A/N: right so before I start I wanna rant about how I hate rating fics in this fandom! For Christ's sake it's a JTHM fic, I think all of us here are mature enough to read the word fuck and not freak out. Which is why I think I should be able to rate this fic G for general audiences. I will say fuck, maybe not a lot but it will be used, along with other colourful expletives. Suck it up and don't report me for being sensible
Disclaimer: Jhonen owns JTHM and my soul
A Clumsy Waltz
Throughout our lives it is apparent to even the thickest individual that it is our desires that drive our every action. At first this process of living seems to be selfish and driven from nothing but animalistic instinct, and it seems this way because it's true. Humankind is only able to pursue their desires, governed by their emotional aspiration and physical longing. Some could argue that these desires can be for altruistic reasons, but even in these mostly rare circumstances there is still a selfish center to the action. Like an apple rotten in the center, you don't know it's bad unless you take a bite and see it for yourself. Most people don't take bites, they judge the apple from it's bright ruddy surface and pass it by as if it were up to par.
What graceless fools humans are.
Nothing but a clumsy waltz wherein the dancers twirl by each other and gaze upon the splendor of each other's shells, flitting about and never staying long enough to see beyond the pretty masks. Their activities are limited only to their instinct
Hungry hungry I need food…
Thirsty thirsty I must drink…
Sleepy sleepy I will rest…
Horny horny I want sex…
Angry angry I shall kill…
They hold such power over us, these emotions, desires.
It all seems so…poetic
The failure of life
The emptiness
Better than a gothic elegy.
Such amusing things, these feelings. The control they have over us.
Attempts to rid oneself of them are met only with the contemptuous laughter of God. He knows that these are chains that he himself forged and locked upon us. The key to these locks is only death, God made it that way on purpose
Bastard.
I know this first hand. I've tried to hard…it's not as if I'm saying I myself am above these feelings, no. It seems that I too often succumb to these little irritating detours
I can tell what you are thinking.
" Frowning upon us who are slaves to ourselves, while you yourself are just as human as we are, you have no right. You even said it yourself"
Fools!
Alas but I do have the right!
Maybe I have the same skin as you idiots, but within my chest my soul knows the truth…
Heh, it's funny really
You know…many times poets will make truth synonymous with light, how pretty.
How…profound!
I assure you however that the truth is anything but bright.
In fact it is very dark.
There are only a few who know the truth, I've yet to meet anyone else who has realized the fault of nature, but maybe that's because I myself am submerged in this Urban sludge called a city. Here the selfish actions seem to collect like clouds over passersby, as if the sky is feeding off the feelings and making the world as black as it's food.
I cannot prove any atmospheric conspiracy, but I know it's there. At least, it's quite probable, certainly not impossible.
I digress, that seems to be quite typical of my nature, so I do ask you to forgive me. After all I am only trying to give you the gift of the truth. That is my purpose, and so I must serve it.
Such ironic word choice…ah, again I digress.
Perhaps an explanation as to how I came to be in such a state of mind is in order here. I scarcely remember a time in which I was ignorant…and happy so I will not start there
You know… awareness brings only grief, it will never give you joy, only sorrow.
A fool is better off than anyone, because all he sees is his natural desire, and nothing beyond it. No other path that could lead him astray into the black woods.
I'm here today to make you all miserable.
One day you'll all thank me.
It's all so disgusting, so sad, and yet…so true.
Filthy truth.
Dirty truth.
Nasty, dirty, filthy truth.
It's times like this, when I recollect on the utter despondency of the world that I wish I could just shutdown.
And I can assure you that I would, except… I seem to be under the delusion that I am the anchor point of the universe. If I go I'll take you all into oblivion with me.
A little tidbit that Satan disclosed to me…
Ah the thoughts of a psycho!
hehe
It's so lovely to feel as though you are holding the world hostage.
Well, slap me on a cross and call me Jesus!
It seems I AM your savoir. (1)
Oh yes, an explanation. I had nearly forgotten, my mind does that sometimes. It's rather clumsy, much like those who waltz through their lives, remember? the ones I told you about. But enough metaphors. It's time for some factual history.
I suppose it's best if I start where it all began.
My little "heaven house"
TBC
(1) I'm going to hell for that
A/N: No this is NOT going to be a retarded narrative oneshot. It was going to be but now it's not! I decided that it shall be a chapter fic and that it will also be in the third person until I decide to change it again. It's my story and I can do what I want
Please review (even if you hate my words)and feed my ego monster, reviews help me write