Monday was bright and sunny. The same as Drake's mood. Josh's was a deep contrast. He was still a bit confused but had spent the weekend fully convincing himself that he had absolutely no feelings toward the auburn haired boy.
Drake was happy because he got to go back to school. That meant the girls would see him in his sling and surround him. Sure enough, as soon as Josh pulled into the parking lot and Drake got out of the car, two members of Drake's "fanclub" came toward him, looking concerned. Josh sighed. Drake would be fine for the day.
Josh headed inside the school and met Mindy just inside the door.
"Hey," she said.
"Good morning," he responded. Josh had intended to keep his thoughts away from the incident in the bedroom a few days ago, but Mindy reminded him.
"How's your friend doing?" Mindy asked.
"What?" asked Josh.
"I'm sorry. Is that being nosy? If you can't tell me, I understand."
"Oh, no," said Josh, recalling the story he'd made up. "No. He thought about it. He's doing all right, I guess."
"Oh, that's good."
"Yeah..." Josh just wanted to forget. If he forgot, it wouldn't bother him. He and Mindy turned the corner and headed to their first class.
Why did the teachers have to make a spectacle of Drake's return? He just acted like a moron and fell down the stairs. He just had his arm in a sling, there was nothing more to it than that. All the teachers had to point out that it was his right arm. Actually, Drake had argued with his mom about this. Why should he go to school if he couldn't write? She told him he could use Josh's notes for the time being, and there was also the fact that he could still listen. Megan asked why not being able to use his arm was such a problem. He never took notes anyway. Then their mom also added that if he didn't feel up to going to school, then he wasn't going to be up for any dates. Drake gave in at that. His guitar was already taken away for longer than that. He wasn't about to lose girls either.
The girls were worse than the teachers. They crowded around him and babied him, asking him every twenty seconds if it hurt or not. And Drake was milking it for all it was worth.
Now it was lunchtime and there were about eight girls around him asking if they could help feed him. Josh felt his stomach lurch. He had a strange look on his face.
"It's sickening," said Mindy.
"Huh?" Josh asked. Then he realized she was referring to Drake. "Oh, yeah."
"I mean, it's not like he couldn't use his other hand."
"Yeah, but you know Drake," said Josh.
"I guess so," Mindy replied.
Josh couldn't help but wonder about the lurch he had suddenly felt in his stomach. He felt the same way when he talked to Katie about Drake and saw all the girls Drake had dated in the past. What was his problem? Why did that happen? Maybe because it was sickening that Drake was getting all the attention from the girls. Yes, that was it. Josh just thought Drake was taking it a little too far. The fact that the girls were crowding around him because he acted like an idiot on the stairs was absolutely ridiculous.
Josh rolled his eyes as he watched Drake leave the girls at the end of the school day. Drake got into the car on the passenger side.
"What?" asked Drake. It was clear that Josh wasn't happy about something.
"Nothing," said Josh, mainly because he didn't even know how he felt at that moment. He did know that the amount of attention Drake was getting from all the girls was annoying him. It shouldn't because that was just something about Drake. If the girls could play nurse to him, they would.
"Are you still mad because I don't remember kissing you?"
How did he know that's what was bothering Josh? Well, it had been the last conversation they would have had that would have caused Josh to be upset he guessed.
"I'm not mad," said Josh.
"I'm sorry, but I don't remember. I don't even know if I'd want to remember."
"Oh, really?" asked Josh. That one hurt. Was that supposed to mean that Drake didn't think he was attractive enough? "What does that mean?"
"Just that I don't...why?"
"You sound like I'm not good enough for you."
"Not good enou...Josh! It doesn't matter. I like girls. Not guys. No guy would ever be attractive enough..."
"I know that. I just...never mind."
"Okay, I didn't mean that people wouldn't find you attractive, I just meant...I don't know."
"Then why say anything if you're not going to say what you mean?" Josh asked bitterly.
"Why does this bother you so much?" Drake asked.
"It doesn't," said Josh.
"You could have fooled me."
"Just forget it, okay?" said Josh.
"Fine," Drake responded. He could not understand at all why Josh was acting the way he was.
Josh started the car and drove toward home. When he got there, he headed up to their bedroom and changed for work. He left as quickly as he got home. Drake shook his head. This was ridiculous. Josh would cool down in a few hours anyway. He always did.
Josh stood at the candy counter stacking Megathon Bars. He wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing. He could not stop thinking about Drake. Josh couldn't figure out what was wrong with himself. Maybe he was coming down with some kind of flu virus. Maybe he'd feel better about this next week.
"Josh!" said Helen, walking over to the counter. "Your stack is askew. What's the matter with you?"
"Oh, sorry, Helen," said Josh, finally glancing down at his stack. "I just haven't had the best day today. You see..."
"I don't care about that," said Helen. "Just stack." Helen walked away from Josh. He shook his head. Helen never really cared.
Josh saw Katie walk into the Premiere with Drake at that moment. Josh felt a strange feeling in his stomach. It was different from the burning sensation he'd experienced the past few days, but it was familiar too. When had he felt like this before and why?
Just then, Kathy walked into the Premiere. That was it. He'd remembered that feeling from when he liked Kathy. That was all...oh, no. This really wasn't possible. Really. It couldn't be true. Never in a million years could it be true. Josh liked girls. He kept repeating that to himself in his head as he continued stacking the candy bars.
I like girls. I love Mindy. I like girls and Mindy. I love Mindy. I like girls. I love Mindy and girls. I like girls. I love girls. I like Mindy. I love Drake...
Josh stopped. Oh, no. It couldn't be true at all. Had his thoughts just drifted where he thought they had? Yes. He had said in his mind that he loved Drake. But that couldn't be true, could it?
Then Josh realized. It was his head that said he loved Mindy, but it was his heart that said he loved Drake.