Disclaimer: I own Jake Alexander and I don't own Olivia or Elliot or Fin etc.
"What…! Get out of my house! Go!" Alexandra Cabot screamed as she threw clothing at her boyfriend of two months.
"Wha…why? Because Olivia fell on my lips?" Jake scoffed.
"Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't know she kissed your lips to save her life!" she threw a pair of jeans that hit Jake in his face.
"That's how it happened!" Jake yelled and ripped the jeans off his face. "She tripped over her own desk, I grabbed her arms, but we both fell down and her lips connected with mine! I swear!" Jake said defensively as he scooted towards Alex.
"Was it good?" Alex said calmly crossing her arms.
"Was what good?" Jake asked confused and mad. "The kiss?" Alex rolled her eyes and scoffed.
"No it wasn't good! Besides, our lips hardly touched, Alex!" He pleaded grabbing Alex's hands.
"Well did you stop her from kissing you?" Alex asked.
"Our lips barely touched!" Alex pushed him away from her and walked away "I did not think she was going to hit my lips. Come on babe. You know nothing happened between me and Liv." Jake said turning around to face Alex.
"Liv?" Alex turned around staring right into Jake's eyes. "You're calling her Liv now?" Jake waited to answer.
"Well…yeah. I don't see anything wrong with that…do you?"
"You've only known her for five days." Alex protested. Jake shrugged. Alex smirked and walked closer to Jake.
"How long was Olivia on top of you, Jake?" Alex asked crossing her arms again.
"Wha…what?" Jake stuttered crossing his arms too. Alex raised an eyebrow.
"Do you want me to spell it out for you, Jake? I asked how long was Olivia on top of you after she fell on you?" Alex asked saying each word slowly. Jake thought before he spoke.
"I don't know, Alex. Maybe fifteen seconds." Jake said scratching the back of his head.
"Huh, fifteen seconds." Alex stepped closer to Jake again like she was in the court badgering a witness. "In those fifteen seconds, Detective Benson managed to plant her lips onto yours…" Jake rolled his eyes and huffed. "But you say, Jake, that this kiss was nothing more than an innocent peck on the lips… by accident. Isn't that right, Jake?" Jake huffed again.
"Yes. That's right Alex. Why are you questioning me like I'm a suspect? I'm your boyfriend." Alex chuckled.
"Yes, but for how long?" Alex smirked. Jake's eyes widened in dis belief. "So after this accidental…peck on the lips, which I'm assuming from your testimo…I mean statement…" She smirked devilishly again. "You said your lips barely touched."
"Oh for gods sake, Alex." Jake mumbled.
"But since that, let's say, that two second lip lock ended as soon as it began, what was Detective Benson doing on top of you for more than eleven seconds?" Jake stared at Alex annoyed then took a deep breath.
"Eleven seconds can be a long time, Jake." Alex stated.
"She tripped, I tried to catch her from falling but we both fell on the floor…" Jake's tone was nothing but pissed but he spoke calmly.
"And when you say we both fell you mean she fell on top of you?" Alex asked budding in.
"…Yes…" Jake stated gritting his teeth.
"And that's when you kissed her or she kissed you…but only for a sec, then… you two just laid there, on the floor. Olivia…just lying…on top of you." Jake smirked.
"You're making it bigger than it was." Jake said walking towards Alex.
"Damn straight I am! I hear that my boyfriend and my good friend are on the floor of the precinct on top of each other after they just got done kissing! That sounds pretty damn big to me, Jake!" Alex yelled uncrossing her arms.
"What did you want me to do? Throw her ass off of me?" Alex looked away. "She fell on me, Alex, okay! It was afucking accident!
"Don't swear at me!" Alex protested. Jake re adjusted his stance.
"I was not going to push her off of me and make a big scene about it, like how you are now! Everyone around us was laughing at us from falling so there was no one to help her up. She fell on me and touched my lips…that's IT!" Jake screamed. Alex slightly jumped in fear when Jake finished his sentence. Jake noticed Alex's jump and calmed down immediately. Jake stood in silence staring at the side of his girlfriend's face. A few seconds past by and Jake noticed something running down Alex's cheek. Is that a tear? Jake thought to himself. Wow, I've never seen Alex cry before, except that one other time…this must be really serious to her. Jake stepped closer to Alex.
"Alex, baby…" Jake said in a light whisper. Jake lightly toughed Alex's chin to turn her face towards his. Her eyes were down looking at the floor. "I'm sorry, Alex…" Jake spoke softly to his girlfriend now, especially since she was crying.
"No, Jake…" she whispered as she turned her head again and pushed Jake's hand away from her tears that he was trying to wipe away. "Please leave…" Alex's voice was like a whisper. Jake looked at Alex demandingly and he grabbed her arms.
"Alex…?"
"No. Just go, Jake." More tears touched the soft cheeks on Alex as she looked away. Jake's eyes started to flutter with tears. He walked over to his jeans and grabbed them and all the other clothing on the floor that was thrown at him. He walked past Alex and out the door.
Back At the SVU Precinct
"Hey Des." Jake said dryly as he sat down in his chair. Detective Elliot Stabler's desk and Jake Alexander's were attached.
"Hey DJ A." Elliot said a little enthusiastically towards his partner. Elliot was working on a stack of paper that he had no intension of finishing that day. Jake got straight to work on his own stack of papers on his desk.
"Jake, what's the big rush on all the paper work my friend?" Elliot said lying back in his chair playing with a pen in his hand.
"…I just want to keep my mind set on these papers in front of me today." Jake said not looking up.
"And why is that mi amigo?" Elliot asked. Jake looked up and over at Captain Cragen's office.
"Because she's here today." Jake said depressingly. He could see Alex through one of Cragen's office windows. Elliot stopped playing with his pen and started to work on the pack of papers.
"Oh. Sorry for bringing it up, Jake." Elliot said like a concerned friend. Before Jake could say that it was no big deal, Olivia walked up to the two detectives.
"Hi guys!" Olivia stated cheerfully. Both men looked up. How could they not.
"Livia." Elliot said noticing her cheerfulness.
"Hi Detective Benson." Jake said looking into Olivia's eyes.
"Oh come on, Jake. You know better then to call me by my detective name. It's Liv to you, Detective Alexander." She hit Jakes shoulder playfully then laughed. He smiled politely.
"Okay then Liv. But if I have to remember a nickname for your first name…" Olivia now looked confused. "You have to call me by a nickname too." Jake shot her a smile then so did she.
"Okay! I have no problem there Jakey." Jake smiled again. Elliot got up from his chair.
"I'm gonna go gag on my pen, excuse me." He left and went to the crib. As Jake's eyes followed Stabler's way up to the crib he caught another glimpse of Alex again. He did a double take. She is so beautiful. Jake thought to himself. Alex managed to look back out the window seeing her ex lover gaze at her.
"You wanna grab some coffee, Jakey?" Olivia tapped Jake's shoulder.
"Huh…? Ah sure." Jake got up off his chair and followed Olivia. He looked back at Cragen's window to see Alex still looking at him. Jake looked down at the floor then re directed his gaze towards Olivia's back trying not to make uncomfortable eye contact again with Ms. Cabot.
"I could go for some coffee and a cold shower." Jake mumbled under his breath. Olivia turned around and Jake nearly bumped into her.
"What was that, Jake?" Olivia asked towards Jakes mumbling.
"Huh? Oh I said I could really go for some coffee right now." Olivia raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms.
"Was that all, Jake?" she had a sexy grin on. Jake looked down at Olivia's mouth like he was in a trance. Olivia snapped her fingers in front of Jakes face to get his attention again.
"I know you can't read lips so stop looking at mine." She let a chuckle out when Jake kept on staring.
"Jake!" Fin shouted. "The coffee's getting cold. Get your staring ass over here!" Jake awoke out of the trance of staring at Olivia's lips and looked over to Fin holding a coffee cup and mug.
"Coming Uncle T.!" Jake shouted back at Fin. The walk space between desks was narrow and that caused Jake rub against one of Olivia's legs as he scooted by her.
"Excuse me Miss." Jake said southern like as he passed the detective. He shot her a smile then he was off to go over to Fin. Olivia melted as she saw how good of a gorgeous smile Jake always had. Olivia glanced at Jake's ass several times until John Munch came over to her and started conversation.
"I-I-I've be-e-e-en wa-a-a-atching you, O-l-l-l-i-i-vi-a-a." Munch stated deviously sipping his mid morning coffee. Olivia looked over at Munch then let out a full blush smile then she slapped Munch's arm lightly.
"Ow. I got brittle bones dontcha know." He said walking away slowly to his desk. Olivia chuckled then thought of what it would be like to date Jake. Fantastic. She thought. She blushed again and looked away when Jake did a double take to Olivia. She looked back and smiled. Jake held up his coffee cup.
"Hey, Olivia! Whatcha smilin at? Fin shouted purposely wanting to embarrass her.
"You're tight ass!" Munch yelled back. Munch, Fin, and Jake all burst out laughing as well as some other detectives.
"Shut up Munch!" Olivia said with puppy dog eyes defensively.
"Don't worry, Olivia. I don't mind." Fin said adding to more of Olivia's embarrassment.
"How can you blame the poor girl?" Munch chimed. "She's been eyeing your ass ever since you stepped foot in this precinct!" Again, everybody laughed, including Elliot that heard the whole ass conversation. He walked up to her and hugged her shoulders.
"It's okay Olivia. I knew ever since Fin came here, you would never look at my ass again." Olivia couldn't help but laugh from all the jokes and embarrassment. Everyone calmed down and got back to work either on papers or on coffee. Olivia looked up at Jake again. He saw her gaze and smiled. She pressed her lips together and blew him a kiss. Jakes eyes widened as this took him by surprise. He looked at Olivia like she was some kind of Alien.
"Hey, Jake. Fin started. "You might wanna watch your coff…" Jake screamed in pain as the hot coffee drenched his shirt and pants soaking through to his skin. Olivia gasped and ran over towards the coffee stained detective.
"Oh my god! How bad does it hurt?" Olivia asked with concern.
"I-I-I-I'mmm okay." Jake said trying to stay calm as he jittered on the counter.
"Here, put this ice pack on your stomach quick!" Fin demanded. Jake did so and there was a look of relief in his eyes as he slowly closed them.
"Come on, Jake. Come get cleaned off in the bathroom." Stabler threw Jake's arm over his shoulder and helped him walk over to the bathroom. Olivia turned around and watched as Jake was supported by Stabler and Fin into the bathroom.
"I'm never going to buy that brand of coffee again." Munch said as he put down his coffee mug and jogged over to Jake to help. Olivia smirked slightly at Munch's wit. Oh my god. It is totally my fault for what happened to Jake. I gotta make it up to him…but how? Olivia thought a moment but was interrupted by the sound of Cragen's voice yelling at somebody. She looked over at the window and saw Alex Cabot arguing with Cragen. Olivia looked away and got back to work.
A/N: Des Detective Elliot Stabler DJ A Detective Jake Alexander
After I read this I laughed; not because I thought it was funny but because I thought it sucked real bad:)