It was a week later, and Josh still couldn't figure this thing out. He'd tried to say something to Mindy a number of times, but he would normally get scared at the last second. Josh had no where else to turn. He knew this wouldn't look good, but he was going to ask Drake about the kiss again. It couldn't hurt.
Josh climbed the stairs to the bedroom he and Drake shared and walked inside.
"What's up?" asked Drake.
"Hi," said Josh.
"Hi?" said Drake. "That's all you can say? You've barely talked to me all week."
It was true. Josh had felt the last person he could face was Drake, so he'd avoided him like the plague all week. He hadn't even gone to the doctor with him. That doctor visit thrilled then upset Drake. He didn't have to wear the sling anymore; however, he still wasn't allowed to touch his guitar for another couple weeks.
"I know," said Josh. "It's just...things have been..."
"You've been busy?" asked Drake. He picked up the instruction manual to the new video game Josh had bought and began to thumb through it.
"Sort of," Josh replied. Yeah, busy. Busy thinking about everything that had happened between them lately, analyzing every detail of their past. It was quite a lot to handle, and Josh felt that he was going to go crazy. If he didn't ask Drake again if he remembered the kiss, he was going to freak. "You know, I've been wondering."
"What?" asked Drake.
"Well, remember when I asked you about that kiss last week?"
"Yes," Drake responded.
"I wondered if you remembered now."
Drake rolled his eyes. Was Josh ever going to stop bringing this up?
"No, Josh. I can't remember."
"Oh," said Josh.
"Is that disappointing?" Drake questioned.
"No," said Josh quickly. Well, it was disappointing, but Josh wasn't about to actually tell Drake that.
Drake stood up.
"Well," he said. "I've got a date tonight. I'll see you later."
"Yeah, see you," Josh replied quietly.
Drake left Josh alone to ponder his thoughts again. Josh sighed. What was he supposed to do now? This was all very confusing, and he had no one to talk to about this. Josh had been debating about going to his dad, but he was afraid of what he'd think.
But it wasn't like Josh could just erase these feelings. Had he always been attracted to men? Or was it just Drake who made him feel this way? Josh thought about it. He did like girls. Then he recalled watching Pirates of the Caribbean with Drake. One of their guys' night out movies. That meant that it was a movie Drake actually wanted to watch and not pay almost twenty dollars for two tickets to make out in the dark. While Drake had been staring at Keira Knightley, Josh had been debating about what women saw in Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Then he realized he was paying a bit too much attention to the men. He soon stopped. Maybe Josh was bi. It would explain why he had feelings for both Mindy and Drake. But Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were actors. Who wouldn't admit to them being attractive?
Josh pushed the thought away. But it came back quickly. He did have feelings for both Mindy and Drake. Maybe it was true. Josh's phone suddenly rang, interrupting his thoughts.
"Hello?" he said, answering it.
"Josh?" came Mindy's voice on the other end. "Where are you? We were supposed to meet fifteen minutes ago."
"Oh, man, Mindy," said Josh. "I'm so sorry." He was supposed to meet Mindy to work on a science project. "I'll be over as soon as I can."
"Josh," she began to question. "Is everything okay? You've seemed very distant the past few days."
"I'm fine," Josh lied.
"I don't think you are," said Mindy.
Josh sighed. He wasn't surprised. He was a very bad liar.
"I've just been a little confused lately," he said.
"About what?"
Josh had no idea how to respond. What could he say? He didn't want to tell her he had feelings for Drake. She wouldn't understand. And since Drake didn't feel the way Josh did, why should he jeopardize the relationship he had right now? It wasn't as though Drake was going to wake up the next morning and decide he felt the same way Josh did.
"About...about...the way Drake's been acting toward me lately. He hasn't exactly been acting like himself." There. It wasn't lying, and it wasn't telling Mindy everything either.
"Oh," said Mindy. "Well, his elbow has been the root of his behavior lately. Maybe it's just that."
"Maybe," said Josh.
"His sling is off now, right? He should be his normal self in no time."
"Yeah, you're right," said Josh. "Thanks. And I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"Okay," said Mindy. "See you then."
Josh closed his phone. He sighed. If he wanted to be happy, he couldn't tell Mindy how he felt. Maybe this would pass anyway. Maybe Drake was the only guy he'd ever be attracted to that way. Maybe he'd get over it like he got over all his other crushes in the past.
Yeah. Since he'd never been very lucky with love in the past, maybe he'd get over it like all the other girls before Mindy. The only problem with this time was that the person he had feelings for was closer than anyone he'd ever wanted in the past. But he was still so far away.