Meanwhile at a completley different location, Hogwarts, Harry Potter was having a dizzying day.

It happened to be September 19, which happened to be Hermione's birthday. This could either be her sixteenth or seventeenth birthday. Or her eighteenth. It doesn't really matter in our story, because Hermione is not the main character. Who knew? Well, the fact that she isn't the main character makes me wonder why I'm still writing about her.

Moving on. Harry was in a tizzy. It was Hermione's Birthday, and for some unknown reason, unbeknownst to the fans, Hermione was in love with Harry. She was leaving Ron in the lurch, just as she had done for the past 6/7/8 years that she had known him.

It was common gossip amongst the teachers and students, and many had bets on when/if they would ever get together. Usually it was a couple Galleons or some muggle money. Why didn't the United Kingdom switch over to Euros? Think about it! Then the whole of Europe could get in on the heRmiONe relationship, or lack thereof. I guess it's not really a lack thereof sorta situation, but it's a will-they, won't- they kind of thing. Anyway, Dumbledore and McGonagall had a HUGE bet going on for years and years and years. The last be of these proportions was the James Potter/Lily Evans debacle in the 1970s. Obviously, the winner had amassed a large amount of money.

Anyway, it was Hermione's birthday and Harry had forgotten and he was a bumbling idiot. This girl was in love with him for wizard's sake. I was going to say for heaven's sake, but I'm not sure if these people believe in heaven. So I said wizards because they are, in fact, wizards, and should, therefore, believe in wizards. Harry had been in a weird place after Ginny, Ron's baby sister, conviently died, after she had been slipped a very complicated potion in her morning Pumpkin Juice. Everyone knew that Ginny had been in love with Harry, and he was on the verge of giving into her womanly wiles. But then she died. It was sorta sad. But I wouldn't know, because I wasn't invited to the funeral.

Ron, for all intents and purposes of our story, is not at all like the Ron we know and love in the books. He is more of a movie-Ron. Not as loyal (I will NEVER forgive Hermione stealing Ron's line in the third movie, Steve Kloves) Not as smart. Not as talented. Not as friendly. Kinda dumb, actually. He shall be rude, arrogant, clingy, dumb, and flighty, in this story. Sorry for the character assanation, Ron, but it had to be done.

What was I saying? Right. Ron had Hermione's birthday gift picked out for ages. It was a diamond ring. He was going to propose marriage on Hermione's birthday. You know, even though they're not dating or even close to being together, Ron figured she'd come to her senses and say yes to his proposal. I mean, I know I'D marry some random Rude, arrogant, clingy, dumb, flighty guy I'd not been dating if he proposed on my Sixteenth/Seventeenth/Eighteenth birthday. Did you catch the subtle sarcasm in that last little bit?

Anyway. Harry was busy looking under his bed for a book to give to Hermione. How was he supposed to know that Julie Acard had the exact same book. How was he supposed to even know who Julie Acard was?It's not like he was ruining Harry Potter canon by the efforts of Americanized adolescence.

Sadly, that was not to be the case.

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Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Note: It's gonna get interesting soon.