Title: Kingdom Hearts goes to Oz
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters!
Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. My apologies if I took too long to update this chapter.
Chapter 4: Enter the Scarecrow
Kairi and Pluto ran along the yellow brick road, passing meadows and farmlands. While passing by a large cornfield, they found that the road branched off in three separate directions: straight ahead, right turn and left turn.
"Oh damn it," moaned Kairi as she stopped running, "I thought following this stupid road would be easy! My feet feel too sore to go any further!"
Pluto came to a stop. He panted and looked towards the different directions.
"Which direction is the Emerald City?" Kairi asked herself. "I can't stand being lost in an odd world!"
"It's probably that way," said a voice.
Kairi looked in the direction of the voice. It was Goofy wearing a patch work costume, hanging by the back of his shirt on a wooden pole and pointing to the left turn.
"Goofy? What in the world?" asked Kairi.
"Or," said Goofy; "it could be that way." He pointed in the opposite direction. "Could be either way." Goofy crossed his arms to point in both directions.
"Will you just make up your mind!"
"Gawrsh, I can't make up my mind, I haven't got a brain. Just straw." He indicated to the straw sticking out from under his hat.
"More likely a load of brain damage from that heavy blow to the head," mumbled Sora.
"Leave him alone," said the author, "he's performing his part well."
"How the Hell can someone without a brain talk?" asked Kairi.
"Don't know," replied Goofy. "I'm sure there are some brainless folks who do a lot of talking."
Kairi rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She looked at the pole Goofy hung from. "How did you get up there anyway?"
"It's a long story."
FLASHBACKSora was at the set, placing a crate in front of the pole and a small ladder at the side. When he was done placing the equipment, Goofy had arrived in costume.
"I'm ready to roll," said Goofy.
"Good," said Sora, "just stand on that crate and cover your eyes. I'll tell you when to uncover them."
Goofy did what he was told; he climbed onto the crate and covered his eyes with his hands. His back was against the pole.
Sora climbed the ladder and pinned the back of Goofy's shirt to the pole with the nail. Using the hammer, Sora drove the nail into the pole, surprised that the noise didn't startle Goofy. Then Sora climbed down the ladder and picked it up.
"Okay, Goofy," said Sora, "you can open your eyes now!" He kicked the crate away just when Goofy uncovered his eyes.
"Woah!" cried Goofy when he saw that he was dangling several feet above the ground.
"Sucker!" cackled Sora as he ran away.
END FLASHBACK"Must be a pain in the ass hanging from there," said Kairi.
"Think you can get me down?" asked Goofy. "I can probably help you on your way to the Emerald City."
"I could try to get you down." Kairi approached the pole to see how to get Goofy down. She looked at the nail that pinned Goofy's shirt to the pole. "Holy shit, that's a big nail!"
"Can you wriggle it out?" asked Goofy.
"Hold on." Kairi reached and grabbed the end of the nail, she tugged and she twisted. "Sora did a damn fine job jamming it into the pole." She pulled a little harder. "God damn it! The stupid thing isn't coming loose!"
Two hours later…"Oh man," groaned Kairi, holding the large nail in her hand. "I thought that would take forever if Pluto hadn't suggested digging out the pole from the ground and then removing the nail after."
Pluto sat on the ground tilting his head up with pride.
"Did you have to drop the pole though?" asked Goofy. "That really hurt, falling on my face first."
"I said I was sorry about that," said Kairi. She dropped the nail beside the pole, which lay now on the ground. "Perhaps we should be on our way. Maybe while we're at the Emerald City, you can ask the Wizard to cure your brain problem."
"Splendid idea." Goofy grinned. "Shall we go then?"
"Yes, I just want to get the Hell out of this crazy place!"
So Kairi, Goofy and Pluto ran down the yellow brick road. Pluto barked, Goofy whistled and Kairi whined that her feet were still hurting.
"Ow! These shoes are killing me!" Kairi shouted.
"I hope they get to the talking trees soon," moaned Sora.
"They will," said the author.
Goofy, Kairi and Pluto were walking through an area where there were apple trees growing. Unknown to them, Maleficent was hiding behind one of the trees, preparing a trap.
"Oh, apples," squealed Kairi, "I'm starving." She reached out to pluck an apple from a low branch. When she held the forbidden fruit in her hand, a talon like branch swat the apple away.
"Hey!" cried Kairi.
"Hey yourself," said the tree, in a voice that sounded like a bad Ent imitation. "How would you like it if someone picked something off of you?"
"Gawrsh," said Goofy, "maybe we should get out of here. I sure don't like the sound of this."
"It's fishy to me," said Kairi, staring at two holes in the tree trunk.
Inside the tree costume, Riku was watching through the eyeholes and sweating bucket loads of fluids.
He asked himself: What have I done wrong to deserve this? Riku panted, and licked his lips. I could use some water because I'm feeling hot and I can't continue this dumb tree voice for long.
Pluto went up to the tree costume that contained Riku and sniffed at the roots. The dog decided to lift his leg up to do his business.
"Take a piss somewhere else!" the tree roared, scaring Pluto off. Riku began to flail the limbs of the tree costume, flinging apples at the trio.
Two other trees began imitating the same actions. The area became a war zone of apple projectiles.
"Goofy, Pluto," shrieked Kairi, "come on! We should get out of here!"
"Right!" shouted Goofy. He, Pluto and Kairi ran away, shielding themselves from flying apples.
"Holy crap!" cried Sora with laughter. "That was so hilarious!"
"Funny to you," grumbled Riku. "It was hot and sticky in that thing! I could've died from heat stroke!" Hayner and Pence, who were the other two trees, nodded.
"I'm too cool," whined Hayner.
"I'm too fat," whined Pence.
"Oh stop whining," said the author. "You guys go take a bath to remove the smell and sweat."
"Okay," the three "tree actors" said. They marched into the change room to get themselves bathed.
"I think I'll join them," said Sora with a devious look on his face.
"Go ahead," said the author. "I've got to plan for the next scene anyway."
Sora ran into the change room with excitement, leaving the author to think.
"The next one will be tricky," the author mused, "very tricky."
To be continued…End Note: Did everyone enjoy that? If the characters are getting too whiny, just feel free to mention it. I must confess, I have been thinking over who should suffer as the Tin Man and there are lots of ideas to pick from. However, I would like to see suggestions from the reviewers. There might be a chance someone might have the same ideas as me.