Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes of Hazzard, not making any money, just cheap thrills

Warnings: Angst

A/N: The Tom Wopat reference is the title of the story. It is also the title track from Tom's album Learning To Love.

Italics indicate thought

Rating: FRT

Learning To Love

Chapter 2

Trembling slightly as he reached for his shirt, Bo was starting to think this date was a bad idea. Maybe he wasn't as ready as he'd thought. After all it had only been two weeks since Dr. Jameson removed the bandages and only a few days with no redness. Stop it Bo Duke, you ain't gonna let what Kathy Sue did rule the rest of your life, he firmly told himself. Taking a deep breath, willing himself to stop shaking, Bo slipped his good shirt on. Finished getting ready, he walked out of the bedroom he shared with his cousin. He was determined that his family wouldn't see the nervousness he felt about going out with Rachel Ann, knowing it would only worry them.

Stepping into the living room he saw Uncle Jesse and Luke playing checkers, while Daisy sat across the room sewing buttons onto a shirt. "Well guess I'm gonna leave now y'all. Don't let Luke beat ya Uncle Jesse." Bo teased, tryng to behave like it was any other night.

"You ain't got to worry about that none Bo. I might've taught him how to play checkers, but I didn't teach him all my tricks. You best get going if you don't want to be late, have a good time youngin."

Swallowing hard at the images those words brought to mind, it took every bit of Bo's stubborn pride not to beg Luke to come with him. I got to stop this. It's Rachel, not Kathy Sue, they ain't all like her, he reminded himself. Aloud all he said was, "I will Uncle Jesse, see y'all later." Stepping outside he went to the General and slid inside.

Ten minutes later he was pulling up in front of Rachel Ann's door, walking up the steps he knocked and waited. He didn't have to wait long, only a few seconds had passed when the door opened and he saw Rachel standing there. The sight of her in dark blue jeans so tight he'd swear she'd painted them on and a little white tank top that was barely there, took his breath away. Giving a long appreciative whistle, he felt himself relaxing as she blushed at the compliment. "Wow, you look prettier than a rose in winter." Blushing himself when he heard the words coming from his mouth. "I mean...um... well ya sure look nice."

"It's okay Bo, I know what you meant and I love what ya said. It was beautiful...really," Rachel reassured him. She knew he was nervous and didn't blame him a bit. Heck everybody in town knew what the Shelton girl had done to him, she was amazed he'd even want to date again. Rachel wouldn't pretend she understood what all he'd been through, but she knew it had to be hard for him to trust a girl after all of that. There wasn't much she could do, but she was determined to make this night as easy for him as she possibly could, honored to be the first girl since that witch. "So where we going?" Rachel asked, smiling brightly, trying to put him at ease.

"I thought...if it's okay with you...we don't have to if ya'd rather do something else..." He trailed off, looking away as he realized how he sounded.

"Bo? I'm sure whatever you have planned will be fine, I was only curious," she spoke gently to him.

"Umm...okay. Well I thought we could go over to Capital City, they got a dance at the hotel there on Saturday nights. We could have a nice dinner in the dining room while we're there too...if ya want."

"Sounds like fun, what are we waiting on?" Rachel enthusiasticly answered, it really did sound like a good time. Taking Bo's hand she half led him as they walked back to the General, not even blinking when he scooped her up and slid her into the car.

Bo was relieved that Rachel wasn't mad at him for making plans without asking her first. Still nervous in spite of her attempts to help him relax, Bo took another deep breath before climbing into the General. Sure seemed like he was doing that a lot tonight. Just one more reason he was glad he'd decided to go to Capital City on this date. At least there they weren't as likely to see people they knew, he wouldn't be feeling as though he were under a microscope. Wouldn't see others whispering, wondering if they were talking about him. Wouldn't think they were discussing the things Kathy Sue had done to him or asking themselves how a man could let something like that happen to him? Bo only hoped that being outside of Hazzard would make it easier to relax. He was so grateful that Rachel Ann would want to go out with him, even with all of his problems, that he was determined she wouldn't regret it.

Three hours later Bo pulled up in the yard of the Duke farm, he didn't get out of the General though. He just sat there, not knowing what to do. He should've known better, never should have tried to date anybody. He wasn't ready, didn't know... he choked back a sob at the thought. Didn't know if he'd ever be ready. What if he couldn't get past the things Kathy Sue had done to him?

Hearing the General's powerful engine when Bo came home, Luke lay in his bed waiting for his cousin to come inside. He lay there for twenty minutes without hearing the sound of the screen door squeaking open, nor any footsteps on the floor as Bo made his way to their room. He knew Bo hadn't left, he would've heard the car starting up. Luke was past worried after ten more minutes passed with no sign of Bo. Throwing back the covers, he pulled on a pair of jeans and made his way to the door. Looking out into the yard, Luke could see Bo sitting in the car, staring into space. Luke's breath caught in his throat when he saw the look on his younger cousin's face. He hadn't seen that look of sadness and despair in months, he hoped Rachel Ann hadn't been the one to put it there. She had always seemed like a nice girl, but Kathy Sue had proven to him that looks could be deceiving. Stepping outside Luke walked to the car and climbed into the passenger seat. "Want to talk about it?" He quietly asked, cursing himself when Bo jumped in the seat. "Sorry didn't mean to startle ya. Offer's still open, want to talk?"

"Ain't nuthin to talk about," the sullen answer.

"Oh sure, you always sit in the General after a date, staring off into space looking like ya just lost your best friend." Luke sarcasticly responded. "Want to try that again? Did Rachel Ann do something to upset ya?"

"No, well not exactly. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know what would happen. It was awful Luke," Bo moaned miserably.

"The date went that bad?"

"No, that's part of what's so awful. We went over to the Capital City hotel for the Saturday night dance, had dinner in the dining room and everything. I was real nervous at first, but Rachel was great. She was real supportive and did her best to put me at ease. It worked too, we had a real nice dinner. Then we went to the dance and that was great too. Was when we were headed to the General that things went wrong." Bo turned away from Luke, he couldn't tell him about this. Couldn't face the humilation of what he'd done, couldn't stand for his older cousin to know what a coward he had become.

"What happened Bo? Come on cousin, you can tell me...please?"

"I can't Luke, not this."

"Bo please?" Luke begged. In a moment of desperation he made a threat, knowing the moment he said it, he'd made a mistake. "Fine, you won't tell me, then guess I'll just have to ask Rachel Ann."

Paling at the thought Bo climbed out of the General and took off running towards the creek. He didn't get far before Luke tackled him to the ground.

"Bo, are ya crazy? You know better than to go running off into the dark, you could get hurt."

"So what! What does it matter, ain't like I'm of any use anymore!" Bo screamed at the older man, struggling to escape his hold. "Let me go Luke, please," he pled, hating himself, knowing that Luke would see him now for the coward he was.

"What are ya talking about Bo? Of course you're of use. What did that girl do to you?"

"She didn't do nothing, just showed me what a coward I've become. Guess ya might as well here it from me. Told you the date went good, until we was headed to the General. Rachel was talking and laughing, and I felt real good. Guess I got a little distracted though, cause she...she went to waving her hand in my face, and I... Next thing I know I'm curled up on the ground and there's a crowd of people gathered round. Rachel was telling them to back off and rubbing my back, saying...saying that it's okay. Telling me she wasn't going to hurt me. I didn't mean to do it Luke, didn't know what a coward I was, but all of a sudden, I was back there, back in her room and that belt was flying at my chest. I was so scared Luke and now Rachel ain't never gonna want to see me again. How could she want to be with a coward? So don't you tell me I ain't useless, not now that I know the truth."

"Bo ya ain't useless, ya just aren't ready for dating that's all, I'm sure of it." Seeing the disbelief on his cousin's face and wanting to make him see the truth, Luke tried another tactic. "Bo, ya think I'm a coward?"

"Of course not Luke, that's a stupid question!"

"Why's that Bo? By your definition that's what I am. Been a few times I've found myself shaking like a leaf because of a car backfiring. Sounds a lot like a gunshot ya know? Sometimes I hear something like that, or I catch a certain smell on the breeze and I ain't here anymore. I'm back in Vietnam, being shot at. Watching my buddies die, killing other boys just because they're on the wrong side and it's my job."

"That don't make ya a coward Luke. You went through a war, anybody would act like... I see what you're trying to do Luke, but it ain't the same thing. I wasn't in a war, I didn't see anybody die or have to kill anybody. I could've walked away, I didn't have to let Kathy Sue treat me like that but I did. I did cause I was too scared to fight back, at least after a while," Bo protested.

"Sorry Bo, but it is the same thing. You're right you could've walked away months before ya did, but I'll bet she didn't just start out hitting you did she? That's what I thought, it was probably gradual. I'll bet by the time she got to that, you already were starting to believe her lies. And look what happened when you did walk away. Ya were put through hell by that witch Bo and reacting like ya did tonight don't mean you're a coward. Believe me Bo you're a lot of things. You're kind, funny, supportive of your family and friends and ya got the biggest heart of anybody I ever known. But ya ain't a coward Bo and ya ain't useless. You just have to give yourself more time cousin. Time to heal, and time to learn how to trust again. You just tried to rush things Bo, that's all. But it will get better, I promise it will." Luke spoke gently, praying that his words were getting through.

Looking at his cousin with something close to awe, Bo couldn't help thinking how very lucky he was. "You promise Luke?" He whispered, hating that he sounded like a little kid looking for reassurance, but admitting to himself that's exactly what he felt like right now.

"I promise Bo...I promise. You ready to get up and go inside now?"

"Yeah," getting to his feet, Bo reached out and wrapped his arms around his older cousin. "Thanks Luke...for being here. Thanks for not giving up on me." He whispered, patting the older boy on the back, before releasing him from the tight hug. Throwing an arm companionably across Luke's shoulders, Bo led them into the house.

TBC

That's right boys and girls, no cliffhanger. But that doesn't mean y'all get out of the reviews. I still want to know what ya think. So click the button on the bottom left and tell me your thoughts.