing it, but I really thought she'd be better off without me there to bring her down. She was getting better, you know. She was starting to smile and had even reconnected with some of her old classmates. But when I found out she was pregnant I turned down the job so I could stay with her.
"Anyway, when I first moved to America, I started getting all these treats delivered to me through the office. I thought they were nothing at first. Some of them were completely dismissible, while others were a little more convincing. Over there the homes of aurors are kept secret. No one knows where aurors live, where they spend their time, who they're married to, if they have kids. While I was over there I looked different, too. My hair was brown; I magically changed my eye color to brown. I had my scar disillusioned. You could have passed me on the street and never have known it was me. So what I'm saying is that no one knew about Mel and I. I was foolish to think that was enough of a protection for her."
"Harry, you couldn't have predicted what would happen," Ginny soothed.
"I would have if I'd put the pieces together. These threats, some of them were from pure blooded wizarding families who wanted revenge for what I'd done during the war. I'd get letters that would explode with curses and howlers the nearly pieced the eardrums of everyone in the office. I didn't take it as seriously as I should have. No name was ever signed to the letters. I found out they were from pure blooded families when Mel was killed."
"Did they leave a note or something?" Ginny asked, now moving to sit on the edge of the bed facing him.
Harry looked straight ahead, not really looking at her, but not really looking away from her either. In a way it was almost like he was looking right through her. "The night she was killed I returned home very late. I had been working overtime on a case and Mel was at home with Lily, who was only a few months old," he said, already looking on the verge of tears. "When I walked up the street, I noticed that there weren't any lights on in the house. Mel usually put Lily to sleep, and then went downstairs to sit in the living room and get some work done. She was still doing paperwork and research for the ministry.
"I walked up to the front door and found it unlocked. Mel always kept a magical lock on the door as well as a dead bolt so I knew something was up right away. I pulled out my wand and walked into the front room. No one was there that I could see so I turned on a light. It was obvious there had been a fight. There was blood spattered on the walls and lamps and chairs and stuff were knocked over."
He paused again and Ginny became more worried. "It's okay, love. You don't have to tell me all of this tonight."
"No, I need to get this out in the open. I should have dealt with it a long time ago but I just wouldn't let myself," he said, dropping his elbows to his knees and leaning forward. "When I saw the state of the front room I knew something was really wrong. I went back into the living room and that's where I found her." Stopping his recollection again, he shook his head trying desperately to get the images out of his head, but it seemed the more he tried to forget, the more his mind wanted him to remember.
The house was cold and dark. The very walls seemed to hold the dread his felt in his heart as he raced down the hallway and into the living room. This room looked just as torn apart as the last. The sofa was flipped over onto its back. The pictures that used to hang on the walls were now on the ground surrounded by piles of broken glass. It wasn't until he walked around to the other side of the couch that he found what he was looking for.
"Melissa!" He said loudly, falling to his knees and turning her bloody body over on to her back.
Her eyes fluttered open and she groaned in pain. Her voice was barely auditable, "Harry."
Loosing his battle against tears, he stumbled over his words, "Oh God, Mel. Hold on….I'll think of something," he reassured her, racking his brain to think of someway to make her pain go away. He was no healer and they certainly didn't have anything in the house that would help. He couldn't move her without hurting her more and the house was fixed so no one could apparate from the inside out or the outside in.
She shook her head, "No, it's too late. This is a curse you can't stop. Lily's upstairs…the charm worked, they…" a pained look crossed her face and she closed her eyes taking shallow quick breaths.
Harry pulled her onto his lap and held her trembling body close to him. Feeling something warm and wet on his hand that had been supported her back, he held it up in the moonlight to find it covered in blood. Horrified, he gasped trying to catch his own breath while he gently rolled her closer to him so he could see the deep gash on her left shoulder.
It was Melissa's anguished whisper that brought back his attention. "Harry, there's something I have to…have to…tell you something."
"What is it?" He asked, lovingly brushing the blood matted hair out of her face.
"My father was…Patrick Pierre," she told him in a rush.
Harry shook his head, racking his brain trying to figure out what she was trying to tell him. Suddenly it came to him. The Pierre's were a pure blood family with close ties to the Malfoy family. He thought they'd all been killed during the war. But if they weren't then that would mean…
"Oh no," he said looking down at her pleading for this all to be a joke. "You told me your father was dead."
"I know what I told you," she said, sobbing deep throaty sobs that caused her body to shake even more than it already was. "I'm so sorry, Harry…my mom left him with my…my brother and I when we were little. He was always there…one s…step behind us. He killed them…and that's when I joined the war effort to defeat you…you…know who."
Harry could tell her strength was waning. "Baby, you don't have to tell me this now."
She talked right over his mediocre protests. "No, Harry the threat is on Lily now. You have to find a way to keep her safe and way from him."
"Your father did this to you?" Harry asked in disgust.
"Yes, and he won't stop until he…has…has Lily too. He knows I have a child but he…doesn't know how old she is or that she's even a girl. He doesn't know you're my baby's father…he doesn't…" Melissa buried her face in Harry's chest to muffle a long moaning scream.
"Shhh," he soothed holding her tightly to him and rocking gently back and forth. "It's going to be okay."
"No it isn't!" She screamed, half from her own pain and half from sorrow. "Harry, if he ever finds out about her…you have to protect her somehow…keep her away from him but you also have to keep her away from Draco Malfoy…"
He was lost in confusion again. "What…Malfoy? What does Malfoy have to do with anything?"
"Because Draco and I were…we were…betrothed when I was born…that's how some pure blood families…maintain themselves. He can't have me now because I'm not pure so he punished me for it…this is my punishment. And because the Malfoy family can't have me…they'll want our daughter…no matter what you need to keep her away from the Malfoy's…if they…they see her they'll know," she said as her breath became shorter.
"But she's not technically a pure blood," he pointed out, "Why would they want her?"
"Because she's got my blood…my father's blood. Think about it, Harry. There are very few real pure bloods anymore…they'll settle for her or they'll at least settle for making her suffer for my rebellion. You've got to protect her, Harry…promise me that you'll do whatever it takes," she begged.
"I promise," he said fervently.
As soon as Harry made his vow, whatever strength she had left seemed to diminish. Her grip on his hand lessened and her eyes lids dropped. "Harry, promise me something else," she managed to croak out.
Looking down at her, he wiped her tears away not really sure if they were her tears or his. "Anything."
"P…promise me that one day… you…you'll tell her that you never stopped loving her," she asked through bluing chapped lips.
"Who?" Harry asked not wanting to believe it was that obvious.
"Harry…I've spent all my life…hiding from the truth…I thought I could hide from who I was…but I can't… and n…neither can you."
"Ginny," he whispered, looking off into the distance. "How did you…?"
"I've always known," she said, coughing up blood into her hand.
"You can't do this!" he said, holding on to her tighter as she faded away.
"I d…don't want to," she whispered. "I don't want to leave my daughter, or you."
"Then don't," he challenged desperately. "You can't leave me here!"
She gave him one last smile and assured him, "You don't need me."
"She does!" Harry screamed, looking up to the ceiling where their daughter was sleeping behind a protected door.
Somehow Melissa managed to shake her head. "She has you. I know you'll…do what you need to do to…keep her safe."
"I will," he said, kissing her forehead. "I love you," he added as he felt her let go of a breath.
"…love you…too," she said fleetingly as she sank into him further and took her last breath.
Ginny listened patiently while Harry told her every detail of Melissa's death. He seemed to be in some kind of trance. His eyes glazed over with tears and a look of raw emotion was plastered to his face. He covered his face with his hands as he relayed Melissa's last words.
"Oh, Harry," she said, kneeling down in front of him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"She knew all about you, Gin," he stated. "She knew that I loved you and that I was running from you to keep you safe. She knew I could never feel for her the way she did for me, but she loved me anyway."
"You did love her," Ginny reminded him, "You told me so."
He nodded his head with a look of pure disgust. "But not like I loved you. Not even close."
She could see there was no arguing with him on this topic. "Alright, so what happened next?"
Harry cleared his throat and went on. "I don't know how long I just sat there on the floor and held her. I didn't know what to do. The things she'd just told me….I had no idea how I was going to keep Lily safe. I knew I couldn't bring her back to England because I couldn't guarantee her safety there. It's be a lot easier for Malfoy to find us if I was back in the U.K. Not to mention the fact that the department had intercepted threats against all of your lives if I ever set foot in Europe."
"Who's you all? Me and my family?" Ginny asked blankly.
"You, your family, Hermione, anyone I had ever known and interacted with at Hogwarts, complete strangers, it doesn't matter!" He said urgently.
"Harry, we could have protected ourselves. You should have come home so we could help you deal with everything," Ginny said sweetly.
"Gin, think about it, I lost my parents, Sirius, Dumbledore…everyone who ever tried to help me had failed and it had cost them their lives. Ron and Hermione had already given up their childhood to help me fight one evil or another. You…well the thought of dragging you into was unthinkable. The war had only been over a year or so and everything was settling down on the surface."
"Still, you should have let us in," Ginny said defiantly.
He shook his head in disagreement but continued on with the story. "Finally, I remembered Lily was still upstairs. When we brought her home from the hospital we cast a complicated charm on her nursery. The charm could be open or closed depending on if we were in there with her or not. If she was in there alone the charm was always closed so no one could enter other than us. That was why they couldn't find her. Someone could have walked right down the hallway and not seen the door to her nursery. Mel and I were the only ones who could see it. I ran up the stairs and found her in her crib. She was completely fine. Just like she always was, she was perfect."
When he remained silent, Ginny encouraged him to go on by taking his hand. "I picked her up and held her for what felt like hours. I remember she woke up and looked up at me sometime during the night. I looked into my baby girl's eyes and suddenly it became real. She didn't have a mother anymore because I hadn't been there to protect her."
Ginny interrupted, "Harry, Melissa even told you that it was because of some stupid pure blood nonsense. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. They didn't even know you were Lily's father."
"I should have been there to protect her. Two aurors is a lot better than one who had just given birth a few months before and hadn't worked in a while. After that night I hired a nanny for Lily. She was a really nice muggle woman. She was safe, you know? She didn't know anything about me. I changed the wards so I could apparate straight there, only me. That way no one would see me walking up to the house or anything. I would leave for work early every morning and I wouldn't come home until I knew Lily been in bed. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't touch her. I couldn't even think about her because of what had happened. It just hurt too much to think about Melissa, and Lily was apart of Melissa. Thinking about Melissa and Lily was like thinking about all the ways I had failed to protect them. So I blocked them both out. The threats against me were getting worse. It wasn't long after Melissa's death that Malfoy got close to finding out where I lived."
"How do you know?" Ginny wondered.
"Oh, Malfoy didn't just want to kill me. He wanted me to know he was going to kill me. He wanted me to live in fear, always looking over my shoulder waiting for him to find me. Malfoy isn't the stupid git we knew in school, Gin. He's a hardened war veteran who trained and fought with Voldemort himself. He'd been sending me little notes through the ministry ever since the war.
"But then his notes started to get more precise. He'd mention seeing me at a park I used to go running in. Or he'd say that he knew I went to a specific coffee shop every Sunday morning. One night I came home from work and Lily's nanny said someone had been in the backyard snooping around. It was then I knew I couldn't keep Lily safe on my own. I knew Malfoy would kill her just because she was my daughter, and the fact that she was Melissa's child as well would have only made it sweeter for him. I couldn't have lived with that."
"So that's when you faked your own death," Ginny filled in.
He nodded somberly. "I approached my supervisor who I trusted immensely. I told him everything. About Melissa and I and about how she'd died. The department had never been told the truth about that either. I made sure they didn't because I didn't know who to trust. You have no idea how high up these families were. Some of them were not even pure bloods; they were just overgrown trouble makers looking to stir things up. Anyway, my advisor was the one who told me to go into hiding. I knew that would never be enough so it was my idea to stage my own death. I knew Malfoy would never stop looking unless he thought I was dead. I looked around and found the orphanage in Salt Lake. They specialize in protecting kids who are in danger. I thought it would be okay to let her keep my last name because Potter is a really common last name and I couldn't very well give her Melissa's last name. I never intended for it to come out that she was my daughter."
"How did that happen?"
"Really, I don't know. Like I said, there was no one you could trust. I kept tabs on Lily while she was there the best I could. After I 'died' I went undercover. This is where I didn't tell Ron and Hermione the truth either. I didn't' just lay low and sit around. I know you've never known me to do that."
"That did strike me as odd," she confessed.
"I worked around the globe tracking down people who were causing trouble. I was literally all over. I spent a few years in South America uncovering a group of wizards who were plotting to assassinate all the members of the ministry, including your dad."
"That was you?" Ginny asked, astonished.
"Well, not me alone. But yes I was involved."
"Okay, go back to where we were. You're getting ahead of yourself."
Harry nodded his head on continued where he'd left off about sending Lily to the orphanage. "Right, so once I had the plan all worked out, I didn't think twice about it. I knew what I had to do and I did it. It was almost like she wasn't my daughter anymore. She was just this child I had to protect. I still hadn't held her or really even been in the same room with her unless I had to since Mel was killed. When the day came I had my supervisor take her to the orphanage and we staged the whole death eater attack."
"Did you hold her before he took her away?" Ginny asked tenderly.
"No," he whispered, clearly ashamed. "I remember I dismissed the nanny just an hour before Rick was supposed to be there. Lily was in the living room in her play pen. She never made a sound, she just laid there sucking her thumb and looking around with those big green eyes. It was almost like she knew something was up. When Rick got there, he picked her up and she started bowling her eyes out. I remember her reaching her little arms out to me…and I just…I just couldn't," Harry shook his head and looked away from her before he lost it.
"I think that's enough for tonight," Ginny declared pulling Harry to his feet and over to the bed.
He didn't seem to want to let it go, however. "I abandoned her!"
"You didn't!" Ginny said forcefully.
"But I should have done something then, Gin. I should have held her or comforted her. Thank God she doesn't remember her own father looking at her knowing how scared she was and just telling the strange man holding her to get her out of my sight."
"Harry, you've had a lot of time to think about this. You're rational about it now, and you couldn't have been then. You were on emotional overload-"
He cut her off. "I never told her I loved her after Melissa died. I think a small part of me blamed her for what happened. But it wasn't her fault. She was a helpless little baby and she needed me! Do you know how disgusted I am with what I did? Just at the time I didn't see any alternative!"
"Exactly, you didn't see any alternative," she said sensibly. "We can't dwell on our past decisions. We just have to accept what's happened and move on. Lily knows you loved her then and she knows you love her now.
"Don't you wonder why I didn't come back when she was taken captive just before she started Hogwarts?" He asked daringly. "I told you I was keeping tabs on her."
"Harry, please that's enough" Ginny tried to beg again.
"The reason why I didn't come to help her is that I don't remember anything about that time."
She looked at him wildly, "What…what are you talking about?"
"Everything from a few months before she was taken by Malfoy the first time, to over a year after…I don't remember anything. It's all a blur. I spent years after that in a muggle hospital. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know where I'd come from. It took me years to get back my memory. But that time period is still blank."
"Have you seen healers?" Ginny asked stupidly.
"Several hundred it seems. I've seen muggle doctors too. It was some kind of memory curse. I have a feeling it might have been connected to what happened with Lily in that prison." He sat down heavily the edge of the bed and dropped his elbows to his knees again. "What kind of father am I? She needed me…she's needed me her whole life and I was too busy trotting off over the globe saving everyone else to see it. What could have happened to make me forget all that time? I have to believe that I would have gone to help her if I had known, but I really don't know. That was a really dark time for me, Gin."
She wrapped her arms around him and said forcefully. "I mean it; you've had enough for tonight. You need to get some sleep, Harry. Just let this go for a little while okay? We'll find out what happened to you, I promise. One day you're going to have to tell her about all this. I'm assuming she doesn't know?"
"No, she would have mentioned something to me if she knew anything. That's why Malfoy has such a sick interest in her. And I have a strong feeling that's how he's controlling her dreams and how he's entering her mind during the day. His family has a whole host of old family curses at his disposal."
Ginny agreed. "We need to tell Hermione so she can research this."
"Yeah," Harry nodded.
"But not tonight. You're going to bed," she said, sounding very much like her mother.
Even before Lily opened her eyes she knew exactly where she was. She could feel the cold stone she was sitting on. Her body shivered deeply from the drafty cell she knew she'd see when she opened up her eyes. Her body ached from bruises and cuts she could not see but could definitely feel. She head footsteps approach the cell followed by the rattling of the door as it was unlocked, opened, and then closed.
"Wake up, Potter!" a cruel voice instructed her. When she didn't do as she was told a foot collided hard with her side and she groaned in pain.
"I SAID WAKE UP!" the voice repeated, reinforcing its point with another painful blow to her side.
Lily opened her eyes, and when she did, she felt a sharp pain under her right eye. She could tell it must be black and blue. When she looked up at the intruder she saw none other than Richard Luis standing before her in a posh black suit looking extremely smug.
"What are you so bloody happy about?" she asked him with hatred.
"I've just come from a blessed event," he said, squatting down so that he was at her eye level.
"Yeah, and what event would that be?" she asked sarcastically.
"Your funeral," Luis told her simply with an evil grin on his face. "It was lovely really. Two of your friends stood up and gave pathetic speeches about you. Said how much they'd miss you. I couldn't believe how upset they all were about losing someone as useless as you. Your family sat in the front row. If you can call them your family, but they're really not there family are they?" he added with malice.
Lily looked away and willed the tears welling in her eyes to go away. She wouldn't let him see that what he was saying what getting to her. "They are my family," she said with certainty.
"Yes, believe whatever you want. But all you ever brought them was pain and heartache. Truthfully, I did them a favor by taking you off their hands."
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" she screamed as loud as she could, which actually wasn't very loud.
"And how can you be so sure of that?" Luis questioned.
Lily knew she was walking right into his psychological trap but for some reason she couldn't stop herself. "They love me," she told him at a regular tone of voice, but with as much confidence as she could muster.
"Love is overrated," Luis said as the smile melted off his face, "They may have loved you, but they'll be better off without you. Would you care for me to show you just how better off they're going to be?" After he asked this, an even more evil grin crept up his face.
"No," she said, trying to scoot away from him, but she couldn't get very far because her hands were tied above her.
Luis reached in his back pocket and retrieved his wand while never taking his eyes off her for a second. "You know, I think seeing this might help you accept that your life is over. Perhaps then you'll just give up and make our job a lot easier."
Lily remembered this occurrence all to well. She only hoped that Jack wasn't tapping into this dream because she'd never told him about it. I don't understand the previous two sentences…they seem to come out of nowhere. She closed her eyes and tensed her body as she heard Luis utter a spell she couldn't even make out. She found herself in the middle of the grounds at Hogwarts and few hundred feet in front of her was a shady clearing in the trees. She saw someone stood over a grave, and against her better judgment, she walked towards the person that she already knew to be the future Jack Weasley.
He looked considerably older. He wore crisp blue jeans and a navy sweater. He stood over the grave and simply looked down at it blankly for several minutes .Then he kneeled down to run his fingers over the words etched into the stone. He spoke a few minutes later in an even tone and his eyes showed no signs of grief or pain.
"It's hard to believe that it's been fifteen years since we buried you here. To be quite honest, I never thought I would make it this far without you, but here I am. It's true what they say about pain subsiding over time. When this first happened I thought my life was over, but in reality it was just beginning. I want you to know Lily, that I'm happy. I'm so happy with my life and the way things have turned out. I never thought I'd ever be saying this, but I'm okay without you." Jack paused for a second to look around the grounds of Hogwarts and to play with a blade of grass between his fingers.
Lily stood there and couldn't help feeling completely alone.
He was okay without her. He didn't need her anymore.
That thought should have brought her some kind of relief, but the only thing it brought was pain and emptiness.
Jack turned back to the grave and spoke again, drilling more daggers into her heart with every word.
"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you had come back alive from that mission. I don't know if we would have made it or not to tell you the truth. There are a lot of things that I'm uncertain about. Sometime when we were together it felt like we could never be closer, and at other times I knew you were something holding back and it put miles between us. I know that I loved you then. But there are times when I have to really think hard to remember what you looked like. The way you laughed. The way it felt to hold you in my arms. It all seems like it belonged to another person or another lifetime. You brought me so much and for a long time I felt like I owed it to you to come here all the time. But now I know that's not what you would have wanted. So this is my last trip. I need to close this chapter of my life once and for all. I've got a wife at home who I love with all my heart, and three kids who I know I'd die for. I've got to stop living in the past and wondering what would have happened if things had been different. Goodbye Lily."
With that Jack stood up, pressed his fingertips to his lips, then brushed them against the top of the stone grave marker, and walked away. Lily stood there and watched him walk back to the castle briskly and with a slight spring in his step. She knew he really was happy, and as that realization hit home, she slowly sank to her knees and stared off into space deep in thought.
She always wondered if this was all an illusion, and perhaps Luis was really in control of what she was seeing. Maybe Jack wouldn't have been this happy without her. The mere thought if him with someone else made her sick. But she also knew deep down that she would sacrifice her own happiness for his. Just as she was letting go of her pent up emotions, she felt herself being pulled back into the cell and then slammed against something rough and hard which she later discovered to be the ground.
"Do you get it now, Potter? Do you finally understand that he's better off without you?" Luis screamed as he took out his wand and pointing it at her throat. "YOU'RE WORTHLESS, POTTER! YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! YOU AND YOUR FATHER BEFORE YOU AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM!"
"You're the one who's worthless, Luis! You may think you've won. You can kill me for all I care, but so help me God you are never going to win! I will fight 'til my very last breath if that's what it takes!" Lily found herself saying. She paid dearly for her outburst in more ways then one. Luis pulled his hand back and in seconds brought it down on her face leaving red streaks across her face. He then stood up and Lily groaned as she remembered what happened next. He held his wand out in front of him and pointed it down at her.
"CRUCIO!"
Jack felt himself being throw out of the dream he had just been observings and looked over to see the woman he loved laying completely still with tears running down her face. He reached over to her and rolled her onto his chest, caressing her back gently trying to coax her out of the dream he knew she was having.
"Lily, open your eyes," he told her, kissing her forehead as he felt the all too familiar feeling of her tears falling down on his shirt. "Come on baby, come back to me." He felt her reach her hand over and grip the front of his shirt, and he knew she was awake. She fisted some of the material of his shirt and took several breaths trying to calm herself down. He cupped the side of her neck and felt her wince as she touched her skin. Pulling his hand back he looked at his palm and found it bloody.
"Look at me," he instructed as he pulled back to get a better look at her. There was a deep cut along her jaw line and her face was all bruised up. "Oh my God!" He muttered sitting up and gently rolling her onto her back, "Are you hurting anywhere else?"
She nodded her head. "It hurts to breathe," she said, having to close her eyes in pain as she did so.
He lifted up her shirt to reveal a deeply bruised ribcage. "I think you've got some broken ribs, love." He said pulling her shirt back down and brushing some hair out of her face. "I'm gonna have to go get Mum. I'll be right back. Don't move."
"I'm not going anywhere," she joked, offering a labored smile.
"That's my girl," he said, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. He walked as quickly and quietly as he could out the door and to his parent's room. He opened the door and found the room was completely dark and silent except for his father's snores. He walked over to his mother's side of the bed and gently shook her shoulder.
"Jack," his mother said groggily, sitting up to look at him.
"It's Lily," he told her. She needed no further explanation, and she shot out of bed and down the hall to the aid of her son's fiancé. Jack followed her and when the reentered his bedroom, Lily was staring at the ceiling with her eyes closed, fighting waves of pain.
Hermione looked at Jack. "You didn't say it was this bad," she said, walking gingerly to Lily's side and sitting on the edge of the bed. Lily looked over at her and smiled.
"We have to stop meeting like this, Aunt Hermione," she said as Hermione began to check her over.
"Yes, I suppose. Lily, do you want me to ask Jack to leave the room? I have to examine you," Hermione said, looking over at Jack who opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by Lily's response.
"No, he can stay," she said, looking over at him and beckoning him forward by holding out her hand to him. Jack walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, taking her hand and kissing the back of it lovingly.
Fifteen minutes later Hermione stood to leave the room. She had been able to give Lily something strong for pain, but she was unsuccessful in healing her any further. The only comfort was that at least she wasn't suffering because of her injuries. Jack stood up and walked his mother to the door where she spoke to him in a hushed voice.
"Just watch her for me for the rest of the night, and if the pain comes back give her more potion. It would probably be best if you stay up in case she has another dream. I don't want her hurt anymore tonight because I'm not sure she can take anymore after what's just happened."
"I'll take care of her," he said, looking back at Lily, who was in clean night cloths and on clean sheets now that the bloody ones had been changed.
"I know you will. Someone will have to tell Harry about this in the morning."
"I'll talk to him. We have some other things we need to talk about," Jack spoke, never taking his eyes off Lily. He planned on telling Harry how he and been able to tap into her last two dreams and had seen exactly what had gone on.
"Goodnight," Hermione said, kissing him on the cheek and walking back down the hall.
Once she was gone, Jack closed the door behind her and got back into bed. He wanted nothing more than to take Lily in his arms, but he was afraid of hurting her any more. Instead, he brushed strands of hair out of her face and spoke calmly. "I love you. You know that right? What you saw in that dream wasn't real. I would never have married or even dated anyone else if you really had been dead."
"Why not?"
"Because I think you can only give your heart to one person. I gave mine to you a long time ago."
"Jack, I really would have wanted you to be happy," she said as tears of shame appeared in her eyes. "But I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. If makes me such a horrible person, but I don't care."
"You're not horrible. I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same way if things were reversed. Just promise me that whatever happens from here, you won't believe anything else they show you or tell you. Don't let him manipulate you like that."
"I promise," she said, moving into his arms and resting her head on his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it before, but to be honest I totally forgot about it after all that's happened since then."
"It's okay. I know now and that's all that matters. But I do know one thing for sure, I'm taking down Luis if it's the last thing I do."
She took a cleansing breath, but didn't appear to be in any pain. "I'd like to say I'll be right beside you but I may just let you handle that one on your own. I'm not sure if I ever want to see him again."
"That's good that you don't want to be there. A lady shouldn't have to see the things I want to do to that man," he said, involuntarily clenching his fists.
"My knight in shining armor," she teased, poking him in the side. "Here to save me again?"
He grinned, but tried to keep from laughing because he was afraid it might hurt her. "Yes, I'm here to save you! Now shut it and go to sleep!"
"I love you," she said, sounding far away.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said mockingly, "I love you too, Potter."
The next morning Jack came down the stairs alone to find his father, Harry, and Dennis sitting in the living room. His mother and aunt were mysteriously missing, again. It was about ten o'clock, and he had left Lily sleeping soundly.
"Morning," Jack said, coming into the room and sitting next to Harry.
"Are you hungry Jack? I could whip you up something," Ron asked his son.
"No thank you, Dad," Jack said politely. "What are you doing here Dennis?"
"I just wanted to see how Lily was doing," Dennis said sheepishly.
"She's fine no thanks to you," Jack said with words as cold as his facial expression.
"We went and got Devon's body. He's being buried in America where his parents are buried."
Jack's face remained emotionless. "That's nice but it's more than he deserves."
"Jack, I never intended to become your enemy because of all this," Dennis said, looking hurt.
"You aren't my enemy, or not yet at least. It's just not that easy for me to trust someone in your position after what happened the last time. Are we any closer to finding where Malfoy is?" Jack asked, looking less upset.
"Unfortunately, no we're not. But I'll be the first to let you know when we are," Dennis said, standing up and nodding towards Harry and Ron as well as Jack. "I really should be going though. They're expecting me back at the ministry. I'll see you and Lily for training next week."
"Sure, thanks Dennis," Jack shook the man's hand before he disappeared with a CRACK.
"Is Lily still asleep?" Ron asked Jack once Dennis was gone.
"Yeah, she's pretty tired," Jack told him. "Can I talk to you for a second, Harry?"
"Sure," Harry said quickly motioning toward the back door and leading the way into the back yard so they could have some privacy. He and Ron exchanged a look and nod before Ron went back up the stairs on out of sight. Once outside, they took a short walk over to one of the many trees in the surrounding area and sat down in the snow. "What's up, Jack?"
Jack didn't hesitate before launching into the reason for their little discussion. "I told you when you came to visit us after training yesterday Lily had had another dream the night before. Do you remember?"
"Yeah, what's that got to do with now?" Harry asked, looking intrigued.
"I told you she had the dream, but what I didn't tell you was that I saw the dream as well. I was there, with her, in Malfoy's cell, and I saw and heard everything. She had another dream last night and the same thing happened again. I was there, but she couldn't see me or hear me if I try to speak to her."
Harry looked away from Jack, in deep thought. "What did you see?"
"The first time it was just Malfoy, beating her up and just being his usual sunny self. Last night it was Luis. He cast this spell on her which transported her to her own gravesite where she saw some future version of me telling her I was happy without her and that I wasn't coming to visit her grave anymore because I had a wife and children who needed me and I didn't want to live in the past," Jack said this all while looking completely disgusted.
"He was just trying to break her down emotionally," Harry told him, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure she knows it wasn't true."
"We talked about it last night," Jack said, nodding. "It just infuriates me to see her controlled like that."
"I know what you mean. Unfortunately, I don't think we can do much about it until we catch them, which doesn't look like its going to be happening any time soon. At least in the mean time she has someone who she can really talk to about these dreams, someone she who has seen them and knows what they're like on some level."
"Yeah. I guess I should go check on her. She was pretty bruised up last night but Mum gave her something for pain. She'll probably need to take some more when she gets up." Jack stood up and looked down at Harry who remained seated.
"Tell her I want her to stay in bed today, alright?" Harry instructed as Jack started to walk away.
"I will," Jack replied, smiling over his shoulder. "She's not going to like it but I'll make her stay put. She's really excited to go the Burrow tomorrow so there is no way we'll be able to keep her home from that," he added. Harry nodded his understanding, thought he really had no intention of keeping Lily home from his wedding even if no one knew anything about it yet.
Jack cantered back into the house and found his brother Andrew eating breakfast with his dad. "I'm gonna go check on Lil." He told them as he grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table.
"Did something happen?" Andrew asked, looking concerned and setting down his fork.
"Ummmm," Jack stuttered looking at his dad for help. Ron, however, looked completely puzzled so he tried to be as vague as possible. "She's just not feeling well."
"Is that all?" Andrew asked knowingly. Before Jack could think of something to say an owl flew through the window (that opened magically) and soared over to Jack, who removed a letter bearing the ministry seal. He read the short letter quickly and then looked at his father with a pale expression.
"The Dark Mark's been sighted," he told him, passing Ron the note and taking a seat.
"Where?" Ron said frantically looking over the note.
"Some house near Lily's orphanage. According to that letter, whoever did it left a note saying these things would continue until someone hands over Lily to them."
"That's ridiculous!" Ron said, taking the note from his wife.
Jack's face turned from one of confusion to one of utter determination. "I don't care how ridiculous it is…I don't want Lily to know about this for a little while. She doesn't need to worry about this, on top of everything else. Luckily they got there in enough time so they could be able to keep it out of the press."
"Jack, are you sure? She's going to be very upset when she finds out we kept this from her," Ron said worriedly.
Jack didn't waver. "She may be mad when she finds out. But hopefully by then we'll know who we're dealing with here. I don't want her running out trying to play the hero and getting herself killed. You all know just as well as I do that is exactly what she'd do."
"I guess you've got a point," Ron admitted.
"I already lost her once before and nearly lost her again yesterday. I won't let it happen again. If keeping this from her is the only way to keep her safe that I'm willing to take that risk.
"Someone please tell Harry. He has to know about this. Tell him what I've told you about telling Lily. I have a feeling he'll agree with me."
With that Jack took the letter, put it in the fire in the living room and returned to his room, hoping to find Lily peacefully sleeping like he'd left her.