Title: Kingdom Hearts goes to Oz
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters!
Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. I hope you all enjoy Chapter 3.
Chapter 3: Where are we?
Kairi groaned as she sat up, her head was throbbing with pain and her vision was blurry. When her eyes gained focus, she saw her entire room was upside down, furniture broken and everything scattered.
"Whoa!" she gasped. "What a shit load mess! I can't believe I survived that Hell Hole!"
Pluto barked in agreement as he stood up and stretched.
"We should go outside and see what the Hell happened." Kairi stood up, struggling to keep her balance. "I think I should call a doctor too."
The two crawled through the broken window of the bedroom, finding that the house had crashed in a brightly colored garden. There were trees, tiny houses and tall grass that had puffy, pink flowers. Since the budget was low, most of the background was painted cardboard cutouts.
"What a cheap set," Kairi grumbled.
"No complaining about the sets!" shrieked the author.
"Alright!" Kairi cleared her throat. "Pluto, I don't think we're on Destiny Island anymore." She looked at the house to see the damage done. "The storm really tore the house apart… Oh my God!" Under the debris was a pair of legs wearing black and white striped stockings with red slippers.
Pluto sniffed at the lifeless feet and tilted his head with curiosity.
"Are those things real?" asked Sora, watching the scene.
"Of course not," replied the author. "They're stuffed stockings. I did mention that this was low budget."
"Oh."
Back at the scene, Kairi observed her surroundings. "I better look for someone to tell us where the Hell we are." She and Pluto walked slowly around the gardens, looking for a sign of life.
Unknown to them, the puffy, pink flowers were actually the pom-poms of Moogles hiding in the tall grass. The Moogles raised their heads above the grass to watch Kairi and Pluto, they whispered to each other then they crouched down when Pluto barked at their direction.
"Whose there?" asked Kairi, staring at the tall grass. "Whoever you are, please come out and tell me what this place is."
"Hello there," said a gentle voice. Kairi turned around to see the Fairy Godmother standing in the center of the garden.
"Oh… uh, hello," said Kairi. "Do you mind telling me where I am?"
"You are in the Land of Oz. Now I must ask you. Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
"I'm not a witch, witches are mean!"
"You're more of a whiny bitch," said Sora mockingly.
"Shush," hissed the author, elbowing Sora.
"Ouch!" Sora groaned and rubbed his arm where he was elbowed.
"Now where was I?" said Fairy Godmother after the interruption. "Oh yes, now I remember." She cleared her throat. "It seems that you haven't met many witches," she said to Kairi, "I happen to be one."
"Never met a witch who sounded so nice," said Kairi.
"Only bad witches are mean. So are you a good or bad witch?"
"I'm actually a Princess of Heart," replied Kairi with a proud but stupid grin. "Which makes me a good person."
"Yeah right," Sora and the author whispered together.
"Oh, one of the Seven, am I right?" said Fairy Godmother. "Guess it seems safe for the Moogles to come out of hiding. Come out everyone! The danger has passed! This girl has freed you from the wicked witch."
Out of the tall grass and bushes, Moogles began to appear. They gathered around Kairi and Pluto, staring with interest.
"The wicked witch?" asked Kairi.
"She was up to no good here until your house squashed her," replied Fairy Godmother, pointing her wand at the stuffed stockings. "These Moogles are grateful for the deed."
All the Moogles began to bow towards Kairi. "Kupo!" they cried cheerfully.
"Wow," said Kairi, "I'm beginning to like it here already." She blushed and Pluto wagged his tail.
"Kupo," said one Moogle, "you're our savior! The Wicked Witch is dead! Long live Princess Kairi! Kupo!"
"Long live Princess Kairi! Kupo!" the other Moogles shouted.
"Is that supposed to be in the script?" asked Sora.
"Afraid so," replied the author, "writing a big musical number would take too long. This parody has to progress faster than the film musical. As long as it doesn't progress fast enough for Kairi's liking."
Sora snickered at the thought.
While bowing, chanting Moogles surrounded Kairi and Pluto, there was a terrible sound like thunder. A puff of green smoke appeared and the Moogles scattered in fright. The smoke cleared away and there was Maleficent, standing tall and menacing.
"I thought she was dead!" Kairi whined.
"Your house squashed the Wicked Witch of the East," said Fairy Godmother. "The witch you see here is her sister, the Wicked Witch of the West."
Maleficent approached the pair of stuffed stockings beneath Kairi's broken house. A terrible sneer came across her face.
"Who would dare kill my sister?" Maleficent shrieked.
"It was only by accident," said Kairi.
"You!" Maleficent turned and pointed a finger at Kairi. "You did it! You spoiled brat!"
"Leave her alone," shouted Fairy Godmother, resting a hand on Kairi's shoulder.
"You stay out of this!" Maleficent pointed angrily at Fairy Godmother. "I shall avenge my sister, but first I must retrieve her ruby slippers! They shall give me the power I need!"
The witch turned back to the stuffed stockings. "Ah! The ruby slippers! They're gone! Where are they?"
"Right here," said Fairy Godmother, indicating to Kairi's feet.
"Holy crap!" said Kairi. She examined the bright red shoes on her feet as the stockings curled up beneath the wreckage.
"Give me those!" screeched Maleficent. Both of her talon-like hands were clenching her staff.
"No way!" yelled Kairi.
Pluto snarled in Maleficent's direction.
"You are out of luck, Maleficent," said Fairy Godmother. "The glas… er… ruby slippers are in Kairi's ownership, she has been chosen to wear them."
Maleficent spread out her arms and green flames enveloped her black robe. "You may have been spared this time," she hissed, "but you haven't seen the last of me! I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!" The wicked witch disappeared in another puff of green smoke.
"Maybe I should get the Hell out of here," muttered Kairi. "She sounded serious about that threat."
"You will have to journey to the Emerald City," said Fairy Godmother, "the Wizard there will help you back to your own world."
"I hope he's a good man."
"Of course he is, he'll help anyone who asks for it. All what you have to do is follow the yellow brick road." Fairy Godmother pointed to a pathway made of yellow bricks.
"Sounds simple enough."
"It's a long way. Did you bring a broom stick?"
"Uh… no."
"Guess you'll have to walk." Fairy Godmother cleared her throat. "Good luck with your journey, I must leave for now. Perhaps we will meet again." With a wave of her wand, she disappeared in a swirl of fairy dust.
"See you later then," Kairi muttered at the last speckle of dust. She turned her attention to the yellow brick road. "I hope this path will be damn straight to the Emerald City."
"Just follow the yellow brick road, kupo," said one of the Moogles.
A crowd of Moogles guided Kairi and Pluto along the path to the outskirts of the garden where the road continued across landscapes. The road snaked through the meadows and woodlands.
"Follow the yellow brick road?" Kairi asked herself. "Doesn't seem so hard. Come on Pluto, let's be on our way." She waved at the Moogles. "Bye everyone."
Kairi and Pluto jogged down the road with the Moogles waving after them.
"These shoes are pretty," muttered Kairi as she jogged, "but they are damn painful to run in."
"Now I understand why it won't be to Kairi's liking," said Sora, "her shoes hurt her feet!" He giggled.
"Yes," said the author with satisfaction. "By the end, Kairi's feet will be sore and blistered." The author went to check the clock. "Where's Goofy? He's running late for his scene."
"Gawrsh," said Goofy as he entered, "hope I'm not too late."
The author sighed. "Nope, you're just in time. Quickly get in your costume and get your butt down to the set for the next scene."
Goofy saluted. "Right!" He ran to the change rooms to prepare for his scene.
"Think you can help him get ready?" asked the author to Sora.
"With pleasure," said Sora, holding a hammer and a large, rusty nail. An evil grin appeared on his face.
To be continued…End Note: Hold on people, Sora's not going to do anything bad to Goofy, it will be humiliating but not nasty. Hoped everyone enjoyed this chapter and will be patient enough for the next.