Title: Kingdom Hearts goes to Oz
Disclaimer: I own none of the Square and Disney characters and I don't own the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
Note: I bet you all know who the cowardly Lion is going to be.
Chapter 6: Enter the Cowardly Lion
The adventure continues with Kairi, Pluto, Goofy and Axel walking along the yellow brick road, through a dense jungle. The trees blocked out the sunlight and all around them were the calls of wild birds and insects.
"This place reeks," whined Kairi, pinching her nose with her thumb and index finger.
"I'd don't like the bushes," said Goofy, "there could be snakes in them."
"I'm more concerned about lions," said Axel. "They're feral hunters."
"Gawrsh, Axel, I didn't know you fear lions."
Axel cocked one eyebrow. "So I suppose that you don't fear lions?"
"Of course not!" Goofy marched ahead, chanting a song.
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
"The lion sleeps tonight.
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
"The lion sleeps tonight."
"He stinks," moaned Sora. He covered his ears to block out Goofy's singing.
"Stop picking on him," said the author.
"Hey, Kairi," said Goofy, "back me up!"
"Oh my God!" cried Kairi before Goofy could sing the next line.
"Huh?"
"Look, up ahead of us." Kairi pointed several yards ahead of the group.
There was a lion sitting in the middle of the yellow brick road. The lion had golden brown fur, a thick, brown mane and he was licking himself between his hind legs. His back was to the group and he seemed too busy bathing himself to notice the company on the road.
"Holy crap!" shouted Axel. "It's a freaking lion!"
The lion jumped up and turned around to face the company. He let out a roar of anger, charged and pounced on Axel. Kairi hid behind a tree, Goofy and Pluto jumped back as the lion collided with the Organization member. Axel was pinned down on his back and face to face with the lion.
"Nice kitty," squealed Axel.
"How dare you interrupt my bath," growled the lion.
"It was a misunderstanding!"
"Yeah, Simba," Goofy said to the lion. "We didn't mean to interrupt you."
"You know him?" Axel asked Goofy.
Before Goofy could answer, Kairi jumped out of her hiding place. She struck Simba over the head with a long stick.
"Ow!" Simba jumped off of Axel and covered his head with his fore paws. "What was that for?"
"It doesn't matter," said Kairi, "it's in the past."
"Yeah, but it hurts."
"The past does hurt, but you can run from it, or learn from it." Kairi swung the stick again and Simba ducked the second blow. "See, now what are going to do?"
"First, I'm taking your stick." Simba pulled the stick out of Kairi's hands with jaws and flung it aside.
"Hey!"
Goofy burst into laughter. "Simba, it's good to see you again. Hakuna Matata!"
"Hakuna Matata, Goofy," said Simba.
Kairi stared at Goofy. "You know him?"
"That's what I asked," said Axel, struggling to sit up in his costume. All what he could do was wriggle on the ground. "Now, can someone please help me up?"
Goofy and Kairi grabbed Axel's arms to pull the Organization member to his feet. Axel brushed the dust off his arms and glared at Simba for the pounce.
"Sora, Donald and I helped Simba regain Pride Rock," said Goofy. "Isn't that right, Simba?"
"Yeah," answered Simba. "I know that we won the Pride Lands back from Scar, but…"
"But what?"
"Well… I… I lack the courage my father had when he ruled the Pride Lands… I just don't think I have enough confidence to lead the pride."
"Is that why your in this parody?" asked Kairi.
Simba bowed his head. "Yes."
FLASHBACK"You summoned me for this?" asked Simba. He stared at the set for his scene and glanced back at Sora.
"Of course," answered Sora. "You are the only talking lion I know, which makes you suitable for this part."
"I understand the talking lion part, but cowardly?"
"You remember when you were doubting your leadership over the Pride Lands? Maybe you can act that way, feel that you don't have the confidence to do anything." Sora grinned. "I'm sure you'll do a damn fine job in this parody!"
"You're right, I still feel nervous about the whole leadership thing." Simba shrugged. "What the Hell? I can give this acting a try."
"Good, once this is over, you'll be feeling better about the confidence."
"Is everyone ready?" asked the author.
"Simba's ready for it," answered Sora, giving the author two thumbs up.
"Excellent. Simba, you just have to sit on the yellow brick road and wait for Kairi's group to arrive and shout at the sight of you. Then, you roar and attempt attacking the group. Kairi will know what to do from there."
"What the Hell is she going to do?" asked Sora.
"You'll find out."
"Whatever," said Simba. The lion sat on the yellow brick road and began to groom himself. He licked at his paws, hind legs and the area between.
"Yuck," said Sora when he saw where Simba was licking.
"Cats do that," said the author.
END FLASHBACK"So that's it?" asked Kairi. Simba only nodded in reply.
"Why not ask the wizard for courage?" asked Axel sarcastically.
"Would it work?" asked Simba.
"Sure it would," answered Goofy, in his optimistic tone. "Kairi will be asking to be sent home, I'm getting a brain and Axel is getting a heart."
"Then I'll go with you and ask this wizard for courage."
"Let's get out of this damn jungle first," said Kairi. "The stench is getting in my hair! It smells like decaying meat!"
Simba sniffed the air. "Where is it coming from?"
Pluto sniffed the air and gagged.
Behind the bushes and trees, Riku was flinging dead fish and decayed road kill on the ground.
"This is so gross," moaned Riku. "I just had a bath, only to do more dirty work after. Getting rid of the dead animal smell will take a longer time than sweat."
Back with the company, Axel impatiently tapped his foot. Kairi's complaining was getting on his nerves.
"If you can't stand the smell," said Axel, "quit your damn complaining and just go!"
"Alright!" said Kairi.
With Simba joining the company, they marched out of the jungle. However, they were unaware of the danger that lay ahead.
In the tower of a dark, wretched castle, Maleficent was plotting a new trap. She gazed at her crystal ball on the pedestal, watching the image of Kairi, Goofy, Pluto, Axel and Simba leaving the jungle.
"So those fools think they can reach the Emerald City?" she asked the winged Heartless monkey that lingered at one corner of the room. "We'll see about that."
Maleficent reached her hand over the crystal ball and slowly wriggled her fingers. The image in the ball changed from the jungle to a field of multi-colored flowers.
"Poppies," the witch hissed. She waved her hand in circles over the crystal ball. "Poppies to make them sleepy, or sneeze in case one of them is allergic." She cackled at the wicked spell she was casting. "This spell will surely stop them!"
The Heartless winged monkey jumped up and down, clapping its paws with delight.
On the set for the next scene, Sora and the author were planning the situation for the poppy field. The both of them had bandanas covering their lower faces like masks.
"My face is getting hot beneath this damn thing," moaned the muffled voice of Sora.
"It's to protect ourselves from inhaling the pollen," said the author. "Maleficent cast a spell on the poppies to make people sleepy, or sneeze for anyone with allergies."
"So what will happen here?"
"The gang will be running through the poppy field to reach Emerald City, but the spell of the poppies will take effect. There will be lots of shouting and perhaps whining in the next scene."
"I hope Kairi won't be the one whining, she drives me nuts when she does."
"Don't worry, I think the whining will come from someone else."
To be continued…Endnote: There it is for chapter six, the whole gang has been introduced. Chapter seven is where they get in a bad situation with poppies. Hope everyone is enjoying this weird parody.