Disclaimer: It's all JKR's.
A/N: Thanks to any and all of you who voted at the Multifaceted Awards! Dark Roast was voted the Runner-Up in the Rapture Category, which is Best Het Fic Rated G – PG-13. I was so giddy when I got the email this morning! In honor of that, here's a new chapter. Happy reading. : )
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"Bloody hell. He didn't tell you why he went to Italy?"
Hermione nodded, gulping her wine, not caring how undignified she looked. She smacked her lips. "Wait until I tell you the rest…"
Tonks looked absolutely gobsmacked. "Snape…I never would have expected that. I mean, the cellar at Grimmauld always had a tense atmosphere, but I thought it was the potions, not the sexual tension…what a situation to be in, honestly!"
Hermione waved her hand dramatically and intoned, "Two socially backward academics thrust into each other's company by extenuating and traumatic circumstances: who ultimately fall completely in love with each other but continually turn away from that love…sounds like some Regency romance if you ask me."
Tonks chuckled. "Regency romance or not, you and Snape are obviously meant to be together."
Hermione snorted. "Meant to be together?" She shuddered. "Re-fill my glass, Tonks."
"If you insist. Now tell me the rest of it."
---
"So this is the Manor," Severus said matter-of-factly as he strode through the fireplace.
Remus nodded. "Well, the library anyhow."
Severus gazed up, staring in unwitting awe at all the books. He took a few steps towards the nearest shelf, dusting the powder off his robes subconsciously.
"How many books are in the library?" he asked, walking along the bookshelf-lined walls.
"Nine thousand at last count, I believe. Or around there. Tonks knows the exact number."
Severus didn't acknowledge Remus. He paused in front of a shelf, extracting a book.
"Plurimus Malum Cruciatus illius Regius?" Severus asked in disbelief. He looked at Remus pointedly. "Every copy of this book was burned in the sixteenth century." He tried to open the book, but its bindings remained stubbornly locked.
Remus, who had been pouring whiskey by the fireplace, strode over to Severus. He looked at the cover. "Ahh," he said. "One of the infamous Black Bindings."
Remus placed a hand on the cover of the book. The bindings visibly relaxed.
"The book can only be opened by a resident of the house?" Severus asked.
"Right in one," Remus responded. He glanced at the shelf. "This particular section of the library was used by the sisters. Andromeda in particular read a lot of Muggle literature."
Severus snorted.
"As I hear it, Andromeda and Narcissa snuck a lot of Muggle literature into the Black libraries. They'd bind the books with a simple spell…"
"Yes," Severus interrupted. "The most common spell used by parents to keep their children out of adult business. The Kama Sutra, and things like that."
Remus blushed. "Well, they used that spell, simple as it was, to bind the books. Then they would charm the covers to resemble books like this." He waved the book in his hand.
"So they would bind the book and change the cover to that of a Dark Work to stave off their parents," Snape muttered. "And if the parents tried to open the book, they'd assume…"
"That it had been bound by the previous generation," Remus finished. "Quite ingenius, really. I think that a few 'Do Not Notice' charms were cast in this general direction of the library."
"Let's see what we have here." Severus took the slack book from Remus' hands and flipped the book open.
"Russian roulette?" Remus asked playfully.
"As it were," Severus said, allowing his eyes to fall randomly on the page.
God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. – But you understand me. – Yes, you see, you understand my feelings – and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice…
Severus snapped the book shut.
Remus looked at him curiously and took it, flipping it open to the title page. "Ever heard of a book called Emma?"
But Severus had already walked to the middle of the room, trying to control his features.
I have been a very indifferent lover.
"Guilty," he barely muttered.
You understand me.
Yes, you understand my feelings.
And will return them if you can.
He shut his eyes.
I need to get pissed, he thought. And concentrate on something else.
With great conviction, he looked around the room, studying his surroundings. The Turkish carpets were ornately designed, the bookshelves were mahogany, and the colors were rich. The leather wing-backed chairs sitting in front of the roaring fireplace were the most modern things in the room.
He allowed his gaze to wander up the bookshelves. They were incredibly tall, reaching up to the very top of the vaulted ceilings. Enchanted globes were bobbing towards the top of the ceiling, different parts of the world illuminating from second to second. The chandeliers that hung appeared to be pure gold and glimmered with crystal. The room exuded old wealth and finery.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Remus asked, taking a few steps to stand next to Severus. "I love being here, though sometimes I feel that I don't appreciate it as well as some people could."
"Such as?"
"You," Remus said simply. "Minerva, Filius. It shocked me to discover how many books that man has published."
"Yes, size isn't always everything," Snape said. Snark still intact, he thought wryly.
Remus laughed. "Very true." He pointed up. "I don't know if you noticed the second story. You'll notice that part of the floor is entirely missing."
Severus did notice. He glanced over at their first-story fireplace. Directly above it, there was no ceiling, merely golden rails jutting out in a jagged curve to keep people from falling into the fireplace and arm chairs below. He could vaguely make out even more lined bookshelves beyond the rails, and he saw the distinct shape of a lit fireplace.
"We rarely go up there," Remus said. "Most of the Dark Arts books are up there…"
Severus raised an eyebrow, interested. "It looks like the fireplace is already lit…"
"Some other time," Remus said quickly, walking towards the chairs and roaring fire. "I thought your purpose here was to get pissed and, as you can see, the whiskey and brandy is all here."He sat down in his arm chair, Severus following suit. There was a mahogany table between them, and several bottles of various liquors.
"Do you keep all the liquor here?" Severus asked snidely, sitting down.
"Yes," Remus said, taking his already-poured glass of whiskey. "Unless Tonks has taken to getting pissed up in the Dark Arts section, I am fairly certain it's all here."
"Of course," Severus said, reaching for his glass. He drank deeply, memories flooding back to him. His genial attitude immediately sobered.
He gazed at the flames darkly, the orange flickering in his obsidian eyes.
"What is the occasion?" Remus asked, cocking his head.
Severus took another drink. "I need at least two more of these."
Remus raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure we can do that." And he poured himself another glass.
---
On the second floor, Hermione had finished relaying her tale to Tonks.
"…and so now he thinks I've been unfaithful to him," Hermione said, teary-eyed, finishing her third glass of wine. "Not that there was ever anything to be unfaithful to."
"Your feelings, obviously. Snape is very loyal," Tonks said matter-of-factly, pouring more wine into the two glasses. "And it seems that betrayal of trust is the thing that he despises most."
"Funny for him to think that," Hermione muttered.
Tonks chuckled. "Well..." She shrugged. "My dad once said that my mum was like an onion. That she had a lot of layers to peel back, that not all were very pleasant, but that she was a woman worth peeling away layers for."
Hermione laughed. "That's funny." She turned to the fire and sipped yet again at her half-empty wine glass.
"It's like Snape. And you, you know. You're both incredibly difficult people to get to know, but it's worth it in the end."
"So Snape is an onion." Hermione looked at her pointedly. "And that makes me…?"
"An onion." Tonks nodded with a tone of finality, bursting into giggles.
"I'm an onion," Hermione said, amused, laying on her back. "This makes the rejection thing so much easier.
---
Severus was feeling sufficiently inebriated, but no so inebriated that the hands of the grandfather clock blurred. It had only been an hour.
"As your host," Remus said, slurring slightly, "I feel entitled to know a little bit about why we're drinking whiskey in my house. Not that I don't welcome the occasion, mind you, but still."
Severus sighed, and downed the remainder of his glass. "Well, it's about Hermione sod-her-brilliant-arse Granger and how she doesn't love me anymore."
Remus raised an eyebrow. Severus waved his hand.
"Give me your glass. We're going to have to have two more of these before you believe what I tell you."
---
"I still can't believe you bought a fugging busty for that wanker," Tonks said, opening a new bottle of wine.
"I know!" Hermione exclaimed. She was now on her stomach, propped up on her elbows. "It would look so good on me, but there's no one to see it…"
"I'd look at you in it," Tonks said. "Looked pretty hot to me."
"Tonks!" Hermione exclaimed. "You like naked chicks, don't you. Or any excuse you can use to get naked…"
"Haha," Tonks laughed. Her eyes lit up as she poured more wine. "Let's get naked right now!"
Hermione guffawed. "What, just sit around in our knickers?"
"I don't see why not. Contributes to the drunken atmosphere," Tonks informed as she handed a glass to Hermione.
"Let me finish this first. I just want to forget that I ever loved him," Hermione muttered.
Tonks looked at her pointedly. "That won't make this go away, you know…"
"I don't care," Hermione whispered. "I just don't care."
---
Severus stared at the fireplace. "I love that bloody witch," he muttered. "I've thought of nothing else for months and months. And now…" He drank more whiskey.
"You know, Severus," Remus started. "What if this is all just a misunderstanding?"
"What?" Severus turned his head sharply.
"Well," Remus said cautiously, "What if Hermione…hadn't…bought the bustier for someone else?"
"Don't be stupid. What woman buys a bustier like that if there isn't an audience?"
Remus sat, thinking. "I honestly don't know. But she was with Ginny…"
"Stop making excuses for her," Severus raised his voice. "She's young, pretty, intelligent, resourceful, witty…a man would have to be stupid not to want her."
"And young men often are. Stupid," Remus added. "Young men all too often pass over beautiful girls because they seek what will gratify them."
"Instant gratification culture," Severus announced.
"So you're agreeing with me?" Remus asked.
"No…young men can make foolish choices. But only for so long…and the young men who she knew are not so young anymore."
Remus, who knew a lost cause when he saw one, grabbed another bottle of whiskey.
---
A/N: The Latin title roughly translates as "Most Evil Torturing of Royals" – yes, note the Cruciatus. Means 'torture' in Latin. Tricky of Jo, eh? The book Severus reads from, Emma, is by the incomparable Jane Austen. Mr. Knightley says those lines to Emma while proposing to her – utterly romantic.
As always, thanks to my faithful reviewers: lilywhite, shadowgirl75, Gwenog Jones, Amber, Pheonix Flight, enchantedlight, mugglemomof3, jjj, duj, Snapecharmer, natsuyori, notwritten, cricketsong, Dizi 85, and rinny08. You're all wonderful!
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