A/N- Okay, here is the next chapter. Please see the authors note for a comment on the rest of this story.
Chapter Twenty-One: Hell and High Water
Ron opened the door to Jack and Lily's dorm room without even bothering to knock. He found the sitting room empty, so he walked cautiously into the bedroom. The room was lit up by the fire in the fire place. He looked around and for a second he didn't see Jack at all. He walked around the bed, and that's where he found him.
Jack was sitting on the ground with his back up against the side of the bed. He was staring off into nothing with a blank look on his face.
"Jack," Ron said firmly.
"Is she alright?" Jack asked. He didn't look up at his father, but he seemed to know why he was there.
"What happened?" Ron asked, ignoring his question.
Jack held his hands out in front of him. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't feel anything but hate and rage. I can't control my emotions anymore." He shook his head and covered his face with his hands.
"It's going to be alright," Ron promised. He took a step toward his son, but Jack's head snapped up and he held his hand up to stop Ron from getting any closer.
"Don't…just stay away! I don't know what I'm capable of. Don't come near me!" He stood up and moved across the room.
"Jack, son, just calm down," Ron said, making sure his hands were visible.
"No! I will not calm down. Don't you understand what I've done? I put my hands on her and I hurt her! I don't understand how I could have…why I…I just don't understand!"
"Something isn't right," Ron thought out loud. "Has anything out of the ordinary happened lately? Have you taken a potion or been hit with a weird spell?"
"No, Dad, this was not a spell. This was me! I felt it!"
Ron decided it was no use talking to him about this now. "Alright, you just need to calm down because it seems that it's your temper that triggers this."
Jack opened his mouth to retort but seemed to understand what his father was getting at, because he nodded his head and took a slow, cleansing breath.
Ron squared his shoulders. "I want you to go take a shower and get ready for bed. Just try to relax, okay? If Lily is what's making you act this way then just stay away from her. It's as simple as that. Stay away from her tonight until we figure this out."
Jack nodded and walked into his bathroom, shutting the door behind him gently. Once he was out of sight, Ron opened the drawer on Jack's nightstand and found one of the bottles containing some of the bonding potion Jack was taking. He slipped it into his pocket and sat down to wait for Jack to emerge once more.
Ron stayed with Jack until he knew he'd settled down. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning when he got back to his quarters. He considered knocking on Harry's door to see if Lily was okay, but trusted that they must all be asleep by now. He entered the bedroom he shared with Hermione after checking on his youngest son in the room next to theirs. His wife slept peacefully on her side, facing away from his side of the bed.
For a moment, he just watched her. Sighing, he thought back on all their years together. It had never been easy. But no matter how bad the days were, coming home to her always made even hell seem like heaven.
Another baby, he thought to himself. It was hard to believe that soon they'd be starting all over again. Their family was still expanding even eighteen years after they got married. It didn't seem possible. Though he knew he'd never want it any other way.
He slipped into bed behind Hermione and wrapped an arm around her waist possessively. Yes, this was heaven indeed.
Lily walked to her dorm room door at half past three in the morning. She'd gone to her father's quarters but found that he wasn't there. She waited in their living room for a while, considering just napping on the couch but thought better of it. She just wanted to go and get in bed. She wanted to be with Jack, though she knew she couldn't. Lately she seemed to bring out the worst in him. She'd have to settle for her lonely bed again tonight.
When she turned the door knob and entered the sitting room she was surprised to see Jack sitting up by the fire. He heard her sharp intake of breath and turned to see her standing there in the doorway. He quickly stood up and raked a hand nervously through his hair.
"Lily," he breathed, showing his surprise. "Um, my dad said you were staying with your dad tonight," he said uncertainly.
"He's not there. They probably stayed at the house tonight. Sometimes they do that," she reminded him.
"Oh, right," he said lamely. He watched her come into the room properly and shut the door behind her. She leaned against the wood of the door and refused to meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your mom, Jack," she said finally.
"Oh love, you don't have to be sorry," he said, coming around to the other side of the sofa but not going any closer. "I was totally out of line before."
She shook her head. "No, I should have said something. I'm sorry I made you angry."
He struggled with what to say, "I had n…no right to…hurt you…like that. I'm so incredibly sorry. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for what I've done to you."
She walked over to him and cupped his face in her hand. She watched him turn his face and kiss the inside of her palm. His glistening eyes never left hers. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke a thousand words.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry too," she said sadly. "I think I'm going to turn in. Do you have a meeting tomorrow?"
"Yeah," he said, looking back to the clock on the mantel. "I should get to bed. Why don't you just stay here tomorrow? You should rest and I don't really think they'll need you."
"Alright," she agreed. She turned and walked towards her bedroom door.
"Lily," his voice called out to her.
She turned around and looked at him, "Yes?"
He wanted to ask her to sleep in his bed tonight but he knew that would definitely be pushing it. Instead he settled for, "You know I love you, right?"
She looked at him for a second, and for the first time in all their years together she hesitated in her answer. "I know," she said finally. "I'll see you tomorrow."
They both walked into their separate bedrooms and shut the door, each one longing to be with the other, but neither really knowing if they had the right to ask.
Harry Potter sat at his desk in his classroom, reading his fifth year's essays when a voice interrupted his concentration.
"Hey, mate," Ron said, walking up to the desk.
Harry put down his quill and leaned back in his chair. "Hey, Ron."
Ron pulled a chair over and sat in front of Harry's desk with a tense look on his face. "I don't know what we're going to do," he said suddenly.
"Do?" Harry repeated. "Do about what?"
"Haven't you talked to Lily?" Ron asked, surprised.
Harry shook his head, "No, I saw her yesterday for a few minutes when she got back from work but I haven't talked to her since then."
"You and Gin didn't stay at Hogwarts last night, did you?" Ron assumed.
"No, we've been staying at home for the past few nights. Ginny wants to get the nursery ready for the baby before she gets too far along in her pregnancy. You and 'Mione should think about doing that too, you know." Harry's eyes seemed to twinkle. "Who would have thought we'd be in this position?"
"Well, Melissa and Hermione were pregnant with Jack and Lily around the same time, though Hermione and I didn't know it," Ron pointed out.
"Good point," Harry conceded. "Now, what were you talking about before? Something about Lily?"
Ron sighed and stood up to walk over to the window. He stood in front of it for a while, staring out into the rolling grounds and watching students hurrying to and from class. "I think something is wrong with Jack," he said after a moment's pause. He didn't turn to face Harry so Harry walked over to join him.
"Why? What happened?"
"Last night I sent Joe and Andy over to see Jack and Lily. They were only gone for about fifteen minutes and when they came back Andy was furious. He said Jack was yelling at Lily and acting aggressive. I decided to take a walk over there to make sure everything was okay. I was just about to their dorm room door when I turned the corner and ran right into Lily. She was hysterical. I've never seen her that scared before." Ron stopped again and looked over to see how Harry was taking all this. He had a look of deep concentration on his face mixed with a little confusion.
"What was she scared about? Did she tell you?" Harry asked, seeming eager to get to the bottom of this.
"I don't know what set Jack off," Ron stated, "But from the looks of things he must have grabbed her arms pretty tight. I noticed the bruises. That's when I told her to go find you. I figured you were here."
"Wait a minute," Harry said holding up his hand. He walked back to his desk and sat on the edge of it facing Ron. "Are you trying to tell me that Jack hurt Lily intentionally?"
Ron nodded. "That's what it looks like."
"No," Harry dismissed. "He wouldn't."
"Exactly," Ron said firmly. He walked over and sat in the chair in front of Harry. "In sound mind Jack would never lay a hand on Lily. We both know that."
"What are you getting at?"
"Jack hasn't been himself lately. He's not one to bottle things up and push feelings away. Lily's the one that does that. He's usually the one that makes her open up. But ever since the miscarriage the roles seem to have been reversed."
"So what you're saying is that someone is intervening in all this?" Harry pieced together. It was clear he was on the same wave length as Ron. They'd been friends for years and this was why. They thought a lot alike.
"Yes, the question is not so much who but how—and why."
"Any ideas?"
"I took a vile of the bonding potion Jack is taking," Ron said, taking it out of his pocket and holding it up. "I'm going to break it down to see if all the proper ingredients are in here."
"You can do that?" Harry asked, somewhat astonished.
"I am the potions master," Ron said evilly.
"Sorry, I guess I just still haven't gotten used to you liking that stuff," Harry said lamely. "So you're saying there could be something in the potion making him behave strangely."
"There could be. I'm doing a background check on the healer who prescribed this to Jack and Lily. I've already sent an owl to Dennis at the department. He's going to make sure that he keeps Jack and Lily apart at work until we figure this out. It shouldn't be a problem thought because they haven't been working together really since Christmas."
"What a minute, the healer? She's the one who told us about the curse Lily was put under. Why would she give away that secret if she was working for Malfoy?"
"I don't know, Harry. I could very well be barking up the wrong tree, but we can't rule anything out. All I know is that last night Jack was a totally different person. He would never hurt Lily unless something was being triggered in his mind. Something telling him that was the only way. And last night when I went to check on Jack after I sent Lily to you it was almost like he really didn't' remember what he'd done; almost like he'd been under an enchantment. I've seen this before, Harry. It's definitely something that caused by a potion. A spell wouldn't be this subtle."
"And we can't tell Jack and Lily because…"
"…Because whoever is doing this may find out that we're on to them. If we want to catch whoever it is red handed…"
"…We have to keep Jack and Lily in the dark," Harry finished.
The two friends stared at each other for several minutes in silence. They nodded their heads in agreement and Ron stood up and walked towards the door.
"I'll work on the potion," he said. "I'll also snoop around down in the kitchen to see if there is anything out of the ordinary down there."
"Right," Harry agreed, "And I'll work with Dennis on possible suspects and other things that might be causing this."
"And we have to try to keep Jack and Lily apart if at all possible. I don't really know what he's capable of," Ron advised.
"Okay, we'll need to tell Gin and 'Mione and they can help us with that."
"Good idea, mate. I've got to go check on Hermione now. I'll let you get back to those essays."
"Okay," Harry said, watching Ron walk away. Now this could be a challenge.
The following Friday Jack sat at the Gryffindor table and watched Harry escort Lily to dinner. They were deep in conversation when they entered the Great Hall but stopped once they reached him.
"What was that all about?" Jack said after kissing her hello once she sat down.
They hadn't spoken much since he got back from his mission. They'd slept in separate bedrooms all week. He could tell she was waiting for him to extend the invitation but for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to do it. After what happened the other night, he just wanted space between them. He didn't trust himself to be alone with her. Lily had been kept occupied yesterday by helping Ginny set up the nursery. She'd promised his mum that she'd do the same for her next week.
"We were just talking about the wedding," Lily answered, bringing Jack back to the present.
"I still can't believe you two are getting married," Brad said, shaking his head from across the table from them. "It seems like we were just little first years yesterday, and now look at us!"
"It seems like an eternity for me," Lily said, smiling up at Jack, "but a good portion of it has been great so I guess that makes up for the bad."
"Are you going to stop calling Jack's parents aunt and uncle once you get married?" Mea asked, sitting next to Brad.
"I don't know. They have always been family so I wouldn't feel comfortable calling them by their first names. I may be able to call Aunt Hermione 'Mom' but it would get confusing to call Uncle Ron 'Dad,' especially with my father living here!"
"Where are you having the wedding?" Mea questioned.
"Here at school," Lily said, placing an elbow on the table and rested her hand on her chin.
Someone tapped Jack on the shoulder, bringing an end to their discussion about the wedding. Jack and Lily turned to see a fellow auror from the ministry.
"I've come to get you Jack. Your random duel test with Dennis has been scheduled for tonight," the auror said, looking grim.
"Oh great," Jack said, standing up and looking over Brad and Mea. "I'll see you guys later." He turned to Lily who was staring up at him and said, "Don't wait up, okay?"
"Alright," she said, offering him a smile and squeezing his hand before he walked off with the auror.
"Random duel?" Brad asked, looking confused.
"It's just like a test each auror has with the department head once a year. I had mine a few months ago," Lily explained to him.
Lily spent the remainder of dinner talking with Mea and Brad about various things. When everyone was dismissed back to their dormitories she went back with them to see all her Gryffindor friends in their common room. She was there for about forty five minutes before she noticed someone was missing.
"Where's Dylan? I haven't seen him in ages," Lily asked Mea, who was sitting in the chair across from her.
"I don't know," Mea said as she looked around the room. "I haven't seen him all night. Brad hasn't been with him, I know that much."
"I'm going to look for him," Lily announced as she stood up and bid everyone goodnight.
She didn't really know where to look but something told her she needed to find him. She walked all around the castle and didn't have any luck finding him until she had an idea. She walked down to the dungeons where potions classes had been held before Jack's father took over the job. There he was, in the exact spot Allan had been killed.
"I thought you might be here," Lily said, walking up behind him.
"How'd you know," Dylan said, looking guilty.
"Just a hunch," she answered simply. "Wow, I haven't been down here in a while."
"Jack would kill you if he knew you were down here," Dylan said, looking at her through a sideways glance.
"That he would, my friend. We both know he's crazy."
Dylan raised an eye brown. "Crazy over you," he said flatly with a hint of humor in his voice.
She arched an eyebrow and stepped away from Dylan and walked a few feet to look up and down the dungeon. She could remember what happened like it was yesterday. She had been standing right here when…
"Do you ever think about him?" Dylan asked, suddenly interrupting her trip down a destructive memory lane. They both knew who he was referring to, and it wasn't Jack.
"I only think about him these days when I'm awake. I used to have dreams about him. We'd all be sitting together under our tree out by the lake and he'd just walk up to us and sit down. We all acted as if nothing had happened at all."
"I miss those days."
"What days?"
"Days like the one you just described from your dreams. When we could all just be together and hang out and no one had to worry about who was killing who or when the next attack would take place," Dylan said with much regret.
"I miss them too. I guess it's just apart of growing up. We just had to do it a little sooner then most people."
The more the two of them talked, the closer Lily felt herself come to losing it. Things had changed so much so fast and it was becoming too hard to deal with.
"Do you ever think we'll get that back?"
"Get what back?"
"That happiness we had before all this shit happened. We were so carefree. It almost seems like anther lifetime. I mean look at you now. Sometimes when I see you, I don't know who you are anymore."
She didn't quite know what to say to that, but she did know he was right. She had changed very much over the last two years. She knew he hadn't meant to hurt her by what he said, but deep down the turn of their conversation was very painful. "I guess we just have to be thankful for the time we all had together. I know I'll cherish those memories 'til the day I die."
"But why did we get cheated out of our childhood? Why were we denied what so many other kids in this school take for granted?" he asked rhetorically.
"It isn't a matter of what we were denied. Just think about what it would be like if my father's generation hadn't gotten rid of Voldemort. There would be none of us here."
"Tell me the truth about something."
"Sure."
He turned to face her and something about him looked threatening. "Are you happy? I mean outside of Jack, are you happy with your life and the way things are going for you?"
"No," she responded honestly.
"Why not be happy now?"
"I don't know if I know how," she said, not hesitating for a second.
"I don't know if I buy that one. What is worth fighting for if you don't have happiness to keep you going?"
"Why all the hard questions?" she asked, somewhat annoyed. She knew she had changed, and her friends were hurt by it, but most of it had been out of her control. Couldn't he see that she would give her life to go back and change things about the past?
"I've just been doing some thinking lately. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to do all I can to make myself happy. I've seen too much death and regret and know what its like to live without happiness. I think about Al and how carefree he always was. Do you remember?"
"Oh course I remember. I remember everything," Lily said with deep sadness.
"He walked around here like he had the world at his feet. When I die I want to be able to honestly say I was happy in my life. I don't want to look back on things and wish I'd lived my life differently."
"I hope you find whatever you're seeking, Dylan. I really do."
"I'm sorry if the whole thing with my brother hurt your feelings. I don't hate you Lil, or hate what you do. It's just not what I want for my brother…that's all," he said, looking uncomfortable. What he didn't know was that what he had just said hurt her more than anything else he had ever done.
She tried to recover from her momentary case of melancholy and responded quickly. "Well, he's your brother. It makes sense that you'd want what's best for him. I know I don't have the most glamorous life. But the truth is that things have never been easy. I'm not saying that I've had this completely terrible life or anything…my life has been wonderful and most of it I wouldn't change for anything. I'm sorry if you feel I've been a disappointment to you in terms of our friendship. You've got to realize that I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. I really hope things go the way you want them to.
"I should get going though. I'll see you around, Dylan." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek like she always used to do and walked speedily out of the dungeon before he had the opportunity to say a word.
She didn't go back to her dorm until a quarter to midnight, and when she got there the dorm was not at all empty. Flash was perched in his corner and the kittens who were now growing larger wandered around freely. She didn't even bother going to check to see if Jack was at home.
He won't want me with him, the thought bitterly. She walked into her own room and shut the door softly behind her.
Jack wandered into their quarters at half past midnight. He entered his room and found that Lily wasn't in bed. He turned around in a slight panic and then remembered their changed sleeping arrangements.
He walked over to her room and softly opened the door. The moonlight came through the window casting a shadow on the large four poster bed in the center of the room. He walked over to the bed and found Lily sleeping peacefully on her side. He extended his hand and brushed the hair off her face.
She screwed up her face and moaned softly in return.
At the sound, Jack retracted his hand and slowly backed away from the bed. She doesn't want you here, he thought to himself. She's afraid of you now.
He left the room and closed the door quietly behind him. Sighing, he walked across the sitting room and into his own lonely bedroom for another night of fitful sleep.
Lily didn't see Jack until dinnertime the next day, because she stayed late at the hospital to help out a friend who needed to leave her shift early. She walked gingerly over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Jack wearily.
"Hey there!" he said, clearly happy to see her as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I missed you."
Lily was almost too tired to speak so she just offered him a smile, a lame excuse for a thank you kiss, and began gathering food on her plate for dinner. She spent the first half of the meal staring off into the distance in deep thought. She couldn't seem to get her conversation with Dylan off her mind.
At the moment, Dylan was sitting a few seats away from her, talking to Brad. He kept sending her awkward looks like he wanted to say something but didn't know who to form the words. She looked up at the staff table and caught her father looking at her with a worried expression. She gave him a half-hearted smile and returned to picking at her food.
They were all eating their food in silence for the last several minutes. Jack noticed Lily rubbing her temples as if her head hurt. He leaned over and put a hand on her knee under the table. "What's wrong, love?" Jack asked quietly in her ear so no one would hear.
"Just a headache," she said, rubbing her temples again and closing her eyes. "I think I'm going to go back to our room and lie down." She placed the napkin that had been on her lap back on the table and stood up.
"I'll come with you," Jack said, making to stand up with her until she shook her head.
"No, you stay here with everyone. I'm perfectly capable of walking down some halls and up a few flights of stairs on my own. Come back when you're finished with dinner." She kissed his cheek and walked away from the table. Jack wanted to go with her, but he didn't want to smother her so he turned back to his friends.
"Where's Lils going?" Brad said, nodding his head toward Lily's retreating form.
Jack smiled at the name Brad had used. It was a pet name they use to call her when they were younger. "She's going to bed early. She's got a headache."
Brad's eyes twinkled as he asked his next question. "So, are you ready to be a married man Jack?"
"Yeah, I-" Jack was cut off by the sounds of people running into the Great Hall. He stood up recognizing the people immediately. They were all aurors. Dennis was even with them.
"What's going on, guys?" Jack asked as they approached him.
All the men were out of breath but one of them managed to speak in between large breaths of air. "Attack…in Hogsmeade…death eaters are…terrorizing the village."
Jack immediately raced off to the staff table to inform the teachers. Harry and Ron were talking about something with smiles on their faces, but their smiles dropped when they saw the look on Jack's face.
"There's an attack in Hogsmeade!" Jack said frantically. Professor McGonagall stood up and told all the students to return to their dormitories. The Great Hall was in utter chaos. Students remembered all too well the events of the last attack, and bolted back to their dormitories where it would hopefully be safe.
"I'm going. They need my help," Jack said just before running back with the other aurors.
"Where's Lily?" Harry yelled at him right after he took off.
"In our dorm room!" Jack yelled over his shoulder. Ron turned to Harry and gave him an all too familiar look. Harry read his mind and they both walked around the table and down the isle between the house tables swiftly. They got as far as the entrance hall when they saw a strange accumulation of people blocking the doorway.
"What's going on now?" Harry asked loudly, looking around. He spotted Jack standing with some of the aurors that had run into the Great Hall to alert them of the attack. He looked pale as a ghost and was staring straight ahead. Ron and Harry followed his line of vision. There in front of the group was a large blue bubble-like structure containing two fighting bodies. It didn't take Harry long to recognize one of the people.
"I thought you said she was in your dorm," Harry said as he fought his way over to where Jack was standing with Ron close behind him.
"She was," Jack said, mesmerized by what was going on.
Lily was fighting with someone inside the bubble, but neither of them seemed to be using any magic. They were fighting hand to hand. Jack winced as he saw her take a hard punch to the stomach. She fell to the ground and the man jumped on top of her, punching her in the face over and over again. Harry had to hold Jack back from leaping forward into the unknown bubble.
After a few more minutes of this fighting, the man stood up and pulled a wand out of his pocket, removing the bubble. Lily clearly saw his intentions and didn't move or try to save herself in the slightest. He raised his wand to perform what clearly would have been a deadly curse before Harry and Jack both jumped him from behind. Both of them were too upset to use magic and had him knocked out before anyone could have said "Qudditch." Just to be safe, Harry was already binding him in ropes and getting ready to levitate him away.
"Are you alright?" Jack asked, rushing over to Lily who was still on the ground propped up by her elbows.
"I'm fine," she said, trying to smile at him.
Jack was not at all amused. "Good. NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" He screamed at her before sweeping from the room and following the other aurors into town.
It was nearly three in the morning and Lily was still alone in their dorm waiting for Jack to come home. After the duel he had left with Dennis and the others to join the fighting in town. Her father had insisted she go to the hospital wing and get checked out, and then she was forbidden to go help the others after she had been examined. She was then sent back to her dorm to rest, and Harry had come to check on her twice already to make sure she had not gone into Hogsmeade against medical judgment. She hadn't rested at all in the hours she had been there all by herself. She waited for Jack to come home restlessly.
The door opened behind her and she saw Jack step inside. He looked tired, and for some reason not happy to see her at all. He crossed the room and opened his bedroom door, pulling off his now dirty and torn robes as he went.
He spoke with his back to her when he heard her footsteps following him. "What are you still doing up?"
"Waiting for you," she answered meekly. She almost felt like she was afraid to talk to him after the way he yelled at her in front of everyone earlier.
"You should have gone to bed. You need to rest," he said coldly from the bathroom washing the dirt off his face.
"Jack, are you alright? Talk to me…Did something happen?" she said, racking her brain for what could be wrong with him.
"No, nothing's wrong and nothing happened," he said, simply pulling off his shirt to reveal a deep red scratch on his back.
"You're hurt…let me checked that out," she stated as she walked over to him to examine the cut, warily waiting to see what he'd say. She didn't have to wait long.
"Don't worry about it! It's just a scratch, Lily. Get off my case!" He shrugged her off him and walked around her back into the bedroom.
After his harsh comment, she decided it was best to keep her distance so she took a few steps back. "Jack, what's wrong?"
"Lily, just go to bed, okay? I can't deal with you right now," he said, taking off his pants and putting on a shirt to sleep in.
Lily took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. She walked backwards and sat on his bed, then looked to her right and fingered the embroidery on the duvet cover. She looked up at him after several minutes and found him brushing his teeth, not even caring that what he had just said hurt her badly. Not wanting to press him for any further information, she got up and walked to the door.
"I guess I'll just leave you alone then," she said, hoping he'd tell her not to.
"Do what you want," he said from the bathroom.
She nodded and left the room without another word.
A/N- Okay, here's the deal. I've recently had a breakthrough with this story thanks to my beta. So, I've decided to make this a trilogy. This part of the story will end in a few chapters and another will begin. I'll let you know what the title is before then don't worry. The plot is taking a dramatic turn so look out. In the meantime, enjoy the next few chapters and PLEASE REVIEW!