A/N: Well… here I am with the third installment of this. Perhaps it should be the Jack saga or something… lol! Anyhow, a big thanks to G.A. Clive for coming up with the name of the Captain in this story! And for so many ideas… like the eunuch bit that I put in here and all the undead monkey jokes! Thanks so much!
Disclaimer: I don't own Captain Jack Sparrow nor anything else concerning him.
Finding the Pearl… Almost
Oh you're back… I wassuppsin you'd be back. No… I swear by me cousin's uncle that I haven't one sssssingle droppppp of rum since ye been gone. Oh stop your nagging… you bloody nag. Oh… I knew that you were to the right of me… heeheee… so where did I leave off… ah yes…
Well… I stole one of Tia Dalma's little boats… and made my way painfully to the only place I'd ever heard of that had crazy pirates on it… Tortuga. Now… Jack found out the hard way that you're not supposed to go to Tortuga all by your onsie…. (hiccup). So once there I got… mobbed, brutally mauled, drunk, mugged… no wait… it was drunk first because otherwise I would have reacted quicker. No wait… it probably would have been mobbed because then I would have gotten drunk afterwards to try and forget the memory… no wait… UNDEAD MONKEY! Excuse me a moment while I stomp on the undead monkey. Oh right… I knew that he was behind me…
Anyhow… where was I? Ah yes, Tortuga. When I was there I was mobbed, brutally mauled, drunk, mugged… no wait… I would have to be drunk first…
Okay! I get the bloody message already! Ahem… while I was at this bar I went around asking for recruits. Of course, everyone looked at me like I was crazy and laughed me out of the bloody bar. And laughed me out of the bloody bar… oh I already said that? Fine then… they all said that they wouldn't sail under an untried pirate. So that was when I decided to enlist myself to a pirate. I was looking and looking… that's a lovely tunic you are wearing by the way, and finally I ran into this captain that was uglier than a shark that had rammed itself into a rock for about an hour. He was… disgusting… oozing scars and a face that a mother couldn't even love… I still get the shudders thinking about it. He called himself Captain Harrowface and I decided that he was my best bet. So I shook his… er… shtump and we decided that I would server for about five years for him. GOD DAMN THAT MONKEY!
Well it's not like I actually hurt the monkey when I shtabbed it with me little knife… it be undead rememberrrrrrrrr? Ah fine… pout alllll you want but I'm not going to apologize to a bloody undead monkey…
Now the next morning, after they dumped water on me to get me over me hangover, I went onto old "Cutface's" ship to set sail to… the Isle del Murta (Is that spelt right? Lol!) I bet you were wondering how I found out about that place. Well old Cutface showed it to me… yup Captain Jack was sure happy to be going there. Not that old Harrowface wanted any of the treasure… oh no. He was highly superstitious and wouldn't even touch the chest filled with the gold. But now I knew where it was and I was sure happy to have that piece of information to tuck away in the back of me head.
I actually met one of me best friends on that ship… old Bootstrap. Or William Turner Senior I suppose. Yup… we met when we was swabbing out the deck together, got to talking and all. Good man Bootstrap was… he was a loyal and true friend right until the end. I got to talking to him about the ship I was going after when I had a bit too much rum (loose lips and all) and he was right eager to join me. Little did I know that me best mate was going to eventually father a bugging eunuch.
Alright, he's not actually a eunuch. But he sure acts like one, yessir… never seen such a eunuchy man in all my life. I hear he has a lovely sopranoooooo voice though… who did I hear it from youuuuu ask? Mr. Cotton's parrot o course! Anyway, back to the story at hand. Not me actual bloody hand you twit!
Anyways, we got to this cursed island and we sat there in our ship for the longest time. I think Harrowface was just trying to come up with a decision… should he risk eternal damnation or come back clean and clear? Well he did what any pirate or captain would do… risk eternal damnation. He may be superstitious but that doesn't slake his lust for gold… savvy? What happened next… is too boring to describe to you. Therefore, I am going to skip ahead to several days later… okay perhaps it is about several weeks later.
Wait… where's the monkey… usually he comes around about now… no something's wrong… ah wait never mind. He's over bugging Gibbs. Steady Gibbs! Don't let him get on your blind side otherwise you're going to be one flask of rum short! No… no the left Gibbs! Wait sorry… my fault… it looked like the left… everything looks like the left when you've dipped into the rum… ha ha!
Now where was I… ah yes we just left the Island of Creepiness and of Eternal Damnation and were making sail off to a small town off on the coast… somewhere. No I don't know where it was… what do you take me for? An atlas? Now shut yer trap and listen to Jack's story. Sorry… you're right… Captain Jack. We finally reached this little town and I experienced my first plunder… and let me tell ye… it was a strange experience. Women and children screaming and running in tears, men fighting us with guns and defending their families and homes by eventually giving their lives. I had a splendid time! It was thrilling… unethical… completely immoral… and yet I had no regrets about it. Not one regret. Harrowface said he saw a lot of potential in me, said he wanted to send me out on a lot more missions. His word, not mine.
Harrowface was a good man. Not good looking mind you, but he was a wonderful pirate. I could only hope to have as much experience and wisdom as he did… or does. I haven't heard from him since then. Though… I wouldn't be willing to give up me wonderful face for the experience… like I said… Harrowface wasn't that good looking. In fact… he was repulsive… he deserved to be locked up in an underground cell to hide his hideousness from the world. Only if you're judging by looks though. If you're judging by skill… he was perfect.
Harrowface even took it upon himself to personally train me in me pirate ways. He taught me all the sword tricks, all the cheats and lies that there were in the books. He even taught me my wonderful vocabulary… savvy being my personal favorite along with bugger. You ask if I would consider him like a father to me? Well I suppose I would… he helped me more than me real father did. But I also received a lot more harsh words and beatings from Harrowface… but it helped build my character I suppose. Anyway, because of him I was one step closer to finding that ship. The Pearl was my obsession… I needed to find it.
After seven years under Captain Harrowface, we ended back up in Tortuga again. I knew it was time to jump ship, I had to gather some men together so that when I got me ship I would be ready. By this time I no longer looked as young or naive as I did that first time out, nor was I inexperienced. I had some of the best training under my belt and I was now twenty-five. My face had hardened over and I looked rather weather beaten and tough. My hat had improved as well by the way, it too was worn and tattered with several more stains and patches than it did before. It was at that age that I started my signature dreadlocks… which I am terribly proudddd of.
Bootstrap got off with me at Tortuga… he had spent more time than and he was willing to serve some more. Old Bill had no desire to be a captain… he wasn't really much of a leader type. But he certainly was a wonderful mate… he was skilled and faithful. So in we stormed into the one and only bar. Everyone stopped to look at us… and for once I felt totally confident and proud. Yes, that marked my first day as a captain.
What? Oh… the ship is moving. Sorry mate… I had to lie a little to keep you on here. You see… we need another hannndddd… on the ship ye see. Don't worry… ye can write your mum when we stop at the next port and tell her you are safe and sound with old Jack. What do you mean that won't comfort her? It would certainly comfort me. Oh shut the bloody hell up why don't you? Go and help the others lift the rest of the sails… the Pearl will need it to get moving. If you do that I will tell ye how I got the Pearl. DAMN THAT MONKEY! BRING MY HAT BACKKKKKKK!
A/N: I liked this chapter better than the last one personally. Anyway, please review and tell me what YOU thought of it. I need some opinions if I want my writing to be any good you see? Captain Jack will give you all a present if you review…