A/N: Don't expect to be able to fit this story in anywhere in particular (i.e., before/after/during either of the movies). It takes place when the characters are on holiday. Or something… yeah. A holiday from pirating, except, of course, they'll still be … pirates. Er, we're going to start writing the story now. Yeah.

Disclaimer: Same as before: Abbalina is hysterical because we don't own Johnny Depp, Lordy Duffano is hysterical because we don't own Jack Davenport, and George Clooney still sucks.

Chapter Two: In which your basic time-traveling Sue morphs into… some other kind of Sue. Fighter Sue! Huzzah!

Okay, so, RECAP! Omg lol! So, like, Morganne and I were on

TORTUGA!

and we were looking for Jack and Will! Those hottttttties! OMG LOLZ! Anywayz, I had a stroke of brilliance.

"Morganne! We should go to the tavern!" I exclaimed at Morganne.

"Wow, Pynelopie, you are soo smart," Morganne said. "But, um, like, which way is the tavern?"

"Morganne," I smirked omsinis- omnipote- um, um… all-knowingly. "It's the one with the gross drunk dudes fighting."

"You're the smart one!" Morganne giggled, and we skipped over to the tavern, which was conveniently right across the street.

We arrived and I wrinkled my nose. It smelled gross! Morganne covered her nose with her elbow and said, "I'll get a table," she offered.

"I'll go get us some rum."

"But what if it's gone?" Morganne said. I laughed, but she looked at me blankly. I sighed and went to the bar.

"A rum," I said, glaring at the wench behind the bar. She seemed to sense the wrath in my steely grey eyes and quickly got my drink. I was about to pay for it when another hand appeared in my sight, working a coin through his fingers.

"My treat," someone smirked behind me. I turned to face him, my flowing chestnut locks whipping with the speed of my movement.

"I can pay for my own drink, thank you very much," I glared at him with smoky chocolate-brown eyes.

"Well, by the looks of what you're wearing I figured you wanted me to come over here," he said, staring pointedly at my chest. But I ignored him, finally taking notice of my clothing. What WAS I wearing? Strange pants, and a vile pink shirt with this man's face on it.

"Oy! You there!" I called to the nearest pirate who seemed to be about my size.

"Eh?" he said, turning his head to look at me. I punched him squarely across the face. He struggled to reach for his pistol but I kicked it out of the way, jumping onto a nearby table. He scrambled up to face me, and I hit him again. His arms flailed wildly around, searching to make contact with something, but I pushed him into the wall. Slumping against the wall, I deemed him unconscious, and dragged him outside, hoping his clothes would suit me.

When I reentered, this time properly dressed, the man who had attempted to pay for my rum (which I sorrowfully realized I hadn't gotten a chance to drink) was still there.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Who said I want anything from you?" he replied. "You're the one that came prancing up to me, asking questions."

"Earlier, you… oh, bugger," I said, making my way back to the bar. Or, I was about to make my way back to the bar, but I heard my name in the distance.

"Pynelopie! Pynelopie Chastity-erson? Pynelopie Odette Tapioka Chastity-erson!" a distant voice shouted from a distance-y distance.

"What do you people want from me?" I yelled, kicking a chair over out of frustration. The scoundrels who had been sitting at that very table scooted their own chairs away nervously.

A rather plain-looking girl with mousy brown hair skipped into the tavern, calling my name. "Pynelopie! Like, oh my god, there you are! Did you like, find Johnny and Orli?"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," I said sullenly, desperately wishing for a drink.

"We're on

TORTUGA!

Remember? And we were looking for Captain Jack Sparrow and Will … " this girl continued. "Pynelopie? Oh, stop it, it's me! Your BFFL! Morganne!" I looked at her blankly. "Seriously, Pennie, this isn't funny."

"What. Did. You. Call. Me?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Um, I called you, Pennie?" she said stupidly.

I pulled a dagger out and touched its point to her throat. "If you're not going to call me by my name, then for the love of God, DON'T call me Pennie. Call me as I am more commonly known – the Crimson Dagger." I snatched the dagger away from her throat, threw it in the air, and caught it, balancing it by the tip of my index finger, its crimson blade glinting, even in the dim tavern lights. The tavern was suspiciously silent. Had they not heard of me? Me, the Crimson Dagger? Or perhaps they were struck silent in fearsome awe, awesome fear, some awe fear… yes, that had to be it.

"Pynelopie, I thought we were like sisters! How come you're waving a weird red knife aro – "

The Morganne girl slumped to the ground, and I tucked my pistol away.

"That girl you just killed suggested you were looking for me," that voice said, behind my ear. "Why?"

"I'm not," I said, whipping around to face him. "And if you think I want anything to do with you, mister, then you are sadly mistaken!"

He shrugged and took a sip of his rum.

"Fine… fine. If only you'll leave me alone, I'll join your crew. But just so you'll stop bothering me, do you understand? And I'll be a member of crew, not a … cabin wench," I snapped icily, then turned on my heel and marched out of the tavern.

That is how I found myself a crew member of the Black Pearl, and an… acquaintance of Jack Sparrow. I sulked around Tortuga looking for a room for the night.

NEXT CHAPTER: Streetwalking Sue! Yay!

Important A/N that should really come sooner: We're completely ripping the Sue flavors off a wonderful fic by psychotic kitten. What? It's not FanFic if there's no plagiarism involved…