Chapter 4

Sawyer followed Kate to the caves, still not knowing why she wanted to get there so badly. He watched her entering Jack's cave and slowly got an idea, why she went there.

Kate ignored all the people staring at her and lay down on Jack's bed, taking his pillow in her arms like she had done with his backpack before. But the pillow was better, because it smelled like him. She cuddled in his bed and started sobbing again.

This time, Sawyer decided not to try and comfort her, although he wanted to. But Kate hadn't responded to him all the way to the caves, so he assumed that she just wanted to be alone.

Kate had been in a trance like state all the way back, but now that she was lieing on Jack's bed and taking his smell in, she started realizing that he was really gone.

She would never hear his voice again or feel his gentle touch. There would be no one who would keep her from running. There wouldn't be someone to would bring Guava seeds to as a silent apology. There was no one left who would silently sit besides her at the beach when she was upset.

How should she continue living without him? How should she ever smile or laugh again?

Her life was a mess. It had been that way for three years, but now it was worse. With Jack she had found the happiness, comfort and trust she had never known before. Now that he was gone, she realized that her life was absolutely empty. There was nothing left to lose and nothing left to live for.

Jack went to the river, cleaned the wound on his had and made a cold compress for his ankle. Then he lay down and tried unsuccessful to find some sleep. His thoughts drifted to Kate. What was she doing right now? Had she really gotten back safely? Had she cried because she thought he was dead? A part of him hoped she was mourning for him, but she other part was shocked by this selfish thought. How could he wish something like that? He loved Kate and he didn't want her to suffer. But he couldn't bear the thought that his death would leave her untouched, either. When Jack finally fell asleep the sun was already rising.

Kate didn't sleep the whole night. She didn't even notice how much time had passes, so she was surprised when Sun softly touched her shoulder. Kate hadn't even realized that Sun had entered the cave.

"Kate", Sun spoke softly to her. "I've brought you some breakfast."

Kate didn't want to talk to Sun; she just wanted to be left alone in Jacks cave where she felt near to him. But Sun deserved at last a sign that Kate had noticed her.

"Thanks Sun, but I can't eat right now," was all Kate was able to say.

Sun nodded. "Alright, but please drink at least some water."

"I will, later," Kate lied.

Sun wasn't really convinced, but decided to give Kate some more time.

"I'll leave the water here. If you need anything else, I'll always be there for you."

Kate nodded slightly and then brought Jack's pillow near her face again.

When Jack finally awoke he noticed appalled that it was already noon. The exhaustion and the concussion he probably had had knocked him out. Jack hurried to stand up. His ankle was still aching, but it wasn't as bad as the day before. He would be able to walk, but not as fast as he usually would. Jack hoped that he would get back to camp before it got dark.